


Promise: Thorin x Fíli x Reader

by gh0st3d



Series: Promise [1]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Angst and Feels, During The Hobbit, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Forbidden Love, Love Confessions, Love Triangles, Modern Girl in Middle Earth, Potential Bilbo/Bofur ship - Freeform, Reader-Insert, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2020-09-30 14:41:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 220,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20448785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gh0st3d/pseuds/gh0st3d
Summary: An unfortunate event leads modern day Y/N to travel to Middle Earth with strange markings on her arms and no memory of how she got there. As she struggles to collect her memories and come to terms on whether or not she's dreaming a familiar recurring dream, she also finds that she's able to receive visions. Intrigued by the marks she carries, Thorin and Company decide to bring her with them as they embark on their adventure to reclaim their homeland. It doesn't take Y/N long to realize that this is no dream and that the dangers are very much real, but luckily there are those who have already took it upon themselves to look after her. But somewhere along the way, that duty of protection grows into something deeper. When Y/N's memories finally return and her purpose becomes clear, will her love for the Dwarves she's grown fond of be enough to alter the course of fate or will she need to put her own duty first?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> (FYI: I also have this fanfic posted on Wattpad under the user "dagh0st" but I'm not entirely pleased with my initial plans for the story, so I’m discontinuing the series there and rewriting it here.)
> 
> With this particular fanfic, love will arise between Reader X Thorin and Reader X Fili. I apologize if there’s some OOC action going on, but I’ll try to stay as true to the characters as I can to make the story work. This will be a multiple part series and a slow burn with angst, fluff, and eventual smut because my hands like to slip all over these delicious beasts. 
> 
> Part 1 will contain all 3 Hobbit films.
> 
> Happy reading!

The embers of the fire roaring in the fireplace soared up into the deep night sky and it carried with it the collective hopes and fears of all of the Company.

There was a tenseness in the Hobbit home; an air of ebbing hope mingling with remnants of the memory of a kingdom lost and the desire to reclaim it.

Shortly after the "Misty Mountains" song was sung, an abrupt rumbling sound followed by a deep, resounding boom brought the attention of the Hobbit, Wizard, and all thirteen Dwarves away from their thoughts and towards the windows -- worry was soon replaced with wonder. The cause of the noise appeared to be that of an oncoming storm. But from the sound alone, it was different than average thunder clouds should be; the rumbling extended longer than usual, the booming more like resounding canon fire than a clash of clouds and upon seeing the sight outside, it most certainly was an unusual phenomenon that Middle Earth has never before witnessed. 

Bright, colorful pastel clouds rolled in with the ebbing and flowing current like that of an ocean's waves, bringing a peculiar rainbow lightning show as it rolled closer and closer to the Shire. But that wasn't the only thing it brought with it. Little did everyone know that this mystical vapor carried something even more precious inside, something valuable beyond all measure to the perils that lay ahead as it charged its way towards them. It was a beautiful sight to behold and not a single pair of eyes dared look away.

It was the middle of the night, after all, and these cluster of clouds seemed to be filled with their own sustaining light from the inside as if it carried the rising sun even though daylight was far from reach.

It approached the land hovering over the outskirts of Hobbiton and the clouds rolled and flowed as a tide would, rushing in and then retreating but reaching closer and closer each time. No rain fell from the colorful puffs, but the air was filled with a peculiar electric energy. A charge that made their hearts race and hairs stand on end in anticipation.

Something big was going to happen.

Bilbo, from his bedroom, abandoned his bedpost and set his sights on the colorful array before him from his tiny window. He marveled at its obscure, celestial beauty and watched on with wary curiosity. How captivating! The cloud's movements reminded him of watercolors and the way ink looks when dipped in water. There actually appeared to be water flowing from underneath the rolling clouds, but Bilbo knew that that was impossible. It made no sense for water to sustain itself in such a manner in the sky without being grounded. But then again, Bilbo had never seen a storm quite like this before. And surely not one so colorful and sudden in its appearance. Balin did mention something about there being rain, but he didn't think this was what the Dwarf was referring to at all, especially since it wasn't raining. _ Is this magic? The product of a wizard's doing? _he thought in wonder. Bilbo had a mind to join the others out in the living room, but he didn't want to miss a single moment of this, so he remained where he was.

The clouds steadily made their way overhead and stopped at its destination once it hovered over Bilbo's home, engulfing the sky in its spectacular colorful spoils. The thunder had dulled down to a quiet roar.

The Company gasped and pointed, unable to fathom what would happen next as they pushed and shoved to get a better view. Gandalf leaned over the men, able to see above their heads with no issue. The wizard was well aware that there were those in Middle Earth who were capable of altering the weather or summoning it completely, however, none resided in this part of the land and moreover, this didn't appear to be the result of climate manipulation. It _ was _magic, however. Gandalf could feel it humming through his bones; but this magic was on a much grander scale than any he had ever encountered before. It was also very foreign to him, which gave him pause.

And then, with a single blast of thunder and lightning, a bolt of blue struck fierce directly upon the front lawn with a loud snap, filling the sky with a blinding light. Bilbo flinched and leapt backwards. In the living room, some of the Dwarves staggered back from the windows as they felt the vibration of the lightning bolt vibrating in the ground beneath their feet even from indoors while others merely shielded their eyes before returning their gaze to the sky.

Immediately after the ground was electrocuted from the mystical storm, the clouds retreated in the same direction from whence they came with the grace of a lithe dancer, taking its beautiful collage of color to bellow back deeper and deeper into the distance until it finally dissipated among the dark blue clouds that took its place. It was as if the storm never was.

A stark silence overcame the group before they all jumped to life in a heated circle.

"How unusual. What could this mean?" Balin asked aloud to no one in particular.

"I have never seen anythin' like it! Have you?" Someone else asked.

"Never!"

"Aye, t'was quite a magical sight..."

"Perhaps this is an omen of some kind."

"Magic!"

"Well, which is it? Dark magic? Light?"

“I don’ like this.”

The band continued on their excited discussion at this strange storm that appeared out of the blue and what its presence could possibly mean.

"Mister Gandalf, what kind of storm was that? That wasn't normal... was it?" Dori asked. The Wizard's attention remained transfixed in the direction the colorful clouds disappeared. He was perplexed at the startling activity and was wondering what it could mean before casting his eyes to the scorched piece of land the bolt of electricity struck.

"No, Dori, that certainly was not normal."

Thankfully there wasn't a fire, and the smoke billowed from the scorched piece of earth before fading into the night sky along with its creator. But something was amiss... Gandalf squinted his wary eyes when something curious caught his view: a figure was lying there! Had they been on their way to see Bilbo and got struck? No... they would have been noticed and he would have sensed another presence venturing close. It was in that moment that Gandalf knew that the storm was a portal and it had delivered something in its wake. He began coughing on his pipe in surprise at the realization just as Bilbo ran in to join the Company amidst their theory-swapping to see if anyone else saw the same thing he did, hoping to gain some answers in the process.

"There's someone out there!" the youngest Dwarf, Ori, pointed frantically, practically hopping in place. 

In unison, all heads whipped over to the windows and there was an obvious pause with a quick exchange of looks around the room before the Dwarves rushed all at once to press their faces against the glass for any available window space. Those not lucky enough to find a decent spot resorted to climbing on each other to gain a better view.

"Oh my... " Bilbo muttered, reaching up to grab his curly hair nervously, not bothering to get in the middle of the insanity at the windows and opting to stay far behind them to remain safe from the pushing and shoving that ensued. Gandalf finally composed himself and spoke above the chatter of the Dwarves to the flustered Hobbit.

"Bilbo, it appears you have another guest. Let us go check on them, they may need our help."

"What? Another... oh, lovely." 

Well, it did happen on his property, after all. It was only fair that he should take part to investigate it, he thought grimly to himself. "I'll accompany you," Gandalf added when he noticed the Hobbit's reluctance. That seemed to appease him and Bilbo felt a rush of confidence knowing he'd have ample protection should anything go wrong. He made sure to grab a candle as the two of them exited the house to make their careful steps toward the figure who lay fallen on Bilbo's lawn. Bilbo glanced a few times at Gandalf to gauge his expression and was not comforted by what he saw. Neither knew what to expect, but they approached with caution. When the Dwarves noticed them leaving, they promptly followed, grabbing weapons on the way out for good measure.

The group loitered behind when Gandalf and Bilbo drew nearer to the shallow scorched pit. They peeked around one another as they tried to discern what they were all looking at, but nobody else moved any closer.

"Careful, lads..."

"Well?"

"What is it?"

"Ori! Stay back! We have no idea what that is!"

The Dwarves engaged in further banter and inquiries that went unanswered as Bilbo and Gandalf got close enough to check. A part of the Hobbit feared that whatever this thing was would suddenly lurch to life and attack him, but since he was under the watchful eye of Gandalf the Gray, he knew -- hoped -- he was in good hands. Gandalf clutched onto his staff and held his hand to Bilbo, signaling him to halt. Closing his eyes, Gandalf murmured a few words and used his magic to feel out the stranger for any malicious intent, but found none.

_Curious. Very curious,_ Gandalf hummed. He gave an expectant nod to Bilbo before inclining his head towards the lump as an obvious indication for Bilbo to move forward. 

_ Ugh, why me? _Bilbo sighed in disdain, recalling all the events that knocked his once orderly structured life off kilter. Ah well, what was one more surprise? Adjusting his suspenders and nervously clearing his throat, Bilbo closed the remaining distance and squatted down to his haunches to get a better look. He hummed inquisitively as he guided the candlelight over the still form.

Well, whatever it was, it was larger than him; curled up into a fetal position and very dirty with mud, plants, blood, and soot. But even though the face was concealed, he could make out very distinctive shapes and curves to venture a good guess.

"It's a woman...?" the Hobbit whispered dumbfounded. 

He shined the candle light closer and brushed the wet hair out of her face to confirm. Her hair and strange clothing were completely drenched in water, but her skin was dampened, bruised, and littered with various scrapes and cuts, probably from the fall through the sky followed by her very likely painful landing. If he didn't know any better, she almost looked like she was sleeping peacefully, but he felt that wasn't the case. How would anybody survive that? Bilbo felt a little sorry for her in this unfortunate state as he reached to wipe off the mud from her cheeks, unsure if she was dead or dying. She was cool to the touch. It would be a miracle if she was alive through getting struck by lightning. But what Bilbo wanted to know was what was she doing here? Gandalf didn't mention anything about more members showing up to this gathering earlier…

He brushed more muck away from her face to reveal full, pouting lips, round cheeks, and lush wet lashes resting on top of them.

_ She's pretty, _he thought to himself as a small smile reached his lips. 

Gandalf asked him something that went unheard just as the woman scrunched up her face at the sudden contact and made the smallest of whimpers in distress, but remained otherwise unconscious. Bilbo yelped in surprise, jumping to his feet to stagger back in shock, which caused all the other Dwarves who were slowly inching their way closer to the crater to do the same thing in one startled, collective shout as they also tumbled back a few steps.

"S-she's alive!" Bilbo squeaked to Gandalf, joining the group from a safe distance.

"She?"

"A woman!?"

"What in the--"

"Mahal! Then go check on her, laddie!" Dwalin scolded, shoving Bilbo forward as means to finish what he started. 

Gandalf remained in place and hadn't moved since Bilbo fled, but he indicated for everyone, including Bilbo, to keep back. Woman or not, they had no idea who or what she really was and if she posed any sort of threat. All he knew for sure was that she was bolted out of the sky from mystical storm clouds -- for all intents and purposes, deliberately -- onto Bilbo's property and she somehow managed to survive it.

Gandalf used his magic again to try and locate any ill or malicious enchantment, control, dark power, spells, or anything else that could give him answers now that she was semi-conscious but found nothing of the sort. She was just a human. The only thing he knew for certain was the fact that this human woman was not from Middle Earth, and that wasn't just apparent based on her attire or means of arrival. He could just sense it from her energy. The wizard murmured to himself in contemplation when he noticed a faint glow of blue, the same color from the lightning as well as the mark he had placed on Bilbo's door, emanating from her muddied arms and Gandalf leaned down using his staff for support to further inspect the source, turning one arm over in his hand and wiping the mud away.

Gandalf gasped at what he found etched into her arm: runes! Ancient Dwarvish that he was unable to interpret, much like the instructions from the map. The marks were starting to fade -- and fast -- as the light of the moon had begun to dim from clouds but she appeared to have one word and a symbol divided into each arm. "What on earth...?" he whispered as the light began to fade.

"What is it?" Thorin asked, taking a few steps forward away from the group, his hand lingering on the hilt of his weapon as a precaution.

"Thorin, you may want to take a look at this. Quickly!" Gandalf barked urgently, not once taking his eyes off the markings as they began to dim and settle as tattoos in her skin before they, too, began to fade right before his eyes. If only he had something to write with to jot them down! He heard the uncrowned king's boots jogging closer before they stopped beside him. Gandalf held her arm out for Thorin to see and his brows furrowed before he leaned in, quickly snatching up her limp arm in his hands to inspect.

"This..." Thorin could utter nothing further. He only caught a glimpse of the marks before they disappeared from view, leaving nothing but clear skin garnished in dirt. He wasn't sure what this was supposed to mean, what those markings read, why a woman had Khuzdul imprinted on her skin, or if she was friend or foe. He and Gandalf shared a look.

The sudden urgency in his movements had Dwalin, Balin, and his nephews running to Thorin's aid with concerned expressions with the others closely following behind. "This truly is an omen of either the greatest fortunes or misfortunes, I do not know..." he muttered up to the sky, long bereft of colorful mysteries and answers.

"She had markings on her arms in Ancient Dwarvish. Unfortunately, they faded before I could get a proper look," Gandalf spat in disappointment to the Dwarves that joined them. There were mutterings of intrigue and surprise at this news. 

"Aye," Thorin concurred, his eyes searching her now rune-free skin. "I have glimpsed them, as well. They faded before I could see them in their entirety. Perhaps they were a warning, or further instructions; I cannot say."

"By Durin..." Balin breathed.

"Poor, lass... she's riddled with injuries," Fili mumbled when he took in her battered state while Kili squatted down to get a better look at her.

"She's human!" Kili exclaimed, checking her ears, teeth, and face for any specific racial markings that would suggest otherwise. Bilbo wandered back over, awkwardly grasping his candle and feeling very foolish for his jumpy behavior, which seemed like it was all for nothing now.

"So, is she still movin'? What do we do with 'er?" Dwalin gruffly asked, not knowing what to make of the situation.

Kili and Fili looked over to him with incredulous expressions.

"Well, we can't very much leave her out here! She's obviously hurt," Bilbo stammered.

"Quickly," Thorin barked above the uprising chatter of his men while the woman began to stir once more. "Grab a blanket and make room for her by the fireplace."

He awkwardly scooped her body into his arms and carried her inside as his men shuffled into action. Bilbo dashed in first after announcing he'd retrieve the blanket. Although she was human, and rather dainty in stature, Thorin still easily managed to fit her in his arms even though she was a bit larger than he was. To him, she weighed nothing more than his sword and shield.

During the short walk inside, the woman had made several attempts of waking, but never once opened her eyes and seemed to fall back unconscious upon trying to wake fully. Oin was tasked to tend to her wounds which were, quite surprisingly, not severe and he was assisted by several others to get her cleaned off and wrapped in blankets to keep her dry and warm.

The runes never made another reappearance but the knowledge that they were in fact there roused many theories. And questions. 

"She's not from Middle Earth," Gandalf confirmed once the men were finally settled. He sat himself down in a chair and stroked his beard in thought. "And that was no mere thunderstorm. I have never encountered a power quite like this in all my years... I would say she was brought here from another world for a purpose. Perhaps to aid you on your journey. And considering the markings upon her arms... it may be wise to keep her with you."

Some of the Dwarves such as Fili, Kili, Ori, Bifur, and Bofur remained close to her sleeping form to guard her; watching on and talking among themselves. They seemed happy to have a pleasant distraction from their foreboding woes of the journey ahead. But they were also very curious and wary. Bilbo stayed with them for a while before humbly retreating to the other side of the room to overhear the discussion being had and Balin, Dwalin, Thorin, and the others who took post on the other side to deliberate on what to do about the strange girl from the sky.

"First a Hobbit and now a human woman?" Thorin sneered. "I am beginning to think you mock me, Gandalf. These are hardly worthy traveling companions for my Company."

"Mocking you? I have done nothing of the sort! You saw the markings upon her, Thorin. Surely even you cannot deny their significance," Gandalf defended, insulted that he would even suggest such an idea given all the help he's offered thus far.

"About those runes on her arms," Balin interjected. "Did you happen to get a glimpse on what they looked like? Any detail at all that might help?"

Gandalf shook his head and puffed at his pipe furiously, "No, I was unable to read them before they disappeared. But my memory is as sharp as ever, so if I saw similar markings, I could confirm what I saw."

"Perhaps the map?"

Gandalf shook his head. He referenced the map after the girl was brought in, but none of the words jumped out at him as a match. He knew the person they needed to go to in order to decipher the clues on the map and he hoped that perhaps that same person could also shed some light on the mystery of this woman. Maybe even have the sight to see the runes hidden away in her arms if they didn't return. Until then, he thought it wise to keep her with the Company, especially since her arrival was too happenstance to ignore.

Gloin observed the stern look on Thorin's face. "What do ya think, Thorin? Should we bring her with us?"

He threw a look to Gandalf, who returned an approving nod to reaffirm his personal view on the matter. With a deep sigh, Thorin's icy stare landed on the woman curled in front of the fireplace and then to his kin who sat near to her. Fili and Kili seemed especially entranced by this debacle, sitting beside her as if she were a harmless friend when they all knew nothing of her. _ Would it be worth the risk? _Thorin wondered. There was no place for a woman -- a human woman -- on this quest, let alone with a group of male Dwarves. She would be a burden and an unnecessary distraction they didn't need. She would just be another mouth to feed and another body he'd have to protect. He couldn't guarantee her safety any more than he could have guaranteed Bilbo's. That on its own was enough to dismiss the idea on bringing her along.

And yet...

Thorin was intrigued by the Khuzdul he caught just a mere glimpse of. He wanted to know what they meant. Were they a sign? A blessing? A warning? Would she grant them luck or would she be their demise? She arrived in such a mystical, otherworldly way... it had to mean _ something _ and Thorin would be a fool to deny that this was anything other than an act of fate. But there were still many questions to ask with answers he knew that only she could provide before any solid decision could be made.

"I must side with Gandalf," Balin added, taking note of all the thoughts Thorin was thinking of. "She may be valuable to our cause, Thorin. I think we should take her with us. At least until we talk to her and learn why she's come here and what those markings read."

"Aye!" Oin agreed, the superstitious believer in him already embracing this situation as a sign from above.

"But they've disappeared! How are we to know if they will ever return? I say we leave her with the Hobbit and be done with it," Nori argued. Very few of the party grunted in agreement.

"They could be a warnin', or worse! A curse!"

The odds of success of this quest were already stacked against them. Thorin understood that nobody wished to add on to the scale opposing their favor, he knew he surely didn't. But what if this woman truly did turn the tide for them? Perhaps this was a gift from their beloved deity. After all, of all places she could have arrived at, she arrived here in the Shire on Bilbo's property, at this very time -- for a reason. He had come to a decision.

"Well, Thorin? What say you?" Balin asked. All eyes turned to the uncrowned king.

"We will wait for her to wake. She may have the answers we seek and I will decide what we do with her after."

"Aye, but we don't know when that would be. Perhaps we should try waking her now. Just be careful, we still know nothing about where she came from or what she's capable of," Balin urged gently.

* * *

_"Mr. Bilbo? Where are you off to?" A neighbor inquires._

_Not breaking stride and bounding away as fast as his feet can carry him, the Hobbit flew over the ground bounding over chickens, irregularities in the terrain, and other obstacles in his way while the tightly clutched contract fluttered in his hand like the tail of a kite. A nonparticipating spectator watches on unseen, already charmed by this endearing halfling and urging him to run faster to catch up with the group far ahead._

_"Can't stop, I'm already late!" Bilbo called back, unable to hear the spectator's words of urgency._

_"Late for what?"_

_"I'm going on an adventure!"_

_Later down the way, the Hobbit had managed to catch up to the traveling band who were already voicing their displeasure in regards to Bilbo's rejection to joining them as their burglar. The spectator already had her beliefs set in Bilbo._

_"Wait!" Bilbo called, halting the Company in their tracks. "Wait!"_

_"I signed it!" he declares with a pleased smile. _

As quickly as the familiar part of the dream started, it was suddenly cut short until there was nothing but darkness. Then an unknown voice speaking in a language the spectator, Y/N, had never heard before. She didn't know how she understood it, but she did. They conversed for a while before she was ricocheted out of everything she once knew. Little to her knowledge, she was now to embark on her own adventure. 

* * *

Y/N felt a heat on her face and an immense warmth on her body like a kind embrace. Dimly, she tried to recall how she got back into her bed. She was... somewhere else. Yes, she was outdoors. But where? And why couldn't she remember anything aside from the small bit of her dream? Her entire body was sore and itchy and her mind was as scrambled as eggs at breakfast. She felt like she tumbled through a washing machine and could still feel the motions of it all sloshing her brain around like a bad hangover and it was very disorienting. It didn't help that the room felt like it was spinning even though she was lying down. Had she gotten drunk the night before? She didn’t think so. 

"Lass?"

_ Another dream? _Y/N thought wonderingly, nuzzling her face deeper into the warmth. _ Weird, it doesn't usually start this way... is it finally over? _

Over the past several months she had been having an especially vivid recurring dream involving a large group of short men (Dwarves, they called themselves) and a “halfling". It played out like an epic fantasy movie in her head showing bits and pieces of the perils the Company faced and the people they met; her dream self never participated in the adventure, which she found odd. Y/N only observed them travel down the same roads and face the same trials and tribulations over and over again. Everything turned out exactly the same.

The moment sleep found her, lot of them took off on their quest and she seemed to experience it all anew with them, as if it was the first time she was dreaming it. Lord knew how many times she dreamt of this blasted thing, though. It started off joyful and happy and always ended with her screaming herself awake before bursting into tears at the tragic loss of friends that she has never met and who had never known her because they didn't exist. She was tormented by this dream not only during sleep, but during waking hours. She didn’t know what to make of it. Or why it happened every single night. 

“Lass…?”

That voice sounded super familiar... Y/N thought hard on who that voice could have belonged to but couldn't quite place it. So far, her dream was revealing nothing but darkness and physical aches but at least it wasn’t the same taxing recurring dream she’d been subject to that always opened with a wizard named Gandalf the Gray trying to entice a respectable Hobbit named Bilbo Baggins to partake on a quest. Since that scene wasn’t happening, maybe she had finally broke free of it!

Wait, she was aware of her consciousness and the ability to think whilst hearing voices... and yet she wasn't waking... _ Oh god, I hope this isn't sleep paralysis! _ She groaned, having experienced that discomfort many times in the past of hearing voices clear as day in darkness while her body was trapped of all ability to move. Maybe she should try--

_ Tap-tap. _

_ Wait. You aren't supposed to feel anything touching you during sleep paralysis; what the hell kind of dream is this?! _she thought fearfully. A few more taps and a gentle shake later, Y/N's eyes fluttered open and landed on a pair of bright blue eyes looking down at her. Her misty eyes widened in shock and she attempted to sit up but found she was restrained. The smells, the sounds, and the sights that came into view around her... this was not her room. Not enjoying the sensation of being bound up with a stranger standing above her in a foreign place, she began to struggle frantically in her hold. She took a momentary breath of relief in realizing that her restraints were nothing more than blankets once she was able to yank an arm free before facing bigger troubles.

"Whoa! Easy now, lass! Easy!" A friendly voice cooed from beside her. Her mind was now cleared when she freed her arms enough to sit up to take in her surroundings. The first thing she refocused on was the man who stood above her from in front. His dark hair hung around his face from his widows peak, streaked with bits of gray and his lips were set in a hard line amidst a thick, short beard. Those piercing blue eyes... Y/N knew that face! Thorin Oakenshield!? She blinked. She blinked again. She rubbed the blur from her eyes and slapped her cheeks to try to discern whether or not this was yet another dream (a very vivid, scary realistic dream), causing the Dwarf king to frown at her questioningly before raising a thick eyebrow.

"Aye, there ya go. Careful of the fireplace, it's right behind ya." That same voice from before belonged to Bofur, who appeared at Thorin's left and greeted her with a deep dimpled smile. He had his pipe clutched close in hand but didn't smoke in front of her.

Y/N gave a tentative scoot forward away from the crackling fire behind her and all at once the Dwarves from her fantasy epic recurring dream came into view. Even Gandalf was there!

She didn't know what to say. Aside from being at a complete loss for words, many emotions flitted through her mind. 

Confusion being the main derivative; excitement, anxiety, denial, but above all she was stunned beyond comparison. Y/N felt that she was wide awake and she was certain that she was fully conscious. But there was just no way this was real. Was this her mind’s way of continuing on this crazy ride while adding a new twist by allowing her to finally participate in the epic? God, she didn’t know whether to be annoyed or happy for _some_ semblance of change in her sleeping routine. 

Y/N's heart was pounding as she twisted her head around to review the room. Yup. This was Bilbo’s house. And her awareness was too visceral for her to continue believing that this was a dream. But it had to be! There was no other reason for it. But it still didn't explain why she was here or why she had no memory of arriving there at all. Try as she might, she couldn't locate anything to prove otherwise. And when she tried to remember what she was doing the other day, a splitting headache slammed into her. A hint of fear escaped through each beat of silence that passed while she got stared down by a bunch of fully grown Dwarven men she’d only ever dreamed of.

If she wasn't so terrified by not remembering how she got there, she would have laughed it off and allowed the dream to run its course. But deep down, Y/N felt that something was wrong with this whole situation. Very wrong. On top of that, she was forgetting something really important and it was obvious that something horrible happened subsequently to her waking, and she for damn sure wanted to get to the bottom of it and receive some well-earned answers. For now, she carefully tested the waters and took another thorough look around; there was one face that she didn't see in the room that she knew was present somewhere.

The only person who knew the extent of her dream was her therapist, which Y/N saw fit to see once the dreams occurred every single night for two months straight. Would her therapist have set this up? That as another -- although highly unlikely -- scenario she considered. 

"Nice, okay. So, you're all here. Where's Bilbo?" she asked with an empty chuckle, annoyance hitched into her tone. Fuck, was she drugged? It was a definite possibility. Or drunk. 

Thorin's eyes widened before narrowing suspiciously. "You know of the Hobbit?" his deep voice demanded. Under normal circumstances, his baritone voice would have made her swoon and melt into a puddle, but since there was a chance of possible drug usage and/or kidnapping at work, she was rightly angry and scared and not up to playing this game for longer than necessary.

"Yeah, I know him! I've dreamed this a bunch of times--" This earned her a round of questioned looks between the Company, some even mouthing "dreamed this?" to one another with raised eyebrows. "--though I have to say, I have no idea why you kidnapped me or if my therapist put you up to this but if you don't explain yourselves, you can bet your sorry asses I will press char--"

"Kidnap?!" Thorin boomed above all chatter. He straightened up with blatant insult clear on his face at the very mention of the word and this time, Y/N did laugh. This was it. She was truly nuts. Shit, were her friends and family involved, too? Was this all their idea and were they all going to pop out from behind a corner and yell, "Surprise! Got ya!"?

"Yes! Kidnap! I gave zero consent to whatever the hell is going on and quite frankly, I want no part in whatever little ploy you dragged me into. I don't care who's paying you, or how much you're being paid, but I'd think you'd all have something way more important to do with your time than worsen my sleeping affliction! Now please fucking explain to me what the hell you hope to achieve and why I was bound up and... put... here..." Y/N began to stand during her outburst, but her voice only got progressively more weak by the time she got to her feet and had come to a frightening realization. 

Yes, she’d told her therapist in great detail all about her dreams, but how could they have found fifteen people who were exact replicas of the Dwarves, Gandalf, and Bilbo? And more importantly, the therapist had never suggested a “live reenactment” as means to cope or expel the dream cycle and doing this without Y/N’s permission would have been illegal, so that narrowed it down to being another vivid dream or… it was all real.

She gulped.

"She got a mouth on 'er, don't she?" 

_ Oh boy. _

"Is she mad, ya think?"

_ Oh boy. _

"The lass's speech is quite odd..."

_Oh boy._

Something was definitely wrong and Y/N felt a feeling of sick surprise that this wasn't what she thought it was. If this _ was _real, how did she get here? What was she doing before she blacked out? She tried to think back to her earliest memories, but they were foggy and fragmented. Y/N recalled that she was at home and then outside -- was she out running errands? It was hot out, that much she knew for sure. Her head seemed to split in half when she tried to remember even the smallest detail of memories and her eyes squeezed shut in pain. The last thing she remembered was Bilbo running out of his house with the contract in hand and then... something... something important... And cue the headache. She peeked one eye open only when she was being addressed.

"I assure you, lass, we did not kidnap you! And there were no bindings done, we just wrapped you in a blanket to dry ya off. You've had quite a literal shock, and..." Balin stepped in slowly, raising his hands submissively as she drowned his voice out. 

Thorin eyed Y/N carefully and immediately noticed her change in expression, watching as her eyes seemed to register something before turning fearful. This was not good. While he was thinking of something to say as he waited for Balin to continue, he about rolled his eyes as his men jumped in with less than helpful outbursts, as if they would be even remotely calming.

"You fell from the sky!" Ori blurted.

"Took a mighty fall on the way down, too. What with boppin' your noggin', n' all," Bofur added, tapping his pipe on his hat for emphasis.

"Of course she's tall! She's a human," Oin joined in before turning to the girl and looking pleased. "We cleaned ya up though, yer fine. No trauma to your wee head. And don't worry about yer arms, they will heal in no time."

Y/N looked at her hands and arms to see what he was referring to, wondering how long she's been shivering. Taking a couple breaths, she finally saw all the cuts and scrapes covering various areas of her skin and poked them. They stung. Great. Not only was she potentially insane -- or dreaming and/or suffering amnesia -- but now she was injured. _ Injured!_ How did this happen?

Y/N continued to battle her conflicting emotions. Her body was racked with an overwhelming internal tug of war as she tried not to hyperventilate from this madness. 

This had to be a dream. It just had to be. In the past when she had time to reminisce on the recurring dream during her waking hours, Y/N had often daydreamed and fantasized of joining this ragtag bunch on their adventures since they looked like so much fun and she wanted to keep them safe so things turned out more pleasant and happy -- and if anything, to stop her from waking up in tears after the Battle of the Five Armies occurred. She had resorted to many variations of what she would have them do differently to acquiesce her desires for bringing them back and to partake on more... raunchy desires. And now, here she was in Bilbo's house surrounded by those very characters.

Seems that she’d finally gotten her wish. Her mind was finally allowing her to participate. But somehow, the reality of it wasn't turning out to be a fun experience at all... Not when it involved her sense of realism to distort and meld into what she knew to be true and what was right in front of her where she could see it, hear it, smell it, and feel it. 

A prominent, innate piece of knowledge that she refused to entertain any further than necessary was that this was not a dream. She hastily shut out _that_ ridiculous voice.

As the characters began talking at her, not to her, she had to hold her hand up to silence them so she could gather her thoughts, "Be quiet. I need a minute..."

And so, Y/N stood there with all eyes on her watching her pace in front of the fireplace deep in thought. Her brows furrowed as her brain racked with plausible reasons for what was going on. The fact that this was real couldn't even be considered a concept. This sort of shit just didn't happen. 

_ You sure about that? _ Her gut whispered.

But how could she be sure this wasn't just another vivid dream? She'd have to put it to the test. Put _ them _ to the test. And if this truly was a dream... _ Then that's acceptable, and I don't want to wake up_, Y/N thought simply. _ But I have to be sure. _

Her stare locked onto Thorin's before she knelt down in front of him. He was only 4'10” to her 5'4” stature, she noted absentmindedly. So the likelihood of her therapist finding someone of that size and who happens to look just like him from her dreams was... disconcerting to say the least, but impossible to boot. And touching any of them might rouse her to waking, or at the very least have a numbing sensation that usually took place whenever she was dreaming so that she wouldn’t physically feel anything. And if that was the case, that’d be one to two points towards Team Dream. 

She proceeded to poke and grab at Thorin’s face and clothing, earning her some gasps and snickers from the lads in the back. Thorin flinched away at the sudden inappropriate touching and firmly grabbed at her wrists to stop her before she could even think about touching his beard.

"That is enough! You are unstable right now, perhaps you should sit back down..." his voice died when he saw the look in her eyes when she observed his hands. Thinking he overstepped his bounds by grabbing at her even though she did it first, he quickly released them from his hold, but she clutched back on as if her life depended on it.

"Please, I have to be sure..." she pleaded meekly.

He didn't jerk away this time, only warily observed what she would do next. Y/N turned his large hand over in her tiny ones slowly, as if she were admiring every detail; squeezing and pulling at his palm and fingers as if she were trying to pull his skin off, bringing it close to her face where his finger prints and veins were made visible, fingers grazing over his rings; he could feel her cool breath on his skin. Thorin looked over his shoulder to the group, confused by her odd behavior and not knowing what to do about it. Gandalf and Balin merely shrugged. They were just as confused as he was if not slightly amused at the same time.

"I don't believe this... You're real? You can't be, I don't believe it, this can't be happening. Okay. Okay, well, at least you're still alive," she whispered, capturing his attention again. That was an odd choice of words from this equally odd stranger. But odder still were the words that followed, which were directed towards his nephews: "Good, and so are you."

They joined Thorin's side on his right. Kili seemed lost but answered, "Last I checked." Fili looked on cautiously but his gaze softened when she smiled at him. "How do you know of our names? What else do you know?" Thorin questioned more harshly than he intended as he yanked back his hand.

"Thorin..." Balin scolded when she curled in on herself at the tone in his voice.

Gandalf's brows furrowed as he observed everything from the sidelines. He had questions he intended to ask, but decided to watch what played out in front of him first. 

"Seriously, though. You're not messing with me, are you?" Y/N asked desperately, looking around at everyone to gauge their responses. If this was an elaborate hoax, they were doing a damned good job at it. Thorin’s hand and arm felt way too realistic for comfort. It felt like actual skin and muscle there! Even his veins had a pulse in them that was too real than anything she had ever touched in dreamland. Y/N tried to wake herself as a last resort with no success, then by willing objects in the room to change or move around like she could do during lucid dreaming but when nothing was working, she had to arrive at the possibility that perhaps this dream she had been having wasn’t a dream after all. 

What if it was a vision of an alternate reality? Or a fantasy realm? She shook her head to rid herself from those thoughts. 

"Is this some cruel, sick joke?" Y/N continued through their silence and pitying looks. She wanted them to stop looking at her like that. It was not helping the fact that she felt like she was going completely bonkers.

"There, now. Nobody's jokin' with ya."

Balin. Good-natured, kindly-old-man Balin looking just as she remembered in the numerous times she's dreamed of him pulled up a chair near the fireplace and patted the top of it as a clear invitation for her to sit. "Why don't we fix ya something to eat. It's clear that we're all mighty confused and have a few questions for one another, but it best not be done on an empty stomach! Sit, lass. Go on," he encouraged patiently.

Feeling overwhelmed and confounded with denial as she bobbed between her two theories, Y/N had no choice but to obey. She plopped down into the small chair and stared at her shoes. Her wet shoes. She had just noticed that her hair was also wet. This brought new questions... She uttered a whimper as she distinctly felt the coldness of the damped footwear seeping into her skin and bones.

"Now then," Balin continued. "What's your name, lassie?"

"Y/N."

"Very nice to meet you, Lady Y/N. I'm Balin, and we aren't going to harm ya, we just want to understand." He affectionately patted her clasped hands to add to the soft tone in his voice. He spoke to her like a grandfather soothing a scared child and for that, she was appreciative. She could use some gentility right about now. 'How did I get here?' and 'What the hell is going on?' Were now officially the questions of the year.

"I'll get her a plate," Fili offered quietly. "I'll go, too!" Kili chimed in, following his brother out.

After they took off to scavenge whatever was left over from their feast earlier that evening, Balin rose to speak in a hushed whisper to Thorin, "Be gentle with the lass or you won't get anywhere with her." Then to the others who were surrounding her in the chair, "Back up, lads! Give her some air!"

Thorin pulled up a chair opposite from her and sat down, trying to think of the best approach to ask his questions as he waited for his nephews to return with food. Thorin also let his eyes roam over her figure, taking note of her behavior while he remained on high alert. She was jumpy, confused, and afraid. Depending on the person, those emotions could be a deadly combo. Yet somehow he found that he trusted she was safe. Unstable and possibly mad, but safe. While in her presence, he felt a sort of indistinguishable emotion that he couldn't quite place. It made him all the more wary.

It was at that time that Bilbo made a reappearance and he very timidly peeked his head around to sneak a look at her. Thorin ignored him, his focus was on the girl.

"Do you think she'll be all right?" Bilbo asked Gandalf, the closest person to him. Gandalf's gaze was also fixated on this otherworldly woman, but he indulged Bilbo. 

"Her mind is very fragile at this time. It is strange that she knows who we are, yet seems to believe that we are not real people. It could be a side effect from how she arrived or perhaps her traveling through the realms has altered her concept of reality to become rather... askew," came the wizard's answer.

Bilbo raised his eyebrows and looked over to the woman. Her color was paled as if she were sick and her eyes stared unseeing at her feet. His kind heart felt for her again. He knows he would have felt that he was going mad if he were to wake up in a strange land on top of being surrounded by folks he didn't know. It was bad enough that his house was filled with unannounced Dwarves he hadn't met before. He could only imagine what thoughts were flowing through the poor woman's mind and he wanted to help in some way, but he just didn't know how. Bilbo stuck around attentively just in case he could offer his services.

"This was all that was left," Fili returned holding out a plate with a small block of cheese, a slice of bread, and a few tomatoes. Y/N hadn't heard him. Kili looked to his brother before leaning down to her eye level.

"My lady?"

Fili and Kili exchanged another look and Kili, very carefully, placed a hand on her shoulder. 

"Hmm?" Y/N's head jolted up, meeting his concerned brown eyes. He offered her his best smile.

"Ah, there you are! Here, eat this, it'll give you strength."

"Oh." Y/N mechanically accepted the plate Fili made and Kili continued to coax her into eating, offering praise when she did.

She only managed to eat the bread and some of the cheese, but otherwise did not have any further appetite. She did accept the water Kili held out to her, however, and chugged it down feverishly.

"Better?" Fili smiled. Even though her shock had deprived her of tasting anything she ate, she nodded, returning with a small smile of her own when he retrieved the plate from her.

"Miss Y/N? Might I offer you a hot cup of tea?" Y/N turned to look at Bilbo and couldn't help but smile at his nervous demeanor, he was hesitant around her but still determined to be a good host. She always liked him. 

"If you wouldn't mind, thank you."

"Of course! I'll only be a moment." Pleased that he could finally contribute, Bilbo happily shuffled away to the kitchen with purpose.

Y/N looked over to Thorin who had been silently watching over the whole interaction and she felt her face flush. He truly was a gorgeous, majestic specimen when he had his eyes locked intently on her every move. He was so unfathomably regal and could sit in the most dingiest chair in the world and still end up looking like a mighty king just by sitting in it. Even though she was taller than he was, she felt so small in his presence. 

As much as her rational mind tried to argue otherwise, it was becoming more obvious that Y/N had landed in another world. A world she'd only ever dreamed of in the company of those whose fate she was only too aware with ominous insight. Y/N swallowed nervously, still trying to think up any logical reasoning to explain that away but coming up empty.

Dream or not, she decided to just play along and get it over with. Hell, maybe she _ was _ crazy. _ Fine, there are worse things to be crazy about, _Y/N thought. She could have ended up anywhere and of all possible alternate realities to wake up in, Middle Earth didn't seem so bad if she was surrounded by hot dudes. Plus, she basically knew the land for having dreamed of it so many times. 

What could possibly happen that she hadn’t seen already?

"So," Y/N began once Bilbo returned with a hot cup of tea. "What did you want to know?"


	2. Dare To Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not willing to delay the quest, Thorin remains wary of Y/N's sudden appearance and allows her to join them, for now. In order to keep her sanity in tact, Y/N is clinging on to the idea that she's dreaming. As such, what could possibly go wrong? Well, when a stranger appears to her in private, her sense of reality gets rattled -- again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder that this series is meant to be a slowburn, so these first few chapters may be a bit boring in terms of romance, conflict, juicy bits, etc., but I’ll be throwing in some flirting here and there to help plant those budding seeds of love. The chapters will eventually start to sift between different characters’ points of view.

Over the course of the following hour of talking to Y/N, the Company only garnered more questions than answers. But what was concluded collectively from the conversation was that Y/N was indeed from another world and aside from being a bit out of sorts from her means of travel and a little loopy in the aftermath of it, she wasn’t a loon. Now that they were past that, the more prominent, puzzling matter at hand was how she happened to know everyone by name in addition -- and more importantly -- to their quest. And when confronted on how she came to know of those things, Y/N had claimed to have dreamt them and hold "seeing" abilities which could therefore alert them of all the perils that they would face further on their journey as they neared them.

She didn't divulge any details about what dangers lie ahead, however, only cautiously stated, "I guess I'm here to keep you safe and guide you on your way." They had no idea that the reason for this was because she obviously couldn't tell them that she still harbored suspicions that this was all a figment of her imagination, another epic dream. She had a hunch that they probably already thought she was crazy, and admitting her true thoughts was not a can of worms she intended to open for a multitude of reasons.

Even so, this Seer From the Stars was a well-accepted concept among Thorin’s group but only himself and a scarce few held fast to their suspicions and wariness at the unknown she presented. 

"That must be what those markings stipulated; the intentions of why she was brought forth to Middle Earth," Gandalf exclaimed, though still a little scrupulous of the vagueness in her answers, himself.

"Ah, yes. That has to be it!" Others agreed, placated to have a theory they all agreed on that made sense to them and seemed to fit into her predicament.

“She must have been sent by the Maker himself! Especially if she bears his markings like you said.” Came another excited suggestion.

Y/N didn't understand what they meant when they asked about the runes in her arms, much to Thorin's disappointment. Worse still, she had no knowledge of their existence at all and they still had yet to make a reappearance. This meant that they truly had no choice but to bring her if they ever hoped to find answers about them and the real reason why she was brought to them.

Y/N in turn had asked them questions as well, such as: How did I get here? Is this/are you real? Am I going to die here? Why am I wet?

Thorin and the others did their best to answer her questions as honestly as they could. They told her in great detail how they saw her arrive and that she was wet when they found her, assured her that everything here was in fact real. Upon her own odd request, she was reluctantly allowed to touch and poke at a variety of objects as an odd method of “proof”, and Thorin vowed that they would all do what they could to ensure her safety if she decided to come along, but could not promise anything.

It was actually Gandalf who proposed they invite her to join them on their quest and Thorin felt he had no choice but to accept it even though he wasn't entirely sold on the idea; the rest of the Company was on board, certain that her arrival held a deeper meaning that even their superstitious natures could not ignore.

Thorin wanted to get to the bottom of the Khuzdul on her arms more than anything else, but having a sensitive, frazzled woman was a hindrance he was not prepared for. Seer abilities or not, she clearly had no experience in combat and otherwise held little to no use to them despite being here to "safely guide them on their way.'' Preposterous. The sooner he found the answers to his questions, the sooner he could decide if this Y/N was worth keeping. But for now, he begrudgingly trusted in Gandalf.

"I think the lassie's cheese slid off her cracker," Oin commented to the group once they finally got some air from the situation.

Y/N had fallen asleep in the armchair by the fire after their lengthy conversation, and the men took that time to talk freely amongst themselves before they turned in for the night. If it wasn't for Bofur and his peculiar way with words and off collar jokes, Y/N would never have stopped requesting reassurance on whether or not they were real -- which was starting to grind everyone's gears. He seemed to know just what to say to put a stop to those repetitive questions by telling one of his many outlandish stories and for the first time ever, they heard her laugh. It was actually quite a pleasant sound, and it didn't sound nearly as nutty as they would have assumed. After that, she seemed to get better and lighter in mood and her scared, confused demeanor melted away into fatigue. Thankfully, the lass appeared to be sane after all.

"Be fair, she's not from Middle Earth. It would be strange if she _ wasn't _disoriented. Can't say I blame her," Fili defended. Kili, Dori, and Bifur slept close by while Ori busied himself by knitting.

"Aye, the lass isn't mad. I would know," Bofur added matter-of-factly, smiling fondly at her sleeping form. He was still proud at being the first to get her to laugh when everyone else’s attempts at cheering her up failed.

"I must confess," Gandalf added. "I have never seen nor heard anything like this happen in the history of Middle Earth before. Not even during the First Age. Sure, we know there are other realms beyond our own, but the amount of power and magic involved in traveling to and from another world is far greater than any being in our world can conjure. In fact, the only force capable of such power would be..." Gandalf allowed the question to linger, silently encouraging the group to finish his thought or if anything to acknowledge the seriousness it presented.

It was Dwalin who answered, and when he did, a chill ran through him. "A god." 

Gandalf nodded sagely, pleased he wasn't the only one considering that.

"Ya sure we should take her along?" Gloin asked Thorin. It was obvious he was also not convinced that it was wise to do so, despite Gandalf's reasoning and logic and the answers Y/N provided. Gloin was mainly hesitant with all the unknowns about the woman, but was more so concerned with her fragile state of mind and whether or not she'd be able to shake it. Females were sacred in their culture, rare. Gloin had a wife he had to leave back home that he cared for deeply -- she would never be allowed on a quest such as this (and his lady could definitely handle herself) and this human woman didn't appear to have what it took for the dangers that awaited them. He worried for her.

"Balin is already working on her contract, he and I will both be signing it. If she accepts, then it is done and I support the decision." Thorin replied simply. Balin was scribbling diligently on the contract, needing to make minor adjustments to it as it differed ever so slightly from that of Bilbo's, which was still left on the table for him to sign.

Thorin's eyes swept over the woman and her strange attire. She wore what appeared to be black, skin-tight night trousers -- _ trousers! _ \-- cut off by her calves, odd footwear he’d never seen before, and a long-sleeved purple tunic that dipped shy of the top of her collarbone. What kind of world did she come from to allow women to expose so much skin like this? As such, she was not dressed for the elements at all and would need to borrow items from his men until they found a place to get her gear of her own. He could always dock that part of her share of treasure. Thorin gave a deep, troubled sigh that went unnoticed by everyone except his best friend and he received a hard clap on his shoulder from the fellow.

"Best not trouble y'self with the lass just yet. She may be an omen of good fortune fer us," Dwalin nodded in her general direction. "I’m suspicious, too, but let's trust in what Gandalf said and give 'er a chance. There's no mistakin' that she's important somehow and havin' a Seer would be help we can put teh use. I am concerned with her gentility, though… keepin’ watch over her may slow us down."

Thorin didn’t appear to be consoled or convinced of his statement, but he totally agreed on her slowing them down. Not to mention how distracting she would be. 

"Aye," Fili concurred. "I will volunteer to keep watch over her, if you'd like. Make sure she doesn't start trouble."

Dwalin snorted. "Hah, says the Prince of Trouble, himself." The warrior knew Fili probably took a fancy to the human maid. Even he couldn't deny her subtle yet charming physical attributes. She wasn't bad. For a human...

"You're mistaking me for my brother, Mister Dwalin." Fili retorted before turning to his uncle and standing tall, "I'll watch over her and I promise to keep her safe; you can entrust her into my care, Uncle."

Dwalin made an approving sound and pointed to him, “She’ll be _ your _responsibility.”

Thorin only grunted in response. It was as close to a verbal agreement that he was willing to give them. He returned to his thoughts as he mentally prepared himself for the trials they were all to face before sleep overtook him and he drifted off. As far as prayers went, it never occurred to Thorin that his wish for safety and success while staring into the fire as he sung the song of his people had been answered almost immediately in the form of a human woman.

* * *

"This was supposed to be Bilbo's pony, but I suppose she's yers now," Bofur smiled, patting the beast on the neck and positioning the reins for Y/N. "M'lady," he dipped his hands low to offer her a boost, flashing her a cheeky grin in the process.

"Thanks." 

Y/N steadily eased herself on the pony's back, not quite accustomed to riding or mounting but figured she was about to get more than her fair share of experience. She was thankful that she wasn't too large to fit on the poor thing. Her feet did dangle a few inches off the ground, but for the most part the pony accepted her weight with no issue; she was just light enough not to cause any harm to the gentle animal.

Thorin walked by on his pony to join Gandalf at the front, giving Y/N a the smallest hint of a curt, cordial nod of his head in passing that she returned shyly. 

As they started off, Y/N adjusted the clothing she adopted from the group. She sported hand-me-downs from almost everyone and it was all ill-fitted except for her shoes that she insisted on keeping (she thanked the gods she had on comfy sneakers) and the fingerless gloves that Ori knitted especially for her the night prior so she could keep her hands warm.

When Y/N awoke that morning, or more specifically, at the asscrack of dawn, she expected to wake up in her bed where she would laugh off that vivid-as-all-hell dream that she couldn't wait to tell everyone about and then settle back into some semblance of normalcy. But no, she awoke in the same chair she fell asleep in to a gruff, crude voice in her ear ordering everyone to get up.

"Time to go, lass! Up and at 'em!" Bofur gently shook her to wake fully. Looks like this dream was still ongoing.

There wasn't any food left in Bilbo's house and Y/N's stomach growled angrily in protest and she silently kicked herself for not eating more last night when she had the chance. That food was long gone now, she figured. "Oi, I thought that was Bombur," Bofur laughed when he overheard the stomach rumble and stretched his arms to aid on a mighty yawn. Y/N to flushed in embarrassment.

"I regret not eating more last night when I had the chance," she admitted sheepishly.

"I wish you coulda popped in earlier. We had a grand feast, we did! Ale, pork, potatoes, ale, fluffy warm biscuits, ale, cheese..." He began going on and on about all the mouthwatering foods she missed out on and Y/N regretted saying anything about it. She could practically feel her stomach glaring at her and if Bofur didn't shut the hell up--

Fili nonchalantly dropped a biscuit into her lap as he passed by and offered her a quick wink as he and the rest of the Dwarves got ready, taking turns gearing up and going to the bathroom and preparing their packs in a very quiet, efficient hustle and bustle. Kili wasn't far behind, throwing her the same cheese she didn't finish last night into her lap. He, too, flashed her a quick wink and charming smile in passing.

"Oi! What about my breakfast?" Bofur complained lightheartedly, though kindly refusing Y/N's offer for sharing as he got ready.

Balin approached her while she was in the middle of greedily scarfing down the food and he chuckled at the crumbs that fell from her lips. "Mornin', Lady Y/N! Here's your contract to join the Company of Thorin Oakenshield. In summation, it goes over your share of the treasure, funeral arrangements, the dangers involved, additional disclaimers, and the like. Best look over it now before we start off--" But she had snatched it up, still chomping away, and signed the thing under Thorin's and Balin's signatures without reading a word of it. Hell, if she was still dreaming or whatever, might as well go hard or go home. She handed it back into Balin's stunned hands.

"You didn't read it--"

"I know what I'm getting myself into and I trust you all," she smiled. "Just keep me safe and I'll do my part to keep you guys safe, too." Balin quirked a brow and glanced at her signature and fumbled a bit before warmly welcoming her into the fold. Then one by one, each of the members started handing her things for her to change into, most of which were Ori's since he was the smallest among them. She looked at her old clothes, still cold and wet from the mysterious water and decided to pack them to take with her. And after Y/N relieved herself in Bilbo's now unsightly bathroom that has definitely seen better days, she quickly grabbed an item that she knew Bilbo would be needing later on. Soon after, everyone was ready to leave and finally they all set off. 

Gandalf led the way as a few others single filed behind him. Ori trailed behind Y/N, with Bofur in front of her, and the Durin brothers at her side.

It didn't take long before the Company resounded in a round of "I knew its" at Bilbo not coming with them and in her mind, Y/N recalled all the events that were going to go down moving forward based on her memory of the most recent dream she had of them involving Bilbo running at high speed to catch up with them with his contract in hand. Already the wagers were starting, and it was funny getting a chance to listen in to the lot bicker since those details were never divulged to her in her dreams. 

"Psst! Hey, lass," Bofur whispered over his shoulder as he slowed his pony next to hers. "Do you know if Bilbo will come?"

"Oi!" Kili yelled so all could hear. "No cheating! Y/N, don't you tell him anything!" And then in a lower voice, "Unless you tell me, too. He isn't coming, is he?"

"My lips are sealed," she replied. 

Kili gave a pout and refocused ahead of him, mumbling something about her probably not knowing anyway while his pony moved ahead to proclaim his side of the betting pool. Y/N quickly caught Bofur's attention before he left and mouthed, "Yes," and nodding in confirmation to him. He grinned and tipped his hat in thanks before placing his bet but then she caught Fili staring at her with a knowing look and a raised eyebrow, letting her know that he saw the whole thing. Her eyes widened but then she feigned an innocent smile and he laughed and shook his head.

She looked behind her at Ori to see if he saw, too, and his guilty look was plastered all over his face. "Don't worry, I won't tell!" He stuttered quickly. Not worried about him ratting her out, she merely smiled gratefully and bowed her head in thanks. 

"So," she began loudly for all of them to hear while they made their way out of the Shire. "If Bilbo _ does _happen to show up, can his pony handle the weight of both of us on it or will I need to walk?" Based on how often this dream occured, she knew there was one other pony available, however, its use was intended solely for their camp gear and extra supplies.

"These ponies can handle more than ye think," Dwalin retorted from near the front. "He’s not comin', though, lassie." 

More words were exchanged within the group based on which side of the bet they were on.

"Shame," Y/N sighed, sharing a secret smile with Bofur.

The guys all continued placing their bets and Ori cleared his throat and excused himself to replace where Fili was riding so his pony was now side by side with Y/N's.

"Excuse me, Miss Y/N, I hope you don't mind my asking, but how do your Seeing abilities work?"

Before she gave an answer, she quickly glanced around her but nobody was really looking except for the brothers, who seemed equally curious. "Is this about the betting?" she whispered, even though the bets had already been placed.

"No," he whispered back. "I was just wondering how you see things before they happen. Do you have a dream like you said? Or use any talismans, or do you just know?"

Ori looked so curious and innocent in asking that it made Y/N feel a little guilty for somewhat lying to them. Technically, she _ did _possess "outside knowledge", but that was only based on her prior sleep escapades, not because she possessed otherworldly abilities. But there's no way she could adequately explain that to them. Frankly, they probably wouldn't believe her even if she did, and a small shred of her was still clinging onto the belief that she was dreaming even now. 

"No, nothing special like that. I’ve just had a recurring dream. Now, I don't know about _ everything _that's going to go down, but there are both big and little details that stick in my memory. For example," she twisted her head to look behind them.

"I'm not sure when exactly -- but I guess soon enough -- Bilbo will come running right to us with the contract he signed. After he gets on a pony he'll sneeze and suddenly want us to stop and turn around because he forgot this." Y/N pulled out a handkerchief that she found lying around Bilbo's house, assuming it was the acclaimed handkerchief he was referring to during that one particular part of the dream.

Ori looked very intrigued at the details she provided and whipped his head behind him as if Bilbo would be running in at that exact moment. He turned back around and smiled at Y/N, excited to see the premonition unfold. Little did she know that Bofur overheard the exchange of words and was equally as curious to put her abilities to the test. He already instinctively knew he could trust her, but this would seal the deal.

Kili, another shameless eavesdropper, leaned over to whisper to Fili, "I wager what she says doesn't come to pass."

"Thanks for the extra gold, my brother." Fili whispered back, already having full confidence in Y/N.

Sure enough, a good while later in the morning, at the sound of Bilbo rushing after the Company pleading for them all to wait up for him, Y/N couldn't help but cackle triumphantly, turning to look behind her to see the Hobbit waving the signed contract in the air as he caught his breath just as she’d seen in her earlier dream. 

"About time!" Y/N chimed, greeting him with a large smile, which he kindly returned. After he gave his contract to Balin who declared that everything was in order, Bilbo was then hoisted up and dropped right in front of Y/N on the pony and she awkwardly scooted back to give him the reins. He didn't appear to know what to do with them any more than she did.

And then came the moment of truth: Bilbo huffed a bit before letting out a very unconvincing sneeze. Y/N smirked the whole time listening to him stutter about needing his handkerchief and that everyone needed to stop and turn around and then Y/N had the cloth at the ready, much to his surprise. The Durin brothers exchanged a look and Kili grumbled at Fili's outstretched hand before slapping a large coin bag into it. 

Impressed didn't come close to describe what Ori was feeling and all he could do was gape like a fish. "Just like you said..." he whispered more in awe to himself than her. She still gave him a wink regardless, missing the exchange of currency between the brothers. 

As per the bet results, coin bags were being thrown and passed all up and down the line. Y/N tuned out Gandalf and Bilbo's exchange of words, as she's heard it a million times already. She was jostled out of her thoughts by a shrill whistle directed at her. 

"Y/N, catch!"

Y/N fumbled and almost dropped what was tossed to her, while also practically falling off the pony in the process, making Bofur burst out in laughter and Bilbo to become even more flustered and nervous on the beast as he calmed her down by stroking and cooing her. Y/N held up the little leather pouch and looked to him questioningly. Bofur shrugged and replied that it was her share. Gandalf lifted an eyebrow at her, easily catching his winnings one handed. When Y/N opened the pouch, she marveled at the several silver pieces it contained before placing it in her pocket after Bofur refused being handed it back to him.

"You didn't have to do that," she noted shyly. It didn't feel right taking money that wasn't honestly earned, but at least she was thankful to have had some currency now. 

"Oh, aye, but it was only fair. You did give me the winnin' answer after all," he winked.

Y/N smiled innocently at Gandalf who gave her a disapproving stare which held the faintest glow of mischievousness and tutted. 

"Y/N, you knew I would come, too?" Bilbo asked from over his shoulder.

"I did, but even if I didn't see it happen already, I would have had faith in you anyway." She answered, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Ah, well… Thanks again for my handkerchief," he said. 

"Anytime."

* * *

Her dream only depicted specific scenes and events of the journey; there was plenty of conversations missed that Y/N had no knowledge of. It truly did play out like a fantasy epic film. 

With that said, the next few hours were a bombardment of questions coming at the woman from all sides after Gandalf had returned to his position to lead at the front of the line. The Dwarves eagerly asked her about herself and the world she came from and what it was like. They ate up her answers with hungry fascination, boggling at all the stark differences in cultural and societal norms in comparison to theirs. Y/N secretly retained her sense of denial for the whole thing: going between the theory of this shindig was either the most vivid dream she's ever had in her whole life or she was nuts. But she still willing to play along, even at the potential cost of her sanity. As far as she knew, there didn't appear to be any sense of danger lurking about. But you never know. 

Fili, Kili, and Bofur flanked her and remained close; quickly becoming open and friendly, making her feel welcome, much to Y/N's delight. Fili and Kili were breathtaking up close and personal and she hoped her face wasn't as red as it felt whenever they caught her staring. They truly were handsome pieces of work and to be showered with such attention and interest from men such as them, well, that was just ice cream to one’s self-esteem. She certainly wasn’t the apple of anyone’s eye back home. Thanks, brain, for keeping this dream interesting! 

For probably the thousandth time, Y/N flicked a strand of hair out of her face. No matter how many times she tried to get it out of the way, it would slowly but surely find it’s way back. 

"Everything all right over there?" Kili pointed.

Y/N mumbled an affirmative response, running her fingers through her long, messy ponytail and then tucking any additional stray hairs that framed her face behind her ears. She knew she looked unkempt; she never had a chance to look in a mirror at what the water did to her hair and she was almost scared to catch a glimpse of herself and what her rats nest must look like.

"My hair is just being stupid. Does it look bad?”

“Not particularly, but… why not just let it down or clip it back instead?” he replied earnestly. 

"I don't like having my hair in my face, so I prefer to just tie it in a ponty tail; it’s easier. Though, it still seems to have a mind of its own no matter what I do to it." As if to prove her point, she blew air on the straggler hair tickling the side of her cheek before frustratingly jerking her head to get it to stop. "It's gotten too long, though. Maybe I should just chop it off--"

A shrill "No!" ripped through the air and the Dwarves look positively mortified that she would even consider such a thing.

"You don't need to cut your pretty locks! Just braid it or clip it back if it's in the way! I have some to spare if you need any -- ow!” Kili’s beaming smile washed away when Fili kicked him with his boot. She could hear Bofur snickering from behind.

Quirking a brow, she replied, "So... what you're really saying is that my hair looks _ bad _the way it is now?"

"No, no! It's not bad, just odd. I mean, not odd in a _ bad _ way, it's different! A _ good _different, though! Uh… right, Fili?"

Fili only snorted, catching on to Y/N's teasing, while watching his brother fumble with his words and trying (and failing) to explain in a more "polite" way that he meant no offense. His face actually turned a shade of red during the process and Y/N thought it was as hilarious as it was adorable.

"Relax, Kili, I'm just kidding. I guess I could braid it, but I'm not very good at doing my own hair. It's like a wild beast that can't be tamed; just easier to tie it up this way," she shrugged. “But I appreciate your input.”

"Well, you can always find a lad to braid it for ya someday. I'm sure you'll have no trouble finding a willing suitor," Bofur interjected suggestively.

"Geez, no need to make it sound so sensual. Why would a guy want to braid my hair?" she laughed. Apparently, nobody else thought it was funny in the slightest. 

"Surely you’re joking?" Fili asked, checking to see if there was any hint of sarcasm.

"Why _ wouldn't _they? It looks so soft," Kili added, his eyes roamed down the long tail of hair that flopped over her shoulder.

Y/N looked from Fili, to Kili, to Bofur and back again; they all shared the same expression save for Bofur, who slowly smiled at her apparent ignorance before giving a cheeky wink. Bilbo didn't appear to understand either and was sure to voice his confusion. Balin was kind enough to shed some light on the situation.

"Y'see lass," he started, "in Dwarven culture, we very much pride ourselves with our beard and hair care. And when a lad tends to a maiden's hair it's considered to be a very intimate gesture and displays a desire to court. For us lads, it's one of the many honors we can bestow to the lady we fancy. We put a braid in their hair and they put a braid in ours, finished with a courting bead of our family line to let others know she's taken. It was a rather inappropriate remark on their behalf, but I’m sure they didn’t mean no harm--"

“We didn’t!” Kili confirmed quickly. 

"Oh..." Y/N blushed letting the information sink in as she realized that the compliment and proclamation of her attractiveness by three different Dwarves flew right over her head. Well, she was certainly flattered to know what they thought of her.

"Interesting..." Bilbo mused. "I've heard that beard care was very important to Dwarves, but I had no idea that it ran any deeper than that."

"Oh, aye!" Bofur concurred. "Our hair is one of many endowments we take pride in. But it ain't the only thing we're prideful of, especially when it comes to bedsport. We've got quite a mighty--" 

"Bofur! For Durin's sake, we have a _ lady _with us, watch that foul tongue of yours!" Dori scolded from up ahead.

"Hammer! I was goin' to say _ hammer, _ya big prune." Bofur defended.

Bilbo seemed to cave in on himself at the crudeness of the conversation and how quickly it had gone south. 

Having heard much worse and thus remaining unfazed, Y/N looked over to Fili who was adorned with many braids all expertly tied into his hair and she realized that she had no real way of knowing if he was in fact taken by someone or not. They surely never touched base on it in the many times she’d dreamed of him, so she was admittedly curious and happy to finally put that mystery to rest.

"So, are those what courting braids look like?" she pointed to Fili. Kili bellowed in response, his head rearing back as he gasped for air.

Fili ignored him, "These aren't courting braids, those are hung from your beard or the side of your face. It’s a very intricate pattern from this plait." He then cleared his throat upon hearing the chuckles of his brother and Bofur and offered Y/N one of his many sweet smiles. "I've braided these myself. Do you like them?" He angled his face to the side to strike a charming pose and smirked at her when she gandered thoughtfully. 

Y/N returned a lopsided smirk. "They suit you. Those are my favorite," she indicated his mustache braids by pointing to her own lips and when he smiled proudly, they drew high into his cheeks to reveal hearty dimples. Y/N blushed and smiled back before twisting around to the front once Gloin started to boast about the braids his wife did for him, earning a collective groan from the Company.

"Hah! You wanna see _ real _braids? Look here, Lady Y/N--" he pulled his pony closer and parted the Durin brothers like the red sea as if they wanted to be nowhere near him "--my wife braided me this one before I left. And she made me this bead right here as our anniversary gift, and this one here, well, that's a fun tale! Way back when we were first courtin'..."

And then Gloin was off.

"Oh Mahal, here we go again with that blasted bead!" Nori whined. Gloin continued on with the story of his wife despite all grunts and groans in protest, and Y/N glanced around the Company to see many eye rolls and attempts at engaging in their own private conversations to get out of hearing the story which likely has been told thousands times over. But Gloin paid them no mind.

The only ones who were new to the story were Bilbo and Y/N, which was the exact spot Gloin saddled up beside so he could show them specifically which braids and beads pertained to the story. He stopped only when Thorin announced it was time for a bathroom break (which was roughly an hour or more later) and then excused himself to join his kin up ahead. Y/N let out a sigh she didn't realize she was keeping in.

"Goodness, I thought he would never stop," Bilbo whispered to Y/N over his shoulder. The poor Hobbit looked completely exhausted solely from listening; nodding and humming along whenever appropriate.

"The power of love is not a force to be trifled with," Y/N giggled back, though she was secretly glad Gloin finally stopped as well. It was really sweet at how enamored the character was with his wife after all the years they've been together. He proudly showed them his locket that he kept of his family, the one that the Mirkwood elves would later see further down the quest. Gimli was absolutely adorable as a Dwarfling. Based on Gloin's showering praise of affection for his love, it definitely appeared to be true when Dwarves found their One, as Gloin explained, they truly yearned and loved no other. They were each a part of one whole. It was actually a pretty sweet concept.

Bilbo brought their pony to a bumpy halt and Y/N slid off with a grunt of pain she didn't expect to have this early on. Her thighs were on fire and she almost crumbled to her knees when she landed on her feet. Bilbo experienced some discomfort as well, but he shook it off as he joined the men in the bushes further down the way.

"Y'all right there, lass?" Bofur chortled, sliding off his pony with ease, only managing a quirky back crack by thrusting his hips out. She waved him away and massaged her thighs, glaring at the laughing pair of brothers when they turned to look at her. Making a big show at how not in pain they were.

Bofur continued, "Hope you don't get stuck on the ground. You need a hand squattin' down or comin' back up?"

"Oh, shut up!" She waddled off to get some privacy to do her business and left the laughter behind. 

Thus far, she was getting some serious hands-on learning on the Company's overall character. From what she already knew from her constant dreams, her affections for them only grew now that she was here speaking to them in person, teasing and all. They were all a charming bunch, that's for sure. _ Gotta be careful with that, _ she thought while fumbling with her slightly oversized trousers. _ If this all turns out to be a figment of your imagination, you'll feel like a damn fool if you catch feelings for any of 'em when you wake up. _

Y/N did a quick scan of her surroundings and found a suitable place behind some shrubs to do her business that was close enough within earshot of the Company but well out of view from prying eyes and very tentatively dropped her borrowed pair of trousers to squat -- wincing at the pain. Y/N had to admit it was quite difficult to force her already full bladder to release in this position since she's been trained since toddlerhood to sit on a toilet. She was struggling out here, and was trying desperately to piss before anyone came looking for her.

But try as she might, her stubborn bladder refused.

"Oh my god! Why is this so hard to do in a friggin’ dream? Just pee already!" she hissed at herself. 

There was no telling when the next break would be, and she knew for a fact that they would not stop again until it was time to camp for the night, so if she had to pee later, that was just tough cookies for her. At long last, she finally managed to do her business when suddenly, the air around her began to shift and it caused her hairs to stand on end. There was static in the air and then a voice. Well, she could have sworn she heard a voice approaching her... Y/N's head snapped up and looked around, suddenly very suspicious and on the lookout for her traveling companions. Y/N glared in the direction she thought it was coming from. "Hey, can't a lady get some privacy? Go away!"

She heard a few responses a good distance away, none of which sounded like what she thought she heard, but hoped there weren't any peeping toms skulking about while she was in such a vulnerable state.

That imperceptible voice persisted urgently. It almost seemed to be a whisper among the trees as the wind blew by. Her ears locked on and focused on it without her trying. The sound of her urine seemed to become louder and intensify, morphing into the sound of running water, stirring an interesting sensation within her that she couldn't quite place, but it made her feel sad and scared. She was remembering something... Something about water. Not knowing how much time had passed, Y/N finally snapped out of it and looked to see a figure a few yards ahead of her and she squealed in shock, jolting her out of that hypnotic state as a headache slammed into her the moment she looked into its eyes.

Something was terribly wrong, and in the time it took the girl to become very frightened, she would soon learn that the worst was yet to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's boring. I know. These first few chapters are all about getting Y/N established with her new setting and the group and having the group grow accustomed to her. The plot will thicken in due time, as will the romance!


	3. The Man In the Trees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Due to a visit from a stranger, Y/N finally arrives at the realization that this is not a dream, but it came at the cost of how the others may start viewing her moving forward. She gains some friends on her side but there's no telling what Thorin's decree will be to her presence in the long run.

"Who are-- ow, shit!" she yelped. Peeking one eye open, the figure revealed to be, yup, definitely a man but he didn't appear to be a human, even though he resembled one. He belonged to this realm somehow. She didn't know how she knew that, but it came as innate knowledge to her. Well, it must have been one of those phenomenons during dreams-- 

Another pinch of a headache had her closing her eyes in agony and she took heaping breaths through the pain. Something felt wrong about this. 

"Y/N?" Bilbo's voice called. "Miss Y/N! They're getting ready to leave! Are you all right?"

As the headache subsided, Y/N looked over to where the figure stood only to find him gone. For whatever reason, she couldn't remember what he looked like. Even though she had just seen him. It’s happened to her before in other dreams, but only when she woke up… never during. She let out a small groan at the feel of her brain hitting against her skull. _ That was weird... _ she thought. _ Where are these headaches coming from? _

"Where is she?!" Another concerned voice asked; sounded like Fili.

"Guess she had problems squattin' after all!" That laughing voice probably belonged to Kili and she recognized the other chuckles to Bofur.

"I'm right here..." she growled, fumbling with her trousers once she finally finished.

"I don't know! I could have sworn I saw her go this way."

"Oh Ma_hal!_"

All at once, the sound of running and bushes swooshing from being waded through drew nearer and nearer as did their semi-hushed voices. "Y/N! Y'all right, lass? Where are you?"

"I think I see 'er."

"H-hey, hey! I'm right here! Relax, let me get my pants back on, Christ... _ What're you doing!? _ Get the hell out of here!" Y/N screamed, desperately trying to cover herself when several Dwarves got closer than comfort. Faces turned red before swiveling around and away to give her privacy.

"Mahal, woman! Next time _ answer _before we waste time lookin' fer you! Hurry up, we're leavin'!" Dwalin's gruff voice scolded.

Y/N sauntered out shortly after, giving everyone a glare as she pointedly adjusted the belt around her waist with a few tugs and pulls. Bilbo awkwardly scratched the back of his neck and avoided her eyes, joining her side as she walked by.

"I am so terribly sorry... when you didn't answer, I got very worried. I thought maybe something had happened."

"Don't worry about it. It's bad enough some creeper was there staring at me. Never did see _ who_." Y/N was still irked about that, throwing an accusing stare at anyone who locked eyes with her but only returned with quirked eyebrows. She couldn't remember who she saw, she only knew that it was male.

"Someone was watching you?" He repeated the question to himself, warily looking over his shoulder, but he didn't have a chance to question her further.

As the small group neared the ponies and the Company, Thorin had his own steely stare locked and ready. "How nice of you to join us, Lady Y/N. Are you ready to proceed?" As if they had been waiting long.

"Sorry, it wasn't my intention to delay," she said through gritted teeth, preparing to hop back onto Bilbo's pony.

"Ride with someone else for a while," Thorin commanded. "It shall give the ponies time to rest in between stops."

_ Oooh, is that an invitation? _Y/N thought with a smirk, knowing damn well that it wasn't given his already shitty attitude towards her, but couldn't help the thought from forming nonetheless. To be honest, Thorin had been nothing but distrustful of her from the start when he had no right to be, and it was rubbing her the wrong way. And before Y/N had a chance to comment, a Dwarf she least expected to be so willing in offering his pony stepped forward. 

"She can ride with me."

Given his size, Y/N wasn't so sure about that and her eyes flicked between Dwalin and his pony. He crossed his arms over the massive expanse of a chest in an impatient huff. "Is there a problem?" he asked.

"No, I'm just... is your pony going to be okay with both of our weight?"

"I told ya, these ponies can handle more than ye think, now hop on." 

Unlike Bofur, Dwalin hopped on first and held out his arm so he could help to hoist her up behind him and he did so with unthinkable ease by practically throwing her back there as if she were luggage.

Even though he was covered in many layers of clothing and had his weapons strapped to his back, she could feel the hard power of his body as it lightly tapped against her within the movement the pony made as it was urged forward. Y/N looked over the faded ink on Dwalin's head and then down over his shoulder towards at his thick, tattooed arms as his armored hands clutched the reins. She took note of the significant difference in size they were in comparison to her tiny arms.

_ This feels so real… but it can’t be, can it _? Y/N kept repeating in her head. Though she wasn't so sure anymore, not after the horrible headaches that left a lingering numbness behind.

If Dwalin was a tree, she was nothing more than a twig -- and that wasn't even considering the height difference. Not so surprisingly, it wasn't as easy to open up and be herself around him as it was with Fili, Kili, Bofur, Ori and Bilbo. Especially since he rode so close behind Thorin and Gandalf, who probably wouldn't appreciate any of her idle chatter amidst their "serious" discussions silence. It wasn't that she felt Dwalin was some hard, stoic brute -- he was actually pretty sweet from what she already knew of him -- but she couldn’t help but feel very intimidated by his gruff exterior. Especially after he almost caught her with her pants down earlier.

Y/N could hear Bofur humming a cheerful tune from the back and the faint sound of Bilbo's flustered protests at being teased by the others and wished she could have ridden with somebody else. She sighed deeply, staring out into the endless expanse of the road they traveled on. Nothing but a breathtaking array of trees and foliage with a winding dirt trail. The horizon of the sky was just out of reach and changing in color as the day dragged on through many twists and turns. The air here was so pure and different from home and under normal circumstances, all these things would have been a welcome indulgence, but without the distraction of conversation (or music), even the beauty of the land became dull and unfathomably difficult to appreciate before too long.

This was the part of the journey that was not filled in to every minute detail in her dreams. Why? Because it was boring and repetitive. And painfully so. Beautiful, yes. But Y/N was getting pretty sick and tired of the endless expanse of landscape in the uncomfortable silence with nothing but her thoughts and fears tormenting her. It didn't help that there were hardly any birds singing, and when they would, it was all the same chirps from all the same species.

Y/N sighed again, trying to think of something -- anything -- to bide her time to make this long trip easier. What she wouldn’t give for her music, her phone, her-- 

"What's wrong, lass?" Dwalin's asked as he turned his face slightly in her general direction. She had grown accustomed to the quiet stretching out in the front of the line that the sudden question startled her and made her jump in her seat. Y/N's back instinctively tilted her backwards but she quickly clutched tightly to Dwalin's front to steady herself. He stiffened against her hold but otherwise didn't say anything about it.

Just to break the tension, she had a mind to say, "Are we there yet?" But opted for another approach.

"S-sorry. Nothing, I'm fine, just getting lulled by the scenery," she replied shyly, letting her hold on him slide free.

"If you plan on sleepin', let me know. Don't be scared to hang onto me, either, I don't want ya fallin' off."

"Okay."

And that was the end of that conversation. Geez, maybe sleeping wasn't such a bad idea; it could pass the time, but Y/N didn't feel right being the only one who took to napping while everyone else was forced to ride on. Besides, what if falling asleep woke her up from this dream before in concluded? She didn’t want to risk it. 

Occasionally, there were some conversations taking place behind her and she wanted desperately to join in, but didn't want to just invite herself. Gandalf, ever the observant wizard, seemed to take notice of Y/N's restlessness and boredom and decided to strike up a conversation.

"So, my dear Y/N," he began effortlessly, as if they had already been talking for the past hour. "I'm very interested in learning more about the land you came from. What was it called again?"

Y/N perked up instantly. She would be happy to talk about anything at this point. She couldn't stand the awkward silence any more. "Florida. Very hot and humid; I lived in the city -- it's nothing like it is here."

"How so?"

And so she went into detail, describing everything about her homeland down to her everyday lifestyle, what the people looked like, the main method of travel, and other details. That seemed to unleash a whole slew of interest from the Company, who gradually began listening in to their conversation and moving in close, periodically asking her more questions, or urging her to explain further. Gandalf asked interesting questions, like if she descended from a long line of Seers, if magic existed in her world, had she had any experience at all with runes, etc.

She feigned innocence for things that would ruin events which would eventually unfold on their own based on what her dream showed her, and politely informed them that she would inform them as soon as they needed to know if something important was about to transpire. Not that anyone said anything overtly out loud about it while she was within earshot, but there were whispers going around about when they would get the chance to learn about her Seeing abilities. Or, rather, put them to the test.

Ori was quick to jump to her aid, letting slip of what she explained would happen earlier with Bilbo and how accurate she was with her prediction. This wasn't received very seriously by the Company at first since Ori tended to have a wild imagination, but then Bofur jumped in to back him up, validating that his words were true. And the result in outbursts and accusations that followed for everyone who placed their wagers came round in quite the heated argument -- suddenly all the winners were cheats and the losers wanted a rematch. And finally, it was decided that Y/N was exempt from all bets henceforth, much to her dismay.

"What were you doing before you woke up in Middle Earth? Do you remember?" Gandalf continued after a chuckle. That was an excellent question. But she had an even better one to raise: why _ couldn't _she remember anything she was doing before going to sleep? Y/N tried desperately to collect her thoughts but it was like her memories had been withheld or purposefully forgotten, which was the norm for dreams, but she had never consciously thought about it while in a dream. Seeing if she could make any progress, Y/N remembered her home, her family and friends, and what it was like in her world, but for the life of her she couldn't recall a single thing about what she did that day.

"I... I don't remember. It's strange, I can remember any other day, but not yesterday."

Thorin listened on quietly, and offered a comment or two every now and again and even asked a few questions of his own to gain a better understanding on the given questions that she answered in turn. He was polite but even she could sense that his guard was up. It was hard for Y/N to discern where she stood with the guy. He played his emotions so close to the chest that she could only go off of his responses and manner of speaking to get an idea of his temperament with her. And so far, the otherworldly girl guessed that she only caused him annoyance. She decided not to focus on that; the others seemed happy to have her.

"I'd like to ask some questions now," Y/N butted in before anyone could jump in with their laundry list of questions. She finally started to feel at ease to start opening up again despite riding behind Thorin and Gandalf. She didn't know why she cared so much about appearing in a good light with them, but she did. A part of her did feel a shred of fear that, at any moment, they could choose to dump her in a town at any time, contract or no.

"For you, actually," Y/N tapped Dwalin's shoulder gently and he half turned his face to her, surprised she had something to ask of him of all people. "What do your tattoos mean?"

"He's bald as a rock so they're his substitute hair." Kili interjected before Dwalin could even work up an answer. That caused Dwalin to violently whip his head around and Y/N narrowly dodged out of the way of his shoulder while he yelled out something that sounded very offensive in a strange language. Kili merely laughed in response.

Dwalin still had hair... maybe not on the top of his head, but he had hair. She even touched it nonchalantly, curious of its texture and it was surprisingly soft. After gaining the understanding that Dwarves prided themselves with their hair care, she didn't want Dwalin to feel emasculated by Kili's comment, so she rushed to his defense.

"Hey! That’s rich coming from you," Y/N called from over her shoulder. "The hair he does have is still longer and more well-kept than yours, and on top of that Ori is younger than you and even he's got more luscious face locks than you have. Stop being mean, it’s not cute."

That seemed to perk Dwalin right up and a collective laugh at Kili's expense rolled through the group. Kili looked absolutely contrite.

"I wasn’t trying to--that was low, Y/N... quite a low blow..." Kili grumbled dejectedly, thoroughly regretting his actions as his face flushed red with embarrassment. He had probably done this in some stupid attempt at impressing her, as guys tended to do to appear more manly, and any ego he had poking fun at Dwalin was snuffed out like a candle to the wind.

"Don't dish it if you can't take it," she winked. Kili only pouted, turning his face away from her as the Company continued laughing at him, telling him not to worry, that someday he, too, will have "luscious face locks". Y/N could even hear a soft chuckle coming from Thorin but it lasted too short for her to confirm.

"Don't need to defend my honor, y'know," Dwalin said. "I'm quite proud of my tattoos."

"Well, you seemed pissed, so... Well, in any case, I think you look great just the way you are. Very manly and handsome," she nudged his back with her fist. Dwalin only "harrumphed" in response but he did sit notably taller at that.

* * *

As the merry band neared their eventual resting point, Y/N had experienced some head discomfort. Every once in a while, she'd feel a tingle in her ears -- a static. Or an itch she'd never be able to reach. At times, she could have sworn she heard a voice talking to her when there wasn't. And then there were fleeting moments where Y/N was certain that she saw a man watching them from the trees, or behind a rock; always just ahead, always watching. Always creeptastic. She couldn't help but think back to when she was going to the bathroom and saw that man there. The more she thought about it, the less she thought it was one of the Dwarves, but someone else entirely, but she just couldn't piece the memory together. 

It's been a few hours of this and Y/N's ears started to ring as the dying frequency in her ear canals would forever be lost in their swan song, and while she dug her knuckles in to massage the noise out, she saw him. That figure again. She froze. And this time, Y/N was keeping her eyes on him. Her hearing seemed to intensify and she could practically hear the insects buzzing and the birds singing as if they were right beside her face. The figure didn't move, it just stood there watching, drawing her to him through her spirit.

"Dwalin..." Y/N whispered as she gave him an insistent light tap on the arm, her eyes fixed on the mysterious man just up ahead hidden within the trees.

"Mm?"

"Do you see him?"

"See who?" He asked more loudly than she would have liked. The figure continued to stare, still unmoving as the Company drew nearer. He was only up ahead by a couple yards and just out of sight; Y/N happened to look up at the direct spot he stood in. She could have sworn she heard a voice again, but she wasn't sure if that was all in her head or if it was from the lot behind them.

"There's someone watching us from the trees."

Dwalin immediately hardened under her touch. Y/N could actually feel the muscles in his arms turning tight as steel as if he was preparing his body for combat and her eyes momentarily shot down to the axes strapped to his back knowing that he was more than capable of wielding them at any time. She would have been impressed by the sheer strength that dwelled in his body had she not been worried and scared about this stalker who seemed to always been three steps ahead of them always just out of reach just... staring at her.

"Where?" Dwalin's voice growled. She pointed straight at it, but just as she did so, her head cracked open in pain and she saw a blinding white light overcome her vision until she felt, heard, and saw nothing else but a white hot burning fire spreading inside her entire body. It felt as though she was getting sucked backwards into a vortex of light, spiraling around helplessly within it as she was being taken further away from her new companions.

Within a few seconds, she was plopped right back down into the ground. With a grunt, she got to her feet, but then she froze when she took in her surroundings. It was dark and musky. The first peril of the journey that she’s dreamed played out in front of her as if she was right there in it now; the scene coming together all around her like a watercolor painting before becoming clearer and clearer until she was right there in the mix of it as an invisible spectator -- the part with the trolls. It wasn't anything like what she dreamed because for one, she was right in the middle of it and not watching as a spectator. The danger here was very real and all of them were in trouble. Y/N felt the sickly fear of being captured, dodging out of the way of being grabbed but everyone and everything seemed to move right through her as if she was a ghost. It was as if she wasn’t even there. 

As clarity hit, so did another realization that Y/N could no longer deny. This was just too real to be a vivid dream. 

_Oh my god... oh my god... oh my god..._ _This shit is actually fucking real!_ Gone were the lingering suspicions of this being another dream. Y/N was really there in Middle Earth somehow. She watched on helplessly as her Dwarven friends were being trapped and shoved in sacks and tossed carelessly in piles, and others being prepared for the fire. She tried to pick up a weapon to fend the trolls off, but her hands only went through it. Nobody could hear her, either. 

"Your first task," an omnipotent voice said from both nowhere and everywhere.

She whipped her head around and turned in a circle, trying to locate the source amidst the scene, but all she saw was the struggle going on in this actual vision she was having as she watched the Dwarves being tied up and strapped together to be placed over the fire roll.

"What do you mean? What am I supposed to do?!" She called out. But no answer came.

She could hear someone calling her name. Her name became an in and out chant, zoning in and out of focus like a phantom of a whisper before growing louder and louder. And then the picture of the troll scene crumbled before her, falling apart like broken glass; she felt herself being tugged almost physically backwards away from the scene and the white light returned to funnel her out. Then there was nothing but darkness. And her name becoming more clear from the haze.

Finally, the realization that her journey to Middle Earth was not the product of another whack ass dream was rebounding through her head almost as viciously as her denial of it was from the start. She had somehow fallen into an alternate reality of the universe she had recurring dreams about. But she still couldn't understand how or why.

“There ya are, lass!” She felt a pat on her back.

"Oh god... oh god, oh god, it's real. It's real!" Y/N whimpered.

Oin "whispered", "She's on that again? I thought we cleared that up already," 

"Easy, now, Lady Y/N. Oin, tend to her again, I've got her steady," a calm voice sounded from directly behind her ear, drawing Y/N away from her thoughts. Coming back into the present, she opened her eyes and gasped and shuffled backwards into a hard chest when Oin reached out to touch her. She didn't realize how violently she was shaking until she looked down at her hands, which had globs of fresh blood on them.

Her breathing intensified as panic set in. _ Whose blood is that!? What happened? _ The shocked and bewildered faces all around her did nothing but spur on her panic and she let out a pathetic whimper of confusion as she looked around, overwhelmed: she was on the ground surrounded by the Company who all had dismounted their ponies. Gandalf was very concerned, even Thorin looked on with a worried stare. Dwalin was nowhere to be found and she began to fear that this blood...

"Shh," a voice cooed from behind in her. "You're all right, you're all right." A pair of strong arms held firmly onto her and rocked gently from side to side, the chin that leaned onto her shoulder revealed a familiar blonde head. Y/N looked again at her bloodied hands and Oin took a hesitant step forward to examine her, moving very slowly this time.

"Wh-Whose blood is this? Where's Dwalin, is he okay?" she asked.

"Lass, I need you to look at me," Oin instructed gently yet firmly. "Do you feel any pain?"

Images of the scene she saw came flooding back and she started hyperventilating again. They were heading straight for them, but she didn't know when. Those damn trolls! That scene didn't look anything close to terrifying when Y/N dreamed it from the safety of her bed, but when you were actually there living it was an entirely different story. Her first task... what was she supposed to do? Prevent it from happening? Let it go on just as expected since they would all live through it anyway? What did the voice mean?

Fili started whispering words of comfort to her, mixing common tongue with Khuzdul, squeezing her tightly in his embrace. Eventually he got her to calm down enough to focus on Oin's instructions. Oin had her answer a few questions regarding any painful areas and then did some simple tests of her motor functions to confirm that she was fine. Bilbo timidly shuffled over into view from behind her and took out his handkerchief from his pocket. He hesitated reaching out to her, but then very softly wiped at her nose, effectively cleaning the mystery blood away from it.

“Here,” he offered it to her.

When she saw the blood on it her eyes widened and Bilbo quickly jumped back in with, "No, no! Calm down, everything is fine! You're all right, breathe. Just take some deep breaths and--"

"Can you stand?" Thorin imposed, looking down at her and holding out his hand. Bilbo turned to look at him incredulously. Even Oin gaped at him.

"Thorin, give her a minute!" Bilbo protested.

Y/N wasn't sure if she could stand, but she didn't want to show even more weakness than she already was -- this was absolutely embarrassing. She just slowed the Company down by falling off of the pony as she had an actual vision and crude wake up call... and quite a horrible one at that. "Yeah, I got it." Fili carefully removed himself from behind her, also offering her his hand to help her up but she struggled to her feet on her own ignoring both outstretched hands. She wobbled just a bit before clutching her head in her hands as a dizzying swirl started churning her brain. The migraine was thankfully dulled to a faint roar that gradually pulsed in slowing bursts, but it still hurt like a bitch. Thankfully, it seemed to be subsiding.

"What happened?" Y/N grimaced through the pain. Before an answer could come to her question, Dwalin suddenly came charging through the trees with his axe at hand, seemingly unharmed. Y/N sighed in relief. Thorin shifted his attention to him and when Dwalin shook his head, scowled back at her.

"You saw a man in the woods?"

"I did, and it wasn't the first time," she winced as another fading burst of pain flared and subsided in her brain. She accepted Bilbo's handkerchief when he held it up to her for her to take and she pressed it to her nose to stop a new line of blood from trailing down.

"There was nobody there, lass... and if there were, they're gone now. I didn't see any tracks. Are ye sure ye saw him?" Dwalin jumped in, worry in his eyes at the sight of the blood on her.

"Yes, I saw him!"

"What did he look like?" Gandalf asked. He seemed to be the only one who wasn't looking at her as if she sprouted an extra head. 

"He..." Y/N frowned. What _ did _he look like? This was the second time she saw the guy, but she just couldn't remember the details of his face or his body. Trying to remember only served to gain pain in the membrane, so she stopped. "I don't remember. I just know that it was a man."

"You stopped us because of a man whom you cannot recall merely standing in the woods?" Thorin sighed.

"I've seen him before back when we took a bathroom break, the pervert was watching me."

"Be that as it may, how could he possibly make it ahead of us without being seen from such a distance on foot?"

To say that Thorin did not look happy was an understatement. In fact, he seemed almost suspenseful and downright annoyed. That look on his face did not go unnoticed by Y/N, however.

"I know you aren't suggesting that I'm making this up..." She practically growled to the king. Hoping to any god in existence in this land that he wasn't. She even dropped the bloodied cloth from her face to illustrate the effects she was subject to from this alleged entity in question.

"I've no evidence to confirm nor deny it, just your word." Came his flat reply. Which was a nice way of saying that he trusted her about as much as her aptitude with a weapon.

Y/N had several harsh words to say to him in response for that uncalled for implied comment, words that would likely ignite the fury that was Thorin Oakenshield's temper. But Gandalf noticed the change in the air between them and jumped in before that incoming fiasco could take place, "What was the last thing you _ do _remember, Lady Y/N?"

"I saw a man in the trees and when I pointed him out to Dwalin I blacked out, but... I had a vision."

That definitely stirred interest, though Thorin had a look as if to say, "And why wasn't that the first thing you told us?"

"Well? What did you see?" Gandalf asked eagerly as his eyes bored into hers. Y/N debated on whether or not to tell them. After all, they do make it out unscathed and Gandalf saves the day. She still didn't know what she was supposed to do with her "first task" but she didn't want to alter the course of events too much for fear of causing a butterfly effect. She remembered what happened in the many times she’s dreamed this place, so if anything were to change or derail the natural course of the storyline, she could seriously end up in the dark and have no idea what would happen or if her altering the course of events would expedite deaths or cause new ones. Why couldn’t she have dreamed this same dream with various scenarios? Why always the same one over and over?

Ah, a light bulb moment occurred.

What if she was here to save the Durin line? Maybe that was why she kept dreaming about them and was brought here! If that was the case, Y/N had to tread carefully... Until she could figure out what needed to be done, she decided not to divulge the information of the vision just yet but promised to tell them later -- she claimed to need rest. Thorin didn't like that response either, but he could go stuff it.

Dori whistled and spoke to Bifur. "Gotta have respect for someone burdened with a gift like that."

"Some gift that is! If it was mine, I'd gladly return it -- OW!" Nori murmured a little too loudly. Earning him a sharp smack from Bofur.

"That's enough, lads..." Bofur piped in, taking in the pained expression Y/N wore. She couldn't even look Dwalin or Thorin in the eye, their disapproving stares were about as welcome as ice cream in a blizzard and even though she was taller than both of these warriors, she felt as small as sand. She had no control over what happened, yet she still felt at fault somehow and they only made her feel worse.

It was a deterrent to remind her that this wasn't like a dream where you could (sometimes) control the outcome of every scenario and everybody would always be happy and friendly and the good guys triumphed simply because "good guys always triumphed". No, this was reality now. And Y/N had the knowledge and potential power to change things, a feat not to be taken lightly in the slightest when real lives were at stake. If anything, holding the power of life in her hands was more terrifying than anything they were all going to end up facing together.

"Ride with me, Y/N." Fili offered with a smile before leaning up to whisper in her ear, "I'll tell you embarrassing stories of Kili."

Y/N numbly followed, but not before she caught an exchange of words that was even worse than this whole embarrassing experience was.

"We do not know how much more of these 'visions' she will succumb to, Gandalf, or if they will even come to pass at all," Thorin leaned over to the wizard. "Not even a day has gone by and she is proving to be more trouble than she's worth."

Ouch... 

Y/N was glad she didn't stick around to hear the rest. That was enough. Fuck... they were probably discussing the best town to dump her in as soon as they neared it. Y/N was as good as gone; she was toast -- no, worse -- _ burnt _toast.

"I'm sorry..." she mumbled, though she wasn't entirely sure why she felt the need.

"For what?" Fili asked. "For gracing me with the honor of sharing my pony with a fair maiden such as yourself? Don't ever apologize for that, my lady! Up you go," he bent down to give her a boost on his pony and then she extended her arm for him to climb on behind her. Thorin barked out a command to take off and the Company moved forward once more. _ Better enjoy it now _ , Y/N pouted as she recalled another course of events that will occur later. _ You'll eventually be walking on foot for the remainder of the quest. _ There was a calm silence drifting through, but the weight of what happened still hung thick in the air for everyone.

All Y/N wanted to do was disappear. Especially when some of them would occasionally glance behind them to look at her with unreadable expressions which would cause her to blush and look away.

"Fili?" Y/N asked after a beat. She was scared, hoping she wouldn't see that figure again. Hoping she didn't have any more actual visions; wondered if she actually did see it or if it was really all in her head. But god, did it feel real. As if Fili sensed her worries, he covered her small hand in his large one and gave a squeeze.

"Just you hang on to me -- don't let go. If you receive another vision, I'll be right here -- I won't let you fall."

"I don't doubt _ your _ abilities, Fili. I doubt mine..." Fili didn't say anything for a moment, he just kept his hand on hers before giving a gentle pat. Y/N honestly didn't expect him to say anything -- what was there _ to _say?

"Let me tell you about the time I stole Kili's clothes while he bathed in the river. I was in my late fifties then and--" Fili began with a mischievous lilt to his voice.

"Fili, don't you dare!" Kili shrieked from behind them.

* * *

Y/N did not expect to be floored by such kindness and warmth when the Company set up camp for the night. After the awkward debacle in the woods, she had honestly expected to become alienated from everyone. Shunned and left alone like a leper since nobody except for Fili, Kili, and Bofur even attempted to talk to her the rest of the ride. But that was not the case with this bunch when it came time to set up camp. Dwalin was first to her side to help her off the pony, asking if she was faring well and thanking her properly for coming to his aid earlier about his hair.

As she didn’t have a bedroll or blanket of her own, there was a stipulation on whose bedding should be used. It started out innocently enough between Fili and Kili, where Fili had assuaged that he’d give up his bedroll for the night but it soon turned into a contest on whose blanket was better quality. Bilbo had somehow found himself roped into the ridiculousness with his own materials and now the situation came down to whoever had the “better quality” blanket would be the one that Y/N slept with. 

Bombur gave her extra food for supper and insisted that she eat first, Dori provided tea, and Bofur was going nonstop with the jokes and innuendos to keep her spirits high. With the rush of attention from them individually, Y/N would have presumed they were making an act out of it just to make her feel better, but the Dwarves were being completely sincere, which was enough to cause a flood of tears of relief, but she held them back. She showed enough weakness in front of them for one day.

Thorin didn't come to check on her, but he occasionally glanced over every now and then, looking on warily before he turned his attention away to discuss something with Balin and Gandalf a semi-private distance away from the others. 

"This was handmade by my great-great grandmother! Sheep wool!" Bilbo argued with Fili.

"That's hardly comfortable enough, and it's way too small! I comforted her when she fell off the pony," came the Prince's retort, as if that justified why his blanket was better.

"At least my blanket is clean, which is more than I can say for either of yours," Kili jumped in smugly.

"And why would she want to be anywhere near you after the way you insulted her? 'I wouldn't want _ that _gift!' That was just horrid, clearly you've no manners when speaking to ladies!" Bilbo scoffed.

“What? That wasn’t even _ me! _ That was Nori!” Kili defended, perturbed. It seemed the topic of discussion had shifted from whose blanket was comfiest to male ego. 

It was almost comical watching them bicker on. It also seemed very out of character for them considering how they only knew each other for about a day, but Y/N would be lying if it she said that it didn't feel nice to feel cared for. They considered her a friend and she definitely needed one.

"Lucky lass, you are," Bofur chuckled, indicating his head over the bickering trio as he sat himself beside her on the ground where he was setting up. "Got quite a few lads here fighting for the right to offer you comfort. Can't say I blame 'em." He started unrolling his own blanket to prepare his spot before fiddling with his pipe, tapping out excess tobacco ashes.

"Why? So you can get a front row seat to the next seizure? I've never been so embarrassed in my life." She emptied the last of the tea that Dori offered and fiddled with the cup between her hands. The gloves Ori knitted her were stained with her blood; an unpleasant reminder that she hoped would come out when she had the chance to scrub it off at a stream.

Bofur only smiled on kindly, overlooking the petty self-deprecating stab she directed at herself. "I could tell ya way more embarrassin' stories than _ that, _" he winked. And then: "I believe you, ya know. 'Bout what you saw." 

That caused her head to swivel at him in disbelief. As kind as Fili was, or anyone for that matter, nobody had yet told her that they believed her on what happened or about the man she saw in the woods before it all went down. Parts of her had her thinking she imagined the whole thing, but the blood on her knitted gloves told her otherwise.

He nodded to reaffirm his statement at her shocked expression, his silly hat flaps bouncing at her in the process. He took a puff from his pipe and continued to smile.

"You do? I mean, you're not just sayin' that?" she asked a little too hopefully.

“Mm, aye. Fer one thing, you fell from the stars. I know we haven’t known each other long, but when I saw ya fall out of the sky in such a magical way, I knew there was somethin’ special about yer comin’ here. And when you foretold Bilbo joining us for the quest and it came to pass, well, why would this be any different? It has to mean _ some_thin’!” He took a quick drag on his pipe and exhaled the smoke while he spoke, “I may not understand the why’s of it all yet,” he blew out the remainder of the smoke, “but even so, you have my trust in ya.”

Y/N stared at him in a mixture of awe and gratitude at his blind faith in her. After having dreamt of them for so long, she would have thought she knew them well by now, but as it turns out, there was still room for pleasant surprises.

“Really?” she asked, quickly wiping at her wettening eyes as nonchalantly as she could to halt the tears threatening to form. 

"Why, Lady Y/N!" Bofur looked hurt, but Y/N knew better. His brown eyes twinkled with farce. "Thus far, I have no reason not to trust you, but you won't even trust _ me?_ I thought we were becoming friends! Here I am, a simple, humble dwarrow bearing his honest--oomf!"

Bofur stiffened and shifted unsurely in Y/N's hold when she tackled him into a hug. He was not expecting an attack of affection, least of all from her. "Thank you..." she whispered into his neck. "God, thank you for saying that. I don't think anyone else really does, even with how nice they’re being."

A slight hesitation later, but eventually Bofur brought his pipe-free arm around her to return the hug, leaning his cheek against her head as he awkwardly patted her arms. "I'm sure I'm not the only one, lass."

Y/N pulled away before they could draw attention to themselves and she beamed gratefully, feeling a flood of warmth spread through her. Bofur returned her smile fondly, nervously nipping at the beak of his pipe before aptly fumbling to his feet and quickly rubbing out any possible dirt on his bed space. 

“Here,” he gestured to his bedroll and blanket that was all setup. “No tellin’ when the lads will be finished deciding over there, so you can have my bedroll tonight.”

“Aw, Bofur, are you sure? I feel bad--”

"What? No! Bofur, that isn't fair!" Kili whined when he caught sight of the arrangement. "Right when we decided whose blanket... what a sneaky thing to do!"

"We?!" Fili and Bilbo retorted, clearly that decision Kili referred to was made without them.

"Oooh, ye hear that, Y/N? I'm sneaky." Bofur grinned. 

"I won't take your blanket from you, it doesn’t feel right," Y/N assured him.

He seemed to have other plans as he winked at her warmly and waved his hand. "No, I insist. Ye had a hard day, and a hard night before it, it's the least I can do."

"Seer!" Thorin's deep voice boomed, causing Y/N to flinch involuntarily. "A word."

She looked to Bofur unsurely. He didn't appear too concerned, but then again, it wasn't like he was the one who had to go talk to him. "Off with ya now," Bofur nudged her when she stalled.

Her nerves now gaining foot in her bloodstream again, Y/N reviewed the path to the trio of elders on the other side of camp. The campsite was awkwardly tight knit in certain areas of the cave and Y/N had to climb and wind her way around a lot of bodies to get to Thorin, but at least he appeared to wait patiently and didn’t rush her. Balin and Gandalf flanked him on either side but Thorin was the only one who stood in wait for her. She tried to guess what this was about based on their expressions, but they went full on poker face, revealing nothing. And so, she jumped to the worst possible scenario to lighten the blow for her when it came. 

_ Welp, this is it_, she gulped. _ I can't believe I'm already out. _

When she stopped in front of the intimidating Dwarf king, her heart was like a hammer in her ears as she waited to hear the words of her dismissal that had been echoing in her head during the walk over. 

"So, you had a vision," he started. Y/N let out a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding as she braced herself. "We are very interested to hear it now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for patiently waiting and for expressing interest and enjoying the chapters so far! I look forward to really developing this story further.


	4. Pinky Swear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/N explains her vision to the group and tries to think of how she can become indispensable to the Company. She makes some headway with talking with Thorin to see what she needs to do to earn his trust. And after receiving a bad dream, she furthers her relationship with a friend who decided to stay up and comfort her.

Y/N rubbed her dampened palms on the legs of her borrowed trousers to rid them of their moisture as she made her way over.

Along with trying to come to grips with what exactly her vision meant, Y/N had taken a considerable amount of time during the ride to camp to think of what to tell the Company about her vision once the question inevitably rose again. And after much consideration of weighing out the options up to this point, she had decided that instead of going into full-blown detail, she would divulge enough truthful information that she knew wouldn't be doubted or questioned while keeping a few details to herself. Y/N knew that one wrong word could be her demise; the deciding factor on whether or not she would continue along with them or be dumped at a nearby town.

She also had plenty of time to think of what parts of her vision to share with them but they, too, had ample time to contemplate on what they wanted to know in turn. Outside their theories, regardless of Y/N’s means of travel or what was supposedly seen etched into her arms, nobody knew the true reason why Y/N was there but trusted that it must be a good sign despite the uncertainty and unanswered questions. Sure, she had the majority of the Company and Gandalf on her side for now which kept the wary Dwarf king at bay, but even the sagely wizard was keeping a close watch on her. Who knew what thoughts were circulating in his head?

In the back of her mind, the lingering fear and anticipation of being overcome with another vision admittedly frightened her. Y/N had no idea when or where they would strike next, if at all, but prayed that if it did happen again that the vision would come whenever she and the Company were somewhere safe. And until she better understood how to interpret her visions, she didn't want to give away too much too soon for fear of getting someone hurt or worse. But what was odd to Y/N in the vision she received was that she knew the troll altercation would occur eventually. She didn't need a skull-splitting vision just to tell her that, so she pondered on why in the world it came to her in such a way when she had already dreamed it multiple times already. 

_ And what about that voice? _She thought. _ It said that was my first task. First task for what? _Y/N also decided to keep that bit to herself until she could gather more answers.

Gandalf, Thorin and Balin waited patiently for her to join them in their secluded spot. They gave off an idle, eager vibe to know what she saw in her vision now that she was given adequate time to rest since the last time she asked. When she arrived, Gandalf gestured a seat beside him as more of a welcoming motion than anything once he took note of how nervous she looked. Y/N obliged and collected her thoughts one last time before they began.

"How are you faring?" The wizard asked sincerely.

Y/N appreciated the concern in his voice. "I'm much better now, thanks. I've never had a vision like that before... it was pretty terrifying, actually," she laughed humorlessly, reminiscing on just how awful that entire experience was. Not to mention embarrassing. 

He and Balin nodded in understanding. Both were pleased that she was feeling better and offered up polite condolences while Thorin sat himself across from her, leaning his weight on his elbows that he rested on his knees to make himself comfortable.

"Have you not had experiences with visions like those in the past? I thought you were a Seer," Thorin questioned suspiciously.

It was hard for Y/N to focus when being penetrated so intensely by his stark blue stare and imposing presence. Her every move was being closely monitored. Every facial expression scrutinized to pick up just the slightest whiff of a lie for every word she spoke. Y/N realized that she was in the process of being interrogated, and she didn't appreciate that at all. But she understood that it came from a place of caution.

"No, I just... _ know _things that are going to happen from the dreams that I’ve had; random details and events here and there that all lead up to something more or less important in the future. But I don't have visions... I've never had visions, not like that."

She shuddered just thinking about it and Thorin's gaze softened a little at her distress but he still remained on guard.

Balin tacked in next but he was more so addressing the other two than her, "Aye, it's quite an uncommon gift for a human to have. Usually Elves or sorcerers are born with that sort of ability, but I would say it's an important sign with direct impact to our quest, so we must deal with this with utmost care. Could be the work of our Maker, based on what Gandalf was explaining."

Gandalf sagely nodded and smiled at her, "Indeed. A great honor appears to have befallen you, dear Y/N."

"Even so, there are some concerns that need addressing if she is to remain with us," Thorin told them. Y/N bit her lip and waited, hoping she appeared as confident as she could.

"Have you any experience with fighting?"

"No," she replied.

Thorin seemed to have already anticipated her answer as such because he didn't look the slightest bit surprised. Balin jotted something down on a scroll of paper that Y/N didn't notice he had until now.

"I'm willing to learn, though!" she quickly added, as if that would have any sort of positive impact on whatever note taking was being done.

"We haven't the time to train you properly, nor weapons to spare," said Thorin dismissively.

Y/N huffed. "So what? I'm a fast learner, I can just borrow someone else's and train with them until I get my own."

He shot her an impatient, apprehensive look.

Gandalf cleared his throat before he jumped in, "Now, Thorin, that's not such a bad idea. I think a little training here and there would be most beneficial and I'm sure Fili would have a dagger or two she could use for the time being."

Balin agreed, taking note of that part of the conversation and Thorin reluctantly consented to the idea after some choice words from his unofficial adviser.

"It's settled then! You'll begin at the next camp and we'll work out a schedule for you as availability permits," Balin scribbled a few things down and then lifted his head, "Ah, have any of your memories returned from before you arrived here?"

Unfortunately, Y/N still had no memory of that day prior to waking up in Bilbo's house. She knew they wanted to gain some sort of inkling on why she was here with them, be that to aid them in battle (not very likely), offer simply be their guide with helpful premonitions like she told them, or perhaps something else altogether. She hoped that her memories would return to her soon; she was just as eager, if not more, to gain some answers to her own perplexing questions as the Company was.

"Perhaps they'll return to you in time, don't trouble yourself, lass," Balin replied after she shook her head and frowned in thought.

Y/N sighed, "I hope so and I wish I knew. I'm trying to remember, but every time I think too long on it, I get this really painful headache. Between that and the vision, I'd like to get some answers to what's going on just as badly as you do. I feel like I'm going nuts..."

She didn't need to mention to them about that man in the woods again, and she was thankful that no one brought it up. It was just another added bonus to this increasingly bizarre puzzle that she could provide no solution to. The thought that she might see the stalker once again only served to put her on edge, but she did feel safe among the Dwarves.

"And what of the markings on your arms?" Thorin asked. "Have they returned?"

Y/N shook her head and exposed her forearms to them. The skin was as bare as the last time she looked. Balin seemed disappointed. Nobody saw the runes except for Thorin and Gandalf, but Y/N was coming to learn that the lot was highly superstitious and anything having to do with their deity got them as heightened and giddy as gossiping schoolgirls. Everyone was probably anxious to see them. Her included.

"More mysteries, it seems..." Balin murmured to himself as he wrote.

"Tell us what you saw," Thorin pressed gently, wanting to get to the point. Gandalf and Balin adjusted their seated positions to give Y/N their undivided attention as her cue to begin.

Well, here goes nothing. 

"To put it plainly, some time in the near future, we're going to be up against a trio of trolls," she explained carefully. "They're going to make off with two of your ponies, but don't worry, you'll get them back. And there's going to be a bit of a squabble involved, but everyone will be all right."

There was a pause as Thorin watched her, searching her face as they all absorbed her words. He seemed to be expecting more out of her but she said nothing further and hoped that what she had given them would be enough details. Gandalf let out a contemplative hum and got lost in his own thoughts. No doubt with a list of questions he intended to ask if he couldn't answer them on his own.

As if Balin sensed Thorin's anticipation for more details, he added to Y/N, "Is that it then? Are we approaching trolls?"

Y/N nodded. "Eventually, yes."

She returned her focus to Thorin who remained silent and as intimidating as ever while Balin quickly scribbled her answer on his parchment. Y/N couldn't read his expression and was worried about what Thorin was thinking about or whether or not he believed her, but she wasn’t left wondering for very long.

"Very well,” Thorin nodded slightly in thanks. 

His attention now shifted to Gandalf who was startled out of his thoughts the moment Thorin addressed him. "It appears we may need to reconsider our trajectory away from anywhere trolls may be nesting. What other roads can we take from here, Gandalf?" Before relief could settle in Y/N's chest, she felt a sting of panic rip through her. Were they going to take a different road entirely? Derail from where they would have otherwise traveled and end up somewhere different? Perhaps she had made a mistake...

Choking on her fears and anxiety in silence all the while aiming to maintain a look of indifferent composure, she watched and listened intently to the conversation that picked up amidst the three of them. Her input didn't appear to be needed any longer, but Y/N was happy that she wasn't asked to leave in case she had to try and convince them to stick to the path without coming off as overly suspicious.

"No," Gandalf finally announced. "The current road we are taking should be safe."

Thorin didn't appear convinced.

"'Should be safe', you say? Even when there are _ trolls _on the horizon and the threat of losing our means of transportation? Do you doubt the ability of our Seer that you employed to us or are you purposefully leading us astray?" Thorin quirked his eyebrow.

Gandalf waved his worries away while simultaneously waving away his once pristine, round tobacco smoke rings. The wizard made his distaste for that insulting remark known with a few carefully structured harsh words.

"I assure you that there are no troll nests in our current path! Y/N herself has just said that the vision is to occur sometime in the near future. I know these roads and where we need to go, so as long as we stick to the trail, I am certain that we can prevent that rather unfortunate event from happening at all."

"And where is it that you're leading us, may I ask?" Thorin straightened in his seat, voice leaking mistrust. He leaned a muscular arm over his leg while he fixed Gandalf with a wary stare.

Gandalf flicked his gaze to Y/N and then back to Thorin, quick enough for Y/N to notice but not him. Y/N wondered if Gandalf was still set on getting them to Rivendell outside of Thorin's knowledge. It _ was _possible, and Gandalf seemed to assume that Y/N knew this already, or "saw" it, as it were. She relaxed at the comfort of that thought, but was unable to properly ask at this time.

"Forward, my friend."

"Then we'll just have to take extra precautions for camp moving forward -- just in case," said Balin to Thorin.

Thorin nodded, "I will appoint Kili and Fili to watch the ponies for the time being. With their skill, they could provide ample enough protection, should anything come to pass."

The three of them delved into further deliberation and gradually, Y/N's presence appeared to be all but forgotten. They argued over whether or not her vision was subjective or indefinite, Gandalf was certain he knew exactly where they needed to go, which would be well out of the way of any possible troll nests -- therefore leaning towards the "subjective" end of the spectrum -- before they jumped into the discussion of tactics.

With the pressure she felt earlier lifted off her shoulders, Y/N decided to think up some tactics of her own. For one, she intended to tell Thorin and Gandalf all about her visions should more appear but leave out certain details that may or may not prove to have disastrous after effects if others had knowledge of it, and divulge other details of the vision to other members of the Company, especially if it directly impacted them. Thus far, the only one she had a mind to talk to for this very purpose was busying himself by his pony and sneaking her apples.

Taking their involved, exclusive conversation as a hint that she was no longer needed, but relieved that they were continuing down where they intended to go as per the films, Y/N rose to hopefully slip away unseen but Thorin's eyes immediately locked onto her, halting her in place.

"Uh... I didn't think I was needed anymore, so I was gonna..." She jabbed her thumb in the direction of the Company. "Did you want me to stay?"

His eyes never once left hers and she suppressed the urge to swallow a gulp. It was an interesting tug of war in being both completely enthralled by this man while simultaneously ruffled to bits. The way he could hold her stare so effortlessly was discomforting, to say the least, despite being attracted to him. If anything, that may have made it worse.

"Is there anything else you wish to tell me?" his deep voice asked.

"Not at the moment..."

"You may go," came the answer.

Once she was dismissed, she let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding. After being so certain that she was being kicked out, now she had to worry about whether or not her visions being divulged would pose new threats for her -- or them. Great. Y/N returned the nods and smiles given to her by some members of the group when she approached and called out to Bilbo. He was hanging around the ponies and jumped as if he had just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar even though he did nothing wrong. It made Y/N giggle to herself at how easily flummoxed he was. 

"Hey, I need to talk to you. Come here," Y/N waved Bilbo over. Upon receiving his summons, Bilbo quickly scurried his way over and greeted her with a warm smile when they reached their spot. He couldn’t help but curiously look over to the now hushed conversation of Balin, Thorin, and Gandalf that she just left and wondered if they wanted her to relay a message for him.

"Yes?" he said. 

Y/N followed his gaze and ushered him aside, away from all prying ears, hoping she was making the right decision. "Listen: you're gonna need to remember what I'm about to tell you while it's fresh on my mind. It's very important."

Bilbo visibly straightened and listened intently, likely assuming that whatever he was going to be told had something to do with the vision she had earlier that day. His nose twitched in anticipation and he nodded for her to go on.

"Is everything all right?" he nervously asked.

She nodded. "Something is going to happen in the near future involving trolls and when that happens, I need you to--"

"Trolls!"

"Shh!" Y/N rapidly waved her hands to shush him and quickly looked around, worried someone may have overheard but thankfully the main focal point of the Company's attention was directed towards their own conversations and nightly routines, though the shushing had turned a couple curious pairs of eyes in their direction, including the now dispersed meeting of the "council". Thorin eyed them from where he was standing and Y/N mentally kicked herself. 

Y/N resumed in a more hushed tone with a forced smile to make it seem like she and Bilbo were merely having a pleasant conversation having nothing to do with anything remotely important to anyone who happened to be watching.

"Yes. Now, listen, you're going to need to stall for time. Just... use your head, but when in doubt, tell the trolls that everyone is infected with parasites. Can you remember that?" He'd think of the idea on his own, she knew, but maybe if she reaffirmed it in his mind preemptively, he'd be able to remember quicker and stall a little while longer in time for Gandalf to return and split the rock.

Bilbo's nose wrinkled in disgust at her strange instructions, trying to understand when he would need to use them, but slowly nodded nonetheless. The bobbing of his head becoming faster once he gained understanding the more he thought on her words.

"Yes, I suppose... I'll do my best to remember. I-I'm sorry, but did you say _ parasites?_"

Y/N sighed, summoning her patience. "Repeat what I've told you."

Bilbo brought up his hand to count the key points of the conversation on his fingers, putting clear emphasis on each thing, "Er... trolls, stall for time, and they're infected with parasites."

"The Company is," Y/N corrected. "But good, that's basically the gist of it. Oh and don't tell anybody what I've told you, understand? If you do, it could have disastrous effects or change what I saw for the worse, so this will be our little secret, okay?"

"Oh! Yes, of course, I promise. What are you doing?" He frowned at the sudden gesture she made in front of him. He looked at her outstretched hand as if it were a puzzle that needed solving but he didn't know where to start.

Y/N had held her pinky out to him. It was a habit from her childhood that she could never quite shake. All of the promises she's made using the 'pinky promise' seemed more meaningful this way and more so, it actually seemed to help keep them solid.

"Sealing the promise. We lock pinkies once a promise is made and that binds it."

As if it made all the sense in the world to him, Bilbo immediately locked his pinky with hers and looked to her for approval.

"Like this? Am I doing it right?" he asked.

"Yup! Okay, the promise is sealed: now you can't break it!" She took back her hand and started off to camp, leaving a bewildered Bilbo behind to look at his pinky in wonder.

Gandalf had taken his rest against the tree near the entrance of the cave and regarded her kindly before puffing on his pipe while he relaxed from the day's travels and mulled over whatever it was that wizards tended to ponder about.

"What happens if you break a pinky promise?" he called, catching up with her, skirting around the wizard in the process.

She looked over her shoulder with all the dread she could muster in her eyes as she tried with all her might to keep a straight face. "Nothing but bad luck and misfortune befalls the poor soul who fails to hold their end of a pinky promise. I pray you never experience it."

Bilbo's eyes were like saucers as he looked once more to his pinky but soon they flared with hurt when she snorted, finally breaking the ruse.

"Did you just... Oh, that was of very poor taste!" The ruffled Hobbit stammered, storming passed her in a huff while mumbling adorably polite obscenities at being tricked in such a way.

"There was truth to it, though!" Y/N protested with an unconvincing giggle, but the Hobbit had built a wall of mistrust, not willing to be taken for a fool again. She grabbed his arm and tugged him back to her.

"C'mon, Bilbo, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to over embellish, I was just having a bit of fun. I hope you know I was being at least partly serious." Y/N dropped her voice, "The bit with the trolls and such was 100% true, I swear! Please don't tell anybody, you pinky swore..."

Bilbo silently judged her, his lips a thin line before sighing dramatically at her pouting face, "Just don't do it again, all right? You made my foot hairs stand on end."

"Promise," she winked.

"Ugh!" he threw up his hands and muttered off. 

When the amused onlooking Fili and Kili confronted her at what she had said to fluster their burglar so, she could only give a teasing shrug and diverted any probing questions they flung at her in hopes of ripping the details out of her. But as she couldn't very well tell them the parts of the vision she had meant only Bilbo to know, this was not received well and they didn't appreciate being left out of this supposed inside joke, so when Bilbo refused to open up to their prying, they vowed to get back at both of them.

"What do you mean you'll get back at us?" Bilbo questioned. 

"Indeed," Kili replied with a devilish grin. 

The Hobbit threw a worried look to Y/N but she only rolled her eyes and turned away to offer assistance to anyone in need around camp. 

"You can always just tell us," she heard Kili say to Bilbo.

"Nope! No, my lips are sealed." Came his reply.

Wise Hobbit. 

* * *

Once the food was fully prepared, Y/N decided to lend a helping hand by distributing the bowls of stew to the Company and served herself last.

The uncertainty of where she should sit must have been plain on her face and the Durin brothers were more than happy to wave her over to sit with them.

Bilbo sat across from her, the teasing all but forgiven and forgotten and he was back to his cheerful self now that he had food.

While everyone enjoyed their meal, Y/N happily answered more questions about her world that the members had seemed to save for when they were all able to relax. There were quite a lot, and many were very perplexing and made little to no sense, but she did her best to answer as best she could.

Supper that night was a stew of sorts, as she assumed would be the norm for basically every night, but she didn't expect it to be as tasty as it was. With a ravenous appetite, she greedily ate up the contents, wondering what exactly it was.

"That hungry, Lady Y/N?" Kili chuckled as he watched her scarf it all down like a starving woman.

"Aye," Fili concurred. "It's nice to see a lass who knows how to eat."

Ignoring their comments, she moaned in bliss.

"It's so good! I've never had anything like it before, what is it?"

Ori helpfully divulged the contents of what the stew consisted of. Wild herbs (some of which supposedly doubled as a nutrition to "help you go"), an array of vegetables they purchased from a Hobbit farm before they left the Shire, animal stock, and finally: rabbit. Y/N froze and stared into her bowl mid-swallow.

While the rest of the men happily ate, all she could think about then was an innocent little bunny hopping along, getting killed, furred, chopped, and stewed. And here she was, eating it.

"What's wrong?" Dori asked when Y/N became quiet. "You don't like rabbit?"

"Who's got a bad habit?" Oin shouted from across the way. Nobody bothered to correct him and he shrugged it off, focusing on his meal.

"Didn't sound that way to me from her moanin' on about it," Nori snickered. 

Suddenly the stew turned into lead in Y/N's stomach. But she hated herself for still wanting more of it. She had never had rabbit, but then again, there were a lot of foods she hadn't eaten before. And when it came down to it, this was no different than eating a cow, chicken, or fish. The main difference in being those types of meats were more commonly eaten and she didn't have to see their faces when they were alive and promptly killed. And more so, rabbits were considered pets over food.

Given where she was, Y/N knew that the food was going to come from its main source: the wild. There wasn't a grocery store or a butcher to be found out here. What you kill is what you eat; it's either that or go hungry. But it didn't make the cognitive dissonance of it all any more jarring for her. 

"N-no, I'm just not used to eating bunnies is all..." she replied almost sadly. 

That spurred on a whole slew of questions in regards to what food was eaten in her world, how she got her food, and so on to which she obliged to the best of her ability. It was a temporary distraction from returning to her food. Dwalin huffed at how she was being silly and should just eat up or someone else will. Bombur perked up at the mention of more food and Bofur admonished him with an affectionate slap to the shoulder.

Fili took a more gentle approach and was able to finally urge her to finish her meal, even offering to swap her meat for his vegetables if she was still on the fence about it (which she was very appreciative of) but Y/N politely declined since Dwalin was glaring daggers at her upon the unintentional insult she gave him. He went out of his way to hunt for them and the least she could do was eat it, especially after proclaiming out loud how delicious it was. She figured she may as well get used to eating bunnies the same way as she'd eat any other animal from back home. 

"Don't mind him," Fili nodded in Dwalin's direction. "He may be broody and rough around the edges, but he's actually quite a sensitive soul -- ah, don’t tell him I told you that."

"Yeah, I caught on to that when I hurt his feelings on his choice of food," Y/N replied distastefully. Even after apologizing and properly thanking him for catching their food amidst their discussion of the foods she typically ate at home, Dwalin wanted nothing more to do with her and it had her sulking.

"He'll come 'round," Fili persisted with a smile.

Kili stretched after eating his fill and slumped against the rock he was leaning against, content and added quietly so only she could hear, "Aye, he's a big softy."

"Best get used to eating all kinds of things out here," Gloin interjected. "A good meal like this may be more and more difficult to come by, if at all." 

"You're right, I know. I'll deal with it, it's just taking some getting used to," Y/N replied.

After supper was had and cleaned, the Company all decompressed from their hearty meal. Y/N continued to stick by the brothers' side and Bilbo kept close to her as well. It wasn't long before Fili and Kili held true on their vow and did their best to bait Bilbo and Y/N with what they hoped would be frightening stories. Y/N remained unfazed much to their dismay, but Bilbo had given an obvious shiver to their teasing which only egged them on. They continued next with unsettling descriptions about Orcs after the howling started and chuckled when Bilbo was notably distressed at how many were likely lurking about out there.

"You think that's funny?"

Thorin certainly didn't think the matter was anything to laugh about. After all, his nephews had grown up in the safety of the confines of the Blue Mountains. They knew nothing of the pain and suffering the Orcs were capable of inflicting firsthand, and had no regard for the seriousness of what they represented to the true dangers of the quest.

Kili, the first one to laugh, was also the first one to apologize, ashamed for disappointing his uncle so.

It was then that Balin regaled the tale of Thorin's first battle with Azog at the Battle of Moria. Y/N had recalled hearing this story many times throughout her dreams and she couldn't help but keep her eyes fixed on Thorin throughout the entire story, only looking over to Kili and Fili to gauge their reactions every once in a while. She could tell that Fili's respect for his uncle had grown considerably, and Kili's face was hardened whilst hearing about the important events that shaped his family's past as he played out Balin's words in his mind.

Everyone listened in to Balin's impeccable knack for storytelling and one by one stood in respect for their uncrowned king once the tale was over. Y/N remained seated. It's not that she didn't want to join them, but she felt it wasn't her place. There was an air of reverence swirling around them. It was so strong her heart softened for Thorin all over again much more fiercely than when she'd been subject to this scene in her recurring dream.

Y/N caught the very real raw pain in Thorin's eyes as he relived that day and she couldn't help but feel humbled by it. Where she came from, she had lived a sheltered life much like Fili and Kili did. There was no way she could relate to such an experience of hardship and loss like he has. No way she could ever possibly understand how that would affect someone and how they see the world and how they feel.

Thorin gave a subtle cant of his head in recognition to the loyalty of those who stood before him, all willing to stand by his side until the end of the quest. To fight to take back what they lost. It was strange, but Y/N had a sudden urge to protect him (and all of them) at all costs in any way that she could. She didn't care how many visions she would get from here on out. She wanted to help, too. And if that was all she was good for, then she would be the best Seer this world has ever seen, even if it killed her.

"And the pale Orc?" Bilbo asked Balin. "What happened to him?"

"He slunk back into the hole whence he came. That filth died of his wounds long ago," Thorin answered, burning in his seething hatred for the one that took his loved ones and home away from him. He strode away from everyone to a secluded spot outside of the cave for a moment of privacy and Y/N struggled with a sudden thought as it popped into her head. Should she tell him the truth, that Azog is in fact alive and is probably hunting them right this moment? Would he believe her even if she did tell him? It was anyone's guess. Her vision wouldn't come to pass for a while yet, so she had no standing validity with the others on whether or not her visions were true. All she had was their faith, but somehow that didn't seem to be enough to bring to Thorin.

And more so, she didn't have the faith of the person who mattered most. _Yet..._

Y/N stood and took a couple steps in Thorin's direction but hesitated going any further.

Those who were still awake had already gotten themselves situated for the night and Balin seemed to sense Y/N's internal struggle at whether or not to approach Thorin.

"Is there something on your mind, lass?" Balin pressed when he appeared at her side.

"I guess you could say that. I need to talk to him about something, but Thorin isn't exactly the easiest person to just mosey on over and have a conversation with."

Balin chuckled through his nose at her peculiar manner of speaking. "Sure he is. If you have something important to discuss, he'll be more than willing to hear it."

She shot him a dubious look. "Yeah, maybe for you or your kin. Me? I'm not so sure... I can't seem to shake the feeling that all I am to him is a bug that needs to be squished. Have you seen the way he looked at me all day today?"

The older Dwarf hummed in understanding at her reluctance in approaching the king. For anyone to say she and Thorin were on friendly terms would be a lie, based on the brusque manner in which she's been treated. "Lady Y/N, I've known Thorin for many years. I've fought beside him and watched him shift from prince, to warrior, to pauper and now to king. He hasn't led the happiest of lives, as you know, so you can understand how that may have hardened him a bit. But don't let that deter you from approaching him with your worries. Thorin is a lad with a heart of gold. He won't turn you away without just cause and you've done nothing to earn that from him. He just takes some warmin’ up to and sometimes he needs to warm up to others."

She gave a meek shrug at the good intent of those words, eyes still fixed on Thorin's back as she fiddled with the ends of her hair. Y/N felt Balin's warm hand pat against her arm as if he were trying to lend her his confidence.

"Don't be afraid to talk to him, lass -- it's much easier than ya think," he reassured.

Y/N smiled in thanks and nodded, feeling a small burst of courage in his words. Balin inclined his head in Thorin's direction to urge her on and that was enough to will her feet forward. Thorin had moved from his current position and was now staring off the overpass of the cliff with his back against the boulder. The calm wind softly tossed his dark hair away from his face and this only served to maintain his ongoing majestic demeanor, which didn't make talking to him any easier for the woman. Damn, he was regal...

With each step bringing her closer, Y/N's heart only seemed to thump louder and louder in her ears until she finally came to a stop near to him. If he registered her presence at all then he gave no acknowledgement of her, so Y/N cleared her throat and put on a friendly smile to mask the bundle of nerves threatening to spill out of her.

"May I sit with you for a bit?" she asked. 

Y/N had hoped her voice was devoid of the timidness she felt as she tried to ignore her heart pounding heavily in her chest. Balin's words echoed in her mind and she latched onto them for strength. Somehow, she had to make Thorin understand that she was on his side, that he could trust her, that she had worth to bring to the table. Thorin gazed at her from the side and gave a subtle nod before he gestured a spot next to him. Y/N climbed over a log near his feet and took a place by his side, being mindful of his personal space.

Ultimately, she didn't know how to bring up Azog without stoking the fiery hatred the king held for the creature. He got so riled up at the very mention of his name that she knew she couldn't just blurt it on out. Considering how she was already nervous, she decided to ease herself into talking to him naturally with casual conversation before dropping that bomb. But first, she wanted to express her thoughts to pave the way for equal ground.

"Look, I'm going to be blunt here," she sighed, focusing her attention to the vast open wilderness that lay before them to avoid his intimidating blue eyes. The sky was a deep, dark navy blanket that outstretched well beyond the places their eyes could reach and filled with the same clouds that appeared on the night she arrived. It expanded upon a legion of mysteries of the land of Middle Earth; all of which rivaled those Thorin Oakenshield carried with him.

Thorin waited patiently for her to continue.

"I know you don't like me or trust me, and I completely understand that. We may not know the reason for my being here yet, but I _ do _know without a doubt in my heart that I'm here to help. I fully intend to do that in any way I can and will tell you everything I know as it comes to me. But because you're so openly distrusting of me, you make it very difficult to approach you and I'd like us to fix that, if we can." 

Her voice wavered only a little; nervousness was but a small flavor on her tongue.

Y/N snuck a peek his way to see that he was watching her curiously before nodding slowly in recognition. "I admire your candor, and I appreciate your honesty," he responded. "But you must forgive me for harboring my suspicions. You know more about my people and myself than we know of you and for every question asked, your answers are vague at best. I know there are things you are withholding from us, but I will not pry. You can understand how my eagerness to trust in you so easily is not as willing as yours."

Y/N recoiled on the inside from his words while he fixed her with his penetrating stare and silently challenged her intentions. It was a clear invitation for her to openly accept or deny his suspicions and she hoped her silence didn't tip the end of the scale that he seemed to favor. Her heart was still thumping, her blood rushing through in quick bursts that would have had her shaking like a leaf if she wasn't conscious of it, but she would not back down or show fear of him. Y/N decided to place the ball in his court and stood up to face him directly, determination stark in her voice and stance.

"Again, I completely understand. And I have my reasons, but you gotta cut me some slack here, I'm from another world and I'm still learning about what it is I've been tasked to do. I know little to nothing about how to survive out here on my own so I'm definitely in no position to have any ulterior motives but more than that, there's nothing for me to benefit from causing you or anyone here harm. You're right: I may know more about you and the Company than you do of me, but I don't know _ everything _about you."

Thorin carefully stewed in her words. There was still a wall there that Y/N had to learn to either climb or break down. 

"But I'd like to," she continued. "In fact, we should spend some time getting to know each other. Lord knows we'll have plenty of time. I promise I'll always be completely honest with you, no matter what. All I'm asking is for you to give me a chance."

Thorin was more stubborn than she would have hoped but she knew he valued a willing heart, loyalty, and nobility above all else, so as long as she could prove herself to him somehow, she knew that she could earn his trust and faith in her without the constant worry of being kicked out at a moment's notice.

It may have been the trick of the light from the fire behind them, or perhaps from the gentle glow of the moon that softly lit the shadows in his face, but something flickered behind Thorin's eyes just then. Something remote to respect and it stirred a hope inside of her.

"I will hold you to your words, Seer. And I accept your proposition, perhaps there is something more to this than we know. But we will worry about that another day. Get some rest, we've a long day of travel at first light."

He gave a quick jerk of his head as indication for her to skedaddle.

And had it not been for that look in his eyes, Y/N would have felt disappointed or dismissed, but she realized that Thorin was granting her the chance to prove herself to him, trusting in her to do it herself without added clauses on his part. Delighted at how well this was going, Y/N refused to fail him; it was a challenge that was very much accepted. 

_ Well_, she thought in relief. _ Balin was right, this wasn't so bad after all! _

She smiled down at him and a small smile appeared in his eyes, though it was absent from his lips. In that moment, Y/N sincerely wanted to do whatever she could, however she could, to earn Thorin's confidence in her. Thinking on all the hardships he endured in his life, with such little kindness bestowed from others, he deserved nothing less.

"You truly do have a heart of gold," she blurted before she could stop herself.

Thorin's eyebrow edged cautiously up to his hairline, unsure as to what drew out this random confession or if she was simply mocking him with it.

"Uh. I mean, y'know for someone who doesn't trust easily, the fact that you're willing to give me the benefit of the doubt to prove myself is humbling. You could have turned me away, but you didn't. And you could have left me on the side of the road, but you didn't."

He gave her a sideways glance. "I would not leave you at the side of the road. The Shire is a much safer place for mysterious otherworldly maids -- and burdensome Hobbits."

"Maybe it's better to trust people than to doubt them, they just might surprise you," she hinted with good nature. 

Thorin eyed her carefully but nodded, "We shall see." 

"Well, I think I talked your ear off long enough for tonight," Y/N laughed nervously and wiped the dirt from the backside of her too-big borrowed trousers. The sleeves of her tunic were also a bit too long; she made a mental note to ask Dori to help her tailor it.

"Goodnight, Thorin. You're going to make a wonderful king." 

She reached a hand over and affectionately gripped his shoulder before parting and she could feel his eyes following after her when she left, only this time, she knew it wasn't to suspiciously monitor her every move and that in itself was more rewarding than breaking the ice. 

Balin was still awake and propped up in his spot in the cove and when he turned to look at her to gauge how the talk went, she gave a giddy smile and thumbs up and he smiled back with an added wink.

It didn't occur to Y/N until much later that she had forgotten the purpose of her talk with Thorin that night. But it was too late to turn around now, so she decided to tell him about Azog sometime in the morning after getting a decent night's sleep. Bofur had already beckoned her over to where he set up his bed roll for her, still holding true to his word that she could sleep there.

"But what about you?" she asked. Y/N would have offered to share, but it was obviously only meant for one person to use, leaving no room for another. He waved his gloved hand to dismiss her concern, but not without a flirty pun that had her rolling her eyes and Dori to throw a warning glare. 

"Where there's a clever Dwarf and a hat," Bofur added as he pointed to his own. "There's a way. Sleep well, lass. See ya in the mornin'!"

She waved him off after thanking him again and managed to capture Fili and Kili's attention in the process.

"Why'd he set you up all the way over there away from the fire?" Fili asked, gathering his things and moving his roll over nearer to her.

Kili hastily followed suit, "Aye, poor Y/N. If it was my blanket you were using, you wouldn't need to worry about staying warm--"

"Oh, shut it with your blanket already!" Fili chided, elbowing him in the side.

Kili smacked him back and quickly thrust his blanket out to Y/N, ignoring Fili's fed up sighs. "Feel this and tell me which is more comfortable," Kili demanded, nodding his head Fili's way as he referenced the opposing blanket in question.

She didn't really care at this point as she was getting tired, but Y/N chose to indulge Kili and reached her hand out to grasp the fabric. Kili smiled expectantly as he watched her rub it against her fingers and Fili rolled his eyes, finishing his bedroll setup and laying down on it with mock diligence.

"Well?" Kili probed.

Y/N looked to Fili, who watched on with a bemused smile, then back to Kili's lit up face and responsed with, "It feels nice?"

That answer seemed to be enough for him to proudly get to work on his own spot and he encouraged her to compare it with his brother's, certain that his would reign supreme. Fili made a comment that insinuated that he didn't care either way, but his eyes told her differently. Dwarves were very competitive, after all. Especially when they were as young as these two were.

Y/N decided to entertain this silly contest and reached over to run her hand across Fili's blanket near his feet. Her eyes narrowed and she leaned over to take another feel at Kili's to compare textures.

"They feel exactly the same," she said flatly, a suspicion that they had successfully teased her had taken root. But based on Kili's expression, that didn't appear to be the case and she didn't know whether to feel relieved or annoyed at this foolish contest.

"They do not!" Kili protested as she reached out to feel them both for himself. 

Fili gave him an indulgent grin and clasped his hands together while watching him fumble. It was obvious that both blankets were of the same make now. The only variant was that of the color scheme. Kili grumbled when he came to that realization but he regained quickly.

"Mine still looks better anyway, doesn't it?" the youngest smiled.

Y/N let out a sigh of exasperation and rolled over, looking over her shoulder at them before turning back around, "I like Fili's color more. Good_night_."

Silence. 

"Oh hush, you," Kili spat upon hearing Fili's amused chuckle.

* * *

She couldn't breathe. It was pitch dark and Y/N couldn't breathe. She was suspended in the air in an invisible mass of thick blackness and struggled to escape to no avail. Y/N felt like she was treading through water but was remaining in place. Her movements were slowed and when Y/N tried to scream for help she found that she couldn't speak. She wanted to get home. She had to get out of there, but how?

Panic quickly settled in along with the frantic mysterious knowledge that she was going to die.

But then there was a light! It was small, and far in the distance, but it was a way out. Y/N reached for it, summoning strength and will in her legs to carry her to safety, and the more she tried, the stronger she felt. The light was only a pinprick in size, but it was getting closer and growing in size as it did.

Somehow with no longer needing to breathe, she focused on getting to that light, knowing it was something of great importance.

But as it drew near, she felt herself beginning to sink in a glowing, invisible muck that soon swallowed her whole until all that remained was a vast, foreboding sense of dread and nothingness.

Y/N awoke with a terrified gasp, not expecting to see a face looming over her. Fili jerked back by reflex to avoid getting headbutted when she sat up. She quickly took in her surroundings to find that it was late at night and she was still at camp. The only sounds to be heard were gentle snores with the occasional snort, the cackle of the fire, various chirps and calls of the nocturnal life, and her heart hammering hard in her ears. It took several seconds before it dawned on Y/N that her head somehow managed to come to rest in Fili's lap while she slept.

"You were having a nightmare," Fili whispered. "Are you all right?"

Y/N sat up fully and blushed in embarrassment, avoiding his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. I'm sorry I woke you." She looked around to see if she stirred anyone else, but thankfully they were all out like lights. She wiped at the beads of sweat on her forehead before realizing that she was soaked with the moisture. It was probably a good thing she wasn't located near the fire after all, but now she worried if she accidentally drenched poor Fili in it.

Fili smiled and shook his head.

"I thought you might have been having another vision, so I came over to check on you and put your head in my lap to steady you in case you began shaking. Must have been some dream to get you tussin' about; you had me worried for a moment."

Y/N pouted in response. It certainly wasn't a dream she wished to take up a recurrence. It was enough having the visions, but if she were to have troubling dreams on top of that, she didn't know how much longer she could last without snapping. But the thought that Fili felt the need to comfort her at the guise that she succumbed to another vision had made her smile; a warmth bloomed in her chest at his concern.

Turning to look at him, Fili adjusted his seated position by bringing his legs up and handed her a cloth that he likely intended to use to wipe away any blood that may have appeared in her nose. She gladly accepted it and used it to dab at her forehead.

"Thanks for checking on me, but next time feel free to just wake me up. I'd rather lose sleep than go through that again."

Fili looked worried, "Was it really that bad?"

"It was." 

He seemed to be waiting for her to continue, but when she didn't Y/N was thankful that he didn't press her for more details. She wasn't sure if it truly was anything worth discussing now that she thought about it. But still, she couldn't shake the unmistakable feeling that there was something more to that dream aside from the unnerving sense of discomfort it brought.

"All right then, as long as you're sure," he said after a beat. Fili made a move to get up. "You should try to get back to sleep. We have a long day tomorrow."

Y/N must have shot him a look of worry, for he stopped in his tracks and lingered. She quickly looked away from him before mumbling, "I'm not really that sleepy anymore. But... you should probably get some rest now. Thanks again for sitting with me and making sure I was okay, I really appreciate it."

When she handed him back the cloth, he awkwardly tossed it between his hands before pocketing it. 

"Would you like me to stay? I'm not that tired, myself."

Y/N winced, thinking she was the reason that kept him from sleeping, but he quickly added, "Oh no, the fault isn't yours. I was already awake when I heard you in distress. I suppose I just have a lot on my mind..."

Y/N smiled in relief and tilted her head, "Like what?"

Fili returned the smile and took her question as an invitation to sit back down. Y/N laid on the bedroll and turned too show him that he had her full attention. He didn't answer right away and appeared to struggle with inward thoughts.

"Is it about the story Balin told?" Y/N offered.

He sighed.

"That's a part of it. Kili and I, we grew up hearing many stories from our uncle. Thorin often told us about his days in Erebor before the dragon came." Fili cast a glance to his sleeping sibling as he recalled stories Y/N knew nothing of. She propped her elbow to rest her head on her hand and continued to listen with renewed interest.

"He would tell us about the forges, the mines, what the halls were like, and how proudly the structure stood upon the mountain for all to see. A truly magnificent sight, he said. Nothing in Middle Earth was as majestic as Erebor."

He paused and smiled fondly at the memory. "When my family lost their home, I knew of the battle of Moria and Thorin's desire to reclaim our homeland someday, but it was different hearing the tale tonight."

"Because the desire is now put into action and you're a part of it," Y/N guessed.

Fili now looked over in the direction where Thorin rested with worry lining his forehead. "I begged and begged Thorin to take Kili and me on this trip. We wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t been so persistent. He didn’t want to take both of us along because of the dangers, but I convinced him that this was our only chance and that we were ready.”

Something crossed Fili’s face then, almost too quickly for Y/N to catch.

“When I was a Dwarfling, I used to pretend I was a warrior like him -- a king. I was so proud and eager to one day take part in reclaiming our homeland that Kili and I would fight great battles of our own making; slaying dragons, killing orcs and going on our own grand adventures in the Blue Mountains to prepare for the day when we would join him in reclaiming it. We did everything just like the stories we were told and would spend hours outside before our Amad called us back in."

Fili smiled softly as he recalled another memory of his carefree childhood and then his expression wavered. "I knew of my birthright from a very young age and a chance like this is all I've ever wanted. And now we're finally on our way home..."

Y/N smirked when that sentence drifted, "I think I sense a 'but' in that sentence."

Fili chuckled softly and turned to her, "Aye. But this will not be anything like when we were young. I don't think Kili understands that yet. To him, this is just another fun adventure to partake in. But when Balin told us the Battle of Moria through his eyes, something inside of me just... shifted and put the true meaning of this quest into perspective. I do not wish to let Thorin down. Anyone. There's a chance that some of us won't make it to Erebor. I worry that…” His view shifted over to the slumbering Kili, “I worry that I won't be able to protect him."

Fili's eyes seemed to take him back in time to the young Dwarf he used to be, even though Y/N knew that that same boy was still alive inside of him. With the weight and importance of the quest now realized, and while Kili had the leisure of being the second prince in line for the crown, Fili was the (un)crowned prince. He understood that they still had a long way to go before they reached Erebor and that anything could happen between now and then. Ranks and titles they were born into now held active meaning and value and he wanted to be alive to experience it, him and his brother. 

Y/N surveyed his face closely. Her heart went out to him and his compassion and drive to protect and succeed and she felt a renewed sense of purpose pumping through her blood -- she had to keep him safe. He deserved to live. 

Fili flicked his eyes to hers and gently cleared his throat. "I'm sorry for unloading such a burden on you at a late hour. I don't know why I did that."

She reached over to place a comforting hand on his knee.

"I'm glad that you told me. I know we aren't close or anything, but sometimes it helps to talk to a stranger about these types of things. I know you probably bear little resemblance to the little King Fili you once were long ago with your wooden swords and paper crowns, but as long as you can remember what it felt like to be him, you have the potential to become so much more than you could have ever dreamed of as a Dwarfling. Thorin had to have seen that if he let you and Kili to come along, right? I have faith in you, Fili, and not because I have the Sight for it. You're going to be all right. You all are -- I’ll make sure of that."

Y/N wasn't sure if her words were truthful, but at the moment, she fully believed in them. She would do everything she could to protect these Dwarves. 

Fili smiled deeply at that, erasing all traces of doubt shadowed onto his face. It was a natural, unrestrained smile that Y/N found herself wanting to see more of. He was burdening himself with grim thoughts much too early in the quest and she hoped he'd be willing to confide in her with any of his troubles again so she could offer him the same comfort that he continues to offer.

"Thank you for your kind words. I hope we may be able to help you return to your home someday."

She felt a sharp tug in her heart right then. Y/N hadn't thought about returning home since she was convinced she was dreaming the whole journey up. But now that she was here, the thought of leaving made her feel a bit sad. "That may very well be an adventure for another time..." she responded quietly. In truth, she had no idea how she would even get back even if she _ was _ready to return. It made less sense to her to fall into the sky, let alone fall out of it like she presumably did.

He winked, "Well, I happen to be an expert adventurer."

"And you'd be willing to shirk your royal duties just to see me off? Why, this honor is far too great for a lowly commoner like myself!" she dramatically bowed her head and heard him hum in disapproval. But when she lifted her eyes to his she found he enjoyed the playful gesture, returning her bow with a graceful swoosh of his hand.

"Think you can spare a wooden sword for the perils we'll face, kind prince?" she winked. 

"We had axes, my lady, not wooden swords," he smirked then.

Y/N rolled her eyes, "Oh excuse me, Mr. Fancy Pants. So, what, did you have flower crowns instead of paper?"

"Not at all," he replied matter-of-factly and then paused for effect. "Kili did. And he made them himself -- Thorin even wore one, too. They were quite prettied up."

Another pause was all that was needed to soak in that imagery and Y/N had to cover her mouth to keep the snort of laughter from spilling out of it and Fili joined in her giggling as they both tried to be quiet. The thought of a little Kili and Thorin with flower crowns was too amazing, she would have killed to see that, and the more she thought of the sight, the more difficult it became for her to stifle her sounds. 

Her eyes strayed to the sleeping Dwarf nearby for a better visual and she was now rolling on the bedroll with Fili shushing her, attempting to quell his own chuckles and looking around to make sure they didn't rouse anyone from sleep. Luck appeared to be on their side and they got to share that moment alone, for the most part.

"I bet he looked absolutely adorable," Y/N whispered once she composed herself. Kili was now turning himself over with a mumble, the dead weight of his arm flopping over with a thud to where Fili would have been laying.

"Oh aye, he was quite precious. And then he grew up."

Y/N's eyes narrowed and she gave him a playful slap, "Be nice, you know he's still cute."

Fili huffed and averted her eyes to look at his brother a moment longer than one would have deemed necessary.

"You think so? Even without a beard?"

Y/N didn't want to jump to conclusions or get ahead of herself, but a part of her felt that Fili might have been a little jealous by her comment. If he was, he masked it well with a smug smirk and indifferent shrug of his shoulders, but he no longer looked her in the eye. She had to remind herself that Dwarves were very prideful and likely had huge egos to go along with it. That combination was a recipe for creating big green monsters. 

"Aww, are you jealous?" she tested playfully.

"Absolutely not!" he scoffed, his eyes momentarily flicked to hers before casting away elsewhere.

Y/N grinned, "Good 'cause you've nothing to be jealous of. You're very handsome, too."

Fili looked at her skeptically and then broke out into a sheepish grin, "I'm afraid I don't believe you."

Her eyes widened, "Why?"

"It would appear that you feel you owe me a compliment after openly giving one to my brother. How insincere."

"Are you admitting you were jealous?"

"Are you admitting to offering me pity?" he retorted smoothly.

Y/N sat up and crossed her arms. Fili had his brow raised but rivaled the cheeky look she was giving him.

"Are you teasing me?" she asked, nudging his knee with her foot.

The grin deepened, "Maybe."

Even though their voices have been lowered for the entirety of the conversation, he leaned over to whisper in her ear, "Or perhaps I just enjoy the sight of the adorable blush you sport whenever you become flustered." 

Her traitorous cheeks reddened considerably at the low octave of his voice in combination to his words and the way his breath tickled her ear. Without knowing why, she cast a quick look around to confirm the Company was still asleep and that the one on watch wasn't gawking at them.

Fili snickered at her sudden bashfulness and that in turn made her feel more bold somehow; a need to retaliate. She smirked and leaned closer to him than she dared and watched his lips part as he remained still. They were almost nose to nose and his eyes darkened slightly as they searched hers questioningly. He leaned slightly backward.

Y/N wanted to have a witty comeback to this innocuous, flirtatious banter, but her mind was running on empty. So she resulted in doing something that would knock him off guard. She placed a kiss on his warm, bearded cheek, allowing her lips to linger there a second longer than the peck she had intended and felt him stiffen. When she pulled away, Fili's eyes were wide and his own cheeks were flushed a satisfactory shade of red which contrasted against his blonde locks.

"W-what was that for? Payback?" he mumbled nervously. It was a stark difference seeing this innocent reaction to an equally innocent gesture.

"Consider that my official thank you, for earlier." 

When he tilted his head in question, she raised her brow. He couldn't have forgotten, could he? Perhaps he was more off guard than she thought.

"When I had the nightmare?" she prompted.

"Ah! Yes, that. You're most welcome," he smiled, blush still apparent.

Y/N grinned triumphantly, "Who's flustered now?"

Fili sighed in defeat and gave a lopsided grin. It was obvious who the victor of this conversation was, "Touche, lass. Well played with your maiden's charms. Are all women from your world this forward, or is it just you?"

"Maybe I just like seeing _ you _get all flustered."

There was a moment of awkward silence settling between them. Both of their faces were still pink and both of them looked everywhere else but at each other. Y/N was surprised that Fili hadn't taken his leave yet, but was otherwise delighted that he remained by her side. It was pretty late and Y/N knew that they'd be up by dawn again before traveling for hours on end. She was just about to suggest sleep when Fili spoke.

"Lady Y/N?"

"Psh, just Y/N is fine. I'm certainly no lady."

Fili smirked and sat more comfortably by crossing his legs.

"'Just Y/N'," he jested, taking up that playful tone again that was more fit in Kili's voice than his. 

Y/N squinted her eyes at him in her best impression of looking fierce. She received little success and tapped at her head, "Careful, Goldie Locks, I've got some choice nicknames for you stored in here."

Fili laughed through his nose so as not to wake anyone. "What does this mean? I saw you do that with Mister Baggins earlier," Fili held out his pinky to her, turning his wrist as if he wasn't sure which way it should be facing.

"He and I made a pinky promise. Whenever you make a promise with someone, you lock pinkies to seal it so the other person knows you'll follow through on your words."

"Ah..."

Fili hummed in contemplation as he eyed his pinky before he held it out to her, "Then allow me to properly promise to guard you from the horrors of your nightmares and wake you from them should ever you need saving."

Y/N would have laughed at that if he didn't look as serious as he did. Although Fili had a sure smile on his lips, he did appear to genuinely offer her his word, even if it was over something as simple as waking her from a nightmare. But Y/N felt a flutter spread in her chest because she knew without a doubt that pinky or no, Fili would do just as he vowed in anything he promised. 

Returning his grin, she locked her smallest digit with the kind Dwarf, relishing in the warm temperature of his hand and observing fondly the difference in size from hers.

"Hopefully it's not too often or else you won't get any sleep either," she said, their knuckles met and their thumbs brushed together, at the beginnings of a thumb war.

Fili shrugged, looking at their hands with her, "I've never been much of a deep sleeper. Kili on the other hand..." They both gazed over to the sleeping dark haired prince who now laid sprawled out, mouth agape, and had just begun sawing logs. The two shared another quiet giggle. Fili turned back to her and his eyes softened with his thoughts.

"Do you have any siblings?" he asked. When she answered him, he nodded and looked to his brother again with a sad expression.

"Taken from your home and loved ones, robbed of your memories, and given painful visions and nightmares... You have such rotten luck, it seems."

"Nah," Y/N responded, looking down at their pinkies still joined together, thumbs touching. "In some strange way, I feel more lucky now than I've ever been."

Of all places to wake up in, and with all she could have stumbled upon, this lot surely wasn't bad at all.

"Aye," Fili concurred softly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you all! Thank you for reading -- your comments and support make my day. <3


	5. One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin is being unreasonable, Y/N and Fili learn that their private conversation last night was... not so private, and Kili and Fili find themselves in an unfavorable situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll probably be apologizing on every chapter for always taking so long to update -- I swear this series will not be abandoned! I'm constantly working and reworking the chapters while balancing the day job and life (boooo!) but fear not, gentle readers! More chapters are on the way. I love reading your comments, they give me life! <3

“I suppose you want to ask me how I did it,” said Nori from over his shoulder. Y/N expressed her false interest for him to continue with his story with a nod and hearty "tell me!", however, she wasn’t paying much attention to him; something to do with how he acquired a “keepsake” from someone or other at an inn he stumbled into once upon a time. 

Even as he disclosed more details and chatted on, Y/N’s eyes were busy boring holes up ahead, aiming at the target she was annoyed at several ponies in front of them and her thoughts were still replaying the conversation she had with Thorin early that morning along with the events that led up to it. 

* * *

_ Y/N was jostled awake from a much welcomed dreamless sleep by Bilbo tripping over her and falling on Kili in the process, letting off a series of yelps and shouts of pain. Kili rolled over and groaned and the Hobbit hustled to his feet frantically apologizing to both of them as he was laughed at by the onlookers. _

_ “That’s one way to wake up,” Bofur chuckled, casually stepping over her. _

_ Y/N scowled up at him, rubbing the place on her chest that bore the brunt of Bilbo’s clumsy foot. “I was looking forward to a more quiet method but yeah -- _ ** _now _ ** _ I’m awake.” _

_ Upon hearing that, Bilbo shot her another apologetic look before being whisked away to help with the morning tasks. _

_ “If it’s a nice, quiet waking yer wantin',” Bofur reached his hand out for Y/N to take to help her on her feet. “I’m afraid yer in the wrong company.” _

_ Boy, that was more true than she would ever know. _

_ “You okay, Kili?” Y/N asked. _

_ He grimaced but sat up with no issue. “Aye. You?” _

_ “I’m awake,” she responded in a surly tone, which earned her a chuckle from both dwarrows. Looking around, she noticed that Fili was gone, as were a few others but she knew they couldn’t have gone too far. _

_ Y/N’s ears had begun adjusting to the sounds of her companions bustling around her, growing in volume as more were woken up. Bofur assisted Y/N with packing up his bed roll and tending to his pony and with one remark about her unsightly bedhead, they dove into a heated battle of verbal jousting. Namely: puns and jokes. _

_ While the early morning levity roused many a-laughter among the Dwarves, there were those who were not as appreciative of the rising plane of maturity levels. And they made sure their opinion was known and expressed. _

_ “I have _ ** _never_**_!” Dori about flipped his lid, becoming living earmuffs for Ori who didn’t appear to mind the innuendos despite flushing a deep scarlet at the content. The youngest’s surprised chuckle was a giveaway that he found the back and forth quite amusing, but his mother hen of a brother was having none of it. _

_ “I had expected this type of language from Bofur, but Miss Y/N!” Dori tutted. “I’m surprised at you! This is not how a proper lady should behave! Where on earth did you learn such-such…” He waved a free hand from Ori’s ear as he struggled for the word. Ori was trying to escape his older brother’s clutches to no avail. _

_ “Amazing conversation topics? No clue, but I like it! Y/N, you’ll fit in just fine here,” Bofur added unhelpfully, with no ounce of shame. _

_ “Goodness,” Dori grimaced in distaste, escorting himself and his younger brother away before Bofur could make it worse. Balin’s disapproving watchful eye had them toning it down. He was ready to step in if they continued to get out of hand. _

_ “Not that I mind in the slightest,” started Bofur. He paused a moment, throwing a look over to Balin and Dori and continued softly, “but does everyone in your world talk that way?” _

_ “All the time. It’s common to hear people swear in public or talk like sailors. Usually, it’s in the company of friends, not so much one person approaching a complete stranger and telling them such… y’know.” Y/N waved her arm to indicate the words mother hen and “grandpa” were on the lookout for them not to say anymore. _

_ Bofur laughed. “Oh, aye? Folks are a wee bit more reserved here than that, I’m afraid. Best that ye keep such wonderfully colorful language between us friends. I wouldn’t want ya offendin’ the wrong fellow unknowingly.” He gave a playful nudge with his elbow. _

_ “I know… I need to work on that. It’s hard, though! It comes second nature to me.” _

_ Bofur lifted his finger and opened his mouth to say something very filthy in return but snapped his mouth shut at the sharp throat clearing of Balin, looking on with his stare leveled and his arms crossed. _

_ “I haven’t even said anythin’!” Bofur protested to him. _

_ “You were thinking about it, and that’s enough,” Balin answered sternly. _

_ The two shared another giggle and shrug as they were finishing up with packing up Bofur’s things but put a stop to the humor and changed to more appropriate, albeit less entertaining, topics. Shortly after, Fili returned with Kili and Dwalin at dawn with refilled waterskins for everyone. There was no time to prepare a warm meal since Thorin wished to get as early a start as possible, so the Company quickly gathered their belongings and relieved themselves so that they could take off after breaking their fast with the vegetation, bread, and leftovers brought in from the Shire -- rations were made to make the provisions last as long as they could until the next warm meal could be had, if any. Fili handed Y/N her waterskin, tossing Kili his, and gave her a quick smile before walking passed and handing out everyone else's. _

_ Y/N’s sight bounced around the camp and how lively they all were. She was anything but a morning person, and she couldn’t help but feel like she got hit by a truck and everyone else seemed to be up and at 'im meanwhile she was feeling worse for wear having gotten little to no sleep after Fili parted last night. She couldn’t fathom how Fili even looked as well rested as he did while she, in Bofur’s words from earlier, looked like an armpit. As there was nothing left for anyone to do now but wait for food to be eaten and bathroom breaks to be finished, Y/N took a seat by the empty fire pit and got to work on her bedhead with Kili offering his visual assistance as she raked her fingers through her hair. _

_ “How’d you sleep?” Kili yawned from beside her. _

_ She lost the battle at keeping his contagious yawn at bay, which made him chuckle when she failed to ward it off with a heaping yawn of her own that made her jaw crack. _

_ “Eh. Had a hard time falling asleep and that crude awakening we had didn’t help. Should have gone camping more at home while I had the chance... this is going to take some getting used to.”_

_ Kili nodded thoughtfully then gave a quick look around before he leaned down to mumble in her ear, “Well, perhaps if you weren’t up all night flirting with my brother you would have gotten some proper beauty rest.” _

_ Y/N flinched away from him with wide eyes, a traitorous pink blush painting her face once more as her eyes shot to Fili -- who was busy talking to Balin. Bofur watched her conversation with a raised brow across from them while he cleaned out his pipe, but she was unsure if he had heard given his distance. _

_ At least nobody else seemed to hear, either. _

_ “What’re you talking about?” she asked quietly. _

_ Kili grinned devilishly. “You know exactly what I’m talking about.” _

_ Y/N busied herself with detangling and smoothing her hair as best she could, still appalled and not entirely sure if that was even true, “I’m thinking maybe someone had a vivid dream and nothing else.” At least that thought gave her some consolation on the subject. Kili was sawing logs last night, for godsakes! Besides, they were quiet. There's no way he could have heard them. Right? _

_ “I am not as deep a sleeper as Fili thinks,” he finished with a wink. “I find it all rather--wait, Y/N, come back! I just wanted to know— Mahal, I meant no harm!” _

_ But Y/N didn’t want to be anywhere near him out of pure embarrassment. Flirt? What flirt? There was no flirting going on! Period. Exclamation mark. Make that a double exclamation mark for good measure. _

_ Instead, she decided to look like she was busy preparing the saddles on the ponies even though everything was all set and ready. If Kili had heard them last night, what if someone else did, too, and got the wrong idea? Her worried eyes scanned the members of Thorin’s ragtag band of Dwarves wondering who else could have overheard or saw. She didn't think anything of it at the time, what with being awoken quite crudely to a nightmare with her head in Fili's lap, she didn't have a mind to question how it might have looked for someone else -- or the kiss on the cheek! Oh no. _

_ She pinched the bridge of her nose in annoyance. Whereas a kiss on the cheek where she was from was meant as an innocent gesture, she had to wonder if it meant anything more taboo here in Middle Earth. And if the wrong pair of eyes got to seeing it and blabbed their mouth? It could undo the reputation she was trying to build for herself with the Dwarves. And, more importantly, the Dwarven king. _

_ Damnit, Kili! she growled to herself. _

_ From the corner of her eye, she saw Fili and Kili speaking to one another in hushed voices that looked to be evolving quickly into a brotherly quarrel. She took a wild guess as to what they were discussing. _

_ Great. Always a lovely sight after a guilt-and-run such as this. Now they were talking about her. _

_ Occasionally one of them would look in her direction but the conversation soon ended with Kili being shoved aside and Fili storming his way over to Y/N, but she didn't want to talk about it just yet. So, she casually dispersed from the gentle beasts to meet with Gandalf before Fili got too close, thinking now was a good a time as any to ask if they were still on course for Rivendell. _

_“Good morning!” Y/N greeted. _

_ The wizard turned to smile at her. God, even Gandalf seemed raring to go and he was much older than she was! “Good morning to you, dear Y/N.” _

_ “You got a minute?” _

_ Fili saw that Y/N's attention was preoccupied, so she watched from the corner of her eye as he lingered nearby. But she knew that she wouldn't be able to avoid him forever; she just hoped last night wouldn't be brought up again. Y/N refocused on Gandalf -- as it was just the two of them, Y/N reaffirmed Gandalf’s traveling plans which, indeed, had them headed for Rivendell like she hoped. She didn’t bother hiding her relief from him, which made the wizard chuckle. _

_ “I am surprised that you seem so shocked. I was sure you had already foreseen or known where we were going,” he mentioned quizzically. _

_ “I did, sorta,” she admitted, noticing Fili finally retreating back to his brother in the corner of her eye. _

_ Kili’s look of apology met her from across the way when she finally looked in their direction. Fili was busy tying up his boots by his brother’s side, but then his eyes looked up to hers and his actions slowed as he offered her a sweet, dimpled smile that had her smiling along with him. Kili offered a small smile as well but she rolled her eyes and turned away, still annoyed at him for teasing her. _

_ Kili pouted in response and set about tightening up his own boot laces in a huff. _

_ “It seems you’re fitting in rather well,” Gandalf coughed to get her attention. _

_ Y/N wheeled around as if she was just caught doing something she wasn’t supposed to. Last night creeping into her mind once again and how it could be easily misread. Oh no... did Gandalf see what happened last night? _

_ The wizard gave her a knowing look and she sighed, suddenly not knowing why she was so embarrassed about the situation and still not knowing if anyone else knew about it. Fili and she didn’t do anything gossip-worthy last night; she looked to be having a vision, so he went to her aid. Then they just talked. And she gave him a peck on the cheek. _

_ Big deal! _

_ Why she even fathomed to allow anyone, or herself, to blow it out of proportion was beyond her. If anything, she was the one who was making mountains out of molehills. And until someone said anything about it, she was going to treat it with the minute levity it deserved. _

_ “What do you mean?” she asked with renewed confidence. _

_ The wizard’s wise eyes twinkled and he put on an innocent expression that made him resemble an endearing grandfather. “I mean precisely what I said. Are you suggesting I meant otherwise? That I am perhaps hinting at a more deeper intention than that of getting along with your fellow comrades?” _

_ Y/N quickly shook her head, unwilling to test him any further, “Nope.” _

_"Very well then. Ah, let’s have some breakfast, shall we? We have quite the traveling to do today,” he winked. _

_ As Gandalf made his way over closer to where breakfast rations were being distributed, Y/N’s eyes searched for Thorin next. She wanted to tell him about Azog while she still had a chance, but he had sat himself down beside Dwalin and Balin and was currently digging into the food that Oin was distributing around to everyone. _

_Not wanting to disturb him while he was eating, she circled around in search of a seat. Kili called and waved her over and she gave a nod of confirmation and waited for Oin to hand her her share but Fili sidled up beside her and held up three helpings of food to indicate he'd gotten her portion already and gestured Y/N over to where he intended to sit so she could join him. _

_ Y/N was handed her breakfast of bread and cheese, trying to hide the blush on her cheeks by sitting next to Fili with Kili’s words fresh in mind. Even though she reached a conclusion to not make a big deal of the not-big-deal thing that happened last night, she had to create a mantra: that nothing happened. Because it didn’t! God, she was getting worked up for no reason at all again which was present in the way she was eating her food: in blatant annoyance. _

_ “Y/N,” Kili started cautiously, making it obvious that he intended to further their earlier discussion with an apology, most likely. _

_ “It’s fine, Kili,” she interrupted with a reassuring smile. “I’m over it.” _

_ “I knew it. What did my brother do?” Fili asked, passing over the comb and glaring at Kili. _

_ Y/N munched and chewed her breakfast quickly to offer a response before Kili could and ended up talking with her mouth full in her hurry, “Nothing, just a little misunderstanding that I overreacted to,” then pointedly to Kili, “That’s. It.”_

_ “There you have it,” said Kili to Fili. _

_ Fili didn’t appear satisfied with her answer but Kili only offered him a pleased smile as he dug into his food. _

_ Fili leaned close to her ear to whisper so only she could hear, “You’re certain everything is all right?” _

_ “Promise,” she wiggled her pinky at him before returning to her food. He still seemed concerned, but he let it go since her mood was obviously more lifted. _

_ A short while later after camp was fully packed and ready to move forward, Y/N seized an opportunity to snag Thorin for a quick forewarning. “Thorin, can I speak to you for a second?” Y/N asked. _

_ He regarded her before turning to his men, “We head out in five minutes, get the ponies ready! What did you need?” _

_ As soon as he refocused on her, she took a breath, noticing that Dwalin was lingering nearby, eyeing them -- rather obviously at that. _

_ The warrior was making it clear that he had no intention of leaving, so Y/N resumed to lower her voice, “There’s something I need to say to you. It’s about the story Balin told last night.” _

_ “What of it?” he made it clear how irrelevant he thought this conversation was before it even started. Y/N frowned, almost not wanting to tell him at all due to his attitude, but she regained herself. It was important and she wanted Thorin to be aware to avoid the inevitable surprise of finding out on his own later. _

_ “Azog isn’t dead. He’s hunting us right now.” _

_ Thorin’s eyes narrowed, “Have you any proof?” _

_ Y/N deadpanned. Was he serious? From the looks of things, that would be a big yup. Not this shit again! _

_ Had their conversation last night never happened? Was it all in her head? Dwalin wandered closer after gauging the situation as a silent spectator. His eyes flicking between both of them cautiously as he crossed his arms. _

_ “No, but I would hope that my word would be evidence enough considering the circumstances.” _

_ Thorin sighed, seemed to ponder on something with great annoyance as he pinched the bridge of his nose, and then nodded. _

_ “Very well, and what do you propose we do about it?” _

_ Y/N paused. “What do you mean?” _

_ “Was this another part of your vision that you refused to divulge during our meeting? I would think the severity of the matter would have been brought up if it proved to be as threatening as you are implying.” _

_ She didn’t exactly have an answer to that. Sure, she planned to give him the heads up, but she also expected him to take her more seriously, but Thorin seemed convinced that she was trying to fool him. More frustrating still was she couldn’t figure out why. Maybe he was just so sure that he killed Azog in the battle of Moria by seriously wounding him that him being alive couldn't possibly be a veritable probability. _

_ Dwalin joined Thorin’s side, curiously overlooking the conversation between them while Thorin waited for Y/N’s response. The Company had given him notice that they were ready to head out whenever he was and all of a sudden, Y/N felt three inches tall again under both of their hard stares. _

_ Not appreciating her kindness and help being swept under the rug, she decided to do just that with this conversation: sweep it aside and change topics. Maybe she could try again later. _

_ “Nothing,” she spat. “I just thought you would have wanted to know. Who do you want me to ride with today?” _

_ “Your insight is noted. You can ride with Nori. We’re leaving!” Thorin announced. _

* * *

And that was that. 

Dwalin caught the look she was giving Thorin’s unsuspecting back and had a rather unpleasant look in return to throw right back at her. She softened her gaze and sighed in defeat, feeling like a child who didn’t get their way. This was ridiculous. The whole thing. But she should have known. What proved more annoying was Dwalin’s undying loyalty to Thorin even extended to social interactions; he would go so far as to defend his friend from a mere, unthreatening glare by an otherworldly woman.

Even now, well after Y/N had stopped glaring daggers at Thorin she caught Dwalin glancing back to her on occasion and she would quickly avert her stare, or smile at him if she was caught looking. He obviously wasn’t fooled. Whatever suspicion Thorin had for her was shared with his right-hand chum.

This wouldn’t do. She had to stop getting so riled up by their animated personalities and focus on earning their trust -- especially Thorin’s. She couldn’t very well have a good go of it by butting heads with him each time they disagreed. She engaged in Nori’s story and chuckled whenever appropriate before turning her thoughts outward to a pack of Orcs tracking them. 

_ How far behind are they? _ She wondered. She didn’t want to focus too much on it if there was a way to still warn them ahead of time. Maybe she could get Thorin to listen to her. But how? From out of the blue, someone started a lively song which engaged the group for a few minutes of much needed merriment and distraction before the rain started.

“Oi! Lady Y/N!” Nori said from over his shoulder as he fumbled with something in front of him. “Why didn’t you tell us it would rain? I would have been more prepared! Och, my hair!”

Coming from someone who had the fortune (and convenience) of a hooded cloak to somewhat shield themselves from the sudden downpour while Y/N was left to be drenched down to wet rat status, she didn’t want to dignify him with a response.

The rain was much colder than she thought it would be. She hugged herself to stay warm and tried to suppress her shivers as she leaned against Nori’s back to try and soak up the heat he was radiating. 

“Hush, Nori!” Dori scolded before calling out to the Wizard ahead. “Mister Gandalf! Can’t you do something about this deluge?”

“It is raining, Master Dwarf. It will continue to rain until the rain is done. If you wish to change the weather of the world, you should find yourself another Wizard,” he replied wistfully. 

At that, some of the Dwarves looked expectantly at Y/N and she returned each stare with a quirked eyebrow. 

“Don’t look at me, do I look like a wizard to you? I can’t predict the weather any more than he can.” This was true, although if she wasn’t so busy grumbling over Thorin all morning, she would have remembered to tell them that rain was coming.

“Are there any?” Bilbo questioned. 

Gandalf called an affirmative over the rain and then promptly began naming off the other four wizards of Middle Earth.

At this point, Y/N tried to recall the next course of events that were to unfold for them when Fili sidled his pony next to Nori’s, robbing her from her thoughts. Squinting down from the rain to see better, Fili offered her a smile from under his hood.

“How are you faring, ‘just Y/N’?” he asked cheekily. 

Knowing she already looked like a wet mop, she gave him an obvious look and gestures demonstratively at herself and he chuckles. With an outstretched arm while the other was holding the reins of his pony, Fili handed over a thick bundle of cloth. 

“You can borrow this for now. Don’t want you to get sick in this sudden torrent,” he said. Y/N gratefully accepted what revealed to be his blanket and carefully wrapped it around herself as a makeshift cloak and held the parting with her hand so that it didn’t fall open. Due to how dense the fibers were, it was only damp and warm, not soaking wet; smelling of earth and Fili’s scent.

He added, “There. That ought to hold you over until this passes.”

“Thanks,” she smiled. “I can handle a little rain. But at least it isn’t humid out. My hair already suffered enough as it is…”

“Oi!” Nori called from over his shoulder. “Don’t ya start on about ruined hair, lassie! It’ll take me two hours to get my beard righted proper.”

Y/N opened her mouth to retort, but Fili came to her aid, “Mister Nori, _ you _have a cloak. Lady Y/N was left to face the rain without a hood, how do you think she feels?”

“Our Master Burglar doesn’t have a hood, either! You gonna come to his rescue, too, Fili?” Nori snipped.

“Mister Baggins is not my concern -- besides, his hair needs no saving; it’s so short.” Then to Y/N, “Good luck with this knucklehead here. Stay warm! I’ll see you at camp.” 

Y/N was left feeling warmer from Fili’s kindness and words than his blanket to the point that it completely erased how irked she was for Thorin’s dismissive attitude that morning. She turned around to sneak a peek at him again, but Fili was preoccupied with speaking with Bofur, who was a bit put out that his pipe was too wet to light. 

“Honorable lad,” Nori mumbled, bringing her head back around. “Shoulda thought of that m’self. Sorry, lass. Are ya cold back there?” 

She shook her head on impulse but answered, “No, this blanket is keeping me warm. But thanks.” 

“Here.” Nori fumbled with something in front of him and then passed her a large pin over his shoulder. It was intended for holding cloaks together. She smiled and gave him an appreciative hug after fastening it on. 

“Well, well! You’re pretty honorable, too, Nori!” Y/N said in his ear. 

“Just didn’t want to be outdone, is all,” came his defense, though she heard the grin in his voice. It was charming how such a small compliment could inflate a Dwarf's ego. 

Eventually the rain let up and the Dwarves were in much lighter spirits over it, even though most had complained that a much needed replaiting was due, but they jumped at the opportunity to tend to their locks on their ponies once the rain stopped and showed no signs of returning. 

Y/N was wistful at not being able to see to her own hair even though it was tied back. No doubt it could need some retouching of its own but the Dwarves were very protective of their combs and brushes and were stingy little buggers when it came to asking if she could borrow one. That “honor” was bestowed only upon family and lovers, apparently. A deep grunt had Y/N turning her head to a wily Bifur. He pointed at her hair and made a wild gesture with his fingers as if to tell her that she looked a mess. Feeling very self-conscious, she ducked her head in shame and went about pulling the hood back over her head when Bifur grunted fervently and waved his hand for her to stop. 

In his other hand, he handed over a wooden comb. It looked highly feminine in its carving, so Y/N knew there was no way that it was his. 

“That’s what you were whittlin’ away on back there? Aw, mighty kind of ya, lad!” Bofur chimed in from beside him. 

“You made this for me?” Y/N asked, completely in awe by how smoothly sanded and perfectly shaped it was. It even had engravings carved in! Looking closer, she saw that it was decorated in flowers and a mountainscape. The design was on both sides. “It’s awesome! Thank you.” 

Bifur nodded once and mumbled something in Khuzdul before falling behind. Bofur smiled and his pony took Bifurs’s place as she traced her fingers over the grooves and turned the comb over. “No more armpit head for you, lass!” 

Throwing the silly-hatted Dwarf a playful glare, she set about combing through her tangled locks before securing it back up in her ponytail and pocketing her new comb. 

“That was so nice of him, I wish there was something I could do to return the favor.”

“I wouldn’t. Not unless yeh fancy the lad. Exchangin’ gifts and tokens between two people in our culture tends to lead to courting,” Bofur explained. “But if you do happen to like ‘im, I can make some helpful suggestions on what he might like—”

“No, no, no! Oh god, no. Wait… then--then was this…?” She pulled out the comb and looked behind her at Bifur wide-eyed. Bofur and Nori belted out into hearty laughter. 

“Och, lass, don’t let Bofur pull yer leg,” Nori snorted.

“Oi, I wasn’t pullin’ ‘er leg—”

Nori interrupted Bofur with, “That comb was just a kind gesture. Courting gifts, or tokens of interest, tend to revolve around the intended suitor offerin’ fine jewelry or weapons—”

“--or _ hair accessories, _” interjected Bofur, causing Y/N’s extinguished worry to flare up once again. “But those are usually more extravagant and elaborately made. The comb was just somethin’ that Bifur whipped up real quick; if he fancied ya, he would have made it out of something much more precious than wood.”

“Christ, don’t scare me like that,” she chided both of them with a big sigh of relief. 

“Christ?” the two questioned under their breaths to one another. That was not a conversation she was ready to have with any of them yet. 

“Nevermind. Thanks for the inside scoop — I’d hate to offend anybody or send off the wrong signal,” she said. 

“Don’t worry yer wee head. If a lad has any intent to court ya, there’ll be no doubt about it,” Nori assured. 

Bofur backed him up confidently with, “We dwarrows tend to be very upfront and straightforward fer this sort of thing, so if we like a lass, we tend to just come out with it and say it.”

“Good to know,” Y/N smiled. 

As the hours ticked by with song and chatter, the lot finally approached the next camp of an abandoned farm house. Y/N’s heart quickened in her chest as she took in the old, decrepit structure; remembering what lay just around the corner from here. She had tried to side with Gandalf in moving camp onward by way of enthusiastically agreeing with him but Thorin would hear none of it. The very mention of elves had rendered any getting through to him impossible.

Gandalf, just as she dreamed, stormed off and all she could do was watch on helplessly. Everything happened so fast that she couldn’t even announce to anyone that this was precisely what she dreamed, let alone what would occur after. She still didn’t even know if she should tell them anything at all without knowing what her vision even meant first. But before she could even say anything about it, Bofur noticed the worry on Y/N’s face and swept her under his care. He was the direct distraction that kept Y/N’s mind busy until she all but forgot what would happen by nightfall.

* * *

“Why are _ we _on pony duty?” mulled Kili, kicking at a large, rounded stone to see how far it would go into a thicket of trees. Fili shrugged, leaning up against a tree trunk and observing the ponies happily munching away on grass without a care in the world. 

“I’m sure it isn’t personal. I’m more concerned about Lady Y/N. She seemed really unsettled after Gandalf left.” If he and his brother hadn’t been appointed to the ponies, he would have sought the lass out to see if there was anything he could do to ease her worries. Maybe even talking through it — Durin knew that helped him.

At the mention of her name Kili rolled his lips in and nonchalantly reached up to run the pads of his fingers over his stubble. He was still hurt over her jab at him for it and wasn’t sure if she meant what he said or if it was just to make Dwalin feel better after Kili teased him. Fili had assured him it was likely the latter, but he was still feeling a tad self-conscious. It seemed every attempt at getting Y/N to smile or laugh was backfiring. Then again, he never was very good with women... He overheard her say something to Fili last night that piqued his interest and since he couldn’t bring it up with her without causing the lass to run off, perhaps Fili would be more accommodating. 

Putting his head back in the conversation, Kili asked, “Do you think she dreamed that would happen?” Jabbing his thumb to the Company camped up behind them. 

“It’s possible. It’s hard to know what’s going on in that mind of hers. Thorin seems as distrustful as ever which isn’t helping matters any.” 

Kili spotted a peculiar expression fluttering across his brother’s face.

“You believe her,” Kili noted with a faint grin. 

Fili sighed and ran a hand through his braided hair. He wanted to believe her. She seemed sincere and had given them no cause not to trust what she said. Fili knew firsthand how defenseless she was in this world, especially when she had that vision, and how distressed she became while she had that nightmare. He thanked his Maker for being an older brother, so he knew what to do to console Y/N during her night terrors just as he had done with Kili in the past. 

She calmed down instantly when he cradled her head in his lap and he muttered soothing phrases in Khuzdul, just as his mother taught him. Poor thing... she seemed like she was getting along well, but who knew how she was really faring with being in a new world surrounded by strangers. Male strangers.

Fili didn’t know why he felt so protective of the girl. They weren’t bonded, close, or kin. But there was something… Something he wasn’t quite sure about. All he knew for certain though was that Y/N fell from a rainbow sky from another world in strange clothing and footwear, had an interesting manner of speaking, her insight of Bilbo joining the quest came to pass, and (most importantly) he gave his word in promise to both his uncle and her in regards to keeping her safe. 

Fili looked at the pinky he hooked with Y/N’s and recalled the sweet words she said to him when he unburdened himself and couldn’t help but smile in remembrance of her kindness, “Everyone needs to be believe in something.”

“Aye,” the brunette confirmed in a wary drawl. There was a few moments of silence between them. Nothing but the chirping of insects and soft neighs and whinnies of the ponies grazing filling the air. 

“So... what was last night about then?” Kili asks casually, picking up a long blade of grass to wind around his fingers. 

Oblivious to what Kili was hinting at, Fili tilted his head, “Hm? Which part?”

Kili tried to look disinterested and focused on knotting up the blade in his hand. “I might recall waking amidst a sound sleep to a little discussion being had between you in the middle of the night…”

He risked a peek Fili’s way to gauge his response and the blonde had a hand over his face in exasperation, as he expected.

“So that’s what got her all flummoxed this morning,” Fili sighed. “Kili, why would you tease her about that? It was supposed to be a private conversation.”

Kili raised an eyebrow, “In all fairness, you both were right in the middle of camp talking amongst yourselves, and not very quietly, I might add — if you don’t wish to be overheard, than keep your voices down next time.”

Fili had nothing to say against that because Kili was right. Even though he and Lady Y/N didn’t speak about anything obscene, he was worried that perhaps someone overheard him speaking his worries to her… Mahal, if Thorin or Kili knew what he said--

“So, what did you hear?” Fili decided to just come right out and get to the point. Kili shrugged a shoulder and tossed the grass, swapping it for the smooth stone given to him by their mother. He thumbed the runes etched into the material and looked everywhere but his brother and for a moment Fili braced himself for hurt or anger to be thrown his way. They discussed a lot of things last night and Fili wasn’t sure which bits had made it through to Kili. Without hearing the full context, any part of the conversation could be taken the wrong way or unintentionally upset him.

“She called you handsome and you didn’t believe her because of something she said about me — I didn’t stir early enough to catch that part. Then you called her blush adorable, can’t fault you for that!” Kili chuckled at Fili’s smirk and continued, “Then you made a promise and said I was a heavy sleeper — which is true, under usual circumstances.”

Fili sighed and shook his head fondly, ruffling Kili’s hair who shirked away with an affectionate shove, “You little scoundrel.” 

Fili was relieved that Kili didn’t wake earlier in their discussion to hear his concerns for him — Kili was young and proud, and quite a sensitive soul. He would take Fili’s worries at not being able to protect him as a sign that he thought him inadequate in some way. But at least he better understood the altercation between the two of them more clearly now and explained why Y/N seemed so ruffled. 

Fili wondered offhand if perhaps he had made her feel uncomfortable in some way, too. But then again, she was the one who initiated kissing his cheek. He blushed anew at the thought.

“Fili?” The tone of voice suggested that this wasn’t the first time Kili had called him. 

“Hm?”

Kili looked visibly sheepish. A rare sight that only Fili was granted the audience of seeing. “I’m sorry for listening in to you both last night, I couldn’t help but overhear as I was sleeping right there, but…” Fili canted his head to encourage him to go on. “What compliment did she pay to me?” 

Fili thought to tell him to go ask her himself, but the innocent, pleading look in those big brown eyes had tugged at his heartstrings until he gave in. Besides, asking Y/N to divulge such a confession might push her further away from his brother than before and Kili already had mucked up well intended conversations in the past. He decided to indulge him, knowing his self-esteem could use a much needed boost. 

“She said that she thought you were cute — even without a beard.”

Kili’s hand shot up to touch the stubble on his cheek but he quickly lowered it to subdue his shock and glee, “She did? Hrm, I mean… I thought that was the case!”

Kili tried to appear aloof, but his radiant smile had blown that facade out into the open; he was ecstatic that someone actually found him attractive. Fili smiled along with him and turned his attention to his boots. He reached a hand up to tug on his mustache braids, recalling when Y/N had told him she like those best and tried to picture what men looked like from her world. Did they have intricate beards, too? What styles did she prefer? Did she like Kili’s facial hair more than his own?

And _ why _did he suddenly care about that? 

Swaggering around like a proud peacock Kili pocketed his stone and stuck his thumbs in his belt. “Do you think she could fancy someone like me?”

Fili laughed in good spirits but he couldn't help the small shred of jealousy from creeping into his bones. “Look at you. One compliment and suddenly you want to get married.”

“I don’t want to marry her!” Kili huffed, indignant. “She’s taken notice so I’m just wondering if maybe she’d--oh, wait, I see.” He paused for dramatic effect. “You fancy her, don’t you?”

Fili’s eyebrows shot way up into his hair. “Don’t be absurd! I hardly know the lass.”

“No, I heard you two talking — flirting — and I saw that kiss she gave you. Ah, see! Your face just got red!” Kili pointed. 

“Drop it, Kee. There was no flirting going on at all and you weren't even awake the entire time to hear it. We shouldn’t even be talking about this; we’re on the job.”

Kili wagged his eyebrows suggestively. “You wish you were on the job—”

“Kili! Don’t even jest about that! And don’t bring Lady Y/N into such perverted topics so shamelessly. What if she happened to be passing by and heard you?”

Kili frowned at how defensive his brother was being. Even using a tone akin to Thorin’s which he rarely ever directed at him from his brother. He was just poking fun and normally Fili took it rather gracefully. Why would he be so sore about something like this now? Fili didn’t seem to have taken a fancy with Y/N, but the again, Kili should have known to pair them both together in such poor tasted use of a heavy innuendo joke such as that. “Calm down, I didn’t mean anything by it. I’m sorry, I suppose I just became overexcited at the thought of being attractive to someone else for a change. You know how my tongue likes to wag.”

Fili took a deep breath to cool his thoughts — and his reddened face that still burned from his embarrassment. He suddenly felt guilty at dimming Kili’s light in such a way after knowing how much of an ego-boost that was for him. But nonetheless, he still didn’t like the thought of anybody (even his brother) sexualizing Y/N in such a way even in jest. 

“It’s… all right, Kee. I’m sorry, too. I don’t know why I got so worked up about it. Just refrain from making such jokes about Lady Y/N’s virtue, aye? It’s not proper and you know better — especially since said maiden is in our midst. You don’t want to taint her opinion of your being cute, do you?”

A bit deflated from his earlier scolding but seeing the logic behind it, Kili stifled a small grin and nodded in agreement, toeing the ground with the tip of his boot. “Aye, it won’t happen again.”

Fili offered him a warm smile and heavily clapped his brother on the shoulder. “There, now. No harm done, brother, truly! Let’s just finish with the ponies and be done with it, hm?”

Kili returned the shoulder clap and they tenderly touched foreheads, the small transgression forgiven and forgotten. Turning his attention to where they should have been focusing all along, Kili squinted his eyes and used his finger to point while he counted. “Fili, have I gone daft with numbers or are we missing--”

“Two ponies,” Fili confirmed. 

They shared a troubled look. A look that expressed their mutual growing concern and dread in dealing with Thorin for screwing up a simple task such as making sure the ponies were cared for and watched. Even now they both thought hard on what they should say in their defense, how they could even go about explaining themselves. But no excuse they could provide would be deemed acceptable by their uncle. 

As if a solution would come running right towards them, all the brothers could do was stand side by side and frown at the suddenly shortened herd of ponies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm slowly setting things in motion for our beloved characters. Is it possible that Fili might feel a little something-something for Y/N already? He certainly doesn't seem to think so! Guess we'll all have to wait and see. ;D


	6. I Hate To Say I Told You So, But...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/N’s premonition of trolls came to pass and Fili blames himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry for the month-long wait! In the past, the POV divisions in this chapter were mainly between you and the Company -- with specific POVs dedicated to specific persons from the group via line breaks and asterisks. I've just slightly written it up differently for this chapter and made the POV parts specific to individuals. 
> 
> Just as a general vote: would you all prefer the POVs to be divided amongst individual persons and remove the Company POV entirely? I wouldn’t want to cause confusion while reading, and if it would make it easier to read the story from Y/N’s POV, Thorin’s POV, Fili’s POV, Kili’s POV, etc. respectively, I have no trouble writing that way!

Dwalin circled Y/N, humming considerately as he went around. Y/N’s head turned to follow him as she remained rooted to the spot, though she wasn’t sure what to expect or what exactly about her person was being critiqued.

He made a stop in front of her and picked through his beard in thought as she waited patiently (and curiously) for his verdict. It didn’t take the Dwarf long to process whatever thoughts or calculations he was doing in his head. 

“Which is yer dominant hand?” he asks eventually. 

“My right.”

He walked over to her right side and squeezed his large partly gloved palm along the prominent muscles from bicep, tricep, to forearm. She squeaked at his rough touch and jerked in his firm grip but didn’t move away until he was finished. Y/N didn’t know what sort of silly test this was but hoped she passed even though his expressions and sounds weren’t very favorable in that regard. Dwalin made a disappointed grunt and told her to flex and his hand squeezed again at the now active muscle groups. 

“Just as I thought. All right, lass, let’s see yer grip then. Squeeze as hard as ya can.” He presented his index and middle finger to her, which resulted to him looking quite silly for how serious his expression was. Feeling a bit surly at his judgmental tone, she hoped he’d feel a bit of pain when she complied in this odd test of strength. Y/N emptied her frustration into her grip and looked to Dwalin for approval. He only frowned. 

“As hard as you can.”

She glared at his condescending tone, “I am.”

“No, with all yer strength.”

“_It is! _”

He yanked his hand back and shook his head with dissatisfaction. “Such a dainty lass! That grip is only good for a firm handshake an nothin’ more — don’t think yeh’d manage a sword very well. How about a bow, think ye can handle that to start?”

The back of Y/N’s neck bristled with purpose and he met her stare confidently and undeterred. “What makes you think I couldn’t handle a sword?”

“Yer not built for strength with such wee arms like those!” He swept his arm over her as if his point was obvious. A few chuckles sounded from behind her from a few Dwarves who were watching and she whipped her face back to Dwalin with her face red with indignance. 

“I can handle a sword.”

Dwalin quirked a thick, dubious eyebrow. “Ye cannot—”

“I can handle a sword,” she enunciated with slow, precise determination. When he only stood with a smug, know-it-all sneer that would no doubt gain Thorin’s approval, she had a point to prove and she wasn’t giving up without a fight.

“Oh, come on! Just give me chance! Bows are meant for long range; how am I supposed to defend myself for close range assaults? I don’t want to be this little damsel in distress that needs rescuing every time we meet conflict; I need to be able to fight if I’m ever going to be helpful to you guys — there’s going to be times when none of you will be there to help me, so I need to learn what to do. I can do this!”

Dwalin inhaled and exhaled deeply from his nose as he considered her request in silence and Y/N had backed up an entire onslaught of other pros for her learning battle techniques as her arsenal. Besides, she was given the okay from Thorin to begin training and she had to start somewhere feasible! If Dwalin refused to teach her the basics of sword wielding than what else could she possibly be trained in? There was only so much time they had before— 

“Fine.”

Y/N blinked in surprise, her brain trying to catch up to her ears. She was rendered speechless. Fine? What, that’s it? No argument? No retort? There’s no way it was that easy. Holding back her astonishment at how readily Dwalin complied to her reasoning, the only thing she could do was nod appreciatively. “Okay. Yeah. Okay, good. So how are we doing this? Whose sword am I using?”

“Yer not gettin’ a sword.”

She squinted her eyes at him dumbfounded and he continued without pause, “Yeh need to build strength in order to hold a proper weapon. Until then, yer usin’ tree sticks to practice proper form.”

“Sticks…” she echoed doubtfully. 

“Aye, sticks! Do yeh want to learn or don’t you? You’ll get yer sword when you earn yer strength to hold one. Bilbo,” Dwalin called as soon as the Hobbit casually passed by on his way to somewhere else in camp. Bilbo hopped to a stop. 

“Yes?” 

“Fetch yer walkin’ stick.”

“Oho! This I gotta see!” Oin cackled, eagerly sitting down beside Bofur, Bifur, and Nori who were watching Y/N and Dwalin with great amusement. Although the growing audience tested her confidence levels, her determination had remained steady enough to remain undeterred by the growing pairs of eyes.

“All right, lass,” Dwalin began, demonstratively swinging the walking stick from one hand to the other. “Here’s how ye start.”

* * * * *

Balin glanced over on occasion as Dwalin explained the basics of sparring and couldn’t help but smile to himself. His younger brother was in full teach mode; he knew it would be wise to pair them up first for Y/N’s training as there could be no better teacher than his own kin. It wasn’t a secret that Dwalin loved to battle and brawl. It might help loosen him up a bit and release some steam, especially if they happened to — miraculously — encounter zero danger in their journey, which was about as unlikely as his hair turning blue. 

That girl was something else. Albeit socially peculiar with an odd manner of speaking and interesting use of “idioms”, as he experienced (although Balin quite liked how “high as a kite” sounded, even after learning what it meant), and despite her hardly being soldier material, Y/N had the makings of being a great asset to their cause. Especially if she could find a way to muster up her courage, keep it up, and work with Thorin on sharing her Sight then they could have a useful, diverse advantage, particularly if they needed to work with Man in the future. If Y/N dreamed of everything that was to come for their quest then maybe… maybe they stood a chance after all.

He wondered what else she had seen, either through her vision or the dreams she’s had. It wasn’t lost on Balin how nervous the girl was in their company when she was confronted with her validity — Thorin in particular already caught on to the fact that she was hiding something from them. But Balin didn’t detect that coming from a place of malice; she probably just needed to warm up to them more. Being the only lass (from another realm at that) being surrounded by male Dwarves would be enough to lift anyone’s guard. Not to mention with having a distrusting leader of said group.

Speaking of the king, Balin cast a glance Thorin’s way. The Dwarf was busy pacing and brooding right where the wizard left him, still sore with Gandalf and likely lost in his thoughts as always. 

He sighed and shook his head. No matter how logical the advice Balin could offer, Thorin had every right to refuse council, but even as his own advisor, Balin knew that the lad will need to learn to broaden his views and listen constructively. If Thorin continued with his dismissive, closed-minded behavior, there’s no telling what the future would hold for them. Balin looked back over to the lass who was focused, quite adorably, with Dwalin explaining what she would be doing to start as Bilbo retrieved his stick.

She was awkward with her positioning at first, but she quickly caught on. Her smile showed that she was enjoying herself.

Y/N’s reported vision, which he thought often about, was perplexing and curious to Balin. He and his brother, like most of their kin, were very religious dwarrows. They were raised to believe divine intervention was possible and that help came to those who prayed for it and were deemed in most need. Balin wished this quest well; for safety and success. And then along came this human lassie from another world who supposedly carried the marks of their Maker in her skin — the skies exploded in ecstatic, colored beauty, opened up, and there she fell into their laps. It couldn’t have been a coincidence. Y/N’s insight wasn’t exactly accepted in Thorin’s ears but Balin had a hunch to believe in her premonition despite knowing her for just a day. He had faith in his Maker and thus had faith in the lass.

Aye, Balin sighed as he shifted his attention back to his troubled king. They all could do with a bit of faith.

* * * * *

After the walking stick was retrieved, with Bilbo politely requesting that it be returned “unharmed” when they were finished, Dwalin instructed Y/N on proper form for sword bearing. He heavily critiqued her stance, posture, and swings but even as crude and brusque as he was, Y/N remained silent and dutifully followed Dwalin’s instructions. 

“Not bad,” Dwalin commented after she repeated a series of positions and swings he taught her. That was as close to actual praise that she got from him. Y/N was a fast learner and no doubt felt a surge of pride at picking up a skill set such as this so raptly. Dwalin was pleased that Y/N didn’t complain once about the moves he told her to do, even when he scolded her from messing up whenever she did. She didn’t talk back and she actually listened to his commands and he thought for a brief, fleeting moment that she’d make an exceptional soldier. In time. If they happened to be in desperate need of fights enough to employ a female. 

There was no way Thorin would allow Y/N to battle, no matter how much training she had or how well she may have fought. Lassies had no business fighting, that was a male’s duty. As Y/N continued on with her training with their fellow Dwarves offering their praise and encouragement, Dwalin looked over to where Thorin was.

Somebody was in their own little world over there. 

His mood was foul ever since Gandalf left. Dwalin huffed to himself; how could a sagely old wizard get so easily ruffled over a measly argument with Thorin meanwhile this otherworldly lass was willingly taking everything Dwalin threw at her without any snappy comments? She didn’t balk when Dwalin critiqued her, she obeyed orders, and she seemed as headstrong as a dwarrowdam.

Her quirkiness was peculiar to him, as were her strange words and manner of speaking and thinking but he found her antics charming in their own right. In some strange way, the thought crossed Dwalin's mind that she and Thorin might have made an interesting pair if any interest was born between them. 

Och, what was that nonsense? He quickly dismissed that silly bud of a thought. There was no way in the Valar that the fates would see fit to pair Thorin Oakenshield with a lass from beyond the stars. 

* * *

Y/N huffed and puffed with dwindling stamina. She wasn’t athletic even on her best days, but swinging this walking stick around was strenuous work even though it was fairly light. To think she wanted to train with an actual sword! Who knew how much _ that _would have weighed. She silently thanked Dwalin for the common sense for her beginners level training to begin with something that wouldn’t proceed to turn her limbs to noodles and thereafter cause her to shove her pride down into her throat to choke on it. After performing the stance and positions he taught her, Y/N gradually eased to a stop. 

In order to keep herself righted, she thrust the walking stick into the ground and leaned her weight into it as she caught her breath and attempted to shake the bubbling soreness in her free arm out. 

“Oi! Don’t stop now, you were doin’ so well!” Nori said from the comfort of his seated position. 

“I’m tired,” she panted. “I need a break.”

“A break?” he echoed in surprise, as if she couldn’t possibly be tired from repetitious physical activity.

Y/N wiped some sweat off her brow and faced off her audience with a hand on her hip. “You weren’t the one exerting all this energy. I’m not used to this level of physical activity. It’s my first go of this, what do you expect?”

“You have our respect, Lady Y/N! That was decent work,” Oin commented, obviously mishearing her. 

The small group of Dwarves who happened to hear her just fine exchanged a cross between amused and confused looks. 

Bofur questioned with an inquiring tilt of his head, “How exactly does anybody in your world get anything done without exerting physical activity? Oh! Do women not work where you’re from?”

“That would make sense!” agreed Nori, after explaining the discussion to Oin who was having a hard time catching everything being said due to leaving his trumpart with his things. 

Dwalin added with a chuckle, “And explain the state of such wee limbs.”

“I can assure you that women work just as hard, if not harder, than men do—Wee limbs?! I’ll show you wee limbs… on guard!” Y/N huffed, pointing her stick at Dwalin.

He smirked indulgently and looked around for a weapon of equal value to use. When none could be found, he settled for his bare fists to block and parry her attacks with. 

“Have at me then, lassie!”

He gave a smug taunt and waited for her to make the first move and then it was on. It was obvious who had the most experience with this between the two, but Y/N didn’t care. Although she was quicker than Dwalin, he still had strength and skill on his side, and Y/N was trying not to destroy Bilbo’s walking stick during her bout of defending her dignity. 

There was that and some lingering frustrations from earlier in the day that she had yet to properly release. And it didn’t take her long to finally expel it all until she was left exhausted. 

“That’s enough fer tonight, you did fairly well,” Dwalin said, offering a gentle pat on her shoulder once they finished several minutes later. She would have gone longer if not for the fatigue and hunger catching up with her at rapid speed. 

At this point, she didn’t care what she ate. She’d inhale it without even being able to taste it properly at this rate. Y/N sagged to the ground, feeling the brunt of the work she put in. Her “dainty” arms on fire. Dwalin stretched out his own arms in large circles and tugs; chuckling and satiated at their interaction.

Bilbo, who had later joined the small audience, helped Y/N to her feet when she struggled to pull herself up and asked, “Do you need to sit for a while? I thought you did great! I wouldn’t have known it was your first time if you didn’t mention it.”

“Thanks, I’m fine though. As is this,” she smiled tiredly and handed him the walking stick. It took some convincing just to get him to take it from her because he thought she could still use it. She was only sore, not injured, for pete’s sake! But good god, she could use some food. After that workout of hers and the long day they had traveling, her stomach was positively roaring like a beast for sustenance and the magnitude of the growl turned many heads her way in pure astonishment that such a sound could come from a lady.

Ori’s voice squeaked with relief, “I thought that was a wolf…”

“My, that was impressive!” Nori chortled. Bofur joined in on the laughter after adding a comment that she could rival his brother.

“Food is on the way, lass,” Dori called after confirming with Bombur who was busy finishing up their stew. “Here, have a seat. I’ll fetch you some water. You must have worked up quite a sweat!”

Y/N sat with a plop at the closest vacant seat she could find nearest the stew, right beside Ori and Balin. Dori soon claimed the spot beside her as he handed her a cup of water. She downed it in one gulp.

As her body calmed down, they all indulged in idle chatter which resulted in more questions about her life in her world. They had just descended into the discussion of what a television was when supper was declared ready and everyone was handed their share. 

With the welcome of strength and life that food granted her, Y/N’s thoughts turned to Fili and Kili. She wondered if they were truly watching the ponies and if her forewarning Bilbo and Thorin about the trolls would possibly deter the whole event from happening altogether. She stole glances in the direction the two Durinsons left in and hoped everything was okay. 

She trusted that they could handle themselves, but she still worried. Not that she didn’t have faith that they could look after themselves, but those trolls were terrifying up close from what she remembered seeing in that awful vision; nothing at all like the odd characters she dreamed of. 

God… that vision… 

Why the hell did she have it? Y/N had racked her brain trying to it figure out and still drew up blanks. Then there was the matter of that entity she saw. But like so many of her questions surrounding this mystical circumstance that she found herself, the questions only kept adding far more quickly than answers. What task was she supposed to complete? Y/N hoped that warning Thorin and the others was enough to start with but felt the vagueness of her instructions from the omnipotent voice very much unfair. It was an unknown stretch on whether or not she’d receive yet another vision but she had a sinking suspicion that this would be the first of many to come...

How embarrassing was it when that happened! Just thinking about how she basically fainted and seized up abruptly in front of everybody turned Y/N’s face red. And her face remained red when her thoughts shifted to Fili and his kindness. He was right by her side through the whole thing and then once more when she had the nightmare of that suffocating darkness she was drowning in. 

It was selfish of her to think so, but she hoped that — if she did happen across another vision — that it would be when Fili was around. She didn’t know if anybody else would offer her the same care that he did because she recalled the others being either annoyed (thanks, Thorin) or very put off by it. But Fili came to her aid almost immediately. And even though it was a little humiliating for Y/N to have him (or anyone) see her like that, she took comfort in knowing that there was at least one person in the group who cared for her welfare. The thought that this handsome Dwarf found it in him to comfort a strange lady in a time of need made her smile, but it quickly departed as her thoughts drifted to other worries. 

Y/N sighed.

She missed her home. She missed her family and friends, her cellphone, her music, and running water. She missed electronics and technology that advanced to make life easier, her bed and her comfortable pillow, and (as much as she was loathe to admit it) she even missed her job. She missed the lonely life of safety she had, one bereft of skull splitting visions. Y/N had often pined for adventure, but this wasn't exactly what she had in mind. _Guess I should've been careful what I wished for,_ she thought.

Would she ever be able to return to her world or find out why she was brought here? And if not… could she truly find a new home here in Middle Earth? 

Y/N was lost in her thoughts well after she finished her supper. After greedily finishing her share like the starving woman that she was, Y/N developed a craving for her favorite foods that she might never be able to enjoy again, and another bout of despair washed over her. 

It hadn’t fully sunk in until just then but… it finally clicked that she was well and truly lost in a foreign land. With people she knew of only through the dreams she’s had of them. She was an intruder in a strange world with no idea why she was here in the first place. This really wasn’t a dream. And it was more than safe to say that Y/N was certainly not in Kansas anymore. 

Could Y/N find a home here? She looked to the Dwarves wonderingly before her sight settled on Thorin. He met her stare briefly from across the way — with only the faintest looks of recognition from him — and then returned to his meal. This ragtag band of Dwarves were the only people she knew here and something told her that even if she was to remain in this land for the rest of her days, she would be on her own.

Much like Thorin would inevitably exclaim to Bilbo, Y/N had no place among them, either. 

* * *

Much later, just as she had forgotten about it, Fili and Kili suddenly came bursting into camp in a panic and Y/N face-palmed. Great. So much for her forewarning. Seemed that everything was happening right on schedule. 

Both brothers spoke over each other panting and gesturing behind them, they didn’t realize just what a scene they had caused in their abrupt appearance.

“Fili, Kili! Supper was already brought to you, get back to your posts,” Thorin admonished. 

“No! Bilbo’s in danger!” Kili said urgently. That got everyone’s attention. 

“We must hurry!” Fili added, snagging weapons for himself and Kili while answering the question everybody was asking all at once: “Trolls. We cannot leave him there!”

All of the Dwarves jumped into action and Thorin barked some orders for everyone to grab their weapons as the brothers practically bounced impatiently on their toes, eager to rescue their burglar from the trolls and waiting to swiftly lead the Company to him. 

Y/N didn’t know how she could help, but she ran up behind the group to try and warn them not to engage all at once and to be stealthy but nobody stopped to listen to her. She followed along anyway, still ignored, only to be stopped by Thorin. 

“You stay here,” he said, waving her back and grabbing hold of his sword. 

“What? Why?”

“You will only slow us down.” As the others were already following Fili and Kili back into the forest without him, Thorin ran after them and called over his shoulder before disappearing from view, “Stay at camp!”

“Like hell I will!” Y/N mumbled to herself. Following the sound of heavy footsteps marking a path deeper into the trees. With no weapon to arm herself with, she knew she was walking a very dangerous line. For one thing, it was dark and she could hardly see anything. And two, those trolls were not to be taken for granted, even if they were simpletons. 

Y/N thought hard on how the event played out in her dreams. The Dwarves would charge in to rescue Bilbo, and after putting up a good fight, they all get captured and bagged. Then Bilbo would stall until Gandalf returned—

Gandalf! 

Quickly making her way back to camp while making note of her surroundings as best she could so she could find her way back, she burst through the clearing and cleared out a suitable patch for her message. Gandalf might return here looking for them and if she left him a note, maybe he would find them sooner and be able to do something about it. 

Using Bilbo’s walking stick, she carved a help message in the dirt and made an arrow indicating where they were before making her way back into the trees in search of her new friends. 

She hoped nothing about the event would be altered in any way. God, if anyone got hurt because of her misconstruing her “task”, she didn’t know what she’d do with herself.

* * *

Well, easier said than done. Y/N discreetly tried to get Bilbo’s attention to remind him of what she told him earlier. Glancing around at her friends for help did nothing as they were all focused on trying (uselessly) to escape. Bilbo was in the process of telling the trolls the secret of cooking Dwarves when his attention became diverted and inadvertently directed the trolls’ attention right to Y/N’s hiding place.

“What’s this?” A deep voice boomed, turning in her direction. 

Shit.

Y/N couldn’t retreat further in the trees in time when a giant maw tugged her out of the safety of the bushes and held her upside down by her leg. 

“Y/N!”

“Lass!”

“Get yer bleedin’ mitts of the lady!” 

The Dwarves’ cries were all drowned out and Y/N struggled to keep the large borrowed tunic down so nothing unseemly would flash every male in sight as she glared into the ugly face of one of the trolls. He drew her in close for inspection. 

“Oh my…” Bilbo stuttered from below. 

“What’s this, then?” another troll mused as he ventured closer for a better look. 

“Dessert!” the one with the higher pitched voice and lazy eye shrieked with delight. “Haven’t had a Man lady in ages!” His congested sniffs as he brought her even closer to his nose were most unpleasant. “Mmm, so tender and fatty females are…” 

Y/N struggled with no use at being poked and sniffed at. “Put me the hell down, you oaf!” she yelled.

“We haven't got any sacks left, does we?” another troll asked with a pout, ignoring her. Y/N looked around to assess the situation. Her eyes sought out Bilbo but the troll holding her was jostling around too much for them to be able to communicate silently to one another. Some of the Dwarves kept throwing reassurances at her mainly pertaining to “not to worry, they’ll find a way out” and “she’ll be okay”. 

As the outcome of her vision was altered with her presence, she wasn’t as comforted by their words as she wanted to be. What if she horribly misconstrued this entire situation? What if whatever happens here dooms them all? When she was swung around again, Y/N eyes met Thorin’s from across the way where she happened to catch a worried expression, but she was jerked around too quick to do anything about it.

“Aw… maybe we can just eat her raw then. Nothin’ wrong with raw maid flesh; it’s even better than raw Dwarf—yow!” a troll yelped when a ladle fell upon his head in a sharp _ thunk! _before he could stick Y/N headfirst down his throat.

“You’ll spoil yer dinner,” said the cook. His “you’ll” sounding more like, “yull”.

“Just a little nibble?” the troll protested.

He retorted firmly, “Oi, Tom, who's the cook here? Dinner before dessert!” 

“Fine,” Tom pouted and looked around. “We haven’t got any sacks left, aye? William, hand me the knife so I can have her readily prepared—”

“No!” Bilbo cried along with the heated protests from the Dwarves. “You can’t eat her, she’s—she’s, uh…”

“She’s what?” 

Bilbo stuttered for a moment before blurting, “She’s sick! Actually, all of them are. They’re, uh, they’re infected! With—with… worms. In their tubes.”

Bert quirked a confused brow, “You what?”

“Ew!” Tom shrieked, dropping Y/N as she were fire and they scampered away from each other. William was quick to snatch Y/N back up just as she was nearing Bilbo. 

As Bilbo began describing how riddled with parasites they all were, and the Dwarves somehow still vehemently denying it, the rest of the sequence played out pretty much the same way that Y/N remembered it.

With a triumphant declaration of “May dawn take you all!” Gandalf came to the rescue in the knick of time and split the rock to turn all three trolls into stone — with Y/N still clutched tightly in their hand by the hem of her tunic.

The Dwarves expressed their giddy relief with hoots and hollers of “yays” but Y/N was concerned about what was to become of her borrowed top after being pried from their literal stone grip. 

“Uh… Gandalf, could you help me down?”

* * * * *

After getting down with only a few minor tears in the tunic, Y/N made quick work in assisting Gandalf and Bilbo with freeing the Dwarves. Her heart was still pounding. Sure, the tears in the fabric of her borrowed garb was easy to fix, but the trauma and stress of experiencing her vision and the aftermath of it would not be as easily placated. As if to add insult to injury, Thorin all but threw the burlap sack at her as he stormed over, “What were you thinking? Why did you not stay at camp like you were told?”

The sharp anger in his voice gave her pause. It was the first time she had ever had that nasty temper of his directed towards her and the fact that there were others present during his outburst had drawn up her defenses out of her embarrassment and adrenaline still going strong even though the danger had passed. 

What the hell? As if she were a child being scolded in front of company for matters that were of no direct result of her own!

“Because I knew exactly what was going to happen?” she retorted pointedly, annoyed that he seemed to conveniently forget that what came to pass was precisely what she foretold them just the night before. She looked to Balin, Gandalf, and even Bilbo for help, but they all avoided her eyes, not wanting the heat of Thorin’s temper to be cast their way. 

Thanks, guys. 

“You could have gotten yourself killed or eaten!” Thorin insisted. He shook his head, exasperated. Then with a lethal edge in his baritone voice that she did not appreciate, “Do not disobey me again.” 

Everyone studiously ignored the admonishing going on and were very deliberate in their not paying any mind to the two of them. 

Y/N blanched, completely indignant at his gull to chastise her like that in front of everybody as he proceeded to merely strode on away after all that’s happened thus far. Still caught up in the moment with anger fanning the flame to the hammering in her heart, Y/N marched off in his direction to give him a piece of her mind but was stopped by Balin. 

“Best leave it at that, lass,” he told her softly. 

Y/N spun on her heel out of his reach. “Thanks for leaving me hanging back there, Balin. You were a lot of help,” she spat. Balin sighed, wearing a very patient expression. 

He continued in a very calm tone, but wasn’t condescending about his delivery, “Give him space to cool down. We’re all shaken up by what happened and he’s just worried for your safety.” She opened her mouth to argue and he held up his hand, “We’ll sort this out with him later, lass. For now, it’s best to let it simmer down.”

Her anger wavered but didn’t deplete entirely. Y/N was still irked that her premonition had went unheeded and then she was scolded for having felt the need to help when she saw it all going downhill — how could Thorin fault her for that? Oh, they were definitely going to have words later. She’d make sure of that. 

Infuriating, distrusting oaf of a— 

Fili hurried over after Balin left to see to the others, and Y/N didn’t have the heart to exert her upset to the golden prince due to the stark concern in his blue eyes as he reviewed her for injuries. 

“Your leg, does it hurt at all?” he asked, dropping down to his knees to see for himself. 

She twisted it this way and that but no muscle was pulled and no bones were broken from the way the troll gripped her and Fili seemed satisfied when she didn’t wince in pain as she tested out the range of movement. 

“Thank goodness,” he smiled as he stood back up. 

“Where did you go to, if I may ask?” Thorin asked Gandalf from a good distance away still within earshot.

Gandalf answered, “To look ahead.”

“What brought you back?”

“Looking behind,” the wizard replied sagely. Gandalf’s eyes quickly swept over Y/N before addressing Thorin again. “Nasty business… still all in one piece!”

“No thanks to your burglar,” Thorin appraised.

Gandalf quickly looked to Y/N again and answered, “Yes, well... He had the mouth to play for time, however, it appears your Seer’s vision came to pass after all.” 

“Yeah, no shit…” Y/N mumbled under her breath. 

Thorin’s quick smile was just as swift to dissipate into a frown. “So it would seem,” he replied tightly, not bothering to even glance in her direction to acknowledge her, not that she wanted him to. Really, she didn’t. 

The two of them shared more words but Y/N had overheard enough of the conversation and held no further desire to listen to any more of it. She sighed in annoyance and averted her eyes from the king and started away. Fili followed her and looked between Y/N and Thorin, conflicted. Fili asked, “Was this debacle what you saw when you had your vision earlier?”

“Sure was,” she snipped. “But all that pain and embarrassment was for nothing because the ponies still got taken by trolls anyway and the moment I even try to help when I see that things are going wrong, _ I’m _ the one who’s chastised. I can’t believe he did that!” She kicked a stone like it was Thorin’s head. 

Fili winced at that and cast his eyes towards the ground as if he had done something wrong. He was such a kind soul and probably loyal to Thorin enough to disagree with her statement but was too nice to say anything. The group continued onward and after a round of “I’m fine, that was close!” were exchanged by everyone, Y/N took up the middle of the line with Fili and Kili right beside her. She eyed Fili questioningly when he remained silent and contrite as if something heavy was weighing down on him.

“What’s on your mind, Fili?” Y/N asked. 

While the others filed in to explore the troll hold that they found, she lingered outside with Fili perplexed as to why he looked so down. He and Kili must have communicated silently via looks somehow, because Kili suddenly announced (very unconvincingly) that he was curious to check out that troll cave before scampering off. 

Y/N went from confused to concerned. 

* * *

When it came down to it, Fili blamed himself for what happened. 

He was the direct cause for the event leading up to what ultimately transpired with the trolls. Had he not lost focus on his watch duty and engaged in conversation with Kili, maybe he could have prevented this whole mess and spared her the anguish. Maybe he would have seen when the ponies were taken and have been able to alert everyone in time. Now Y/N was butting heads with his uncle again and her mood was sullen on how the situation was handled. But she had no idea who she should rightfully be angry with. 

Fili was laying face down in the dirt when he was tied up in the knapsack, but the moment he heard everyone shouting in alarm for Y/N’s safety when she arrived, Fili was suddenly rightside up. Gods… if those trolls hurt her — or worse, eaten the poor girl — he didn’t know what he would have done._ I must do better, _ he thought determinedly, thinking back on the promise he made to his uncle and then looking down at his pinky to the promise he sealed to Y/N. 

He refused to let either of them down. Or anybody. In time, he’d have a whole kingdom who counted on him. Thousands of people to hold up his word to. If Fili couldnt fulfill his word to just two people, what kind of king would he make then? Thoughts of his discussion with Y/N from the other night entered his mind. Y/N had faith in him. And she believed that he had the makings of doing great things whilst she gave him his much-needed counsel. Fili felt a surge of confidence swell in his chest. No, he wouldn’t let her down. 

He would do better!

Y/N kissing his cheek rushed into the spotlight of his thoughts next and he felt his face flush all over again. If a maid from this world had pressed her lips upon his cheek, her adoration and intent would be crystal clear. But Y/N heralded from another world; one that was more forward and affectionate based on the social norms she explained to them up to this point. Fili wasn’t sure if there was any hidden intent behind her kiss or if it was done as play. 

_Maybe I just like seeing you get all flustered._

Naughty heat flushed his cheeks that he hoped she didn’t pick up on. Fili couldn’t find it in him to tell her that he’d never been kissed before, in any regard, outside of his family. Or that the thought of Y/N kissing his cheek had given him a case of the butterflies every time he pulled up the memory. It didn't help that he found her attractive. What would it feel like if her lips were— 

Okay, he was getting sidetracked by distracting nonsense. Fili shook his head back in focus and tucked those tiny buds of feelings deep inside and out of sight. Now was not the time to lose his head over a maiden! After much consideration, Fili decided to come clean and tell her of his guilt. 

“Please release my uncle from any ill will. It was my fault that your vision came to pass.”

She looked confused. “Fili, what’re you talking about? How could you possibly— ” 

“I wasn’t paying attention to the ponies — if Kili and I had not become so engrossed in conversation… I am entirely at fault, please forgive me.” Fili didn’t know why his natural impulse was to take her hand in his own as he apologized, but that’s precisely what he did. She seemed just as surprised by the notion, but didn’t pull away and he didn’t drop her hand. Instead, he gave it a squeeze and hoped that the gesture would be seen as heartfelt and that his words would be enough to forgive him for being so careless. 

Y/N’s face scrunched up in the awkward moment and she slowly retrieved back her hand. “Look, I’ve dreamt of this happening long before I had a vision over it. It’s _ not _your fault! If anything, everything happened exactly as it was supposed to…” she frowned when she trailed off on that sentence, as if she were remembering something and Fili felt his chest tighten in shame. He waited for her to divulge what she was thinking and her silence was just as torturous as the blanks he was filling in on his own. 

In Fili’s mind, it _ was _his fault. 

He opened his mouth to argue, but she beat him to it. “I don’t blame anybody for what happened. If anything, I'm the one who should have interpreted my vision more clearly.” She looked around to make sure nobody was listening before leaning in, “I have no idea what I’m supposed to do… that troll fiasco back there? That was supposed to be ‘my task’ but I don’t even know if I did it right… I’m scared and stressed and… ugh, Fili. What if that person comes back and punishes me, or something? What if I get another vision again?”

He was surprised at the sudden urge to protect her rising in his blood, daring anyone or anything to mean her harm. He may not be able to protect her from the visions, but he would do everything in his power to make sure she felt safe. With a smile, Fili offered Y/N his pinky. He encouraged her to link hers with his with an impatient bob. 

“Then allow me to offer my promise to do better. I will do anything in my power to help keep you safe; if you do have another vision, I shall be there to aid you through it. And if anything dares to harm you, they will answer to me and Vanquisher.”

"Vanquisher...?"

"My throwing axe," he clarified proudly. 

“Oh, Fili,” Y/N giggled. She smiled down at their joined pinkies and he was relieved by her uplifted mood. “Do you really mean that or are you teasing me again?”

He took her palm in his own again, bowed dramatically, and brushed a kiss against her knuckles. He smirked at the blush he saw blooming in her cheeks in response.

“Perhaps I wish to fluster you.” He winked and dropped her hand to hitch his belt with smug satisfaction at her response. They broke apart with smiles, all worries and troubles from the earlier event forgotten, just in time for Thorin to see them and scowl in disapproval. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thorin is not in a good mood... geez, why is he so snippy? And I wonder how he'll take in Y/N's interaction with Fili while everyone else was preoccupied in the cave?


	7. Complication

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “This discussion over. Conduct yourself in the future, or I will appoint someone else to watch over the girl from here on.” Thorin’s leveled tone was as sharp as his sword and cutting twice as deep. This was a threat, not a request. Having already said his piece, Fili knew there would be nothing else to accomplish from arguing further. Even though he couldn’t fully understand Thorin’s point, it was better to just agree with him and let well enough alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to Laura for her amazing brain and feedback for helping me with my future plans for this story! If not for you, I'd be pretty lost in which direction to take this series. Thank youuu! <333 Updates on this story should now be more frequent -- I do have a pesky, soul sucking day job, but since I have a lot of the plot fleshed out, I'm aiming to update more frequently than I have been. Bear with me! :'3
> 
> And thanks for everyone’s input on the POV thing! I’ll continue breaking them up by using asterisks and line breaks but each section will surround someone’s main POV with the occasional backup character(s). 
> 
> At long last we have Thorin’s POV! I’m going to start speeding up the timelines soon to move things along. I’m using primarily the Hobbit films as my point of reference and the timeline (basically) took about a year for them to get to the mountain. Outside of the main focal points of events that take place throughout the movies, there’s a ton of inbetween that occurred from Bilbo’s place to first camp, first camp to next camp cue the trolls, etc. I’m essentially trying to accommodate for the range of time that lapses.

When Thorin exited the troll hoard, his disposition was already most disagreeable. He didn’t appreciate being saddled with Elven weaponry—no matter how fine the blade was. But he admitted (to himself) that it could be useful. 

But despite their earlier disagreement and the amiable rescue and reunion that followed, Gandalf was proving to be quite the unpredictable ally and he wasn’t sure whose side the wizard was even on or if there was a side at all and that peeved him greatly. He had the frame of mind to trust him but the ambivalence of his true alliance had raised Thorin’s guard. Although it was at Gandalf’s bequest to initiate the reclaiming of Erebor, as leader of the Company, Thorin bore the full weight and responsibility of pressing forward while trusting only those who had come to him when called upon, as their allegiance was sound. 

Thorin also found a suitable blade for the girl to use that was light enough and would work in a pinch, should she need it. Y/N was by no means a warrior of any sort. And he didn’t even want to think about how burdensome she would be if they went under attack. Thank Mahal she was Fili’s problem. Thorin had enough on his plate outside of worrying his head over a human woman’s welfare. He exited the cave with his new possessions in hand and searched for the girl. 

But upon seeing his oldest nephew displaying public affections towards the human lass while everyone else was out of sight, Thorin’s mood and temper soured further. He wasn’t quite sure what he was seeing, but whatever it was, he caught the tail end of it before they even noticed him. Thorin felt something he couldn’t quite place twisting in his gut bearing witness to their growing familiarity with one another, but his displeasure in his nephew’s indulgence to this stranger far outweighed whatever beginnings of an emotion took root in his chest.

Durin’s hammer. 

That girl was trouble. He knew she would be a cause of distraction to them at some point. It was only natural for a group of fully grown males to yearn for female company after a prolonged period of absence, but surely not so soon! Let alone for his own kin to fall victim to feminine wiles—had his sister-son no dignity at all? Fili’s answering startled look to Thorin’s disapproving stare told him enough.

Fili made his way towards him, but Thorin was not in the frame of mind to hear any excuses or explanations. He didn’t have the patience for either. The sooner they figured out what the runes in the girl’s arms read, the quicker Y/N would be out of their hair. Thorin considered the troubling possibility that the markings on her arms might never return... If that was the case, he contemplated leaving her in the care of the next town they stumbled across. 

Before Fili could explain himself, Thorin said, “I did not agree to take you and your brother on this quest just so you could gallivant about. Do sort your priorities, Fili. If you cannot even honor your responsibilities without becoming distracted then you can go home.”

Fili stared at him aghast and incredulous. Thorin fleetingly wondered if he was being too hard on him, but shook his head to rid the thoughts. No, he caught _something_ transpiring between those two and, his beard be damned, he was going to nip it in the bud right here, right now. Fili knew better, he was _eighty-two_!

“Uncle, wait!” Fili protested as he turned away. He grabbed a hold of his arm to stop Thorin from walking away. The insistence didn’t hold the obedient tone of the once young dwarrow Thorin helped raise. And he was surprised to hear a challenge in his nephew’s voice.

As the others were filing out with their finds he spoke in a hushed voice so that they wouldn’t be overheard. Kili caught on to the general air of their discussion based on their facial expressions and body language so he lingered behind to give them space. He wondered what Fili could have possibly done to provoke Thorin’s temper, but based on the irked expression on Y/N’s face, he guessed she was somehow involved. 

Ever the curious Durin, Kili lingered nearby trying to catch anything of note out of their conversation. 

Thorin sighed and waited for Fili to finish explaining himself. He had half expected Kili, the reckless ball of youth, to be the one he’d be scolding most often but not Fili of all people. And especially not for something as trivial as this. His oldest nephew argued, “It truly wasn’t what ever you thought you were seeing. I was merely offering comfort and apologizing for a fault I made to cheer her up, I meant no other intent!”

“As honorable as I am sure your ‘intentions’ were, I need not remind you that your abrupt carefree behavior is unbecoming of our family line to an outside perspective,” Thorin said aloud, not bothering to spare Fili the same courtesy of a private discussion. The others could obviously hear them but wisely chose to pretend that they couldn’t. “It is far too early in this quest to be displaying such egregious lapses in judgment, no matter how innocuous. I insist taking care moving forward and not lose your head over a lass.”

Thorin brushed past him but Fili wasn’t finished with him yet. Without a word, Kili fell back to where Y/N was as his brother marched over to Thorin from up ahead, “It was not my intention to disappoint you, Thorin. I will take better care of my actions in the future, you have my word.” 

Thorin nodded curtly and Fili hissed out a whisper, “But as a favor to me, go easy on the lass! She was shaken up from almost becoming troll supper, for Durin’s sake!”

“Which would not have happened had she done as I told her.”

“Aye, that is true, but why are you treating her so brashly? Y/N saw it all happen through her vision and was just trying to help us. Surely this must account for some semblance of faith in the girl—”

Fili was always a persistent little thing, ever since he was young. But for the most part he was very well-behaved. Thorin couldn’t remember the last time he had to inflect such an authoritative tone with him and for it to be now—over a blasted woman, no less—had brought his small shred of patience to its peak. He couldn’t understand why he was being so defensive over her.

“Fili, when you are king someday, you will understand the need for precaution. Aye, her vision came to pass. But be that as it may, there are more details of what she knows that she has refused to divulge. Whether she chooses to relinquish her knowledge in the future is anyone's guess and until we learn her true purpose for coming here, I will not hesitant to exercise caution to keep my people and kin safe.”

Fili kicked his chin up in defiance.

“I trust her.”

Thorin sighed, exasperated. “You do not know her. None of us do, don’t be a fool, Fili.”

“What she saw came to pass! That’s all the proof I need to know that there is truth to her words. Besides, you said you saw runes in her arms the night she fell from the sky, or have you forgotten?”

Thorin waved his hand and turned his back, a clear dismissal and Fili scowled. 

“This discussion over. Conduct yourself in the future, or I will appoint someone else to watch over the girl from here on.” Thorin’s leveled tone was as sharp as his sword and cutting twice as deep. This was a threat, not a request. Having already said his piece, Fili knew there would be nothing else to accomplish from arguing further. Even though he couldn’t fully understand Thorin’s point, it was better to just agree with him and let well enough alone.

“Yes, uncle. I won’t disappoint you again,” Fili said in defeat. Thorin gave him a nod and a pat on the shoulder before he broke away. 

Thorin did admit that Fili had a point, as did Gandalf—Y/N’s vision of the trolls came to pass. But even so, he wasn’t quite prepared to trust her. As he said to Fili, there were things she knew that she was keeping to herself. He knew he wasn’t the only one who noticed; Balin and Gandalf would be fools not to have caught on. But it staggered him how accepting they were of that all because of potential runes she carried upon her. Y/N’s efforts at proving his confidence in her was not starting out favorably. And then there was the matter with Azog being alive... That’s what Y/N had told him. _It couldn’t be true,_ Thorin reasoned. Thinking back to the once young warrior prince who laid waste to that scum of a creature decades ago. _But you didn’t physically see him die of those wounds, did you?_ Another part of him countered. No, but he didn’t need to. Azog was dead. And that was that.

Gandalf’s hurried voice ripped Thorin’s attention away from these vexing thoughts. He didn’t realize until later that he still had Y/N’s weapon in hand, but Thorin was in no mood to give it to her then. He was still unsure what to do with the lass as a whole. 

* * * * *

Kili watched the exchange between his brother and uncle with an inward wince. 

Even the others gave them a wide girth as the two marched ahead—nobody wanted to be caught in that heated spat. Y/N wasn’t talking, but from what he gathered on what little she did tell him, Thorin saw her and Fili talking and blew the situation out of proportion somehow. It didn’t sound like something Thorin would do, but if Fili felt the need to defend himself so fiercely then Kili would lend his belief to her words. 

But he’d ask Fili about it later. For now, he’d keep Y/N company. He looked up at her wondering what to say to add some levity and thought back to Fili’s comment about her thinking he was cute. Kili bit back his smile and held his tongue about it, not wanting to potentially spoiling things further.

“Is Thorin always so grumpy or does he just not like me?” Y/N asked eventually. 

Kili’s grin fell when he saw that he caught how distraught she looked. “He has a temper, but he truly isn’t as cantankerous as he appears. He just needs time to warm up to you, don’t mind him,” he said with a gentle pat to her shoulder. 

Her sigh indicated the reassurance was not helpful in the slightest. 

“Yeah, that’s what Balin said…” Y/N pouted and then she seemed to become further agitated. “He’s so intimidating. I thought he and I would make some progress with each other after our talk from a couple nights ago. I told him that I wanted us to have open communication to clear the air and he said he’d give me a chance to prove myself... but look how he acts after I try to help! I told him about the trolls. And no one bothered to listen to me when I tried to figure out the best way to stop it from happening. For Christ sake, what the hell will it take to...”

Kili listened and nodded thoughtfully as she continued to vent to him. He could understand her frustration a lot better after hearing her thoughts. Kili didn’t have any idea that the two of them had such a discussion to overcome their communication barrier but now that he did, Thorin’s earlier reprimand seemed out of place. Maybe that’s what Fili was arguing with Thorin about.

By the time she finished, Fili finally joined them looking annoyed but determined. Kili asked what their discussion had been about using his eyes and eyebrows, but Fili quickly waved his hand and shook his head. This translated to: later. Not that they would have had time anyway, due to— 

“Something’s coming!” Someone announced. 

“Arm yourselves!” Gandalf instructed. 

Fili immediately thrust Y/N behind him and Kili as the others readied their weapons and braced themselves for danger. There was a rapping sound of thundering thumps which sounded like a stampede of small feet. Was it animals? An onslaught of boar? Couldn’t be… they were too far south of the mountains and the beasts didn’t venture this far out to graze. 

“Stay behind us!” Fili said to Y/N while keeping his senses sharp and focused. 

As the rumbling sound drew closer, a sleigh of rabbits pulling a strange man burst into view. Fili looked to Gandalf to gauge how they should handle this newcomer, but he didn’t appear worried at all. Fili kept his weapon drawn just until Gandalf greeted (and introduced), “Radagast The Brown!”

As Gandalf and Radagast delved into their conversation, the rest of the group mulled around, waiting for them to hurry up and finish. Everyone was ready to move on, but mutually agreed it was the perfect opportunity for a quick bathroom break. During their temporary reprieve, Fili mulled over the exchange between him and Thorin. The words sat sourly inside of him as he picked them apart and analyzed both of their reasoning with as much unbiased logic as he could approach with but in the end, he couldn't understand why Thorin was so upset with him. As if he sensed Fili’s burdened mind, Kili joined his side after he finished doing his business behind a tree. 

The company of his brother always did wonders to soothe his nerves and settle his rampant thoughts. Fili welcomed the comfort Kili brought with him and let it ease upon his shoulders like a warm cloak on a cold night. 

“Want to talk about it?” he asked. 

Fili glanced around to gauge how much time they would have to cover without interruption. The wizards were deeply engaged in whatever it was they were mumbling about over there, Y/N was busy with Bilbo and Thorin was speaking to Balin. The two brothers stood by idly to appear casual but kept their voices low as they spoke. 

“I’m sure you already know. Thorin wasn’t exactly very quiet about his thoughts,” Fili retorted dryly. 

Kili hummed to concur then gave Fili a nudge with his elbow. “What did you and Y/N do to get him so riled, if I may ask?”

“That’s just it. We didn’t _do_ anything! I apologized to her because it was my fault that her vision came to pass—”

“_What_?” Kili cringed at his outburst and dropped his voice to avoid drawing any attention. “How was that _your_ fault?” 

Fili decided to keep the ‘hows’ to himself. Even though both of them were at fault for engaging in conversation instead of watching the ponies, Fili—as the older and more mature brother—should have been more responsible. Or put a stop to it. Or, for goodness sakes, paid more attention! They shouldn’t have ever had that discussion. And more so, he didn’t want Kili to feel any guilt about it or blame himself. Fili would shoulder that load for him so he wouldn’t have to. 

“It just was.”

Kili wasn’t convinced, but when Fili didn’t elaborate, he dropped the subject like a hot potato and quickly jumped to another more important issue he wanted to ask about. “All right, then how exactly did you ask Y/N for forgiveness? It seems silly to react the way that he did over a simple ‘I’m sorry’.” 

Fili explained the way that it happened as honestly as he could. Now that he was describing it out loud, he could finally see how the interaction might appear to someone else. Especially as Kili’s eyebrows flew up and creased a few times. But considering how Fili and Y/N had had a friendly interaction similar to this a few nights ago, it felt normal for them, so he overlooked the potential eyebrow raising it might elicit. Well, normal enough to understand that there were no hidden meanings like Thorin was trying to ascribe. Fili had to make sure to properly emphasize that it wasn’t meant to be anything serious; the bowing and the hand kissing was just a playful gesture. To his annoyance, he became exasperated at the growing smirk on Kili’s face the more he attempted to advocate what happened. 

“Ah, I see,” Kili said in an all too pleased tone. The type of tone that suggested that whatever Fili just said to him was being heaped together and molded into something entirely unfavorable. 

Fili regarded him sternly. “It was just a simple jest. A _friendly_ jest, nothing more.”

Kili rolled his lips in to stop his smile from growing, his head bobbing along compliantly, even though his expression had spoken volumes on how he truly felt. The scamp. He might as well have taken Thorin's side, just reacting more downplayed in his opposing accusation.

“_Friendly._ Mhm,” Kili sniffed unconvincingly before dipping down to tighten his boot strings. Fili heard a stifle of a laugh from down there and gave his bum a kick. Kili giggled in response and seemed to gather himself. “Then what happened?”

Not knowing what Kili already overheard, Fili gave a brief overview of what Thorin publicly demanded of him moving forward including, rather bitterly, the threat to strip him of his caretaker duties. Kili hummed deep in thought. After he finished off the other boot laces and stood back up, he carried with him a curious expression that made Fili feel uneasy. 

Kili swept his eyes over to Thorin and refocused on Fili when he was sure nobody was looking and whispered, “Does he think that you’ve been flirting with her?”

Oh, that was just ridiculous! Fili couldn’t hold back the immediate impulse to laugh. But when Kili didn’t join him and just continued to stare with that concerning expression, he began to question all of the things he just defended himself against and wondered if Thorin’s points were more valid than he thought. This made him severely uncomfortable. 

“Have I…” Fili stopped. He wondered if he should ask. Ask if maybe he had been overstepping his bounds with Y/N in making innocuous excuses to justify why he was doing so. Nobody else said anything about their interactions, or paid them any mind as far as he knew—it was already established that Y/N was in Fili’s care, so that entailed them to keep close to one another. A part of him wanted Kili to agree with him and take his side. That Thorin was merely blowing the whole thing out of proportion and jumping to ridiculous conclusions over something far fetched. They meant no harm. They weren’t _flirting._ Right? Right…? Fili tried not to think of how uncharacteristically brash he reacted to Kili teasing him for fancying her and— 

_Oh, Mahal._

He felt his face flush once again remembering the kiss Y/N planted upon his cheek. Then the blush she sported when he kissed her hand to seal their promise and wondered if maybe Thorin was onto something after all. If he had been snippy with Kili for something as trivial teasing him for liking someone, he wondered if others had noticed changes in his behavior, too. It couldn’t be possible. He barely knew the lass! But what if Y/N started to think he’d been showcasing interest concerning romantic endeavors? Ugh, what a headache this all was… 

To alleviate his worries of a case of the butterflies that arrived at that worrying thought, Fili trusted the honesty of his brother. 

“Have I been expressing untoward behavior towards Y/N?”

Kili gave this question some honest consideration. He looked between Y/N and Fili. He recalled that special lilt in Fili’s voice when he overheard them at first camp flirting—oh, pardon him, “talking”. He knew his brother well. And in all his seventy-seven years of life growing up with the lad, Kili had to admit that he’s never seen Fili respond to any of the dwarrowdams from the Blue Mountains in the same fashion that he did with Y/N. Was it because she was otherworldly? Was it because she was oddly charming in her mannerisms and way of speech than others from Middle Earth? Was it because she may have an affinity for their people supposedly tattooed into her skin that made him feel closer to her? 

Kili admitted to being taken with the lass for these reasons alone, and the fact that she paid him such a flattering compliment of his not-beard, but Fili was fiercely protective of her in a way that was a little strange considering how short a time they knew each other. The way he defended her honor when they were watching the ponies was unexpected and harsh then, but now that he looked back and approached the cause of those actions in a new light… 

It was too early for Kili to know for sure. But a part of him had begun tuning into a deeper part of this whole thing that might take Fili some time to realize on his own. Kili didn’t have time to manage anything else except, “Be of care with her,” since Y/N had ventured back over with Bilbo following behind before they could properly conclude their discussion. 

Fili wasn’t sure how to take in such rushed, ominous words but he couldn’t afford to linger on them now that Y/N was there. Kili welcomed their friends with a warm smile and disengaged from his brother and their conversation.

“Do you think we can start heading out soon?” Y/N asked. She was surveying the dense trees behind them as if she were looking for something. Kili shrugged.

“Depends entirely on them,” he canted his head towards the wizards. Who were still talking. 

“Shouldn’t be too much longer,” Fili noted. He couldn’t blame her, was itching to leave, too.

A few minutes later, he felt a gentle pressure leaning on his shoulder and looked to Kili first, thinking he needed something. But his brother’s attention was elsewhere. That left only one person. As he looked over his shoulder, he felt a pang of worry. Y/N was staring out behind them still as stone gripping him even tighter. And when she turned to look at him, her face was pale and her eyes were wide as if she saw a ghost. 

“What is it?” he whispered, looking around her trying to see whatever it was that caused this spooked look on her face. He feared that the beginnings of a vision were about to take place and he wasn’t prepared for what he should do if it happened. Realizing he had both of his hands on her arms as a curious natural impulse, Fili quickly dropped them and cast a nervous glance Thorin’s way. After just having been reprimanded for taking such forward liberties, along with the warning from Kili, he did not want his uncle to strip him of his guardianship over another misunderstanding. But Thorin was right, in a way. Just because Y/N came from a more forward world did not grant him the right to reciprocate such behavior. No matter how badly he wanted to. He needed to protect her. For some reason, he felt like he was the only person who should. 

“We need to go!” Y/N whispered back. 

“What?”

“We need to go!” she yelled. 

Y/N burst away as if she was in pursuit and Fili strained to catch sight of whatever had caused her such a fright. He dimly recalled her saying something about a man before her vision overcame her but he couldn’t find any ominous figures lurking in the trees. Why was she so scared? 

Then he heard it. That sound. That god awful sound that he’d only known about through tales Thorin, Dwalin, and Balin told him growing up. He reached for his ax and signaled for Kili to ready his bow.

She ran over to Thorin and Gandalf, interrupting the discussion they were having, “We need to move! Now!”

No action was taken to her pleas to leave. The wizards were irked that she interrupted them from what was a very important conversation, and Thorin’s complete lack of regard for her urgency had enraged Fili on Y/N’s behalf. There was a distinct howl in the distance. So faint that if Y/N had not mentioned it, he would have brushed it off as a trick of the wind. But he trusted Y/N and knew that she would not act so fearful over nothing. Quickly, he rushed to her side, ready to defend.

“She’s right!” he said, just as the first of the more howls rang through the air. Everyone stilled. 

“Was that a wolf? Are there wolves out there?” Bilbo asked nervously. 

“Wolf? No, that is not a wolf,” Bofur corrected, gripping his mattock tight to his chest as his eyes scanned the trees. 

Y/N shrieked and pointed at the looming figure that prowled up behind them and just as it lunged, Fili knocked her away for cover just as Thorin killed the giant beast, with Kili following suit on another unwelcome warg scout.

After Gandalf low-key interrogated Thorin on who he told about the quest beyond his kin, Thorin’s steely gaze turned to the girl full of betrayal and suspicion. Fili’s chest tightened at the ire direct her way and was about to speak up until Gandalf said, “The girl has nothing to do with this! You are being hunted!”

“We have to get out of here…” Dwalin urged. 

“Yes! Finally, you’re all talking sense. Let’s go!” Y/N all but shouted, waving them on to hurry up.

“We can’t…” Ori lamented. “We have no ponies. They bolted.” 

As the howling and barking grew in number and got closer, Fili knew they had no choice but to foot it from here. And fast. If an Orc pack truly wasn’t far behind from the scouts they just killed, then they didn’t have time to waste. Y/N’s safety came first to him. As soon as Gandalf barked out which direction they needed to head in while Radagast led them off, Fili took her hand in his and ran. This time, he didn’t spare any care for what repercussions might come for his actions. 

He was not letting go.

* * *

“I’d kill for an apple.” Y/N said as she kicked at the pebbles at their feet. 

Fili grinned at her. “Fancy yourself some sweeties, aye? Personally, I get a craving for meat pastries after a good fight.”

She kicked another pebble; it bounced between Bilbo’s and Bifur’s legs before skirting off to the side and hitting the wall. The sound was very gentle, much like her voice. 

Y/N laughed humorlessly. “Yeah. Nothing like your life flashing before your eyes to awaken a need for sugary, high-calorie, teeth-rotting junk food to gorge yourself with.”

His smile fell. Even though Y/N was not harmed in any way, he didn’t stop to think of how the Orc attack would have affected her. He grew up on tales of Orcs and their menace. He and his brother both were trained as warriors since dwarflinghood, and was faced with the potential of running into these very horrors the moment he finally convinced Thorin to agree to take him and Kili on the quest. 

It had been the first time he battled Orcs, sure, but he was prepared for it. Y/N was not. Mahal, he was so focused on keeping her safe he didn’t even think about how scared she must have been. And everything happened so fast! 

He wanted to offer her comfort. Hold her hand, place a gentle touch on her arm; the usual friendly gestures one shares with their companions. But Thorin’s talk with him from earlier held him back, chaining those thoughts and urges like a dog to its doghouse. When Kili gave Y/N a grip on the shoulder and she leaned her face into him, Fili felt a sink in his chest, but he couldn’t bring himself to feel down about it. Y/N needed to be consoled, even if it wasn’t coming from him. 

* * * * *

Y/N was in much lighter spirits after a bit of walking through the cave path, knowing that safety waited just beyond the way. Bilbo in particular seemed especially pleased to take at least partial credit for her uplifted mood—even though Fili and Kili had a hand in it as well. Bilbo distracted her with calming words, and how the situation reminded him of one of his favorite stories from childhood. It seemed to ward off the impending hand of shock waiting to grip her in its clutches from the darkness.

But Y/N’s adrenaline from the fight began to run out the further they went from that hidden slope in the field Gandalf led them to during the attack from the pack of Orcs. 

And now that it was basically gone, the full weight of what happened had finally started to set in. She was in very real danger here. For perhaps the hundredth time Y/N was reminded that she was not dreaming this adventure. She was living it. 

And for the first time since she officially met them, Thorin’s crude remarks about her being a burden rang true. While everyone was able to defend each other, Y/N could only stand about like the damsel in distress she so desperately didn’t want to be. Her head dipped lower in self-loathing. Thorin didn’t say anything to her directly as they trudged onward, but she could still hear it clearly in her head: you are a burden amongst us. 

“Don’t say that! As long as you’re with me, I won’t let anything happen to you, and it’s no trouble at all.” 

She started and promptly blushed. Oh, crap… she didn’t mean to say that out loud. Y/N gave Fili a meek look for his kind words, though her face remained downcast.

“That’s right, between the two of us, you’re as safe as can be! No burden at all.” Kili pegged her with an encouraging smile in hopes it would bring her some cheer. He received little success. Y/N’s thoughts were elsewhere, churning, churning… trying to make sense of what happened and what needs to happen so she could do better for them. She still didn’t have the foggiest idea on if her “task” was a success or not. 

This was not the first time she thought this, but Y/N yearned for home and the safety and comfort it offered. Was time running on without her? Was she missed or being looked for? There would be many instances in this fantastical land that would test Y/N’s aptitude—or lack thereof—of her survival skills. Nothing like she would have endured back on earth. Would she even survive?

But then…

Fili didn’t leave her side. He defended her from any Orc that wandered too close. Everyone, including Bilbo, did their part in standing ground and fending the beasts off. And all Y/N could do was stand there. She had no weapon. No way of helping. As soon as danger was present, her mind clicked into fight mode, but with nothing to attack with, she was stuck in a frightened stasis reduced to throwing rocks with Ori that did virtually nothing. And the sheer violence… she witnessed death. Bodies dropped like flies around them. Sure, they were Orcs and she held no remorse for those wretched monstrosities, but watching anything being killed right in front of you if you weren’t used to that sort of thing was another shocking situation altogether.

She thought back to her conversation with Dwalin; to think she insisted she be trained to fight. To kill… If Y/N were properly armed and trained, she wasn’t sure if she could actually find it in her to kill anything. Even an Orc. But if one's life was at stake, that was always a different matter. It was easy to plan anything until those plans were put into practice. 

Y/N let out a sigh. She couldn’t wait to see Rivendell in person. It was such a beautiful place in her dreams, she could only imagine what its splendor would be like up close. It would be the perfect distraction from being the dead weight she feared she was starting to become, precognitive dreaming abilities or not. 

“Seer, a word.” 

Ah, just the person she wanted to speak to the most. Not. Y/N swallowed back her nervousness as Thorin made his way down the line towards her. He canted his head for Fili and Kili to make way and they took the hint to give them space. 

Thorin’s voice was surprisingly gentle. “How fare you?”

“I’m-I’m okay.” 

“The shock will pass.”

As if he knew and understood exactly why she was shaken. She found it odd that he gave it any notice but could only shrug. Her mind frame wasn’t fit for holding conversations with the horrors she witnessed just under half an hour ago. Everyone else seemed to carry on fine, but Y/N still wasn’t used to this. And if her dreams were anything for her to go by, it was only going to get worse from here on in. And scarier. 

He softly cleared his throat. “You warned us of danger, but I did not react in time. I could have spared the attack if I had been quicker.” 

Y/N eyed him carefully from the side. She wasn’t certain if he was trying to make her feel better, but it seemed as though he were trying to apologize without overtly uttering the words. That was typical Thorin. She wanted to be annoyed at him—and she would have been—but she also knew that he must have swallowed a lot of his pride just to come talk to her about it. Y/N still felt that she was warranted a proper apology but didn’t want to press her luck. Besides, the entire event still played out exactly as it did from her dream. She realized then that she didn’t actually want an apology… she wanted his respect and trust. Y/N didn’t know how much longer it would take before she was granted it, or if she would even earn it at all. 

How many casualties or visions would she need to suffer through before she could approach Thorin without fear of being unheeded?

“It’s not your fault. Gandalf didn’t listen, either, and I don’t think there was anything we could have done to stop that from happening anyway.” The muffled voices of the Company as they walked down the hollow tunnels reverberated up and down the path in masculine mumbles. It reminded of her being in a stairwell, only this place smelled damp and earthy. Her hand traveled down the grooves and bumps of the stone wall while she walked. It was cool to the touch.

Thorin paused before answering and glanced down at her arms. “Did you see the Orcs in the vision you had?”

Fili looked back at them, also curious. Y/N shook her head. “Just the trolls.”

“I see. In any case, we are all unharmed, so that is worth a small victory.”

True, but she still felt rather worthless from a battlefront perspective. Orcs were much larger (and terrifying) in appearance than she thought they’d be. Y/N wasn’t so sure she would even stand a chance at taking one on in hand to hand combat. She thought back to Dwalin’s instructions from before the troll incident and looked down at her hands. Practicing with Bilbo’s walking stick seemed more folly than preparation. She couldn’t fathom how’d she fare with an actual sword. Her hands were capable of many things but wielding a weapon was not among them. 

"If you encounter any further premonitions of our journey moving forward, I shall listen," he continued. 

“I’m sorry,” she muttered suddenly. “I couldn’t help. I just… stood there.”

Thorin looked at her and sighed deeply. Y/N was deeply ashamed for being useless to them and Thorin refrained from offering her any form of pity. 

“There is nothing to apologize for. You had no weapon at your disposal and this world is not like your own. In fact, I am quite impressed that you did not faint.” 

Y/N huffed out a small laugh. That thought had never crossed her mind. “I never was much of a fainter. I ain’t no dainty lass, either! But I’m not gonna lie, I was still really scared.”

She cast a quick look at Fili, thinking how thankful she was that he was there to protect her. There was no telling what she would have done if he didn’t have her back like he did. Fili happened to catch her eye when he looked over his shoulder. She communicated her gratitude with a sincere smile and he returned it with a nod. 

Thorin smirked but nodded in understanding. “I would think you a fool if you weren’t. In the thick of battle, it is important to remain sound of mind. You stood your ground even without taking arms when you could have run. That says a lot about your natural instincts.” He glanced at her and nodded, satisfied with whatever it was he was thinking about. “You are stronger than you think.” 

In the time that it took for Fili to gawk at his uncle with raised eyebrows, and for Y/N to be rendered stupid for this unexpected compliment, Thorin removed something strapped to his back and held it up in the little light they had. It was a sword. He gave it a brief once over, regarding it with rapt disapproval before holding the weapon by the hilt for her to take. 

“This should serve you well enough.”

At first all she could do was stare at him. Her eyes flicked dubiously between the sword and Thorin before she understood that he was handing it to her, not showing it off.

It was a fine blade. Larger than Bilbo’s and incredibly lighter than it looked. There were engravings on the steel that could have been letters or an intricate pattern of sorts. Based on the delicacy of the design of the sword she knew which race in Middle Earth had forged it. 

“An Elf sword?” Fili questioned in mild shock. He and his brother had been looking on stunned. 

Thorin’s upper lip quirked up in blatant disapproval. “Aye. It will do, I suppose. And you,” he directed his attention back to Y/N. “will need more training. Elf sword or not, this is not a toy.”

Y/N fought the urge not to roll her eyes. She didn’t appreciate the condescending tone from him, but now she wasn’t so sure she could train with a weapon. She hadn’t perfected the art of “holding a sword”, and only had a night of practice with a walking stick, for godsakes. 

Thorin mistook her look of apprehension as ingratitude and he scoffed indignantly. “We cannot afford to be picky of the resources we stumble across. If a weapon is too much for you to handle—”

“No! It’s not that. It’s just… Dwalin told me I should earn my strength for a sword before I can get one. All I’ve had to use for practice was a stick.”

“As I said, you are stronger than you think,” Thorin assured. “We haven’t the time for you to waste swinging about walking sticks. This is your blade now; treat it with care.”

A wave of encouragement surged through Y/N the more she looked at the weapon. Her weapon. Maybe she _could_ do this. She remembered the footing and swinging techniques that Dwalin taught her, so if she applied that in conjunction with a real weapon, she could build her confidence. 

“I can train you, if you’d like!” Fili piped in. She didn’t realize he’d been watching her. Thorin shot him a stern look before Kili hastily added, “We both will! We’ll teach you everything we know.”

“Thanks!” Y/N smiled. Then turning to Thorin and lifting her new sword, “And thank you for this.”

Thorin, still wearing that same disgruntled look, gave a sigh before marching his way up to the front, mumbling to himself as he left. She wasn’t sure if she was supposed to hear any of it, but due to the density of the cave, key bits of Thorin’s words echoed around her until they echoed their way into her mind. 

_ Burden. _

_ Doesn’t belong with us. _

_ Mistake. _

And just like that, the little shred of peace she hoped to make with Thorin was snuffed out like a candle to the wind. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn. Fili seems to be having a case of the struggles. And Thorin's being a distrustful grumpy grump. Maybe a few days in Rivendell will help.


	8. Calm Before The Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The arrival at Rivendell brings questions and revelations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, a huge thank you to Laura for helping me out immensely with organizing my ideas and offering helpful feedback. I realized that the timeline of the Company's travels was a bit off up to this point. From Bag-End to Rivendell, they should have been traveling together over the course of a few weeks now, not several days/a week like I had originally written. But I now have a good handle on the timeline and pacing that will be needed to develop the relationships, story, and distance for their travels. Please excuse me for the slight mix up and any editorial errors you stumble across in this chapter. 
> 
> They stay in Rivendell for 3 days, so the next 3 chapters will be covering each day of their visit. Thank you all for reading, leaving me such kind comments, kudos and I hope you're enjoying the story so far!

“Thirteen Dwarves, a Halfling, and a human woman. Strange traveling companions, Gandalf,” Lord Elrond mused from over the rim of his goblet. 

The familiar peace and calm of his halls had long since been disrupted the moment this ragtag band of fellows had marched their way into his home. Elrond didn’t mind. He rather enjoyed entertaining visitors, even though these particular guests were more so entertaining them than the other way around. After inviting them inside for food, he oversaw the two tables the Dwarves had been accommodated as they fussed over their food and the selected music his people were offering them and kept a curious eye on Thorin. This wary, reserved Dwarf chose to be nearer to his comrades so as to evade all interrogations; Lord Elrond assumed he made the fellow uncomfortable with his prying but didn’t hold it against him. _Such a troubled soul,_ the Elf thought to himself. Gandalf had his plate full with that one for certain. 

The liveliness that followed in this race’s wake seemed to be an atmosphere all its own. Dinners in Rivendell were seldom awash with such activity and… well, noise. But it certainly bode to keep things interesting, as far as Lord Elrond was concerned. Poor Lindir was beside himself with anxiety. The Dwarves were brutish and rude; Lindir was a quiet, respectable soul who took comfort in a more orderly, peaceful structure in life. He had tried to avoid direct contact with them at all costs and did not engage in any sort of conversation. Elrond could hear him every now and then sighing. He could only grin in response. 

As the flurry of Dwarven table manners and obscene dinner topics took place, Elrond’s eyes strayed over to the woman next. Lady Y/N had politely declined his offer to sit with him, Gandalf, and Thorin at his table; choosing instead to remain close to her friends. She sat at the far end of the table at Elrond’s left, where the Halfling was. Thorin had chosen that particular table to linger and drink though his sight wasn’t focused on anything or anyone in particular. 

“These are the descendants of the House of Durin! They’re noble, decent folk, surprisingly cultured; they've got a deep love of the arts!” Gandalf explained charmingly. Elrond smirked, knowing such kind words on their behalf had been lain with heavy embellishment to say the least as they all were profusely complaining of their host’s choice of sustenance and music. It was curious seeing the girl so at peace with such a rowdy crowd. She seemed perfectly at home in their midst. Elrond also observed that her clothing was obviously borrowed from them and had ordered for his kin to fetch her more appropriate attire to wear for when she was finished with her bath after dinner. 

Her footwear was rather strange to him, as were her choice of words and manner of speech. Many thoughts and questions rose in his mind at this unlikely band of travelers. The Dwarves were also quite protective of her, particularly the blond one. So it wasn’t surprising that he was the one was seated closest to her. Indeed, Elrond was very interested for Gandalf to explain to him just exactly where she came from and why she was here. 

“And what of this woman? How did a lady get herself tangled with this particular group?” he inquired. 

Gandalf was caught off guard and took a moment to collect his thoughts when abruptly, one of the Dwarves felt fit to entertain them all with a song about a man at an inn. Gandalf welcomed the rather well-timed diversion, but knew that Lord Elrond was the person to speak to about this whole situation. But not here. And not with this audience within earshot. As Gandalf dodged an incoming bread roll, shooting a look of apology towards his good Elven friend on the antics of those he brought with him, he wondered if the purpose of Y/N’s arrival to Middle Earth could finally be made clear. 

* * * * *

“Who threw that!?” Y/N shouted towards the other table where the mashed potato was hurled from. There were many fingers pointing towards the supposed culprit. The only problem was, everyone was pointing at each other and then promptly returned to their horseplay. Her outrage was quickly forgotten as the war ensued. Y/N didn’t partake in the spontaneous food fight that broke out as an odd sort of overture to Bofur’s jovial song, no matter how fun it looked. She was much too aware of her manners to behave so poorly at the table. In front of their hosts. Who were, you know, sitting right friggin’ there. 

Bilbo looked equally mortified, but had the sense to dash away from the table before it got too out of hand. The Elves who circled around made sure to stay way back and well out of range from the oncoming arsenal of food. It was a wise move, but Y/N didn’t think it would go on for as long as it did. There was no way she could escape unscathed now.

The Dwarves were having a great time and had no care at all that their precious beards and hair were being coated with a variety of “green foods” and crumbs. Even Dori, as finicky as he is, was chucking his own share of food across the table. 

Y/N had potato all over her face and hair and angrily wiped it off just in time for another mound to be tossed at her. She ducked her head behind her hands and slumped in defeat praying for them to stop soon. 

“Oi! I saw that, Nori! Don’t you worry, Lady Y/N, I’ll avenge you!” Dori vowed, picking up one of her bread rolls to retaliate the attack. 

“Take that!” Ori joined, tossing out the contents of his salad bowl. 

“Balin, I have carrots with yer name on ‘im!”

“Have some greens!”

Laughter and vows of revenge were exchanged through the air along with so much wasted food that the Dwarves were probably not going to eat anyway. Y/N peeked her eyes up to look across at Fili, hoping for someone at the table to share in her woes. But he had happily joined in the festivities of Table One versus Table Two. _They’re like a bunch of children!_ She thought. 

“Fancy yourself some buns, Dwalin? Take _this_!” Fili shouted. He ducked with a chipper laugh and joined the tangle of hands snagging any remaining food on the table to toss. Food was everywhere. Y/N was almost glad there wasn’t any meat dishes brought out; she couldn’t even imagine what that would smell like. Oh, god and the cleanup…

Almost too afraid to look, Y/N glanced over to Lord Elrond’s table. Gandalf looked apologetic but resigned, meanwhile Elrond was watching all the food fly back and forth with a sort of sagely tolerance that Y/N couldn’t help but admire. It was like he was already dreading and anticipating all the work that had to be done to tidy the hall back up. She had a feeling that, unlike at Bilbo’s place, the Dwarves wouldn’t be as willing to help clean this mess up once they were finished with the food fight. She didn’t know if she could be this cool about someone trashing her home. It was almost too cringe-worthy to think about.

She happened to lock eyes with Lindir, Elrond’s assistant, just in time to see his eyes widen at a large tomato making its landing on her head with a wet splat. 

“Are you freaking kidding me—” And more potatoes. “That does it, I’m out of here!” Y/N rose and scrambled away, frowning at all the debris that was soaked onto her skin, hair, and clothes. The small shred of a nerve she had left was nearly extinguished upon seeing Thorin—broody, pugnacious, diva—Oakenshield _encouraging_ this behavior! Of all people! But as quick as the irked feeling came, it left just as swiftly. Thorin was actually laughing, smiling, and having… fun. 

As a shocking visage of his future demise penetrated her thoughts, and all the events that would lead up to it, Y/N decided that he deserved to enjoy himself. He had no idea what was to come in the following months. He had no idea of the close calls, the feeling of failure, the madness, that he and his friends would be subject to. But she did. Fili and Kili, still laughing and tossing buns at each other from their opposing tables, also deserved a night of fun. 

Now taking the whole thing much less seriously, Y/N laughed along with them from the sidelines. They all deserved this small solace from the horrors of the quest that awaited them. And Y/N, once again, promised herself that she would find a way to save them from it. 

* * * * *

“You’re… coming in with me?” Y/N asked. She was just in the process of undressing when a few of the She-Elves who accompanied her down the halls to the bathing room were doing the very same. Y/N flushed and looked away as they undid the twists and ties in their hair and helped each other out of their dresses. 

An Elf, already topless and shimmying very gracefully out of her skin tight skirts, looked at her inquisitively. “Do you often bathe alone?”

The naked Elves waded into the large pool and sighed contently, going about their business and completely untroubled at being completely bare in front of a total stranger. Y/N’s fingers gripped the neck of her food-stained tunic. She couldn’t quite summon the courage to disrobe. 

“Doesn’t everybody?” she responded, swallowing her sudden embarrassment and trying desperately not to stare at them and all of their perfection. The Elven women were built delicately and slender in frame, though they had their fair share of curves in the right places. They weren’t very endowed in the chest area except for two of them and thankfully said duo were already submersed in the water.

A couple She-Elves gathered up their kin’s clothing and waited for Y/N to join them in the water. She was handed soap and bottles filled with oils and lotions that had a flowery, sweet aroma to them. Even though they were all women here, Y/N was still reluctant to get in the water fully nude. Not because she was self-conscious of her body—which she was—but because this would be the first time she’d be bathing publicly with people she didn’t know. 

The Elf who was gathering up the discarded clothing had a masculine bone structure and strong jawline, but soft, obviously feminine features. She reminded Y/N of the actress, Brie Larson, except the Elf’s eyes were a deep green instead of brown, and her hair was brunette, like the majority of the Rivendell Elves. 

“We can prepare you a private bath, if you wish. It will take some time for us to ready it, however,” she explained. Y/N was thankful to hear the understanding in her voice. Even though she was shy, and bathing with a group of strangers wasn’t socially unaccepted where she came from, Y/N was happy that she still was made to feel welcomed.

“No, that’s okay. It’s just my first time with a group is all… um… where should I put my clothes?”

“You can give them to me. My name is Elenaril. My Lord Elrond has instructed me to provide you with proper clothing; I’ll have these washed and returned to you and…”

Her eyes dipped down and locked onto Y/N’s sneakers. She tilted her head and raised a perfectly arched brow. “And offer you suitable footwear.” She finished with a tilt of her head. Obviously nobody in Middle Earth had ever seen Nikes before. 

Y/N fingers hesitated at the hem of her tunic, knowing Elenaril was waiting for her to remove them so she could go about her tasks. Tossing her shame aside Y/N decided, fuck it. And pulled off layer after dirty layer. She embraced her nudity and handed over her borrowed clothes until she was standing in the middle of the room bare as a babe. Her cheeks were pink at being on full display, but the others paid her no mind. She would just pretend she was at Japan, in one of those onsen springs. 

Elenaril bent down to retrieve her shoes, observing them and humming with dumbfounded fascination. 

“May I make a request for my clothing?” 

The Elf tore her eyes away from Y/N’s shoes and held her stare with a smile. “Of course.”

“Can I have pants? We’re going to be doing a lot of walking and I really hate skirts—no offense to any of you! I just… I’ve never worn them.”

Y/N was given a peculiar look at but Elenaril nodded and waved over another of her kin who was laying out towels, and spoke to her in their native tongue. After she handed her the clothing, Elenaril turned her focus back to Y/N and instructed her to hold out her arms and adjust her stance. Before Y/N could refuse or question why that was necessary, she pulled out a tape measure to get her measurements. 

“It is rare for a female to wear trousers, but not highly uncommon,” she explained as she quickly and efficiently made her circle around Y/N. Lifting her arm and aligning the tape along her various body parts. 

“Is there a particular color you fancy?” 

“Are you making the clothes from scratch?!” 

Y/N caught a soft smile as the Elf disappeared behind her. 

“Just the trousers. There may be several top pieces I can adjust to your size that we have readily available, but our clan of females do not partake in wearing them, so those will need to be sewn.”

Y/N fidgeted in place, trying not to mess up the astute measuring going on. “I’m sorry for the trouble… any color will work for me. How much will it cost for the clothes? I have a few silver pieces in my bag.”

Elenaril finished up taking Y/N’s size and waved her hands. “It will cost you nothing, they are a gift from Lord Elrond to you.” 

Y/N opened her mouth to protest and Elenaril held up her hand. “Please accept his gift as a token of his friendship. If you must offer something in return, he would happily accept your company whenever you are available.” There was no room for argument and Y/N could tell by the firm look in her eyes for her not to fuss on about it. The generosity was quite humbling, but Y/N had no choice but to accept it.

Man… Elrond was the kindest, most laid back person ever. Y/N thanked Elenaril before saying her goodbye and dipping herself into the warm, rose-scented waters of the bath. She made a mental note to speak to Elrond later to voice her gratitude for not only his hospitality, but for being so kind them, especially after Thorin was unjustifiably rude when they were introduced. 

It was this sort of act of kindness that had Y/N counting her blessings. There was no telling how many more she’d get. 

* * *

Lindir and Elrond were taking a stroll after the insanity that was dinner. While their guests were busy washing themselves, the valley was taking a much needed reprieve. Elrond was waiting for Gandalf to finish getting cleaned up and rested enough to speak further about why they were here, and to inquire about the strange girl. The whispers of the mysterious “colorful storm” that fleetingly appeared in the Shire a few weeks ago sprung to mind. There was obviously a connection.

He remembered that day. Galadriel had approached him with the news that “someone has come to us from far away” and he was now certain that that someone was Lady Y/N. As the two Elves traveled through the gardens and bridges of their humble valley, Elrond hoped he could speak with Lady Y/N soon and gain some answers. He kept such thoughts to himself as he and Lindir spoke of their other guests who were proving themselves quite taxing in just under several hours of being there. 

“_The kitchen's under enormous strain, we are almost out of wine. How long do you think they will be with us?_” Lindir asked. 

Elrond could relate to his concern, but he was still prepared to be their host for however long was deemed necessary. “_That has yet to be decided._” 

He stopped short after seeing yet another strain on his patience. It was as if they were trying to be as burdensome as possible. 

Dwarves. Naked Dwarves. Naked Dwarves bathing in Rivendell’s sacred fountain. Elrond cursed for not having told them that bathing in that fountain was strictly prohibited. But then again, he shouldn’t have had to. But alas, he had made the mistake of underestimating these Dwarves for the second time this day. Still unsure as to how much time they’d need to remain in his care, he was already bracing himself for whatever else they were going to throw at him—figuratively, he hoped. 

“_How long do you suppose it will take to disinfect and purify the fountain?_” Lindir asked weakly, unable to tear his eyes away but wishing so desperately that he could. 

Elrond sighed. “_A week at least. Three if they… relieved themselves in it._”

Lindir shuddered at the thought. 

* * * * *

“No! My hair tie!” Y/N whined after a distinctive _snap!_ had announced the early death of a necessity Y/N would sorely miss for the remainder of the journey. She looked at the black piece of wrapped rubber; a pathetic little worm of a thing completely non-salvageable in terms of keeping her hair up and out of her face. Now what was she supposed to do? She was the only person she saw wearing her hair up in a ponytail, so she doubted they had an abundance of scrunchies laying around. 

Arlynn, one of the Elves she had gotten acquainted with in the bath made her way over with towels wrapped in her hair and body. 

“What is it, _tinu_?” she asked. After learning she had come from A Land Beyond the Stars, they had dubbed her _tinu_—“star” in their native tongue. Y/N meekly held up the small piece of rubber and Arlynn took it in her hand, uncertain what she was looking at. She stretched the ends of it, marveling at its elasticity before handing it back. 

“That _was_ my hair tie,” Y/N sighed. “I used it to keep my hair out of my face.”

“You can achieve the same function with some clips and hair adornments. We have plenty to choose from! Come,” Arlynn pulled Y/N over to where their hair station was located in the bathing room and Y/N wasn’t sure where to start. She had never seen any of these pieces before. All of them were clips or wire-wrapped works of art that looked more like desk decorations than things you wore in your hair. But she did notice a handful of ribbons that might do the trick. 

“You’ve such lovely hair, why not wear it down?” Another Elf suggested. 

Her eyes widened and she pointed to her wet hair, “Wear this unmanageable beast _down_? I don’t think so.” 

The Elves didn’t stifle their giggles and Y/N pouted. Easy for them to say, their hair was pristine and perfect. Meanwhile Y/N had “armpit head”—thanks, Bofur—and would look like a great poof if she ever attempted to tame her wild locks. But the Elves seemed to have another plan in store for her. They spoke among themselves, gesturing to oils and other bottles and held up a variety of different hair accessories that looked much too complicated for Y/N to fathom how to use. 

“With your permission,” Arlynn started, picking up a comb and a bottle of something-or-other, “We could tend to your hair and apply a treatment to it so that the climate is more… forgiving to your locks. Would you like us to show you?” When Y/N hesitated, she smiled patiently. “I’ve also had a few hair ribbons packed among your things, so that you may tie your hair up whenever you see fit. But should you like to pretty yourself, there is a simple style I’d like to suggest.”

Who was Y/N to turn down a free hairstyle? “Sure! Style away.”

Arlynn was a very skilled hairstylist, as it turned out. Y/N was seated in front of a grand mirror watching as the Elf explained how to properly apply the styling oils and demonstrated how to perform the more simple twists and braids to achieve a very distinguished look that come across as very intricate; with little to no effort. After she finished demonstrating, she had Y/N do the other side of her hair and she squealed at how easy it was, and how amazing her looked finally looked. In all her years of slaving away at the salon and watching hours of YouTube tutorials that her hair seemed to laugh at, she never would have known that something this beautiful could be so easy to do! Then again, not everyone walked about Florida with a Viking Woman-style hair do. 

The sides of her hair was pulled back out of her face and smoothed towards the back of her head, which was down and wavy along her back. The top piece of her hair looked like a faux, volumed Mohawk of sorts that pulled back into a plump braid. It would serve its purpose in keeping her hair out of her way while also adding a bit of flair. She was surprised that she wasn’t given a more Elven updo, but was actually quite thankful for it. She actually looked a bit majestic and fierce this way. 

“I love it!” she breathed, turning her face this way and that to admire the look from all angles. “It’s perfect, thank you.”

“My pleasure, _tinu_! Elenaril should be finished with your attire soon. We can meet her there in your chamber to get you dressed. Here, put this on.”

Being freshly washed, sporting a new hairstyle and surrounded by a charming, helpful company of kind Elven women, and slipping into this ivory-silk robe made Y/N feel like she was preparing for her wedding. Which was a silly thought, of course. But this experience was the exact formula that she assumed was the natural “readying” process for an impending bride to be. Many of her friends had already tied the knot, but Y/N had never given thought to marriage, not seriously. She’d had many serious relationships in the past but despite how well some of them went, none of the men she had dated ever felt like marriage material. “The One,” to be put more bluntly— if such a thing existed. 

She wasn’t even sure what she wanted, let alone who. But now that she was here and gave the matter some serious consideration after being pampered with some “girlfriends”, Y/N couldn’t help but feel a bit sad for herself. It was a pity that she might never return home and experience that wonderful day that all women dream about at least once in their life. 

Y/N shook her head to rid her of those demure thoughts but then decided to enjoy the moment. Just because it was a far fetched idea didn’t mean she wasn’t allowed to dream about it. She followed behind the Elven maids as they talked and escorted her to her room that Elrond had given her, basking in the fantasy that she was prettying up to present herself to her future husband. Since Y/N was immersed in this beautiful land, she pretended that she lived here in Middle Earth and found love. She played with the idea that the wedding was taking place in Rivendell. That a huge feast awaited the celebration afterward where everyone would dance, drink, and be merry. 

She could imagine how wonderfully decorated the halls would be, and all the food that would bask their mouthwatering aromas in the air, the dress she would done, and even who her guests might be, but for some reason, she couldn’t place her groom.

* * * * *

“Oh, I needed that!” Fili said to Kili as they made their way down the halls. That bath was just the thing to lighten his spirits. And what a magnificent fountain! Thorin had never mentioned as such to him, but Fili hoped that Erebor had even grander bathing fountains than Rivendell had. With waterfalls, slides and large pools to jump in. It was such a treat from bathing in cold river water.

“We all did,” Kili agreed readily. He combed his fingers through his damp hair and looked around the corridor. He whistled at how many rooms they had down the wing and wondered which one was theirs. They weren’t exactly given any specific room, they were just told that the West wing was for them to use. Perhaps they were to choose their own?

Kili naturally assumed that he and his brother would be sharing, so he hoped to find a room suitable for the both of them. Fili seemed to read his mind, “Do you think the rooms will be big enough for us? Will we be sharing a bed or would we have our own?”

“Well, if anything, we can find rooms that adjoin or we can move the beds in together.”

Fili nodded, happy with that idea. “How about this one?” he pointed to a room with an open door and they peeked inside. It was plenty spacious, the bed was huge, and the view was… quite breathtaking to be sure. They tried not to ogle at how nice this “Elven” room was even though they both were obviously floored. 

“This will do,” sniffed Fili. 

“Aye,” agreed Kili with a curt throat clearing. “I’ll go get our things. And…” he paused and looked around the room for something and when he didn’t find it, made his way out. “Grab us some _actual_ food. Could you believe that rubbish? Our food eats what we were offered! Want to raid the kitchens with me?”

Fili chuckled. “Bofur’s planning something for us later. No, I’ll stay here, I want to finish braiding my mustache and explore.”

Kili shrugged. “Suit yourself. See you later!”

Once Kili was well out of earshot, Fili spun around the room they selected. The room was open to the outside but high up and out of direct sight for privacy. It oversaw a lay of the waterfalls, trees, and gardens. Fili could spot the fountain that they bathed in from here just out of view. The hand carved bed was large enough for three Dwarves to rest comfortably in and there was an Elvish figure that made up the headboard. Upon closer inspection, it looked to be female; a lady who would watch over them as they slept, smiling softly. 

Fili spotted a vanity and got to work on finishing up his mustache braids. His hair, now freshly washed and properly tended to, was as bright as gold and perfectly plaited. It always filled him a sense of family pride to resemble his great-grandfather; who was also a blond in his younger years, according to his mother and Thorin. 

He closed off the ends of his braids with his silver beads and regarded himself a final time in the mirror. He twisted one of the twin braids between his fingers and heard Y/N’s voice in his head, remembering when she pointed at them saying, “Those are my favorite.”

Fili smiled. But then he frowned as he recalled another memory of Y/N calling Kili cute. Even though she had told him she liked his braids, he still wondered if Kili’s stubble ranked first or not. His frown deepened at another thought that penetrated him. 

“Why do I care? This is ridiculous.”

Wanting to get some fresh air and get a lay of the valley they’d be staying in for however long Thorin deemed fit, Fili entered the wing and looked left to right, wondering which way to go. He heard some distinctly female voices wafting up from the distance and decided to venture that way and inquire for some points of interest they could suggest. He recognized a laugh from among the approaching voices and found his feet gravitating towards it.

Fili halts. His feet just refused to take him any further once the women rounded the corner. All of a sudden, sound fell away and everything was moving in slow motion. The only thing that stood out in crystal clear focus was her. Every scrap of detail. Heart pounding in his chest, Fili’s breath was next to stop short the moment Y/N turned passed the juncture in the hallway and he got a good look. Her face was bathed in light, and radiant as she smile. Her hair was down and braided, she was dressed in beautiful silk robes, and she was… she was… 

_My gods, she is beautiful. _

Y/N noticed him looking and she smiled and waved but he couldn’t even bring himself to return the greeting. His head turned watching her depart from him, then his shoulders followed suit. Then his body. Long after she passed him by, Fili remained rooted in place staring after the woman who had struck him down to his core. With stark clarity, Fili knew then that he had fallen in love and that that love was always present, it had just bloomed into focus at this particular moment. Mahal, he was in love with her! But how? How could that be possible?

_Mine._

Even though the when couldn’t be traced to any particular day or event, this shift had occurred little by little. Through their exchange of words and affections, through their friendship and companionship, from her acts of kindness and bravery and his duty to protect her. But it also seemed way too fast and sudden. How could he possible be in love with Y/N? How could he be sure that this was not a mere infatuation with a beautiful woman? 

_Mine._

Thorin’s worries about Fili losing his head over a lass had come too late, it seemed. As Fili continued to stand there in a daze, clutching his breast with his thundering heart beating under his palm, he kept trying to find reason to this madness that held such a physical, strong emotional hold over him. How could he be in love? And when the answer came to him, he wasn’t sure if it was happiness he felt or fear. He was inclined to side with the latter, for it wasn’t like he had a choice in this and it seemed such ill-timed. And with Thorin keeping close watch on him for his earlier liberties, there was no way anyone would understand the trouble Fili was in. What was he supposed to do now? What _could_ he do now?

Mahal's grace. He had found his One. Y/N was...

"Mine..." Fili whispered. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ruh-roh, Fili! :x 
> 
> Seems like Rivendell will be a flurry of activity for a few days. I wonder what other revelations will occur?


	9. Apples To Apples: Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili struggles with his newfound feelings and gains a confidant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big 'ol thanks to Laura again for inspiring me out with her brilliant ideas and for being such a joy to speak with!
> 
> Sooo, I was wondering if it would be preferable to have either more updates and shorter chapters or longer chapters with a bit of a wait time to it. What do you guys think? I am attempting to post more frequently, but sometimes (ahem, all the time) I get carried away with my chapters and write up huge monsters for you to read. I also briefly edit my chapters during and after writing to alleviate as many errors and such as I can. 
> 
> If you all are cool with the longer chapters, then I’ll continue with what I'm doing and aim to post once a week/every other week, but if I shorten the chapters a bit I might be able to up the posts to once a week. Some chapters, depending on the content, might need to be more lengthy than others, but if it's shorter chapters you want, I'll do what I can to shorten them in the future and crank out more daily posting.

“Wow. Well, this is definitely, er, different for me,” Y/N breathed. She bit her lip as her eyes raked over the figure standing in front of her before letting out a giddy laugh.

Twisting this way and that in front of the large mirror in her chambers, Y/N was admiring her new clothing that the Elves were kind enough to gift her. She felt like she was dressed for a Renaissance Fair. They dressed her in a dark forest green long-sleeved velveteen tunic with gold swirly patterns on the trim. The tunic had a short high-collar that parted down to her clavicles and the length ended just over her hips, dipping down into a ruffled point in the front and back just scarcely covering her backside and crotch. A brown underbust corset was strapped on her with gold accents on the eyelets and buckles, and she wore charcoal-colored trousers with matching boots and vambraces.

Her partners in crime’s reflections of Elenaril and Arlynn were smiling proudly from behind her when she met their eyes in the mirror. They had every right to look satisfied at their handiwork. Y/N could now successfully pass for an inhabitant of Middle Earth, she could hardly recognize herself.

“I’ve had your personal clothes washed as well as your borrowed clothing,” Elenaril said, giving Y/N another once over before adjusting some pieces of her hair. “It is packed among your things just over here along with other travel necesseties.”

“Thanks, I appreciate it.”

Elenaril smiled and bowed her head. “I will take my leave now to tend to my other tasks. You look wonderful, _tinu_.”

Y/N locked eyes with her in the mirror and grinned widely. “Thank you. I love the trousers!” They fit her perfectly with room to breathe and ranked second best in comfort to that of her spandex leggings, which were packed safely away. Bless their souls, the trousers even came with pockets. And not pockets like women’s pants from earth, which were only big enough to hold a woman’s hopes and dreams, but actual pockets! _Deep_ pockets! It seemed as though they were made with her leggings in mind.

Y/N was also given four extra changes of clothing in varying colors of virtually the same style as what she was currently wearing. No skirts or dresses, as requested, but the style remained entirely feminine.

After thanking Arlynn for all of her help with the clothing and the hair tips, Y/N ventured out of her room to take in the lay of the valley and find out where her friends had gone to. She hoped to run into Lord Elrond at some point and give him a proper thank you for his generosity, but in the meantime she enjoyed getting lost in this rich, beautiful foreign land. 

The air was filled with birds singing and the rush of water from the waterfalls surrounding the valley. There wasn’t any music or talking that she could hear, but even so, she found the silence a very peaceful sort of quiet. Y/N breathed in the air—so clean and crisp from that of the city—as she took in the sights of the evening sky painting the land with a soft, pink glow.

She wondered if this was what heaven might look like.

Sure, it wasn’t bathed in endless white perfection, but the stark beauty of Rivendell would give any religion’s concept of the afterlife a run for its money. 

After walking aimlessly through the gardens and pathways, Y/N stumbled upon an open balcony that contained a large tree and a sitting area. It overlooked the mountains in the distance and she approached the railing to watch the sunset. She leaned her weight on her arms and sighed at the imagery. It was very romantic. Certainly something the Dwarves would be caught dead gazing at—

“Enjoying the view, my lady?”

Y/N started with a gasp and grabbed her chest and bit back a curse. The Elf didn’t make a single sound and she had no idea how long he was standing there.

“My apologies, I didn’t mean to startle you,” he said. The worried look in his eyes seemed sincere. He looked as though he wanted to come closer, but wasn’t sure of his welcome after scaring the patootie out of the girl.

“It’s okay, I didn’t hear you come up. Lindir, right? I’m Y/N,” she stuck out her hand intending for him to shake. Lindir looked at it and he brought her knuckles up to his lips and released her with a polite smile and a short bow. She flushed slightly, not used to such innocent methods of males greeting females. Or sealing promises.

“Pleasure to meet you, Lady Y/N. May I join you?” 

“Sure.” 

Y/N patted a spot on the railing next to her and returned her sight to the sky as Lindir joined. He stood beside her tall and elegant, with his hands clasped behind his back. While they shared a quiet moment, she glanced up at him and saw a tight expression on Lindir’s handsome face. It was an odd change of pace for her to see an Elf up close after dreaming (and traveling with) mainly Dwarves for days on end. The two were so starkly different in so many ways. Dwarves were short, muscular, and had an abundance of hair on both their heads and faces—and presumably everywhere else. 

Elves were tall, beardless, and distinguished with the sort of perfect beauty that the Roman sculptors would just die to carve into stone. If both races were a force of nature, Elves would be a gentle breeze and Dwarves would be a hurricane. Kind of made Y/N wonder what that made her in their eyes. _A b__urden we could do without_, came a baritone voice from her memory. Unable to help the pity party from gathering, Y/N frowned and evaluated their situation. Her direct involvement excluded, she wasn’t making any changes to their journey. Whatever task that ominous voice had given her seemed all for naught. Maybe she failed and that was why it didn’t return. She was happy not having another vision, but she’d be lying if she wasn’t still a bit scared, too. What was Y/N to them? Why was she even here?

Not wanting to be caught staring at him while deep in thought, Y/N quickly averted her gaze and focused on a flock of small, round, colorful birds perched on a tree directly in front of her. They seemed utterly unaffected by her sullen mood as they sang their evening tunes with chipper enthusiasm. Shame it wasn’t infectious. 

“Your home is so beautiful. I still can’t get over how peaceful it is here,” she said in an attempt to break the ice. 

Lindir made an affirmative sound.

“This is my favorite spot, I like to come here to visit with my birds and release the tension in my mind. Your traveling companions have... proven to be quite the taxing guests for us,” he responded bitterly. Y/N bit her lip to hold in the laugh at how done Lindir looked at dinner during the food fight. He looked as though he wanted to be literally anywhere else but there and narrowly missed getting buns and potatoes thrown at him. A few snorts came out anyway.

“I’m so sorry about what happened at dinner,” she said with a giggle, not knowing why she felt the need to apologize. It’s not like she had joined in or could have done anything to stop it from happening. But she was still associated with them. 

“No need to apologize. You were not exactly spared as an innocent bystander.”

Lindir briefly closed his eyes and placed his hands upon the railing. Although he was still frustrated, his movement remained fluid, graceful, and controlled. The birds recognized his presence and one of them flew over and landed on his extended finger. He smiled down at it, stroking the feathers on its tiny head before sending it off back to its family on the branches.

“I know they can be a lot to handle, but they’re really not that bad once you get to know them!” Y/N added, somehow wanting to defend her friends even though what they did was pretty disrespectful. And how she was attacked with a variety of vegetables…   
The same bewildered look he had on during dinner was present now as he turned to her. For someone so distinguished and poised, she was surprised at his borderline child-like tone.

“They bathed in our sacred fountain! I’m afraid I have no inclination nor desire of getting to know them beyond the atrocity that I’ve witnessed this day,” he said with a shudder. 

“An eyeful of naked Dwarf isn’t your thing, huh?” she laughed, vaguely remembering that particular part of her dream. Lindir quirked an eyebrow at her but his displeasure had melted into a small smile.

“I much prefer your company to theirs, despite your curious affinity for them.” He paused in thought and added, “How did you come by this band of Dwarves and Hobbit, if I may ask?”

“I am eager to know that as well!” 

Lindir whirled around in shock and then immediately bowed, “My Lord Elrond.”

Y/N wasn’t sure if she should greet him in the same fashion, but bowed her head anyway just to be polite. Lindir had returned to his upright, hands behind back position as if he were anticipating commands while Elrond approached closer to meet them at the railing.

Elrond nodded to Lindir in acknowledgment and then smiled at Y/N after surveying her attire with a hum of approval. 

“I hope these clothes are more to your liking?” he probed. “They suit you well.”

Y/N nodded fervently. “Yes, thank you! Really, thank you so much, I don’t even know how to begin to repay you.”

Pleased with her response, Elrond turned his focus to the sky to join the duo in their sky watching, which was now more gold in color than the pink it was shortly before. He continued to address her even though his sight remained in front of him. Lindir, now more relaxed, followed suit. 

“No need to repay me, Lady Y/N, they’re my gift to you.” 

After a momentary pause, Y/N could sense the next question as she as if she could read his mind. “How came you, and a humble little Hobbit, by a company of Dwarves?”

“Well…”

Y/N rubbed the back of her neck, wondering how much she should tell him. He seemed like a trustworthy person, from what she remembered dreaming about, and meeting him in person has done little to change her general opinion. But wouldn’t Gandalf be a better person to speak to about this? Should she wait for him? What would Thorin think if she said anything, or disapproved of what she divulged?

Elrond looked at her expectantly from the corner of his eye and Y/N thought that maybe he already knew. Or at the very least maybe he would know how to get her back home! Without giving too much away, she kept her explanation simple. It was hard to read his expression as she explained how she arrived on Bilbo’s front lawn, per the Dwarves’ explanation from the first night. Elrond nodded thoughtfully and didn’t interrupt her at all. Lindir, however, gazed at her between a cross of awe and wonder. 

When she was finished, Lord Elrond hummed. “So, you came to Middle Earth from a land beyond the stars with no memory of how it was done?”

“Yeah, that about sums it up. What’s weird is that I can’t even remember what I was doing that day, before I got here. Whenever I think too hard on it, I get this massive headache.” 

She left out the part about her having runes in her arms, the visions, and the recurring dreams she’s had about her friends. She wanted Gandalf, or Thorin at the very least, to be present when or if she had to give away those details. 

“Hmm, interesting. Well, that would explain your very odd footwear.”

To avoid that uncomfortable stare he was giving her as if he were trying to read her mind, Y/N nervously tucked her hair behind her ears and threw on a smile. “Does this type of thing happen often?” she asked. “Are there others like me here?”  
Elrond shook his head. 

“Not to my knowledge. Although, I would be curious to see if she would like to speak with you, now that you’re here.”

“She?” Y/N ventured when Elrond didn’t elaborate. He merely smiled mischievously but his lips were sealed. Lindir looked between the two of them curiously and Elrond seemed to make up his mind about something, but kept it all to himself. 

“Tell me about the land you’re from. What is it called?”

Y/N blinked. She didn’t appreciate her question being diverted, but then again, she was also keeping additional thoughts and details close to the chest. “Florida. The land of year-round summer, old people, and bad drivers.”

When both Elves quirked an eyebrow at her, she knew she had some explaining to do and did her best to describe everything of note about where she was from.

Gandalf had joined them just before it got dark, when Y/N was wrapping up on describing another cultural necessity that her people couldn't do without: smartphones and all their capabilities. It was a concept that she struggled to explain and they didn't seem able to wrap their heads around the gadget without asking questions about it that only served to question her own knowledge about the damn thing. The trio welcomed Gandalf's entrance as the breath of fresh air that they needed.

“Ah, there you are. I wondered where our dear Y/N had wandered off to,” Gandalf said. He and Elrond regarded each other like the old friends they were. “I trust the break from our raucous traveling companions has served you well?”

Y/N looked between Elrond and Gandalf before realizing he was addressing her. “Oh! Yeah, I was just admiring the view. These guys were nice enough to keep me company.” She gestured to Lindir and Elrond.

Elrond added with a quirky smile, “She certainly has an interesting way with words. And her stories are most interesting to be sure, I look forward to hearing more. Gandalf, would you join me for a stroll?”

“Of course,” he replied cordially as if he expected that. But Y/N knew what was up. They had some words to share. Some about the Dwarves and some about her, and she wasn’t allowed to hear about it. Whatever.

Before Elrond took his leave he placed a hand on Y/N’s shoulder and smiled. “I hope to speak with you again soon, there is much I wish to learn.”

After they departed, Y/N was curious why Lindir stayed behind with her. She was used to seeing him glued to Elrond’s side, but—just as she assumed—the conversation he and Gandalf were having was likely off limits to anyone who wasn’t them and Lindir probably already knew what they were going to be talking about. Y/N regarded the Elf who seemed equally unsure of what to do next.

From spending so much time with Elrond and Lindir, Y/N began to miss her companions and wondered what they were up to. Hoping they weren’t defacing anything else. As if he read her mind, Lindir said, “Would you like to find your friends? I’m finding the quiet more unsettling than comforting at present.”

* * *

Fili didn’t know how he wound up back in his room. At some point he must have turned around and went back, walked through the door, sat himself on the edge of the open window and stared out into the sky until it changed colors from gold to pink to navy blue right before his eyes. The change was so subtle and slow that when he finally realized that night had crept up on him he was shocked that something that was literally right in front of him had altered so drastically and that he somehow missed it. Huh. Sounded familiar.

When his stomach started growling over an hour ago, he knew he should get up and eat something. But he still had a lot to consider and think about so he knew how to move forward before he could indulge in such trivial things such as “eating”. Besides, the thought that really kept him from joining the Company was the fear that they would know what happened just by looking at him and he wasn't fully composed yet.

Fili sighed when he heard footsteps approaching from down the hall. He could tell who it was based on the familiar way they clumped down the hall. And it was the one person whom he knew he couldn’t hide this from. 

“You’re still here? I thought you went exploring.” Kili sounded faintly surprised and Fili took a breath and twisted his sitting body around to acknowledge him and get it over with. But Kili wasn’t focused on his brother, he was busy rummaging through his pack on the bed, his brows furrowed in determination. 

“I got distracted,” came the careful answer as he eyed him. 

“Mm. Where in the world did I put my pipe?” Kili replied distractedly. His diligent search was soon rewarded when he found what he was searching for and he put it off to the side and dug his hand back inside his pack to search for something else he needed. Fili already knew what it was. 

“I have some pipe weed in the side pocket of mine,” Fili offered, canting his head towards his own pack even though Kili wasn’t looking. 

“Brilliant!” Kili exclaimed, holding the small bag up once he found it. He started getting to work on filling his pipe up, but made no attempt to light it yet. Kili always preferred to enjoy his pipe after he ate. “Bofur and the lads put together a cook out for us. He’s roasting sausages! You should come join us.”

Fili eyed Kili’s pipe and felt a rising urge to smoke so as to calm his nerves. The revelation was still fresh for him even though he had only discovered Y/N was his One hours ago. He wasn’t sure he could face the others yet without giving anything away, especially if Thorin was there.

“Could you hand me my pipe, Kee? Other side pocket.”

“Sure,” Kili tossed it over along with the bag of pipe weed and finally took a good look at his brother. Fili had already turned back around and faced the open window. There was an igniting sound followed by the soft glow of the small flame Fili lit. He took a couple drags but made no move to get up. Kili was quietly observing him before walking over. 

“Are you not feeling well?” he asked as he sat down beside him. 

Fili hesitated but assured him he was fine. But the pause was long enough for Kili to know something was up, that and the way he said it. 

“Did Thorin say something to you while I was gone?” Kili didn’t bother hiding the strain from his voice. He seemed to anticipate Fili’s off moods being directly tied to Thorin. And though that has been the case lately, he wished he wouldn’t automatically think that.

Fili exhaled a strong line of smoke. “No, why do you always think that whenever I need a moment to myself it has something to do with him?”

“Well, if it’s not Thorin then it has to be Y/N.” Fili dropped his eyes and Kili’s eyebrows rose. “Ah, so it is her. What happened this time?”

Fili’s brow creased and he took a deep drag, wondering how much to tell him. On impulse, he wanted to tell Kili everything. They weren’t ones for keeping secrets from each other and he thought he might actually feel better taking such a heavy load off his chest. But gods… where to start? 

As Fili struggled with words he wanted to elaborate on, all that came out was, “Well… uh, you see… I…” and blushing. Kili angled his head in his line of sight, surveying Fili’s bashful expression closely. His eyes widened and a smirk began to grow. 

“Go on,” he encouraged smugly, as if he already knew. 

Fili shoved him away and felt at ease by the comfort of Kili’s infectious smile. “You really want me to say it, don’t you? That I’ve a deep fondness for Y/N?”

“So you _do _fancy her!” Kili exclaimed, as if the idea came as a great shock to him. 

Fili huffed out a genuine laugh as Kili jostled him into a brotherly hug muttering a string of I-knew-its before letting him out of his hold.

“You knew before I did, this whole thing is basically your idea,” Fili teased.

Kili bumped him with his shoulder and smiled in good cheer. But Fili couldn’t keep up the playfulness any longer, however. It was more serious than that and his deep feelings were well beyond a mere fancy.

“It all makes sense! I knew you were sweet on Y/N beyond ‘watching over her’. And the flirting… now you cannot deny it! I know flirting when I hear it and you two were definitely flirting like a pair of…” 

As Kili rattled off, Fili took a breath before dropping the next bomb. Knowing that as soon as he said the words out loud that it might just very well put in motion what could not come undone. As if, by speaking the declaration aloud, it made it more real somehow. He’d have chosen to keep the secret to himself, but he yearned for someone he trusted to confide in. And he knew he could always trust his brother. He took another deep breath and exhaled slowly.

“Kee… it’s more than that. She’s my One.” 

Kili’s head snapped in his direction. Now he genuinely was surprised. Fili faced the window once more. 

They were both quiet for a moment, sitting side by side, as Kili absorbed this heavy topic. Fili felt a pair of brown eyes burning into him through his peripherals. But he kept looking ahead even though the silence was killing him. Ironically, that’s all he could really do in this situation. 

“Are you certain of this?” Kili asked eventually. 

Fili picked at a piece of debris on his coat until the fuzz wiggled free. He flicked it over the ledge into the broad expanse and wondered if his feelings could be as easily concealed in the darkness. “There was a story father told me when he first met Amad, do you remember me or Amad sharing it with you?” 

Kili nodded slowly, all dwarrows are told of that "moment", already knowing where he was going with this. “Aye.”

“It was just like that. Powerful, disorienting, all-consuming. It felt like…” Fili tried to use his free hand to gesticulate his thoughts in a way that Kili would comprehend the very primal, possessive emotion that overcame him without it sounding like a load of fiddle faddle nonsense. Kili looked on patiently, nodding with rapt interest trying to understand. 

“An urge? A pull?” he offered. Fili bit his lip and frowned in thought, shaking his head to let Kili know that wasn’t quite it. 

“It felt like she was mine. But in the deepest way possible. I know without a doubt in my mind that she is who I’m meant to be with.”

Yes, Fili had been told throughout the years that, for some dwarrows and dwarrowdams, they might come across that special someone that Mahal made especially for them. The anvil to their hammer. The other half of their soul; the person they were meant to spend the rest of their lives with. Not all Dwarves were predestined to find that special someone, but all Dwarves were born and promised to their own One. As rare as they are to be found, it’s even rarer still that a dwarrow’s One was crafted in another race due to every race having such a profound gap in life expectancy. Fili remembered meeting a dam in the Blue Mountains who fell in love with a Hobbit, so he knew such odd pairings existed. But never had there have been cases for humans to tangle themselves with Dwarves, and there was certainly never Elven couplings. 

Of course, Fili was not averse to the notion that Dwarves might become curious to other races and indulge in some "urges", as it were. However, when it came to the business concerning Ones, their Makers tended to be much more forgiving and considerate for the destined pair, usually ensuring they were they same race. And that was precisely what gave Fili the most pause. 

How could they ever be together? Y/N was a human and Fili was a Dwarf who hadn’t even turned ninety yet.

The thought of Y/N not being alive one-hundred years from now, when Fili was supposed to be in his prime, had made him sick to his stomach and his heart ache. As did the thought of her possibly returning to her own world long before that, going somewhere far, far away from him. In a land he could never follow. 

“I always thought it happened instantaneously, at first sight. Why do you think you just realized it now?” Kili questioned. 

“To be honest, I’ve been taken with her since the night she first came here. I didn’t understand what it was at first... I knew I found her attractive, but I had no idea it was anything deeper than that. But the moment I saw her today with her hair down, dressed in that ivory robing, her beauty overthrew me and I realized then that I’ve fallen in love with her. I kept thinking, 'She's mine.' I am thankful I didn’t crumble to my knees like father did since there were Elves present during this monumental discovery.”

Fili blushed just at the thought. She was radiant. He could still picture Y/N so vividly in his mind’s eye. Her hair was stunning and he wondered how she might look wearing his braids in her hair. Oh, he would do practically anything to be granted that honor! 

Kili said with a giggle, “My, my. I wonder what Amad would say when she learns that her darling little Fili found his One on the journey to our mountain.” 

A worried expression crossed over Fili’s features, darkening the glow of adoration that was once there. He'd no idea what their mother would say, but he feared more for someone else. 

“What am I going to do, Kili? If Thorin finds out about this, he’ll put a stop to it somehow. He might take her away from me!”

Kili’s smile fell. Their uncle would prove to be a very difficult obstacle, indeed. When Kili told his brother to be of care with Y/N, he had no idea what would unfold so soon after. One thing was for sure, though: Kili would help him however he could. Fili would have done the same for him if he were to fall in love with someone after all. Thank Mahal Y/N wasn’t an Elf… they’d surely be doomed then! But since she was human, they just might stand a chance.

“You’re right, he would.” When Fili grimaced, he placed a hand on his shoulder. “But maybe he would understand if you just told him?” 

Fili’s shrugged before his shoulders slumped and then he kicked himself back to lay there on the tile, staring up at the ceiling. “What a mess…” he sighed. 

Kili smirked at him before joining Fili on the floor so that they laid side by side. He cushioned his head on his arms and looked at his troubled brother from the side. He started thinking about it; how well the two of them interacted and got along. How, even though they weren’t the same race, they seemed to fit. Kili was quite jealous. Naturally, the first person to have ever thought him attractive was his _brother’s_ One and not his. Such rotten luck. Fili, however…

“All things considered, you’re a very lucky dwarrow.”

Fili scowled and looked over at him, balancing his pipe so that the lit bowl didn't spill over, “Lucky? How am I in any way lucky?”

“Is it not obvious? Your lass came from another land. And if she truly does carry upon her the markings of our people, then it is only fair to assume that Mahal himself had plucked her from her world and placed your love at your feet. It is a good omen.” 

Fili hadn’t thought of it that way. He’d almost forgotten how she came to be here or that Y/N had runes etched into her skin somehow. A smile began to grow on his face the more he marinated on Kili’s words and a foolish hope filled his chest. But he had to tread carefully. There were a lot of reasons that he had to keep his feelings a secret. 

“No one can know about this, Kili.”

Kili looked over to him. “You’re not telling Thorin?” 

“I cannot. This quest is everything to him! You saw how he reacted just under the pretense that I was flirting. I don’t even want to fathom how he’d respond learning she was my One. He likely wouldn’t believe me, or try to convince me that I'm mistaken, and this is still so new.”

“It is also quite the secret to keep from him, Fee. You’ll have to tell him at some point. I understand why you told me, and I promise you I won’t tell a soul, but… it would be better for you to tell him than for him to find out.”

“I know. I just… I need time to sort everything out. I'll be careful.”

Kili sighed, wanting to assure him that Thorin would understand if he just told him about it, but he couldn’t say such things when he wasn’t even sure of it himself. But he understood the need for Fili to pull up his guard. They knew their uncle. And there was no telling how Thorin would respond to this news considering the scolding he gave Fili not too long ago just for kissing her hand in jest. But there was someone else with whom they’d be keeping this secret from, wasn’t there? A very important someone.

“Not even Y/N?” he asked. 

The following words felt like iron in Fili’s stomach. “Not even Y/N.”

Another pesky thing about this whole One business was that although it was possible to find your One, it did not necessarily mean that your One would return your feelings or agree to be yours. In order to protect himself, and Y/N, from his revelation, he had made the painful decision to love her from afar. At least until the quest was over. At least until he had some sort of plan.

Kili grabbed his brother’s hand in support. He wanted to offer him his help, but he wasn’t sure how. Kili had some brainstorming to do before he discussed this any further with him, so for now, Fili could do with some cheering up. He gave his hand a tug and got to his feet. 

“Come on, let’s go eat some actual food.”

* * *

Y/N timidly entered the area where the Dwarves set up camp; she tried to appear confident and nonchalant about her new attire since she didn’t know what type of response she’d receive. Personally, Y/N happened to like how she looked in her new clothes, but somehow she yearned for the Dwarves’ approval. No doubt they would have words to say about it since anything remotely involving Elves was so “yuck!” to them. 

Oh, the aroma was mouthwatering! Even if Lindir hadn’t assisted in helping her find them, all she had to do was follow her nose. The scent of meat cooking hung thick in the air and though she enjoyed the earlier vegetarian meal, her stomach roared at the smell of roast. And if their cooking didn’t do the trick in pinpointing their whereabouts, their rowdy, raucous lollygagging was a homing beacon all its own. 

They were having a grand old time making home just where they were, with what they had, and who they were with. It struck her then that this type of life was all many of them had known for quite some time. It was a little thought, but it struck her strongly just the same. She had to help them get back home. No matter the cost. If anything, maybe they could help her get back to hers, too. 

As everyone was all engaged with their own business and conversation, Y/N managed to slip in undetected. It wasn’t until Bofur turned around to snag another sausage on the large fork that he caught sight of her. He did a double take, mistaking her for an Elf at first glance and then gave a whistle and a thorough once over that had her face heating up.

“By Durin… if I didn’t know any better, I’d say an exceptionally fair maid had graced us with her presence!” 

That comment drew in more attention than Y/N would have wanted—one by one her Dwarven friends stopped what they were doing and gave her a good long look. She blushed and fiddled with the ends of her freshly washed hair and smoothed imaginary wrinkles in the woven fabric. Y/N kept her eyes down, pointedly avoiding meeting anyone’s gaze as they openly ogled at her new attire and murmured to themselves. 

“Well, at least now I’ll fit in more,” she shrugged, trying to appear casual. 

“Ya look like a She-Elf,” said Dwalin, sparing no ounce of mild disgust as he said it. “Why didn’t they give ya skirts?”

Now it was Y/N who looked repulsed, “I don’t do skirts or dresses. Besides, pants are more practical for the amount of traveling we’ll be doing. And these bad boys have _pockets_!” She shoved her hands in excitedly to demonstrate how deep they were. 

Dwalin snorted and returned to his food, “Fair enough.”

Y/N's grin fell into a frown when the others continued to stare at her with mixed reactions of approval, indifference, or disapproval. She lifted her arms and reviewed the garments she had on, thinking it couldn’t possibly look that bad. “Okay, be honest: do I really look that awful?”

“You look lovely!” Kili chimed in from behind her. He gave her a sheepish smile before returning to his pipe, trying to sneak glances when she wasn’t looking. Y/N, having noted Kili sitting by himself, casually looked around their little encampment wondering where the missing Fili, Thorin, and Bilbo ran off to. Everyone else seemed to be present.

“You do!” Ori concurred brightly. He worried his lip when she smiled at him before ducking back behind the book he was writing in. 

Dwalin huffed indignantly, “She’s too shapely for Elven wear! The lass would look much better in some right Dwarven leathers and furs.”

A grunt of agreements rounded through as they all gradually returned their attentions on what they were doing before she walked in.

“Oh, yes!” Dori added, “A good shoulder piece, I think. More bold patterns on the trim. Bedecked with fine jewelry.” He pointed to his shoulders to demonstrate how it would lay and how big it should be.

“Och, but not with those wee limbs of hers! Too dainty,” Nori argued with a wave of his hand. 

"At least her hair looks decent!" Gloin commented. 

Y/N rolled her eyes and contemplated leaving, but the smell of meat was much too tempting to back away from. Bofur seemed to sense her reticence. 

“Oi, come sit!” he invited with a laugh, patting a spot between him and Bifur by the fire. She reluctantly obliged as the Dwarves continued on with the superiority of Dwarven attire to that of Elven and how they would have dressed her if they had the materials before the conversation shifted to other topics, much to Y/N’s delight. She didn’t like being the center of attention and was happy to get the initial shock of being dressed differently out of the way. 

Y/N gave another look around their secluded corner, noting a few members of their group still missing. “Where’s Fili?” she asked Bofur. He resumed stoking the fire they made and readied a large plate of meat to be cooked. Y/N caught sight that the fire’s kindling was their host's furniture. She paled, hoping it all went unnoticed and baffled by the Dwarves’ audacity to do such a thing at all. 

“Not sure. Said he'd be right back, prob'ly got lost. Want a sausage?” he asked with a twinkle in his eye. He didn’t need to wave it enticingly in front of her, she would have accepted it anyway. She didn’t realize just how hungry she was from having three bowls of salad and how unsatisfying it was to ones appetite after walking for god knows how many miles. 

“Yeah, I’m starved.”

She hoped to see Fili soon, but didn’t want to press the subject. Bofur, nor anybody else, seemed to be concerned, so she decided not to be either. But even though eating fulfilling food had taken up her attention, the absence of a certain golden-haired Dwarf had still been a prominent presence for Y/N. 

* * * * *

“All right, I know I passed that column,” Fili uttered to himself as he circled around the expanse of one of Rivendell’s gardens. He meant to go relieve himself and head straight back to the camp they made on one of the lower balconies but when he passed the garden, he saw an apple tree in full bloom. The tree towered high to the ceiling, and generous in its bounty—bearing ripe, crisp red apples on its branches. The distraction had only served to lose his way back to camp and so he stood there deliberating over the juicy fruit hanging above him.

He had a mind to snag one for Y/N since she had mentioned how badly she was craving one but then fought against the urge. What if the gesture was taken the wrong way? What if someone else blew the act of kindness out of proportion? Fili didn't wish to invite any poking around in his every move. No doubt his motives would be aired in the open... no, he had to keep his feelings to himself. It was the only way to ensure her safety and allow him to remain close to her. Fili began to turn away, his eyes locking on a particularly ripe apple and he paused. Well… maybe he could snag a bushel of them, hand Y/N the best one, and distribute the rest to the Company. That way, he could provide Y/N something she had been wanting under the pretense that he was doing a service to the rest of the group!

Satisfied with the layout of that plan, Fili started picking apples before realizing he didn’t have anything to store them in. 

“Would you like a basket?” A voice sounded from behind him. Fili swirled around with a yelp, somehow managing to catch a fallen apple by kicking his boot up to pop it back in place. 

A She-Elf stood there smiling kindly at him with a basket in hand as if she had been watching him. It was the one playing the flute earlier at dinner. 

“Aye, thank you.” After accepting the basket and filling it up, he realized that—technically—he wasn’t granted permission to pick these apples and had forgotten his manners. “Forgive me, I should have asked…” He indicated his chin to the tree. 

She smiled. “We have plenty and you are our guests. You are more than welcome to have as many as you like.” She paused. “We have more fruits in the kitchens that we have harvested. Our peaches are in season.”

“I don’t know if she likes peaches…” Fili murmured under his breath, his brow creasing in thought. The Elf cracked an amused grin, understanding the situation a little more.

“If it is suitable desserts you're looking for, might I suggest something more sweet?”

“Sweeter than peaches?” Fili questioned. 

With a laugh as gentle as a spring breeze, the Elf turned and beckoned for him to come. “Follow me.”

* * *

Kili remained seated on the bench he and Fili claimed. He mulled over some thoughts while smoking his pipe after his hearty meal and waited for him to return. Where had he gone to? What was taking him so long? As he puffed on his pipe, he hoped that Fili didn't get struck down by a bunch of nerves and retreat back to their room again. But Fili seemed to be in better spirits after their talk, even though he was resigned to the notion that he couldn't freely express his love to Y/N. He was right on it not being the best time.

He wondered what Y/N thought of his brother, and if she could ever love him the same way. His eyes shot over to the girl in question who was clapping and laughing along to one of their drinking songs being sung by the lads and thought Fili was missing out. If he thought she was pretty in an ivory robe, wait until he got a look at her in _ this _ garb! Since she was wearing trousers, her legs were acutely accented with the fabric hugging onto every curve; the Elves had generously given her very form-fitting attire that were a huge upgrade to the hand-me-downs she had been using.

Kili admired her hair and hoped she would wear it down more often. It was much lovelier than in that... ponytail, was it? That she had used as a go-to style. It wouldn't be the first or last time Kili lamented how lucky Fili was. He'd never personally been attracted to dwarrowdams... creamy skin, long legs, and little to no facial hair was what Kili liked. He didn’t know Fili’s preference, but now he had a hunch that she had to be a traveler from far away… make an impactful entrance… and just so happened to have the name “Y/N” as a prerequisite. But gods, after learning that Y/N found him cute, Kili was certain he finally had a chance with someone close to his type, but alas. Yet despite being disheartened in his own hopeless romantic endeavors, Kili's mind was reeling with ideas on how to assist Fili in his own.

After Bofur was done singing his tune and ended with a deep bow (complete with complimentary food flinging), the lad regarded Y/N for a moment. “Why don’t you sing for us, lass? I’d like to hear some songs from that land of yers.”

“Me? Oh no,” she waved her hands and laughed the thought away. “I’m far too sober to damage your hearing for that.”

Bofur exchanged looks with the others as they all silently agreed on an idea. 

“Oh?” Bofur smirked wickedly before shoving a goblet in her face. "Try this, lass. Should do the trick."

“What is it…” she eyed the goblet suspiciously and reluctantly accepted the beverage. She gave the contents a sniff and seemed to approve of the aroma it had.

“It’s not ale, yeh made it abundantly clear how much you dislike the stuff. This is Elven wine, should suit your palate just fine!” Bofur grinned then muttered under his breath loud enough for all to hear, “Someone might as well drink that poncy rubbish.”

Y/N’s eyes returned to the red liquid Bofur poured for her and considered the request. Kili silently urged her not to drink it. The effects it would ultimately have on her would be— 

She gave a shrug, “Eh, why the hell not. When in Rome!” And lifted her cup in the air. The lads all joined her with an approving cheer and raised their own mugs before they chugged their drinks down.

“That’s the spirit!” Bofur praised, taking his seat beside her. 

"Come on Fili!" Kili whispered under his breath, wondering what the hell was taking him so long. "Get back here before she drinks herself into a stupor!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure how many of you Lindir fans there out there, but I love his character! Had to give him some more lovin’ in this chapter. And what’s Kili so worried about? It’s only Elven wine! What could possibly happen? ;D


	10. Apples To Apples: Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 2 at Rivendell (with day 1 kinda bleeding in at the start) commences!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s a link to the theme song for the Galavant show in case you’ve never heard it! I really, really loved this show and it’s so underrated--cough--like Fili--cough. If I ever were asked to sing to those Dwarves, I think this would be one of the most fitting songs I could sing that they would appreciate lol. 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWnDwM0RSX4
> 
> The general consensus was that you guys wanted longer chapters even if there was a bit of a wait for them. Welp! This chapter is a lot longer than I intended, so enjoy! :D I personally like longer chapters so that I can include more details throughout the storyline without rushing it, so I’m happy that all of you preferred the longer chapters! Please excuse any mistakes in grammar and such.

Towards the top of the Dwarves’ encampment, a serious discussion was being had.

“Have you forgotten a strain of madness runs deep in that family? His grandfather lost his mind, his father succumbed to the same sickness! Can you swear Thorin Oakenshield will not also fall?” Elrond asked Gandalf. 

The Elf’s concerned voice had carried up the stairway loud enough for anyone lingering on the platform to hear, but not loud enough to extend beyond that point. Specifically, towards the Company who was just down below and caught up in their own world, anyway. Thorin, who happened to be on the “lingering on the platform” spectrum, had heard enough, however. 

It was bad enough for him to bear witness to the slight against family he would never see again—_that_ he could endure—but he couldn’t tolerate being looked down upon with any pity from the halfling who happened to be an unfortunate attendee to the sagely banter between Gandalf and Lord Elrond; Thorin had run into the lad on his way up to bed when he caught the gist of the conversation being had, and morbid curiosity had paused him in his step. He should have kept going until he reached his room. There was nothing like having your ugly family “curse” amplified in the eyes of third parties who weren’t certain if you had the strength to overcome it. Such matters served to get under Thorin’s skin with a vicious need to prove them wrong. 

Gandalf didn’t appear to be arguing for his case rather than insisting on how much they would need Thorin after he fulfilled his birthright as a valuable ally. This wasn’t very reassuring, considering he had no idea why that matter was being pushed. Not that Thorin cared what the wizard thought. Then again maybe he did. Or maybe he just wanted someone who believed in him. 

Everyone seemed to hold such little faith in his capabilities, even his own kin. Thorin didn’t know why the Dwarves of the Iron Hills had refused to join his quest whereas twelve, just twelve, of his Company accepted his call. Though they were not what he would have hoped for, he would not trade their loyalty for any other. Gandalf’s voice reached his ears next and he felt a somber resignation swirl within him. Even in the presence of the Hobbit, and his men just several feet away, Thorin felt alone.

"With or without our help, his Dwarves will march on the mountain, they're determined to reclaim their homeland. I do not believe Thorin Oakenshield feels that he's answerable to anyone.” 

Trying to ignore everything else being said against him, Thorin thought back to the small few who mattered: the small few who actually did have faith in him, even if they had yet to say so to him directly. 

By his beard, even Y/N, a total stranger to this world, had told him that he would make a wonderful king. At the time, he thought it was an attempt to needlessly flatter him to gain his favor. The words still stuck regardless of her true intentions of saying them. Then again, Y/N may have been a stranger to this land, but she was not a stranger to him or his Company. Could it be that she foresaw his future and was trying to subliminally reassure him of impending success without providing too much detail that would otherwise spoil it? She was so full of secrets, that one. But Thorin pondered on something else Y/N told him that night. And now he couldn’t stop thinking that maybe… just maybe... 

_ "Maybe it's better to trust people than to doubt them, they just might surprise you.” _

“Thorin?”

Thorin snapped his head up. By the sound of it, this was not the first time Bilbo had called his name. The Hobbit smiled softly and gave him a look of understanding. Thorin fought back the twist of embarrassment that Bilbo had to hear all those things about him and his family when they weren’t very close. He should just excuse himself and make his way up the stairs as he intended to before he began this infantile eavesdropping.

“Yes?” he asked instead, yearning for the solace a warm bed would bring him. 

Bilbo wrinkled his nose and shuffled his stance as he gathered his words. “I was just… what they said—” He bashfully avoided Thorin’s narrowing stare the moment their eyes met but his voice remained strong. “I don’t think you should pay them any mind. About what they said. Besides, if Gandalf didn’t believe in this quest, then he wouldn’t have pushed for it. And he wouldn’t be offering his aid to you if this were a lost cause. What I’m trying to say is, there is hope.”

Thorin’s answering smile to the Hobbit’s attempt at consoling him was small and short-lived. But he did appreciate the intent even if his pride forbade him to accept it. 

Clearly, the little creature had no idea of the sickness that dwelled in his royal bloodline or that Thorin was very much worried about being susceptible to it. He witnessed firsthand what it did to his grandfather, and the ruin that ultimately led to their fallen kingdom as a result of that greed. And with his father missing… hope was all he had left to keep himself marching forward. 

“I am finding myself very fatigued from the events of today and need to depart to my room. Enjoy the rest of your night, Master Burglar.” 

Bilbo’s eyes dropped and he cleared his throat nervously, looking at his furry feet. 

“O-oh, of course. Goodnight, then.”

With every step up the stairs Thorin felt a heaviness upon his shoulders that seemed to weigh more and more each day. He might very well fall into the earth itself if it didn’t let up soon. As his thoughts drifted over to the girl again, he wanted to have faith that their Seer held the key to their success. But there was so much left unknown and he was worried about trusting someone outside of his race for something so important and secret. He thought of the talk they had, where she said that she wanted to get to know each other better. Yes, he thought. That is a wise idea that he should have taken better advantage of.

And he fully intended to demand answers he felt he was due while he was at it.

* * *

Down below around the other side of the platform where Bilbo and Thorin were on, Fili knew he was going the right way to camp when uproarious laughter met his ears. He felt his heart skip a beat when he heard Y/N’s higher octave giggles among the more masculine guffaws, and an unmistakable drinking song being led by Nori and Bofur with the others chiming in merrily. Y/N wasn’t there when Kili and he first arrived, but Fili hoped to see her by the time he made his way back from the kitchens and was anxious for the right opportunity to give her the— 

“Come, lass. Surely you feel more relaxed now!” He heard Bofur’s voice suggest mischievously. Well… that didn’t sound good. 

As Fili drew near, the song had concluded and his eyes searched for where Y/N was sitting and came to notice how closely Bofur’s body was angled to hers. He fought against the urge to kick Bofur away and bit down on the venom he had in his voice. 

“What’s going on in here?” Fili asked, rushing in and looking between Y/N and the pleased as punch Bofur. He quickly set the apples down and stood above the two of them with his hands on his hips, taking care of the special treat he was keeping in his coat. 

“The lass is drunk off Elven wine after only one and a half goblet fulls! Just look at that red face!” Bofur rolled back in a laugh as the others joined in. 

“I am not!” Y/N protested with a whine. “I’m tipsy, there’s a difference! Fili, don’t you believe a word of what that mook says,” she as pointed to Bofur.

Relieved that nothing more serious was going on, Fili squatted down to meet her eyes, noting the tell-tale signs of intoxication by the redness of her nose and cheeks and unfocused eyes just as Bofur described. “How many goblets have you had?”

“Hey, I know how to numbers, okay? Nobody can get drunk off of one goblet of wine.” She stated as if that justified everything. 

He smirked and snagged her cup and sniffed it. 

“Normal wine, maybe, but this?” Fili wiggled the emptied goblet at her. “This is Elven wine. The potency is quite strong, and if you had two—”

“One! And... maybe a half.”

“One or ‘maybe a half’, odds are you’re far gone by now, lass.”

Y/N scoffed and waved him away with a sway in her balance. He kept the goblet in hand with intentions to hide it from her. Judging by her rosy cheeks and half-lidded eyes, she was very far gone, indeed. 

“_Why would you let her drink this? _” he scolded the room in Khuzdul so she couldn’t butt in. 

“_Oh, relax, _ ” Bofur replied, righting himself up. “_We all could use a bit of fun! We aren’t leaving for another two days, anyway. What’s the harm? _”

This was true, but Fili still didn’t like the idea of Y/N being drunk in a room full of males especially without knowing what type of drunk she was. Was she a sleepy drunk? Angry? Gods, what if she was an affectionate drunk and tried to… He shuddered, unable to even think of it. 

“'_What’s the harm?’ You all should know better! Did she even know what she was drinking? This is inappropriate. _” He gestured to Y/N and then swiped his hand to everyone else who was drinking in her company. 

“_They’ve been very respectable! _” Dori (aka Mother Hen) assured, helping himself to another bun from the small bowl in his hands.

Sure, Dwarves had a high constitution for alcohol and it took them a very long time before they reached the threshold of intoxication. And even if they were a rowdy bunch, this particular group still had morals and a couple lads among them to hold the peace whenever they got out of hand, but still! Drinking cordially was one thing, but they knew exactly what they gave her and knew of its effects on humans. 

He looked at Kili, wondering why he didn’t try to stop it, but his brother only shrugged and rolled his lips in. Very helpful, Kee… Fili thought in a deadpan. 

“How dare you say that about me!” Y/N scoffed loudly to Fili, bringing his attention back to her. 

Fili quirked an eyebrow. Even though he was annoyed at the situation at hand, he couldn’t help but laugh at how offended she looked when she clearly had no idea what was going on. “What did I say?” he asked indulgently. 

“I don’t know, but how dare you say that about me!”

As the rest of the lot erupted into hearty laughter, Fili shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose, understanding that this was exactly the sort of carelessness that would cause his uncle’s blood vessels to burst if he found out about what everyone was up to while his back was turned. And Thorin was so hard on Y/N as it was. With Fili’s need to protect her from these hooligans, or from Thorin, should he make an appearance, he decided to stay by Y/N’s side until the effects wore off. 

“Where’s Thorin? Does he know about this?” Fili asked casually. No doubt he would have immediately put a stop to it, but he could have just as easily left before they got started. 

“He didn’t join us for long, only passed through to bid us good night. Probably gettin’ a much needed rest,” Dwalin answered after taking a big swig of his drink. “Don’t worry about the lass, I cut her off before they could give her any more. Poured the garbage right out to water the plants with.” 

Fili grinned. Thank Mahal for Dwalin having the sense to do right while he was away. Though if Fili were there, he’d have made sure that Y/N didn’t drink it at all or paced herself at the least. 

As he took his place beside Y/N, Kili hopped up from his seat to rifle through the basket Fili set down, marveling at how nice the apples looked. In all honesty, Fili had forgotten he brought them. Kili picked two for himself and started tossing the rest through the air to everyone else who wanted some. Fili decided against peaches or other fruits the Elf showed him, knowing that Dwarves often preferred more robust treats so he kept the apples. 

Since Y/N wasn’t in any state of mind for the other treat he intended to give her, he asked, “Would you like an apple?”

“Yeah! I’ve been craving apples!” she said, accepting what was offered. When she bit into the crisp skin it gave off a sharp crack and she hummed at its taste. Fili meant to join in eating apples with everyone else, but he was hungry for something more fulfilling, so he opted for the cooked sausages Bofur kept to the side. 

While Fili ate, he watched her interact with the others. Aside from being more vocal with some slurs and drawls to her words and vowels, she seemed the same as she was sober. Fili accepted a mug of ale and was thankful that the drinking was more casual than not. As a Dwarf, it simply wouldn’t do to turn down a drink, whether you wanted one or not. Fili happened to be very blunt, affectionate drunk, so he made a mental note to keep his drinking slow and minimal from here on if ever they were given an opportunity to indulge. 

Y/N sloppily finished the juicy fruit and tossed the core into the fire once she ate her fill. Her sigh of contentment was all the thanks Fili needed and he smiled to himself at a job well done. As he polished off his third sausage, he felt a pair of eyes on him and turned to see the lass drunkenly tilting her head towards him, squinting as if willing her eyes to focus.

“What’s wrong, Y/N?” he asked. 

She cradled her cheeks in her hands and tried to keep it upright, “I had no idea that wine would be so powerful… it didn’t even taste like wine! I wasn’t prepared. Ugh, my head feels so heavy and big. Is my head big?”

“No, it’s the same. Absurdly tiny,” he finished with a wink. 

“Psh. We can’t all have giant noggins like some people.” 

He smirked, “I’m just lucky, I guess! Thank Mahal my ears aren’t as small as yours.” Actually, he thought her ears were absolutely adorable. Not that he was looking.

Y/N elbowed him roughly in retaliation of that remark and lost her balance, causing her to stumble into him instead. Fili caught her before she could land and her eyes locked on and held his own. Their faces were just inches apart. He cast a quick glance around at everyone and aside from the chuckles and points, nobody seemed to care much. As he pulled away, her hand reached up before he could stop her.

“You know somethin’? I. Love. These. Braids.” 

Her fingers played with his mustache like a cat would play with string, and while the act alone was lost on her, Fili remained painfully aware and stiffened. Kili choked and coughed on his pipe in a fit of giggles behind them and Bofur let out an amused “oh my!” and Fili quickly shoved her back over to her spot and he took that time to stuff more food in his mouth just to avoid thinking about how she touched his facial hair. Drunk and ignorantly, but she still did it. And… _ in front of everyone. _Thankfully not all the Company was watching, but the few that were had only found the intimate touching funny, if just a tad uncomfortable for those who were more traditional. Y/N had no idea, the lucky, blissful thing.

“So, the lass was about to grace us with a song!” Bofur interjected, much to their relief.

She rubbed her face and mumbled against her hands, “Oh, you remembered that, huh?” Then in a smaller voice, “Do I have to? I’m not even that good.”

Bofur scoffed and waved his hand at that.

“Yer among friends! It’s not a competition, Y/N. We aren’t going to judge ya. My voice sounds like a mountain boar pulling its foot out of the swamp but you don’t see me bein’ bashful!”

“Much to the dismay fer the rest of us!” Nori butted in, throwing his apple core at him. Bofur made an obscene gesture towards him but faced Y/N with a pleading smile while reverting to the age of five.

“Just one song?” The floppy-hatted Dwarf even tried to puppy-dog eye her. And it was oddly effective. Especially as others started to chime in to express their interest and curiosity of the types of songs her people sung. 

Y/N fiddled with her hands, likely from nervousness, and made a grab for someone’s mug. “I think I need more liquid courage—”

“Oh, no you don’t!” Fili hastily leaned over and slapped her hand away. “No more drinking for you, lass.”

She pouted as Bofur put on his best pleading face and begging hands, then held up one finger and mouthed, “Just _ one _song?” and Y/N finally conceded with a deep sigh and very exaggerated eye roll.

“You better not laugh at me,” she warned as the group expressed their delight.

Satisfied that his efforts were successful, Bofur smiled and nodded happily, his ridiculous hate flaps bouncing along with him as he took his seat across from her. He shushed some folks who were being too loud and waited anxiously for her to begin. Fili had to admit to being very curious about the music from her world as well, but more so to hear her singing voice for the first time. She had only explained a few of them to him during their travels but not enough to give him a good assessment. 

“Well?” Dwalin huffed at her when all was quiet for a few moments longer than necessary.

She was visibly flustered aat having their full attention and Fili was tempted to reassure her that she didn’t need to be pressured into singing if she truly didn’t want to, but he kept his mouth shut about it because he was hoping that she would decide to sing in the end. He didn’t understand why it was something he felt he _ had _to hear.

“Hold on! I’m trying to decide what would be appropriate.” She tapped her chin in thought for a while but then her eyes lit up and she sat straighter, placing her hands on her knees. Y/N’s eyes scanned the room with a playful light dancing inside of them.

“Okay, I think I got one. There’s a whole story that goes along with it, but in between scenes, there’s songs that the characters sing, and I’m very certain you all will appreciate some of them.”

“Well, I’m intrigued!” Kili said from behind them. Since Fili had shown no intent of returning to the bench, he extended his legs to make himself more comfortable. 

“Ooh! Is it a play?” Ori asked all excited, abandoning his book to scramble closer for a better listen.

“Sorta. We call them musicals where I’m from. Obviously, there’s supposed to be more than one person singing, as well as instruments, but I’ll do my best as a one lady band! I gotta warn you all though. The content is very risque.” She made eyes with a couple of the older Dwarves at this, as if she knew they might disapprove. It came as a pleasant surprise to her that they were more curious than anything considering the grief she was given for joking around with Bofur that one morning, but she was thanked for the disclaimer.

“I’ve got a lute,” Dwalin offered. 

Fili added, “I can play my violin.”

“I’ve got my flute!” Bofur held his up at the ready. 

Y/N considered the options but eventually decided that a lute was best to start since it was “the closest to a guitar”, which was the only instrument she knew how to play. Fili didn’t know what a guitar was, but assumed it was probably like a lute. He made a note to ask her about it later. After Dwalin retrieved his lute from his things and made sure it was in tune, Y/N explained that the main theme of the musical was present basically throughout the entire story so once they got accustomed to the pattern, they could join in if they felt like it. 

Y/N strummed the lute a few times to acquaint herself with its sound, and Fili took that time to admire the way her hair fell into her face. It was still done up beautifully, but hanging around a party of Dwarves and drinking Elven wine had disheveled her do a bit, but in the most beautiful way. He hoped she would wear her hair like this more often from now on. If he had his way, he’d tend to her hair whenever she wished. The fact that he couldn’t have his way had put only the slightest dampening to his spirits. He had to remember that he could only love her from afar. 

For now… a part of him hoped. 

Fili also took notice that she was wearing different clothes. He tried not to stare too much at her trousers and how it accentuated her legs so he brought his focus back up to her face. Smiling as she became more relaxed with an instrument in her hands. 

“What’s the story about?” he asked her. 

She gave him and everybody else a mischievous cackle, raising the anticipation of the clueless group even more. “Oh, you’ll know _ exactly _what type of story it is just from the opening song.”

“So!” she announced to the group who was eagerly waiting for her to begin, her fingers strummed along the strings creating the tune that was building into the first song. “The story is called Galavant. And it starts like this:

_ Way back in days of old _

_ There was a legend told _

_ About a hero known as Galavant! _”

* * * * *

“And that’s it for now; to be continued for another time!” Y/N concluded with a final strum of the lute before setting it aside. She’d put on such a great show and had developed a bit of a sweat while performing for them. But the Dwarves were too entranced with the story to notice she needed a break several songs ago.

There was a round of mutual disagreement on her announcement, and Fili had to admit that he, too, was a bit brought down by the sudden end to her story when it obviously wasn’t finished. In fact, it was just getting good! And he wanted to know what happened! 

“What?! You can’t stop the story there, you just got started! What happened after Galavant sees Madalena for the first time after her kidnapping?” The group protested.

“Why doesn’t she just flee the castle?” Someone else questioned. 

“Does he stop the wedding in time? I'd have struck him down and tossed my lass over my shoulder and left.” That was Dwalin.

“That king is a right arse… thank Durin Thorin isn’t like that.” Gloin.

“Aw, I wish he was here to hear this! Thorin would enjoy this story.” Kili.

And Bofur, “Can’t you tell us just a wee bit more, lass?”

Y/N brought up a finger to her lips, indicating to all inquirers that she had no inclination to divulge a thing they asked about. “Tune in next week, same bat time, same bat channel.”

“Next week!?” Ori, Bofur, and Dwalin protested. 

Bofur then scratched his head at her other choice of words. “What’s bat time? Oh, no… I hope it isn’t an indicator for a long waiting period! Wait, how does that even work?”

“Who cares how it works!” Nori whined. “You can’t make us wait a whole week for the next part of the story! Just tell us if he snags her back at the weddin', at least.”

Y/N said, “We'll talk about this later, I’m tired, guys. I wanna go to bed.”

When she made a move to stand up and leave, she wobbled and Fili sat up to steady her. She waved him off thinking she could walk just fine on her own, but proved herself wrong with losing her balance and falling backwards into Kili. 

As the protesting grew louder and more insistent, Y/N groaned. “Fine, fine! Maybe tomorrow. But I’m super tired and this wine isn’t leaving my system as fast as I thought it would. I need to sleep it off before I get too comfortable around you all and do something really—”

“By all means, get comfortable with us!” Bofur jumped in, trying to escort her back to the party. He probably meant to convince her to continue on with the story, but Fili was indignant at the fact that there was another Dwarf’s mitts on his One while she was intoxicated and trying to leave for bed.

This time, Fili didn't hold back in kicking him away and made it abundantly clear how displeased he was. “I’m taking her to bed,” he snapped as he drew a protective arm around her waist to let her lean on him. As Bofur threw him a weird look, Fili paled, realizing his actions too late and the words he chose to say as he remembered her predicament, but Kili came to the rescue just in time before anyone could speculate.

“I’ll come with you! A good sleep ought to sober her right up and I need to stretch my legs, anyway.” 

Kili took one of her arms in hand and Fili quickly followed suit and together they led Y/N away sandwiched in between them. He was glad for the extra help since Y/N’s feet had a mind of their own and kept trying to steer her in varying directions. Fili felt like he had slipped up big time, but he heard their voices carry over as they started away and relaxed.

“What was _ that _all about?” Bofur asked. 

Dori huffed. “Honestly Bofur, you have the worst mouth. Lady Y/N is drunk and you’re trying to force her to stay and ‘get comfortable’ with a bunch of dwarrows? What, are you waiting for her to pass out on us or something?” he hinted.

“Oi! I was just hopin’ to get her to continue the story, I didn’t mean any harm!”

“It did come off a little odd, lad. She probably won’t even remember this,” Dwalin commented. “But Fili and Kili were right to walk her to her room; you shouldn’t have encouraged her to drink that rubbish anyway.”

“Mahal, I hope she doesn’t remember… sounds awful when you put it like that. I better apologize to her tomorrow,” Bofur concluded. Eventually their voices couldn’t reach them any further and Y/N was more engaged with her conversation with Kili.

“Guys, I appreciate your very gentlemanly behavior, but I can handle walking to my room. I’m not spoiling the rest of the story to either of you, either,” she finished with a yawn. 

“What if we just wanted you to save us from such gruff company? Are you going to deny us a nice walk with a fair maiden? Although, if you did want to give us just a tiny bit more detail, we promise to act very surprised next time you tell it!” Kili’s suave response earned him a giddy chuckle that was heavily supplemented from two goblets too many of Elven wine. 

Fili rolled his eyes when Kili wagged his eyebrows at him and felt a change in weight as Kili suddenly broke away. 

“Oh, Mahal! I forgot my... my…”

As Fili gaped at him like he was nuts for such a poor acting job as Kili kept pointing behind him and not being able to finish his sentence. It was painfully obvious he didn’t forget anything. But Y/N didn’t seem to understand what was going on and looked between them with a goofy, oblivious smile. 

Kili cleared his throat and finished, “I left something back there. You two go on without me, I’ll catch up.” 

“Kee!” Fili hissed under his breath, already knowing what Kili was aiming to do but really wished he wouldn’t. But Kili only winked at him and practically skipped his way back to their camp humming the theme of Galavant as he went. Leaving Fili and Y/N alone together.

“Shall we?” Fili sighed, leading her onward and trying not to notice that she was relying on him to keep her on her feet, literally. 

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you planned to be alone with me.” He could feel her breath on his ear as Y/N whispered to him. Keeping his eyes ahead and his voice firm, he tried to will his blush down at her being so close and how wonderful she smelled. He suddenly felt like he needed to bathe all over again since he likely smelled of sausages. 

“I would never take advantage of a drunken maiden. And I won’t allow anyone else to, either.”

She paused and then, “I was just joking with you, I know you wouldn’t. You’re sweet, like Galavant!”

He smiled at that. “Are you trying to say that I’m a sensitive, dashing hero who encounters misfortunes?”

Because... that wasn't too far from the truth. Fili was always a bit of a sensitive, compassionate soul, his luck was average to mediocre at best, and his reputation? Well, if Thorin were any source to go by, Fili hanging around Y/N as often as he was had already damaged his uncle's view of him in his eyes. But at least back then it truly was all out of innocent intentions. Now, after learning she was his One, no matter how he tried to play his actions off, there would always be an undercurrent of love involved. Something Fili desperately hoped would remain secret for as long as possible. But his beard be damned, if anyone dared try to kidnap her from him, he’d have their head.

"I was _trying_ to imply that you're dashing, courageous, handsome and charming, but now I'm gonna take it all back," she snubbed.

He wasn’t sure if that was just her loose tongue talking or if she really meant it, but even so, his chest inflated right along with his Dwarven ego. Fili and her continued their banter as they pressed forward before he brought them to a temporary halt. "I just realized that I have no idea where your room is."

Y/N yawned, fatigue from the day, wine, and festivity catching up with her. Fili always had the chance to watch over her while she slept at camp, but since they had their own beds, he wouldn't be able to do so. It was funny to him how he also had a nice big, warm bed waiting for him, but he was more put out at not knowing if Y/N would be sleeping well since he wouldn't be watching over her. But at least he knew she was safe here, and that was all that mattered. 

"I passed by your hall earlier today; I'm down on the far side of it and around the corner."

As she guided him along and they found their way to her room at last, he made sure Y/N was tucked in. He didn't like how all of the rooms here had no doors or proper windows... Everything was wide open and public. He didn't like the thought of Y/N changing and an Elf happened to be walking by and see her all indecent. What was the matter with them? Poor craftsmanship, this is. When they get to Erebor, Fili was going to make sure Y/N had a strong, sturdy door (that locked!), a huge, luxurious room, and—

He stopped short with a chilling thought he never thought about until just then. He had no idea how long Y/N was to stay with them. What if it was decided unanimously to leave her here in Rivendell? It’s not like he had any real say to it, but if that ended up being the case, then he would return to her. And assuming she did stay with them until the end of their quest, what was going to happen to Y/N after they reclaimed their mountain? Where would she go? Would Thorin allow her to stay there with them or would she go off to live with her own people? Or would she... return to her own world? Fili tried to pay attention to what Y/N was saying to him but his troubled thoughts were lost in the various unknowns of the future and he had no clue where he would fit in with all of it. What a fool he'd been. As much as he wanted her to come live with them, Fili still had to remember that Y/N wasn't from Middle Earth. She had her own life. Her own family and friends that she missed and who missed her, too. Just because he'd fallen in love with her didn't mean that their futures would become intertwined and they would end up together.

Of course she would want to go back home. And if that was her wish, then he would help her however he could even if it meant that he would never see her again. Fili rubbed at the ache forming in his chest at that depressing thought. He continued to smile and nod along, still not retaining anything Y/N was telling him, but she seemed receptive to his wordless replies. When she was settled, he bid her goodnight and decided to head back to his room. He hadn't the heart to return to the Company. No, he left that vexing organ in Y/N's room.

* * *

_ “No! Fili!” _

_ Not again… anything but this._

_ Y/N cried out and watched helplessly as the pale Orc, Azog the Defiler, hoisted Fili up into the air before Thorin and Dwalin on the other side of the Ravenhill. Then, when he was sure he held Thorin’s complete attention, Azog pushed his bladed limb deep into the prince’s back. No amount of Y/N’s screaming was able to save him or stop Azog from doing what she had watched happen countless times. The light that made Fili all that he was faded away until he was nothing but an empty vessel hanging off of Azog’s arm. The Dwarf was carelessly discarded, his lifeless body falling down, down, down until he landed with a thump at the snowy base of Ravenhill. _

_ Y/N had grown to care for these Dwarves deeply. She was fond of their spirits, their strong hearts, and stubborn yet endearing dispositions. But every time she had this dream, she had hoped the outcome would be different, that she would somehow be able to break through and save them. And every time she was met only with colossal disappointment. _

_ “Kili, run!” Y/N yelled to him, seeing the anger and rage building behind his eyes after witnessing the death of his brother. But it was no use. Just like the numerous other times of dreaming this awful dream, nobody could hear her no matter what she did. Y/N screamed and pleaded with no success as she was forced to watch Kili die and finally Thorin Oakenshield. She couldn't bear this any longer. _

_ A strange darkness surrounded her, bringing her away from her dream; the colors blurring out of focus until all that was left was her confusion and grief. Y/N wanted so desperately to save them. Anything to spare her from watching those impending deaths again. What was the point of this recurring dream? She didn’t understand why she cared so much for people that didn’t even exist, but since that dream had basically consumed not only her sleeping moments, but her waking ones as well, it was hard not to care. _

_ “If you were offered the chance to save the line of Durin,” a voice said. “Would you?” _

Y/N exploded out of bed with fresh tears in her eyes and her panicked heart racing. It was strange… she hadn’t had that dream since the night before she first got here. But that voice! She’d never recalled speaking to anybody after the dream, but she recognized it from somewhere. 

Searching through the fog in her post-sleep mind, the realization arrived in a flash: Y/N maybe have just recalled a fragment of The Day Before, the event she referred to as the day before Middle Earth—it was a part of the memory she had forgotten. It was just a piece, but she suddenly remembered the darkness. And water and the sensation of drowning. But before all of that, she remembered talking to someone.

_ “If you were offered the chance to save the line of Durin, would you?” _

Y/N recognized it as the same omnipotent voice that gave her the task from the vision of the trolls! She thought hard to remember anything past that, but her head felt like it was cracking open just with the attempt alone. She groaned and stopped trying, it wasn’t worth killing herself over. 

“Y/N?” 

Y/N whipped her head to the side and saw that Fili, Bilbo, and Elrond were present in the room. Before she could even become embarrassed for waking in such a state among company she didn’t know she’d have, Fili pressed something into her hand, distracting her from the six pairs of eyes staring at her. She dabbed her eyes with the handkerchief she had been given, and muttered a feeble thanks.

She looked around at all three of their worried faces and winced into the early morning sunlight filtering in through the many windows. No doubt the sun had just peeked its way over the valley and there was no telling what she had done in the throes of her nightmare to have gained an audience, but she felt terribly guilty for possibly disturbing them. And others. As if they all weren’t being a disturbance enough in Elrond’s home as it was. 

“I’m so sorry if I woke you up.” Y/N folded the piece of fabric in her hands into squares. Then squared them into smaller squares before laying it out flat and making triangles. “I swear this doesn’t happen that often.”

“Our only concern is that of your wellbeing,” Elrond smiled, Bilbo eagerly agreed. “Is there anything I can send for you? Tea?”

Y/N dipped her head down, feeling embarrassed anyway. “Maybe just accept my apology and we’ll call it even? Thanks for checking in on me, it was just a nightmare... nothing serious.”

Elrond canted his head and surveyed her expression. It was likely that he assumed there was more to her dream than she was letting on, but Y/N refused to elaborate. He approached the bed, stopping once he reached the foot of it and didn’t push the topic. 

“It’s the Hobbit you should be thanking. He worried you might be succumbing to an illness and sought me for help.”

“Actually,” Bilbo butted in. “Fili was the one who got to you first. I just happened to be passing by when I heard the commotion.”

Y/N looked to Fili panicked, “Commotion? Was I having a fit of a nightmare all night long!?”

“No, no! I happen to be an early riser and was out for a morning stroll. I heard you start crying just after dawn,” Bilbo answered hastily for him. “Fili was already at your side by the time I got here to check on you.”

Bilbo aptly frowned as a thought occurred to him.

“Wait, what were you doing in her room so early, Fili? You sleep like a rock...” Bilbo asked him. Elrond raised an amused brow and Y/N looked to him questioningly. 

“I had a bit to drink the other night, after escorting her to bed. I woke up with my back teeth floating and heard her on the way back. My room is right around the corridor,” he replied swiftly, jabbing his thumb in the general direction. Elrond continued to smile meaningfully but said nothing. 

“Ah, that makes sense then. You all are such hearty drinkers,” Bilbo wrinkled his nose in distaste. He fancied his own share of drink usually as a supplement to his food. Never to intentionally get plastered. 

“Y/N was fairly well off, herself! You should have seen her, she even told a musical story for us!”

The Hobbit’s eyes twinkled with interest at the word.

Y/N’s face heated up at the surprised look Bilbo gave her and she hid her face behind her hands. “Ugh, Fili, why would you bring that up…”

“It was really good, too!” Fili continued, ignoring her growing embarrassment. “She is an excellent story-teller. You should have joined us, Bilbo. You’re always welcome, you know.”

Bilbo fidgeted and cast a sheepish look at Elrond at that. They seemed to communicate something silently to one another but Bilbo wouldn’t allow another awkward moment to form. 

“Well, perhaps, next time the opportunity presents itself for another musical story, I’d be very happy to join you all,” Bilbo said to Y/N and Fili. “Are you certain you’re all right?”

“Yes, promise,” she replied. 

“Very well. We’ll leave you to rest, but should you need anything?” Elrond implied. 

Y/N smiled and nodded. “I’ll let you know.”

Since the “crisis” had passed, Elrond bid her a good morning and went about his day and Bilbo had expressed an interest in getting up to speed on Galavant before she continued with the story with the others, and she informed him they could do so at breakfast. 

After Bilbo left, Fili lingered behind and rubbed the back of his neck in a way that suggested he was working up the courage to say something. Eventually, he turned around and walked back over. 

“Actually, what I said wasn’t entirely true,” he admitted sheepishly. 

Y/N’s eyebrows drew close together and she wasn’t quite sure what to make of that. “About what?”

Fili enlightened her lost expression by adding, “I did wake up early and went to use the bathroom but I was purposefully walking to your room because I wanted to give you…” He seemed to reach for something in his coat but dropped his hand. “But on the way here, I heard you call for me. I thought I was mistaken at first, but you kept saying my name. You sounded scared, so I ran to you as fast as I could when I realized that you were just dreaming.”

Y/N swallowed as she took in those words. She must have been screaming in her sleep while she dreamt of their deaths again. She wasn’t sure what else he might have heard, or if she said anything else. But she was more curious as to why he would lie in front of Bilbo and Elrond about that. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I didn’t want you to feel embarrassed. I tried to wake you, like I promised I would, but no matter what I did, I couldn’t calm you. You were so upset… I didn’t want to leave you like that but thankfully Mister Baggins was nearby, so I had him get help in case this wasn’t a nightmare. He brought Lord Elrond who brought in some oils and incense for you to breathe and it helped relax you. Then you woke up shortly after.”

“I meant about why you were already heading to my room.”

“Oh,” Fili dug into one of his pockets in his coat to show Y/N a small satchel before placing it on the bedside table. “I wanted to leave this for you. Thinking back on it now, I could have gone about it in a less… sneaky way.”

She eyed the satchel curiously, wondering what he could have possibly wanted to leave her to wake up to.

“What is it?”

“A surprise. I’d meant to give it to you yesterday, but you weren’t in the right frame of mind,” he smirked. Y/N rolled her eyes at him but couldn’t stop the smile from forming. She had definitely learned her lesson. No way she was ever drinking with those Dwarves again unless it was water. Not really one to get drunk often, Y/N seemed to always be very cognizant and aware of her surroundings, even while under the influence. 

As such, she remembered everything that happened. Especially Fili, as usual, looking out for her best interest in not letting her drink any more and helping her get to bed instead of letting her stumble off to her room alone. And how he never once tried to take advantage of her. No guy from her world had ever bothered going to such lengths. Hell, even a couple of her past boyfriends had intentionally tried to get her hammered just in hopes of copping a cheap feel. And here’s this stranger—well, not exactly… she dreamed of him for so long she already considered him a friend—doing his all to keep her safe. 

A small spark ignited somewhere inside of her. Too fleeting for her to comprehend what it was but she felt closer to Fili now for some reason. 

_ “If you were offered the chance to save the line of Durin, would you?” _

Y/N glanced up to see Fili watching her with another worried expression. “Nothing happened while you were drunk,” he hastily assured. “I swear, I made sure nobody laid a hand on you and when you requested to go to bed, Kili and I escorted you—well, he started to before he forgot his… whatever it was. But I didn’t touch you either, I promise.”

Y/N smiled warmly. Even if she didn’t have any memory of last night, she wouldn’t have thought for an instant that he would have behaved unjustly. 

“I know, I remember. You really are like Galavant,” she giggled. 

He crossed his arms and smirked. “I thought you took back your words?”

“Well, I take back what I took back. Okay, that made no sense, but you know what I mean!” 

They shared a laugh and the discomforting silence that came after it. Fili was standing here before her full of life. It was hard for her to picture him pale and cold as the ice he was dropped on. She didn’t want to think of such awful thoughts now, but the memory of the dream was still much too fresh, and Fili, through no fault of his own, had inadvertently triggered it.

“Was it the same nightmare as before?” he asked eventually. Fili was right to be curious about it considering how she was screaming his name in her sleep.

Y/N’s thoughts returned to that nightmare. To Fili’s death; Kili’s and Thorin’s. Y/N gripped the edge of her blanket and bit her lip, not knowing what to say. She wanted someone to talk to about this, but she couldn’t tell _ him. _He’d freak out! Shit, anyone would. 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. I’ll let you rest.” Fili took her silence as his cue to leave so he awkwardly cleared his throat and started inching his way back out and excused himself. Y/N jacked forward in the bed on impulse to stop him.

“Fili?”

“Hm?”

She opened and closed her mouth a couple times. She wanted to say something. Anything, but she didn’t know what. Y/N wanted to explain, but she wasn’t ready to tell Fili that she had seen him die. Multiple times. And that he and his kin just might be well on their way down that very path, unless she was somehow able to stop it. He smiled softly and stuck his thumbs in his belt. 

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. Considering how upset you were, I wouldn't want to force you to relive it just because I’m curious.”

Oh, you have no idea...

“I’d like to tell you, but not yet. But thanks for watching over me. Not a lot of guys actually go out of their way to keep their promises, so I’m happy that even though you couldn’t wake me up, you still tried.”

Fil’s brows pulled together in confusion. “I gave you my word and we pinky swore.” He briefly stuck out his pinky. “I would never break a promise to you if I’d no intention of keeping it. But let’s just hope that from here on, you only have pleasant dreams, aye?” he said with a smile. 

Y/N giggled, feeling her cheeks warm at his kindness and that tiny, questionable spark fluttering to life again. He wasn’t your conventional Prince Charming—being neither tall or dark, though he was definitely handsome—but he was the best that Y/N could have ever asked for. He could beat the pants off Galavant any day, too, as far as she was concerned.

Fili had a knack for always coming to her aid whenever she needed someone most. As nice as he was, she hoped that her role wasn’t always damning her into the “damsel in distress” group and he would grow tired by it, even if he did swear to protect her.

“Here’s to hoping,” she concurred. 

Fili clapped his hands together to wrap up the casually polite conversation they were using to stall and delay from speaking about the main concern that was not on the table for discussion.

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m craving some breakfast!”

Y/N looked over at the windows, wondering if the kitchen was even awake and preparing it at this hour. “This early?”

Fili smiled with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “I never said I’d be waiting for everyone else. But I think that might tide you over for a while.” He jerked his chin towards the small satchel on the side table. 

After he departed Y/N fiddled with the ties of the satchel arbitrarily as she recollected on her dream and what she remembered from it. She had come to the decision to speak to Gandalf about it. Maybe he’d have some answers, and he could definitely keep a secret. To force her to stop thinking too much about the unwanted deaths of her friends, Y/N decided to distract herself with whatever it was that Fili brought her and eased the cinched fabric open and peered inside. A wide smile made its way to her face when she dug in and devoured the contents.

Pfft. Whoever said cookies weren’t for breakfast clearly had never had these bad boys before. 

Though Fili’s thoughtfulness was way sweeter than the star-shaped cookies were, it served to considerably brighten Y/N’s mood until her nightmare was all but a forgotten thought. 

* * *

“Do not be afraid of the blade. Think of it as an extension of your arm.”

“I don’t wanna hurt him…” 

“You won’t,” Kili promised, completely free of any worry that Y/N was blatantly harboring. 

“It would be impossible for her to kill anything with that poor form, anyway,” Thorin added for Kili’s ears, watching Y/N’s training progress with Fili. She treated the thing as if it would bite her and she wasn’t being given any proper guidance to improve her stance or confidence. He should have known that when his nephews volunteered to help her practice sword wielding after breakfast that they would go too easy on her.

Just what did they think awaited them out there? Puppies? Y/N wanted to learn how to train to avoid being a burden, and by Mahal, she was going to be trained correctly. 

Irked at the unnecessary coddling being had when both his nephews have had more than ample training drilled into them to know better, Thorin couldn’t take it anymore and approached the dueling pair, signaling for them to stop. Facing Y/N, he corrected her posture and hand positioning and demonstrated the proper way to swing, utilizing the weight in her legs as her source of strength.

Fili got into position when Thorin gave him a nod. “Relax,” she told her when she tensed. “Your shoulders, relax your shoulders. No, do not grip it that way, hold it like I showed you. Mahal, woman! Are you doing poorly on purpose?”

“Uncle! It’s just training, she’s allowed to make mistakes.” Fili frowned.

“Aye, but not when she continues to repeat them again and again!”

Y/N’s jaw clenched but she didn’t utter a word. However, based on the daggers she had as her eyes, Thorin knew the lass had several remarks she wanted to comeback with, but he found it wise that she held her tongue. She’s the one who asked him to join them as a spectator, after all. If she couldn’t handle constructive criticism, then she shouldn’t waste his time, let alone play around with a sword that she didn't bother to use properly. 

But their Seer was very persistent. He had to respect her drive and perseverance even through his harsh critique, despite her not following his input. Y/N looked ready to take his head off. It was actually quite an adorable sight, not that he would openly admit it. 

He beckoned for her to hand him her blade and faced off with Fili, who resumed a defensive stance. 

“Watch my movement carefully, I will not move slowly,” Thorin told Y/N. “Take note of my footwork and positioning of my swings.”

Y/N rubbed the back of her hand across her sweaty forehead and moved backwards to give them space. Her annoyance was clear on her face, but he had her full attention. Thorin focused his sight back on Fili and gave him another nod. 

Fili readied himself as Thorin charged forward with his offense and got lost in the thrill soon after. The two of them haven’t done this in quite a few decades. Fili was a highly skilled swordsman, even at his young age. And now he was one of the best fighters that Thorin had with him, aside from Dwalin, Balin, and Kili. Gods, he could still remember the day when he taught Fili to fight for the first time. He knew that Fili had long admired him, even when his father was still alive. Vili, Thorin’s brother-in-law, would not allow him to fight until he spent the time and care it took to make his own weapon to spar with on his own. Only then would he grant Fili permission to train with Thorin. 

It was a proud day for all of them when Fili returned from the forge, with Vili’s accompaniment, of course; and held up his first sword which is now likely mounted on a wall in his room back at the Blue Mountains. To think that Fili, before their quest, would be subject to a life of smithing like Thorin was when their family was meant for so much more. But now Thorin was able to offer his kin a better life—their birthright as the descendants of Durin. Fili would be the Crown Prince of Erebor, the next heir to the throne. Thorin was relieved that his royal lineage would once again flourish in their extravagant luxury. Despite what Balin had said back at Bilbo’s, their future in Erebor was definitely a better life than any they had at the Blue Mountains. No more would he work hand to mouth providing for his sister and nephews. No more were they to be subject to such low living as they had been and be forced to resume a life of servitude to that of Man in exchange for measly coin. And folks thought Dwarves were a greedy lot! 

Mahal, Thorin had lost count on the number of weapons he’d forged that was worth much more than what Man had paid him—

Being so wrapped up in his thoughts, Thorin had forgotten about the sparring until Fili got a good whack in even though he was only supposed to deflect his blows. Cheeky bugger. 

Fili expertly dodged and blocked Thorin’s advances with acute focus and diligent coordination as they danced around each other. Thorin was proud of who his oldest nephew had become. Fili seemed to enjoy their dueling as well and could read his every move just like old times. Perhaps if time allowed it, they could do this again sometime. 

“We'll stop here for now!” Thorin called after several minutes of sparring. He looked over his shoulder to make sure the lesson was learned and found Y/N staring wide eyed at them both over her crossed arms. 

“Wow…” she breathed. Fili’s smile was full of self-satisfaction. 

“Impressed?” Kili chimed in proudly on behalf of his kin.

Thorin sneered. 

“This is child's play. A Dwarfling can do this with ease by the time they are of age. Do you think you can?” he asked in a bored tone, handing Y/N back the sword hilt first. The impressed expression erased from her features and Y/N roughly grabbed her sword back and bumped shoulders passed him. 

“Thorin, it’s only my second try! Jesus Christ almighty, could you stop belittling every single thing I do?” she snapped at him, getting into position and facing Fili. “Let’s go!” 

Fili looked between them bewildered for a moment before jumping back into defense as Y/N advanced with a rather comical attempt at a war cry. Thorin bit back a smile so as not to further antagonize her, his work was done. 

“You made her mad,” Kili muttered in disapproval to Thorin when he joined his side once more. 

“That is no concern of mine. She needs to learn properly,” came the reply. 

Anger fueled a fighter in battle, filling them up with that fire they needed to sustain the fight. Y/N was too wrapped up in her head to utilize a better focus, so he had to press some buttons to loosen her up and watched the results unfold before him. Not perfect—definitely not perfect. But much better. Now she was loosened up and expelling her anger on Fili who expertly blocked her every advance with little effort. 

“Ah, right... you used to do the same to us. This reminds me of all those days we used to spend training with you,” Kili said with a smile in his voice. 

Thorin hummed in agreement, recalling more carefree days.

“I never could understand why Fili was so much better at it than I was. I practiced twice as hard and got nowhere.”

Thorin’s eyes monitored Y/N’s actions closely, not looking away in case he needed to correct her again. 

“As talented as you were with the sword, the bow was always your weapon of choice, but you mastered it in time.”

Kili gave him a side eye. “I mastered it by practicing every day until I was fifty-three. You wouldn’t even take me hunting with you until I grew proficient even though I was great with a bow.”

Thorin nodded offhandedly. 

Kili let a moment of pause occur before adding to the point he was trying to get at, “Y/N’s been practicing for a total of two days and is already doing much better than I did.”

Thorin briefly closed his eyes and sighed. He didn’t bother taking the bait, so he remained silent. But he didn’t need to, Kili still had more than he wished to say about it. 

“All right, perhaps that’s a stretch. Uncle, she’s doing what she can and what’s more, Y/N _ asked _to train! Bilbo obviously hasn’t fought anything before and he hasn’t once asked us for any lessons. Besides, when it comes down to it, Fili is more than capable of watching over her.”

“She is an unnecessary distraction to us. If it were solely my decision, she would not be here at all. I'd have left both her and the Hobbit back in the Shire.” Okay, that wasn’t entirely true. But Thorin was raised to value females. The wild is no place for them, especially when there are Orcs lurking about. He did admit that he still needed to know the real purpose of her coming to them before he decided what to do. But unfortunately, that wasn’t his full decision, was it. Gandalf had raised an interesting point with the runes in her arms. And Thorin couldn’t help but constantly vary moment to moment on whether or not Y/N being here was for their benefit or against it. Confounded situation. It really burned his beard. 

Kili looked at him with a full disgruntled frown. Thorin didn’t blame him, he was still a young lad. A pretty face among males was always welcome when you were as reckless and virile as young dwarrows are. 

“What do you have against Y/N, uncle? She’s done nothing but aid us and she stays out of your way. The manner in which she arrived here...” he drifted and shook his head. “I don’t understand. You always told us that we should treasure and accept the Valar’s blessings, since they would appear to us in mysterious ways.”

“And do you believe she is a blessing?” Thorin countered.

“Yes. And _ I _ didn’t need to see the markings on her arms to gain that assessment.”

Thorin had nothing to say to that, so kept his eyes on Fili and how even though he wasn’t holding back any more, he was still going much easier on her than when Thorin temporarily jumped in. Then he remembered how playful they were together, she was so forward! Kili was obviously taken by the lass, too, but they were both inexperienced and knew so little of the world outside of the comforts they grew up with in the Blue Mountains. It was pertinent that they remained levelheaded and with a female around, it was only a matter of time before her feminine wiles got to the rest of them, too; his men had much more willpower and propriety, but they were still males.

Kili said, “I mean no offense, but are you truly against the idea that the Valar themselves placed her into our care?”

Thorin mulled those words over honestly, putting aside his fears and doubts. As much as he fought against the idea of Y/N being here, he still could not deny that he saw those runes. And if he ever were to question himself, Gandalf saw them, too. 

“I admit, her coming here may be the Valar’s doing, aye. But everything about her is clouded with secrets that she deems fit to not disclose. This quest will be perilous and dangerous, and what worries me with her being amongst us is that she might make him soft,” Thorin said quietly. There was no question as to who this “him” was. He felt Kili’s hand press briefly on his shoulder.

“You need to give us more credit, uncle. And Y/N,” he added pointedly. “We may not know all the whys or hows, but Y/N is an asset to the Company. We cannot ignore the fact that she has insight that we need to succeed. Just because she gets along well with us doesn’t mean we’re going soft. We should embrace new friendships and form alliances with those loyal to us and I’d much rather have Y/N as a friend than an enemy.”

Thorin clapped his nephew back with a few pats before ruffling his unruly hair. “When did you mature into such an adult?”

Kili made a show of looking thoughtful. “The same time you turned into a grumpy old goat,” he said, smoothing out what Thorin tussled. 

Thorin elbowed him but with a smile. “And when was this, pray tell?”

“Since always, I reckon,” Kili grinned with his hands behind his head. Thorin fondly regarded his youngest nephew who, at the drop of a hat, could be both so wise and ruthlessly reckless. Always one to follow in his brother’s footsteps, Kili still had his signature personality that even he couldn’t break free from no matter how much like Fili he tried to aspire to be. Behind that boyish grin and soulful eyes that had always seemed to tweak Thorin’s heartstrings until he gave in to his every whim, there was a sageness that Thorin didn’t often get to see. Frankly, he wasn’t sure it was there at all most times. 

And though this was the first real excursion Thorin had ever taken either of them on, it was hard for him to accept that Kili was... grown up. And here he was, giving Thorin his insight and counseling using the same deductive reasoning and tactics Thorin and Balin had aimed (fruitlessly at the time) to instill in him. As much sense as Kili made, Thorin still felt the need to tread carefully. 

During their conversation, Fili and Y/N had ended their training panting and sweating and Thorin decided that now was as good a time as any to speak with the girl with a topic that was long overdue. 

“Seer, a word.”

“‘Seer’ has a name, you know,” she said, making an obvious indication of not looking at him. He ignored the petty response by suppressing an equally petty eye roll threatening to break free. Fili exchanged a questioning look to Kili, who shrugged, clueless. 

“_ Y/N _,” he corrected tightly, “if I may have a word with you, that would be appreciated.”

She turned to regard him with a surly expression and after sheathing her sword in its holster she sighed. “Go ahead then.”

Y/N didn’t seem to have any intention of following him when he made a move to break away and it took all of Thorin’s strength not to just forget the whole thing. But he had answers he felt he deserved, but he didn’t want to speak to her if she was going to behave like a child about it. And to think he worried that his men would fall victim to her charms? Ha!

In fact, Thorin was just about to call the whole starting fresh off when Kili suddenly jumped in to usher Fili away by the shoulders. “Let’s get you cleaned up before your smell affronts our hosts.”

Fili quickly lifted his arm to get a quick sniff in.

“What’re you talking about? I don’t smell that bad—”

“And I know how hungry you get after dueling, so let’s see about lunch as well!”

One confused look at Thorin and Fili got the hint. This conversation wasn't meant for their ears and he knew better than to press his either of them, given their current attitudes towards the other. 

"Right... let's go then."

The duo continued on speaking about nothing relevant and left Thorin and Y/N to their privacy. But at the moment, Thorin’s mood was not suitable, and neither was hers, for a one-on-one. They stood there in silence for a while with glares on their faces, as if they were two kids whose parents had left them in time out to work out their differences. Reminded him of the time he and his brother had to—

“Well?” she prompted. 

He swallowed down those memories, still unsure with how much she actually did know about him. “For starters, you’re welcome.”

Now her eyes widened. “For what? Being rude to me for no reason?”

Thorin’s blue eyes narrowed at her tone. Ah, so she was unappreciative of his help. Very well. “You wanted my help with your training and I have given it. If you cannot handle constructive criticism, then do not ask me for it. I've more important things to do with my time if my help is only to be wasted on ungrateful ears.”

“Ungrateful! Wow, okay. This is unbelievable, you belittle me and expect a thank you out of it because I should be _ grateful _you graced me with your presence? Please! And don’t even get me started on all the hurtful things you’re constantly saying while I’m right within earshot. I hear you say what a burden I am, but you don’t need to be such a jerk about it and might as well say it to my face instead of in passing!” 

“I did not ask to speak with you to engage in childish banter!” he said, his voice rising. 

“Whatever! I’m still not thanking you for being a mean brute to me. Why did you ask to speak with me at all?” she countered even louder. 

“I am beginning to question that very thing myself!” 

Y/N withdrew with a face red with anger, crossing her arms and glaring at her boots. Thorin rubbed his temples. Hard. And multiple calming breaths. This was not going as planned. Perhaps he should have waited to speak to her after the heat of battle had left her body... Thorin's temper was much more susceptible to argument after he fought, and thus tended to save any meaningful conversations after he had a smoke or drink in. He didn't stop to think that that might be the case for females, too. 

“Great talking with you. I’m leaving now,” Y/N turned on her heel to leave and Thorin lunged forward to grab her arm on impulse. He didn’t know why he did it, and was just as surprised as she was as he slowly took his hand off of her. 

“No, I am… what I wanted to say before this got out of hand was that I have done some thinking on your proposition. I would like us to have discussions so that we may learn about each other.”

Y/N stood there in the same position that he grabbed her in mid-stride and blinked. “Well, we’re off to a spectacular start.”

“I apologize for outwardly expressing my doubt with you when you have not done anything to earn it, especially after your candor in approaching me. I do not trust easily.”

“I understand, but it’s still not an excuse to be so judgmental, Thorin. Or for saying hurtful things about me to your friends and family while I’m standing right there.”

“No, it is not,” he agreed. But he already apologized once and he wasn’t going to do it again, for Mahal’s sake. He had his pride, after all. “We have started on the wrong foot from day one, I would like it if we could try again and start anew. Let us set aside time for us to get to know one another moving forward.”

She stared dubiously at him but he watched as the hard lines in her face softened a bit. Eventually, her posture eased and she searched his eyes questioningly. “Is this your way of telling me that I can stay with you all? You're not kicking me out?”

“Would you like to start our talks today?” he asked, avoiding the question. The truth was, he didn’t know what he was going to do with her yet. And answering her “for now” would just provoke her temper. Something they seemed to have in common. Gods, how did this escalate so quickly and why was this so hard for him to do?

She rolled her lips in and quirked an eyebrow, studying him. But then she smiled and pointed her finger at him. “Fine. But a couple things I want you to know? I’m not a punching bag. Whenever you have a temper, do _ not _take it out on me.”

Thorin heaved a breath. He never was one to handle receiving demands well, but he could abide these conditions. “Very well.”

“And,” she continued, stepping closer. “If you have a problem with something I say or something I do, pull me aside and we’ll talk about it. I don’t wanna hear you mumbling about me being so burdensome and unwanted without knowing why.” 

Thorin inclined his head to accept.

“That is fair.” He held up a hand to stop her ranting before she could get too carried away; he would abide by her rules, but he’d be damned to let an otherworldly human maiden walk all over him especially when he yielded so much to her already. Decades of being walked over and looked down upon in Man's villages and towns had instilled a paper thin tolerance for the race that Thorin was not ready nor willing to cast aside. “We will meet in the evenings to discuss your visions and knowledge, and whatever else you are willing to divulge.”

She nodded and wagged her finger at him again. 

“But don’t get mad at me if there are certain things I have no answers to. I told you that I’ll tell you as much as I can and will always be 100% honest, but you can’t snap at me or insult me just because I don’t answer the way you want me to. Can you handle that?”

Thorin frowned and felt a surge of an indignant urge to end the ridiculous demands there, but he understood her point. If he ever wanted to get the information he needed, he would have to go by her standards and let her set the pace until he understood the situation better. But he couldn’t presently understand what all this secrecy was about... It seemed that not only was she going to need to earn his trust, but he would need to earn hers as well. In the end, all he could do was concede. 

“You have my word. We will be honest and open to the best of our ability.”

“Good, I'll remember that. Here’s to starting fresh,” she said and held out her hand. He looked at it puzzled before realizing that this was a form of bargain on their parts. He accepted her hand in his own and they shook on it. Thorin was still annoyed at how the events transpired, but at least this was some form of progress; a step in the right direction for both of them.

As they walked back from the clearing together in the direction of their rooms so Y/N could wash and change, Thorin was the first to break the silence. “So, what is this I hear about The Tale of Galavant? If I am not mistaken, there is also a song involved.”

Y/N gazed at him quizzically before understanding that he was trying to have an actual conversation. “You’ve heard about the Galavant story?”

“All of Rivendell has been informed of it since breakfast. According to Dwalin, I missed out on a great show last night.” He paused and smirked at her expression. “I did not know you were a singer.”

Y/N blushed and busied herself by tucking her hair behind her ears and smoothing out her clothing. “I’m not, I was tipsy and got roped into singing a song that ended up being Storytime With Y/N.”

“May I hear it?” he asked. At her mortified expression he let out a chuckle. “You found it fit enough to sing in front of the Company, surely my audience would be no different.”

Y/N looked unsure and and fiddled with her hands before she stopped walking. Thorin followed suit and waited for her to deny him.

“Promise not to laugh?” she asked with reddened cheeks that created a stark contrast to her complexion. 

"I will not laugh."

_Way back in days of old..._

* * * * *

And so, little by little, a sort of accord was struck between them. The events of Y/N's appearance and what she carried inside her arms remained a mystery to them for now. And for the moment, they cast aside their differences and enjoyed each other's company through Y/N's song and story about a dashing hero and evil king; chronicling the start of a twisty-turny adventure about romance, schemes, and redeeming reputations. They parted ways after Y/N gave him the inside scoop of the next part of the story she had yet to tell everyone else and he watched her bound up the steps before turning away. All of a sudden, he felt a stir in his chest and thought back to something his father once told him.

_It only takes one encounter to change your destiny._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seems like Fili might not exactly have entirely unrequited feelings after all! Thorin is trying to make an effort, but is having some issues with that big monkey on his back named Pride. He's still trying, though.


	11. Apples To Apples: Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At last! The truth has been revealed!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY FRIDAY, ALL!
> 
> Thanks for your patience, life has thrown me some nasty curve balls and I wasn't able to get this out nearly as early as I wanted. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has continued reading, given kudos, left comments, and/or bookmarked this story. I don't expect to receive any feedback and am having fun writing the story for the sake of the joy of writing, but as a writer, feedback is like ice cream to my writing drive, so to everybody who took the time to write their thoughts and comments, it means the world to me! I'm having a lot of fun writing this and I hope you all are enjoying how the story is unfolding. :)
> 
> As always, please excuse any errors found that were missed during editing.

Back in their room, after they had eaten and Fili bathed, the two Durin princes retreated back to their shared room to talk. 

“How long do you suppose we’ll really be staying here?” Kili asked, dangling his feet off of the large bed they were given while Fili braided back his hair and groomed his beard. There was a gentle, rhythmic thump as Kili’s feet made contact with the mattress from swinging his legs. 

Fili had decided earlier after eating that, although he really wasn’t that smelly, to go ahead and bathe anyway. They were severely reprimanded from utilizing Rivendell’s sacred fountain and were shown the “tubs” they were supposed to use henceforth during their stay. With a place as grandeur as this, Fili knew without a doubt that they had bathing pools, but given their huge offense, they were being made to wash in these silly things as punishment. Whether or not this was upon Lord Elrond's request or not, they had no idea, but the Elf who had explained the situation to them had seemed very cross. 

Granted, it was plenty large enough for him to fully submerge, but it wasn’t nearly as fun as the fountain. With its cascading waterfall and slides... Fili was sad he couldn’t get another good splash in, otherwise he would have taken advantage of that last bath.

“Thorin estimated that we’d only need three days, but it’ll all depend on when he or Gandalf tells us it’s time to go,” he answered. “Why? Are you missing our fair Elven hosts already?” Fili didn’t miss that hilarious slip-up at dinner their first night when his brother mistook an Elf for a She-Elf and was teased for it. He also didn't miss the lingering looks he'd given them after the fact. 

Kili flushed red and was almost too quick to defend himself, exposing his guilt at being so transparent but he quickly kicked up his chin in smug defiance. “No! I-I was just asking because it's nice here. And I’m not the only one with eyes for a lass, brother.”

“At least I didn’t mistake Y/N for a man, Kili,” he teased back. Kili had nothing to reply back with to one-up that remark. He pouted in defeat and threw Fili’s dirty pants at him in retaliation instead and harrumphed. 

“Yeah, go ahead and laugh. See if I help you get any more alone time with your lady love!” 

Fili stopped chuckling and shook his head. He remembered Kili’s very obvious ploy and knew that there would only be more to come. It’s not that he wasn’t grateful for it, because he was. But thinking on the fly wasn’t Kili’s strong suit, and it definitely showed last night when he failed to even think of a valid reason for having to turn back to leave them to their private time. 

Thank Mahal Y/N was drunk enough not to think much of it, but Fili wouldn’t always be so lucky, especially when they were all back on the road together. 

Fili decided to speak up about it. “While we’re on the subject, I appreciate what you did the other night but I wish you wouldn’t. I’m trying _ not _to be conspicuous around Y/N, remember?”

Kili met him with a devilish smirk. “Oh, I’ll make sure it isn’t conspicuous at all. Besides, you’ll need to get used to having a chaperone around for when you officially begin courting!”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, Kili.” 

That was a very old tradition among their people. Nowadays, nobody really followed them to the tee anymore. As long as the couple in question didn’t share a bed, display any of their affections in public, or got pregnant before the wedding, it wasn’t viewed as a slight premaritally to not have a chaperone. However, since Fili was of royal lineage, his family would be expected to uphold these ancient traditions for propriety's sake. Now would probably be the only time he could have alone time with Y/N without worry of any eyes on them. 

But Fili couldn’t suppress that hopeful gleam in his eyes at the thought. He still had no idea when would be the best time to approach her about his feelings, or even if he should. Nobody had any idea what would become of Y/N and where her place would be among them, but until they knew for sure, Fili decided to focus on the best case scenario: that she stayed with them until they reached Erebor. 

He thought back to all of their customs and rules—since he was male, it was customary that he make the initial approach, but first he wanted to woo her. Fili would have to aim for subtlety so as not to overtly make his intentions public so that the others didn’t catch on, but he hoped that his little gestures here and there might get him an in to win Y/N’s heart by the time he was ready to ask her to be his. It would be only a preview of all the love and devotion he would offer. Not to mention the kingdom and riches he could shower her with. It filled him with purpose to be able to provide his lass with the best of the best. 

Fili’s mind returned to earlier that morning, back to the cookies he left her, and how Y/N’s whole face lit up when she thanked him for them at breakfast. He still smiled every time he thought of it. 

“Of course,” Kili continued, settling back on his hands and swinging his legs with more pep. “As a fellow heir to the crown, I will have many, many duties to attend to which might coincide with my shift of watching over you both.” Kili paused with a smile, waiting for Fili to catch on. When he studiously didn’t comment, Kili added, “So, I might just happen to have a meeting I forgot to attend, or perhaps I’m suddenly called away for a very important consultation…”

Fili snorted at that and Kili kept going, heaping as much implication into his sentence as he could until Fili said something. “Who knows how long that could take! And Mahal forbid if I forgot something in my chambers and we all had to travel there together when I suddenly forgot something else in an entirely different room. Leaving you two there. Together. All alone—”

“Okay, Kili, I get it, you scoundrel!” Fili picked up the dirtied trousers and leaped over to whack him with it, with Kili holding his arms up to guard himself as he giggled and kicked at him. Fili chuckled and went back to the mirror to finish up presenting himself. 

“If Thorin knew what an awful job of a chaperone you’d make, he’d never appoint you.”

Kili frowned and scratched at his stubble from under his chin. “Hey, I’m on _ your _side! Besides, I’m sure I could talk sense into him. He usually caves when I’m insistent enough. No worries, brother, I won’t let you down!”

“How commendable of you. Insistent? I believe you mean ‘pest’,” Fili joked and his brother simply rolled his eyes with a smile. But Kili was right. He always had a knack for getting his way. Thorin always did have a soft spot for him, and for the longest time, Fili was quite jealous because he hadn’t the foggiest why Kili always seemed to get away with everything while he was the one who was reprimanded for any slips in behavior or misconduct. 

In the end, it was because Kili had no shame in pestering you for whatever it was he wanted and saying exactly what was on his mind without thinking first. He was relentless that way, but Fili had to admire the drive. And charm. 

He understood the real reason Thorin catered to Kili more: he was the younger of the two. And all through their lives, they were told how alike they were, so maybe Thorin felt more kinship with Kili than he did with Fili. Fili was more like their father, and Kili was like their mother and Thorin. But still… being the firstborn in the family and having your younger sibling heralded unofficially as “the favorite” still stung Fili with jealousy to this day. Not that he would ever tell a living soul that. 

Fili suddenly remembered Kili and Thorin watching from the sidelines as he and Y/N sparred. They were talking about something, but after being ushered away so quickly when they finished, he was too distracted to ask about it at the time. Fili smoothed some hair oil on his finished mustache and eyed his brother’s reflection.

“What did Thorin want to talk to Y/N about?” 

He saw Kili run his hands through his hair from the mirror. His brows were creased in thought and Fili grew worried, remembering how quickly Kili tried to usher them away. “I’m not sure. We talked a little bit about her but nothing that would suggest what he would suddenly need privacy for. Unless…”

Fili wheeled around so fast all of his braids whipped around to tap his face. He didn’t think for a moment that Kili had told him his secret, but there was a possibility that Thorin guessed and Kili validated his suspicions somehow. But then why didn’t Thorin ask to speak to him, too? Would he come searching for Fili next?

Kili sensed Fili’s rapidly growing worries and hastily waved his concerns away. “He still doesn’t know, don’t worry.”

“Mahal, Kee!” Fili sagged with relief and walked over to plop himself beside his brother, exhaling in a sharp breath. He really needed to get his emotions under control. He’d never struggled with keeping anything from Thorin before. And with something as significant as finding his One in a human lass from another world who has runes hidden into her arms, it threw in some messy complications on varying levels. 

“What did you two discuss about her exactly?” Fili probed, trying to formulate possible conclusions. 

“He still views Y/N as an ‘unnecessary distraction that will only make us soft' and I told him that he needs to have more faith in all of us.”

“Then they could be talking about anything,” he sighed. “Neither of them seemed to be in any mood to talk properly after we left. I’m surprised she didn’t cut me in half during training with how crude he was to her.” 

Kili squeezed Fili’s shoulder and shook him until he turned to meet his eyes. 

“He’s only training Y/N the same way he trained us. As brusque as Thorin is, I think it’s better that he’s going about it just as he would anybody else—he certainly spared _ us _ no expense when we made a mistake, and we’re his own _ kin_.” Kili said that with obvious distaste as he recalled a rather unpleasant session once upon a time, long ago. “Anyway, she knows how to hold her own and she’s got us to look after her,” he finished with a reassuring smile that Fili could only return halfway before his eyes dipped down to his feet. 

After another pat on the back, Kili hopped off and strode over to the mirror to comb his wild hair he couldn’t ever keep up with. 

He was right, though. Thorin would never intentionally train Y/N for failure. And, Fili thought as another curdle of hope bloomed in his chest. If Thorin saw fit to train Y/N for combat, perhaps he had plans to keep her with them for the quest! Why bother wasting his time teaching her how to battle if she wasn’t going to come with them and put it all to use? That was a very uplifting thought that eased him greatly. But then… what was it that he wanted to talk to her about—alone?

As if he was thinking the same thing, Kili said, “I figured that after our talk Thorin might have wanted to make amends, or try to understand her better.” He paused and looked over his shoulder at him. “I didn’t know this until Y/N told me, but she approached him to try and bridge that gap of mistrust he has with her. She offered a proposition to get together to talk and learn about each other; requested to know what she had to do to gain his trust, but he didn’t seem to have any inclination of doing so, especially after he chided you for kissing her hand.”

Fili had no idea.

His eyebrows lifted in surprise, meeting Kili’s stare in the reflection when he turned back around. Seeing as his hair never required anything further than a couple comb throughs, Kili was finished much quicker than Fili, so he leaned his back against the wall and played with his fringe. 

“She approaches him like that and he acts like a complete arse towards her in return and expects her to just take it? How in Durin’s name does _ that _help them form a bridge of understanding?”

Kili lifted his hands in submission even though he wasn’t the one he was exasperated towards.

“I’m on the same page there, brother."

“Did he even agree to her terms? Why would he...” Fili insisted, growing more frustrated. Kili frowned at his souring mood and approached him cautiously, but just as quick as the anger came, Fili sighed, expelling all the hostility that started to bubble in a whoosh. He stood to run a hand over his face and shook his head. 

“I suppose it doesn’t matter, does it?” he laughed dryly. “No use worrying over what we don’t know.”

Kili eyed his brother warily, sort of regretting he even brought it up in the first place. But he was also admittedly curious what the two of them were talking about with one another, however, Fili had come to the conclusion that he was no longer interested.

Fili started making his way out of the room but paused in the doorway to wait for Kili to come with. Kili bit his lip and followed behind him as he led them Mahal knew where. 

“Please tell me we aren’t heading their way…” Kili mumbled.

Fili scoffed. “No, I’ve had enough being angry at him for today over matters we are not meant to know about. Unless he wants us to get involved, or we come into the knowledge ourselves, I’m not going to think about this anymore. Let us focus on more pleasant things, aye?”

That was fine for Kili. Even though his brother was resigned to being in the dark, he decided to take it upon himself (as the curious Dwarf that he was) to find out what was going on, and whether or not the matter would require some butting in on his part. 

* * *

Y/N wasn't surprised when Gandalf had asked to have a word with her later that day after dinner. He’d been especially cryptic during their walk, but based on the time of day it was and the change in scenery of where they were going, she had a hunch. She also wasn't surprised when she and him joined Thorin, Balin, Bilbo, and Lord Elrond in his study. It was only a matter of time before they would all be rallied together. When they arrived in the room, only Balin and Bilbo seemed surprised to see her and Balin looked questionably to Thorin.

"Well, this is everybody then!" Gandalf announced in satisfaction. 

"Should have known this get together was your doing..." Thorin grumbled to himself just loud enough for them to hear. 

Gandalf huffed wistfully at him. "We all have questions that need answering, Thorin. I've no intention of wasting away a perfectly good opportunity while we’re here."

Elrond remained silent, looking between the arguing parties who continued with Thorin insisting they did not need help while Gandalf insisted otherwise. Y/N admitted to wanting some answers of her own while she was there and silently thanked Gandalf for taking the liberty to bring her forth in the first place. Elrond was so hard to find sometimes and she couldn’t very well approach him about this without asking Gandalf and Thorin. 

“Is it necessary for her to be here?” Balin joined in. 

“Y/N shall be present, too.” Thorin announced. “I want her here.” Which brought on surprise from not only Balin and Gandalf, but Y/N, herself. 

Balin pulled Thorin to the side to whisper in concern, “I meant, are you certain; in front of _ him _?” He canted his head towards the Elf lord, who ignored the slight with an amused grin.

“Yes, I am certain,” Thorin answered loud enough for them all to hear. He angled his head for Y/N to follow him when they began their departure. She hesitated just a moment, pausing to look between a sighing Balin and indifferent Elven Lord, and followed behind him as they drew further in the study.

Gandalf felt that they should discuss the mystery of their map first, whereas Thorin thought they were only going to be discussing Y/N. When Thorin proved to be difficult in handing over the map, Gandalf had enough.

“Save me from the stubbornness of Dwarves! Your pride will be your downfall… you stand here in the presence of one of the few in Middle Earth who can read that map. Show it to Lord Elrond!” he chastised. 

Elrond, still standing there silently reviewing the situation, turned his attention to Thorin and waited. Eventually, Thorin had all eyes on him, waiting for him to hand it over or deny the Elf from seeing something he held so sacred. Y/N knew this wasn’t easy for him. She remembered seeing the conflict in his eyes as he was forced to swallow his pride to see reason behind Gandalf’s words. After all, even Thorin had to admit that what good was having a map if you couldn’t read it? 

It was a leap of faith and sometimes you had to take it. 

Elrond was more than gracious with this artifact, handling it with care and reading it effortlessly in the moonlit reading room he led them to in order to translate the runes. Y/N stood beside Bilbo near the back, since she’s already seen how this played out numerous times in her dreams. As the three of them were deep in their discussion, she was mulling over the questions she wanted to bring up to Elrond. Why was she here? Who was the entity she saw? Was it possible for her to return home, ever?

Y/N waited until it was the right moment to intervene with her own questions, after the mystery of the map had been fully deciphered and the Dwarves hatched the next plan of action, when Gandalf beat her to it. 

“While we are here,” Gandalf interjected before the group departed, “There is something else I feel we need to bring to light. Something I have been theorizing.” 

Everyone looked to him expectantly as they waited for him to finish. He paused for dramatic effect, or perhaps to collect his thoughts, but Y/N had an inkling on what the next topic would be about based on the way he fixed his gaze on Thorin first and then to her and added, “I believe this will also require your area of expertise and skill.” 

Gradually, he had managed to thwart the attention from himself and all eyes were now fully on Y/N.

“You want me to tell him?” she asked Gandalf, but looked to Thorin first for approval. Thorin gave her a nod, letting her know it was okay. 

“That would be most wise,” Gandalf answered, giving her the floor. 

And so, Y/N retold the story of how she came to be in Middle Earth but this time explaining in much more detail. She made sure to include her encounter with the entity that has been following her, the vision she had, and made note of the recurring dreams of how she knows everyone and how long she’s had the dreams before she came to Middle Earth. Y/N still kept the full details of the outcome of her dreams to herself since she wasn’t sure what to make of them yet and felt that at this time, they weren’t pivotal bits of information they needed to know at the moment. 

Elrond listened with a thoughtful expression on his face, never once taking his eyes off of her as she spoke. When Y/N was finished, he pondered over the details in serious contemplation. 

“Very peculiar, indeed. There has been no evidence of this happening in any recorded history in our land before, I’m not sure what to make of it. Gandalf, you said you had a theory for this?”

The wizard gladly jumped in to add that he and Thorin had seen glowing runes etched into her arms the night that they found her out on Bilbo’s lawn and that drew in Elrond’s interest. Both of them wondered if it was linked to the map somehow, even though he was able to translate the instructions and they made no mention of it, or a woman being involved, for that matter. The two shared a knowing look that suggested they both were on the same wavelength about something, but Y/N felt very left out. Taking a gander around the room, it appeared everyone else was equally perplexed. 

“May I see your arms?” Elrond asked her. 

Y/N obliged, moving closer to him and rolling her sleeves up to her elbows to expose the bare flesh. Bilbo felt that this didn’t concern him, so he lingered back, stealing a few furtive glances over while the four of them leaned in anxiously to see if the runes would make a reappearance. When nothing was revealed, Balin made a sound of disappointment. He’d been most excited to see these markings since he first learned Thorin speak of their existence. Gandalf mumbled something under his breath and Thorin’s face was unreadable, though his eyes were still locked onto her skin as if he could will the runes into sight if he concentrated hard enough. 

Even though Y/N had yet to see them, she couldn’t help but feel like a failure when she had nothing to show. She couldn’t help but think that they were the sole key on whether or not she would stay with them and, more importantly, Y/N was certain they would reveal the reason why she was there at all. It was the true deciding factor upon which her traveling with the Dwarves was based on. Her only bargaining chip. As much as she wanted to believe in Thorin’s words, she knew that the fact that there were runes in her arms were the only reason in keeping her there. A part of her wasn’t sure if she even wanted them to be made known just on the chance that they might put him off or repel him. 

Again, that voice she heard in her dreams echoed in her mind,_“If you were offered the chance to save the line of Durin, would you?” _

The answer, of course, was yes. 

Elrond extended his hands to her, encouraging Y/N to allow him to examine her arms. He gingerly ran his smooth fingers along her forearm and hummed, his brows furrowed in determination to seek out these mysteries. 

“And you are certain you saw these runes, Gandalf?” Elrond asked him, still looking over her arm.

“Yes, I did.”

“And so have I,” Thorin added confidently. “It was only for a moment, but they were there.”

“And they have yet to make a reappearance. The markings only showed themselves that one night but it was far too fleeting,” Gandalf frowned. “I know that we will have more answers to our questions if we know what they read.”

Elrond nodded in thought after releasing her arm from his hold. His eyes ran over the map he just translated before his eyes lit up. 

“Ah, perhaps that’s it; this may yet be another fortuitous act of fate. Y/N, come over to the light here.” He beckoned her over to where the moonbeams were, away from the shadow she was currently standing in. Almost immediately, glowing blue marks began to shimmer and illuminate under her skin, causing her to gasp in shock. They looked very similar to the marking Gandalf etched onto Bilbo’s front door, only she did not recognize these symbols. 

Balin uttered something in a foreign language with a shaking breath and Thorin all but lunged forward to press himself closer to her arms to see. Y/N stared at them, mesmerized.

“These are not like the moon runes from the map,” Elrond exclaimed. “These markings can appear under the light of any moon. I would advise you take great care in concealing them from prying eyes from now on.”

“What do they read?” Thorin demanded Elrond in a whisper. 

There was a sense of urgency in his voice that bordered on desperate and Y/N didn’t know what to make of it all, still unknowing what they read. She was very aware of how hard her heart was beating and it had made her arms begin to shake as she held them out over the crystal pedestal. She looked over at Gandalf in hopes to gain a clue in this crushing silence that drifted but he appeared every bit bewildered by the whole thing. Something that Y/N did not find reassuring in the slightest. Could he understand them? Were they good or bad? Nobody seemed capable of speech to enlighten her just what exactly it was she was advertising on her skin. 

Elrond was taken aback for a moment, his calm composure melting into shock. Y/N wished he’d just get on with it already, she couldn’t take the suspense anymore. The runes were written vertically on both sides. He indicated to her left arm, “These read, ‘Guardian of the Durin line’,” then to the right arm, “and this here is ‘Savior’. The symbols below the words, combined, make the mark of Aulë—Aulë's Hammer.”

“Well, this explains why we were unable to see the markings. We needed proper moonlight not obscured by clouds or shadow!” Gandalf tutted to himself, as if he were a fool to have missed such an obvious detail. 

Balin attempted to speak, his voice cracking in the process. He cleared his throat and tried again, “What-what does this mean?”

“It means, Master Dwarf,” Elrond answered, keeping his eyes fixed on Y/N. “That Aulë has selected Y/N for a very special purpose to aid you on your journey. There has never been a time when the Valar intervened in our realm’s affairs like this. As such, this is not a matter to take lightly. Fate is indeed with you, Thorin Oakenshield, as are the Valar's blessings.”

Balin and Thorin exchanged identical looks of surprise and in unison shifted their attention to Y/N. As Thorin approached her, Balin bowed his head to whisper a reverent-sounding, heartfelt prayer. 

Thorin reached his hand out to her, his wide palm facing up. “May I?” he asked. She lowered her arm to him, the runes still glowing as soft as the moonlight that revealed them. 

Thorin’s fingers grazed along the blue runes, tracing over every character with the calloused pads of his fingers. He said nothing at all. But no words were needed to explain what he was feeling at that moment. When Y/N looked into his eyes, he had tears in them.

* * * * *

As a direct line from one of the first Dwarven clans to have been created into existence, Thorin was a naturally religious, superstitious fellow but believed that in order to make your future and dreams happen, you still had to put in the hard work to make your own luck. But he’d been raised to believe in distinct omens and signs of both ill-will and good, and had attributed them as the workings of their Maker bestowing his blessing. A Maker that, even though he no longer walked the earth, was always there watching over his creation, offering aid when prayed to, answering only when he deemed fit. 

This appeared to be one of those occasions. 

The last prayer Thorin had sent to Mahal was back at the Shire. Back when he was certain that the Hobbit would not be joining them as their burglar. Back when he was ambivalent towards the outcome of their quest hoping against hope that he wasn’t in over his head and leading his people to death all because he wanted to take a chance—his only chance—to give his people back what they were owed. 

It would appear that his Maker was listening and had sent him an answer in the form of a human woman from another land. This raised additional questions in his mind, but at the present moment, Thorin could only focus on this living breathing miracle standing before him. Y/N was… a gift from a god. _ His _gift. There was no greater blessing that he could ever hope to receive.

Thorin was rendered speechless with tears of joy filling his eyes. 

“I… I don’t understand…” Y/N stammered, slipping free of his tender hold to fold her arms against herself. This was obviously a lot for her to process, and no doubt she hadn’t the foggiest who Mahal was or how very miraculous this circumstance was for all of them. Thorin wanted to look at the markings again, still shocked that they did indeed exist, but refrained. He did not want to overwhelm her.

“Who’s Aulë? And why did he choose me?” she asked Elrond.

“Aulë, Mahal, as Dwarves refer to him in their native tongue, is the creator of Dwarves. He has the power to create and smith fine work, and has built Middle Earth's mountains and forged our lands. If I recall correctly, I have read from ancient Dwarven tomes that he can bless people with dreams and visions; another craft he was proud to be given praise for. Not very many on this realm are susceptible to receiving them. As for why you personally were selected for his task and sent here to see it through from another land, I’m afraid I cannot answer that. Gods always have worked in mysterious ways,” he concluded with a kind smile.

Indeed, Thorin thought. It would appear that Kili’s view was correct after all. Y/N was his blessing from the Valar. As the gravity of the situation continued to settle upon them, Thorin’s mind was already stampeding forward for the future with all that he learned from the map and how Y/N fit into all of this. But first things first, they had to get a move on. At first light. 

Invigorated with such happy news, Thorin’s spirit was lifted and his heart felt lighter than it had in centuries. Y/N continued to talk with Elrond, with Bilbo hopping in with some questions of his own, while Thorin’s mind sharpened into focus. He had half a mind to keep this find to himself and not tell the Company. 

But Balin seemed to have a different view that made more sense. 

“By my beard! We should tell the lads about this. They could use a solid pick me up and more importantly, we need to discuss the matter of keeping her safe with us through our journeys. She may be a gift from Mahal, but she’s still a human.”

Thorin hummed and nodded. Yes, humans were especially fragile beings. They weren’t built with strong bones and thick skin like Dwarves were, so Thorin would need to take extra special care in Y/N’s regard. It was still a burdensome task, but he would bear it with pride. He cast a quick smile up at the ceiling for Mahal, silently thanking him for his gift; promising he would do all in his power to protect her. 

Afterward, when Thorin, Balin, Bilbo, and Y/N broke away from the meeting, Thorin assembled his men to tell them of this wondrous news. When he did, he couldn’t keep his smile off of his face. 

* * * * *

In the flurry of activity that followed, Y/N was only dimly aware of what was going on outside of the insane scrambled matter that was inside her head. As if she wasn’t enough of a celebrity as it was, now she was heralded as a god given gift. Literally. Thorin did not want anyone outside of his Company to know of this newly attained knowledge and he strictly prohibited anyone from saying a single thing about it, even to the Elves, with the exception of Lord Elrond, Bilbo, and Gandalf, since they were present when this knowledge was obtained. And the moment he told them about this, she hadn’t had a quiet moment to herself to properly collect her thoughts.

It wasn’t that she didn’t understand their excitement, but she still had so many questions about this whole thing and nobody she could ask for answers. Elrond wasn’t able to help her in terms of who the entity was that she kept seeing, nor could he confirm how she was supposed to go back home. He could only presume that whatever force and great magic had brought her may very well be the same to return her.

There was no time to elaborate on that further, because he and Gandalf had some place they needed to be, thus providing a prompt ending to any concerns and questions Y/N had still wished to ask about. It was strange…

Y/N thought that if she learned what she was put here to do, she’d feel more at ease about everything. But instead, she only felt troubled. Sure, the runes in her arms suggested she was the Guardian and Savior of the Durin line, but it didn’t exactly reveal how she was supposed to do that. Unless it was why she’d been having the dreams in the first place… and the vision… 

Everyone else seemed excited about this anomaly, but Y/N couldn’t find it in her to join in their cheer. She was still too focused on the fact that she might never see her home again. And that there were bits of dark clouds in her memory that robbed her of seeing the full picture. She knew there was more to this than what Elrond discovered from the runes, but she feared that she’d never have answers.

But despite all that, it was a comfort knowing where she stood among the group now. Thorin had made it abundantly clear that Y/N was to remain by their side for the quest, but Y/N couldn’t stop thinking about what would happen after. Would she live with them? Be beamed back home by the same force that brought her here? Could she ever return to her home once everything was said and done? If not then… where was she supposed to end up?

After a hearty last meal and a round of drinks to commemorate this enlightening occasion, Thorin announced that they were to leave at first light and whoever overslept would be left behind, and Y/N knew there was no way she would be able to sleep peacefully before that trek. No doubt someone would be coming to wake her since she was pivotal to them, but then again, who knew. After tossing and turning in bed had proved to be the extent of her “getting comfortable” she decided to walk around. In all honesty, she was hoping to run into Elrond and ask him some more of her questions to ease her mind some. She wouldn’t have the chance to again.

But after walking up and down the halls, Y/N was granted the solitude she had been seeking earlier while everyone else was sleeping soundly without care.

Lucky bastards.

She managed to find her way back to Lindir’s balcony. His birds were nowhere to be found, they were all slumbering away with no worry of any great purpose randomly decided through divine intervention. No concern for never seeing their family again. 

All at once, Y/N was overwhelmed by the severity of the situation she was in, reminding herself once more that this was not a dream. She was here in a foreign land on a dangerous quest with a gruesome outcome. All because “the god of Dwarves” had, for some reason, deemed her worthy to be a savior and guardian. For the first time since she arrived, she had herself a good, proper cry about what happened to her. And once she started, there appeared to be no sign of stopping until all her tears were out. 

Y/N mourned her family and friends as if she knew that she would never see them again. She mourned for the life she was taken from that she may never return to. She cried until she had no tears left and even then, it would be hours before first light before she could freshen herself enough to face the others. 

As she sniffled and wiped at her eyes with her sleeves, she turned her sight to the vast blackness spread before her and listened to the sounds of chirping insects and the wind whistling through the trees. In any other situation, this would be peaceful. Instead, it only exacerbated her loneliness. 

“What happened to have brought you to tears so late at night?”

Y/N wheeled around, startled in that same spot for the second time at the stranger that joined her on the balcony. Being that it was so late at night, Y/N was sure she would have her privacy, but she was not prepared for who would ultimately join her there.

* * * * *

Fili sighed. He couldn’t sleep. There were just too many shocking revelations happening in Rivendell to grant him any blissful slumbers. He couldn’t believe Kili was right. It really did seem that Mahal had plucked Y/N out of her own land and handed her to him as a sign of a good omen for their quest.

It filled him with such a giddy sense of delight that he had been all smiles until after their celebration feast when he was really able to sit—well, lay down—and think about it.

He had been so surprised to learn this and the urge to protect her, knowing Y/N had to have at some point met the Maker himself, had risen to a staggering height. Fili had always felt that she was special to him, but he had no idea just how special Y/N would ultimately be to the lot of them as a whole. Was it a coincidence that she was also his One, or was this all part of Mahal’s greater plan for them?

Mahal had chosen Y/N as their Savior and Guardian, gifting her with the dreams and visions she had been subject to in order to aid them on their quest. Fili had grown up hearing the tales of their creator and all his glory, mercy, and wonder that have been passed down his family line since the first seven of the clans. He didn’t know Mahal could gift people with dreams, but if anything Balin said was any truth to go by, Y/N was given the greatest of honors. But still he couldn’t help but frown. Thus far, her dreams had been nothing but nightmares and her visions had caused her great pain.

Would his Maker be so cruel as to cause her such anguish with these gifts, or was that a price to pay to balance out the blessing of having them? He wished he could shoulder the pain for her, or at the very least be a form of comfort to the lass...

As much as he wanted to believe that this was all for the good of the quest, he couldn’t help but worry that that was a bit much for her to endure on her own. Why should Y/N be forced to suffer from these “gifts” when she had already done so just by abandoning her life to come here? She still had no memory of what happened and was about as open as a bound book when it came to what she had been dreaming about. Fili just wanted to help… but it seemed as though she didn’t trust him even after he’d promised to care for her. And that stung a little, if he were to be honest. But he respected Y/N’s privacy with the hope that she might one day feel free to open up to him. And for that to happen, he was willing to do whatever it took to prove to her that she could rely on him for anything.

A part of him wondered if she’d divulged any details to Thorin. It’s not like he had any business in asking, but the two seemed so chummy now that the runes could be seen. Fili tried not to dwell too much on that. After all, his promise to his uncle was still valid; Y/N was still _ his _responsibility. Learning who she was wouldn’t change that or commandeer his duties to someone else. 

Right…?

Fili sighed to himself and shook his head to clear the shred of jealousy that was beginning to form in his chest just at the thought of someone else taking over… like Thorin. It was a chore convincing himself that that was not likely to happen and tried to focus on other things, until he thought of the nightmares Y/N had been having. 

What were you dreaming of that caused you such woe? he thought to her in the darkness as he recalled with an unpleasant shiver how she had screamed his name with such terror in her voice. A sudden snort snapped Fili back into the the now. He smirked as he looked over to his left. Kili laid sprawled out beside him sawing logs and Fili wondered how he could possibly sleep so deeply at a time like this, after being told what they had just learned hours ago from Thorin. But then again, drowning yourself in spirits tended to do that to a young dwarrow. Hopefully he didn’t have a hangover the next morning, Kili tended to be extra clingy in that state and would be a handful to handle.

As his mind and ears once again grew accustomed to the white noise of his sleeping brother, Fili remembered that look in Thorin’s eyes when he told them, “Y/N is a gift from Mahal!” As if she were his prized possession while the poor lass stood there dazed and shocked. And then they all shared some backslaps and toasts to offer their acknowledgement and gratitude for Mahal’s blessing. It was an innocent enough statement, but something about it and the look in Thorin's face had made him uneasy. But given how happy he was, Fili decided to shake it off as nothing. 

Y/N had not partook or indulged in the drinking, and not because she vowed not to after last night’s debacle, but because she seemed distant and detached thinking about something that was troubling her. What came as great news for them did not seem to pass through to her. Or maybe there was more to it than they knew.

Fili had tried to get her to open up when they a moment away from the group, and tried to steal a smile from her, or a laugh, but received only forced polite smiles and false reassurances that she was fine and he should enjoy himself with the others; not to worry about her. But that was all he ever did. And, he thought with a sigh. All he’d ever do.

Fili took a deep breath and lifted his hand in the air to regard his pinky. He had sworn to protect her from harm, from both her dreams and for anyone who dared have the mind to hurt her. But now that she was a sacred symbol of sorts, he wondered if she might need protecting from the others. Already they were clamoring for her attention and company. Well, more so than usual. 

Dwarves coveted precious things, it was just in their nature. It couldn’t be helped. But Fili loved her first. The more he looked at his pinky and remembered the promises he made, the more resolved he became. This was just a passing phase for them; once the novelty of who Y/N was worn off, everything will be as it was. And if not? Fili was a fighter. He would not lose to anyone and he would fight for her until he knew where he stood. 

He was not going to give up. She needed him now more than ever and he was more than happy to oblige.

* * * * *

“What’re you doing up at this hour?” Y/N retorted, fruitlessly wiping her cheeks to erase the evidence of her crying as if it wasn’t already obvious. She hoped nobody heard her, she’d tried to keep as quiet as she could.

“Haven’t been a sound sleeper in some time. Walking helps me.”

Balin’s smile was kind as he said that. With his hands clasped behind his back, he approached her at the railing and that was when she realized she must have looked just as bad as she felt because saw worry laced in his eyes. She quickly averted her gaze and had to take a couple breaths through her mouth since her nose was still a bit stuffed up.

“I hope I’m not being too presumptuous, lass, but I hope you know that if there’s something bothering you, the lads and myself are more than happy to listen. And if you want your solitude, just say the word and I’ll leave you be.” 

Her lip began to tremble and she swallowed the lump in her throat. “I just feel so stupid for crying like this. After everything that happened…” She waved her arm around demonstratively and let the sentence drift, not knowing how to finish it. For truth, she was long overdue a good cry, and she felt that she warranted one, but as far as personal breakdowns go, they were more effective when they happened alone. And even though apologizing for such things was silly, she couldn’t help but say it. Y/N didn’t expect to have an audience any more than she expected to burst out in tears. 

Balin seemed to understand and he showed no signs of judgement or annoyance in what she suddenly thought to be a childish moment of weakness, which helped. He said, “There’s no reason to apologize for crying. Tears are just a way of expressing our heart’s honest emotions when words are unable to explain properly. If it’s my judgement you want, you won’t find it here. I sure have had my fair share of a good cry in my years; it's just important to remember to rebuild when you breakdown.”

The earnestness of his words, or perhaps the gentle way that he said them, had caused Y/N to rapidly tearing up anew with a fresh bout of tears. Unable to stop herself, she all but threw her arms around the old Dwarf, dipping down and clinging to him as she cried quietly into his beard. Craving the comforts of physical touch and the power that could be found in a simple hug. 

Balin didn’t stiffen or push her away. He just patted her back, whispering steady, sincere “there, there’s” and letting her get it all out. 

“I miss my home,” she blurted wetly. “I miss my mom and my dad, my sister. What if…” she hiccuped back a sob. “I know that I’m supposed to help you guys and all, but what about after that? What if I never see them again? What am I supposed to do if I can’t get back home?”

As her shoulders quaked and her muffled cries had well-stained his poor beard by now, Balin didn’t falter and continued muttering calming words of reassurance. 

“We’ll take it one day at a time. I can’t imagine what this has been like for ya being torn away from your world, but… in a way, we all share a kinship with one another in that we’ve both lost our homes. But since you’re helping us to reclaim ours, I see no reason why we cannot help you get back to yours.” He pulled away to regard her with another smile and to give her a moment to catch her breath. 

And now that the moment had passed, Y/N felt well and truly embarrassed by her reddened face and wet cheeks. She stared guiltily at his disheveled beard. 

“But what if you can’t?” she whispered. 

Balin sighed and helped Y/N to her feet. “Mahal had a plan for you, there’s still a chance that he’d see to it that yer brought safely back to your world once we see it through. But yer among friends now, Y/N. No matter what happens, we’ll make sure yer well taken care of.”

"Thanks, Balin. I really appreciate that, I feel so lost..." she laughed weakly, giving her eyes another quick pat with the edges of her sleeves. 

"All things lost are bound to return to where they're meant to be."

Now Y/N let out a sincere laugh as Balin stood there looking pleased with himself to have helped her in some way. "Your sagely wisdom rivals even Gandalf's. Are you sure you're not really a wizard?" she asked playfully. 

Balin merely chuckled and winked in response but said nothing more. His eyes roamed her face, searching for any hint of doubt or worry to return. When none could be found and Y/N let out a large yawn, Balin gave her arm an affectionate pat. "Best get some sleep, lass. We have a long journey ahead of us in the morning. And don't worry, everything will be all right."

Y/N bid him goodnight and retreated back to her room feeling lighter in spirit but heavy in heart. No, she thought to herself. Everything won't be all right... not if I can't save them... She passed by beautiful columns and gardens on her way to her room, and she wanted to take the time to properly commit them to memory, but her mind was still troubled by the events of the day. Her thoughts pulled her back to that nightmare that was still so fresh in her mind even though she had dreamed of it a thousand times over. She glanced down at her arms and wondered why she of all people were picked to save a royal Dwarven lineage from the clutches of a monster. 

All of Rivendell were fast asleep from the Elves, the guests, to the creatures.

Y/N encountered no other persons walking around at night on her way back, hearing only the rushing water of the waterfalls that surrounded this peaceful valley and slipped into her bed with fatigue hanging heavily over her like a blanket. It was nice to have sleep come easily to her now that the crying she did tired enough so she could finally join the others in their sleep escapades. But further down the hall and just around the corner, a certain blonde Dwarf was still awake and deep in thought. As Y/N drifted off, Fili wished her nothing but peaceful slumbers filled with all the love and happiness she deserved, and wondered when the day would come for when he could provide that to her on his own. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to watch The Hobbit to see how true I'm keeping to the characters and storyline and... welp. Forgot that the map reading happened before the group's big camp out from the last chapter, so for the sake of my memory being horrid and story convenience... deal with it ;D


	12. On The Road Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There’s been interest for the main character to be given a name rather than continuing with the reader insert -- I’ll go with the general consensus but what are your thoughts on this? Before I wrote this story, I had a mind to create an OC but decided upon a reader insert instead. Of course, I'm very willing to go back and update the last few chapters with the new name to maintain continuity, if that ends up being the decision. Let me know your thoughts and as always, keep being awesome and enjoy the story!
> 
> (Annnd excuse any mistakes I might have missed during editing.)

“Miss it already?” Y/N asked Bilbo, who kept leaving longing glances back behind them as the beautiful valley of Rivendell began to shrink further and further from view. He wasn't quite ready to leave just yet, but when Thorin said they'd be leaving at first light, Bilbo made sure he was ready well before they were because he knew, esteemed burglar or not, they'd move on without him. Dwalin marched down their hall only once barking at them to get up and anyone who wasn't up and at 'em would be left behind. 

“Yes, I should like to come back someday,” Bilbo answered softly.

But he wasn’t sure if he would. Not because he’d change his mind, but because Bilbo was still uncertain as to whether or not he’d still be alive by the end of the quest to plan any future traveling. He had a mind to ask Y/N about his particular outcome in this excursion. No doubt she’d already know. But as liberating as it may have sounded to know the exact day of your death, Bilbo was but one of many who preferred not to know. Nobody else in the Company seemed too keen on asking about those gory details from her, either. Sometimes, it was best to let fate continue on its own course and enjoy your life while you had it. 

“You will,” Y/N replied readily, before being called away by Thorin to join him up ahead the trail. 

Even though he was resigned to letting whatever happen happen and deal with trouble as it came, Bilbo felt a flutter of relief at those words as he watched her scamper away. It was enough of an alleviation for him to ignore the condescending tone in Thorin’s voice for admonishing him for his lingering behind and not keeping up. Bilbo had no idea if Y/N knew when his final day would be, but the Hobbit took comfort in the hope that her being here brought. Ever since she told him about the trolls he had every intention of trusting her judgement. In fact, he trusted the lady far more than he trusted Thorin. He greatly admired him, sure. But he didn't quite trust him yet. Then again, Y/N was far nicer to him than that brute was, and even though she tested his manners at times with her forwardness and teasing, it was never done through malice or lack of faith. And Bilbo greatly appreciated that.

He was enjoying his adventure as best he could and though he most liked seeing Rivendell in person, it didn’t make him miss home any less, however. But as much as he yearned for his books, his garden, and even his pesky, nosy neighbors, Bilbo couldn’t imagine how Y/N must feel.

* * * * *

“Bofur, for the last time, you don’t need to apologize! I wouldn't have even noticed even if I wasn't tipsy!” 

Bofur sheepishly waved that away and insisted otherwise, but agreed he wouldn’t mention it again. He admittedly apologized for his offense at least three times, but he only wanted Y/N to know that he was being sincere. Bofur felt awful at the thought that she might have found him untoward in getting her to stay with them at camp after they had been drinking when he only wanted to know what more happened in her Galavant story. His mouth was always much quicker than his head which had served to both save his arse and gotten him into trouble. Either or varying on occasion and person. 

“What’d you do now?” Fili inquired playfully from behind them. Bofur feigned hurt with demonstrative movement, stealing a giggle from Y/N in the process as he hoped he would. Ah, he should have known there’d be a pair of ears listening in.

Wherever the lass was, Fili and Kili were never far behind; stuck to her like glue, they were. Bofur thought it was adorable, actually, and somehow the three of them just seemed to fit really well. Particularly Fili. And with the whole her being Mahal’s blessing and such, Thorin was rarely ever out of her reach, either. Even now Bofur watched as the king would occasionally look over his shoulder to make sure she was still there within his view. 

“Och, lad, I haven’t done a thing!” he responded to the blonde, casually stepping aside so Fili could take his place beside her, as he figured that was where the lad was trying to get at. He wasted no time filling in the space and Bofur looked around for Kili, expecting to see him sidle up to Y/N's other side, but the lad was at the back talking with Bilbo.

“He really didn’t,” Y/N helpfully assured him when Fili looked to her for an opinion. Bofur didn’t hold Fili’s suspicion against him because his earlier actions were unbecoming, especially for a lady of her stature. But he apologized thrice now, so as far as Bofur was concerned, all was well no matter what anyone said. He may have had a tendency to shove his foot in his mouth but that didn't mean he enjoyed the taste of it.

Not wanting to exclude the other more unprepared member of their group, Bofur checked behind him and saw that Bilbo was safely locked in front of Kili and behind Gloin. Satisfied that all was well with his friends, Bofur altered his focus and huffed at the change of incline. His calve muscles were on fire and from the sounds everyone else was making, they weren't having the best go of their climb either. In fact, the only person who didn't seem tired was the Hobbit. Go figure.

On the incessant incline, Y/N had grunted out some interesting things about no longer needing a "stair master", which Bofur found a bit odd and intriguing. Why would her world require a master of stairs? Was there an expert stair maker or someone who assisted folks up and down the elevations of their land? Who knows. Then there was huffing and puffing about not spending enough time on... ellipses? E-llip-ti-cal something or others? Made no sense to anyone but her and Bofur was too winded to carry on a conversation to ask about it. It was a chore just to climb. 

As the path finally leveled but narrowed further, it had everyone walking in pairs or singles to safely trek through and avoid the massive drop off at their right. The view was gorgeous from their current height to be sure, but nobody wanted to venture any closer than needed or lose their focus. Bofur remained behind Y/N and Fili, lifting his head up every now and again to see if the path would be expanding any time soon. He observed as the lad made sure the lass was veered towards the wall of the cliff they were walking on with him being on the outside. He had his hand ghosting over her arm to keep her close to the wall and away from danger in case she walked too close and needed to be pushed away to safety.

"You all right?" he heard him ask. 

"Yeah. Geez, this is workout, huh?" she panted back. "How are you not out of breath?"

"I control my breathing. Here, I'll show you."

Always taking care of her, that one. Then again, she _ was _ a female, Bofur would have done the same thing; tended to happen to a dwarrow when your race was devoid of a steady female population; they were as precious as rain in a drought. But Y/N was also quite independent and didn’t necessarily need this level of coddling. She didn't behave the same way the lassies do in these parts, and even though they were out in the middle of nowhere where danger lurked at every turn, she hasn't once cowered behind any of them like a frightened lamb or up and fainted. Sure, she dropped like a sack of stones when she had her vision, but that was it; hardly anything to fault her for. Maybe her being so naive to the ways of the land had brought this on. Or maybe her Seers ability had wiped away any surprises for her. But Fili had been there for her even then. Since day one, to be exact. It was reminiscent of how doting Dori was to Ori, which made sense because Ori was a little brother with a loving older brother. Just as Kili was Fili’s. But Y/N was a human from another land and Fili had been by her side well before they all learned what a gift she literally was.

Bofur frowned as the wheels started turning and replayed back the past few weeks up to Rivendell to pick apart any unusual behavior he might have overlooked. He wasn’t as close to Fili and Kili as Dwalin and Balin were, but Bofur had met them a few times in the Blue Mountains to gain a sense of their characters. He may talk a lot, but Bofur prided himself in his observation abilities. That’s how he always found so much to talk about, after all. And with his keen observation, Fili paid as much attention to Y/N as he did his own brother. Now, why was that? Bofur wondered.

Come to think of it, the lad was a bit uptight that night when they all had been drinking. Okay, perhaps "uptight" wasn't quite the word... "protective" was more like it. Bofur quirked an eyebrow as a silly thought bloomed in his mind and glanced at the two of them murmuring among themselves a pace or two in front of him. If he didn’t know any better, it almost seemed as if…

Just then, when the pathway started to become more forgiving in space and Thorin announced that the trail was safe again, the lad delved into one of his many mysterious coat pockets and handed over a small satchel to Y/N. She seemed to know what it was before she even opened the thing and Bofur watched on with a special twinkle in his eye as she excitedly shared its contents with Fili with a beaming grin. 

It was hard to get a proper look from his current position but he quickly figured out what was in that pouch.

The lad had taken some sweets back with him from Rivendell and gifted them to her. Secretly. Bofur was the only one who saw the exchange between them; how Y/N’s hand offered Fili the cookie and the certain way their fingers brushed together when he broke off his half of it. Bofur also noticed the lingering smile Fili had given her that she did not see when he watched her eat. 

“Well, would ye look at that...” Bofur said to himself. Ori, who had been slowly creeping up the line behind him had just caught up to Bofur in the lineup and looked to him questioningly, assuming he was speaking to him. But Bofur intended to keep his mouth shut about this, just on the chance he was mistaking the whole thing. For all he knew, Fili saw Y/N as nothing more than a sister at best, which was why she was given the same time and care as Kili. But something about that smile of his suggested otherwise to Bofur. Then again, he himself was always a hopeless romantic at heart, seeing love when there was none. 

“Bofur? Did you say something?” From the sound of it, this wasn't the first time Ori asked. 

“Hm? Nothin’, lad. Just talkin’ to myself is all.”

Oh, this is interestin’. Quite interestin’, indeed, Bofur thought with bubbling delight. Something told him that this quest was about to become much more intriguing than he thought.

* * *

After the hasty retreat from Rivendell, the next few weeks passed by in a blur. 

Many things have changed, improved, and evolved in Y/N’s relationship with the Company during this time; they had all become a sort of family to her. Naturally, she still missed home and her real family and friends, and all of her world’s modern conveniences, but the Dwarves and the Hobbit were by her side to help her through her hardship and struggles with adapting to her new life. It was still a question in anyone’s mind as to whether or not it was a permanent change in residency.

Ori showed her basic knitting techniques, Bombur explained which herbs were safe to cook with and which weren't, Dwalin, Kili and Fili continued to train her in the ways of the sword, and the others had given her nifty tips and tricks for mending wounds, reinforcing and patching up clothing, and the like. 

But the most noticeable of all the changes was that between Y/N and Thorin. 

As if seeing the runes with his own eyes had finally cleared the clouds of doubt from his mind, his disposition had drastically altered towards her. Or maybe their confrontation in Rivendell had finally clicked something into place. For the first few nights after they left, and in the safety of camp, Thorin would ask to see the runes again. He’d make up excuses as to why he needed to see them, but it was more so to convince himself that he _did_ see them. That they were really there, he hadn't imagined it or dreamed it up. Thorin was almost an entirely different Dwarf from the one she met. And he seemed keen on eradicating the first impression he had given her.

Considering the hell it took to finally reach this point, Y/N was happy to finally be deemed worthy in Thorin’s eyes. Just as wise old Balin said, Thorin _ was _easy to talk to, once he warmed up and accepted somebody. Y/N’s visions have all proved true, and once he saw the runes in her arms that Lord Elrond translated, she had thus hoped to have finally gained Thorin’s full confidence and trust.

It became a common routine for them to meet for evening discussions. It didn’t happen every night, but they were frequent enough that the Company knew better than to interrupt. Especially upon noticing how uplifted Thorin’s moods were as a result of their talks, earning her the hushed title of the “King Whisperer”. At first, their talks were strictly business-related to briefly discuss the details of the visions she’s had, or a divulging of her “Seers Knowledge” that would be coming to pass shortly. But Thorin no longer questioned her or scorned her out loud for keeping details to herself anymore just as he promised. Occasionally they would each ask a personal question or two to become better acquainted and it helped to ease the tension between them. These talks lasted at first a few minutes or so. But gradually over time, they evolved into hour-long discussions about a variety of topics. 

So yes, there were many changes among the group.

The second most monumental development was one that gave Y/N great surprise: her growing feelings for Fili. She became accustomed to the uncrowned prince’s company; he lingered especially close to her ever since they left Rivendell and was first to her side whenever her visions, or nightmares, hit. She welcomed his companionship, enjoying how their bond grew deeper at each passing day and how sometimes, when he wasn’t on watch duty, how long they would talk into the night about anything and everything. If she were to be honest, she had begun noticing things about Fili that she never gave much thought on before. 

Like how brightly his golden hair could shine when hit with the rays of the setting sun just right, or how his eyes would twinkle with impish delight at the dawn of an oncoming tease in the making, when he smiled especially big that his dimples showed, or how he was always finding ways to touch her; be that using his knee when sitting beside her, or grazing fingers when he gave her the supper bowl, when he would nudge her playfully with his shoulder. More and more often, Y/N had begun craving the Fili’s fleeting touches. They had developed a habit of doing that, as he seemed to take deliberate notice of his actions. But whether or not the actions were innocent or intentional were a mystery to her since they no longer hugged and he hasn't kissed her hand since back at the troll hoard. But man... did she miss it. 

Y/N was no stranger when it came to love, as she had many love interests and just a couple boyfriends in her own world during her time, but Fili was so wonderfully different from any man she'd ever known. She wasn’t entirely sure what to do. She wasn’t sure how people handled things like this here, or if there was a proper “Dwarven way” to go about showing someone you were interested. Her first immediate thought upon this discovery was that there sure as shit was no way Fili felt the same!

“Right?” She wasn’t sure who she was trying to convince. Although… there were times when she would wonder if all the lingering looks, unnecessary touching, and amount of care he put into her amounted to more than his duty to protect “Mahal’s blessing”. He was hard to figure out and it was way too awkward to ask him about it, let alone if he was interested in anyone or had a lady waiting for him back at home. And she couldn’t confide in Kili. The imp would surely blab to Fili about it or relentlessly tease her and she could really use some advice. These feelings weren’t just going to go away because she knew that they were deeper than just a crush.

And forget about Thorin. 

No way in hell she was opening _ that _can of worms. No, she would continue treating Fili the same as she had been from the start and see how the natural course of things went. They were pretty playful and close, after all, so he may not be entirely averse to the idea of dating. But still… just because someone was nice and playful towards you didn’t mean there was anything else there.

Ugh, Y/N yearned for a confidant. It was hard being the only female in the group. She had no one to talk to about these things and she couldn’t really confide in anyone because they were all so close to one another and, if she would be so bold, were a bunch of gossip mongers. She looked around wondering which of the fourteen she might be able to trust with this secret.

Certainly not any of the Durins, for obvious reasons. 

Balin would be the most knowledgeable and unbiased, but he was much too close to Thorin to keep something like that from him. More so, she didn’t want to put that kind of pressure on him since she would have sworn him to secrecy. Y/N’s eyes flew right past Dwalin, Gloin, Oin, Bifur, Nori, and Bombur as she wasn’t too keen about their ability to keep secrets; which only left Bofur, Bilbo, Ori, and Dori as her remaining options. 

At the dwindling choices of confidants to choose from, Y/N wished for the thousandth time that Gandalf were here. And more importantly, her mom… Her mother always had the answers. Infallible Mom Logic was especially useful in times of emotional crisis and matters of love. Y/N would have given anything just to be able to make a phone call. Or, hell, steal someone else’s mom for the time being to impact her with helpful motherly advice.

Dori was very, well, “motherly” in a way that comforted her when she missed her folks the most, but nobody could ever take the place of your own mother. As far as looking after her welfare and virtue and being such a warm presence to be around, Dori was as close to a mom as a lady could get in this particular group. So Y/N contemplated the idea of possibly telling him. But what if Dori decided to take charge on her behalf and accidentally let it slip to Fili or Thorin about her budding feelings? Or worse… tried to force-set them up together in an attempt to be a matchmaker? That wouldn’t do. 

Let’s see... that left Ori, Bofur, and Bilbo. 

Ori was so easily flustered and didn’t seem like he escaped his brother’s shadow long enough to experience these types of feelings before, and the situation was much more complicated given the circumstances. What if he chronicled down his talk with her among the other scriptures he was taking for the journey? Yikes! 

And then there were two. 

Y/N’s gaze bounced between Bofur and Bilbo from their different corners at camp. 

She was close friends with Bofur, so she did feel comfortable talking with him on a variety of different topics, but they haven’t ever spoken about matters of the heart before. And Bofur babbled. A lot. More often than not, he had repeated some of the jokes she shared with him to the others within the same hour of her telling him about it. 

Of course, he was repeating _ jokes_. Not intimate feelings of a certain somebody who happened to reside in their company. But still, Bofur did have moments that proved he was a trustworthy friend to have and he knew when to be serious. And that was even before they all learned who brought her here to them. The urge to disclose the details of her crush to Bofur was very strong and overpowering and she heavily considered it. 

Looking to Bilbo, who was seated next to Fili smoking their pipes, Y/N then wondered if it might be better to trust the Hobbit with this secret. Out of all of them, Bilbo was the outsider. Like she was. He didn’t have close connections or familial ties as thick as blood to twist or test his loyalty. 

Bilbo was easy to talk to, smart, knowledgeable, and he had already proved that he could keep a secret—when pinky sworn. 

And it was with that thought that Y/N decided that if she ever did want to come clean and alleviate this burden beneath her breast, Bilbo would probably be best.

While she was wrapped up in her thoughts, a deep voice came from behind her, “Is now a bad time to steal you away or would you prefer to skip tonight?”

She jumped with a squeak.

Thorin wasn’t the type to sneak about. His personality and demeanor commanded attention and he had very heavy footfalls. If he had to announce himself by way of words, Y/N must have been more in her head than she intended to be. She felt a blush creep over her cheeks as she looked up at him. She did kind of want to be alone, but something about the tone in his voice had her reconsidering. 

Thorin gave her a small smile that she was only recently getting accustomed to seeing. “What were you thinking about so intensely?” 

“Just feel a little… out of sorts tonight. Nothing that some company can’t fix.”

His smile widened and Thorin inclined his head, indicating that she follow him as he made a move to lead her to a meeting place. Y/N hesitated a moment to collect her thoughts before following after, pondering on what could be troubling him. While she sorted through the mess in her heart, Thorin made a confession of his own.

“There has been a matter weighing on my mind as well…”

She perked up at the opening to offer her help, her stride growing confident and all too pleased to divert the attention off of her to aid him with his own troubled mind. They remained within eyesight from the camp for security purposes, but their discussions were always private to their ears only. Y/N smiled at Dwalin in passing, who was currently on watch, and he returned it with a quirk of a grin before returning his focus to his post.

Sometimes Balin was invited or pulled in to their discussions when it concerned tactics for the quest, but most of the time, it was just the two of them. Thorin held up his end of the bargain during their talks. He didn’t press for more details on matters she couldn’t say or didn’t know about and he got to know a lot about her, while she learned some interesting things from him in return. Y/N didn’t know that Thorin was the youngest in his family. Or that his favorite food was a simple peasant dish. Or that he had a longer beard when he was younger that he cut in memorial to his deceased brother and grandfather. This fact about him was something that he didn’t plan on saying, but was spurred on when they got talking about hair. 

That had been an especially heavy, and unexpected, topic and Thorin admitted to being surprised that he told her something so intimate for him so readily. When she questioned him why, Y/N didn’t realize how intimate beards were and that certain hairstyles and cuts meant different notions for them in their culture. As it would turn out, there were a lot of intricate gestures, hairstyles, and statements that were exclusive to only Dwarven kind to establish stature, courting, bereavement, even exile. Thorin informed her that there were many facts about Dwarves that only they could know about that were secret to outsiders and not to be offended if there were things they discussed that he, or the others, refused to elaborate on.

“So,” Y/N started once they had claimed their meeting spot for the night. “What’s on your mind?”

* * *

Kili did not like those talks.

At first, he didn't mind. But almost every night Y/N and Thorin disappeared out of earshot from the Company to discuss whatever it was they were discussing from anywhere between five minutes to one hour at a time. And both returned all smiles once they were done. Never divulging a lick of details on just what these talks were about. 

Y/N was always so open with them that he couldn’t understand how all of a sudden her open book demeanor was now padlocked. 

Several nights ago, Kili jokingly questioned Y/N about what these talks of theirs were about on Fili’s behalf, when it was obvious that his brother wasn’t going to, but she had only replied with, “We just talk about the quest and random, irrelevant things.”

Irrelevant, aye? He thought. Then why do you not deem them fit enough to share with us? She tells Fili a lot of things, not that he was purposefully eavesdropping—they slept close to each other and he couldn’t help but hear them—but she never once mentioned anything about their talks to either of them, nor did Fili ever ask about it. That surprised him even more, if he were to be honest.

Sure, it really was none of their business and it was nice having Thorin in a consistent pleasant mood all the time, but he was surprised that Fili didn’t see any cause for alarm in that; that there was absolutely nothing going on beyond their extensive conversations. And though Kili still held his suspicions, he didn’t mention to Fili that he was worried about this only because Thorin now had his eyes on her, too. Fili hadn’t noticed, because he wasn’t looking. His focus was being held by the same source. 

Was it only a coincidence? 

If Thorin was treating her the way he did at the beginning, Kili wouldn’t put as much thought into his change in behavior as he did now. He had assumed, of course, that Thorin was being nicer towards her because she was gifted to them by Mahal, but they knew Thorin better than any of them and nobody brought out this air of calm in him before. Not even Dwalin! But then again, it could all be because Thorin felt comforted in their blessing’s presence and felt the need to protect her. 

But, Kili thought to himself, isn’t that what he appointed Fili for? She was to be _ his _responsibility! 

And all that chastising that was done… did Fili recall none of it? Another thing that bothered Kili the most about this hunch of his was all that scolding Thorin had given Fili to being “too friendly”, “unbecoming of his family line”, or “having further intentions” with her meanwhile he might be showing some interest of his own. As if Fili wasn’t worthy! Thorin was allowed to have alone time with the lass with no questions asked, but he worried that she would be distracting Fili enough that he had to get a public talking to? 

What a load of rubbish!

The first time Kili asked Fili about how he felt about this, Fili was nonplussed. But after Kili tried to rip some answers from Y/N to no real avail, Fili seemed content with her answers. Kili did not. And the next time he pressed Fili about it, his brother only grew more and more annoyed. 

Kili wanted to broach the subject to Thorin in a constructive, non-accusing way to get his input on this and see where he stood, but he had to be careful on how to go about it. He still didn’t have all the pieces to this puzzle and there was a chance he could be wrong and jeopardize Fili’s chances if Thorin’s motives, if any, proved to be platonic. He watched as a feeling of helplessness overcame him as Y/N and Thorin headed off to “talk” and he took that chance to snag Fili for a little talk of his own. 

His brother was propped up on a fallen log next to Bilbo away from the fire. The two were smoking the last of the pipe weed the Hobbit had brought from his Hobbit hole and trying the savor the remaining bits of it before they could stumble upon a new source. 

Kili tried to remain casual in his approach, but apparently him storming over had alarmed Bilbo in a way that whatever conversation the two of them were having was immediately cut to silence. 

Fili quirked a brow at him after blowing a wobbly smoke ring and Kili stepped forward and forced a smile for each of them. 

“Am I interrupting?” he asked. Hoping to get some time alone with his brother. 

Bilbo looked between the two of them but seemed to sense nothing amiss. “Not at all! Come sit!” Holding his pipe in one hand, Bilbo patted the spot with the other after he scooted over and the seat closest to Fili was made available. Kili hoped that the little fellow would take the cue and leave, but Bilbo added conversationally, “I didn’t expect to go through the pipe weed so quickly. And there aren’t any plants around for miles worth smoking! I was in such a rush when I packed that I wasn’t thinking straight, I’m usually much more prepared.”

Kili eased between them and drummed his fingers absentmindedly on his knees as the Hobbit carried on about nothing in particular. Fili joined in, but Kili wasn’t in the mood. His eyes kept flicking over to where Thorin and Y/N were. Still in view but a ways up. He noticed that the Company wasn’t really paying them any mind. Mahal, he wondered if maybe he was overreacting… but he was deeply troubled by that hunch of his. 

Fili wasn’t concerned, the Company wasn’t concerned… the only person making a big deal about this was him. But still… he didn’t miss the looks Thorin had been giving her. Since it was obvious that Bilbo wasn’t going anywhere, Kili decided to get an unbiased person’s opinion before the waiting drove him mad. 

“Hey, Bilbo, have you noticed anything odd about Thorin and Y/N?” Kili interjected suddenly.

Bilbo stuttered in confusion at such an abrupt interpose to his explanation of a neighbor that Kili didn’t catch the name of and the Dwarf could practically feel the weight of Fili’s eyes on the back of his head but he dared not look at him. He wanted his question to appear nonchalant and curious, so he fixed Bilbo with a charming oh-I’m-just-asking-with-no-real-personal-interest-in-the-matter type of smile. 

“What do you mean exactly? Odd how?” Bilbo asked slowly. Based on just how confused he sounded, he probably took no notice at all. 

Kili shrugged carelessly and leaned back, putting his hands behind his head. “Oh nothing, really. They just spend an awful long time talking lately, I wonder what they discuss.” A part of him hoped that the Hobbit might know, unlikely as it was.

Kili eyed the frowning Hobbit from the side and felt Fili’s knee digging against his own; a clear message to drop the subject. Kili sighed and glanced at him, trying to get him to understand that he was asking for his benefit. Fili was pleading with his eyes to stop, however, but it was too late now. Bilbo had turned his attention towards the duo up ahead and considered his answer. 

“Well, they probably talk about her visions and information regarding the quest. I don’t see what could possibly be so unusual about that.”

“Indeed,” said Fili with a bit of force that only Kili picked up on. 

“But doesn’t the quest concern everyone else, too?” Kili insisted, ignoring his brother, “why won’t Thorin share those details with us? Are you sure that’s all it is?”

Bilbo took a quick puff of his pipe and lifted his hands up in a shrug as he exhaled. “How should I know? Nobody tells me anything! In fact, the only time I _ was _privy to ‘private quest matters’ was when Y/N told me about—” 

Fili and Kili leaned over to gaze at him questioningly and the Hobbit’s eyes grew wide as he clamped his mouth shut. But not before sticking his pipe into it as if that would mean he was no longer capable of speech. All of a sudden, Bilbo was very interested in the sky. Humming distractedly, making mental notes out loud about insignificant things, and watching the fading smoke of his pipe disappear up into the darkness. Probably hoping that this conversation would, too. 

Fat chance.

“Told you about…?” Fili prompted in his silence. And Kili thought, ah, finally, we have his interest. Bilbo only shook his head and coughed and swallowed a couple times like a flustered little Hobbit. 

“Nothing! I promised her I wouldn’t tell.”

Kili gave a pout at being shut out again, but as his mind reeled back several weeks ago when he and Fili teased him and Y/N about divulging whatever little secret they were speaking all hush-hush about, he decided the matter wasn’t worth pressing. That exchange happened before Fili even realized she was his One. 

The only thing Bilbo did mention after they attempted, and failed, to rip any confessions from him was that he trusted Y/N and then delved into a brief rant about how he wished Thorin would take the time to give him the opportunity to win his trust as he felt useless to them most times. Fili assured him that he was a valued member of the Company and had a very important job that nobody, not even Y/N, could accomplish. 

That seemed to uplift his spirits enough and soon he had finished puffing on his pipe before announcing he was going to see about getting ready for sleep. He dumped his pipe’s ashes off to the side and bid them goodnight. As soon as Bilbo was gone, Kili braced himself for the conversation Fili was going to instigate once the Hobbit was well enough away. 

“What do you think you’re doing asking him that?” Fili demanded in a harsh whisper. Kili tried to reel in how incredulous he was, but he couldn’t understand why Fili was being so, well, reasonable about Thorin spending so much time with his One and thinking nothing of it. Kili knew he’d be biting his nails with worry if he were in Fili’s boots. 

“How are you okay with this?” Kili retorted back, gesturing to where Y/N and Thorin stood. Fili puffed on his pipe like it was a race to smoke it as quickly as possible and Kili knew he was frustrated with him, but he couldn’t understand why. 

“How?” he said through a cloud of smoke that smelled so uniquely like the Shire. “Because for once Y/N isn’t being tested or ostracized by the one person she’s been trying to earn respect from.”

Kili opened his mouth to jump in but Fili blew a large cloud in his face and cut his hand through the air to stop him, as if the coughing fit he succumbed to wouldn’t be enough. 

“She's smiling more, she’s happy… it seems like Y/N is finally finding her place among the Company. I want her to be among friends and feel comfortable here. Thorin is our leader, if there’s anybody she should be getting along with, I would think it needs to be him. Furthermore… I want Thorin to like her. And when I’m ready to propose courtship, having his blessing will be one less obstacle I’d like to have for us. We aren’t exactly common dwarrows, he will be our King and I’m next in line,” he finished. 

Kili waved the last of the smoke out of his face and rolled his lips in as he digested that, choosing his next words very carefully. Fili eyed his lass from afar and seemed to have no worry at all at the possible threat these private discussions might carry. Kili understood what Fili was saying. He wanted Thorin to like Y/N, too. But Kili seemed to be the only one questioning that Thorin might like her a little further than what Fili had in mind. 

“Fili…”

Fili slammed a closed fist against his knee and Kili knew it had to hurt with the amount of force he used. The action startled him to silence and he couldn’t help but flinch back. 

“Kee,” he warned. It was very rare that he had to use that tone with him. But when he did, it made Kili feel three inches tall. He was just trying to help. He promised himself he would help Fili and Y/N end up together, but he could only do so much if his help wasn’t even wanted. 

“You aren’t a rabbit. Stop jumping to conclusions.” 

Kili’s hand hesitated in the air, but eventually reached over to be placed on top of Fili’s fist. He gave him a squeeze and implored him with his eyes to see his intentions were pure and just. Kili had his hunches in the past; he was right about Fili fancying Y/N, after all. He just wanted Fili to be less blind when it came to her. He was completely enraptured, and the thought of Fili potentially getting his heart broken when it could be prevented was too much for him to bear. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you with this… it’s just…” Fili remained quiet and let Kili struggle and stumble through his words as he continued smoking the remains of his pipe. “I’m just concerned that there might—”

“Might.”

Kili stopped at the interruption and frowned at him. “What?”

“Instead of focusing on mights and what-ifs, let’s focus on what we know,” Fili elaborated. He took a final drag and expelled a strong stream of smoke before tapping the out ashes against the log. He refocused on Kili once more with a look of sternness on his face that Kili didn’t care for. 

It must have showed, because Fili’s face softened into a warm grin and he playfully punched his shoulder and used his free hand to count the facts with his fingers. “Thorin told me himself that there was to be no frivolous, unbecoming behavior to ‘sully’ our family line from a third party perspective. No gallivanting about. For him, that means no hand kissing, reciprocating Y/N’s forwardness or touching her in too friendly a way. And I haven’t done that since he spoke to me.” Fili stopped to smirk at Kili’s growing look of disbelief, a smirk tugging at his own lips. “All right, I haven’t done _ exactly _that where others could see it, I’m being careful. Outside of that, Y/N and I have had tons of conversations since then and never has Thorin pulled me aside just for talking with the lass, has he?” 

Kili sighed, knowing he had a good point there. Fili was waiting for him to agree so he indulged with an eye roll and an “aye.” He remembered Thorin being vehement towards the notion that he worried Y/N might make them all soft, with Kili arguing otherwise and encouraging that he get to know her, too. Which... was exactly what it appeared they were doing. But—

Fili continued, “And is that not what they’re doing right now?”

“It is,” Kili bit out, feeling like he was being treated like a child. 

He couldn’t hold the sour expression for long. Fili’s smile as he looked down fondly in thought had melted away Kili’s will to react more harshly. Fili said with confidence, “This is why I’m not worried. Besides, she and I are getting a lot closer. I’ve given her tokens of affections when it’s safe, and we’re learning so much about each other. I know it may just be my hopes, but I think she might be starting to fancy me a bit.” 

“You’re not the only one who has his eyes on her,” Kili blurted. He didn’t know how else to voice his primary concern, so he decided to just come out with it. 

Fili blinked and flicked his eyes up. Then they narrowed. 

“What do you mean?”

Kili briefly closed his eyes, almost regretting bringing this up at all. But even if he was mistaken, he would feel a lot better having a good laugh at it later when all was well than for his suspicions proving true and living with the guilt of never warning his brother. 

“Look, I’m not trying to discourage you, or make trouble when there is none, but the reason why I’m being insistent about this is because Thorin has his eyes on her. I had an inkling that you—” he abruptly stopped when he realized he might be getting too loud, looked around, and lowered his voice. “That you fancied the lass. I’m getting the same type of feeling from Thorin.”

Fili’s eyes dropped and darted back in forth the way one does when deep in thought before looking over at them. He swallowed before meeting Kili’s eyes again, “Since when?” 

“Rivendell.”

Fili slumped as a sigh escaped him and he stood to kick Kili in the shin. “Mahal, Kili. Have you thought that perhaps after learning about the runes in her arms that Thorin might be more accepting of her? She arrived through the will of our Maker!” 

Kili looked off to where the two were talking, only to catch them breaking off and returning to camp. “I don’t know, Fee… I suppose that could be the case.”

Doubt began to creep into Kili’s suspicions as his eyes took him around the camp. Everyone paid Y/N more mind now, way more than they had since before she was declared their gift from the Valar. Perhaps he _ was _thinking too much on this. Ever since Fili confided in him that Y/N was his One, Kili became hyper aware of her every move so as to formulate an opportunity to get them together to hit it off so that by the time Fili was ready to ask her, she would choose him. 

As if she were already looking for him after her meeting with Thorin concluded, Y/N spotted and waved Fili over to where she was sitting and he gladly headed her way, but not without looking over his shoulder with a parting, “I appreciate you looking out for me, Kili. But I trust Thorin.”

Kili eventually followed after when she waved him over, too, looking between Y/N already engaging Fili and Bofur in a conversation, and then to Thorin. Who gave him a nod when he caught his eye before settling down for sleep. 

Huh… maybe there really wasn’t anything there. Now that he thought about it and mulled over Fili’s logic, he did feel a little silly getting jealous and defensive on Fili’s behalf. And the more he thought about it, the more foolish he felt. As much as he wanted to be included in Fili’s affairs, it really wasn’t any of his business. 

That’s not to say he wouldn’t still keep his eyes open for him. Y/N was a fetching lass, after all, and he really care for his brother’s happiness and knew that his happiness lied with her. But if Fili was truly unconcerned about this and felt there was no competition, then Kili would tone it back a bit and try not to jump to any conclusions. At least, not without definitive proof. 

As they all wrapped up sharing stories and songs and prepared for bed, Kili apologized again for thinking so rashly on the situation and gave Fili his word that he wouldn’t butt in on his affairs any longer. Fili assured that there was nothing to forgive, and thanked him for looking out for him. He knew that he meant well and held no ill will, as he was lucky to have a brother who cared so much for him. As they eased into their bedrolls, Fili added with a nudge of his elbow, “Thorin wouldn’t scold me only to swoop in and try to woo her himself. Besides, when has Thorin ever shown any interest in anything outside of reclaiming Erebor?” 

“Never,” Kili concurred solemnly. 

Fili nodded as if that was that and soon got into telling Kili how he swiped some cookies from Rivendell for Y/N a couple weeks ago and how her whole face lit up. He let him in on another token of affection he had planned for her and Kili made a point to smile and nod along, but he was having some trouble letting go of their earlier conversation despite his best efforts.

Just because Thorin wasn’t interested in anything else before didn’t mean that he couldn’t start now… 

* * * * *

As Y/N laid down for the night and stared up at the cloudy night sky, her mind cycled through the conversation she had with Thorin earlier and felt morose now that she was left to her thoughts in the quiet of the camp after what she learned. 

Thorin didn’t know it, but he may have shed some light on why Fili, and everyone for that matter, was being so friendly towards her; unintentionally extinguishing the small bud of hope for the feelings that were blooming for his nephew. It didn’t do anything to alter her feelings for the blonde Dwarf, but the pitter patters her heart had begun harboring were now falling deeper and deeper into her stomach, solidifying into an uncomfortable lead. Maybe it was for the best. 

She needed the distraction from this hurt that only Bofur and Fili could offer, and so Y/N took joy in a round of storytelling as she pretended all was well after she and Thorin dispersed for the night. God, she never thought about it before. That everyone was only treating her so nicely… that Fili was being so sweet to her because...

* * * * *

_“So,” Y/N started once they had claimed their meeting spot for the night. “What’s on your mind?”_

_ Thorin had his hands clasped behind his back and paced slowly in front of her with a furrowed brow. He didn’t meet her eye, they were focused wherever his mind was. _

_ “How long has it been since we left Rivendell?” _

_ “Um… I don’t know, maybe a couple weeks?” _

_ Thorin’s brow creased further. “The map,” he began, pausing to gather his train of thought before pulling it out of his pocket and indicating with his finger. “It said that we had until Durin’s day for the door to appear to us. We have scarcely moved at all according to this. We stayed too long in that ‘Elf’s’ abode.” _

_ The word ‘Elf’ was uttered in a tone that, by Thorin’s actual definition, was more along the lines of ‘scum’ or ‘asshole’ than a race of supreme beings in Middle Earth who happened to have the very skills they needed to translate the map in the first place. _

_ “It needed to be done. He’s the only one who could’ve deciphered the map and figured out these runes in my arms. We owe him.” _

_ Thorin grumbled in response and settled his eyes back on the map. _

_ Y/N moved closer to see the distance they traveled. With the horrid sense of direction that she had, she wasn’t particularly good at map reading to know what an inch constituted on this inked path full of twists and turns, mountains and forests. Google Maps had made it very easy for her to find her way that seeing an actual map made her feel really imcompetant in the face of such technological advancement that did all the hard work for you. Oh, if only she had a working smartphone. Google Maps would tell her precisely how many miles they had before their next turn and offered the estimated arrival time. Hell, it might even note a faster detour that would save them from all the encounters they were to face. _

_ But as she didn’t have that helpful app on hand, and it likely wouldn’t have worked anyway since Google Maps was made for earth. She could only rely on her friends’ knowledge of where they were. _

_ “Will we make it in time?” he asked her in a voice that was more of a twist in her gut. She still wasn’t used to seeing Thorin sounding like this. Vulnerable. Lost. Yet he seemed to let his guard down around her every once in a while now that they’ve been speaking more freely one-on-one. _

_ He implored her with striking blue eyes that penetrated deep in her soul. Pleading to give him some type of insurance on his quest’s eventual turnout that she hasn't already said. Y/N could tell that Thorin knew there were still some things she didn’t tell him about. He never pressed her or pushed, as promised, but his distaste was always obvious when she didn’t answer him directly when he was aiming for information. _

_ It was still so early in the quest to know if there would be any altering involved. What she wanted to do was tell him yes. Everything will turn out how it needs to, and you will be alive to see it, and you will rule as a great king and all would be well. But in truth, so had no idea. Without being aware of doing so, she gripped her arm. Trying to gain strength from the hidden runes. Thorin still had no idea that she carried the details of his death, and that of Fili and Kili._

_ “If everything keeps happening as planned, yes. We’ll make it in time.” _

_ Y/N hoped that with her here, they wouldn’t cut it so close to the door. Maybe there was a way to get there sooner? So many questions… and there was no one she could turn to for answers. The last time the entity appeared to her was when she had the vision of the Goblin City a few nights back. But all it said was, "Your next task."_

_ “What troubles you?” Thorin asked, noting the sad expression cross her face. _

_ She gripped her arms closer, hugging herself, unable to form words. She didn’t want to crush his hope by telling him she had no idea what she was doing, or if what she was doing was even the right thing. Instead, she surfaced another concern. One that she could actually talk about with him. _

_ “I miss my family… I have no idea what’s going on there. If I’ve been reported missing, presumed dead, if there’s some sort of time freeze in place that, if I go back, it’s like I wasn’t even gone. I hate not knowing and I just wish there was a way for me to talk to them and let them know I’m okay.” _

_ His eyes softened and he carefully folded the map and put it away before taking a step forward. _

_ “I can relate to that. Even now, my father is out there and I’ve no way of knowing where or how he is, nor is he aware of how his kin have been since…” His voice drifted as he remembered the Battle of Moria that was the start of his father slipping into madness. He shook his head and refocused on Y/N, Thorin’s deep voice stronger, “Gods, fate; they all work in mysterious ways. They always have. I have prayed to Mahal to bless this quest, and then you arrived not even an hour later with his mark upon you. We may not know when or how Mahal will return you to your own land, but regardless, you have the protection of the Company and myself. Our fates are intertwined, so I would not be too concerned.” _

_ Y/N bit her lip and looked down at her forearms. Her sleeves were down and the sky was clouded so they were hidden from view. She sent a prayer of her own to Mahal, or anyone who was listening, to ask for guidance and help, for she, too, was lost and had questions. _

_ “Have you not taken notice?” Thorin continued with a smile, looking out to camp. “Many hearts were lightened when they learned who you were to us and we have accepted you as our own—it is quite the honor to be sure, as we do not trust easily. But you are safe with us and will always have a home among my people.” _

_ A thought occurred to her that didn’t settle quite right. “Wait, is that why everyone has been so nice to me?” _

_ Thorin refocused his gaze on her and his expression became remote—and that was when it all became clear to her. “They are good folk at heart, they had no reason not to be friendly, but I was wary. Man has not exactly been kind to us, so if some had given you pause, that is why. However, if Mahal deemed you fit to be our Guardian and Savior, then we will not question his judgment. You have been most kind to me and mine; fighting for my trust from the start. For that, I thank you for your faith in me." He bowed his head._

_It was hard to know if all this "we" business was "we" the Company, or "we" meaning Thorin Oakenshield. _

_ Y/N knew his intentions were meant well, but he inadvertently made it seem like the only reason everyone was now so eager to help and assist her wasn’t because they liked her, but because she was a god’s blessing. Normally, she wouldn’t care for such things. But in terms of her romantic feelings for Fili were concerned, she suddenly wasn’t in the frame of mind to believe for an instant that Fili would like her any more than for what she carried in her arms. _

_ Was that all she was to everyone else, too? Someone to accept out of necessity just because their deity said so?_

_ She forced a smile for him. Whether or not he saw her as a friend, she still viewed him as one. Him and everyone else. _

_"You guys are my friends, Thorin. I feel like I’ve known you forever considering how often I dreamed of you. Thanks for looking after me. And no matter what happens, Thorin, remember that my loyalty lies with you.” _

_ Y/N placed a hand on his shoulder and he gripped her arm to return the affection. He gave a pleased nod before breaking away. “I will remember. That will do it for tonight, I would like to get an early start for tomorrow. Don’t stay up too late.” _

* * * * *

Y/N rubbed her face and mussed her hair in frustration. She was getting way too emotional over this. Making friends was hard to do when you happened to fall out of the sky into a foreign land that only existed in Dungeons and Dragons games and fantasy novels, and now she'd be questioning everybody's intentions every time they did something nice for her. Which wasn't fair to her or any of them. After thinking a little on it, she decided not to take what Thorin said too literally to heart. But it was going to be a challenge not thinking "what if".

Y/N glanced over to where Thorin was resting, wondering if his troubles were weighing on his mind beyond sleep as well. He never appeared to ever fully fall asleep and was just one loud snore, or throat clearing, or sneeze away from jumping up with a sword in hand. It was as if he were always anticipating a surprise attack and had to sleep with one ear open even when they had people rotating on watch duty to ensure the others could properly rest. Then again, being a light sleeper was a hard habit to break if you lived on the road long enough. 

Thorin carried such burdens with him and probably felt that as king, he for whatever reason, had to. God… she really hoped that all the calls she was making on how she interpreted her visions were leading them on the right path of making a positive difference. Y/N understood why Thorin was always so troubled with doing what was right; they both shared a common goal in that regard. He wanted to lead his people to success, and she wanted to make sure that it was done with everyone in one piece. Y/N didn't know if her talks with Thorin helped either of them in any way, but she had already begun seeing him as a friend. She had assumed he did, too, but now...

As their earlier meeting circulated in her brain, churning around her insecurities and doubts in annoying circles, she wondered what Thorin really thought of her beyond being Mahal’s blessing. Was she a friend or just a channel to his maker? What did Fili think? As her heart thumped in her chest wondering how Thorin would react if he heard such news that she might be falling in love with his kin, she sighed forlornly at the king. It didn't seem likely, and she couldn't help but long for it, even if it was only in fantasy.

The look on her face was not missed by Bilbo, whose conversation with the Durin brothers suddenly refreshed in his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A pot + a ladle = me! STIRRING UP STUFF! Also, sorry for the delay… I’ve been going through a bit of a rough time lately. And I edited this chapter so many times I started to add on to it. xD;


	13. 500 Miles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After going through all of your comments, the general consensus for the reader insert and OC name poll was won in favor of the former: sooo "Y/N" it is!
> 
> Y/N: 8  
OC: 1 (2, if I counted myself, which I couldn't for the sake of being fair :x )
> 
> Thank you to everyone who took the time to leave their input on this. This poll was something I questioned with myself before I got the initial comment-ask for it. I understand that reading for an OC, and vice versa for "Y/N" can be a bit of an eye sore for some readers, and although everyone has their own reading preference I can't cater to everybody as much as I want to. But I hope that in spite of there being the continuation of the reader insert that it doesn't take you away from the story too much and I'll do my best to deliver the best I can as the story unravels! Thanks again for leaving such kind comments and please excuse any errors I may have missed during editing.

The next couple days of travel through the beautiful land of Middle Earth, Y/N had her guard up. It was a constant back and forth battle of scrutinizing every gesture or word made towards her trying to find hidden intent among the sincerity. She promised herself she wouldn’t do that, but as the days pressed on since her last talk with Thorin, she couldn’t help but wonder if Bofur sharing his snacks with her was done out of obligation to their deity or out of true friendship.

Did Ori knit her a washcloth because he was being a good friend, or was it because he was “paying tribute”? Was Dwalin being nice to her because Thorin told him to? Was Fili only looking after her because…

“Composing morose poetry in yer head or is there somethin’ on yer mind?”

“Huh?” 

Y/N shook herself back into focus and Bofur chuckled at her aloofness. This wasn’t the first time she had been lost in her thoughts that day during their long, seemingly endless walking. Most times, Y/N was a brisk walker, but she didn’t realize she had fallen towards the end of the line. Bombur and Oin were just behind her and they were the slowest of the bunch. Which just goes to show just how wrapped up in her mind she was.

“You’ve been quiet and sighing to yerself more and more often, lass. Everything okay?” Bofur asked gently. 

Y/N worried her lip, debating on if she should ask him what she so desperately had been wanting to get out. He followed up with another question she wasn’t anticipating, “Wouldn’t happen to be thinking about a lad, would ya?”

“What!? No!” she flushed.

Bofur’s head whipped back in laughter at her startled expression, his hat flaps waving at her as he bellowed while she flushed red up to her ears. The sudden outburst from both of them had garnered the interest of Oin and Bombur, much to Y/N’s dismay on the already sensitive topic. Bofur seemed to sense this, so he shooed them off and the two of them moved forward. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry. Ye just looked like you needed some willing ears, and I hope you know that if there’s something troublin’ you, that I’d be more than happy to help. I’m yer friend.”

Y/N’s eyes dropped and her chest tightened. The insecurity twisting doubt around her insides like a dark cloud. She sighed and Bofur’s warm smile faded away to concern. He quickly added, “I’ve upset ya, haven’t I? Me an’ my big mouth... I’ll go—” 

“Wait!” 

Y/N snagged a hold of his arm before he could start away and pulled him back, but even as he met her stare and slowed their pace so they walked in sync, she struggled to get the question out. She started with, “This is really hard for me to say…”

Bofur’s bushy brows furrowed as a serious look crossed his face but he nodded encouragingly for her to continue. Not wanting to draw out any unnecessary suspense for something that really wasn’t a huge deal, Y/N decided to just come out and say it. After taking a deep breath, the blush still flush on her cheeks, she said, “Areyouallbeingnicetomejustbecauseoftherunesinmyarms?”

Bofur blinked before lifting a puzzled brow. “Come again, lass?”

Focusing her eyes on the dirt trail they were following, she set her sight to a small pebble that she kicked in front of her. “Are you… are you all being nice to me just because of… these?” She lifted her arm to indicate and risked a nervous glance his way.

She felt a hand on her arm as Bofur pulled them both to a stop. Oin and Bombur weaved past them and Bofur lowered his voice, pulling them along to trail behind everyone else so nobody could overhear.

“Where did you get an absurd idea like that from?” he asked, hurt clear in his voice.

“Well…” she drifted. Bofur fixed her with a stare, obviously communicating for her to explain herself. “Thorin said… well, he didn’t say so _ explicitly _, but he implied that certain people were being accepting of me because of the big reveal of the runes in my arms. It made me a little paranoid that maybe you all were only being nice because your deity—” She was abruptly cut off with an unexpected snicker from Bofur. Y/N didn’t find this to be amusing in the slightest, but the sight of his infectious smile had dulled the ache in her chest.

“Leave it to that cantankerous grouch… listen, little lady: I cannot speak for the rest of the lads, but ye can trust me when I say that I’ve liked ya from the very start, with or without those,” his hand gestured to the arm she had slowly been lowering back to her side. “In fact, I’ve considered you and I friends since I took a crack at ya after a glimpse of yer armpit head. Not many others who can match my wit eye to eye. Who else can I engage in witty banter and share naughty jokes with?”

Y/N bit back the smile tugging at her lips, remembering how they almost got a talking to for getting out of hand with inappropriate jokes. Emboldened in her response, Bofur beamed back and continued, “Thought so. Don’t worry yer pretty head over such nonsense. Have you asked the others about this?” 

“No.” 

“Best that ya don’t. If anyone else heard ye say that, I reckon they’d be mighty offended.” He gave a decisive nod as if that was that.

Y/N wanted to believe him, but it was hard to shake her doubt. She sighed and looked over to the line of Dwarves pressing on determinedly in front of her. She recalled how willing they were to accommodate her in the beginning by lending her their supplies and clothes to use without ever having seen the runes in the first place. But were they only doing that in the hope that they were there?

As if Bofur were reading her mind, he said, “Besides, we had no idea what the runes in yer arms even read. Most of us denied that Thorin and Gandalf saw them at all, to be honest. We treated ya kindly because yer a lady—a lady we happen to care for very much! We knew right away that you were someone special, so don’t let anything Thorin says question that you have friends here.” He patted her shoulder affectionately and her eyes glistened with gratitude.

“Aw, Bofur… you know just what to say to make me smile.” 

He adjusted his silly hat with posh and made an act out of admiring his dirty, blunt nails before shooting her a side wink. “Oh, part of my many talents, I suppose. Especially when in such exceptional company.”

She rolled her eyes, but laughed at his good nature before regarding him seriously. “Thanks, I feel really stupid that I doubted any of you and I’m sorry I even thought it in the first place. I’ve never been one to make friends easily, so my natural reaction is to assume the worst.”

Bofur tilted his head at that, as if he couldn’t understand why, but he waved the apology away.

“No harm done! We care a great amount for ya because we like you for you, with or without the runes. And I happen to know that I’m not the only one who thinks so.” At that, he gave her a suggestive wag of his eyebrows and a wink. Before she could comment on what she was suggesting, a deep, edgy baritone voice rang out from the front. 

“Y/N, Bofur, if you are quite finished with your cozy chat, I suggest you keep up.” 

Bofur rolled his eyes but smirked. “Best we press on before he fills yer head with other rubbish.” He nudged her elbow with his to encourage her to move up the line first. 

They both began walking a little faster and Y/N looked over her shoulder to quip something back to him in response, but felt a chill at the way he was looking at her. Wide-eyed and paled.

“What?” she asked, before she realized that she couldn’t speak and the unmistakable static began filling her ears.

* * * * *

_ Oh no. Not now! _Y/N thought as the first tingling sensations began to hum through her head. 

Instinctively, her hand latched around Bofur’s arm and locked on tight. She barely felt him flinch against her, and by the time he worriedly tried to ask her what was wrong, the hums had turned into buzzing in her ears and she could no longer hear him or anything else except for a static-like frequency growing higher and higher from everywhere and all around. Her vision was next to ebb and flow out of focus, but one thing remained acutely in focus was the lone figure standing tall among the lineup of her Dwarven companions who were just stopping to turn around and look at her.

She tried to fight it off this time, desperately trying to subdue the pain she knew would follow after. But the more Y/N tried to ignore the vision, the stronger and more persistent it became. Her hearing was zoning in and out like a dream, only catching hints of masculine voices in a slow moving echo.

“What do you want?” she wanted to ask. But in the rush and disorienting streams of light that was pulling her under, she could only collapse in surrender.

“Oi, lads! She’s going under!” Were the last words she heard before she sank within her body down that long tunnel of light.

* * *

Everyone came to an abrupt halt and Fili was the first to sprint in her direction and the second to Y/N’s aid. Bofur made an attempt to grab her when she started seizing, but she slipped out of his hold and he had to position himself awkwardly just to hold her up and away from the dirt she fell into. He gingerly passed her into Fili’s waiting arms. 

Fili captured her face with a free hand to see if he could get her to focus on him and coax her out of it. Her nose had started to bleed and her eyes were completely white—no irises or pupils. He heard Kili’s boots crunching in the miscellaneous pebbles on the ground as he ran up behind him.

“Is she all right? Is it another vision?” his brother asked worriedly, dropping down beside him. 

“This is not natural, none of it,” Nori nervously muttered as he backed away. Oin pressed closer, hand on his bag ready to dive in for supplies.

“Keep her head up, lad! Get something to stop the bleeding!” he said. 

“Y/N, can you hear me? Y/N?” Fili said, taking care to level her head per Oin’s instructions. He wished Y/N was walking beside him when this happened, maybe he could have done something. Curses, he didn’t know what to do and she looked positively frightful; this wasn’t like any of her other visions. And this happened so soon! Her head gave a slight twitch at irregular intervals but her body had become very still while she was in her trance. Didn’t she just have a vision not too long ago? he thought helplessly. How frequent were these going to be? 

A protective cocoon began to form around them as everyone expressed their worry and shock and he wasn’t surprised to hear Thorin’s voice break them apart.

“Check her arms!” He heard him call out as he made his way closer. Fili was more preoccupied with Y/N’s comfort and he dabbed the blood from her nose with his spare cloth as Oin said.

“Check her arms, Fili,” Thorin commanded once more, his imposing figure standing above them.

The blonde Dwarf cast a disapproving look over his shoulder but obeyed. He didn’t understand what Thorin was thinking, but if he weren’t so annoyed, he would have noticed Thorin’s look of concern. But Thorin had seen the runes and they only appeared in the light of the moon. Did he think another message would appear during these types of episodes? Even Balin seemed surprised by Thorin’s words. Fili whispered a quick apology to her and shoved her sleeves up. Her fingers twitched but she remained unresponsive.

Whatever theory his uncle thought of proved useless. Y/N’s arms remained bare. 

“Satisfied?” Fili asked brusquely, pushing her sleeves back down so he could return tending to the blood streaming from her nose. 

“Is she injured anywhere else?” Thorin returned in a softer tone. Kili caught the look on his brother’s face when he turned back around to tend to Y/N.

“Nosebleed,” Kili answered for him. “Same symptoms as the last time, but she seems to be unharmed. Fili?” 

“Aye, she’s unharmed on the outside at least.” It took all his might to bite back the, well, bite in his voice at the indelicacy of his uncle’s actions. After all their talking of late, did Thorin still hold some ounce of distrust with her? Why? And even if he did, his uncle’s immediate response irked Fili. 

Y/N gave another twitch as her now all-white eyes stared unseeing in a place they couldn’t follow. That was new... Fili unfastened his cloak and wrapped her in it as best he could and drew up her hood to shield her face from the hot sun streaming down on them to protect her unblinking eyes. 

Thorin nodded and reluctantly started to turn around to head back up front, though his eyes remained on her. 

“I wish Gandalf were here…” someone muttered. Thorin scoffed but ignored that remark.

“If she does not need medical attention, we need to keep moving while we still have daylight left and find a safe place to camp, I do not want her to be incapsitated here out in the open. Kili, help your brother to carry her—”

Nori interrupted Thorin with, “I think it’s time we talk about these episodes! Uh, don’t ya think? What if Y/N and that man she keeps talkin’ about are in cahoots? What? Just trying to look after our wellbeing!”

“We should be looking after Miss Y/N,” Kili scolded his cowardice and together he and his brother situated Y/N into Fili’s hold bridal style while Kili held her head up to help stop the nosebleed before situating her head against Fili’s shoulder.. 

“Look around, you nincompoop! No one is following us!” Bofur added, spreading his arms to demonstrate. 

Nori sniffed, “Then the lass is bewitched with—”

“She is not!” someone defended. 

“Enough!” Thorin’s voice boomed before the steadily growing retorts could get out of hand. “Do you want to draw out the attention of orcs or blow our cover with this unnecessary chatter? Anyone who questions Y/N’s gifts are questioning Mahal’s judgement and thus my own. Is this the correct assumption I am gathering from you? No? Good! We are leaving; Balin, a word.”

Thorin gave a majestic turn of his heel before stomping his way back to the front with Balin trotting hastily behind. The group exchanged mixed looks but quickly fell back into place and got going. Dwalin, Bofur, Fili and Kili were next to follow, giving Balin and Thorin their space. 

This was certainly not what Fili pictured when he fantasized holding Y/N in his arms… 

He wasn’t sure how long this vision would endure for. The last one was only about two minutes long, but they had been trudging through for about seven minutes now and Y/N had fared no different. Fili glanced at her worriedly. He thought once more about the pinky promise he made with her and hoped that was one he could actually keep. 

Could he uphold such a promise? Could he even protect her from visions? Mahal, was this what being a king would feel like? Caring all of his people in such a way with promises and responsibilities well over your head?

Fili thought next to how close they were getting. To Y/N’s smile and how she made him feel. Braver. Better. Inspired. Yes, he decided. He could be that kind of Dwarf, he could be that kind of king. She trusted him and believed him. And that was all Fili needed to know that he could be the best he could possibly be on that alone. 

* * * * *

“I don’t know, Thorin…” Balin sighed, casting a dubious glance over his shoulder where the lassie laid nestled in Fili’s hold before returning his sights to his king.

“Do you disagree?” Thorin asked indifferently, meeting his eye. Balin held it confidently. 

“Yes, I disagree!” 

It wasn’t that he didn’t understand Thorin’s logic behind it all; even if he didn’t personally know Thorin as well and as long as he did, Balin would have understood that he was being careful and cautious. But what Thorin was suggesting was a breach of trust he didn’t wish to gamble with, especially after how well he and Y/N were getting along of late. Balin, for one, was happy with their progress. The lass had a way about her that brought calm to them; a sort of calm that Thorin especially needed. If she ever caught on to what Thorin had planned, he couldn’t help but worry of the repercussions that would follow. Not to mention potentially damage any relationship he and she have built thus far. They didn’t get off on the best foot as it was, and after Y/N fighting so hard to win Thorin’s trust only to be subjected to this plan of his… well, it burned his beard. 

“What yer suggesting… this doesn’t feel right. Not after all we’ve been through and discovered thus far.”

Thorin’s face was grim, “I cannot think of any other way to go about it.”

“You could always _ trust _the lass and give her the chance to tell you herself,” Balin pointed out sarcastically. “Honestly, Thorin, what do you hope to gain if you do happen to pull this off?”

“Answers.”

“So after all this time, you don’t trust her.”

Thorin hesitated long enough that the stretch told Balin that he was conflicted about the question.

“After getting to know one another these past few evenings... I can honestly admit that I do trust her, but I feel as though she does not trust me with her knowledge. We have covered ground and spoke of personal matters between us, however, she still withholds information about the quest from me. As the leader of this company, should I not be consulted with more readily? I do not like the idea of being blindsided.”

Balin raised a hand to butt in, hoping that his tone would urge Thorin to reconsider the decision he arrived at, “Don’t be brash about this. Please! You are the first person she tells of her visions and as soon as she recovers, I know Y/N will tell you about what she saw today. I was there right along with Gandalf when she warned us of trolls on the horizon and it came to pass as she foretold. She pulled both of us aside to inform us of the goblins as well, and we may be able to alter the course. As far as I’m concerned, that’s more information than we could have ever known before if we were without her! What more do you think she should say?”

Thorin replied without a moment’s pause and with a sort of resentment Balin was only beginning to understand.

“She saw fit to tell our burglar something else that night.” Well, that shut Balin up. Thorin eyed him and nodded knowingly as he watched Balin settle on those words. “I saw them myself. Immediately following our first council, Y/N pulled Master Baggins aside.”

“That could have been about anything, Thorin.”

“No, I happened to catch him mentioning ‘trolls’ before she shushed him. Then after she told us of the goblins, she went to Fili and did not elaborate with me on what it was they were discussing. And this afternoon she was speaking to Bofur away from everyone’s ears before her next vision hit. Shall I go on?”

Balin’s lips pursed and he sighed again. 

“I see…” he said eventually. “Still… I would suggest you talk to her first before going to these extremes. I’m sure there’s a valid explanation.”

“If talking were that simple, I would not need to consider this as a viable option, Balin,” Thorin replied wistfully. 

* * * * *

As the group trudged on, Kili had snuck some worried glances Y/N’s way, but he gave Fili a fair share, too. He made sure to smile reassuringly when their eyes met, though it didn’t seem to do much for lifting his spirits. Y/N was still out like a light and it was anyone’s guess when she would wake up. Kili was glad that it was Fili carrying her and not someone else.

Everyone remained mostly quiet now; there was no song or much upbeat talk among them and the tension was enough to drive Kili mad. He was upset for his brother, knowing that he wouldn’t truly be at ease until Y/N woke up. So Kili remained close to offer him comfort however he could. 

Bilbo, who decided to stay close by as well, joined Fili’s side after following behind for a while. “How is she?” he asked. 

Kili looked over at him to answer, “The same.”

“Is she still bleeding? Should I get another handkerchief from someone?”

Kili smiled at Bilbo, understanding that he wanted to be useful instead of standing, or walking, around helpless like everyone else who was just waiting around for Y/N to wake up so they could finally take a proper breath of air. 

Fili answered with a polite smile, “The bleeding has stopped, but thank you.”

Fili had already done a good job of washing the blood from her nose, so it wasn’t necessary, but he appreciated the Hobbit’s concern. As they all continued along, Fili took care in adjusting her in his arms and wondered how long it would be to end this excruciating wait. After what felt like forever, Fili peeked at Y/N again from under the hood and saw that her eyes were closed and felt a fresh bout of panic run through him. But then her eyes wrinkled before blinking open, revealing dazed, normal-colored hues and he let out a breath of relief he didn’t realize he’d been holding in all this time. Kili looked over and his expression brightened.

“Y/N?” 

Her eyes squeezed shut again when she tried to sit up and groaned. Kili shot Fili a look of concern and Bilbo contemplated calling for help.

“Are you back with us, Miss Y/N? Do you need anything?” the Hobbit asked, trying not to draw too much attention. Bofur was the only one near them who could hear. He turned around and was relieved that Y/N was back. It took all of his might to stay quiet about it.

“My head…” Y/N whined. “Fuckin’ hell, it hurts like a bitch.”

The three of them blushed at her colorful words and Bofur’s laughter barked out of him from ahead, completely unfazed, but chipper. 

“She must be back. Best not let mother hen hear what’s comin’ out of yer mouth or he’ll wash it out with soap. But ya didn’t hear this from me!”

She squirmed in Fili’s hold but didn’t make any true effort of getting out of it. 

“Uncomfortable? Would you like to stand or…?” he asked unsurely. Though if he were to be honest, he would have liked to keep holding her for as long as he could. It wasn’t likely that another vision would happen again, but he didn’t want to take any chances. If she was with him, she was safe. 

She gave a tired sigh. “I don’t know. How long was I out?”

“Several minutes longer than usual… I—we were worried,” Fili said. 

Y/N was quiet for a moment and Fili thought she passed out again, but when he looked he saw that she was just in thought. Her downturned eyes met his and quickly softened the troubled look she wore. 

“Did you carry me this whole time?” As if several minutes of her in his arms was a bad thing. 

Fili stood a little taller, not that she would have noticed, “Well, I do have my promise to upkeep after all; I did say you’re always safe with me, ands I’m a Dwarf of my word—”

“What did you expect us to do? Drag you behind us like a carcass? _ Someone _had to carry ya!” 

“Bofur!” Fili admonished, horrified at his choice of words. But Y/N only chuckled, unfazed at his morbid humor. 

She turned her face to grin up at Fili, “Well, I technically was deadweight for a while there.”

Even though Y/N was being a good sport about it, Fili grimaced, his moustache braid arching up with his lip. “Don’t even jest about such things…” he said in a small voice. He couldn’t even fathom the thought of carrying Y/N’s lifeless body if she were to perish in an attack all because he failed to protect her. Without realizing what he was doing, he pulled her closer to him. Fili was about to mentally kick himself in the arse when he felt her head slowly come to rest under his chin; he hoped she couldn’t hear how hard his heart was pounding and he smiled sheepishly. 

Kili and Bilbo split up to inform the front and back of the line that she was all right but to keep their voices down so she could rest. Though Y/N had finally woken up, she was still very fatigued and paler than usual. Ori trotted over to offer her some of his water and she gratefully accepted it. Bofur shooed him off when he lingered and anyone else who tried to get some time with her. He noticed that each interaction was extracting more energy from her and something told him that Fili would be more than willing to build that back up. 

Y/N gave a hesitant squirm in his arms. “Do you… want to put me down now? I can probably walk and I feel bad that you had to lug me around.” 

“I can continue carrying you, if you like. You’re light as a feather,” Fili said, ignoring Kili’s suggestive smirk with a pointed, affectionate glare over her head. 

Fili’s heart warmed at the smile on her face and he hoped she’d accept. She seemed a bit pale and he didn’t want her walking however long it would take for them to camp. Besides, no doubt seeing her on her feet would draw in more attention when she needed some peace and quiet. These visions always took a lot out of her afterward and Fili thought it fit to put aside the Company’s relief for Y/N’s comfort. 

She peeked up from under the hood and leaned up to whisper to him, “You sure you don’t mind? I don’t wanna be a freeloader while everyone else is walking…”

He readjusted his grip under the guise to better her support, but really was trying to showcase his strength to her and how effortless it was for him. “No, not at all! Besides, I wouldn’t fault you for falling asleep… you did quite a bit of walking already and then this vision? Wouldn’t surprise me if you can barely keep your eyes open,” he ventured playfully. Y/N caught on with a quiet, tired chuckle followed with a yawn.

“You’re the best, you know that?” 

Fili couldn’t contain the beaming smile that bloomed across his lips at her praise. His chest filled with pride at her words and this time when Kili smirked at him, Fili only grinned gleefully back at him. 

And then there was silence. Which thankfully was now a peaceful one since everyone knew she was all right. Fili focused on carefully navigating his precious cargo safely down the path Thorin was leading them. He and Balin were still at the head of the line, heads together in deep discussion. 

After ten more minutes of walking, Bofur took up humming the theme of Galavant and soon others joined in, evolving into an enthusiastic singing session. Random members took turns jumping in to sing certain lines of it and added their own flair. Though they were careful to keep their voices down, they were still a little too loud for Fili’s liking, but it was nice that the air about them was much more jovial once more. 

He felt Y/N’s head slump against him at some point and he knew she was out without having to look at her. She let out a soft snore but otherwise slept peacefully, even through the encore. She was still out hours later when Thorin had claimed their next campsite and Fili very carefully, with the help of Bofur and Kili, set up her sleeping space while the others got a fire started and went to scout for a possible dinner to cook with some of their rations from Rivendell. 

As they got her tucked in, Thorin came to them stoic and straight-faced. He waited for them to finish getting Y/N situated before he spoke. 

“How is she faring?”

“Poor thing is exhausted…” Bofur answered. “But she’s in good hands.” 

Thorin nodded sympathetically and then turned to regard his nephews.

“Fili, Kili, come with me. Bofur, see that no one disrupts our Seer’s rest until we can feed her.”

Bofur nodded, “You got it.” 

Thorin didn’t wait for his kin to accept or decline his summons, and Kili shot a confused look at Fili while they followed. Fili wondered what this private discussion could possibly be about, he knew he was being careful about displaying any hint of affection for her, but Thorin couldn’t possibly fault him for carrying her all the way here because it was him that suggested it. He didn’t let his concerns show, however. Besides, he wanted to bring up his distaste with Thorin’s actions today post Y/N’s vision and now would be the perfect opportunity. 

They were led a few feet away from any prying ears and nobody paid them any mind since they were all too absorbed in their given tasks, though Bofur gave an occasionally curious glance. Thorin regarded both of his nephews with a warm smile. 

“I wanted to thank you both for watching over the girl so exceptionally. You, in particular, Fili,” he started. Their eyebrows shot up to their hairlines. It wasn’t common for Thorin to pull them aside to express his gratitude unless they did something that exceeded beyond his expectations for them. Up to this point, neither brother could assuage what they could have done to warrant a private thanking for that of all things. 

Although they were apprehensive, Fili and Kili smiled back at their uncle, who then directed his attention to Fili. 

“I couldn’t have chosen anyone more capable than you to watch over and protect her. When you volunteered yourself for the task at Bag End, I admit I held a certain level of doubt that she might hold an influence over you and cloud your judgement, but you proved yourself plenty capable. And after having learned that Y/N was Mahal’s blessing to us, I realize now that having you guarding her is the best possible choice. We need each other now more than ever.”

“Uh, thank you, uncle. I gave you my word not to disappoint you,” Fili managed, still a bit off put. Kili raised a questioning eyebrow but remained silent. 

Thorin hummed thoughtfully. “I had no doubt that you would honor it.”

Kili looked between them carefully weighing the situation, both not knowing where the discussion was supposed to go and both having raised their guards and not daring to interject until he was finished. 

Thorin gave a pleased look and clapped Fili on the shoulder. “I am proud of you for perseverance and dedication. But the reason that I wanted to speak with both of you is because there is a matter that I must discuss, and it concerns her…”

“What is it?” Fili asked. Kili kept looking between them, suspicious of what Thorin wanted from them. He didn’t want to think about his earlier worries of Thorin possibly fancying her, but he couldn’t help but become increasingly cautious with how he should answer and approach the matter as a whole. He’d promised Fili he’d back off, but that didn’t mean he still wouldn’t help him. 

“Y/N and I have had many discussions of late, as you know,” Thorin stopped to regard them and they waited patiently for him to continue. “But lately I cannot shake the feeling that she might be keeping a secret from me.”

Kili furrowed his brow, he and Fili exchanged a confused look. Unsure of where he was going with this. Kili asked, “Meaning what, exactly?”

Thorin’s brows furrowed and he took up a light pacing with his hands behind his back.

“Y/N spends the most time with the two of you. Has she mentioned anything about what else is to come? Or perhaps about… me?”

Fili swallowed a lump forming in his throat as all of Kili’s insistence regarding their private discussions came rocketing back to him. He felt Kili press into his side and Thorin raised an eyebrow at both of their silences. Fili couldn’t seem to find any words over the ache forming in his chest, and Kili hastily jumped in for him.

“No, why do you ask?” 

“I have a theory that she knows more than she lets on. I have tried obtaining this information from her but she shows a certain reluctance. So, I’ve been biding my time watching for signs,” Thorin started, speculating more to himself than them. “Y/N once told me that when a vision begins, the first thing she experiences is a static in her ears and then a warmth in her arms where her runes are located before she loses consciousness. She said that before she comes to, she communicates with a voice of some kind but that she has no idea who or what it is due to losing her memory. When she succumbed to her vision today, I thought that perhaps the runes might be causing her more physical harm or draining her life force, perhaps even leaving a message from that entity, but… I am relieved to learn that is not the case if only that it doesn’t endanger her health.”

“Is that why you made me check her arms?” Fili asked with hope, still not entirely approving of this choice, but feeling better at learning it wasn’t being done for selfish reasons or because he might… No, Fili wasn’t about to entertain _ that _awful thought. 

Thorin gave a solemn nod. 

“Aye.”

“So, what did you need to discuss with us exactly? I trust it wasn’t only to give praise or enlighten us on the specifics of Y/N’s physical response to visions,” Kili asked rather boldly, folding his arms. It wasn’t like Thorin to skirt around; he was usually blunt and to the point. 

“You are certain that Y/N hasn’t given either of you any further insight on this quest?”

“Isn’t that what your talks are for?” Fili questioned.

“As I said, she is withholding information from me. I should like to be well-informed, but it is possible that she may not be as… accepting to divulge certain aspects of her visions if they seem to involve us directly. Do you remember the trolls?”

Fili felt an inward pang at that, still feeling responsible for how that resulted. He and Kili nodded. 

Thorin said, “After she discussed her vision with Balin, Gandalf, and myself, she pulled our Master Burglar aside to whisper in his ear. I am thinking she is selective and discreet in who she trusts in the finer details of her Sight.” He paused to let that sink in before asking what he really brought them out to talk about, “Has she pulled either of you aside to inform you of her last vision regarding the goblins?”

“No.” They replied. 

Thorin leveled a stare on them, as if he were pondering if they were being truthful or not, but then he nodded. “I see. All right, then I would like the both of you to get as much information from her as you can, however possible. I want your eyes and ears on her every move.”

Kili frowned, piecing everything together. “Wait… you want us to _ spy _on her?”

“In a manner of speaking, yes.”

“Uncle!” 

Fili looked on, incredulous at Thorin’s calm demeanor about what he was asking of them. “I don’t feel comfortable sneaking behind her back like that, Thorin. Just talk to her if there’s something you need to know!” Fili insisted. 

“If that got me anywhere, I would not be coming to you with this request, though I will say that I will continue to try to get her to open up. We cannot afford any setbacks on this quest, and I will do whatever is necessary to ensure its success. Someday you will understand that there are times when we need to go through extra measures in ways we would prefer not to all for the better good. Can I trust you two with this?”

The two shuffled in place, clearly uncomfortable. Fili added, “We’ll do what we can. At the very least, could you not give up on Y/N? She may very well tell you what you need to know if you just ask her. We can speak to Bilbo and Bofur, if you’d like, just promise me that you’ll continue trying with her.”

Thorin nodded once. 

“You have my word. For now, we will let Y/N be; I want her properly fed and rested before we resume our talks. But I would like you to start with Bofur first, he was the last person she spoke to before she collapsed.”

* * * * *

After the three of them parted ways, the Durin brothers volunteered to scout for a water source so they could indulge in their thoughts and hopefully find a place that they all could go to bathe. Mahal knew the lot could use it, especially after all the walking they’ve been doing out in the sun.

Fili was relieved that there didn’t appear to be an underlying hint of personal interest towards the lass from Thorin, but the sudden breach on what was once such an impossible idea now left him feeling unsettled and jarred. Thankfully, Kili didn’t make any comment about it. As far as private talks go, at least Thorin wasn’t telling them that he would be staking his claim on her. It could have been worse. 

But still… Fili didn’t like the idea of pressing her for information about her visions just to report back to Thorin. She was already secretive about her nightmares and she appreciated Fili’s understanding in giving her time and space to deal with them in her own way. He did understand his uncle’s point; they were on a tight schedule. But if the lass had been dreaming of their journey countless times, Fili assumed she knew what she was doing and had faith in her judgement. 

“Well, at least he’s giving you the okay to spend more time with her!” Kili ventured, trying to find some form of positivity in the difficult situation they were being put into. He didn’t agree at all to what they were to be doing, but he figured that this would be the perfect opportunity for Fili and Y/N to get closer. Kili did worry that Thorin might be hiding another secret of his own, but based on the look on Fili’s face, Kili didn’t have the heart to bring it up. 

“He wants us to spy on her, Kee.”

Based on Fili’s tone, he wasn’t any more happy about it than he was, but Kili had a plan to make this work in their favor. He gave Fili’s shoulder a nudge with his own. 

“Think of it this way… we can talk to get more information from her, but that doesn’t mean we need to pry into her affairs per se.”

Fili’s pace slowed and he quirked an eyebrow at him. Kili took that as a sign to continue and he tried to sound encouraging. “Thorin _ wants _you to spend time with Y/N; take advantage of that opportunity to woo her!”

Fili mulled over that thought, skeptical at first. But then...

“Surely he doesn’t expect us to succeed overnight…”

Kili smiled. “Aye.”

“So it could be quite a many nights before we have any insight, if any at all,” he finished with heavy implication 

“Exactly! Who knows, perhaps we won’t be able to get any information from the lass. And if she’s starting to fancy you now, this special time together may be the nudge you need to win her favor,” Kili exclaimed deviously. Fili locked Kili in a friendly, brotherly chokehold. Kili struggled to get out his grip to no avail and suffered audibly through a noogie. 

“Have I mentioned how much I liked the way you think?”

Kili grunted and struggled under Fili’s strong hold, “I could stand to hear it more often, but I’d prefer if you expressed your gratitude another way—OW! Fee, my hair, let go!”

Fili held on a moment longer before he released him with a laugh and Kili pouted while rearranging his wild mane. 

The two scouted out a ways further but couldn’t find any nearby water sources to use, so they doubled back and planned out tactics on how best to approach their plan while also appeasing Thorin. They both were certain that Y/N would tell Thorin exactly what he needed to know on her own terms and saw no point in hurting her trust in them by being sneaky about it. The last thing Fili wanted was to push her away. But he also didn’t want to disappoint Thorin. After all, he may have assigned the task to both of them, but it was to Fili he was speaking. Which insinuated that the failure or success were to rest solely on his shoulders. 

It wasn’t any different from how he was treated back at home. And though Thorin’s praise came few and far inbetween, all Fili sought was his approval in all that he did. It was ingrained in him to make his family proud. 

But when it came to Y/N and betraying her trust… that would not come easily. Actually, it wouldn’t come at all. It was a conflicting battle within Fili on wanting not only Thorin’s approval, but Y/N’s as well. For totally different reasons, of course. But he felt confident in this new plan of theirs. 

“I say we just ask her outright on Thorin’s behalf and bypass all this nonsense,” Fili mentioned as they neared camp.

“I agree,” Kili held his hands up. “But Thorin will still be expecting us to interrogate her ‘tactfully’. If she hasn’t already told him all that she knows, there’s probably a reason for it. And if she hasn’t told _ us _ then maybe there really isn’t anything _ to _know and Thorin is being paranoid. I still say you should use this to your advantage, maybe you can get her to open more about her talks with Thorin and find out—”

“Oh, Kili, not this again.”

Kili kicked Fili in the bum and hopped out of reach of Fili’s incoming smack. 

“Just a suggestion, brother!”

Fili shook his head and followed Kili the Imp back to camp. The fire was already going and the smell of meat cooking was a very welcome aroma in his nose. Even though they didn’t find water to refill their water skins or locate a good bathing place, at least they would all have a warm meal in their bellies; something Y/N definitely needed it. 

After reporting their water situation to Thorin, he canted his head in Bofur’s direction, indicating that Fili get on with his task. He pursed his lips with a sigh but made his way over to him. He wanted to check up on Y/N first, but that would have to come later. It made Fili smile at the very many “laters” this woeful task would grant him. 

“Evening, Bofur,” Fili greeted upon his approach. 

Bofur looked up at him from the hunk of wood he was whittling on. “Oi there, Fili! To what do I owe this pleasure?”

Fili sat down beside him, eyeing his work with genuine interest. It was still in its early stages of sculpting, so it took no real form yet. Fili wasn’t a particularly good sculptor, but he always admired the craftsmanship. As Bofur continued to idly whittle away waiting for him to speak, he decided to be blunt about it. 

“I wanted to ask you about Y/N, actually.”

Bofur’s fingers stilled and his moustache twitched up in a knowing smirk.

“Oh?” he drawled curiously. He set aside his wood project and gave Fili his full attention. 

“Well now, what is there to say about our maiden fair…” Bofur sighed, twirling the curl in his facial hair and eyeing Fili’s puzzled expression from the side. “Or rather, what did ye want to know?”

“Has she ever pulled you aside to speak to you about any, er, secretive matters?” Fili asked. Bofur tilted his head but considered the question, trying to guess what Fili meant by “secretive”. His smirk widened.

“In what sense, lad?”

Fili shrugged his shoulders and gestured around. “The quest, Thorin… you, me, anybody? Anything?”

Bofur squinted at him before leaning in close while Fili angled his head away. He wasn’t sure what called for that silly look on his face, but he was sure that whatever he was trying to ask wasn’t getting through. 

“Friends never tell other friends’ secrets, Fili,” Bofur said deeply. 

He didn’t expect to get any answer, but Fili was actually pleased at Bofur’s loyalty to Y/N. But now he was feeling a little jealous; Bofur was implying that he and Y/N had secrets. What secrets could they possibly be sharing together? What did she tell him that Fili didn’t know about? 

“Is there something she isn’t telling us then?” 

More like, “is there something she told you and not me?” but Fili kept that big jealous statement to himself.

Bofur’s grin faltered when his eyes swept over to the place Y/N was sitting. Fili followed his gaze and felt his heart flutter in his chest at the way her face glowed in the firelight. Her hair was slightly unkempt and would need some replaiting. He knew she longed for a bath just as much as they all did and felt a bit defeated that he couldn’t bring good news to her. When his mind began to drift on thoughts of her bathing and what it must look like to see her bare skin glistening with wetness and her hair slicked and dripping with water, his blood warmed. To avoid a rather uncomfortable situation in the company of another male, Fili shook his head free of those thoughts and focused on Bofur.

“Actually, there was somethin’ she said earlier,” he said, his eyes shifting to Fili’s. They held a little sadness in them. “But it’s not really fer me to repeat.”

“Was it about her vision? That wasn’t like the others, Bofur. She must have been so scared and confused… I should have been closer, maybe I could have done something,” Fili frowned. 

Bofur regarded him with a warm expression, his eyes scanning his face. “Ye really care fer the lass, don’t ya?”

Fili quickly broke eye contact and shrugged carelessly. “Well, she is a lass, Bofur. Placed in a strange land from a god, gifted with special abilities. She needs caring for.”

Fili continued making it a point to avoid eye contact and Bofur merely chuckled and clapped him on the knee. “Aye. And I say she’s in very good hands in that regard, Prince Fili. Very good hands, indeed. Well then!” Bofur stood and stretched his arms behind his back, grunting as he spoke, “I’m going to see how far along Bombur is fer dinner, this was a nice chat! Let’s have some more another time.”

At the sign that this conversation was now over, Fili joined him on his feet and nodded his head in parting. He was bothered at the knowledge that Bofur was keeping from him and realized that this was probably exactly how Thorin felt. Thinking you were close only to find that Before he left, Bofur caught his arm and leaned in to whisper, “She hasn’t spoken to me about her visions, and I won’t say what we talked about, but I will say this: Y/N needs to know that she has friends here. Especially one who cares as much as you do.”

When he pulled away, he winked, tipped his hat, and left Fili to his thoughts. 

_ What on earth did she say to him? _ Fili wondered.

* * *

Well after supper was eaten and sleep was in the process of being had, Y/N fidgeted in her bedroll. After having such a long sleep—in Fili’s _ arms_— her schedule was all whacked and she was wide awake. Which wasn’t exactly very favorable to her considering how she was very unnerved and anxious and could have used the opportunity to shut her brain up by shutting it off with the relief that sleep granted. 

Y/N didn’t have a vision earlier. She met with that disembodied voice.

It wasn’t long enough for her to be able to address any of her primary questions and concerns, but she was starting to get an idea of what her visions were for. Her mind reeled back to earlier that day when she was sucked into that energy of light. 

* * * * *

_ Y/N braced herself to be thrust into yet another scary upcoming situation that she had dreamed of countless times before. But before she could take in her surroundings, a deep familiar voice echoed around her. _

_ “Be at ease, you are safe.” _

_ Dropping her hands from her face, Y/N looked around and saw nothing but a soft white glow accompanied by thick fog. It was an endless space with no real light source even though it had to be coming from somewhere. There didn’t appear to be any beginning or ending to this place. As if she were in a cloud or at the Gates of Heaven. _

_ Wait a minute… _

_ “Am I dead?!” she shrieked. Before she could panic, the white glow had begun to fade into a forest landscape bathed in sunlight and she relaxed only slightly as she waited for her answer. _

_ There was a smile in the voice as it clarified to her, “You are not dead. And we do not have much time here, but you have been wanting to speak with me, so I am granting you my audience.” _

_ Y/N’s mind raced, acknowledging that whatever this voice was is the entity that was sending her these “tasks” to do. Perhaps it was the same entity she’s been seeing this entire time that seemed to erase itself from her memory. Having no idea how much time they _ did _ have, she struggled with which of her many questions to start with. The words and sentences bombarded themselves at her lips, leaping in line over each other demanding attention as she stuttered in response. _

_ “What am I supposed to do here?” she blurted. Y/N had to facepalm herself of all important things she wanted to ask, _ that _ was what ended up coming out. _

_ “You are the Guardian and Savior of the line of Durin,” came the factual reply. _

_ “But why me? Why was I chosen?” _

_ As the vision around her cleared up further, the whiteness of the cloud-like atmosphere began to give way to the forest she was standing in. Although she was in the company of the mysterious voice, she was alone. At least until a figure from in the distance was walking towards her. She couldn’t make out its silhouette. _

_ “This was your choice. You do not remember now, daughter of Ilúvatar, but you will in time. In order for your transfer from Earth to Middle Earth to succeed, certain precautions had to be made to ensure your safety. Your mind is such a fragile thing; so very different from my children’s.” _

_ The figure drew closer and Y/N squinted at it, trying to make out who or what it was as other aspects of the landscape slowly began to form around her. It was definitely male, whatever it was. And it was large. Something about it daunted her. Y/N clearly had no recollection of making any choices, but decided to trust in this voice that she’d “eventually” remember. _

_ “What about my tasks, then? Am I even doing them right!?” _

_ “That remains to be seen.” A brief pause followed. “We will meet again soon, Y/N, I must return you now. Their fate remains in your hands. I am looking forward to your final decision.” _

_ “What final decision? Hey, wait, I still have more questions!” Y/N shouted at the voice. No response came, however, and as she felt the familiar tug on her body on the force that would soon project her back to consciousness, the figure that drew closer from the distance was now in full focus. She froze in fear. In all honesty, she had forgotten all about him. And he seemed to look right at her even though she knew somehow that he couldn’t. _

_ Taking a tentative step back, Azog, the pale Orc, smiled down at her with insidious delight on his white Warg mount. The sky became black, alight with fire as her friends could slowly be heard shouting from behind her. Another Orc approached her, appearing in a puff of smoke at Azog’s side. It lifted its arm with his weapon in hand, but right before it could land its killing blow, she was pulled back to wakefulness. _

_ If Fili hadn’t been holding her, she would have gone down again. Azog was still out there. And somehow she knew that there was nothing in her power that would keep him and Thorin from their surprise reunion following the goblin city. _

* * * * *

God, she couldn’t believe she actually _ spoke _to that entity! And remembered what they discussed! Replaying his answers over and over in her head only added more questions to her ever growing list. It was possible that her memory suffered at some point when she traveled here, and that would explain why she can’t remember what she was doing beforehand. But she had a feeling that the nightmares she’d been having were bits and pieces of it coming back to her. 

Happy thought. And another reason why sleep eluded her. It was like it didn’t want to add any more trauma to this confusing mess that was already there. Who the hell was she speaking to anyway?

The fire crackled in the pit and a few Dwarves were already sawing logs, so any hope of getting comfortable was proving to be impossible on top of everything else keeping her up. With a sigh of frustration she rolled over only to see Fili watching her with an amused grin a couple feet away. Y/N smirked back at him and propped up on her elbow. 

“Is my inability to sleep amusing to you?” she whispered to him. 

“Little bit.”

“Aren’t you tired?” 

He gave her a pensive look and held his palm out to her. “How can anybody sleep with you tossing and turning for hours. You’re worse than Bombur’s snores.”

Y/N gasped and stuck her tongue out at him and they shared a giggle. He looked around briefly before silently gesturing if he would be welcomed to join her over there so they wouldn’t need to whisper shout. She nodded and waved him over. 

He was never too far away to begin with,so he quickly scooted over and propped up on his elbow beside her and they continued speaking in hushed voices. 

“Are you all right from earlier?” he asked, concern replaced the playfulness in his tone.

Y/N thought of the entity and her pivotal role for being brought to Middle Earth. Her eyes sought and held Fili’s, which mirrored her unease. The Guardian and Savior of the Durin line was her own choice. What other decision was she intended to make? Thinking back to before the meeting happened, Y/N remembered what Bofur said to her before she collapsed, that she had friends here. Seeing the genuine worry in Fili’s eyes had warmed her up from the chill in the air, and she felt guilty for ever thinking that Fili would only be kind to her out of obligation. It wasn’t in his nature, he was a caregiver at heart. It was one of his many qualities that made him so lovable to her. 

“What?” he asked again, noting the growing smile on her face.

“I’m always needing to thank you for something or other for your kindness.” 

He switched between resting on his cheek on his palm to his bearded chin and furrowed his brows at her. “Ah, is this about carrying you? It was no trouble at all. Really.”

Y/N reached out and placed her hand on the arm that wasn’t holding his head up. “Well, trouble or no, it still means a lot to me that you care enough to look after me all the time. You have enough to worry about as it is with watching over your brother, fighting off Orcs, preparing for your future, and… I’m just so grateful.”

Fili’s eyes bored into hers and she wondered if maybe that was too awkward to say and contemplated backpedaling with a joke or something. He swallowed and looked down at where their hands were joined and shifted his hold on her so that he was the one who was holding Y/N’s hand. His voice seemed a little deeper now, and it sent butterflies aflutter in her stomach.

“Y/N, I would do anything for you.”

She hoped he couldn’t feel how hard her heart was pumping as he held her hand and wasn’t sure if he was saying so in a romantic sense or not; Y/N tested him before she made a fool of herself or made him regret touching her. 

“Anything?”

“Anything.”

With his hand still in hers, she made a show of thinking about that, humming to herself in contemplation. “Would you… climb the highest mountain for me?”

“If you were in need of rescuing? Of course,” he smirked. Okay, that didn’t exactly tell her anything. She tried again with a giggle. 

“Okay. Would you swim the widest ocean?”

Fili’s face dropped a little, embarrassed. “I… cannot swim very well.”

Her eyebrows shot up in surprise. This was news to her. Then again, they didn’t exactly need to do any swimming that didn’t involve bathing, but she was still a bit shocked to learn this. She wondered who else among them couldn’t swim, hoping there wouldn’t be a situation when she’d have to brush up on her CPR. 

Fili noted her look of surprise and pulled his hand back, avoiding her eyes. “I may not be able to swim the widest ocean, but I know how to sail, if that works…?”

Y/N pulled back her own hand nonchalantly, ignoring the coldness it felt without his touch and how he wasn’t responding to any of these silly, romantic questions in a way that indicated any interest. She wasn’t discouraged, however. Just determined.

“It’ll do. But I really need to teach you how to swim. Y’know, to pay you back for teaching me how to swordfight.”

Fili smiled in response and Y/N continued, “So… you’d climb the highest mountain and sail the widest ocean for me, huh? What if I was miles and miles away and you had to foot it?”

“I’d walk a thousand miles to get to you, if I had to! I might fall down when I finally got there, though, but I’d still walk—what’s so funny?”

_ I would walk 500 miles _

_ And I would walk 500 more _

_ Just to be the man who walks a thousand miles _

_ To fall down at your door _

After reciting the lyrics from that popular Scottish band that his words reminded her of, Fili creased his brows in thought. “That is quite impressive… Are those common tests of dedication and strength that men have to prove for the hand of the woman they fancy where you’re from?” he asked unsurely. 

Y/N laughed at his innocent expression, trying to keep her voice down from the sleeping Company around them. “No, those are just the words from a song that you reminded me of. Nobody would ever be stupid enough to try anything _ that _dangerous just to show someone they liked them.”

Fili nodded in understanding and pondered on that a moment. 

“Then how does Man show their beloved his interests?”

“Well…” Y/N drifted off in thought. 

She had never been very popular with the opposite sex and only had a couple meaningful relationships; not exactly an expert on the matter of dating. And it was hard to fathom what was the norm in Middle Earth as opposed to her modern world. Everything was so different here… the manner of speaking, terminologies, the clothing, the people and races, societal normalities… It was all so old school, yet achingly familiar, like how things were for her people centuries ago. 

“Usually, you start off as friends getting to know each other. The guy takes the girl out for dinner, and if all goes well, they end the night with a kiss and keep in touch until the next date. And if there’s a real spark after all that, he’ll ask her out.”

Fili’s brows popped. “A kiss? So soon? Before asking for courtship?” 

She bit her lip to keep from laughing. It was adorable how innocent he was, but that was just another difference in their societal norms when it was okay for people to kiss before they got involved. He recapped on what he learned, “So, you have to start as friends first, then the man presents the lady with a meal, and asks her to go for an outing?”

“Not an outing. Asking someone out means that you want to date.” Fili still didn’t quite seem to understand the term, so she clarified with, “as in ask to be in a romantic relationship with one another.”

“Oh, I see! Interesting… does the man prepare the meal himself?”

“Not really. The whole dating scene is kinda cliche; my last couple boyfriends didn’t really do anything to stand out from the others, and maybe that’s why we didn’t last very long. I feel like you need to do something really special for the one you care about instead of following the same, boring routine everyone else is doing. Maybe I just have high standards,” she shrugged. “I like to be wow’d.”

“I see nothing wrong with a challenge—” Fili’s eyes widened and he stiffened. “By boyfriends do you mean… you have had more than one suitor in your time? Is someone waiting for you back at home?”

“No, no, no! God, no!” Y/N cringed at the thought of her exes resurfacing in her memory. But then she couldn’t help but feel a little relieved, if not sad for herself. She did miss being with somebody, but no one fit the bill back at home. It was better not to have anyone waiting for her if she had no idea when, or if, she’d even make it back there. Especially since she already had it in deep for Fili now. 

Y/N tried not to look into how visibly relaxed Fili looked as he picked his fingerless gloves to keep him occupied. “Did you… have many partners? Or ever married?”

“Never married. I’d love to someday… I’ve only dated three guys in my life but they weren’t marriage material. The first one was way back in grade school when I was seven and didn’t know any better, so I don’t count that at all.” 

Fili chuckled at that but kept his eyes down on his gloves. “And the others?”

Ah, the trip down memory lane to lovers past. Y/N hadn’t spoken about them in so long, but found that talking about them now with Fili came very easy to her. They talked about everything, so she didn’t mind telling him. A selfish, lovesick part of her wanted to know what Fili thought so she could gain a better understanding of the male mind in Middle Earth standards.

“My first serious relationship was with Bryan. He was my first everything… I thought we’d last, but after the first year things went south and he changed for the worst. I was blind to how poorly he was treating me until I couldn’t take it anymore and finally woke up and realized that I deserved better. I broke up with him after two years of dating after finding out that he lied consistently to me about everything, cheated on me not only with his ex-girlfriend, but my best friend, and he emotionally abused me for basically the entire time we dated.” As she reminisced, a shadow passed over her face as she relived that fiasco. It happened so long ago, and she long since moved on from him, but it still stung to be treated so poorly by the one person who was supposed to love and nurture you the most. 

“How dare he! That despicable, dishonorable cad!” Fili growled, glaring into the ground with an intensity that Y/N had never seen on him before. She could easily see Thorin’s ire in that expression. Must be a family trait. He flicked his eyes up to hers and showed her a deep compassion that touched her. She smiled weakly at him. 

“And the second?” he asked gently. 

Y/N rolled her eyes at that other failed attempt at finding true love. “The other was Henry. He was everything Bryan wasn’t, at least at first. We dated for five years, and we still hadn’t moved in or made any plans for the future -- I really loved him and I wanted to know where he saw our relationship going and the day I asked was the day he told me that he didn’t love me anymore and found someone else. They broke up five weeks later and he came crawling back saying he made a huge mistake, but that’s his problem. I wasn’t going to fall back into that trap again.”

“Oh, Y/N…” Fili reached out for her hand again and squeezed. She shrugged and avoided his eyes this time, already on the brink of tears and she didn’t want him to think it still bothered her. Y/N squeezed his hand back.

“We have a word for scum like that,” he spat distastefully. He uttered a phrase to her that she didn’t understand, but from the sound of it, it obviously wasn’t very favorable. 

“What does that mean?”

Fili wrinkled his nose at her. “I shouldn’t have even said it in front of you… essentially, it means they were fools who didn’t deserve the beautiful heart you have to offer and they should perish with grime for beards. Gods, how could anyone not want a future with you in it? I’m sorry for my bluntness, but the men from your world have peas for brains.”

The comment made her laugh and he chuckled along with her. 

“It’s a guy thing, I guess… they follow their peckers to greener pastures or are only really in it to get in your pants, or lose interest once the chase is done. It happens to tons of women all the time.”

Fili snorted out his disagreement. “Maybe for _ human _men, but dwarrows certainly don’t act that way.”

Y/N quirked a disbelieving eyebrow and Fili jostled her hand to get her to stop. “I swear on my braids it’s true! It’s not how we were crafted; dwarrows and dwarrowdams… we can only love once in our entire lifetime. Our hearts are made for our One,” his eyes searched hers and she blushed at what she saw in his. “âzyungel, love of all loves. Even if they don’t love us in return, we will love no other and have no other.”

Y/N blinked at him as he stared back at her, inviting the questions she was obviously trying to formulate. All things considered, that was probably the most romantic thing she’d ever heard. Why couldn’t all men be like that? Christ, it would save people from a lot of heartbreak! Something about how Fili was looking at her was filling Y/N with hope. She could only pray that that precious hope wouldn’t be misinterpreted and crushed to dust in her chest. 

Emboldened by his explanation, she looked down at their hands and then back to his deep blue eyes. Something in the air changed between them as a moment began to formulate, filling it with electricity. It gave her tingles, made her nervous and not the least bit, well, _ excited_. 

“Oh? And do Dwarves only feel that way for their own race?” she asked huskily. 

Fili’s voice lowered, “No.”

Her eyes darted between his lips and his eyes, then roamed over his handsome face, longing to learn what it might feel like. Taste like... 

“How do you know when you’ve found them?” 

He didn’t answer right away, but she caught him regarding her seriously for a moment and her hopes climbed desperately higher. It was crazy to believe for an instant that he was considering her for his own One, right? Wasn’t this hypothetical? A heart to heart? It was painful trying to side between whether he was teasing, flirting, or being serious. If her heart could beat any faster, it would burst out of her chest and ruin everything. 

“You just know. You feel it right here, sure as if you’ve been struck with an arrow,” he pounded his chest once to demonstrate. She watched as his pupils began to eat away at the blues in his eyes and dared herself to lean a little closer. He remained in place but watched her every move in welcome. 

She opened her mouth to ask him, to tease, if he was implying he felt that way about her when a large object landed between them with a heavy thud. 

They jerked apart and looked down at the stinky boot greeting them and then… the moment was gone. 

“Y/N, Fili, lad, it’s been a long day of walkin’ and if you don’t stop yer mumblin’ about so I can get some proper shut eye, I promise the next thing I toss will be much less blunt and all the more sharp.” Came the irked voice of Gloin.

The sound of Gloin’s voice had begun rousing some of the others, who told him to shut his gob. 

Y/N’s cheeks were completely red, feeling like the two of them were caught doing something inappropriate. Which might actually have been the case... _ if they went uninterrupted for just a friggin’ moment longer, Gloin! _ Y/N seethed at him. Fili looked over his shoulder at him with an apologetic whisper. He cast another look Thorin's way to gauge how much trouble he was in, but his uncle was dead asleep. Complete with his mouth hanging agape, his head slumped uncomfortably in the position he fell asleep in. 

Grabbing the boot and flinging it back to Gloin, who grunted in response, Fili faced Y/N again with a parting wink.

“That’s our cue to go to bed I suppose!” He paused, looking her over again. “Sleep well, Just Y/N.”

“Goodnight Prince Charming,” she returned sassily. It threw him off guard for a moment but made him smile anyway; her favorite one, with the dimples. 

Y/N watched Fili amptly return to his bed roll and spared her one last smile before he rolled over to get comfortable. 

Even though finding sleep was still proving to be difficult, her racing heart was the only welcome item added on the list of things keeping Y/N awake. She didn’t mind at all.

* * * * *

As Fili laid in his bedroll, he felt like he was floating. He was completely elated and giddy. And also a bit disappointed. It really seemed like Y/N had a mind to kiss him just then and even though that would have been a huge no-no, he would have happily allowed it to happen. Damn Gloin and his damn boot! 

Oh well… Fili was too hyped to dwell on it too much. He had learned about such an intimate piece of Y/N’s life and was honored that she chose to be open to him about it. It gave him the fuel and encouragement he needed to win her favor and show her his hear.

The idea that anyone found it fit to treat a special treasure like her so poorly had angered him. And though he wished he could curse them for their stupidity, he did send them a prayer of thanks, for if not for their despicable behavior, Y/N might not be a free woman. 

Fili formulated a plan on the best way to, as she put, “wow” her. Y/N wanted something special? By Mahal, he was going to give her something she’d remember for the rest of her days! Too excited to sleep, Fili looked up at the stars, a deep dimpled smile stuck on his face. 

Kili, having overheard basically the entire conversation since he was the closest to them, was all smiles, too. 

“Go get her, brother!” he cheered under his breath. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoping you and your families are staying safe, healthy, entertained, or just hanging in there during this quarantine! I apologize for the very long wait for this chapter; amidst preparing for this whole pandemic I thought that I'd have more time for writing, but ALAS. In addition to that, I've been struggling through some personal issues lately that just zapped my will to write anything. But rest assured that this is not a project I intend to abandon! It may take me a while to post at times, but I love this story too much not to finish. 
> 
> These are difficult times to be sure, but we're all in this together! In line with that, I made this chapter a bit longer than usual, so I hope my story can help to give some light to these dark times for you all, if only on a chapter by chapter basis. <333


	14. I'll Never Drop My Sword

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big 'ol thanks to everyone who's left kudos and comments on this lil dabble of a story and a special shout out once again to Laura and her magnificent brain! Your help has been so appreciated as I've continued on with this story. And seeing how many of you support this is very humbling; be that as a silent reader, a new one, or one who was with me since the start, I had no idea just how much love this would be getting back when I begun. Thanks again for all the love and stay safe and healthy! <3
> 
> Also, for any readers who have a hard time reading past "Y/N" inputs, here's something that might help your reading experience (this isn't mine, so if you have any questions, you should probably contact the creator): https://interactivefics.tumblr.com/about
> 
> As always, I hope you enjoy this chapter and excuse any editing mistakes.

The next morning after breakfast, Bilbo was still feeling mighty hungry. Usually by now he’d have had a sizable first breakfast including thick slices of bacon, four eggs—at least—and three, fluffy pieces of buttered toast with homemade raspberry jam. But today, they all ate the remainder of their bread that was gifted to them by the Elves of Rivendell and were given some salty jerky that Bofur made for them that he saved for a surprise. 

The Dwarves savored the tough, overly seasoned flesh in their mouths like it was a decadent treat. Meanwhile Bilbo and Y/N seemed to be the only ones having trouble chewing the damn thing let alone trying not to drool all over the place from the salt that was used to dehydrate it. But once they overcame the salt, the other spices were well worth the ache in their jaws. _ Dwarves and their meats… _ Bilbo sighed. But they managed to get their fill of the protein to tide them over until the afternoon. 

Now, the Dwarves’ weapons were out and being sharpened and Y/N was sharpening her sword right along with them under Thorin’s watchful eye. The Hobbit studied them and how they interacted with one another so he could come to a decision about what he thought was—or more likely wasn’t—going on. 

Kili’s inquiry a couple nights ago didn’t strike him as anything out of the ordinary, but now that he was observing them with a different view, he wondered if maybe there _ was _something there after all. He was wistful towards Kili for planting these seeds in his head to start and silently cursed him for it. He never was partial for gossip, much like most Hobbits tended to be. Curious, yes, but not prone to butt his nose in anyone’s business.

That said, he felt that this was more for observational purposes than anything. Thorin wasn’t as quick with Y/N anymore, he was much more patient and his eyes were locked on her like a dog guarding its bone. What was more, he was so much nicer to her than he was with Bilbo. Then again, the only other method of comparison Bilbo had was his own personal interactions with the Dwarf. Thorin was still as brash and brusque with him as ever. And Y/N was welcomed, quite ceremoniously, into the fold as a gift from their Maker. Bilbo was happy for her, but it only served to make him feel even more out of place than before. At least they shared a common ground being outsiders before. Now who could he relate to?

And, confound it all, how long would it be until _ he _was accepted among them, too? Bilbo’s toes wiggled and dug into the cool earth as he stewed in his thoughts while trying desperately not to wallow in his self-pity over yearning the acceptance from a cantankerous old grouch—

“Keep going.” Came Thorin’s deep voice. 

Bilbo looked up at them from his spot on the ground as he waited for everyone to finish. 

Y/N stared at Thorin in fatigued disbelief. She shook out the hand that was holding a smooth, square stone that was a tad too big for her hands and reluctantly resumed running it down the blade in specific strokes as Thorin watched. After a few beats more, she looked at him again with an inquiring look in her eyes. 

Thorin crossed his arms. “Keep going, I said.”

Y/N didn’t look very pleased, but she readjusted her sitting position, shook out her arm again, flexed her fingers, and went at swiping her blade with renewed vigor, agitation clear on her face. 

If that were Bilbo, Thorin wouldn’t have even bothered. 

Fili had sharpened Bilbo’s own “sword” for him before tending to his axes, and with nothing left to do but wait, Bilbo indulged in looking around camp, wishing he had something to do to occupy his time rather than idly sit. He wanted to be useful, instead, his eyes kept darting back to Y/N and Thorin as his mind churned all sorts of questions. He watched as Thorin instructed Y/N and how closely he was standing over her. How close was considered “too close”?

Bilbo wrinkled his nose a couple times. 

“Hm. It’s probably nothing…” he said under his breath. After Y/N finished up with sharpening her blade to Thorin’s satisfaction, he held out his hand to help her up and Bilbo tried not to fool himself into thinking that their touch lingered longer than necessary, or that Thorin’s eyes continued to seek her out even after they set off for the day. 

Fili walked beside Y/N and the two of them jumped into a hearty banter of something or other. Bilbo noticed that the looks Thorin gave them increased at that. 

Could he be jealous of his own nephew? Bilbo couldn’t hold back a snort of laughter at that ridiculous thought. 

“What’s so funny, laddie?” Balin asked him. 

“Nothing, it’s nothing—probably,” Bilbo finished under his breath, unsure as to who he was trying to convince. And why.

* * *

As everyone continued onward, the hilly plains they traversed through as the company ventured farther and farther from Rivendell bled into beautiful mountainsides. The deeper they delved into the wild, the more snow was seen dusted on the mountains until it was all a blaring white blanket; like a lumpy chocolate mound covered with powdered sugar. Y/N looked over in awe of it all, unable to tear her eyes away. Having lived in the city surrounded by palm trees and beaches all her life, she had never seen anything so beautiful in her home that could rival the majesty of an area capable of continuous cold. 

Despite being so close, yet so far, from the snow, the air was still a comfortable chill surrounding them while they marched on. Growing up in a tropical climate would do little to prepare her for an actual winter and Y/N wondered if the clothing the Rivendell Elves packed her would be enough to stave off the cold. Her hands found the pouch filled with silver that Bofur gave her as thanks for revealing the outcome as to whether or not Bilbo would join them on the quest when they first set off from the Shire. She hoped that whatever the amount contained would be enough to buy additional supplies when they all approached the next town. 

_ If _ they approached the next town… Thorin certainly had shown no signs of venturing off course and Y/N didn’t recall any pit stops being made in her dreams. There was no telling when they’d next see civilization again. 

Fili noticed Y/N’s frequent looks over at the snowy landscape and tried to read the emotions flirting across her face. He didn’t say so to her, but he has been on guard for another vision the moment they left camp and noted every step she took and every expression she made as he looked out for clues; for the first tip-off that something was wrong. So far so good.

His eyes joined her sight as they took in the stark whiteness of the mountainous terrain beside them and wondered if there was to be another situation approaching them that hadn’t been brought to light yet. Unless… something was capturing her attention out there, like the man she kept seeing. Fili wanted to ask, but he didn’t wish to draw in any unwanted ears. Thorin was just up ahead a few paces away, still close enough to overhear if he spoke too loudly. Fili tapped Y/N on the arm to get her attention and dropped his voice. 

“I couldn’t help but notice your frequent gazing over there,” he indicated his head for reference. “Should I be on guard for anything coming our way?”

“On guard for… oh! No, nothing’s coming,” she laughed, raising her voice a little. Fili relaxed into her laughter, feeling a warmth rising in his skin when her smile was directed his way, painting his cheeks with a hint of pink.

“Ah, just enjoying the view then?” Because he knows he sure was, and he wasn’t talking about the mountains, either. Fili could only imagine how intoxicating it would be if Y/N were to look upon him with the amount of admiration and yearning that she was directing towards the mountains. Blasted, lucky pieces of rock...

Y/N nodded, oblivious, looking back over to them. “I’ve never seen anything like it! The mountains are _ gorgeous_!”

_ Their beauty pales in comparison to yours, fair lady, _ Fili thought, meaning every corny, cliche word. To him, Y/N’s very soul was a treasure enough to bring even the most regal mountain to its knees in worship. And Fili would ever be more than willing to genuflect himself at her feet. 

“I would say, ‘wait until you see Erebor’, but I am assuming you already have in your dreams,” Thorin mused from ahead of them. He slowed his speed down until they matched in pace. 

Fili remained on Y/N’s left. 

“Yeah, but dreaming about something and then actually seeing it in person are two totally different experiences.”

“Indeed,” he replied coolly. 

“From what I recall, it’s _ massive_.”

Fili jumped in with, “Thorin and my mother have both told Kili and me many stories about Erebor over the years and even I know that I’ll likely be stunned to her glory when we finally see her in person.”

Thorin smiled fondly at him, eyes crinkling at the corners as he looked ahead, deep in sentiment. “Aye, Erebor truly has no equal. I am looking forward to having you both by my side when the doors are opened once more. There is so much I wish to show you of our forefathers’ illustrious kingdom that words just cannot do justice.”

Thorin continued making small mentions of his favorite places that he frequented in his youth and Y/N couldn’t help but smile at the pride she heard in his voice as he spoke of his home in his days of youth; such longing to finally return to it after being forced to leave in such a hurried, disastrous, terrifying way. Y/N knew how much Thorin must miss it. He’d been gone for decades at a time, after all. Y/N wondered how long it might be until she was able to return to her own home.

At the current moment, it didn’t seem like a possibility at all. And it was probably something she should have thought to ask about given the spur of the moment meeting with that mysterious entity that kept showing up unannounced. But considering how unprepared and flustered she was, Y/N couldn’t beat herself up over it. It’s not like she came out of that discussion with any less questions than answers. An agitated voice shook the girl out of her thoughts and back in focus. 

“What?” 

Thorin looked peeved, but he repeated himself indulgently anyway, “I said I imagine that it will be near winter by the time we arrive there. Have you the proper attire for the change in elements? Your pack seems rather bare.” 

“Why? Do you think it’ll snow on the way?” Y/N asked.

“Better prepared than not,” said Thorin and Fili in the same manner and methodical tone. 

Fili watched as Y/N bit her lip and looked over to take in the sight of mountains beside them again with renewed fascination and worry, and a realization struck him at the apprehension forming in her eyes. 

“You’ve never seen snow before, have you?”

When Y/N only looked guiltily over to him, he and Thorin expressed their surprise. “What kind of land does not have winter seasons?” he asked out loud. 

Y/N rolled her eyes. “I’m from a tropical peninsula, Thorin. I wasn’t kidding when I said that I lived in a land of perpetual summer. It never snows where I come from.”

Thorin eyed her pack with narrowed eyes, his gaze roaming and searching for something on her person before he sighed exasperatedly and shook his head. 

“If those damnable Elves didn’t pack appropriate garb for you, then we will have no choice but to make do with what we have,” he concluded. As if he were resigned to the idea before they even had a chance to fully discuss it. As per usual, his distaste for Elves had tainted his words with a deeply rooted venom, so it was obvious that he saw their past hosts as incompetant; he seemed to consistently be overlooking and conveniently forgetting that Elrond housed, bathed, and fed them free of board despite Thorin being so rude to him the entire time. And they all treated Y/N especially well and had given—and made—her clothing to wear when they could have just left her to her hand-me-downs and modern clothing. 

What more did he expect from them? Besides, Thorin's quest was a huge secret until Lord Elrond read the map; how were they to know where they all were traveling especially after they left so abruptly afterward?

Fili kept his mouth closed about his own opinions on the matter. While the two of their attention was taken, Fili gave Y/N a once over of stark approval. He absolutely loved what she was wearing. The outfit she was wearing now was the same style as the one she wore during their unorthodox camp in Rivendell, only the color scheme was blue, his house colors, and gold instead of green.

As stunning as she looked now, he wondered if it would be too much for him to hope to ever see her in a dress. Or… an ivory silken robe that left little to the imagination. His cheeks flushed thinking about what a vision she was, and the almost-kiss they were so close to sharing before they were so rudely—

Y/N huffed, “Well, maybe if we didn’t rush off so quickly, they may have been nice enough to pack me more suitable clothes.”

Fili snapped to attention, glad they were too caught up to notice him shifting uncomfortable as he walked. 

Thorin’s stern eyes shifted her way. “We haven’t a day to waste. We got what Gandalf brought us there for. You of all people should know; must be nice.” He tacked on dryly as he shot Fili a pointed look that Y/N didn’t understand. 

Y/N’s jaw clenched as she bit her tongue, but then Thorin sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I apologize, I meant no offense.” 

“It’s fine, I understand,” came the dry response. 

Thorin opened his mouth to say something else but thought better of it. A stoic mask slipped over his face before he nodded in their direction and marched ahead without another word. 

“You know,” Fili started after letting Y/N’s annoyance, and his personal thoughts, simmer down. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard Thorin apologize so much to one person before.”

“Oh, really? Well, don’t I feel special,” she demurred, kicking a rock off to the side. 

Fili’s voice was gentle and understanding. He knew better than anyone the effect Thorin tended to have over others. He was raised in a kingdom—_the _ kingdom—of the Dwarves of Middle Earth; he still held a sense of entitlement and pride for a life taken from him, and he wasn’t willing to give that part of himself up. Thorin was royalty down to his blood and bones and answered to no one.

“It isn’t a secret that my uncle is a very proud Dwarf—” that made Y/N snort in agreement—“Growing up being a prince, then losing his home, grandfather, and father in a steady decline of misfortune… it wasn’t easy for him to drop so far so quickly. I know he can be hard to deal with and his temper can be misguided and unwarranted, but Thorin is a good soul deep down. He cared and raised me and Kili when we lost our father, so I’ve known him my whole life.”

Y/N regarded Fili for a moment while they walked side by side, her previous annoyance melting away as she listened. 

“What I’m trying to say is, I can vouch for his character. Thorin requires just as much patience for you as you do him. It took a lot for him to be given demands by an otherworldly maiden and more—to be forced to abide by her conditions and terms,” Fili continued, smirking playfully at the snicker Y/N let out. “The only person who has ever given him such a talking to was my mother. That said, I’m frankly quite impressed you’ve managed to get…” Fili drifted and brought up his hand to count. “How many apologies from him thus far? It’s a rare occasion, to be sure.”

“Rare or not, I wish it was more few and far inbetween. I know him well enough to know that he’s not being harsh for the sake of being mean, and I’m trying to adjust to his personality without taking his words to heart,” Y/N shrugged. It seemed that her spirits were lifted higher for now. And Fili’s heart sunk a little as he understood just why she knew Thorin so well. No doubt they would be having another evening talk soon. What would they discuss that was not for Fili’s ears? Did they have any secrets kept between them that he had no idea of? 

He tried not to focus on such things… fueling the type of worries Kili was aiming to warn him about. Although a possessive side of Fili would prefer Y/N keep _ him _company throughout the night, Fili knew the talks were good for them. Besides, he wanted to know what Thorin thought of Y/N as a person and these talks just might help her gain his favor. Would Thorin approve their courting when Fili announced it to him?

While he was wrapped up in his thoughts, Y/N added, “I know Thorin is capable of being very kind and warmhearted. He’s probably just being salty with me that I won’t tell him every scrap of detail about what I know.”

Fili hesitated at the opportunity, considering his next words carefully. “If I may ask, why haven’t you?”

Her brows furrowed and with the silence that followed, Fili worried that he crossed an unknown line. This was the exact information that Thorin wanted him to extract from her on the sly. Fili only hoped that she felt him close enough to tell him the truth so that he wouldn’t have to pry it out. Maybe he could convince her to share the details with Thorin and appease everyone. But still… the fact remained that he obeyed his order from Thorin to spy on her. And that had resulted in a lingering shred of guilt.

But as Y/N remained silent, Fili felt her walls rising up between them. 

“I’m sorry,” he blurted, embarrassed with himself. “That was too bold of me, I shouldn’t have—”

“Fili.”

The way she said his name had him at full attention. Her hands found their way in front of her and she busied herself by picking at her fingers. Fili gave a quick look around to gauge their level of privacy and as long as they kept their voices down, nobody would be able to hear them. It was amazing how with such a wide open space the sounds of their walking and talking would echo back to them from the mountains; carried off into the wind.

“Do you trust me?” she asked in a small, nervous voice. Fili wanted to hold her hand. Offer her some touch of support. But they were out in the open now, so he kept his hands to himself. He remembered what Bofur told him. How Y/N needed the care of her friends and he vowed to be there for her. 

“Of course, I do. I’ve trusted you since we started on our journey, long before we knew who you were to us,” he assured with a grin he hoped was charming. To his delight, it was returned in full.

“I trust you, too. And I’ll never take your trust for granted.” 

A sour feeling squeezed at his heart, but he smiled through it. Thorin’s task for him remained prominent in his mind and he knew that if Y/N ever learned what Thorin put Kili and him up to, it may just well ruin any chances he’d have at keeping her trust in him. He rubbed the center of his chest at the ache growing there, hoping to dull it down lest he give himself away. 

“That being said, there’s a reason why I’ve only been telling Thorin pieces of my knowledge,” Y/N divulged suddenly. 

“I’m listening.”

When her eyes locked on him in deliberation, he became hyper aware of everything in that moment, knowing that whatever Y/N was about to tell him was of great importance. Birds chirped in the vast distance, the whisper of the wind danced through the mountains, the cloudless sky was displayed beside her, and the rays of the sunlight made her skin glow. He heard Thorin’s deep voice rumbling about something or other from way in front, and the masculine churtles of their companions around them. But by far the loudest thing in Fili’s ears was his racing pulse.

“You have to promise you won’t tell anyone, especially him.” She held out her pinky to him and Fili’s heart quickened as he weighed the gravity of the choices that were suddenly presented before him. If he refused, she wouldn’t tell him a thing and would perhaps feel that he was untrustworthy; that would push her away from him and he wanted them to be able to confide in one another. 

But if he accepted… would he go against Thorin’s wishes and keep her secret safe or do as he was told behind her back? Sure, he could always claim that Y/N revealed nothing to him in the hopes that she may tell Thorin her secrets on her own terms, but given her reticence already in swearing Fili to secrecy, this did not seem plausible. Besides, Thorin was no fool. He would find out sooner or later. But Fili didn’t want it to be from him. 

He didn’t have the heart to go behind the back of his beloved _ or _his kin, the one who practically helped raise him, but he wanted Y/N to know that she could put her faith in him—he was still trying to prove that he was a capable suitor, doing everything he could to paint himself worthy in her eyes. What a confounded situation… to go against your heart or against your blood. With an ugly turn in his gut and with a heart of stone, Fili made his choice. He lifted his hand and hooked his pinky into Y/N’s waiting hand. 

Mahal’s grace… hoped he was doing the right thing. 

“I give you my word that this will remain between us.”

Satisfied with his answer, Y/N did a nonchalant, quick look around of their surroundings to make sure they wouldn’t be overheard and lowered her voice even further. 

“I haven’t told Thorin about everything to come because so far everything is occurring exactly the same as in my dreams. There’s going to be a lot of hardship coming our way, and if I tell him about it preemptively, it might change and I’ll have no way of knowing if that’s how it’s supposed to be or if I made a mistake.”

“But don’t your visions inform you of what’s to come so that you know what needs to be altered or kept the same?”

Y/N sighed and brushed back her hair, some of the flyaway strands from her hairdo wisping around her face from the wind. “It’s not that simple, Fili. But what I’m having trouble understanding is that my visions are all the same as my dreams… but whatever is making me have these visions is obviously putting significance on them and I’m not sure if I’m supposed to be preventing the events from happening, or encouraging them. I can’t tell Thorin all the details because I know he’ll just try to alter them on his own, and it could all go terribly wrong. I don’t know all the outcomes, just what I’ve dreamed. But the only thing I know for sure is I’m here to help you.”

She looked down and grasped her forearm as if it might reveal answers.

“Because... if I don’t, if I’m not able to somehow save or guard you, then…” As the sentence drifted, Fili caught sadness pooling in her eyes. And all at once he recalled the nightmare she had in Rivendell, where she was crying his name with such anguish in the night. A gust of wind passed through and he shivered. Not from the cold, but from what Y/N was obviously distressed about.

“One of us will perish in the quest,” he finished for her. She turned to look at him and he watched a tear slid its way down her face. Without thinking, he reached up to clear it, but she did it for him. He dropped his hand and tried to sort through his thoughts on this heavy discovery she enlightened him with.

“Fili…” she whispered. “You—” 

He waved his hand to stop her. He didn’t want to know the details, even if it was his death that she dreamt of. Y/N was right to withhold this information from Thorin; no wonder she wouldn’t tell him! It was not for mortals to know their death day or try to cheat the passage of fate. But his uncle would be mad enough to try, taking her knowledge into his own hands and possibly, unintentionally at that, dooming them all. No, Fili heard enough, and he didn’t want Y/N to continue telling him any more for fear that she would ultimately blame herself for one of their demise, if that is what comes to pass in the end.

“I trust you, Y/N. Come what may, I have faith that we are in good hands.” As reassuring as that sentiment was intended, it only seemed to pain her further. Y/N curled into herself, cradling her arms. Thorin gave an occasional glance back at them, no doubt seeing that a heavy conversation was being had. He didn’t interfere and kept a healthy distance. 

“I’m scared, Fili… what if I’m doing this all wrong? I don’t know if I can do this!”

Y/N’s terrified voice crying out his name rang through his memory again, but he pushed it deep within himself. He hoped that whatever day she was dreaming of would never come, and that he would never hear her scream his name with such panic. Fili swallowed thickly and mustered up enough strength for the both of them. “I don't recall much of him, as I was very young at the time, but one thing I do remember is that my father once told me that the more afraid he was to do something, the more he understood that he had to do it. You _ can _do this! Mahal himself wouldn’t have chosen you for this if he didn’t believe in you, either. Your choices may not be easy, but if there is anything at all I can do to aid you, I will. Whether it’s keeping you safe, guarding your secrets, climbing the tallest mountain or learning to swim the widest ocean, I will be there for you.”

Y/N’s heart hammered in her chest._ Don’t look at me like that, Fili… you’ll make it harder for me to hide how I feel for you_, she thought.

“Thank you,” Y/N whispered. “You mean so much to me.”

Not trusting his voice, Fili opted to nod. After taking a breath and wiping her face from any lingering tears that threatened to break free, Y/N struck up another topic of conversation with some of the weight she’d been carrying off her shoulders. It took all of Fili’s strength to keep up his strong front. But inside, he was rather scared, too. 

What did the future hold for them?

* * *

Dinner bowl in hand, Bilbo ate distractedly, watching as Y/N and Thorin headed off together for the evening. Their encampment was rather small, tucked away in a cozy stone enclosure on the outskirts of the mountain range that seemed to be endless, so they huddled close together.

He tried to read the expressions they were making and analyze their body language for clues. Bilbo silently cursed Kili for starting this new, ridiculous obsession of his. 

Being so wrapped up in his spying, Bilbo didn’t realize that someone had joined him until they loudly cleared their throat, startling the poor Hobbit into spilling some of the contents of his bowl. 

“Merciful Eru!” he sputtered, scrambling to salvage the remains from toppling out. Most of the stew had landed on his foot and Bilbo grumbled as he shook it free from the spillage. 

“Sorry, lad. Didn’t know you were so deep in thought,” said Bofur. 

“It’s my fault, I should have been more aware.”

Bofur cleared his throat again, more gently this time, smirking at the pout on Bilbo’s face as he patted his foot hairs dry with a handkerchief. 

“Somethin’ bothering ya?”

Bilbo blushed and peeked at him, wiggling his nose. He didn’t appreciate the growing smirk blooming on Bofur’s face. 

“It’s silly,” Bilbo started suddenly. “I’m probably just imagining this, but… Y/N.”

Bofur waited patiently and Bilbo wondered if it was a good idea to ask him. He abhorred anyone poking their nose into his business, and truly, whatever Y/N and Thorin were up to was between them and them alone. But once Bilbo’s curiosity was probed, only answers would quench his need to _ know_. It will drive him mad if he didn’t. 

“What about ‘er?”

Bilbo straightened, swirling the stew in his bowl but making no effort to eat it. “I don’t know why I’m even bothering, it’s just silly! I got it into my head that there might be something going on with her and… you know,” Bilbo dipped his face and sloppily inclined his head and when Bofur looked where he thought he nodded to, his sight fell on Fili and Kili.

His brown eyes sparkled with glee, happy to have an affiliate in this matter.

“Ah! Ye noticed it, too, have ya?” Bofur snickered. “Should have placed some wagers, I coulda made some coin!”

Bilbo gaped at him, unsure what to say. How did Bofur know about Y/N and Thorin? Did he make any astute observations of his own? Did anyone else know? 

_ Ah, perhaps Y/N told him! They are rather close, _ the Hobbit deduced with a nod. 

“Well, that certainly explains a lot,” Bilbo sighed and slumped in his seat. 

Bofur grinned in Y/N’s general direction. She was still in deep discussion with Thorin. “Aye, they make a right fine pair, I think. Wonder how long it’ll be until a courtship is proposed.”

Bilbo shrugged, still stunned that his suspicions were correct. He wondered if he should tell Kili about it; he was the one who brought it up, after all. Bilbo ate the rest of his supper in deep contemplation. Learning this was one thing, but blabbing about it to someone else was most certainly gossiping. But surely, he’d be justified in informing Kili about this, no?

“So?” Bofur drawled in a singsong voice.

“So, what?”

“Wanna place a wager? How long do ye think it’ll be when they announce their courtship publically?”

Bilbo swatted at him, uninterested in Bofur’s poor attempts at convincing him to bet. “Oh, Bofur! That’s none of our business. In fact, we should really keep this information to ourselves, not spread it around. Do you remember that talking to poor Fili got? It was like watching a father scold a disobedient child...” he shivered.

Bofur hummed and scratched his chin. He remembered. Poor lad and lass did _something _to ruffle Thorin’s beard; he was rooting for Fili and didn’t want any harm to befall this budding romance from blossoming among their company. It was good to know that Bilbo thought to keep quiet about it, too. But still… a little fun between them couldn't hurt.

“Alright then! We’ll be the only ones who know, cross my heart! So, what do ye say?”

“No! No betting! This is a matter of the heart, it’s not proper to make coin from people’s feelings!” Bilbo wagged a stern finger at him. Bofur pouted, disappointed. But the downtrodden look didn’t remain very long. As quick as it came, Bofur’s cheery disposition had quirked a high smile on his lips. 

He raised his finger-less gloves up in submission, “Fine, fine… no betting. Spoil sport.” 

Bilbo huffed indignantly as Bofur laughed and reclined beside him. He pulled out a piece of wood from his pocket to inspect it. Bilbo set his bowl aside and leaned back on his hands to watch. After turning the object around in his hand, he retrieved a small knife and started to whittle. 

“What’s that you’re working on?”

“Hm? Oh, just a little trinket of sorts; a good luck charm.” Bofur held it up for Bilbo to see. He leaned in for closer inspection, but couldn’t quite make out what it was supposed to be. 

Bofur returned to picking away at bits of the wood. 

The two sat in companionable quiet, with nothing but the sounds of the group’s murmurings and stew slurping filling in the silence between them. Bilbo looked over at Thorin and Y/N. He tilted his head in consideration but he couldn’t quite picture them together for some reason. Not that he considered himself a matchmaker. But Y/N was so kind and warm, always willing to help. And Thorin was commanding and imposing. He’d likely order the poor girl to court him and not take no for an answer. They were complete opposites.But then again, what was the saying about how opposites attract?

Maybe something could work out of that pairing after all. 

Without taking his eyes off of them, Bilbo asked Bofur, “Do you think we’ll need luck?”

“Couldn’t hurt. The real kicker is that luck is always prone to change.”

Bilbo smiled down at his friend. “For the better in this case, I hope.”

"Aye," he smiled back and returned to his whittling.

* * * * *

Thorin closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He was tired and his body was throbbing in an aching pulse from lack of proper sleep from the exertion over the past few days of travel—he prided himself in his endurance, for he suffered far greater than this in his life. But that was long ago, when he was younger and more spry. He wouldn’t admit it, but his age was showing ways of creeping up on him. The day’s travels had weighed heavily on Thorin, but his mental fortitude was much stronger than his physical needs to rest. He had men that counted on him to lead them. He couldn’t succumb to exhaustion this easily. What if things were only to get worse? 

And Y/N. He had such precious cargo to keep safe from harm. Thank Durin he had his nephews by his side. Fili was doing so well with her. Perhaps he shouldn’t have acted so harshly with him. Even from a young age, the lad had a thirst to prove himself. But there was a weakness in him that Thorin was trying desperately to groom him out of. His heart. Fili was always a compassionate soul, he wasn’t capable of discipline. 

That’s why Thorin had been tougher on him than Kili. Grooming him for the hardships of his birthright he would one day be claiming. His father, Vili, was a compassionate soul, and that’s what ultimately led to his death… Thorin refused to let the same fate befall his oldest nephew. 

“Thorin, are you okay?” 

He startled to attention and was confused at why she sounded so concerned. “Of course I am.”

She raised a dubious eyebrow at him. “You fell asleep on me.”

He jerked away from her in alarm and looked around. Nobody was looking their way, thank Mahal. He looked over at their empty supper bowls and knew that his stomach was nurturing the warm food he gave it and that must have coaxed him into an unexpected slumber. 

“It’s okay,” she hastily assured, reaching out for him. Thorin withdrew from her and she feebly dropped her arms to her side. It was strange to him how handsy of a person she was when they knew each other for so short a time. Not that Thorin was devoid of expressing affection. But… Y/N was a _ female_, for Durin’s sake! 

He couldn’t encourage such friendly behavior lest he appear dishonorable. Thank the Maker he was able to talk to Fili in time before they started making a habit of it. Who knows what the others would think. 

“I didn’t mean literally, you just… knocked out on me while I was talking. Geez, you must be exhausted,” she added, biting back an amused smile. 

“I am fine,” Thorin grumbled. 

They didn’t even have a chance to talk about her last vision yet, he couldn’t fall asleep now! He wanted the details while they were fresh on her mind and, as Fili suggested, he waited for her to fill him in first, but thus far, all they spoke of were little nothings. Damn it all, he should have taken the lead and asked. Now, fatigue was closing in on him, weighing Thorin’s energy down even further. From his sitting position, he propped a knee up and rested his arm on top. He wanted to press his forehead against it to ease his tired eyes, but he forced himself to remain alert. 

“You were saying?” he asked. 

Y/N stared at him with an unreadable expression on her face. Rolling her lips in she scooted closer and he watched her warily while her eyes scanned him top to bottom.

Then she threw her hands in the air. 

“You’re so stubborn! You’re only going to do more harm to yourself than good if you don’t listen to your body and rest! There’s no shame in sleeping… if you suddenly drop when we get to walking tomorrow, I’m going to kick your ass. Literally.”

The worry in her voice was touching and he chuckled tiredly at her adorable “threat”. Though for someone who tends to drop suddenly out of nowhere for completely different reasons, she was certainly hellbent on getting him to comply when he has been more than accommodating to her demands as it was. 

Thorin drew in another deep breath. Y/N spoke of stubbornness as if she were the pinnacle of reason. Yet, why did he need to go to such extremes just to know what she’s keeping from him? Why couldn’t she just tell him on her own? Why didn’t she…

“Why don’t you trust me?” he asked, voice low with sleep threatening to claim him. He knew he was fighting a losing battle, as sleep began to blur and plague his vision. But he wanted to remain awake long enough to hear her answer. Y/N seemed taken aback for a moment. “I trust you, _ khajimel_. Even if you are a rather strange choice.”

She didn’t quite catch what he said in his native tongue, but turned her face away for a brief moment before telling him that she’d be right back. But by the time she returned with a blanket, Thorin was already fast asleep with his head resting on his arm. Not wanting to wake him, but also not wanting him to get any cramps in his neck or back, Y/N gingerly eased him backwards until he was propped up against a rock wall and draped the blanket over him. 

He didn’t stir once. Y/N thought to leave him be, but decided to sit beside him for a little while longer. She pulled her knees to her chest and got comfortable. Thorin looked so peaceful asleep. His usually creased brows were smoothed over and his male facial features were slack and relaxed. Y/N wanted to tell him about what happened earlier, but she let him set the pace in talking earlier and he didn’t bring it up. He probably wanted her to be the one to do so. 

_ I’ll tell him about it tomorrow, _ she decided. As for tonight, she’d sort through the details on what she’d be able to divulge from her meeting with the entity without jeopardizing the quest. Keeping Thorin’s resting form company for a little longer, Y/N’s eyes caught on Dwalin from across the way. He gave an appreciative nod in her direction for taking care of their leader and he settled close to the fire to join his brother.

Looking into the fire they had going, Fili’s words circled through Y/N’s head: _ My father once told me that the more afraid he was to do something, the more he understood that he had to do it. You _ can _ do this! _

“I sure hope you’re right, Fili…” she whispered.

* * * * *

Meanwhile, on another side of camp, Fili and Kili were having a conversation of their own. 

“Did you enjoy your walk with our lovely Y/N today?” Kili teased with a goofy grin. It dropped when he saw a dark look pass over Fili’s face. When his brother smiled at him, it didn’t reach his eyes. 

“I did. I’m a little worried for when we near the mountain. Y/N might not have winter clothing to done,” he deflected.

Kili shot him an inquiring look. One that read: something happened, what is it? But Fili studiously ignored it. “You can always make her a coat...” he implied. 

Fili slapped at Kili’s boot and sat across from him with a humorless chuckle. “Aye. Perhaps I should braid her hair, too, just to make sure it’s clear to everyone that I’m interested.”

Kili didn’t have any personal experience on the matter, true. But growing up hearing the stories of his father and how he won over their mother was the main source of intel he had, aside from overhearing certain details from other males in the Blue Mountains. Short of confessing his feelings directly, how else was Fili supposed to court her properly?

He recalled their mother pulling them aside one day because they were old enough for "the talk", and then told them that one day they might meet someone who they want to spend the rest of their life with. Somebody who makes them feel alive. Their One. And what they needed to do to display their interest.

_ “And when that day comes,” Dis explained, running her fingers through a young Kili’s wild hair as he sat in her lap, “you must show them how special they are to you.” _

_ “Like father did for you?” Fili inquired from her feet. He scratched at the thickening moustache that was coming in over his lip; like a blonde caterpillar. He couldn’t wait until it was long enough to braid—he wanted to look just like his father did in the picture out in the hall. _

_ “Aye. Your father was very persistent… he was a thoughtful gift-giver, too. I already found him handsome and capable, but he knew just what to do.” _

_ “What did he give you first?” Fili sat up on his knees with interest. _

_ Dis smiled down at him after clipping some of Kili’s hair back and pulled out an object from her pocket for him to hold. He and Fili leaned close to examine it. _

_ “A rock?” Kili frowned. A smooth, dark multicolored stone perfect for skipping across water, which was pretty to say the least, but certainly nothing worth gifting to your beloved, as far as Fili and Kili were concerned. _

_ “This is a Labradorite gemstone. I threw it at him the first day we met and he kept it with him; told me that he was certain I put a spell upon it to betwitch him into falling in love with me,” she chuckled at the memory. “When he gifted it, he said that as long as I held onto this stone, he would always be with me. Bewitched and besotted, the sap.” _

_ Fili wrinkled his nose. It didn’t sound like something very valuable to give someone you loved. “Why didn’t he give you pretty jewels instead?” _

_ “Because this has sentimental value attached to it, and is so very different from anything that anyone else would have thought to give me! He carried this stone with him because it made him think of me, and now that I have it, I think of him.” _

_ Kili turned in her lap and slapped his smooth cheeks. “Who needs gifts? I’ll make any lass swoon once my big beard grows in!” _

_ “And I’m sure you will be quite the handsome dwarrow!” Dis said, nuzzling her nose against his. “But you will still need to send your love a token of some kind so she knows you care. Use what you learn about her; the more personal the gift, the better.” _

_ "If a fancy a lass, can I throw a pretty rock at her, too?" Kili asked. _

_ "No!" Dis said, horrified at the thought. _

_ Kili hummed to himself. "Even if I told her that she bewitched me?" _

_ "If I hear that you've thrown any rocks at any maidens, Kili, so help me..." _

_ Kili shrunk under his mother's fierce ire, so very similar to uncle Thorin's. "Fine, fine! I won't throw rocks. But if I do find a lass who will have me, I'll give her the most special, precious stone I can find! Just like father did!" _

_ Dis rolled her eyes affectionately. "What about you, Fili dear? What will you give as your token of affection?" _

_ Young Fili gave the question as serious a thought as he could at age twelve. "I'd give her... something that shows her that I can provide and care for her. Whatever she needs, it's hers." _

_ Dis smiled warmly at him and felt just a twinge of sadness in her heart. He was so much like his father. _

“You’ll have to offer her tokens of affections at _ some _point,” Kili pointed out. “Something personal, like mother said.” 

“I’ve given her sweets from Rivendell—twice. But I do have something else in mind that she could use.” 

Kili nodded, pleased. “Brilliant! And you’ve been talking more, I see. Courtesy of our uncle.”

“Aye…” Fili plucked out a weed from the ground and started winding it around his finger. Y/N’s implication from that day haunted him. Under normal circumstances, he wouldn’t have thought to pry into the details of her abilities. In all honesty, they intimidated him a bit. Receiving knowledge from a higher power was a heavy burden for anyone to have. He may not have wanted to hear about his death, but he could only imagine how Y/N must feel. Gods… how much did she dream about him dying? Forced to see it over and over again. 

Or was it Kili she saw? Or Thorin? There was so much none of them knew about the sights she’s seen. Perhaps it was not meant for them to know. 

“Fee, did something happen between you?” Kili pressed gently. 

There’s no way he could tell him. Even if he hadn’t already given Y/N his word, this was not something he could tell his little brother. He had to be strong now, Y/N was bearing the brunt of this Sight on her own, but Fili had every intention of shouldering it with her. He trusted Y/N with his life and she trusted him. Together, they could overcome anything. He was sure of it.

Fili smiled reassuringly. “No. But I could use your help with something.”

“Oh? With what?”

Fili beckoned him closer to whisper his plan in his ear. When he was finished, Kili pulled away and furrowed his brows. Fili smiled innocently at him and Kili crossed his arms to stare him down. But he couldn’t hold the front any longer and soon burst into laughter, running his hand through his dark hair. 

“Oh, the things I do for you.”

“I’d do the same for you, brother,” Fili smiled. 

“I know. How much time do you need?”

“As much as you can give me.”

Kili nodded. “I’ll see what I can do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Khuzdul translation:
> 
> Khajimel – Gift of all Gifts
> 
> Chapter title was used by The Drums' song "I'll Never Drop My Sword". Sounded fitting for certain themes of this chapter/series thus far. :3
> 
> \---
> 
> Woof, a lot happened in this chapter! And the fun is just beginning!


	15. Soldier On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments, kudos, and bookmarks, everyone! I'm constantly surprised at how much the support has grown for this story. I love you all and hope you and your loved ones are safe and healthy! I hope you enjoy the chapter and excuse any mistakes I may have missed during editing.

Come morning, Y/N did not have a chance to tell Thorin about her meeting with the entity as she planned because he woke up all in a huff, grumbling how he had overslept and ordered they all set out. Per his insistence, everyone packed their things in a haste, relieved themselves, and headed out without breakfast. Against the ruling majority who suggested otherwise.

Now everyone was in a fowl, hangry mood. 

Their rations were dwindling, but they dutifully followed Thorin and marched through the rumbling ache in their empty bellies. Y/N had tried several times to speak to Thorin during their walk. About her not-vision and as an attempt to offer him some levity, but he was snappy and short with her. Since he wasn’t in the best of moods, Y/N decided to leave him to cool off a bit before trying again later. Her empty stomach was making her feel a little agitated, too, and she wasn’t looking to pick fights. 

And so, she turned to the others for some companionship to lighten her spirits, but they all seemed to be in an off mood, too. 

Despite it being a beautiful day with the sun shining above them and hiking through such jaw dropping scenery, a dark cloud seemed to have descended upon the Company and Y/N couldn’t help but fear that the trouble was all her fault. Had she kept Thorin up longer than usual and thus coaxed him into that deep slumber that led to him sleeping in?

Were the others resenting her for robbing them of being able to have the little left to eat to start their day? Whether any of her thoughts were true or not, she had an abundance of time trudging along in discompaniable silence to fan the flames of her anxiety.

Even Bofur was keeping quiet from his usual humming and singing. Fili remained cordially polite, but the strain of little food was noticeable to her. Bilbo’s disposition appeared to be safest, though he wasn’t any better off, either.

His stomach growled like a beast from beside her and he grimaced in anguish as he clutched at it. 

“What I wouldn’t give to be having Second Breakfast right now,” he sighed to himself. 

“Second?” she echoed incredulously. “What about the first?”

“Us Hobbits have a very strict food schedule. We have First Breakfast, Second Breakfast, then Elevensies…” His stomach rolled out another whine of protest and he didn’t bother finishing that sentence. 

_ And I thought I was a food hog! How can someone so small eat so many meals? _ She wondered, finally understanding why Bilbo still seemed restless after their meals. As her own stomach begged her to feed it, Y/N tried not to linger on the thought of food.

“What got Thorin in such a stuffy mood, anyway?” Bilbo asked with some edge to his voice. 

Y/N shrugged. “He got some extra beauty sleep and it apparently did him more harm than good, I guess.”

Bilbo sneered and scowled ahead of him. He drove his walking stick into the ground with more force than necessary. Even though he was testy, Bilbo was still very polite about his temper than the Dwarves have been. 

Y/N took his reaction to mean that he blamed her for Thorin’s bad mood. Already filled with guilt, she felt the need to make amends with the only person who would listen without snapping. 

“This is my fault… if he and I weren’t up talking so late; I tried making him go to sleep, though! He was exhausted! And he’s so friggin’ stubborn, he wouldn’t listen to me when I told him to go to bed… he insisted on staying awake. Maybe I should’ve been more firm.”

Bilbo turned to look at her with surprise. He sounded puzzled when he said, “No one’s blaming you for this, Y/N.”

“They aren’t?” she asked hopefully. Bilbo did tend to get flustered under pressure; when he lied it was apparent in his exacerbated Hobbit mannerisms. But Bilbo sounded sure and sincere and that made Y/N trust in him. 

“Well, I’m certainly not! Besides, the only one who’s in control of Thorin’s sleep schedule is Thorin. If he overslept because he refused to sleep and got his knickers in a bunch, then that’s on him, not you. I apologize if my disposition suggested otherwise, but I’m not blaming you for the way we started our day. I’m just hungry is all! We all are…” 

Bilbo sighed and reviewed the irked state of the Company before lowering his voice. Even though nobody was paying them any attention anyway. “We need to stop for some supplies soon. Or at the very least forage or hunt for something to tide us over. Do you know if we’re making any stops?”

Y/N raised a speculating brow at him.

“I don’t know, I don’t remember seeing any.”

“Oh… I just assumed,” Bilbo looked away all bashful. “You two talk so often, and seem like you’re close. I thought he might have gone over his plans.”

Y/N bit the inside of her cheek and tried to find solace in the cool breeze grazing her cheeks. The wind was less turbulent today, but since the sun was getting higher, the temperature would no doubt follow. Empty bellies coupled with heat was a deadly combination, but there was no talking to Thorin earlier and she fathomed that he wouldn’t be in much of a position to speak with her later, either. 

Thinking back on their conversation from last night, Thorin had said that he trusted her. Y/N had a hard time believing that, even though he had tried to reassure her with words. But without the proper actions to back them up, Y/N could only ask herself a more fundamental question: did Thorin even like her?

“Bilbo, can I ask you something?” she worried her chapped bottom lip. He made an affirmative sound. 

“Do you know if Thorin likes me or not? We talk often enough, but I still can’t get a handle on what he’s really feeling.”

A blush crept up on Bilbo’s face. This particular topic was unexpected and uncomfortable for him. 

“U-um…” he stuttered. Bilbo felt that he was the absolute wrong person to ask. But he understood that she couldn’t very much confront the Dwarf in question about this, she had her propriety after all. Goodness, of all things to ask him!

Why couldn’t she have asked him about books, or map making, or something he was more knowledgeable on? Romantic feelings, or gauging how others felt about you, were as foreign to Bilbo as wearing shoes. But Y/N was his friend and he was still determined to help her in some way. The poor girl probably liked _ him _and, given Thorin’s consistently unstable temperament, wasn’t sure if her feelings were one sided or not. 

“Well, that’s reassuring,” she laughed dryly when Bilbo’s train of thought ran on empty. 

He pouted up at her. “He’s certainly more nicer to you than he is to me. He used to treat the two of us the same, but I have noticed a change in him. Thorin isn’t exactly the easiest fellow to figure out.”

“No, he’s not!” Y/N readily agreed with a heavy eye roll. 

“But,” Bilbo added, thinking on all that he’s observed from their behavior of late and continuing his next words carefully, “it’s possible he does have a fondness for you that he doesn’t share with the others. Dwarves tend to be very straightforward with their thoughts, as I’m sure you’ve witnessed. Maybe he expressed it in a way he thought you’d understand?”

He gave her a sideways stare when she didn’t respond, hoping he didn’t say the wrong thing. Y/N was looking thoughtfully ahead of them, tapping her lips with her knuckles while she contemplated something. 

Unbeknownst to Bilbo, her heart was occupied with thoughts about a certain blonde prince as another separate question formed in her mind, triggered by a conversation from a long while ago. 

“Bofur once told me that when Dwarves like somebody, they offer gifts like jewelry, weapons, or hair accessories. Just out of curiosity, do Hobbits do anything like that to show someone they want to be friends, or more?”

Still uncomfortable at this topic and not wanting to steer her in the wrong direction, Bilbo enlightened her on the details of his culture. He couldn’t see the harm in that, despite it being vastly different from how Dwarves, Elves, and Man went about it, based on books he’s read on the subject. It was taboo for the lady in any scenario to openly approach a male interest and there was no telling what traditions Thorin lived by. 

Bilbo brought his fist to his chin to think before offering Y/N some friendly insight to best aid her in her love life in Middle Earth. “Let’s see, in most cases, the males are the ones who are supposed to make the first move. It’s not considered proper or respectful for the females to take initiative and it might even deter the suitor from going forward.”

Y/N scrunched her nose in disbelief. “Really? That’s ridiculous!”

Bilbo could only feebly shrug. He lived his life outside the norm, so he couldn’t relate to those customs, either. However, he was perfectly at ease being a bachelor, and thus couldn’t care one way or the other about it.

“That’s just the way things are. Now, for Hobbits, the males tend to gift their love interest flowers that they’ve grown and food they’ve prepared. The cultural favorite courting food is honey cakes with buttercream filling. If there’s no design on the cake, it can be given as a good sign of friendship, but if there’s a flower decorated on top of it, the male is trying to express his intentions for courting.”

“Aww! That’s so sweet! Literally,” Y/N giggled before frowning. “Ugh, I’d kill for some dessert…”

“Anyway,” Bilbo hastily interjected before they could linger on the subject of food. “I’ve read a few books on cultural differences in terms of how mates are selected, and all races have different ways to go about it. There’s little written about Elf courting rituals; marriages are usually set up from the two families while other Elves live a life of elected solitude. But if a male Elf shows interest in somebody, he presents them with a work of art of their own making, and if the intended accepts, there’s a second phase that is much more intimate. I haven’t finished translating from my books, but from what I remember, they spend time together during a long period before courtship is even presented at that point.”

Y/N nodded in rapt interest. “Makes sense. If you live basically forever, you wanna make sure you’re happy with the mate you choose.” She hoped Bilbo would give her more insight on how Dwarves go about it to see if there were any signs that could point to Fili's interest in her. He hasn’t exactly given her any hair accessories, weapons, or jewelry, but he has given her sweets. Perhaps there were other methods that Bofur didn’t tell her about or maybe his generation of Dwarf did things differently.

Even in her world some people did it by the book while others took a more personal spin on things. But Middle Earth was so much more reserved; the slightest hint of skin or affection deemed “taboo” if the people in question aren’t married. 

Bilbo beamed at her interest, happy to be able to freely discuss Elf culture without somebody scoffing or insulting him for it. “Yes, Elves are very particular and tactful, but certainly not without purpose!” He paused briefly and cleared his throat. “Now, for Dwarves…”

Y/N fiddled with her hands and waited on pins and needles with unbridled hope. 

“There’s even less on the subject than there are for Elves. It’s been known that Man and Hobbits tend to bend tradition from time to time, but Elves and Dwarves are more steadfast to their rituals. Elves are far more open but Dwarves are reserved and secretive. I’m afraid that’s all I know… if you need more, you’re better off asking a Dwarf than a Hobbit.”

“I can’t, they might misunderstand…” Y/N replied in defeat, twisting a piece of her hair around her finger as her eyes sought out Fili. 

_ Well, at least I put myself out there. And apparently, that’s all us ladies can do here. That explains why Fili didn’t really respond to my touches from early on and freaked out when I kissed his cheek. I hope I haven’t pushed him away, _ Y/N thought.

As her thoughts switched to Thorin, Y/N asked, “Is it safe to assume there aren’t any universal ‘friendship rituals’ I should take note on?”

He chuckled at her cluelessness. “No, friendship is just as natural an occurrence as anything, for all races. Unless you do things in your world entirely differently for your friends, I imagine your methods should apply the same here.”

She nodded in response and thus the conversation came to an end. 

Bilbo felt a little helpless to Y/N in this regard. It was clear why she was asking. She was interested and Thorin obviously hasn’t made a move to show her that he returned her interest in a clear or concise way, but then again… he did give her that weapon from the troll hoard! As quickly as Bilbo’s face lifted, it soon fell as he sympathized with her conundrum. 

_ I don’t know a thing about this mess… was the sword given to her out of friendship or romantic intent? _ Bilbo was unsure of this and didn’t want to give her hope when there is none. He may have little to no knowledge of the ways of the Dwarves but... 

_ I know someone who does! _

As he craned his face around, he spotted a downtrodden Bofur and decided that they had a meeting to plan together. 

* * * * *

Towards the front of the line, Balin was at his wit’s end. It was a bad call to rush them on this morning like this, and no doubt Thorin was trying to make up for lost time, but surely a loss of two hours wasn’t worth skipping breakfast over. 

Thorin’s disposition had obviously woken up on the wrong side of the bedroll this morning, but since it would be approaching lunchtime soon, Balin had decided enough was enough and fell back from his leading position to drop beside Thorin who was walking close behind. 

Before he could say anything, Thorin consulted him quietly, much to Balin’s relief. 

“We need to restock on food and water. Our remaining rations are not nearly enough to last us a week.”

“Aye, so what’s our plan?” Balin asked. He, Dwalin, and Thorin had succumbed to hunger many times in their warrior days. Their fortitude on holding out without eating was more refined, but for many of the others, they were not accustomed to consistently wavering mealtimes. He knew times may only get tougher, and they still had a long way to go, but in terms of boosting morale for now, he was determined to try to ease the lads into the hardship. But that was easier said than done when your company was running on empty bellies. 

Balin worried mainly for the lass, however. As a human, Y/N was far more delicate than any of them, but it wouldn't do to have Mahal’s gift slowly starve as thanks for the blessing he bestowed upon them. Balin knew that Y/N’s welfare was one of Thorin’s top priorities along with getting to Erebor before Durin’s Day. 

“We will head into the mountains. We should be able to replenish our waterskins and come across some game to eat if we approach richer soils.”

Balin nodded and hummed to concur. He paused for a moment to ready himself before asking, “That’s where we will be meeting Gandalf then, yes?”

Thorin gave him only a look and that look told him everything he needed to know. And he didn’t quite like it. As of late, Thorin’s judgment was growing askew when it came to Y/N’s input. Balin had already discussed with Gandalf back in Rivendell that they were going to set out immediately, but to meet up with them in the mountains. But Balin had to be sure that Thorin was sticking to that plan. Especially when Y/N had the vision of the Goblins, she, Balin and Thorin got together to discuss it and she urged that waiting for Gandalf would be their best bet to avoid what her dreams foretold.

Thorin didn’t know how Gandalf would be expected to miraculously find them, but Y/N didn’t elaborate on the details. Balin trusted her and figured that their wizard either got a tipoff or would use his magic to search them out. 

“We _ are _meeting Gandalf in the mountains? Y/N specifically said—”

“I know what she said, Balin. We are heading to the mountains and will wait for Gandalf to find us, but I have mouths to feed and time wasted away sleeping when we could have made some decent distance today.”

Another look crossed Thorin’s face then that Balin couldn’t describe. Balin didn’t understand why Thorin was beating himself up for getting a much needed rest, he obviously needed it if his body shut itself down by force. But he understood his urgency in wanting to get to Erebor in time and had to agree with him there. Balin huffed to keep up with Thorin’s increased pace just as Dwalin joined them. 

“Thorin, further ahead about twenty miles, we should start seein’ some foliage again.”

“Twenty!” Balin balked, then turning to Thorin. “That’s at least another five or six hours!”

Thorin grit his teeth. They still had rations on them… perhaps they could afford a quick stop for a snack? But it would only push the inevitable: they had to hunt for food soon or being late would be the least of their problems. 

“So be it,” Thorin said. When Balin and Dwalin began to argue over possible workarounds, Thorin added, “If we come across a viable food source, then we will not waste the opportunity. I would like to press on for a while longer and then we can rest for a quick bite to eat.” 

He turned to Dwalin.

“How are our rations and how long will they hold?”

Dwalin must have already tallied it because his answer was quick. “Dwindling, but if we’re frugal for meals, it should last a week or so. We’ll be fine once we reach the mountains ahead.”

“We need to hunt!” Balin insisted to the both of them. “Lest we forget we’ve a lass in our company.”

That thought was never far from Thorin’s mind. 

Thorin slowed and looked behind him. Y/N and Bilbo were walking side by side indulging in conversation. Bilbo reacted in a perturbed way when she leaned down to whisper in his ear and Thorin’s eyes narrowed in suspicion, erasing any sense of worry that gurgled up from their food situation. What in the world were they talking about now? What details of the quest was Bilbo privileged to hear but not him? And more importantly, where in the Void were his nephews? 

Not too far away from her, he saw them walking a couple yards distance. He wondered if either of them knew anything yet and planned to speak with them privately at the earliest opportunity. He recalled Y/N trying to engage in conversation this morning, but it wasn’t a good time. They had miles to cross and if he indulged, he’d get distracted. But now he was regretting it...

“Do you know these lands?” Thorin asked Dwalin, refocusing his thoughts. 

“Not exactly, but I can recognize the Misty Mountains in the distance. Game is plenty there, if we camp nearby, we should make it there by the morrow’s nightfall.”

Thorin nodded, pleased. “Good. Fili!” he shouted. 

Fili hustled towards the front. “Yes?”

There would be time for a status report later, but Thorin wanted to make sure that his nephews did their due diligence on his task for them before they reconvened to discuss what they'd gathered. Although Thorin would have wanted to check on Y/N himself, his main goal at the moment was focused on locating the best place to camp and hunt for the night to get Y/N properly fed. They would need to cut the day short in order to dedicate the right amount of time for that, but so far, none of the land seemed promising. 

He hoped to find somewhere suitable to settle down out of the open before dark, so he had to press forward at all costs. He patted something in his pocket that he’d been saving and figured he could now put it to good use. 

“Go check on our Seer and her bosom companion back there; see how they are faring.”

Before Fili parted, Thorin dug into his pocket and tossed him half of a piece of jerky he was hanging onto. There wasn’t a question as to who the food was supposed to be given to. Fili nodded in understanding and started to make his way back.

“Careful, Thorin. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say yer goin’ sweet on her,” Dwalin teased with a manly bump into his shoulder. 

He smirked in response as Balin interjected with, “I’m shocked you still have any of that smoked jerky left! Nori had to practically beat Bombur off from stealing his share.”

“Speaking of ‘shares’, ye got any more in yer pockets? I could use a good chew!” Dwalin hummed. 

“I do not. And do not misunderstand, she simply needs it more than I do; it will not last her long, but…”

“It’s still somethin’,” Dwalin finished. He approved of their care for each other. It was odd to him seeing Thorin rely on a lass the way that he was, but her abilities did serve their purpose. Dwalin also found it amusing that Y/N was able to speak to him so effortlessly during their talks. 

Thorin would never admit it, but he was calmer and more relaxed in her presence. That was probably why he fell asleep so readily last night. If he was on edge, it wouldn’t have mattered how exhausted his body was, Thorin would’ve been up and alert. It seemed that every passing day Y/N only became more and more of a blessing to Thorin than she was to everyone else. 

And all things considered, Dwalin was glad for it.

* * * * *

The moment Fili started making his way towards her, Y/N’s heart flipped. It was embarrassing how dependent she had become to being near him, that any time he ventured away she’d pine for his return and make eyes at him as long as he was within sight, or think about him constantly whenever he wasn’t. Ugh. Like a lovesick teenager, how gross! Y/N did her best to hide her excitement by managing a welcoming wave.

“Mind if I join you both?” he asked with a smile. 

“Of course!” Bilbo gestured him over between them. 

“Holding up all right?” Fili asked them both. 

_ I’m fucking hungry. _

_ My stomach feels like it's caving in. _

_ I’m about _ this _ close to eating my arm. _

“Oh, I’m fine!” Y/N assured as convincingly as she could. But her stomach betrayed her with a mighty yowl of protest and she quickly ducked her head.

Fili only chuckled and held out something for her to take. Bilbo’s eyes widened when he realized what it was and Y/N’s mouth had already begun salivating. 

“Take it,” Fili urged, bobbing it in front of her as if to entice her further. 

“You’re a lifesaver, thank you!” she beamed. 

“How did you manage to stash that away where no one else would snag it?” Bilbo marveled. It wasn’t a secret that this was the Dwarven equivalent to crack candy. 

Fili sheepishly shrugged his shoulders.

“I’m afraid I scarfed mine down like a ravenous wolf. This is from Thorin, actually.”

_ Oh, it _ was_, was it? _ Bilbo smirked, his mind reeling with suggested possibility. He definitely had to tell Bofur about this to determine if these would be considered tokens of affection; he hopes Y/N would be picking up on them. 

Y/N looked down at the half piece of jerky in her hand and although she was grateful for the snack and her empty belly was chastising her for not inhaling it right away, the gesture gave her pause. Thorin wasn’t very good at taking care of himself; he was too occupied making sure everyone else was being taken care of before him. Like a true leader. 

But in doing so, he’d only served to exhaust his body to forcibly shut itself down just so he could get a proper rest. Now he was stashing away his already small share of food just to give it to someone else. Thorin could have given this to anybody, and this was so out of the blue! But maybe there was truth to Bilbo’s words after all. Maybe Thorin did consider her a friend and this was one of his ways of showing it. If anyone were to know for sure, it would be his kin.

Y/N used as much force as she could to break the half of tough jerky meat into thirds and she offered the small bits that were more or less equal to Fili and Bilbo. Bilbo happily accepted but Fili tried, and failed, to encourage Y/N to eat it herself. But after her stern look, he knew he was fighting a losing battle and graciously chewed his share.

It probably wasn’t an accident that Fili and Thorin were similar in that they had caregiving demeanors. Of course, Fili was more on the sweet side and Thorin was more brusque, but since Fili obviously looked up to his uncle, he learned those traits from him. 

“Fili, I’m gonna ask you something weird: do you know if Thorin likes me?”

The question took Fili by surprise, causing him to choke and cough on his snack as he desperately attempted to swallow his shock. He felt Y/N slapping him on the back to help it down but he recovered quickly through force of will. 

“What?” His voice sounded embarrassingly weak after his coughing fit but he needed to make sure he heard her correctly. 

“Well, I say this kind gesture is certainly a sign of good faith to say the least!” Bilbo exclaimed hurriedly before either of them could jump in. Bilbo turned to Y/N. 

“In fact, that reminds me about what we were talking about earlier. One day, my father…” 

As Bilbo told his story, Fili’s question went unanswered until it faded to the back of everyone’s mind. But Thorin’s kindness on Y/N was not lost on any of them. As the day went on, Y/N thought she saw Fili examining her. 

Looking with—was that longing? No, it couldn’t be… right?

But there was something swirling in those sky blue eyes of his and he made little effort to avoid being caught staring. When Bilbo was done talking, a small clearing opened up ahead of them that was previously obscured from the hill they were on; revealing a splash of woods.

Everyone about leapt for joy, anything to get out of the heat, and Thorin found a place for them to camp in a clearing finally announcing they could take a rest and hunt for some food for late lunch. When Bilbo left, it seemed like Fili wanted to talk to her. But Thorin called him away to scout for game to hunt, and the moment was over.

Kili happily took his brother’s place and Y/N and Fili departed eachothers company. As Fili joined Bifur, his hunting partner, he felt something had changed somehow that afternoon, but he wasn't sure what.

* * *

While everyone waited for the hunting duo to return, Y/N was having a hard time listening to Kili, Dori, Bofur and Bilbo arguing over something or another because her thoughts were stuck on Fili’s expression. She’d never seen that before, all because she asked him what his uncle thought of her. 

Many questions reeled through her mind but none provided any definitive answers. She didn’t even realize when the conversation grew a little quieter when Thorin approached.

“May I have a word?”

Her head whipped up and she stumbled to her feet. “Oh, sure. Lead the way.”

Kili watched them leave from the side as he pretended to mind the fire, wondering if now would be a good time to make true on what Fili asked of him when Bofur was suddenly snagged up by Bilbo to discuss “something important”, leaving Kili alone with Dori. 

“Oh, I sure hope something comes of this!” Dori whined.

Tearing his eyes away from the two of them, Kili faced Dori with wide eyes. 

“What!?” 

Without meaning to, Kili’s mind started piecing things together: Fili’s strange low mood this afternoon, Thorin’s impromptu meeting with Y/N when it wasn’t even evening yet, Bilbo becoming flustered and snatching Bofur away to “discuss something important”, and now Dori’s comment. 

Did others know something he didn’t?

Dori fixed him with a confused stare. “We need to eat a full meal?” he said slowly. 

Kili blinked a moment as he took in this information and then h’s relief washed through him in a whoosh. He couldn’t believe he was still wrapped up in his Thorin hunch just over a few changed behaviors. Besides, he had a job to do, and he didn’t really have much time to do it if they’re meeting was short.

He got to his feet and whipped up a charming smile.

“Ah, yes. Sorry, I guess the lack of food is getting to my head. I’m sure they’ll find something.”

Dori nodded, Kili’s outburst forgotten. “Well, I do hope it’s soon! I don’t know how much longer I can walk without a decent meal in my gut.”

Kili began to incrementally back away, “We’ve still got rations to last us a few days, I’m sure. Thorin wouldn’t push us to the brink of hunger, that’s why we stopped here.”

“Aye, and we’ve got a lassie on our hands, after all. Our very own godsend gift!”

Speaking of said gift…

“Very true. Excuse me,” Kili said before closing the distance between him and Y/N’s belongings. Without being too obvious about it, Kili started his search, his quick hands trying not to make anything look trifled with. His eyes flicked up to where Y/N and Thorin were standing making sure he was still in the clear. Once he got what he needed, he made a show of tying his boots just in case anyone were to question why he was over there.

Kili hoped Fili would return soon for many different reasons. Mostly though, he was really hungry. 

* * * * *

Not too far from where Kili was crouched over, another conversation was being had. Bilbo had led Bofur away to their stock pile of wood for the fire that they had going. The smell of the smoke triggered the need for food, but all anyone could do was wait patiently. Bombur had set up his pans and cooking supplies so that if good news were to return to them, he could start cooking right away. 

The rotund Dwarf’s eyes were glued to the trees in the clearing, searching for any signs of Fili and Bifur’s return. Since everyone was distracted and also looking to the woods for their hunting duo, it was the best time to pull his confidant aside to talk. 

“What is it, Bilbo? Come to discuss more blossoming love in our Company?” he teased, but Bilbo was too occupied with wanting to share his thoughts to catch on.

“Actually, yes! I wanted to ask you about Dwarven courting rituals.”

Bofur’s eyebrows disappeared up into the brim of his hat. “Oho, how bold of you! If ye took such a fancy to me, ye shoulda just said somethin’ earlier, no need for such formalities,” he playfully nudged his elbow to which Bilbo avidly slapped away in a huff. 

“Not _ me_! You know very well who I was talking about!” Bilbo pouted, putting his hands on his hips. Bofur snickered at the pink blush on the apple of his cheeks. It was much too fun teasing this Hobbit. All joking aside, he was very interested in knowing why Bilbo was asking. Certainly this well respected Hobbit wasn’t planning on butting his nose in when he specifically told Bofur they should stay out of it, yes?

“Can’t fault me for tryin’. Well now, what did ye need to know?” 

Bilbo blushed harder at how casually he said that, but made sure not to dwell on them at all. Even if it would only serve to perplex him later. Eru, why were Dwarves so confoundedly confusing? No wonder Y/N was having such a hard time!

“What does it mean if a Dwarf gives someone their food?”

Bofur smiled, remembering the cute exchange Fili made with Y/N when they left Rivendell. “Depends entirely on the intent of the Dwarf.”

Bilbo sighed, exasperated.

“Well, that’s not very helpful…” he mumbled, bringing his knuckles up to his chin to think. “What about giving someone a weapon, is that only done if romantic interests are had for the recipient?”

“That is a common courting tradition,” Bofur nodded. “The more time ye spend on forging it, the more care ye put into it, the better off the response the suitor is likely to get.”

“And what if you didn’t actually make the weapon? Say, hypothetically, you found it and made a gift of it.”

Bofur frowned, not recalling seeing Fili give Y/N anything other than treats and his undivided attention. As far as he remembered, they all found a bunch of gold and discarded belongings back in the troll hoard, but Bofur didn’t remember seeing Fili go in there with them. Then again, Bofur was more focused on burying some of that gold to dig up later, so it’s possible he might have missed it. 

But nevertheless, he wrinkled his nose in a way that quirked up his moustache, “When it comes to romancing, Dwarves forge their own weapons as gifts, they never buy anyone else’s.”

Bilbo rolled his eyes. “Well, it’s not like we have access to a forge out here, Bofur. Maybe he’s just trying to make do with what he has.”

“Any dwarrow worth his salt knows the proper methods to courting, lad. We woo to impress, sometimes at the expense of our pride depending on how deep the feelings go. But no one would give their love interest a weapon made by someone else, let alone an Elven blade. What exactly brought this on?”

“Y/N, of course! She has no idea what Dwarven intentions are and, frankly, I can’t say I blame her! You are all such a confusing lot! Just today she asked me if I knew whether or not he fancied her and what was I supposed to say? It’s not my place to confirm such things. Ugh, this is so uncomfortable… I never should have gotten involved in this, but she’s my friend and… well, I’d like to help.”

Bofur rocked on his heels as he digested those words. As a hopeless romantic wanting nothing more than to see this relationship flourish, he also knew it was very bad form for anyone to intervene with someone else’s courting process. In the old days, dwarrows would make a public claim to his fellow lads that he had intentions to pursue his love interest so that the others would know that he was calling dibs and to back off. But it’s not like Fili had the same liberties in their situation. Starting a romance on this quest was a bad idea… it was mighty dangerous for one thing. But not only was Y/N from another world, Mahal himself had sent her here to them. 

That made Y/N a very precious person to them. She was practically as untouchable as the king. But it was clear to Bofur that Fili still felt something for her and he was determined to help, too. But neither he nor Bilbo could interfere or tell her Fili’s intentions. Not without his permission to do so. It was obvious that Fili was keeping this a secret from the group.

“Is there anything we can do?” Bilbo asked. 

“I’m certain he has a plan that will play out on its own. The best we can do is keep this to ourselves and, if we can, create openings for them to spend time together and let the two lovebirds sort out the rest.”

Bilbo looked over his shoulder at Thorin and Y/N who had taken their place near the fire, joining the others in waiting for food. “They get plenty of that every night without our help as it is.”

“Aye. But it wouldn’t hurt to help them along.”

Bilbo turned to Bofur, picking up on the implication in the drawl of his voice. “Did you have anything in mind?”

“Y/N’s from another land, so folks might court a little differently there. If we can get her to open up about it, maybe even ask about what she likes—”

“Then more options can present themselves! Bofur, you’re brilliant!”

Touched by the sincerity of the compliment, Bofur blushed and scratched the hair from under his hat and smiled cheekily. “Well, a’course I am! Yer just noticin’?”

Bilbo rolled his eyes and prepared a sassy retort when his thoughts were interrupted by hoots, hollers, and claps from the Company as Fili and Bifur returned with armfuls of fish.

Bilbo eagerly joined in the swarm of Dwarf that surrounded their heroes as they slowly made their way across camp where Bombur was moving at record speed to prepare the fish for cooking. Everyone was so excited to finally have food they didn’t give them a proper walkway. Bilbo realized this and then backed out to where Y/N was hopping excitedly in place. 

“What took you so long?” 

“How many did you catch?”

“Where’s the water source?”

Barrage after barrage of questions hit them and while Bifur was ready to pile drive through, Fili was still holding the bundles of fish and didn’t want them to get dropped; Bifur obviously had more fishing experience than he did and was able to hold them all effortlessly. 

“Are they already gutted?” Bombur called out to them, placing a pan over the fire to heat it. 

“Yes!” Fili yelled back. 

“Move aside!” Thorin’s baritone voice boomed out, scattering the gathering like roaches. “Let them pass if you want to eat.”

After half of the fish was packed safely away for dinner later, another fire was built to help quickly cook the remaining fish that would tide them over for their walk to their final camp closer to the Misty Mountains. 

Bilbo hoped that by then, he and Bofur could somehow broach the topic of how courting is done in Y/N’s world, or to get her to divulge some of the things she likes. He could only hope that thick head of Thorin’s would be paying attention. 

* * * * *

After lunch was enjoyed and the fires extinguished, the Company headed back out on the road in much higher spirits and full bellies. The atmosphere was noticeably different and everyone seemed to walk with a skip in their step. Or maybe it was just Kili, who was all too happy to finally have something in his stomach.

He pulled Fili aside for a moment when he saw an opportunity to talk.

“So, while you were gone, I did what you said.”

“And?” Fili asked. Kili smiled and shook his head. Fili smiled and clapped his hands together, “Good! Good, I’ll get started tonight. Could you occupy her for me?”

“Sure, but what if she asks for you? What should I say?”

“Just think up an excuse. As long as she doesn’t see it before it’s ready.”

Fili was very anxious to get started, but taking on this new project meant that he wouldn’t be spending much time with her anymore. He didn’t like the idea of their daily routine becoming dismantled, however, he reminded himself that it was only temporary and would be worth it when he was finished. He really hoped she would like it. 

There were a few other projects he had in mind to craft, but they would have to wait until Erebor. At first, the thought that he needed to be this patient didn’t worry him; he wanted to take his time. But time was of the essence, and Y/N’s random question from earlier caught him off guard and told him he just might need to act more quickly than planned. He wanted to ask her then, but he didn’t know what to say without sounding like the lovesick fool that he was. If he told her in the heat of the moment, he might slip up and say the wrong thing. Or worse, offend her.

“Y/N asked me something… concerning today,” Fili began softly, unsure if he was merely overreacting like Kili tended to do, or if there was more behind her seemingly innocent inquiry. 

“She wanted to know if Thorin liked her.”

Even though they both were walking along, it felt like the world stilled for a moment. Kili regarded him with a mirrored look of concern. “Asked if Thorin liked her, or if he _ fancied _her?” Kili asked slowly.

“I don’t know! Her manner of speaking is so different from ours that like and ‘like’ can mean something entirely different."

"What did you say?" Kili asked, brows pulled low. He hated that Fili always seemed to be put into a position of doubt of his chances with Y/N. 

"I didn't have a chance to answer. To be honest, it made me really worried and now I cannot stop thinking about all those things you said,” Fili groaned into his hands. “Only it seemed as if she was the one who was interested, not the other way around.”

“Fili, whatever you’re thinking about, stop. Find a way to ask her about it, obviously taking guesses is going to do more harm than good in this type of situation.”

“But Kee, if she fancies Thorin—”

Kili fixed him with a pointed look that Fili thought only their mother was capable of. He even shrunk back a little out of habit from all the scolding he’d gotten when he was younger; well before Kili was born. 

“Ask. Her. Don’t assume, don’t guess. Ask.”

“You’re right, I know,” Fili sighed, raking his fingers through his hair. It was pointless getting all worked up over—hopefully—nothing. But all this time he’d been on the fence looking out for signs of Thorin’s favor towards her that he didn’t stop to think that she might fancy _Thorin_. Was it even possible? Fili tried to latch onto all of positives of what he did know to comfort himself: their nightly discussions before sleep, the hints of interest he thought she was expressing to him in her lingering gazes and fleeting touches, and the huge secret she entrusted him with. The almost-kiss. All of that had to mean something. Even if she didn't love him yet, surely she felt something towards him! Y/N hasn't kissed anyone else's cheek or touched their hands like she did him. He knew because... he watched. His eyes automatically attuned to wherever she was. And oddly enough, it eased his troubled mind a little.

But Mahal, that question threw him in for a loop. There was a lot about her that he didn’t know about. What other secrets was she holding? Did she have any of him? What if he was getting this all wrong?

“Listen, Fee,” Kili broke him gently out of his inner turmoil. “I know she feels something for you. Nobody else lights up her face the way you do when you’re with her. Especially not Thorin. Whenever he’s around, Y/N cringes and makes a face like this.” Kili did his best to mimic the sort of shocked, dreadful expression that appeared on Y/N’s face every time Thorin asked to speak to her about something. 

Fili snorted. He appreciated the sentiment, and realized it was true and felt a bit more at ease. He was still nervous at her answer when he mustered the courage to bring it up, but Kili just being Kili was a big help. 

“I don’t know a single soul who makes that face around someone they fancy,” Kili laughed. “But when you two keep me awake with your ‘not flirting’, she has this…” He wound his hand in the air to try to summon the word. “Very specific expression on. Sometimes when she rolls over, she has the biggest grin on her wee face and it’s quite possibly the most adorable sight I’ve ever seen.”

“You never told me this! She does?” 

Kili nodded in confirmation, smiling at the equally adorable grin Fili was wearing right then, “Aye, she does. So don’t be me and jump to conclusions when we don’t know all the facts yet. Talk to your lass.”

_ That’s right, _ Fili thought to Thorin, feeling a surge of emboldened possession run through him. My _ lass. _

But he wouldn’t do it now; even though he was dying to get it over with. No, he was going to wait until evening camp and get to her before Thorin did. If anything, he’d pretend he was getting more information from her as an excuse to get her alone. 

Ugh, by the Void… this walk just seemed endless and ever long until then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm having fun with circulating all the doubts and misunderstandings among the various groups. Drama and slow burns were never really my strong suits, but I hope I'm executing them well. 
> 
> Which team are you rooting for, Thorin or Fili? Personally, I'm a Bofur gal, but... I'll save that for another story ;D


	16. Circles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in getting this chapter up! There were several rewrites before I finally settled on a concept. Also... (this is in the tags, but just as a forewarning) there's going to be a slight increase in sexual-related content on the horizon for this story. Anything overly explicit will be marked in the notes of the chapters, but get ready for a ramp up in sexual tension and maturity levels! ;D

Gold strokes crept into the pink stained sky giving the tranquil, invariant mass the sort of soft lavish effect in color that Bob Ross would’ve been ultra-triggered to paint. The air was cool, but not cold. And without her smartphone to inform her, Y/N wasn’t sure what time it was but guessed it was probably a quarter after seven. 

Having a whole fish as lunch had been very filling for her but she was looking forward to eating again whenever Thorin announced it was time to make camp for the night. All of the walking through this erratic terrain had made her burn a ton of calories every day and it was becoming noticeable to her that she was continuously losing weight. The Dwarves, and Bilbo, seemed to have a level of metabolism that differed greatly from her own, but she saw that Bilbo was looking slimmer than she recalled, too. It was hard to tell with the Dwarves due to their facial hair and heavy clothing; they sure were a sturdy lot. 

They pressed on towards the breathtaking change in the skyscape and Y/N still wanted to tell Thorin about her meetup with the voice and was determined to do that before the end of the day. When Thorin pulled her aside during lunch to check up on her, she made it a point to tell him that she wanted to have a meeting later about what happened. He readily agreed to discuss it before they retired for the night. 

For now, she wanted to let him be; knowing his focus was covering as much ground as they could before he announced their last stop.

As she looked over at the Misty Mountains creeping into view from out yonder, she knew they were heading towards the Goblins. The plan was to wait for Gandalf, as they should have done all along when she dreamed this particular part of the journey, and she tried to fathom a different path they could have taken instead of hiking up that humongous mound of rock. 

But according to Balin, the only way forward was taking the mountains; any detours would lose them months of time that they couldn’t afford. 

Y/N was still uncertain if her choices were making any lasting effects. Making any difference. It was hard for her to understand why Mahal had selected her to be the Savior and Guardian of the line of Durin out of anybody else who was way smarter or capable than she was. Why not a Dwarf? Why not someone from the land of Middle Earth? Even though, out of all people from all worlds that could have been chosen, Y/N was the one who lucked out. But in the grand scheme of things, she felt painfully insignificant. As infinitesimal as a single star in the night sky. Yet for some reason, she was chosen and given the highest of honors. She was given the chance to save these strangers from a terrible fate knowing little to nothing about the world they lived in.

Why?

It was funny how just several months ago when she first started having these epic recurring dreams that she would unknowingly find herself living it one day. Like, really living it. Sometimes she’d have to give herself another reality check just in case she was still dreaming and find herself waking up in bed on planet earth. But every day she woke up was another day on the road with her band of Dwarves and a Hobbit that were growing to be so dear to her. 

Her friends. 

_ And crush, _ her heart reminded. 

It probably wasn’t a good idea to indulge in this fantasy romance she was harboring, but it was so much harder ignoring that pull she felt whenever Fili was near. He was everything she could possibly hope for in a partner, and he was just so genuinely—so unassumingly—himself that if she did return home, every man she’d encounter henceforth would have very high standards to meet; forever being compared to Fili. But then… no one really could compare to him, could they?

Y/N doubted that any man would have thought to carry her for miles just because she fell faint. Or always serve her food before himself, or stay up talking all night long with genuine interest, never interrupting just to get their thoughts in. She couldn’t help but have feelings for him, even though her chances with him were hopeless. He was a warrior. A real, honest to goodness _ warrior_, and his uncle was the king of all Dwarves! What could she possibly offer him in return? Despite the piques of interest she saw him expressing, Y/N wasn’t sure what Fili really thought of her. Since women here weren’t supposed to make any moves on those they liked, all she could do was display interest as subtly as she could, without being so forward. Speaking of said forbidden love interest, something seemed to be bothering him.

When Y/N tried to approach him about it, all she got was an “I’m all right, but let’s talk later,” and a forced smile before he excused himself to be left to his thoughts for the remainder of the walk. Which was fine. Everyone was entitled to their own space, but given the time it took her to really get to know him, Fili’s sudden change of behavior was uncharacteristic of him. He was always welcome to her company, especially when things were troubling his mind. 

Had she done something wrong? She couldn’t help but wonder if she had said something to upset him or if something happened that she missed. The only small solace she got was the promise to talk about it later, but until then all Y/N could do was stew in a sea of anxiety over all the ambiguity. 

Kili was quick to accompany her after Fili broke off. 

“Don’t mind him, he’s in a bit of a mood,” he said, as if he knew Y/N would start walking along that downtrodden path in her brain. Kili had a cheerful undertone that gave way to some aura of reassurance on Fili’s disposition. Y/N sighed and rolled her eyes. These “moods” seemed to be quite an annoying Durin family trait that she was only just beginning to get accustomed to. Were all three of them always so randomly moody? 

“Did he not get enough to eat or something? Everyone else isn’t all hangry anymore.”

Kili tilted his head at the word. “Hangry?”

“Angry and hungry.”

Kili tested the word out a few times and chuckled. “I like it! No, he’s just got a lot on his mind. Actually, I was hoping that you could help him out with it.”

Y/N regarded him curiously from the side. “Why? Did he say something to you about what was wrong?”

Kili shot her a very charming, obvious look. “I’m his brother, of course he told me.”

Y/N waited for him expectantly to continue but when nothing further came of it, she prompted, “Well?”

“Well?” he echoed.

She smacked his arm. “Are you gonna tell me or not?”

Kili smirked and hummed to himself as he pretended to think about it, going on a moment longer than necessary, and she smacked him again for teasing her. “Forget it, you imp. _ You _talk to him. Clearly whatever it is, is better handled between you two troublesome brothers,” she huffed.

Kili laughed as he pulled her back from reeling off and she couldn’t help but chuckle along with him. Kili had such a contagious laugh, the damn charmer. 

“Troublesome! Oh, stop, I was just having a bit of fun with you! He just needs some time to sort his thoughts.”

“Okay, so why would he need to talk to me about it if he already discussed it with you?” she pressed, suspicious at Kili’s vagueness on what was bothering Fili.

Kili ducked his head and scratched the back of his neck. It wasn’t a very encouraging sign and Y/N’s suspicions rose higher. She didn’t intend to pry the information out of him, but Kili was the one who brought it up first and Y/N really didn’t want to be left grasping at straws if the matter concerned her directly. He rolled his lips in and said, “Don’t sound so sullen, Y/N. I happen to know that he really enjoys talking with you, you put his spirits much higher than I ever could.”

“Really?” That came out incredibly more excited than she intended to, so she cleared her throat and backpedaled with, “Well, yeah, I am the King Whisperer after all! Must be doing something right to have earned that title.”

Kili only half smiled at that, and it didn’t quite reach his eyes. But his words gave her the strength she needed to shake herself free of any doubts clouding her mind while she had no choice but to bide her time for camp. 

* * *

As the Company got settled in camp for the evening, they immediately started cooking up the remaining fish they had on hand for dinner. It was darker out than normal because Thorin had them press on a little later than usual since their lunch break had caused them to fall a bit behind and they already had supper on hand. Nobody minded.

It came as great news to everyone to know that there was a lake nearby and they all organized their bathing rounds. Y/N impatiently busied herself as she waited for her turn. She couldn’t wait to wash the stink she no doubt was carrying off of her. It was always a little scary bathing by herself; it was highly improper for all of them to bathe together due to their differing genders, so she had “chaperones” who would stand guard on her behalf. Decidedly, it was Bombur and Gloin who were appointed to keep watch since they were the only ones who were married out of the lot of them.

Y/N set her things down and started working on unlacing her boots to air out her aching feet. There was no telling what sort of smells were going to come from them, but she didn’t care—odds are the guys’ smelled worse than hers, anyway. Besides, the smell of fish would surely far outweigh any odor her feet could possibly emit and she really wanted to rub them down.

But as Y/N was getting to work on untying her stubborn laces, Fili approached and stole her attention away from her task. He hadn’t bathed yet and his hair was slightly disheveled from traveling. As great as he looked freshly washed and groomed, there was a certain attractiveness to him in a state of unkempt. Usually, this was birthed from exertion, especially when they sparred together, and extensive traveling with long gaps in between bathing. Y/N fought down a blush at imagining what Fili looked like shirtless, dripping with sweat from a strenuous workout, or while bathing. Or how nice his muscles must be—

“Need some help with that?” he nodded towards her boots. Abandoning the need to ease her sore feet and muscles, she waved away the offer and looked up at him from where she was sitting. 

“No, I was just giving myself something to do. I’m looking forward to finally washing the grime of these past several days off.”

“Me too.” He paused and tentatively gestured to the spot beside her. “Can I sit with you?”

Y/N gave him an inviting smile and patted beside her. Fili sat close, but Y/N noticed that he kept a certain distance that he didn’t normally take. Usually, he sat close enough that their knees touched, and based on the look on his face, he definitely had something weighing on his mind. And whatever it was had to be about her. Y/N was officially concerned. Kili made it seem that it wasn’t such a big deal earlier, but then again, he didn’t exactly prep her on what the subject would be about. 

“What’s on your mind, Fili?”

As Fili’s eyes roamed her face, he cleared his throat, looking unsure. “May I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“It’s rather… personal.”

Y/N quirked an eyebrow, curious. With butterflies the size of bats flying around her ribcage. “You know how open I am. Go ahead.” 

“What do you think of Thorin?” 

Y/N blinked and squinted at him, wondering how in the world this was considered a personal question or tied to his “mood” as Kili called it. If there was a hidden meaning laced somewhere in the inquiry, Y/N was unable to decipher it. She had half expected a more inappropriate question of sorts, or some type of uncomfortable confession. Or, dare she hope, his confession of having some sort of feelings for her. That would likely always just be wishful thinking.

Fili stared expectantly, his face unreadable. 

Oddly disappointed, Y/N made it a point to be visibly confounded, as she had no clue what prompted this question at all, “I think he’s a bit of a cantankerous old man at times, but he has a loyal heart and good intentions and I know that despite his occasional, ridiculous logic he isn’t so bad.” She shrugged, still not fully understanding why her thoughts about Thorin were important. 

“That’s all?” he asked hopefully.

Y/N scratched the back of her neck as an excuse to do anything but throw him continuous confused looks that weren’t being alleviated away with proper explanations.

“What else did you want me to say? I know we may not always agree on everything, but I’m not gonna badmouth him over it.”

Fili gave her a coy look, but there was a certain joy in his eyes that brought out a boyish charm strong enough to make her melt into a puddle of goo inside. “I was just wondering what you meant earlier, when you asked me if he liked you.”

Y/N’s eyes widened in understanding, everything Kili implied earlier now making sense. “Oh, god! No, I was just asking what he thought of me because he’s always acting so hot and cold. I wasn’t asking if he… y’know, _ liked _me liked me, just if he tolerated me or just had contempt for me. Wow, this is really embarrassing and awkward…”

Fili digested her words and while he took them all in, a smile appeared as a wave of relief crashed into him. He was pleased by her answer and let out a happy chuckle at Y/N’s reaction as she launched herself forward to continue defending and explain herself. Fili watched on in amusement, resting his chin in his hand and not bothering to stop her from tumbling over her words. The fact that she was so vehemently against the idea was a very good sign and he felt positively elated.

“Not that Thorin isn’t a catch or anything! Don’t get the wrong idea, I was asking from the stance of friendship. Because, y’know, it’d be really weird if he… you’re supposed to stop me when I babble like this,” she pouted, bringing her rant to a halt once she caught sight of Fili’s indulging grin.

Fili shook his head with a devious look twinkling in his eyes. “No, watching you go on is way more fun.” _And adorable_, his mind tacked on.

Y/N shoved him away, feeling very foolish but happy that she was worked up over literally nothing. “What _ does _Thorin think of me anyway? You never answered.” 

Now that he knew the real implication of her question, Fili didn’t feel threatened by it this time around. Unfortunately, he didn’t have an answer for her. Mainly because he didn’t really know. He wanted Thorin to approve of her, but it was hard to know where he stood. However, Fili knew for a fact that Thorin didn’t dislike her. His uncle tended to behave in a very particular way around those he held no respect or care for. 

The smell of cooking fish was beginning to permeate in the air around them. Soon, it would be time to eat. The chipper voices of their freshly washed friends as they arrived back from the lake served to add to the pleasant atmosphere, making it feel full and safe despite the dangers that waited for them both within and beyond the mountains. The Misty Mountains were just on the horizon and by tomorrow at this time of day, they would be making the climb. Fili knew that the closer they got to Erebor, the more urgent Thorin would become. He was getting pretty excited, too. After hearing about the kingdom so often, he was anxious to finally see it. And share it with Y/N.

Y/N added, “I mean, I see him as a good friend. He’s not the easiest person to figure out and I’m trying to have patience with him like you said, but he can be so wishy washy and confusing. But I do know he’d never lie to me or hurt me intentionally, he’s got to be the most honest, noble person I’ve met in that regard. Aside from you, of course, so—what’s wrong? What'd I say now?”

Fili didn’t realize that he’d been giving her a pained look. But there was something else that he wanted to bring to light before they ended their conversation in lieu of the positive things she was saying on Thorin’s behalf. But he didn’t know if he had the candor to do it now.

“You trust Thorin,” he noted. And, in any other respect, she should. 

Y/N regarded Fili with a puzzled stare. “Yeah, why? You implying I shouldn’t?” she finished playfully. The playful look dropped when Fili didn’t join in her merriment. 

Something unsaid hung in the air between them and only grew heavier and heavier as each second passed.

Unable to take any small talk to ease them in or any awkward silences before he could arrive at the notion to brush it off, Y/N decided to be the one to break the ice. Her worry had to have shown in her voice, though she wasn’t doing much to keep it to herself. “What’s going on?” 

Fili’s answering look of reluctance did little to ease her and if he didn’t get to the point quickly, she felt she would surely explode all over camp. 

“There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you, but I cannot seem to find the words without it sounding so terrible. But no matter how I look at it, it is quite terrible.”

“Well, whatever it is, I’d rather you just come out and say it. I’m not digging this intense cryptic right now.” 

Y/N’s heart threatened to leap out of her chest to safety. All of her senses were becoming keenly aware of the oncoming hurt that was sure to follow with Fili’s words. There was no telling what Fili was going to say and this all seemed to be coming out of nowhere considering how well Y/N thought she and Thorin had been getting along lately. Her mind reeled back thinking of what she could have possibly said or done to link to this “terrible” thing Fili was about to tell her. 

Fili was no better off. He could sense the thick tension in the air between him and it felt like stars dying in his chest with Y/N looking at him like that. Bracing herself. 

Fili did intend to ask her about what she meant about if Thorin liked her, but during the walk, he heavily debated on telling her about Thorin’s plan of spying, too. At first, the jealous, possessive side of him wanted to tell her out of spite. So that in the event she was interested in Thorin, it would deter her feelings out of favor.

But as his mind cleared, Fili decided against that act of pettiness. But now in light of what they were discussing, his guilty conscience would be the reason why he could no longer keep the secret to himself. If they were ever going to be together, he wanted it to be on a clean slate with no secrets between them. It would mean betraying Thorin’s wishes, but that was a risk he had to take if it meant being the mate Y/N deserved, and it was the right thing to do. And afterward to make it right, he would confess what he had done to Thorin.

“I shouldn’t be telling you this, but given the trust you have with me—and him—I could not keep it to myself any longer. Thorin…” he interjected carefully, even looking over to see if they were being watched before continuing in a hushed voice. “He ordered Kili and me to spy on you.”

Y/N’s eyebrows popped and she felt her heart stop. She wasn’t quite expecting that of all things, but it was still baffling and hurtful to hear nonetheless. Many varying emotions sped across her face. “He ordered you to _spy _on me? Why? For what?” 

A shadow passed over his face, regurgitating the conversation that was had between the three of them. “He knows you’re keeping something from him—about what your dreams have shown you. I haven’t told him about the death you’ve seen and I promise you I never will. He trusts you, but he’s still suspicious. So, he asked us to get more information from you to report back to him so he could be better prepared for the events ahead.”

Y/N clenched her hands into fists and glared at the ground, not daring to look over at Thorin lest he happened to catch her eye and know something was up. Anger and hurt bubbled in her chest. Thorin had violated their terms; the whole point of their talks was to get them on equal footing and he promised her that he would accept the details she chose to divulge. But to sneak behind her back like that, and to bring Kili and Fili into it... 

Y/N felt Fili scoot in closer and place his hand on her back, but she received no comfort from his touch. 

“I don’t get it. We talk almost every night and I _ told _him—” she cut herself out with a frustrated growl and turned to Fili. “Why would he do this!? God, it’s like we’re running in circles!"

Fili removed his hand when Y/N stiffened under his touch, and he fought the sick feeling he was starting to feel from the pain in her voice. It was too late to take back those words now, but in a way, Fili did feel unburdened and he didn’t regret telling her like he feared he would. Fili wanted no part of Thorin’s plan, so it was liberating to finally have the truth out in the open. He sighed deeply.

“I don’t agree with how he chose to go about his method, but he has his reasons. That is all I will say about it. I’m sorry, Y/N, I should have told you sooner, or just told him no. I knew better, but he put us into a difficult position and...” He kept the ‘it was the best way for me to be close to you without his interference' bit to himself. 

Y/N had no idea when Kili and Fili had been tasked to spy on her, or how long it’s been going on. But she could only fear that she had been misinterpreting all of Fili’s possible signs of interest. And all the things she had told him and promised him to keep between them. Her trust had begun to waver. 

“So all this time… you were talking with me just to get information?”

As Y/N started to withdraw from him, Fili panicked. He lunged forward as she began to stand and didn’t take back his hand from her arm. Though, understandably, it was possible that as good as his intentions were for coming clean now, they still held dire consequences as a result. The last thing he wanted was for Y/N to think that their time together was tainted in any way.

“No! Gods, no! I talk with you because I enjoy our conversations! I like learning about you and hearing your thoughts, your stories, and your unique manner of speaking. He only recently asked us to do this, but I didn’t tell him a thing, I swear to you! I would never betray your trust like that.”

“Well, honestly, Fili, my trust is shaken a bit because of all this.” 

At that, Fili’s hand dropped to his side and he was visibly crestfallen and ashamed. But Y/N could both see and understand that Fili hadn’t betrayed her trust, not really. If he told Thorin about what he promised to keep secret, Thorin would be acting very differently. And he wouldn’t be pestering her for more details each time they talked, either. Still, she didn’t know what Fili and Kili reported back to their uncle, but one thing was certain: Fili obviously wanted no part of it and was remorseful at being involved in it at all. 

“But you didn’t have to tell me, you could have just continued keeping this to yourself. So, for that, I forgive you,” Y/N said.

Fili nodded numbly, murmuring, “It will not happen again.” Y/N slid her hand into Fili’s and gave it a squeeze. He returned it earnestly, and he fought the urge not to brush his lips across her knuckles, or intertwine their fingers. Or pull her in for a tight embrace. He settled for the small weight of her hand in his, a sign of forgiveness he was more than willing to grasp. Y/N’s sigh left her in a deep whoosh and Fili concurred with the notion. It was an awful situation to be put in but telling her about this was the right thing to do.

Much too soon, he felt her hand slip from his.

“Can I ask you something?” 

Fili made sure to give her his full attention. “Of course.”

Ori strolled over sporting a giddy smile, waving Fili over. “We’re up next for washing!” Fili thanked him for the information but shooed him off. Nothing was going to tear him away from this conversation. 

“In a moment! What is it?” He returned his focus to Y/N, ignoring everything and everyone else around them. 

“In your honest opinion, do you think it would be better if I told Thorin about what I saw or should I keep that between us?”

Fili frowned and threw Thorin a hesitant glance. He knew exactly what Thorin would do with that information. But at the end of the day, it wasn’t his knowledge to know. Y/N alone was blessed with the Sight and even if she didn’t have faith in herself for the choices she made, Fili had faith in her. Mahal did, too. It was none of their business and this was Y/N’s task, not Thorin’s.

“My personal opinion would be to keep that to yourself. That is not for anyone to know but you. However, I trust your judgement. If you feel it would be better to tell him, then do it.”

Y/N nervously chewed her lip and shook her head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea right now. I still have a lot to sort out, especially after learning what he pulled.”

Fili nodded understandingly, still making no move to head off to wash even though his group was leaving without him. Although his dirty secret was out in the open, he didn’t have the heart to part from Y/N just yet. She regarded Fili for a moment and suddenly all the tension left the air. There were a lot of things Y/N wanted to say, but there were only two words she could think of at the time to properly sum up what she was feeling. 

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For being you.”

Fili couldn’t help but blush and grin at that smile of hers. But it fell once an unwelcome voice called to him to tell him to go wash. Y/N didn’t look Thorin’s way, and she kept her glare to herself. 

As Fili rose to his feet, she followed and walked beside him. As they walked together, she leaned towards him so as not to be overheard, “I’m going to confront him about what you told me. He needs to know that that’s not okay.”

Fili avidly waved that off. 

“There’s no need for you to do that, I’ll talk to him. It would be better coming from me, he needs to know that you’ll open up to him on your own terms. But..." Fili’s thoughts drifted to formulate the best plan of action for when he would tell him. There was no way of knowing how Thorin would react, and Fili's worst fear was him refusing him spending time with Y/N after he told him. 

“For now, it may be best for us to keep on the pretense that you don’t know about it. At least for a while.”

Y/N crossed her arms and stopped, causing Fili's pace to halt as well. He didn’t blame her for responding the way that she did, it was very much justified. But disobeying his uncle once was enough. 

“When exactly are you planning on telling him?” she asked with an edge to her voice. 

Fili sighed and ran his hand through his tangled hair, making one of his braids swing loose. He quickly tucked it behind his ear

“Well? I know it was an order for you, but it impacted me, too, and I never would have known about it had you not even told me. He didn’t have the right to encroach on our trust for one another like that, I don’t care what his reasons are.”

Fili opened his mouth as Thorin gave him a not so friendly command of encouragement to get going and Fili tugged her along with him. 

He hurriedly told her, “I know, but I am also at fault for disrupting your faith in me. And this situation needs to be handled very delicately. Once he finds out that I disobeyed _ his _trust, he might not take kindly to us spending time together… do you understand?”

Y/N’s stern look dropped instantly, with her arms following suit. “I didn’t think of it that way… you’re right.” She sighed. “All right, I guess you and I have another secret then, huh.” 

Fili frowned, understanding that this wasn’t an easy decision to make, but nodded. Then a slow smile grew on his face, feeling suddenly emboldened. “Is it wrong of me to like that you and I share secrets together?”

His smile was contagious enough to bring out her own and Y/N did nothing to stop the fact that she was blatantly ogling at him. 

“Not at all, but you know a lot more of mine than I do yours,” she mused, watching it widen into the hearty dimples she grew to adore. “You have the sweetest smile.”

”It is nowhere near as dazzling as yours,” he coolly replied. 

With the mood improving and the crisis behind them for now, Fili inched his way to retrieve his bathing materials when they came to a stop at his supplies. Both of them felt their connection shift back into place and their bond strengthened at the outcome. 

“Oh stop, you’ll make me blush.” Y/N exclaimed dramatically as she gave a playful nudge and he returned it with a wink.

“Ah, that would be more dazzling still…” 

She huffed, but smiled. “Yeah, good luck with that. I’m not so easily flustered anymore.”

That familiar mischievous look she’d grown used to seeing on occasion appeared on his face, erasing all traces of worry that remained. “Is that a challenge.”

“Think you got what it takes? Bring it on!”

He chuckled darkly and gathered his change of clothes and various bottles from his pack before he rose, but not before leaning over to whisper seductively in her ear, “Careful, lass, I fully intend to take this challenge very seriously,” then out loud: “Well, I’m off!”

“Hey! You still owe me a secret!” she playfully reminded him. 

He walked backwards towards the lake, an overly contemplative look on his face. “Hmm… I believe I can remedy that.”

Fili gave a final wave and started away, leaving Y/N and her scrambled thoughts to evaluate a few things. Though she’d forgiven Fili, she was still mad at Thorin and had a lot to consider for how she was supposed to deal with her newfound knowledge in the meantime. 

* * *

When Y/N’s eyes landed on him after Fili’s departure, Thorin wasn’t sure what transpired between the pair of them, but it was obviously of great importance; he could see it in her expression. He didn’t want to rush them through whatever it was they were talking about, but if Fili missed his chance to bathe before it got darker, he wouldn’t be permitted to do so by himself for safety reasons in case they had a surprise attack. 

Thus far, Dwalin’s scouting, and watch, was all clear. But he didn’t want to take any chances. For the sake of establishing his dominance and authority over the group, Thorin wasn’t about to bend his own orders for anyone, not even his nephew. It wouldn’t have mattered that the obvious solution would be for Fili to just bathe with him and Bilbo because the whole point of deciding who was placed into which group was so that Thorin could have time alone with the Hobbit to question him. It would be awkward to have Fili there and Bilbo likely wouldn’t open up. 

Along with ensuring the safety of the Company as a whole, there were Orcs mucking around out there, for Durin’s sake. There was more than one reason why Thorin paired his people up in set groups; safety was always first and foremost Thorin’s main concern. Especially when it came to be Y/N’s turn to bathe. Even though Gloin and Bombur would be standing post while she washed, if something happened, Y/N would be all alone in the water. Naked, exposed, vulnerable; much more vulnerable than any of them getting caught with their trousers down, so to speak.

When her eyes swept over him for the third time, Thorin canted his head in invitation. He was intrigued to know what she wanted to tell him from earlier and intended to follow up with their burglar when it came time for them to wash. 

She shook her head to decline his offer before sitting down and struggled getting her boots off. It was strange how the many things that came naturally to them were such foreign concepts to her. Y/N’s old footwear, “sneakers”, from her world did not have any laces, and the simple knots she was tying for her boots had kept coming undone until Kili showed her how to tie a tighter knot. She didn’t know how to hunt or skin hides, couldn’t fight, and couldn’t tell the difference between a “pretty flower” and a poisonous plant. Thank Mahal Fili was always by her side... 

For someone so “technologically advanced”, as Y/N put it, she sure was stunted by the most basic of tasks. Thorin knew for certain that she would not survive out here by herself. 

As Thorin watched Y/N express her moment of victory at untying that stubborn knot in her boots, a twist formed in his chest. She was so innocent in all of this… and yet she was so kind and knowledgeable for them. And him. Her insight of her dreams made up for a multitude of her faults at her ineptitude of surviving out here in the wilderness. She was prepared and eager to lead them to victory and suffering through painful visions on top of everything else. All of the talks they’d had were hard for him to do at first, but now he couldn’t imagine how he got along without someone to speak to him like a person. When he was king, there would be formalities imposed not just by his subjects, but his own kin. He may not have another chance to speak to anyone so informally like this after he reclaimed his homeland. 

Y/N was gifting him nothing but fond memories to hold onto when that time came. Mahal, she was so young and so innocent and yet she was supposedly their Guardian and Savior. Thorin couldn’t wrap his head around it. But then again, maybe that was because his head was in the way. 

Without fully understanding why, he wanted to protect her. 

And more so, Thorin didn’t want to sneak behind her back like he was doing just to get the answers that he knew she was keeping from him, but it was too late to back out now. When the idea to spy first came to him, Thorin thought he had lost his sense of honor. But like most of his persistent thoughts, it wouldn’t go away until he dealt with it. 

And as his father always said whenever Thorin had begun something he seemed to drift from: _ when you open a dam, it cannot be mended. It must run its course before you can repair it. _

He just wished he knew where this particular dam ended. 

* * * * *

“About time you showed up!” Nori said, sending a splash of water Fili’s way when he placed his things among the others. “We only have ten minutes left before it’s Thorin and Bilbo’s turn. Watch yer laddies getting in, the water’s mighty cold at first!” the redhead chortled. 

Fili gave an unapologetic shrug at his tardiness and began disrobing, making sure his dirty clothes were kept separate from the clean ones. He was all too eager to get clean and smelling nice again. Ori and Dori were trying to do their due diligence with bathing while Nori splashed and leapt around to entice them to join. Ori almost caved and retaliated with a splash of his own, but Dori was there to reel him back and scold the middle brother to pipe down and get his bathing over with. 

Based on where the other lads were washing, the water wasn’t very deep and went up to their stomachs. Fili shivered as he entered the water, he did his best to suppress his yelp when it lapped up to meet his sensitive stones. The water was indeed very cold with the sun’s absence, but Fili’s body was slowly adapting to it after he submerged himself. 

Nori chuckled at Fili’s discomfort and sent another splash his way, pouting when nobody would respond in kind. 

“I wonder why Thorin’s washing with the Hobbit this time around,” Nori hummed. “Usually he bathes with Dwalin.”

Fili knew why, but he kept that information to himself and lathered some heavy suds into his hair and beard. The familiar scent of his musky sandalwood shampoo was a welcome comfort in his nose. He breathed it in deeply and exhaled with a pleased, content sigh. 

“Who cares, just hurry up and wash already! The sooner we get clean, the sooner Lady Y/N can bathe. It’s already dark out; she should have gone first,” Dori grumbled, soaping up and massaging Ori’s hair as the youngest Ri brother squirmed and fidgeted. Bathing was always a bonding event for dwarrows, but unfortunately, the shortened time dulled the experience for everyone. 

Fili stilled and took a look around. The lake wasn’t very secluded and though they had torches to give them some form of light along the shore, Y/N didn’t have the luxury of a bathing companion to take out in the water with her; nobody to bond with. He was happy that she had bodyguards to stand watch, but what if something happened while she was bathing? 

She’d be naked and helpless while Fili was stuck at camp! While he ran his bar of soap over himself to rid the dirt and the endless days of traveling, he wondered if there was a better way to go about her bathing alone. They’d all been lucky thus far not to get into any trouble while washing, but all it took was one attack. 

Fili scrubbed his soap in quick, thorough wipes as he wondered what they all would do in the event of an attack while Y/N was bathing. Would she be forced to remain in the water or run to safety? Gods, if she had to retreat to the shore, Fili would not want anybody seeing her all bare and dripping wet—

He felt a stirring down in his nethers as he cupped himself with his soap and inwardly groaned. Mahal, it’s been forever since he tended to his needs, but he did not need any encouragement from his scumbag brain spewing tantalizing images during a ten minute wash while other dwarrow were present!

He abandoned his lad for now and rinsed out his hair, doing everything in his power to think of something else—anything else—aside from such wanton, dishonorable visions of Y/N bathing herself out in the moonlight. But his young male mind was having none of it and he quickly caved. What would it be like to bathe together? It wondered as his hand drifted back down. If they were together and proceeded to that sort of stage of intimacy of being able to wash each other, would she let him wash her hair? Her back? Would she wash his? And would she be put off if he became aroused by her touch? Or… would she say something like— 

“Need a hand, Fili?”

Fili whirled around, momentarily appalled that the others might catch on to what Fili was up to from Nori’s outrageous request before realizing that he was just talking about washing his back for him. 

“According to Father Time over here, we only have about a minute or so left before he’s ushering us out of the water and you still got muck on yer back,” he added with a lewd side stare at his oldest brother. 

“Already? Sure,” Fili replied, handing over his soap. The images he conjured of Y/N were still burned into his mind and after they all washed and rinsed, they started making their way back to shore. Fili only made it part of the way when he realized he had a certain, er, problem to take care of. 

Durin’s beard… of all the inconvenient things to happen to him. Covering up for modesty, and while all three of their backs were turned, Fili followed behind the Ri family before making quick work of getting his unders and trousers back on before anyone could take notice. Thankfully by the time he was finished dressing and Thorin and Bilbo began walking towards them, his problem had gone away.

Thorin nodded hello to him on his approach and he and Bilbo began undressing while they talked all the while Fili and the Ri’s made their way back. As camp grew into view, Fili spotted Y/N over by the fire and all he could see was his imagination running rampant. He hoped he could keep any lustful fantasies of her at bay, but after tonight’s concoction, he might not be so lucky. He wanted to know her taste, he wanted to know her more intimately than anyone ever has. And he wanted to give himself completely over to her. Fili feared that these urges were only growing stronger and stronger every day. 

Being a young, smitten, virile dwarrow such as himself put a strain on things, however. Fili hoped he wasn’t the only one in desperate need of release. He couldn’t be the only one with these urges. Mahal, maybe it was for the best that he and Y/N didn’t kiss. If he knew the taste of her lips, there’s no telling how torturous these pent up frustrations would be for him. And he would never subject Y/N to such carnal advances. 

Kili happened to spot his return and cheerfully waved him over to sit with him, Y/N, and Bofur by the fire. Fili welcomed this invitation, eager to put a stop to his inappropriate thoughts. 

“Perfect timing!” Bofur clapped. “Y/N was just about to tell us more about Galavant. Here, sit, sit!” He scooted over and patted the seat between him and Y/N. Kili was at her right, leaning over to give Fili a pointed look that Fili didn’t understand. 

Y/N rolled her eyes and grinned. “I never thought this story would take off so well, but I’m glad you like it.”

Dwalin was also eager to hear more of the story, having taken a great liking to King Richard’s best chum, Gareth, due to their sharing similar interests. He handed Y/N his lute to accompany her for the part of the story that involved singing. 

“By the way,” Kili began as inconspicuously as he could—and having a bad go of it at that. “I’m curious about something. Is Galavant modeled after the ideal man in your world?”

Ah, now Fili understood. His brother never was very subtle, but at least nobody else but him would be able to pick up on what Kili was actually trying to do. Though, they might misunderstand given the amount of innuendo in his voice; mistaking his intent. 

Y/N propped the instrument on her lap and scratched at her neck before twirling a strand of her hair around her fingers. “I guess? He’s supposed to be the Prince Charming stereotype that all girls are supposed to look for: tall, dark, handsome, and valiant.”

Though he was far from tall or dark, Fili perked up remembering the nickname she gave him as his eyes zeroed in on her face, hoping to catch her eye and see some sign of interest that she might be showing for him specifically. But she did not. 

Bofur added rather cheekily, “Oooh, is that yer ideal, then, lass? The Prince Charming type?”

Before she could answer, Dwalin barked out an annoyed grunt. “I thought we gathered for a story, not swappin’ personal interests! We only have fifteen minutes until it’s Y/N’s turn to bathe, and I’m not wastin’ a single second on this rubbish. Go on then, Y/N. Continue the tale.”

A few other dwarrows inadvertently voted in favor of continuing the tale of Galavant while they ate as opposed to insight on Y/N’s personal interest of partners, so there was no arguing that. Bofur and Kili reluctantly dropped the subject, both keen on bringing it up again somehow later on. At this point in the tale, Madalena was experiencing the beginnings of attraction, realizing that her heart might be calling out to the person she loved.

Fili on the other hand was just trying desperately not to stare in her eyes and search for clues in the way Y/N seemed to be singing to him.

_If I am feeling_

_Some stupid feeling_

_Why can't it just go away?_

_Why did all these feelings have to start?_

_Tearing at my armor plated heart_

_What if, god forbid, they're here to stay?_

_How can I unfeel the way I feel today?_

_What is this feeling?_

_Is it a feeling?_

* * * * *

Bilbo was very nervous. 

He wondered why Thorin paired them together for bathing instead of the usual lineup, but he decided to use this as an opportunity. Depending on how open Thorin was, maybe Bilbo could casually squeeze in the topic of Y/N and gauge his response and interest. But merciful Eru, if talking to Thorin wasn’t intimidating enough as it was in a group setting. 

Now they were together, alone, and very naked. 

Though it wasn’t sexual in the slightest, Bilbo couldn’t help but be baffled at the Dwarf’s impressive, powerful physique and allure. Wide shoulders and thick muscles displayed down Thorin’s scarred back. His biceps and forearms were roped with bulk and experience in both wielding and making weapons. 

Dark chest hair dusted across Thorin’s large chest, while Bilbo had just a small splat of auburn hair in between his not-so-impressive pecs. And then a long trail leading right down a V of a capable “lad”, as they called it, with the twin weights hanging below, nestled in dark lush curls. 

Everything about Thorin exuded power, dominance, and strength. Bilbo couldn’t fault Y/N for taking such a liking to him. In order not to stare in awe at this enticing specimen, Bilbo made sure to keep his back turned while they washed in the start of uncomfortable silence with nothing but the sound of chirping insects and the gentle sound of dripping water they disrupted to fill in the rest. 

“So,” Thorin’s deep voice penetrated suddenly, causing Bilbo to jump. “How are you faring thus far in your travels with us, Mister Baggins?”

“U-um, very well, thank you! It’s been an adjustment to say the least, but I don’t regret stepping foot outside my door to chase you all down.”

Thorin's chuckled rolled out of him like soft thunder. “That is good to hear.”

It was obvious that this cordial smalltalk was going to lead elsewhere, but Bilbo didn’t have time to venture a guess. The loud sound of water cascading into the lake drew Bilbo’s attention to Thorin just in time to see him finish emerging from the water after dunking his head to rinse out his hair. Thorin was quite tall for a Dwarf; the water only managed to hit just shy of his pelvic bone so the start of dark hair from down below was made visible. 

Bilbo forced his eyes to remain above the waist and Thorin eyed him with a peculiar look. “Was there something you needed from me?” Bilbo asked more confidently than he felt. 

Thorin quirked a brow at him. “Is there something you wish to share?” Came the retort. 

Bilbo lifted his hands before placing them on his hips, causing a splash. “You tell me! You’re the one who paired us together out here for the first time since we traveled. I know it wasn’t to ask how I’m faring or to share my company, either. So, out with it: what did you need from me?” 

Thorin at least had the decency to know when he was found out, so he got right to the point. “Very well. How close would you say you are to Y/N?”

_ Ah, so this was about Y/N after all _ , Bilbo thought. Bilbo almost hoped that Thorin _ did _want to spend more time with him and actually genuinely check on his well being; he felt curiously disappointed. But at least this wasn’t without purpose. In case Thorin had any doubt of competition, he wanted to make one thing very clear to him. 

“She’s just my friend, nothing more. Why?”

“I want to know what you have learned about her. I know you two speak of private matters often enough, but she will not open up to me.”

“Well, why do you think that is, Thorin?” Bilbo pinched the bridge of his nose, thwarting any urges to become overly flustered.

“I beg your pardon?”

Bilbo drew his hand up to recount his various points. 

“You have a frivolous temper, you’re stubborn, and you don’t consider taking the time to listen to what anybody else is trying to say to you without taking charge. Can you blame Y/N for not coming to you with an open heart? She’s terribly confused about you and I can’t say I blame her.”

Thorin’s sharp blue eyes narrowed and he ventured closer to the Hobbit until Bilbo had to crane his head up to meet his stare. “I did not ask you to insult me with your personal assessment, Master Burglar.”

That bite in his voice coupled with his "formal title" was not appreciated and Bilbo rose to the challenge in that deep voice.

“No,” Bilbo kicked his chin up defiantly. “You want me to spill Y/N’s inner feelings and thoughts to you because she isn’t comfortable enough to do so on her own. That’s what you really want, isn’t it.”

Thorin’s bright eyes were penetrating and unwavering. But he did not answer right away. While Thorin heaved a breath and exhaled in a sigh, Bilbo continued, trying to relax his body’s composure to avoid confrontation; Thorin had a way to make one buckle under pressure and Bilbo was determined to stand strong against him. He may be timid, but he wasn’t about to be pushed around now that he had a chance to tell him how it was face to face without an audience. But… this wasn’t Bilbo’s matter at all. It was Y/N’s. 

“Listen, I don’t want us to get all riled over this. But I care about Y/N and I don’t want to see her get hurt.”

Still not answering, Thorin merely lifted an eyebrow. Bilbo fought the urge to roll his eyes. For someone as masculine and commanding as he was, Thorin could be so childish and clueless. 

“Honestly, Thorin, stop jerking the poor lady around and make hay while the sun is shining or don’t bother at all. That's-that's all I'll say about it.” He nodded curtly, hoping it would end the discussion there. 

“...what are you talking about?” Thorin looked as confused as he sounded and Bilbo felt like sinking into the cold water to cool his flushing cheeks. 

“Please don’t make me say it…” Bilbo whined. This whole mess was irksome and uncomfortable for him. Never in a thousand years would Bilbo ever fathom playing matchmaker for an otherworldly human and a thick headed Dwarf while he and said Dwarf were in close proximity and naked. But here he was. 

“Illuminate me. I do not follow.”

_ Yeah, and that applies in more ways than one! _ Bilbo thought. 

Bilbo buried his face in his hands and groaned his embarrassment and frustration into them. Bofur had explicitly urged that they keep this matter hush hush. As much as it pained him, Bilbo decided to side with Bofur on this. Making a bold move on Y/N’s behalf, which he felt it had to be done lest these two continue to tiptoe around each other, was something that wasn’t in his place to do. Besides, Y/N might never forgive him if she found out. But Valar above, the sooner it was out, the sooner Bilbo could wash his hands and be done with this mess and let _ them _figure it out. 

But first, Thorin had to come to his senses. So, Bilbo decided to give him a push.

As Thorin waited quiet and puzzled, Bilbo broke away and busied himself with washing himself, even though the parts he was washing were already cleaned. He just needed a distraction as he considered what to say next without making any claims. Eru’s sake, it was like he was the one asking for Thorin to make a move on him! Thank goodness that wasn’t the case. But finally, after many sputterings and arbitrary rewashing, Bilbo drew in a breath. He mumbled to himself in frustration before he prepared to face Thorin again. 

“Confound you Dwarves for being so confusing! If you intend to woo her, then get on with it properly before you push the poor girl away and lose her interest!” he growled under his breath. Bilbo spun around, ready to march back over to Thorin, only to slam right into his chest. 

_ No. No, no, no, no, no… don’t tell me that he heard! _Bilbo grimaced and risked a glance upwards. His smooth, hairless cheeks brushing against the coarse hair on Thorin’s immovable chest was not nearly as awkward as not registering Thorin's approach as he said all those things. 

Thorin blinked once. Twice. Waited for Bilbo to start laughing; to claim that this was a jest. A simple farce. But those words didn’t come. Bilbo stared at Thorin, horrified, waiting for a reaction and Thorin stared at Bilbo, his brain taking some time to process the words he was sure he hadn’t just overheard. 

Bilbo was not going to say anything else about it. Short of digging himself a hole and pulling another one in after him, he desperately hoped that his anxiety was for naught, but Thorin’s eyes were locked onto him with a look of shock shining through when he finally comprehended what was said. Bilbo felt like caving in on himself. But not before shoving his foot down his throat where it rightfully belonged. 

Thorin stepped back and grasped Bilbo by the shoulders. He made sure his ears were open. 

“I am sorry. _ What_?”

* * *

When it came time for Y/N to bathe and she left with Gloin and Bombur, Fili decided to seize the opportunity to start on his personal project. He let Kili know what he intended to do and selected a corner out of view from where Y/N would return that would give him the most privacy. 

But just before he got himself situated, he happened to glance over and do a double take at Thorin, who looked deeply perplexed. 

Fili’s hands hesitated over his materials, his eyes flicked from them to Thorin and back again as he weighed the choice between working and talking to him. Ultimately, he decided it was none of his business and let his hands work. He couldn’t afford to let a minute pass while he had the opportunity to get going on Y/N’s next gift. And besides, whatever was troubling his uncle would either be cleared on its own or discussed with Y/N in the end anyway. 

It’d been a while since Fili indulged in this particular craft, but he was able to pick it right back up with no issue. He reckoned it would be completed in a week or two, depending on if he got the privacy he needed and didn’t have watch duty. 

While Fili crafted, the song Y/N sung replayed over and over in his head. Then his mind led him into the woods and back to the lake where said certain lady was. Naked. Skin slicked with water and glowing like a gem in the moonlight. With a growl, he tried to ignore the bulge in his trousers. 

* * * * *

Towards another section of camp, Bofur whittled away on the good luck talisman he’d been slaving away on. When he first started, he wasn’t sure what shape it should be, but eventually it decided on its own: a round pendant with Erebor carved in the background. A set of runes were etched around the circular border. Bofur also embossed a star in the sky to represent Y/N’s arrival. When he was finished with this, he knew that it would result in being a necklace of sorts. He’d keep it for now, but he wondered if it wouldn’t be better as a gift.

As the fire was tended to nearby, he drew comfort in the sound of the crackling tinder and the smoky smell it carried. It reminded him of home when he returned from work and hung up his hat. Partaking a large pitcher of ale and enjoying some peace and quiet after working in the mines all day. While he reminisced on nights passed, Bofur’s brown eyes flicked up when he saw rapid movement in his peripherals. He knew something was wrong without Bilbo’s worried face beckoning him over. Bofur dropped his whittling supplies and hurried over to him, unsure of what happened but concerned nonetheless. A part of him immediately thought that Thorin had wronged him somehow and he felt a surge of over-protectiveness overcome him. 

“What is it, Bilbo?” Bofor asked in a hushed voice. 

Bilbo flicked his gaze over to Thorin for a moment. They had only arrived back at camp a short time ago, but the last thing he needed was for Thorin to see him go from their uncomfortable conversation to Bilbo blabbing about it to someone else immediately after. Satisfied that he wasn’t looking, but worried that he might start, Bilbo told Bofur to remain standing and to “act casual” while he sat down and pretended to brush out his foot hair with keen interest. 

“I think we have it all wrong between them, and we should probably stop our plans of creating openings for them to get closer,” he said.

Bofur quirked his head to the side and scratched under his hat. “How do you figure? While you were gone, there seemed to be plenty of chemistry from Y/N’s side. Ye shoulda seen the sparkle in her eyes while she was singing that love song. Oh, to be young!” he chuckled. 

“Listen, I spoke to Thorin about Y/N in the lake, and her feelings are one sided.”

Bofur dropped the adorable image of earlier that evening like glass and he paled. “You—you _ told _him?”

“No!” Bilbo cringed at the shrill tone in his voice and looked around. A few eyes glanced over but Bofur was quick to bark out a convincing laugh and joke at Bilbo’s expense to draw their attention away. Something that said, nothing going on here! Just us friends doing… friend things! When all onlookers returned their focus elsewhere, Bofur leaned down to Bilbo.

“Bilbo, it is not wise to meddle in a dwarrow’s romantic affairs!”

“Oh, believe me, it isn’t wise for either of us to even be discussing this at all, I think! I didn’t tell him anything, just that he had to get his act together and stop tugging her around, but then he told me…” Bilbo stopped with a shiver of embarrassment. “Ugh, I wish Y/N never said anything about it… and if it weren’t for Kili, I would never even have the thought that there was any romance to even pick up on!”

Bofur held a thoughtful hand in the air as he stacked thought after thought in his brain. 

“Hold on. Ye mean to say that Kili knows, too?”

Bilbo closed his eyes and swallowed thickly. This was all becoming such a horrible mess. He’d never intended to rope anybody else into this tangled web they were weaving. 

Bofur let out a quiet groan that about summed up the whole situation. “I’ll forget ye told me that. But Bilbo, what exactly did ye tell Thorin? I thought we agreed to keep this to ourselves!”

Bilbo looked up under furrowed brows. “We are keeping this to ourselves! I haven’t told anybody else!”

“Ye told Thorin, lad. He’s the last person that ought to know.”

That caused Bilbo to frown. “I hardly see why it matters. She’s the one who has feelings for him!”

There was a moment of silence as the cogs turned under Bofur’s silly hat. He’d never really thought of it before, and it’s not like either them mentioned any names… but even so… 

Bofur cleared his throat. “Wait… who do you think we’re talkin’ about here?”

Bilbo, looking as equally as confused, countered with, “Who do _ you _think we’re talking about?”

* * *

“And that’s what happened,” Y/N concluded later that night after she returned from washing.

Thorin took in her words with a nod but he was distracted by the conversation with Bilbo from earlier. That talk certainly did not go as planned, nor was it expected, but now Thorin was hyper aware of not just his own body language, but every move of Y/N’s, trying to piece together some semblance of an idea on how in the world it came across that Thorin fancied her. 

How many other people concurred with the Hobbit’s perspective? Surely nobody else would fathom that he… wait—Dwalin! Dwalin’s comment when Thorin had given his jerky to Fili for Y/N sprung to mind and in turn, made him rub a hand over his face in exasperation. Durin’s mighty beard. 

To quote Dwalin, _ was _he going sweet on her? No, he was only ensuring that Mahal’s blessed one was kept comfortable and safe. That’s all! 

“Thorin?”

He shook himself back into focus. “Yes, I am listening.” 

He wasn’t. Instead, he was recounting any and all instances that could have possibly given anybody the wrong impression on how he felt. Mahal, even back when he scolded Fili about being too friendly with her… Thorin was only reprimanding him, but he could see how now it might come across as staking a claim over unwanted advances from potential competition. 

This was ridiculous. It should not be what he was spending time and effort and thought on, but for the sake that they were all wrong, Thorin didn’t want to bring it up. His own personal feelings, or that of Y/N’s, was not important in the grand scheme of the quest. Thorin was placated with this reasoning. But then again, he hadn’t spent that kind of time thinking on such things, himself. What _ did _he think of her? What was she to him? 

And thus repeated this confusing circle of thought. 

Y/N crossed her arms and made a stance. Exasperation was clear in her voice. “If you fall asleep on me _ again— _”

Thorin held his hand up to silence her and then drew his attention on the conversation at hand, even though it was no less perplexing as the one he was having with himself. “I will not. So, this entity claims that it was your choice to come here, yet you have no recollection of it whatsoever?”

Y/N regarded him a moment, as if calling a bluff on his not being tired. But when she realized he was attentive and alert, she frowned and shook her head. “No, I don’t remember anything about that, but it said that I’d remember in time. I’m thinking that as soon as I remember the day before I arrived here, I’ll have a better understanding of all this.” She gesticulated where her runes were located. 

“I see. And other than that, it has reiterated that you are the Guardian and Savior of the line of Durin, correct?”

“Yeah. And they said I was a daughter of… some Illi-vutar something or other.”

“_Ilúvatar_,” he corrected with a chuckle. “That is the creator of everything here. It is possible that the Valar’s influence extends to your world as it does ours. Perhaps you even know them by another name?”

Y/N shrugged. “Probably just ‘God’. I never really was into religion; I’m not a religious person.”

“Maybe you should. You were brought here by a god, after all.”

Y/N could only agree with a huff of laughter and ran her hand through her hair, effectively messing up the do she put in place after she returned from bathing. 

Thorin eyed it but said nothing. As she distractedly recapped her meeting with the entity again, as if trying to exploit more information that could be helpful, she fussed with the rogue side braid for a while before, “Hey, could you help me pin this back up? For some reason it won’t stay. I don’t think I braided it right.”

Thorin immediately stiffened and recoiled away from her. 

“No. And do not bother asking anyone else for help, that is an honor for couples and family only.” 

He didn’t intend his voice to be so stern about it, but they spoke about this before! Was she trying to display her interest towards him by enticing him with her still damp hair? Thorin didn’t even want to entertain the thought. His eyes sought out the Hobbit and he cursed him for bringing up this mess in the first place. Now watching his steps around her would all he ever thought about. 

“Oh, right, I forgot…”

_ Did you? _ Thorin internally questioned. “Was there anything else you wanted to discuss before we retire for the night?” he asked. A part of him was still reluctant to pry into her for more details. He’d hoped Bilbo would have helped him out with that, but he just might need to consult his nephews moving forward. He wanted to know what it was that she and Fili talked about before he went to bathe. Whatever it was, Y/N was still very uneasy around Thorin. And he had no idea why. Just an inkling from Bilbo.

Well, after tonight’s fiasco, now it could be about anything. He had to tread very carefully, lest he give off the wrong impression to her or to any outside perspective moving forward.

Y/N avoided his eyes quickly after that. “Nope, that’s it. I just wanted to let you know about what happened since it wasn’t a vision of anything. What about you? Anything _ you _wanna share?”

He saw a challenge in her eyes that he was surprised to see directed towards him. It would have been one thing if Bilbo had assumed that Thorin alone held harbored feelings for their Seer, but since he seemed to imply that Y/N might be involved in this, too… he wasn’t sure what to say. He didn’t want to encourage it, or give her hope when there was none, but he also didn’t wish to end their talks until he was able to learn more about the visions and dreams she had of the quest.

Thorin thought of the spying and felt a twinge of guilt. He had a mind to come clean, he opened his mouth to formulate the words, but closed it. No, he had a plan and he needed to stick to it. Sons of Durin do not give up. 

It was for the good of the quest. The good of his people and their future. Now was not the time to ponder the fantasy about far fetched romances between two different races. Even if she was from another realm. Even if she was placed at his feet by the will of his Maker. Even if it seemed as though she was sent to him by Mahal himself. 

Even if...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda got the title inspired by “Circles” from Post Malone. I’m not a huge fan of his work, but some of his songs are pretty boppin’!
> 
> The song Y/N was singing was "What Am I Feeling?" from the Galavant soundtrack. 
> 
> Also: thank you all for the feedback, kudos, bookmarks, and comments left on the story! I love you all and am always very happy to see how you guys are enjoying it. <3


	17. Fight Through The Rain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! First and foremost, I hope you all are staying safe during these increasingly crazy times! I hope I can offer some sense of solace or safe haven with my writing; that is what arts are all about, after all. 
> 
> Bit of a note ahead regarding this fic, but I would appreciate it if you took the time to read it. 
> 
> Since we’re starting to approach the middle/end of the first movie's storyline, I wanted to make sure that my writing is effectively reflecting my intentions for the progression of the story.
> 
> One thing I wanted to make clear is that the main focus of this fanfic primarily revolves around the romance between the reader, Thorin, and Fili only. Any other hints of attraction towards other members is just out of appreciation of their physical beauty/character, teasing, or expressing an endearment to them as a person -- like when Bilbo was admiring Thorin’s physique in the lake in the last chapter. I thought I was capturing the Hobbit’s curious nature to a person so different from him and appreciating the stark difference of their body types, but after a reader pointed it out to me and I reread it, it seems like Bilbo might be forming an attraction towards Thorin, when that wasn’t my intention. I’ve already hinted at a possible Bilbo/Bofur ship throughout the course of the story, so I didn't want any confusion on there being a potential Thorin/Bilbo ship given the theme of story as a whole is surrounding Thorin, Fili, and the reader. 
> 
> That said, I have NO plans for anyone else going after any of the 3 main characters and will not be changing that at any time. (If there is going to be shipping going on, it will most likely be between Bilbo and Bofur, but this has not been decided indefinitely since I’m more focused on our trio. But just the same, I updated the tags in the story to reflect this possibility.)
> 
> I love reading everyone’s speculations, it’s a thrill for me to see you all engaging and sharing your thoughts! We still have a ways to go and the story is still in the process of being written -- you know me, I write gargantuan chapters. ;X More importantly, the characters’ perspectives and feelings are still growing and evolving over the course of the quest. The mysteries will be revealed in time, I'll do my best to make sure everything is explained and wrapped up as best as I can do it, and there is a lot that will happen before the last chapter is posted and Part 1 of Promise comes to an end (I have no idea when this will be as we’re still not even halfway through the first film and Part 1 contains all 3 movies of The Hobbit, lol) and I'm looking forward to sharing all the juicy pieces with you; the angst, fluff, NSFW and all! I appreciate any and all feedback and thank you all for leaving comments, kudos, bookmarks, and such! I’ll do my best to improve my writing skills as I go along! :D 
> 
> Horray, gh0st is done with this long ass note! Thank you for reading and enjoy this chapter!

_ "You are mistaken, Bilbo." Thorin said slowly. It was obvious that he wanted to make sure he was one hundred percent understood. "I do not think of Y/N in that manner." _

_ Poor girl, _ Bilbo thought sadly, recounting his awkward conversation last night with Thorin for what felt like the millionth time. And to make matters even more maddening, he and Bofur were on completely different pages all along. Bilbo thought Y/N and Thorin fancied each other. Bofur thought Fili fancied Y/N. But as it turned out, Thorin did not fancy Y/N, and there was no telling whether or not Fili or Y/N fancied each other or anybody else.

After jumping to all the wrong conclusions all in one night, Bilbo Baggins had resigned any future attempts in meddling into Y/N's affairs. It was obvious that their tampering would have yielded catastrophic results. Which was just as well... romance was a far off, foreign concept for Bilbo. He'd no personal experience on the matter, and had no interest in taking any partners, so what got into his head to think he could help her?

Well, most of this need heralded from his desire to feel like he was contributing somehow. It wasn’t a secret that Bilbo was no more fit to travel with the Dwarves than Y/N was, but even she had a slight advantage against him because she knew—sort of—how to use a weapon and was a source of divine council for Thorin. 

Bilbo was just a burglar. And an inexperienced one at that! His moment of truth would only arrive when they got to the mountain where the dragon resided but he abhorred feeling so useless to them in the meantime. So often he felt out of place; it didn’t help that Thorin would give him constant reminders of his shortcomings at every chance he found. The only ones who had actually kept him from turning around and going back home were Bofur and Y/N. And they were now the two people he felt he needed to distance himself from. 

As the sky grew overcast, Bilbo heard Dwalin announce from beside him, “A storm is passing through! Cover up!”

Bilbo readied his cloak in dampened spirits. It was as if the weather were mirroring his disposition of late; foreboding, gloomy, unwanted. As more and more time passed, he longed to turn around and venture back to Rivendell. He felt very happy there and, more importantly, welcome. Thorin hadn’t treated him any differently this morning in the aftermath of last night, and Bilbo wasn’t sure if that was good or bad, but sided with the former. If anything, he hoped that would be the last time the two of them bathed together. He much preferred doing that alone, thank you very much, but the Dwarves insisted it was one of the best bonding experiences for males to have while on the road. Well, that, and that it was safer to bathe as a group. With Y/N being the only exception. 

Bilbo was not naive in that males of all races had their own bonding activity to strengthen their friendships, but adult Hobbit males bonded over food as opposed to bathing, so the whole ordeal was difficult for him to adjust to. 

Bilbo did not like partaking in Dwarf baths. They were shameless in their nudity and much too handsy for Bilbo’s tastes, assisting each other with washing, or rough housing like brothers in a bathtub. He was thankful Thorin was more reserved and respectful, but in the past Bilbo had to practically race out of there red faced in shock when his group wanted to play chicken, or some other ridiculous water game that resulted in them being in close quarters together. The uncomfortable bath from last night crept into his mind again and Bilbo cringed. As if he needed more reasons to detest shared baths. How embarrassing.

Goodness, it was an honest mistake to make! And since Thorin knew he and Y/N were close, it was reasonable enough for Bilbo to think that Thorin would assume Bilbo would know how Y/N thought about him. That Bilbo would give him the inside scoop he needed to make a move on her. Besides, he didn’t intend for Thorin to hear him when he mumbled his frustrations out loud. _ But_, Bilbo wondered. _ If Thorin didn’t wish to ask about Y/N from a romantic standpoint, what information was he hoping to gain from me? _

Bilbo shrugged the thought off before it could take further root in his head. He was going to stick to distancing himself from others from now on. He didn’t wish to become roped up into anyone’s personal business lest he make another fool of himself. Despite them being on the wrong page, Bofur seemed very certain that there was something going on between Fili and Y/N and had told Bilbo that he was welcome to be his accomplice again, if ever he had a mind to help. Bilbo politely refused his offer, but promised that nobody would know what they discussed, and then disbanded with no intention of resuming their meetings. 

But if Bilbo were to be honest with himself, he would miss the extra time he had to hang around Bofur. He was the only one among them who was easiest to speak to. The only one who seemed to care enough to include him in whatever it was they were all doing. The only one who made him feel like he was cared about. 

Bilbo sighed. He should never have left home. 

* * * * *

Y/N was feeling more and more irritable as they approached the Misty Mountains, though it was an odd emotion to feel given the events she foresaw in the very near future. But these feelings mainly derived from a place of fear. She wanted to keep her eyes on the road behind them, hoping to catch a glimpse of Gandalf coming their way. 

There was no telling which way he’d come, or if everything was going to happen just as she dreamed anyway, but she wondered if trusting Thorin would be wise at this point. Had Fili not told her of his uncle’s spying, she’d be less worried about all this. But now that she knew, there was no telling what Thorin was capable of. It angered her still that he would think to have his own kin spy on her, despite how far she thought they came to at least meeting each other halfway.

She trudged behind Fili and Kili the entire day, but even their lighthearted banter did not offer her any comfort as it usually did. 

As the sky rumbled like a hungry beast above them, her heart rate started climbing. While they scaled the mountain, the ledge was becoming narrower and narrower until they would inevitably be walking with their backs up against the rocky wall; they were soon to be approaching the stone giants’ domain. There didn’t appear to be any other paths that she could see that would lead them somewhere safer. And even if there was, she decided against bringing that up to Balin and Thorin. As well as the stone giants that were dwelling where they walked. 

One of those reasons was because her trust in Thorin had plummeted steeply, but the more prominent reason was that she knew that even though the Company risked themselves getting separated and smashed to death by these rock titans, that they would all survive and come out okay. It didn’t make the impending doom of it all any easier on her, however. 

There was no way for Y/N to know how she would fare when it happened. Or if her being here would somehow affect the others in a negative way. As her mind occupied itself with various what-ifs and worries, she wasn’t aware that she was being spoken to until she shook herself free from her inner turmoil.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” she asked, still distracted and unnerved. 

Kili only smiled patiently. “It’s getting steeper up ahead,” he repeated. “Watch your footing and keep your hood up and out of the rain.”

“Yeah, that’ll be the least of our worries…” she mumbled under her breath as she complied. 

Fili took notice of her change in behavior and tried giving her an encouraging smile. “Don’t worry, storms don’t tend to last long in the mountains. Just stick close to me, might get a bit slippery.”

She looked up at the sky thoughtfully as she tightened the clasp around her neck.

“Is that what the sky looked like when I came here? Just with more color?” she asked him. 

Fili moved carefully behind his brother, casting a quick look up at the sky. “Not quite. It was like ocean waves in cloud form billowing in this sort of ecstatic beauty of rainbow colors, lit from within.”

“Huh. Sounds like I made quite an entrance!” she smirked, mirroring Fili’s careful steps as her guide to safely navigate the terrain. It was a pleasant distraction for the time being.

“Aye. The sight was truly unlike anything I’ve ever seen.”

“Indeed!” Bofur concurred from behind her. “Doubt we’ll see anythin’ else as legendary as that!”

As thunder rumbled closer and the first wave of rain began making its way on them, Y/N took deep, controlled breaths. All of the Company’s focus was navigating carefully single file up and around the mountain. Y/N placed her concentration on putting one foot in front of the other until they were all forced on their backs shimmying along the ledge with the deathly drop off much too close for anyone’s comfort. It was getting quite slippery, but so far Y/N’s boots still had a good grip despite the wetness. 

Shortly afterward, the wind started picking up, tossing her clothing and hood around her. Y/N feared her dwindling weight would cause her to topple over with one strong gust, so she latched onto Fili’s shoulder with shaking fingers to steady herself. 

With how vicious the wind was behaving, it was getting difficult to see where she was going. The rain felt like a swarm of bees hitting her in the eyes and face and it was freezing at this altitude. As her balance wavered with her footing, she didn’t want to throw Fili off his own by holding onto him, but when Y/N let go, he said, “You hang on to me! Do not let go.” And she returned her grip on him.

“I can’t see where I’m going!” she shouted over the noise of the storm. 

“I gotcha, lass!” Bofur yelled from behind her. She felt his hand press into her lower back to let her know he was close. “We got ya, just move slowly one step at a time!”

“Don’t let go!” Fili told her again, creeping forward once more. From above his head Y/N spotted the blurry form of Kili bracing himself against the harsh, wet winds. His silhouette and others ahead of him lit up only when lightning struck through the sky. Each Dwarf relied on the one in front of him to guide them safely higher and higher. And Thorin was at the front.

Soon, the thunder began to grow to a deafening volume and Y/N felt all the blood leave her body, knowing exactly where they were in the journey now. Gandalf would not be coming for them until much later. And much lower in the ground…

No amount of dreams or visions could have prepared her for being here. The only thing that gave her any sort of comfort, was her hold on Fili.

Unbeknownst to her, Fili returned the sentiment. Y/N grounded him and his fears in more ways than one. He had his brother ahead of him and his One behind him, both as close as they could be.

And as long as she could, Y/N would not let go. 

* * * * *

This was bad. 

Thorin didn’t know what else to do but to keep everyone moving forward; they certainly couldn’t very well turn around at this point, anyway. His sore eyes strained to see any notable landmarks ahead of him but the rain and darkness had made that nigh impossible. 

Being nearsighted was not coming in handy at present, either. 

The wind was picking up strength, as if it meant to toss them off. Thorin immediately thought of the girl. Where was she? He looked behind him and could make out the blurry shape of what he assumed was Y/N, based on the color of the cloak when it caught in a flash of lightning. She was a ways behind him. Too far.

Thorin chastised himself for not thinking to keep Y/N up front with him. But after last night’s conversation with Bilbo, then with her, it was hard for him to be close to Y/N without a blush forming across his cheeks. Parts of what Bilbo told him had him thinking that she might have a fancy towards him. And honestly, Thorin hadn’t the foggiest on how to approach the subject. It made things between them rather awkward.

_ She’s terribly confused about you and I can’t say I blame her. _

_ If you intend to woo her, then get on with it properly before you push the poor girl away and lose her interest! _

_ Y/N is confused? About what? _ Thorin wondered. _ Losing her interest… was he implying that I already have it? _

That blasted Hobbit… why did he have to fill his head with such nonsense? 

No, he couldn’t focus on such things now. The storm wasn’t letting up, it was getting worse. And as it raged on, Thorin took note of the dangerous trail he was leading them on. There was a sheer drop on the other side of the cliff that Thorin could not ignore. Especially hearing his men behind him struggling to remain on the already unsteady trail. There was no way he was risking any of their safety just for the sake of moving forward but he couldn’t yet find an alternative route.

“Hold on!” he advised them after a particularly powerful gust of wind. 

His eyes strained for any safe opening they could all fit into, or some overhang they could take refuge under to wait out the thunder storm. While he prayed to Mahal for safe passing, a startled yelp came from behind him with the crumbling sound of the wall following after. 

Thorin’s head snapped around, searching for Y/N with panicked eyes, and saw her safe behind Fili. He then saw Dwalin hoist Bilbo back from the crumbled ledge. It was him who stumbled. Out of everyone here, it was Y/N and Bilbo who he couldn’t guarantee safety, but by the gods, he would do everything in his power to ensure it. Bilbo was next to Dwalin, so he was in good hands. And though Thorin would much rather have the girl at his side, he knew she was in good hands as well.

“Y/N, stay close to Fili! Do not leave his side until it is safe!” Then addressing them all as a whole, “We must find shelter!”

“Look out!” Dwalin shouted abruptly.

The terrifying event that followed after would forever be burned into Thorin’s mind. Stone giants were rearing up from all sides and tossing huge chunks of the mountain at each other, slamming much too close to where they all stood. The Company was caught in the middle of it. Helpless. 

Thorin’s mind raced. This was all happening much too quickly for him to process. Doing his best to remain calm, he tried to think of anything they could possibly do to beware.

But the only thing they _ could _do was—

“Hold on!” Dwalin screamed. 

* * * * *

Y/N was one wrong jostle away from shitting her pants. She had never known terror such as this. Stark fear did such interesting things to the body. Activating those fight or flight reactions while shutting off all capability of thought as the body shifted into survival mode.

She knew what was coming, but anticipating that constant anxiety of this event for the whole day did very little to prepare her for when it finally arrived. 

All around her were these colossal beings throwing chunks of mountain to and fro like kids playing kickball. Only if you were struck by the “ball” this time around, you weren’t just out. You were dead. And they weren’t even playing. 

Y/N’s mind scrambled to process what she was seeing while everyone else’s bodies were registering the huge threat surrounding them and trying to lay as flat as they could against the rocky wall as bits of the floor crumbled beneath their feet. She didn’t even notice that Fili had broken from her grip until the ground below her started to rumble and move.

“Kili, grab my hand! Kili!” Fili called fruitlessly in the separation forming between them. 

She was forced to watch as Kili, Oin, Gloin and Thorin began to drift away from them as the knees of the stone giant they were walking across stirred and joined the battle.

Kili could only look on in terror, locking eyes with his brother for what he feared would be the last time, then shifting over to Y/N’s equally terrified face. 

As the Company was divided, Y/N, in her mind numbing terror, was in a state of autopilot. Her body moved on its own accord without much active thought behind it. She and her friends were completely at the mercy of the titans and she wasn’t aware of anything around her. As painful as they were, Y/N would have preferred a vision over this. 

* * *

Nobody knew how long they were stuck as unwilling participants in that battle, but it came as a great relief to everyone as soon as it was over. Learning that nobody was harmed or squashed to death by the stone giants was an added bonus and they were all finally on the actual mountain, not atop any of those gigantic creatures who continued on their battle without them. Bofur counted heads, trying to spot one in particular. 

And there seemed to be someone missing. 

“Where’s Bilbo?! Where's the Hobbit?” Bofur asked worriedly, trying to spot him among his comrades. But his sudden relief at hearing the Hobbit’s voice was short-lived and quickly plummeted again when he realized danger was not yet past them. 

“Over here! Help me!” Came Bilbo’s frightened voice. He was trying desperately to hold onto Y/N’s arm, but his grip was not a very good one and he was afraid to readjust it, lest she fall to the death she was likely trying to spare him from when she pushed him out of the way when a crumbling piece of ground opened below him after the collision.

Bilbo’s own body was slipping further down along with Y/N’s weight but he did all he could to keep his hold solid despite it. 

The Company immediately sprung into action. Bofur dove beside Bilbo and reached his hand down, urging Y/N to grab on and the rest followed suit doing whatever they could to offer their aid by shouts of encouragement, and holding onto Bilbo to serve as a better anchor. As well-intended as their efforts to save her were, none of them were able to extend their limbs down enough to be able to hoist her back up to safety. 

Y/N’s rain slicked face mixed with her tears of fright as she stared into Bilbo’s widened brown eyes. She hung on for dear life with all that she had but the wetness of the rock did her no favors as she incrementally began to slip further and further out of the Hobbit’s hand. 

It wasn’t until Thorin dropped down and grabbed a hold of her clothing and tossed her onto the ledge into Bofur, Bilbo, and Ori did she finally wake up from her petrified daze to recount that she was no longer dangling over death’s door and the worst was over. But as she dreamed in the past, Thorin’s safety was threatened soon after his rescue mission until Dwalin yanked his cousin back up. 

_Now_ everyone was safe.

Fili, who could only watch helplessly from the side lines the entire time, forgot himself and launched the still-stunned Y/N into a tight embrace. He had done it mainly for himself, needing to feel her alive and well against his body. “Gods, I thought I lost you!” She thought she heard him say before he reluctantly peeled himself off before assisting a struggling Bombur to his feet.

Dwalin slumped against the ground in emotional fatigue. He had enough close calls for one day. Relief flooded through him after taking in a huge gulp of air now that they all were finally out of danger. “I thought we lost our Seer and burglar.”

“That blasted girl never listens…” Thorin growled. “You were to stay by Fili's side until it was safe! Why do you never do as you are told!?”

Still numb from the shock of it all but slowly registering the venom in his voice, Y/N wasn’t in the frame of mind to form words. Did Thorin just…? Surely she had misheard him, right? But Bofur, indignant at Thorin’s response, rushed to her defense while remaining by Bilbo's side. “Oi! She stumbled, Thorin! It could have happened to anyone!”

As if he didn’t hear him, Thorin barely even gave him his audience as he now focused on Bilbo and said the words Y/N had dreamed of numerous times already. “And you. You were lost ever since you left home. You have no place amongst us, neither of you should ever have come.”

At that, Thorin stormed ahead, finding an opening in the cave and called for Dwalin to follow him inside. Dwalin, who didn’t quite like how that was handled, went after Thorin anyway.

While Bilbo’s self worth deflated ever further, Bofur and Ori helped Y/N to her feet before assisting the others to regroup out of the rain. It was quiet in the tunnel. Only the sounds of their feet and Thorin and Dwalin’s voices up ahead filled the air. Red painted Y/N’s vision at every step as her mind cleared from its panic mode. Of all the things to say to them after they both could have very much died and her being so “important” and “precious” to them, _ that _is what Thorin had to say after she faced a very traumatic experience?

Hell. No. 

Fili though his first inclination was to remain by leave her side, he had to be near his brother. He had to replenish his shaken nerves from the possibility of almost losing him. They embraced tightly, murmuring words of relief and walked side by side, still remaining close by while they ventured further in the cave. The only path that Y/N could see was making his way further inside where they would all be resting. Already barking orders instead of checking on his men's welfare like she always thought he should've done at this point in the journey. She made a straight beeline towards him. Bilbo momentarily stopped her before she reached her target, some of her rage simmered when Y/N saw him looking up at her with sad eyes. “Thank you,” Bilbo whispered earnestly. “Thank you for saving my life.”

Before Y/N could answer, she thought she heard a baritone voice utter “disobedient” and "burdensome", or something along those lines, and one glance at Bilbo’s distraught face had refueled Y/N’s anger. Enough was enough. 

Filled with confusion, remnants of fear, anxiety, and an innumerable other emotions that only served as a meltdown cocktail had flared and exploded through Y/N’s body. 

She pushed passed everyone in her way and strode up to Thorin, deliberately stomping her wet boots to notify him that she was coming his way. At least he had the decency to turn around. 

The slap echoed off of the cave walls like a clap of thunder that rivaled the storm from outside until all that was left was deafening silence and shock so strong it was thick on everyone’s tongues. All eyes were on them, bouncing between the pair as the Company froze in place.

“How dare you,” she growled through her teeth. “How can you say such cruel things after I risked my own _ life _to save Bilbo from falling which, by the way, was not his fault!”

Thorin’s hand mechanically reached up to touch the place she slapped him, too stunned to reply. 

“You know what, Thorin? I am sick and tired of your constant hot and cold attitude of telling me one thing and then acting another way. Quite frankly, and I don’t think I’m alone here—” She nodded towards Bilbo who amptly shuffled behind Gloin safely out of Thorin’s line of sight in case he happened to look over “—I’ve had enough of it! Did any of our talks mean anything to you? Do you have any semblance of an idea what it’s been like for me? How terrifying it is being in a strange, dangerous land with memory loss and skull splitting visions and being stalked by an entity that nobody else can see? I’m still adjusting to getting ripped out of my world and dropped into this one, and I’m still in shock from almost being squashed to death by rock titans, so I’m sorry if I’m lacking some stupid, impossible standards you expect me to fulfill!” Her voice rose higher and higher as her anger escalated and she took a breath to tone it down, knowing that they needed to remain undercover from danger and in order for that to happen, she had to try and keep her voice level. 

The rest of them knew better than to interrupt her outburst and remained quiet. Wise Dwarves, indeed. 

“You said that you trusted me! But now all of a sudden I don’t belong here and have no place among you just because the ground broke from under me? That's some straight up bullshit. At least _ you _ have a home you’re returning to and a family by your side! I don’t have _ anything _ here! _ I have no one_! For fuck sake, I don’t even know if I’ll ever see my home again, and if I died...”

Thorin’s eyes turned downcast. The sting he felt on his cheek seemed to amplify as his face flushed; as if she slapped him a second time. At this point, Y/N could feel all of the eyes of the Dwarves on her and she suddenly felt very childish and embarrassed by her outburst now that she got all the words out. But it had to be said. She wanted to call him out on the spying, but she kept that to herself for now. 

The reality of her words struck a chord deep within now that she had said them out loud. Y/N had heard the whispers circling around, not intended for her ears, on whether or not she’d return to her world. Or when. It was anyone’s guess as to whether or not she would remain in Middle Earth. Moreover, she didn’t want to assume that she would just live with them in Erebor and it wasn’t like she was explicitly invited, either. She often wondered where she was supposed to go after the quest was over, but never did find a resolution. And if she died, nobody at home would ever know. 

“I thought…” She paused and took a deep sigh to calm her down some more. “We may not always see eye to eye on things but I thought that you of all people would have understood what that felt like and cut me just a little bit of slack, Thorin. My mistake.” And with that, she excused herself, turning away from the Company just as she felt the tears welling up. Y/N refused to cry in front of them and hurried away for some privacy to swallow them back, going as far from everyone as she could while remaining inside the cave. If ever there was a time Y/N longed for home, now was it. And she couldn’t have felt more alone than she did then.

* * * * *

_ She… she hit me, _ Thorin thought once his brain was capable of forming words again. Still standing just where he was when it all happened.

He had crossed a line with his temper, thrown her (and Bilbo) insult, and then stood in silence as her heart broke in front of him, expressing all the resentment she held inside. Fili forcefully bumped into his shoulder as he walked past, throwing a glare behind him as he did so while he made way after her. The rest of the Company said nothing, but they expressed their distaste in Thorin’s behavior by avoiding his eye and began to settle in without their fire, not once jumping in to chastise for her insolence. Slapping the king? That was a grave offence! Yet somehow, he felt she was exempt from it. But he knew he deserved it. Which did nothing short but further fuse his fizzling temper.

Bilbo was next to follow Fili but not before stopping to confront Thorin himself. “If it wasn’t for Y/N, I could have fallen to my death. I lost my footing first, so say what you will about me, but she didn’t deserve that after she risked her life for mine.” His voice wasn’t as sharp as hers was; he didn’t have nearly as much gull in standing up to Thorin, but the intent was definitely clear in the Hobbit’s voice before he turned to join her and Fili in the cave tunnel. 

Thorin tried to block out the disgruntled murmurs of his peers, regretting every word he said and wishing he could take it all back. The cave only seemed to amplify every little sound and echoed throughout his own ears as if they were mocking him. 

“Please leave me alone, I need to think.” Y/N’s empty voice whispered when she felt Fili lean beside her to offer comfort. He hesitated, concern and worry lining his face. He looked to Bilbo for help who could only manage a sigh. The Hobbit knew better than anyone than to press the matter further. He knew all too well the struggles of having your shortcomings thrown in your face, especially when it was constantly being used against you as a reason for how little you were thought of. 

“Come on, we better leave her be,” Bilbo motioned a reluctant Fili to follow him back to the group. In the time it took for Thorin to reflect on what just happened, his face curled into a scowl. His foul mood turned even fouler as he walked off to brood in the spot he claimed for rest. There was much he had to think about as well. 

He was angry. At her for yelling at him in front of his men, but more so at himself for hurting her like that after she had came close to perishing. He couldn’t believe she actually slapped him but he was oddly impressed that she had the candor to do it. He admired those who held fast to their convictions, and her sense of right and wrong never faltered. He could respect her for that. 

But the truth was, even though it didn’t seem that way, Thorin got scared. When he watched, helpless, as Y/N dangled over the ledge... In that moment, Thorin felt all the air leave his body and his blood run cold as ice. It was the same dread he felt clutching at him when Azog held up the decapitated head of his grandfather. 

If he didn’t get to her in time, her death would have been certain. Thorin didn’t know what he would have done if she... 

Well, all he knew was that he couldn’t afford to lose her. His heart would be shattered. He would be devastated, he would have mourned. He would not be able to give her body the burial it deserved after it being lost in the void. Worse… the thought of her death and how close it could have been had ripped his heart in two. 

And in the heat of the moment, Thorin lashed out his emotions when they only came from a place of fear and protection; paying no mind nor care to the hurt his words had inflicted. He was ashamed of himself. 

The Company went about preparing their places for the night, Bofur joined Y/N up front to take the first watch as he ordered him to. And Thorin looked over at the small, huddled form several feet away and felt that overprotective urge rising once more._ Comfort her, _ the urge said. _ Apologize, ease her. _

Instead, he did his best to ignore them just as the same thoughts that caused him to snap at her resurfaced: _ What if she fell_? _ What if I’m not quick enough to save her next time? She should have been more careful, what was she thinking? Why did she not stay by Fili’s side like I said? How dare she lay her hands on me in front of my men! _ He swallowed those thoughts and focused on the wall of the cave instead, trying to distract himself with other calming thoughts. Balin settled himself down beside Thorin with a throaty sigh. He knew what was coming next, and he didn’t want to hear it so soon after the altercation.

“Well,” Balin started softly. “That was quite the scene.” Thorin remained silent and Balin continued, his reprimanding voice making Thorin feel like he was getting reprimanded by his Adad, which was all the more insulting. “I believe you owe the lass an apology.”

_ “My choice of words were unfortunate, however her audacity in behavior is not more or less justified,” _ Thorin growled in Khuzdul so Y/N couldn’t eavesdrop. He still had his pride, after all. 

_ “Unfortunate,” _ Balin echoed, taking the hint. _ “That isn’t quite the word for it.” _

Thorin said nothing.

_ “It seems that we sometimes forget that Y/N is just a human finding her feet here. She’s in a new land and from what she tells us, her land differs very greatly from our own. She’s doing the best she can and she’s done more than her fair share for the Company. She may not be a battle hardened warrior, but she provides us with strength in her own way. Mental health is just as important as physical health. Take it easy on her.” _

_ “I am hard on her because she needs to learn that I may not always be around to protect her—that we won’t.” _

Balin overlooked Thorin’s correction and waited for him to continue since he seemed to have more to add. Thorin risked a glance at Y/N, relieved he didn’t catch her eye. 

_ “The woman has been with us long enough! If she has not learned by now that every day is life or death, then she will never make it to Erebor alive! There is no excuse for such a lack of carelessness. Especially for a Seer of her stature.” _

Balin’s laugh came out as dry as sandpaper.

_“She knew the risks before she even signed the contract but she’s still a lass and doesn’t have the same experience as we do—Man from this world knows more than she does! That’s why we’re helping each other. And she’s still in training, it will take time for her to adapt to how life is here. I’m afraid you went too far, my king. And now we cannot even wait for Gandalf. Are you sure this is a wise change of plans?” _he asked, wanting to make sure Thorin truly weighed the options based on what they all agreed on well before this unfortunate turn of events. 

Thorin knew he was the one in the wrong, but as his ego’s temper flared, it had to run its course. Much like a floodgate, the words could only keep flowing until it was done. He could not approach anybody, nor have a rational conversation, with his head as hot as a furnace. He and the girl would have words after they both have cooled off. 

_ “I am sure this whole mess could have been avoided. Do you not find it concerning that she did not bother to warn us of the stone giants? And her secrecy as a whole… there are things she sees that she refuses to tell me! Do you not find that cause for suspicion?” _

Balin balked at him. _ “Her visions only show her so much, the lass told us this herself and I trust her completely. What she says comes to pass and she has not led us astray! We have no right to distrust her. I know that she’s been keeping details to herself, but maybe there are certain things that aren’t for us to know.” _

_ “Such weakness will only prove to kill her! Or one of us! She almost fell to her death saving our burglar, for Mahal’s sake! Perhaps she should not have come at all.” _

The others studiously ignored the conversation being exchanged between them. Though they all had their own set of opinions on the matter, with few fellows who understood where Thorin was coming from, there were fewer people still who could speak to Thorin that way. Balin, Dwalin, Fili and Kili were the only exceptions. 

_ “She carries the mark of Mahal on her arms! If she was not meant to be with us, then she wouldn’t be! It’s time to put away your pride and open your eyes. There are some matters in this world that are simply beyond our understanding, Thorin. And maybe it will take someone from outside of our world to help us understand. But you have to let them. Let her in.” _

_ “I grow weary of this. Leave me.” _

Balin abruptly stood, only more than happy to oblige. He was fed up with Thorin’s stubborn attitude and it showed. The old Dwarf began making his way over to his own spot in the cave, carefully stepping over limbs and packs, _“Apologize, don’t apologize. That’s your call. But you better make it right between you both—whatever it is you’re going through, you better talk it out or deal with it. But don’t you go driving her out of here, or Mahal forgive ya!”_

Thorin huffed and set his jaw. He had nothing further to say to that. He didn’t mean to, but his eyes swept across the Company. Nobody paid him any mind except for one person. Ah, yes… His oldest nephew had a soft spot for Y/N, didn’t he? Always close by, ever since the start. Just as he promised he’d be. Although he had already spoken to Fili about his concerns on his nephew's intentions, he sensed something was going on between them. Whether or not it was done out of respect for Thorin’s wishes for him to get close to her by any means necessary for spying, he didn’t know. But thinking back on that, it only served to make Thorin even more irked. He didn’t understand why. 

What he did understand, however, was that Balin was right. 

He and Y/N needed to make amends. And in order to do that, he had to come clean about the spying and demand—no… not demand, ask—why she is withholding information. But first, he had wounded pride to nurse. 

* * * * *

“Man, they must be saying really awful things about me, huh?” Y/N mused from over her arms. The only things she could catch from the conversation between Thorin and Balin was “Mahal” and “Erebor”. Everything else was foreign and purposefully exclusive from her ears. Bofur sat beside her crossed legged, and gave her a friendly bump with his shoulder. He and all the Company, minus Bilbo, on the other hand knew perfectly well everything that was being said. But Bofur didn’t want to trouble her with the truth, especially after the scare they all shared and Thorin’s hostility afterward.

Bofur _ psh’d _and waved his hand.

“Not at all! They’re arguing over what your best feature is—they can’t seem to reach an agreement ‘cause there’s just so many.”

It didn’t take Nori’s snort to inform Y/N that that was a flat out lie. She could tell based on the way Balin and Thorin were speaking to each other that Thorin did not feel like he was in the wrong whatsoever and that she very well was a burden he was simply stuck with and wished he could be rid of under different circumstances. Y/N refused to even look at him, the stubborn brute. 

Considering all she did for them up to this point and all of her attempts to warn them from oncoming danger which ended successfully each time, she felt like he had been the one to slap her in the face. More than once. Thorin didn’t seem to appreciate anything she did. And every time she thought she was getting through to the guy in opening his heart to her, he’d get some ridiculous logic in his mind and turn into such a belligerent ass. 

Or employ his family members to fucking spy on her.

It didn’t help that Y/N still had no idea if she was even completing these “tasks” of hers correctly. Thus far, this stalking entity that no one could see but her only served to haunt her with painful trauma to the head and unhelpful instructions. Never following up to give her a thumbs up or thumbs down, never popping in to say if she was on the right track or not. 

Nope. 

She’d receive a vision of the next disaster and do what she thought she was supposed to do about it; interpreting this being’s words the way she thought she was supposed to. She had tampered with what she thought was an innocent pass by pushing Bilbo to safety so he wouldn’t fall, but it only led her to slip in his stead. 

That was something she just did on impulse, not just because she knew it would happen and it’s not like she could tell the Company, or Thorin, every single detail about her dreams! What was worse is that she couldn’t even make them understand _ why _she couldn’t. It all had to be based on trust—if the course was altered from the timeline she had dreamed about, she’d have no way of knowing who was safe or who wasn’t anymore. Y/N knew her vagueness only drew suspicions, but they did seem to believe in her and they followed without question. Sometimes. 

But still. 

When it all came down to it, everything was (for the most part) going exactly the same as in her dreams. What was really strange, though, was that up until this point, she hadn’t received any follow up visits of the entity. Or had any other dreams or visions… 

Had they stopped? Did she fail some sort of test she didn’t realize she was taking by proactively saving Bilbo so that he wouldn’t fall in the first place? Has she been stripped of her guardian-savior duties? She didn’t know whether to feel relieved or scared… Y/N wished Gandalf was with them. Maybe he would have known. 

But there was no use dawdling on the what-ifs of the matter. 

Where would that leave her if she fulfilled her purpose? If she no longer had visions, the Company wouldn’t need her anymore. If she were to be honest with herself, Y/N had considered on more than one occasion that perhaps the Company was better off without her anyway. She could always warn them of the more important events that were going to take place from now until then and just retreat back to Rivendell or something. Wait out the opportunity to go back home, if it was even possible anymore. It’d be a win-win for everyone. 

But she knew that wasn't her purpose of being here and she was in a very self-deprecating mood. But when the time came that she did have to part, she knew she would miss them… she’d miss Fili and his beautiful golden hair, and comforting presence that made her feel warm inside. She’d miss the wild, rambunctious energy that always encompassed the Dwarves, bringing life everywhere they went. She’d miss Bofur’s stories, the silly inherently funny facial expressions Bilbo made. And Kili begging her to share another Galavant tale. She’d even miss Thorin. After she was done being mad at him, of course. When it was time to depart, would she be able to put the memory of them behind her? Would they?

“Yeah, I bet,” Y/N sighed and picked up a pebble, tossing it in front of her. “I don’t know, sometimes I wonder if my being here is a mistake, if you all would be better without me,” she dropped her voice just low enough for only Bofur to hear. She implied that someone else would be better suited for the job, but immediately regretted confiding in him because he took it the wrong way. His eyes widened and he seemed intent on leaping to his feet in blatant concern, which garnered the attention from some of the others. She knocked back on her elbows and looked across at him wide-eyed. 

“But you’re one of us, you can’t leave! We need you!”

Her eyes then narrowed at him as a bunch of heads suddenly whipped in their direction, Thorin’s included. “Thanks, Bofur. Maybe say that a little louder for the folks in back.”

Without a moment’s hesitation, the comments started. 

“You’re leaving?!”

“Now hold on, lassie!”

“You can’t!”

“All because of what that clodhead said?”

“Lass—”

One baritone voice ruled above all the others, cutting their protests short. “After all we have done, you would be willing to abandon us so quickly?”

Y/N leaned past Bofur to look at Thorin, fixing him with a glare. “No, but you haven’t exactly rolled out the welcome mat, Thorin. Seeing as I’m just a huge, disobedient burden and all.” Letting him know she heard his muttering earlier.

His eyes remained sharp and lowered in a glare. “If you wish to leave, then be my guest,” he swept his arm for emphasis to grant her leave. “Take heed of the stone giants on your way out and mind your footing.” That last jab was meant to strike a nerve, and boy did he hit the bullseye.

Y/M was fuming with rekindled hurt and rage. Why, that pompous, pigheaded, arrogant—

“He didn’t mean nothin’ by it!” Bofur nervously jumped in front of her line of sight and waved his hands frantically in her face. “Don’t you listen to him!”

She rose slowly, towering over her floppy-hatted friend, maintaining eye contact with the stubborn bull whose gaze didn’t waver from her own. She waited for an apology that was not going to be offered. He waited for her to put her gold where her mouth was, knowing she wouldn’t. 

Balin looked very eager to throw in a word or two, but it was Dwalin who spoke next, “Stop it, both of ya! Yer acting like children. We can talk this out.”

“I have nothing further to say at this moment. Get some rest—_all _of you.” Thorin answered, laying back and closing his eyes, a clear message that the conversation was now over. 

“You stubborn oaf!” Dwalin bit out under his breath. The Company offered Y/N words of comfort and invites to lay next to them but they bounced right off of her and dwindled into nothing. Irate and deflated, Y/N’s shoulders slumped in defeat. 

Bofur’s moustache seemed to droop in empathy of her mood. “Y/N, lass…”

“I need to be alone for a while,” she told Bofur. “I’ll be at the mouth of the cave.” 

She could tell that Bofur wanted to try and make her stay, but he understood that she needed time to herself. “Don’t wander too far,” he said, watching her go. 

Mist from the rain sprayed her face, and she hugged her knees to her chest to maintain body heat. Finally registering just how cold she was from being consistently rained on. She didn’t hear the scurry of feet approaching her from behind. Nor the body sitting down beside her. 

“I believe you need this more than I do,” Bilbo offered his handkerchief. She hadn’t realized that she was crying freely and was now embarrassed on top of everything else. So much for being alone. Quickly she wiped at her face before accepting the cloth. 

“Thank you,” Y/N wiped her eyes and hoped she didn’t look like trash. 

Bilbo hummed and nodded, patted at his thighs. They shared a companionable silence and he placed his hand on her shoulder and squeezed. “I should be offering you thanks, for standing up for me. I’d hate for you to catch a cold, though. Let’s head further in, hm?”

She sighed and scooted further in the cave to avoid getting wetter and wetter from the rain outside and Bilbo followed suit. Getting sick was not something she wanted on her To-Do list.

He continued, “This may just be a generalization, but from the same Dwarves I’ve been ‘graced’ with meeting, they’re usually pretty haughty and defensive to the point of being illogical. So as far as acting irrationally goes, I’d say you were justified in reacting the way that you did.”

“Really?” she sniffed. 

He nodded and looked around before leaning closer to whisper in her ear. “Personally, I’ve had several choice words I had been desperately wanting to throw at His Royal Pain In the Backside, but lacked the courage. I’m proud that you stood up to him. Nobody deserves to be spoken down to like that, especially after such a heroic rescue.”

Y/N smiled and pulled Bilbo in for a side hug. “Not even you, Bilbo,” she reminded him. He nodded thoughtfully at that and returned her embrace. 

“You’re quite right,” he whispered into her hair before pulling away. 

After blotting her eyes and the rest of her dampened face, Y/N shrugged. “We haven’t exactly had it easy, but you’re my friend. You all are, but I’ve always felt more relatable to you than the others. We’re the black sheep of this herd, and we should stick together.”

Bilbo smiled gratefully, a pink blush tinting the apple of his cheeks and tips of his ears at hearing that she thought of him as a friend as he did her. Perhaps he didn’t need to distance himself from those who had his back after all.

“You know, after the adventure is over, you could… well, I’d be honored if you came back to the Shire with me.” 

Y/N turned to face him to gauge if he was serious or not. She wasn’t sure why he was offering, but then remembered how she said she had nowhere to go and no home to return to. Considering how homesick he was feeling, Bilbo understood how she must have felt. Y/N happened to catch how their voices were still reverberating off the walls, and wasn’t clear on how far their private conversation was carrying. She dropped her voice lower, just in case. 

“You mean it?”

“Oh yes, I’ve plenty of room! And uh, between us friends, I was debating on heading back to Rivendell tonight. Would you like to come?”

Y/N visibly straightened. Her first immediate thought was not to accept his offer, but remembered what was coming. The goblins, Bilbo finding a magical ring which was integral to the remainder of the quest. And perhaps even beyond that, though she hadn’t dreamed that far ahead. 

“No. No, you go on ahead. I still have a job to do here.” She smiled and gave him an affectionate pat on the shoulder. 

“O-oh… right then.” 

He almost seemed dejected about her declining. But he didn’t know that she was keeping something from him. Bilbo needed to find that ring, and he had to do it alone. Y/N would not alter this chain of events, no matter how mad at Thorin she was. She did thank him for inviting her, to which he gave a meek nod. 

Having nothing else to add, the Hobbit bid Y/N a good night to retire back to whichever vacant area was left to sleep in. She had a mind to make her way back to Bofur, ready to give the guy a piece of her mind about the proper usage of “whisper voices”, but decided that she still needed some time to cool off. Even though she was freezing enough as it was and could use some body warmth.

Besides, Y/N still had a lot to consider and many options to weigh out, so she sat at the mouth of the cave and gazed at where the stars would have been if not for the mist. Would she better off with just telling Thorin the truth about the end result of the quest? She had a very good reason not to. It was obvious that any tampering done to the quest had its repercussions. Saving Bilbo from the fall only served to make her stumble in his stead. Who knows what else would happen if she warned people from their own tripping and falling or near misses. 

What if other mistakes had more dire consequences? This responsibility was proving to be much too great for her and Y/N found herself praying for more guidance. Even at the cost for another head-splitting vision. She didn't want any harm to come to anybody. 

“Seems quiet now. Do you think the battle is over?” Came a voice that never failed to bring a smile to her face.

Y/N looked up into the blue eyes of Fili. His hair and clothes were damp, and the smell of rain permeated the air. She was sure they all smelled like earth now. As she was so upset with the events that led her to sitting out here by herself, she didn’t notice that only rain prevailed. The thunder, and the thunder battle, had stopped.

“Yeah, it seems that way,” she said in a tired voice, returning her gaze to the entrance, listening to the sound of rain.

“May I join you?” 

She offered a small smile and patted the seat beside her and he sat himself down to draw his legs up to make himself more comfortable by her side. He watched her observe her arms. The runes were not visible since the moon was hidden behind thick puffs of mist and her sleeves were down, but he knew they were on her mind when she rubbed a hand over them.

They sat in companionable silence when another thought passed through Y/N’s train of thought. If she ever did return home, she knew she would miss everyone dearly but would they miss her, or did they only want her around because of what she carried in her skin? When they were done with her, would she be a forgotten dream? Y/N hadn’t thought of that before… And she feared what the answer would be. Fili took an audible breath and exhaled slowly.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Fili asked after a pause.

“About what, my almost dying or Thorin telling me what a huge burden I am immediately afterward?”

Fili regarded her with a pained look. Emotions were high for all of them, and he knew his uncle had wronged her, and he wanted to make it right. However, it wasn’t exactly his wrong to right for Thorin. Nonetheless, Fili was determined to ease her pain. He was still pretty shaken up by the traumatic experience as well.

“Don’t take what my uncle said to heart,” Fili said carefully. “You know as well as the rest of us that he has his moods and his temper, and we’re all stressed. But I assure you, it’s done out of a place of care.”

“Well, he has a funny way of showing it. Poor Bilbo didn’t deserve to be scolded after that either,” she spat. The venom wasn’t directed towards Fili, and he knew that. But he still winced.

“Are you going back to the Shire with Bilbo.” 

It didn’t come out as a question, but there was no denying that unmistakable tone of dread and it made Y/N’s heart wrench. She wasn’t sure what else he heard from their conversation, or if anyone else did, but then another thought plagued her. 

Would _ he _miss her? She knows she would. She’d miss that dazzling, dimpled smile between golden moustache braids. Fili’s playful demeanor, his teasing, their talks, sparring together. Fili was a great warrior. They all were in her eyes. What did she contribute to the group? Her runes read “Savior” and “Guardian”, but what the hell was that supposed to entail? Y/N couldn’t fight, she couldn’t hunt or read the terrain, and she had the worst sense of direction (outside of Thorin’s) nevermind the fact that she was in a foreign land. 

“How much have you heard?" she questioned with an eyebrow lift. 

His sheepish hum was almost drowned out from the pitter patter of rain dripping nearby.

"I wanted to come check on you, and when I finally got here that was the only thing I heard him say clearly. I lingered a wee bit, wondering when would be a good time to step in or leave. I didn't mean to eavesdrop."

Fili furrowed his brow and threw her an apologetic look. It was anyone's guess who else heard what she thought was a private discussion, but one thing was for certain: she was glad it was Fili who followed Bilbo in and not The Grump Who Will Not Be Named.

"I'm glad you didn't leave," Y/N said with a smile that he readily returned. "But to answer your question, I don’t know. If I have a way to go back home, I won’t need to worry about where I end up staying.”

A part of Fili had hoped that Y/N would tell him that she didn't want to leave. Tell him that she wanted to stay; to stay because _he_ was here. Did she have any idea how much she meant to the Company? To him? Would she be more inclined to stay if she did? After all they've been through, they considered her family. And Dwarves always look after their own. But at the end of the day, it wasn’t discussed on where Y/N would ultimately reside when all was said and done. That was something that was still up in the air because Y/N was the only one among them with the answers. Fili didn’t want to be forced to resign to the idea that Y/N would be whisked back to her world. And if she was meant to stay, he hoped she didn't have a mind to go all the way to the Shire, living with another male that wasn’t him. And if she did return home… the former would have been much more preferred. He could always venture to the Shire. But being worlds away? Gods, did that have a way of making his chest ache. 

As selfish as it was, Fili didn’t want her to return home. Maybe if she felt more at home here with them, she would want to stay when the time came. 

“Forgive me so speaking so boldly, I know these passed months aren't exactly the best way to convince you, but… Middle Earth could be your home. And so could Erebor.”

Y/N appreciated how sincere his offer was and it made her heart warm at the thought that he might actually truly care. After all, he’s been looking out for her since the very beginning and she considered him a good friend to her. But she knew he was an instinctively compassionate soul. And she was experiencing deeper feelings for Fili that straddled the lines between a crush and serious romantic interest. These were feelings she didn’t want to have because they would only serve to complicate things and likely end in unrequited love and heartbreak if things ever returned to normal.

She averted his stare, suddenly embarrassed at how she felt for him, and if it was painfully obvious. Fili was always so playful and innocuously flirty, especially after the whole “Thorin made me spy on you” leak, but to have him make such serious statements was rather jarring. A friend wouldn’t go to such lengths to convince her to stay in their world… would they?

“Why are you so concerned about where I go?”

He opened his mouth and closed it. He did this a couple times before frowning. Fili thought that now might be a great opportunity to make his intentions and affections perfectly clear. But he was raised to follow the tradition of adhering to courting rituals. He already had a set plan, and his gift wasn’t ready to offer her. But when posed with an opening such as this, what if he never got a second chance to do so? What if the events of the quest rob him of precious time? He clung to the precious memories he had of her up to now. Evaluating. He truly believed that Y/N had to feel _some_thing for him, that she had to have at least an inkling of an idea that he was interested in her. Unless... he was mistaken? There was still so much about Y/N, her world, and her culture that he didn't know about. 

“You truly do not know?” he questioned softly. If only bonds communicated telepathically... if only he could share his feelings with her!

Y/N only shook her head in response, eyes clouding over before she looked away. He swallowed nervously. 

“I feel so lost, Fili…” she confessed abruptly. “About so many things. These runes in my arms, they were the only thing keeping me from being booted out. But now that we know what they say, it doesn’t make any sense! How can I possibly save or guard you all when I’m just a worthless, unskilled, dead weight? I have no idea what I’m doing, or if I’m even doing it right.”

“Oh, Y/N, that is far from true! Don’t let what my uncle said cause you such doubt in yourself!”

“He was right.” 

Fili balked in disbelief. Surely Y/N wasn’t sitting here all this time believing a single preposterous word Thorin said! That was unlike her… how could she believe any of that? Didn’t she know how valued and adored she was by everyone? She was the driving force behind their determination. She was the reason why they all fought so hard. They had hope in her presence because their Maker believed in her, and if she were to falter, she would be taking their hope right along with her. Fili opened his mouth to speak but closed it when she looked to have more to add. 

“I’m from another world. I really don’t belong here,” she whimpered, using Bilbo's handkerchief to dab at her face.

“Y/N,” Fili’s hand gently turned her face so she could look at him. He tried to ignore how soft it was even dampened with rain. “You came to us from the very heavens themselves with the markings of our deity upon you! That was not a coincidence, Mahal would not have chosen you if he didn't think you were capable. You’ve been nothing but a blessing to us and you are meant for so much more than you think.”

Y/N still appeared to hold doubts and Fili grew fearful. The look in her eyes was taking her away from him and into a dark place inside her mind. Well, he may not be able to protect her from her own thoughts, but he could—and will—protect _ her_. He closed his eyes and chose his next words carefully. When he opened them, there was a fierce fire in their light. “Y/N, I want you to listen to me: you are _ not _alone in this world. No matter what happens, you will always have me.”

“W-what do you mean?”

“I made a promise to protect and watch over you, and I fully intend to follow through with those words even after the quest comes to a close. Do you understand? Wherever you go, I will have no choice but to follow.” 

As Y/N’s heart thumped wildly in her chest, she wasn’t sure if she was misinterpreting Fili’s words due to the hope she was holding on to that he might have feelings for her, or if he was trying to reassure her that staying safe in Middle Earth was something that he felt obligated to personally seeing to, as her friend. Looking after his own.

“What if I can’t stay in Erebor?” she asked. 

“Then neither will I.”

Heat flared in her chest. If she had to go elsewhere, Fili was willing to abandon his home and family just to stay by her side? Was it just to fulfill a promise he made or because he might... The declaration gave her butterflies, but Y/N had no right to be that selfish, and Fili should not abandon his family based on what was decided. She was just a lowly nobody from another land who got lucky, but Fili was special… he was royal! She wouldn’t allow him to throw his birthright away over her. 

“You can’t just leave your cause and your people, Fee, especially not for someone like me.”

“Someone like you…” He shook his head disapprovingly at her choice of words, as if she was nothing more than a disposable piece of rubbish. He then started when he caught the nickname she used. She had called him Fee for the first time. Despite that being the name Kili occasionally called him out of endearment, was she expressing it as a pet name?

“Plus,” she added. “You can’t leave Kili on his own. What would he do without you? Thorin would never allow you both to leave with me. If I do live somewhere else, it’s better if I went alone. Your place is with your people.” 

“As is yours! _ We _ can be your family, I thought that was already established. _ Stay_!” he pleaded shamelessly like the lovesick fool that he was. “With me _ … _” 

* * * * *

When Y/N's widened eyes met his, and she struggled to make sure that she had heard him correctly, that was the moment when Fili felt it. When he _ truly _felt it. What was once an innocent fancy for the beautiful maiden, to a realized soul mate, was now an unstoppable force that collided into him with power beyond Fili’s comprehension. 

The bond he felt surged out of his desperation and fear of never again being able to see her combating with the need to tell her how he felt despite his plan on wooing her first. A sinking feeling settled in his stomach at the sudden realization that he could very well lose her not just after all this was over, but right here, right now, while she was right in front of him. He couldn’t imagine never seeing Y/N again, he didn’t want to. He wanted to court her. He wanted a home and a family with her, no matter where it was. He wanted to ask…

Mahal help him, the words were right there on his tongue. He yearned to say them aloud and decided that, his previous courting plans aside, he would throw caution and tradition to the wind and just tell Y/N how he felt. Fili’s heart swelled with love and nerves and pounded as every fiber in his being and soul latched on to her with no intention of ever letting go. Y/N’s confused eyes searched his, looking for the meaning he so desperately wanted to convey. Should she reject him, so be it. But he would make his heart known.

Fili's hand reached out for hers and he found a moment's hesitation. _Is this the right thing to do?_ he wondered. The scenery was far from romantic, he didn't have her gift ready, they were both wet, cold, and not even an hour ago she was dangling off the side of a ledge before another acrimonious encounter with his uncle. And yet...

“Would you like to hear a secret?” he whispered to her, watching as her pupil’s expanded at his husky tone. 

_ Amrâlimê… _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title/some content inspired by "Thunder" by Jessie J. I thought it was really fitting given the scene and emotions our trio is going through. 
> 
> Looks like Fili's drawing up some courage despite the timing being a little out of favor! 
> 
> Also, I know it's been a little topsy-turvy, but I promise (see what I did there?) Thorin's mood swings will calm down after this. Remember, it took him nearly forever and a half to finally accept Bilbo and stop being such a grouch to him. But I think Y/N might finally have slapped some sense into him in her regard. ;) Stay tuned for the next chapter!


	18. Extreme Actions Cause Extreme Repercussions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the missed day! I know I usually post every other Friday (guess my schedule has sort of manifested itself to 2 week increments?), but it’s been a bit hectic for me. I should be back on track soon enough though! Anyhoo, as always, thank you all for leaving kudos, comments, love on this story! I hope you all enjoy this chapter! Please excuse any mistakes I may have missed during editing.

Bofur hated watch duty. 

It was boring. Quiet. There was nothing to occupy his time and no one to talk to. So when he saw Bilbo approaching, he couldn’t help but perk up in relief, hoping the Hobbit had a change of mind or at the very least had decided to give him some company to pass some of the night.

Instead, Bofur only felt the sting of disappointment when he understood that Bilbo’s destination was a ways towards the entrance of the cave, well away from his spot. But still, Bofur tipped his hat and offered his friend a smile. Bilbo returned it with a supplementary wave and that was that. Quick as a mouse and just as quiet, Bilbo was gone. 

Having nothing else to do, Bofur mulled over the events of the day in his designated watch spot until he could switch with someone else when he could no longer keep his eyes open. That wouldn’t be for a while, he reckoned, as he was wide awake. 

Och, this was some night! He couldn’t believe he’d actually seen the legendary stone giants with his own eyes! He would have much preferred not having a front row seat, but this would make for a great song composition when he got back home.

As Bofur sat, his idle hands itched for his whittling knife that he left in his pack—his project was slipped into Bilbo’s belongings the other day, as Bofur believed that the Hobbit could use a bit of luck even if the trinket wasn’t finished yet. When Thorin gave the order to watch, he could not defy him, not even for a quick pit stop. Curious to see how he was faring, his eyes swung over to the king. At least he looked troubled, but whether or not that was because of what he said to Y/N or not was a mystery. He thought, _ My, that was some conversation Thorin and Balin had… poor lass. _

Y/N’s face was pale as a corpse when she was dangling helplessly over that cliff ledge. He wondered why Thorin would say such awful things to her after the fact. It didn’t bode well as an imminent ruler to behave that way, and it made Bofur lose some respect for him. But, at the end of the day, everyone was safe and that was all that really mattered. He still couldn’t believe that Bilbo thought Thorin fancied her. If there were any lingering suspicions about it, they were sure to be snuffed out now.

His mind took him back to that fateful discussion that occurred, well, not that long ago.

_ Bofur cleared his throat. “Wait… who do you think we’re talkin’ about here?” _

_ Bilbo, looking as equally as confused, countered with, “Who do _ you _ think we’re talking about?” _

_ “Fili… who else?” he asked. _

_ Bilbo paled. “I thought we were talking about Thorin.” _

_ “Thorin!” Bofur exclaimed loudly. Bilbo was quick to shush him, waving his hands to encourage the conversation to be kept as quiet as possible. If Bilbo didn’t look so seriously traumatized over it, Bofur would be rolling in laughter at the preposterous thought. _

_ “Durin’s axe, Bilbo, how in the world did you put that together?” _

_ Bilbo huffed and put his hands on his hips, though it did nothing to intimidate Bofur who had to hide his grin by rolling his lips in. Good thing he had a large ‘stache to help mask it. _

_ “Excuse me, I had every reason to believe that there was something going on!” Bilbo suddenly deflated and buried his face in his hands. “Well, until now, that is. Ugh, how embarrassing!” _

_ Bofur cocked his head and cast a dubious glance at Thorin as he scratched the side of his chin. Thorin and Y/N? It was hard for him to picture but he was curious how Bilbo arrived to that conclusion. _

_ “How did you reckon that?” he asked him. As Bilbo went on to explain—starting with how Kili was the one who unintentionally alerted him to the prospect in the first place—up to this point where he accidentally spilled the beans to Thorin, Bofur could understand a little better. He still thought it was hilariously wrong, but he understood now. _

_ Bilbo pouted at him. “I fail to see the hilarity in this, Bofur.” _

_ His struggling smile had cracked wide across his face. “Oh, come now, it is a wee bit funny to think about! But in any case, I’m glad we’ve got this straight so we can focus on the same lad now. Ye shoulda seen him earlier when she continued on with Galavant! Watchin’ on with stars in his eyes.” _

_ “She told more about Galavant? Oh no!” Bilbo snapped out of it and backed up with his hands raised. “No, no, no, I am not getting involved in this mess any longer! It’s none of our business. If-if you wish you continue meddling into their affairs, then be my guest. But after that fiasco, I want no part of it.” _

_ Bofur made a reach for him and dropped his hand when Bilbo shirked away. “We won’t interfere! We’ll just give them openings to get closer, like we planned before. Nothin’s changed.” _

_ “My mind is changed, this…” he gestured between them. “What we’re doing? It’s none of our concern! I never should have gotten involved. I’m just so embarrassed and ashamed of myself. Now Thorin and I will be in even more awkward terms, and worse still, his relations with Y/N are likely to be altered because of me.” _

_ Bofur tried to remain in good cheer about it and insist otherwise, but he could tell that Bilbo’s mind was set. It didn’t hurt him any less, however. _

_ “All right, lad,” Bofur nodded in resolution. “I understand. This’ll be our secret, I won’t tell a soul.” He paused as Bilbo nodded in gratitude and added, “But should ye ever change yer mind? I could always use a partner in crime!” _

_ Bilbo regarded him with a lopsided grin and with a passing pat on the shoulder, while he departed he said, “I know.” _

Bofur stared at Thorin without meaning to, trying to imagine him and Y/N together but he just couldn’t. Not after how downcast her face was after she had given him a solid piece of her mind. It about tore his heart to bits. Bofur just wished he could cheer the lass up some. Then again, the only person who could probably do a fine job of that was…

Bofur watched with deep amusement as the cogs and gears turned in Fili’s head while he sat in the middle of the cave. Pondering. Calculating. Deliberating. Flicking his eyes to the cave entrance and away, entrance and away. Sighing. 

_ Go on, _ he urged with a smile that went unseen. _ Go to her. You know you want to! _

He knew without a shred of a doubt the lad fancied her. It was painfully obvious. Especially because Fili was expressing the telltale signs of love just as Bombur did when he first met his wife. Bofur started a moment as a thought formed in his mind.

_ Had Fili found his One in her? _

If he had, then this could turn out to be quite the important ordeal, indeed! _ And romantic, _ his amorous mind tacked on giddily.

Oh, if only he still had his confidant! This was much too interesting a secret to keep to himself. The suspense of the outcome of their tiptoeing around each other was driving Bofur absolutely bonkers—well, no more than usual. He was quite eager to see how this would all turn out for them. As a hopeless romantic, himself, such things never failed to capture his interest. 

Bofur wondered if Thorin would approve; personally, he thought the two were adorable. Y/N was a feisty, naughty lass when left unfettered, if he were to reference their topics of rather raunchy conversations past. And Fili was such an innocent gentleman. No doubt the lad hadn’t even experimented with a partner before let alone encountered a hint of romantic love. But it’s just as well. 

Experiencing your firsts with someone you truly loved made it all the more special—

_ Ah, there he goes! _ Bofur snickered to himself as he watched Fili come to a decision and stand, carefully stepping over the other lads as he made his way over. Fili only spared him a nod of recognition, and while Bofur watched him disappear down the tunnel, he was really rooting for him. Both of them. Y/N would never be alone in this world as long as Fili was around to see to it. 

_ Lucky bugger, _ Bofur sighed to himself before resuming the dreadful watch in his solitude. Though Y/N was luckier still, she had a support system; evident by the faint, incoherent murmurings he caught drifting in from where Bilbo and the girl were talking. And with Fili? Well, if his hunches were correct, home was where the heart was. And she held Fili’s in the palm of her hands.

* * * * *

After Fili got up and made his way to Y/N, Kili still felt the lingering tension in the cave and found it hard to relax. He was angry at Thorin for speaking to Y/N that way, but angrier still at his discussion with Balin afterward. 

He, Fili, and the rest of them could only sit in silence as an unwilling audience in their discussion when it was obviously better suited to be private—obviously that was a luxury nobody could truly have when this cave was so small, unless they were at the mouth of it where Y/N had decided to retreat—but for Thorin to be so blastedly stubborn about it? It only served to confuse Kili. This was not the same Dwarf who had raised him. The being stubborn part, yes, but for lashing out after such a scary experience was had? Why would he—

Kili turned his head when he heard footsteps approaching and jerked upright. This was way too soon to be returning now! Had Fili changed his mind…? 

Oh, it was only Bilbo. 

Who was doing a great job at avoiding everyone’s eye as he tiptoed and climbed his way into his spot. Kili relaxed a little, his eyes sweeping towards Bofur, who looked bored out of his skull, and his ears strained to hear the low rumble of Fili’s masculine voice and the feminie lilt of Y/N’s, but couldn’t hear anything yet. 

And when he finally did, they must have been keeping their voices low, because nothing concrete carried over. _ Probably for the best, _ Kili thought as he laid back down. He wanted those two to have as many private moments as they could so Fili could find a way to win her heart. He was already on his way to doing that, however, if Y/N’s lingering looks and secret smiles were any evidence to go by.

He knew Fili would never blow up at her in the way Thorin did, and that only brought on the recurring question of “Why?” Why did Thorin say such cruel things to her? Gods, the look on her face… The only time he recalled a similar look of despair was when he and Fili were much younger.

Kili recalled this memory from a long time ago, perhaps one of his earliest memories as a toddler. He always loved to climb. The higher he went, the more exhilarating and proud he felt of himself. He had succeeded in climbing the roof of their house in the Blue Mountains during a game of hide and seek with Fili, and when Thorin found him up there, he was not greeted with praise or encouragement but a good, long timeout. But it was Fili who got true punishment. 

At the time, Kili attuned the shouting as anger, and all Fili could do was cry in confusion and remorse. Looking back now, with Thorin’s outburst triggering that less than pleasant memory, he realized that that rage and anger was hidden in a place of fear. Suddenly Kili was back in their home, peeking around the door where Fili sat on his bed, face in his hands, sobbing while Thorin towered over him as their Amad merely stood in the corner, looking over in sympathy.

_ “You were supposed to be watching your brother!” Thorin bellowed. _

_ Fili hiccuped back his tears, unable to meet his uncle’s eye. “We were only playing…” _

_ “What if Kili had fallen? What if he hurt himself? He is still too young, Fili! He needs constant supervision and you were in charge of him!” Thorin paced in front of him, not tearing his eyes away. Kili wanted to barge in there and defend his brother, but Thorin’s raised voice scared him. _

_ “I’m-I’m sorry, Thorin,” Fili whimpered. _

_ Thorin grunted in response, unfazed. He stopped pacing and knelt in front of his oldest nephew. “Look at me, irakdashat.” _

_ Dis continued observing the scolding from the other side of the room. Her eyes flicked over and caught Kili’s and he had a mind to run to her arms, but she shook her head, giving him a stern look when he made a move towards her. _

_ “Look at me, Fili,” Thorin said again, gentler this time. Fili sniffled and wiped his face before lifting his reddened eyes. “You need to be more responsible from now on. Kili looks up to you for guidance, you cannot encourage his reckless behavior any longer. There is no greater pain than that of losing your sibling.” There was no mistaking the sorrow in his tone as he said this. _

_ “Yes, uncle…” _

_ And with a firm pat on his golden head, Thorin left Fili be to think about what the words he imparted to him. _

Thorin’s words were not ignored that day. Since then, Fili and Kili played much more carefully, much to Kili’s dismay, until they were a bit older to take caution on their own. Kili hadn’t recalled any other outburst like that from Thorin since. Well, until today, that is. 

And now he understood why. Even though it should have been handled much better than this. Unlike that incident so long ago, Y/N was not a child. She knew the dangers of their world and still faced them with courage, but she was still a woman and she wasn’t from Middle Earth. He should have gone easier on her. His eyes sought his uncle’s, who looked upon him with humble apology. Kili shook his head in disappointment.

_ It is not me you should be apologizing to, _ he thought to him with a weak glare. As if Thorin understood, he only nodded and paused a moment to gather himself before he sat up.

* * *

“Would you like to hear a secret?” Fili whispered.

“Yes,” Y/N whispered back anxiously. She watched as Fili hesitated. There was no telling what he would say to her. A confession? A compliment? Reassurance? Whatever it was, it would obviously be something she didn’t already know. There was resolve in his eyes and she sat there on pins and needles with her fragile heart pounding in her ears. So much happened today and her stresses were at an all time high on this emotional rollercoaster she couldn’t quite find a way off of. Perhaps now wasn’t the time to hear whatever secret Fili wanted to say. No matter how well-intentioned it might be. If it was something she didn’t want to hear, it might crush her spirits even further. And if it was something good? Her heart might explode. 

“Actually,” she started. “Maybe we...” And the sentence drifted. Fili tilted his head.

Very rarely does a person get more than one chance to confess their most deepest, sincerest feelings when The Moment was present. Usually, The Moment occurs only once; a window opens at the pique opportunity, sometimes never to return again, or at the very least returning after it’s already too late. Or when it’s no no longer an appropriate time. However...

“Y/N?” 

This was not one of those moments. 

Fili remained in place, his disgruntled eyes never leaving Y/N’s face as she jerked away from him as if they were children getting caught doing something they weren’t supposed to. By Mahal, it was like this was being done on purpose! That familiar, deep baritone was the last voice Fili wanted to hear approaching them. And he was startled at the foreign hostility he felt rising in his blood the closer his kin got. 

When Thorin finally reached them, his attention directed to his nephew first and then to Y/N. Fili quietly stewed in his seat. He was so certain they would not be disturbed, least of all by his uncle. The fates seemed to be mocking him; this was getting old. Though, perhaps it would be better to stick to his courting plan, as he intended. But by his braids, was he sorely disappointed. 

“A word with you, if I may,” Thorin continued, blissfully unaware of what he interrupted. And it’s not like Fili could tell him to bugger off or anything. 

Y/N hesitated. Great. More words. What did he want now? To add more insult to injury? Any other harsh things he needed to say that had yet to be brought to light? Thorin’s presence had soured the reprieve Fili had granted her and she had a feeling they wouldn’t have another chance to hear his secret like this again. She should have just let him talk! Y/N was so sure that Fili might have been about to express that he had feelings to her, or tell her something as equally important, but now she’d never know. They were always being interrupted from having a personal moment like this together. Given her stress levels, she wasn’t sure what she would do if he said that he liked her. Or maybe that was their deity trying to spare her from heartbreak of a love that was not meant to be. 

“Sure,” she replied lowly. 

Thorin’s eyes softened and he nodded in thanks, turning his eyes to Fili again as a message to leave them. His words were for her ears only. 

Fili looked between the two, not wanting to leave her alone with his dour uncle who was responsible for her sadness in the first place. He was greatly annoyed in this inopportune timing and Fili felt an overprotective urge to step in front of him and shield Y/N from view; he was not allowed to cause her any more hurt. But when his uncle’s gaze did not falter, only intensified, Fili looked to Y/N to decide. 

If Y/N wasn’t comfortable being alone with Thorin, then he would stay no matter what Thorin said. But when she only smiled and nodded, that’s how he knew it was okay for him to go. Taking all that was left of his pride and anticipation with him, Fili slowly sauntered back inside the cave, praying he didn’t just make the biggest mistake of his life. 

_ Why couldn’t I just say it? _ Fili lamented. Every step he took away from Y/N felt wrong. He rubbed at the pain growing in his chest.

Kili sat up when Fili approached, eyes glittering with anticipation before his brows creased in worry on his forehead. He had been waiting impatiently for his brother to return and had hoped that he’d bring Y/N with him. Seeing Fili return empty-handed with that expression on was not a good sign. Especially if Thorin was back there alone with her.

“Is she all right, brother?” he whispered, unable to guess the answer based on Fili’s face. 

Fili looked back in the direction he came from. “I don’t know,” he bit out. The “I’m not” went unsaid. 

“I like Y/N…” Kili admitted. “I don’t want her to feel like she doesn’t belong here.” Even though the conversation was between them, there were murmurs of agreement rippling through the Company.

“Neither do I, Kili.” Fili agreed solemnly. And now Thorin was back there with her, talking about Mahal knows what. As he eased onto his back, propping his head up on his arm, his mood darkened the longer it took for their return. 

_ I should have just told her how I felt, _Fili thought.

* * *

After Fili left, Y/N had expected to settle into an awkward silence once the king stood himself in front of her, causing her to look up at him. But instead she felt nervous as all hell. Even though the anger and bite he directed towards her earlier was no longer in his face, she couldn’t help but feel intimidated. And as he so often did, Thorin carried the weight of the room wherever he went. Wielding it as he did his weapons. 

Y/N’s shoulders tensed with the heaviness in the air and she swallowed back her still fresh sore feelings. Thorin was ready to talk and came prepared with what he had intended to say to her. Y/N decided to speak only when he was finished and gave him her full attention, bracing herself for a reprimanding and trying to rein in the anger that was beginning to resurface as his words replayed over and over in her mind. 

He started with a sigh and knelt in front of her on one knee so that they were level. “There are no words I can say to heal the hurt I inflicted upon you. You were right, I should have taken the time to understand your predicament before letting my urges best me, especially after your noble act of bravery today. And for that,” his bright blue eyes beseeched hers. “I am sorry.”

Okay, that was so not what she expected to happen. 

Y/N was taken aback at seeing this proud person kneeling before _ her _of all people in apology. Thorin Oakenshield knelt to no one! Not once even in her dreams! It seemed like a far-fetched idea that she would be given an apology, and so soon, but she certainly was not expecting him to make this big of a gesture over it when he finally got around to it. 

_ He must have swallowed a lot of his pride to force himself to do this, _ she thought suspiciously. _ Either that or Balin made him. _

Y/N was reticent on whether or not she intended to accept his apology and there was no doubt that Thorin wouldn’t like it being rejected. But this wasn’t about saying sorry, it was about the trust and relationship of theirs that was shaken that she was most upset about. 

She stared at him torn. 

It seemed as though he was willing to take responsibility for his actions by acknowledging them and setting away his pride to let her know that he knew he messed up and wanted to make it right. To the point where he felt he had to _ kneel_. He could have asked her to stand. Or he could have sat down. But no. He, a Dwarf _ king_, was kneeling before her, an otherworldly human, with his head bowed. 

As much as his actions had harmed her trust with him, there was a bigger picture she had to force herself to focus on: her task was to guard and save the Durins from their fate. They might not get along, but there was no room for petty animosities spawned by poor decisions done in outburst. Y/N decided to throw away any flighty grudge she wanted to hold against him and be the better person for it. But man… it was more enticing to lash right back out at him. 

Y/N did intend to forgive him. But she sure as hell was going to give him a piece of her mind while she was at it; it was important that Thorin knew the gravity of his actions and words and that she would no longer tolerate him acting out like an entitled diva. The sting of the emotional wound was still fresh for her, after all. And what he said was uncalled for. 

“You really hurt me,” she told him. “But thank you for apologizing, I really appreciate that.”

She waited to see if there was anything else he wanted to say and half expected him to rise if he didn’t, but Thorin remained where he was. Y/N watched him curiously. 

“There is more I need to apologize for,” Thorin added softly. “I am ashamed to admit that I had my kin spy on you for information you were withholding. I know you are not telling me everything about your Sight, and so I did this because I do not understand why you would keep me in the dark while you tell someone else about it.”

When he looked up at her, she saw the honest confusion and remorse in his eyes as he explained his reasoning. _ Ah, this must be what Fili was talking about when he told me, _ she thought. Much like Fili, Y/N could sort of understand why Thorin did what he did, but she didn’t agree with his method of going about it. Why couldn’t he have just asked her? Y/N sighed, exasperated.

Running her hands over her face, she held back a groan. “And how do you know I’m telling someone else more details?” she challenged, even though his assumption was correct. Thorin regarded her inauspiciously. 

“I may make foolish decisions from time to time, but I am no fool. I am willing to come clean about my slight against you. I believe it is only fair that I am offered the same courtesy. Shall I start with the trolls incident, or would whatever it is you discussed with Bofur be good to start?”

Y/N bit her tongue on that, already getting triggered by his sense of privilege. She wasn’t sure if Fili spoke to him about the spying already like he said he would, or if Thorin acted on his own, or if maybe Balin had something to do with this but the fact that Thorin actually admitted this particular wrongdoing, while still kneeling at her feet in what she hoped was sincere contrite, was enough for Y/N to consider forgiving him and coming clean, too. What kept her back was his distrust and need to validate what he did. 

“There’s some things I just can’t tell you. I only know one outcome of this quest. One! If I changed it, I’m not sure I’ll know what stays the same or what ends up differently, if it’s supposed to be or not. If I can find a way to manipulate how the chain of events is supposed to happen so that I can guard and save you, then the less you know the better. If you know every little thing that’s going to happen, you’ll want to alter it on your own, won’t you.”

Thorin didn’t need to answer, they both knew what his answer was. Y/N continued, “You gotta believe me, if I felt that telling you what’s going to happen would help, I would have already. I’m on your side here, you have to understand that; I don't know what else I can possibly do to convince you of that.” She then gestured to the cave entrance. “I tried to tamper with one of the things that happened and look where it got me. In my dreams, Bilbo was the one who was supposed to be hanging off of that ledge, but when I prevented it, I’m the one who ended up falling… then you yelled at me for it.”

Thorin’s eyes dropped from hers, with his head following after. There were a lot of grays in that thick, lush hair of his that Y/N hadn’t ever paid much attention to before. She wouldn’t let it distract her now. He muttered something that she didn’t catch. 

“What’d you say?” Y/N asked. He lifted his head and got off of his knee to occupy the place Fili was previously sitting in. He sighed deeply and clenched his hand into a fist over his knee.

“All I have known in my life is loss… having already lost so many who were dear to me, I did not have time to think. I could only react in a way to prevent another loss from happening; out of fear.” He paused and swung his haunted eyes her way. “I was scared. If you had fallen… I understand that my choice of words after do not compensate for my reasoning behind it. But know this: you mean more to us than you could possibly understand. And to me. I wanted to wait until I was of sound mind before I apologized to you after parting on rather acrimonious terms. I may owe one to Balin as well. But you deserved an apology and an explanation; you were likely more scared than any of us.”

_ Damn you, Thorin. I want to stay mad at you, _ she thought to him. But how could she possibly do that now that she understood where he was coming from and saying it in that tone of voice? Nobody else has probably ever heard him inflect in this manner. Despite the mixture of emotions swirling within, she felt oddly flattered. 

“It still doesn’t give you pardon for your quick mouth, and it doesn’t mean that it’s okay for you to keep doing that. So…” Y/N paused when he regarded her with a deep frown, resigned to rejection. “I’ll forgive you. On one condition. If you do anything like this again? The spying, going behind my back, insulting me, or not accepting all the information that I’m willing to give you for the sake of our _ safety_, then I won’t tell you a single thing about any of my visions again.” 

Cobalt eyes narrowed into hers, making the hairs at the back of her neck prickle by his intensity. She challenged him right back with a narrowed stare of her own. Sure, he outmatched her in many ways, but Y/N wasn’t budging on this. This was her offer, he could take it or leave it. Eventually, Thorin resolved her request and nodded.

“Aye. We are in agreement then.”

“I mean it, Thorin. Do not do that shit again,” she pointed sternly. He smirked in response, shaking his head at her foul mouth. 

Lifting his hand in oath he said, “I will withdraw my sister-sons from spying and I will no longer question your motives. I place my sole trust in what you deem worthy to share. If Mahal found you fit to be our chosen Guardian and Savior, I would be a fool to question him further. Does this satisfy your needs?”

Y/N sucked in her teeth and battled a blush into submission. “Does this satisfy your needs?” is certainly not something you hear Thorin Oakenshiled say every day. A vision of Fili entered her mind and she found herself fighting back a feeling of guilt. Thinking of Thorin in that manner had felt like she was betraying him somehow, which was silly since they weren’t together, or even open about their intentions. But then again, the heart always was a funny little confusing organ, wasn’t it. 

Thorin eyed her questioningly, and she swallowed her nerves. God, if Thorin knew she had the hots for his nephew what the hell would he think? And it’s not like she could ask him… based on how the courting rituals were done here, it was bad form for a female to “take the lead”. Which was just stupid, as far as she was concerned. And considering how he responded to Fili just kissing her hand, he probably wouldn’t like that Y/N had feelings for him. 

Y/N decided to take this opportunity to address her own wrong. Just to clean the slate between them. “I also need to apologize. For approaching you in front of the Company and slapping you like I did. I should have pulled you aside or discussed my beef with you in private, so I’m sorry, too.”

“Beef…?”

Y/N waved her hand. “Figure of speech to say that I had issues with you. I guess I also acted irrationally, but I felt it was justified since it was immediately after my life being threatened.”

Thorin nodded understandingly. “We both acted rather hot headed in the heat of the moment. I accept your apology.”

“Well, I am 'disobedient'. I know I’m not the easiest to get along with sometimes.” Thorin’s lips curled up at her attempt at humor. 

“I only hope to rekindle what you think of me in a better light moving forward,” he said wistfully.

Y/N ran her hand through her hair. “About that... we really need to work on rebuilding our trust with one another outside our talks, and you need to have a little patience with me. If anything, we need to at least meet halfway and start working on how I can actually help you all. I don’t want to be this damsel in distress you all feel that you need to protect. For as long as I’m here, I should at least learn the ways of the land and, you know, life?” she said. Thorin considered her words, carefully thinking over her terms. 

“Agreed. We can discuss those details another night. And I promise that what happened earlier will never happen again, you have my word.” Y/N nodded in accord and Thorin made a move to rise until she stuck her pinky out at him expectantly. 

He eyed it questioningly, recalling the sight of her doing this with the others, but he didn’t know what she wanted him to do or why. “I have seen you make this gesture with Fili... what does it signify?” He mimicked her by extending his own pinky as if the answer would come if he looked at it at the right angle. 

“It’s a pinky promise.” 

“Is my word of promise not enough?” He almost sounded insulted and Y/N couldn’t help but laugh. 

“It is. But in my culture, when you make a promise that you intend to keep, you lock pinkies to seal the deal. It’s a physical contract.” She smiled before adding more seriously, “It’s bad luck to break a pinky promise, so you should _ never _make a promise you won’t follow through on. We should have done this back at Rivendell. Pony up the pinky, buster, or all your words mean nothing.”

Thorin wrinkled his nose, looking from his pinky to hers.

“A rather silly custom. Very well,” he huffed and amply locked his pinky with hers, pausing briefly to observe the stark difference in their finger sizes. Her wee fingers and hands… he couldn’t help but grin at how dainty they were in comparison to his own. He felt something stir in him then as they connected to one another on equal footing once more. Blossoming into… was that affection? 

“So, we are forgiven?” Thorin asked, wanting to make sure and not removing his pinky from hers until he was given an answer.

She had half a mind to tease him. To tell him he could wait until tomorrow and stew in anticipation as punishment, but considering the moment they shared and receiving his heartfelt apology, she decided to cut him some slack since he promised it wouldn’t happen again. This was his last chance. 

“Forgiven, but not forgotten.” 

Thorin chuckled at her answer, picking up her playful undertone. It was such a pleasant sound that Y/N wouldn’t mind hearing more of. “It appears we are rubbing off on you. Come, we should rest now. It has been a trying day for us all.”

With the traumatic experience still being processed in her post-shock body with fatigue settling in, and now with the hope that Thorin would actually keep his word this time, Y/N had forgotten all about the next part of their adventure. 

Which came as a not so friendly reminder when the floor opened up below to swallow them all down. 

* * *

Fili found it strange that his first thought at being frisked by these goblins whose home they tumbled into was, “Y/N’s courting gift will never get finished.”

But here he was. Watching warily as they were huddled in the middle of a huge goblin swarm with quite easily the most revolting-looking creature he’d ever seen towering over them. Their things were being kept from them, but Fili was glad he had some weapons stashed away on his person to use that they hadn't stolen. 

Y/N was safely ducked down in front of him masquerading as a fellow Dwarf so that she wouldn’t be seen while the king of the goblins paraded in front of them. She’d suffered an injury during the fall, but there was no time to see to it; everything moved way too fast for anyone to react accordingly. When the king stomped forward, the ground shook beneath their feet. 

“Who would be so bold as to come armed into my kingdom? Spies? Thieves? Assassins?” his booming voice demanded. 

“Dwarves, Your Malevolence!” Came the reply from one of his subjects. 

“Dwarves?”

“We found them on the Front Porch,” it snorted.

“Well don’t just stand there! Search them! Every crack, every crevice!” the goblin king ordered with obvious delight. 

And boy, did they. Y/N was groped, poked, grabbed, and pinched everywhere she didn’t want their nasty little paws to reach, causing her to squeal and grunt in protest. It only served to egg them on further, so she kicked at the tiny hands and faces that ventured too close as she tried to remain out of view while nurturing her bruised arm. 

One of the goblins grabbed it a bit too roughly and she cried out in pain, bringing in an unwanted pair of eyes.

“Hold on, what’s that there?” the goblin king pointed as the Dwarves’ belongings were unceremoniously dumped by the little cretins of evil at their master’s feet. “Come on, let’s see!”

Fili and the rest of them instinctively moved closer together to shield Y/N from his view. But it was no use and it was already too late. One of the goblins leapt in and kicked her from the back so that she stumbled to her hands and knees right in front of the goblin king. She winced as the bruise rippled a spasm of pain up her arm upon impact. 

Her Dwarven companions rushed in to her defense, shouting curses and protests, but were ultimately held back by the legion of goblins. 

“Oh, what’s this? A human female? With a bunch of male Dwarves, eh?” the king chuckled darkly. “Oh, I like it!”

Y/N grimaced up at him, unable to concoct any other expression from the soreness in her arm that would no doubt be constantly tested before it could be properly healed. She was faintly surprised that she was still unscathed from the quest up to this point. But sooner or later, luck was bound to run out. She could only hope that this would be the worst injury she would sustain with everything else to come. 

The goblin king leaned over to get himself a better look and Y/N swallowed back a gag. 

The entire kingdom smelled like what she assumed a hoarder’s house would; reeking of filth, neglect, sweat and musk. Just… straight up funk. And the king seemed to be radiating the odor in the first place. It wouldn’t do to provoke his temper, however. He was a simpleminded creature who no doubt would be very easily flattered and more accommodating with the right words.

“What’re you doing in these parts?” he asked, his yellowed eyes flicking between her and her friends. Unsure to whom he was speaking to, Y/N looked up at this gross scrotum-bearded fiend and her mind scrambled to put together anything of use to buy them some time before Gandalf arrived—if he arrived. 

She knew that Bofur should not be the one to come forward if she wanted the surprise attack to come more swiftly. But mainly she still wasn’t sure how much more altered these course of events would be with her presence. 

Y/N cleared her throat and got to her feet. “Well…” 

“No tricks! I want the truth, warts and all!” the goblin king grinned sleazily as he settled back into his throne, his eyes glinting in excitement for anything satisfactory to come to his ears. 

_ Oh my god, what do I say? What do I say!? _ Y/N’s mind screamed. The deafening quiet in their underground kingdom reached a staggering volume. Every sniff, step, growl, kicked pebble, and breath could be heard in the quiet. 

And all eyes were on her. Yeah, no pressure or anything. 

“Warts and all, eh? Okay,” she started nervously. The king merely hummed in appreciation and urged her to continue with a click of his cane.

She could practically feel Thorin’s and Fili’s gazes blaring into her and it took all of Y/N’s will not to look back at them. She had a plan—okay, she didn’t, but she was working on one on the fly!—and she could only hope they would catch on and run with it. Or stay quiet. It was a gamble for either.

Suffering with a big box of nothing for ideas, she blurted out the only thing that came to mind based on a movie she had watched to death in her more carefree, and less dangerous days.

“It’s my intention to commandeer a ship in Dale, and I’ve hired these Dwarves as my crew to raid, pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer our weasley black guts out.”

There was silence first, as the goblins looked from Y/N to their king in confusion. The murmurings of the Dwarves behind her also added to the notable confusion being exchanged. But then… a growl. No, it wasn’t a growl, that was laughter. The king threw his head back as the sound grew louder and louder, holding his bulging gut as it shook from wave after wave of laughing. 

“Raid, pillage, and plunder your black guts out, aye? Oh, that is the worst lie I’ve ever heard of!” he bellowed and kicked his feet as his goblin minions warily joined in the hilarity.

After they calmed down, the king slammed his cane into the ground to order silence as he stalked towards her. He leaned forward and stared Y/N down with a cruel-looking smirk. “I do appreciate a good joke, as bad it was, but I believe I said that I wanted the _ truth_. And if you won’t tell me, we have ways of making you talk!”

This caused the goblin fiends to rejoice and her friends to riot. But she stood her ground despite her shaking.

She knew it would be a hard task to insist otherwise, and she tried to summon her inner Captain Jack Sparrow by quoting him on his famous “honest men” speech in hopes that the king might believe it and bargain for a harmless pardon. Or stall for time for Gandalf to arrive. Y/N opened her mouth to retort, but someone else jumped in for her. 

“If it’s more information ye want, then I’m the one you should speak to!” Bofur interjected. Y/N shot him a death glare over her shoulder, pleading with her eyes for him to stop. _ I have this, I can salvage this! Don’t butt in and ruin it! _She screamed in her head.

With the king’s attention now directed at Bofur, who joined Y/N’s side and was nonchalantly trying to push her back to the Company, he proceeded to ruin any chances she would have had at saving the conversation. Just like she dreamed, the king was not appeased by the answers he was given. It was likely that no matter what they told him, true or no, he wouldn’t have let them go anyway. 

After the king yelled for Bofur to stop, he uttered the same words she had dreamed of over and over. Only with a slight variation. “If they will not talk, we’ll make them squawk! Bring up the Mangler! Bring up the Bone Breaker!” 

He turned to Y/N and pointed his fat finger in her face. "Start with their ‘pillaging’ female companion”, he chuckled.

“No!” Fili shouted, lunging forward. But Thorin had gotten to Y/N first, calling out at the same time.

“Wait!” 

“Thorin, no!” she hissed at him, but he ignored her and protectively shoved her behind him so that she backed into the safety of the Company. They drew her in, cocooning her in a protective Dwarven shield.

“Well, well, well! Look who it is.” As the king went on his usual dialogue, Y/N face palmed and sighed deeply. This was all going terribly. If only Bofur would have just let her finish! Something pressed into her and she jerked away ready to slap the offender away, before realizing it was only Fili. The worry in his eyes was very evident and she tried to smile reassuringly at him, even though it came off as forced.

Where the hell was Gandalf? 

The king continued his deprecating speech to Thorin in the meantime, taking note of his protectiveness, “Found yourself some warmth on your journey, did you?” Nodding at Y/N. Though “warmth” was said with such sleazy innuendo that he may as well have called her his whore. It made Thorin seethe in place and the others to bark out insults that went ignored, though Thorin remained silent. “I know someone who would pay a pretty price for your head. Just the head! Nothing attached.”

Y/N eyed their weapons on the ground in front of them, just out of their reach. She leaned over to whisper to Fili, “Do you have any of your weapons on you right now that they didn’t take?”

“A couple, why?” he whispered back. 

“Get them ready.”

* * *

Oh, the smell of fresh air and temporary freedom!

It took all of Y/N’s might not to run up and hug the shit out of Gandalf the Grey when she first saw him blast his way—with surprising style—in the goblin cave, but alas, when he declared it was time to take up arms, you couldn’t really refute that. Y/N was handed her sword by Dwalin and even though her mind raced trying to remember her training, her body just seemed to move on its own, slicing any goblin that lunged her way as she tried to ignore the pain in her arm. 

And before she knew it they had managed to survive escaping the clutches of the goblins and take refuge out in the forest.

But now instead of having a very sore arm, she had succumbed to a few new injuries on her person that she would have done great without. Like her fetching busted lip, sliced thigh and nearly dislocated shoulder that was not just a small, fading hum of pain. But in the grand scheme of things, these flesh wounds were way better than a lost life so she counted her blessings. On the bright side, she had her sword back. The only belonging of hers that remained...

And speaking of lives... 

“Where’s Bilbo?” Gandalf asked after he was finished counting heads. “Where is our Hobbit?”

Nobody answered him. Y/N bent over, resting her hands on her knees while she panted for breath. When she righted herself, the gash in her thigh caused her to wince. Looking down to wear she was attacked, there was a good sized slit on her thigh. Not deep enough to need stitches, but just large enough to constantly sting.

She pressed a hand on it to stop the bleeding and hissed at the pain. Dwalin happen to catch that and moved closer out of concern.

“Let me see that, lassie,” he tried to nudge her hand out of the way, but she slapped it away. 

“Just a scratch, I’m fine. More shaken up than anything.”

Dwalin harrumphed in disbelief but let her be, crossing his arms and staying close, prepared to force her to comply if he saw that it was worse than she was insisting.

“What happened exactly? Tell me!” Gandalf demanded Nori in a borderline panicked voice as the conversation continued.. 

Thorin stepped forward. “I'll tell you what happened. Master Baggins saw his chance and he took it. He's thought of nothing but his soft bed and his warm hearth since first he stepped out of his door. We will not be seeing our Hobbit again. He is long gone.”

Y/N groaned in annoyance on Bilbo’s behalf. “God, Thorin—”

“No, he isn’t,” Bilbo answered. 

Gandalf’s face lifted instantly, “Bilbo Baggins! I've never been so glad to see anyone in my life!”

Y/N felt no relief like she assumed she would feel seeing Bilbo emerge from behind the tree he was hiding behind. Partly because she knew he would make it out safely, but also because with her adrenaline levels decreasing, her amount of pain was rising in its stead. Everything seemed to be going right on course. She still had no idea whether that was good or bad, but she was very happy to see him and bolted forward to give him a hug even though her thigh protested.

Bilbo, though very flustered, gingerly returned it and approached the stunned group. 

“Bilbo, we’d given you up!” Kili said in awe. 

Fili added, “How on earth did you get past the goblins?”

“How, indeed…” Dwalin mused warily. Thorin’s gaze shot to Y/N for any hint of reveal, but she studiously ignored him and focused her sight on Bilbo, he quickly did the same. 

Bilbo only laughed nervously and shrugged it off as he slipped the secret of his escape into his pocket. 

_ Or pocketses, _ Y/N smirked to herself, happy she didn’t meet that odd creature who dwelled below the goblin town.

“Well, what does it matter? He’s back,” Gandalf smiled. 

Thorin stepped forward. He knew Y/N probably knew the reasons, but he wanted to know, too. Wanting to learn from his past mistakes, Thorin’s eyes met Y/N’s again and then back to Bilbo, hoping that if he asked properly, Bilbo would be kind enough to enlighten him. “It matters,” he insisted. “I want to know; why did you come back?”

Bilbo glanced Y/N’s way once and she gave him a knowing nod before he returned his gaze back to Thorin. He was standing up for himself just as they discussed. Only now, Bilbo felt more emboldened about it than before she came here. There was something different about his voice than when he did this in her dreams. Y/N was proud of him. 

“Look, I know you doubt me. I know you always have. And you're right. I often think of Bag End. I miss my books, and my armchair, and my garden. See, that's where I belong. That's home. And that’s why I came back because you don't have one, a home. It was taken from you. But I will help you take it back if I can.”

While the Dwarves were taken aback, finally understanding that Bilbo actually cared about them and their cause, Y/N gave Bilbo a thumbs up. He smiled lopsidedly, and awkwardly returned the gesture, likely having only the faintest idea of what it symbolized. She wondered if any of them would be as willing to help her return back to her home, if it was possible. 

Bilbo had already established his impeccable friendship towards her by offering her residency in the Shire with him if she couldn’t go back. But none of the Dwarves, save for Fili, had ever offered her anything as such. 

And especially not from the one with whom it would matter from most. In fact, now that she thought about it, Thorin had never properly thanked her for her service, or had reciprocated that he would help her return to her world when this was over. It was a selfish thought to be sure. And no doubt Thorin already had a ton of different things on his mind, but it would have meant a lot to her to hear from him. 

Before she could dwell too farther down that lonely road of self-pity, it started. 

The howls. Everyone jumped and Y/N cursed herself for forgetting yet another important scene from her dream. “God damnit!” she mumbled. 

Thorin looked to Gandalf, wide eyed. “Out of the frying pan…”

“And into the fire,” Gandalf returned. “Run. Run!”

* * * * *

The moment Azog the Defiler stepped into view from the brush of the trees, Y/N remembered her meeting with the entity. Azog was there, slowly approaching her during their discussion from the misty setting. Y/N still had a multitude of questions, but one thing was clear…

Y/N looked down at her arms where her runes, her destiny, was decided. And felt very ill-equipped. 

“Azog!” she heard Thorin whisper from the branch below her. 

_ You are the Savior and Guardian of the line of Durin, _ Y/N reminded herself in hopes to summon some courage. It didn't work. She took her titles in as literal a sense as she could. And to Y/N, that translated to her needing to kill the orc. The meeting with the entity was probably the means for her to understand that. But how could she possibly be expected to do this? Was the time to act… now? Maybe he wouldn’t suspect her. He would have no idea that there was someone among them who would always remain one step ahead. 

“It cannot be…” Thorin continued. 

“Thorin,” Y/N’s voice quaked, the fear becoming a vile taste on her tongue. “I have to—”

Y/N staggered back, her arm reaching out to grab back onto the branch in her shock. She felt an unfriendly jolt shoot through her head and feared the absolute worst. “No, not now!” she whispered, clenching her eyes shut and pressing her palm against her forehead as another shock wave pummeled through.

White pulsed in her vision but she fought against it with all the willpower she had. _ No, not now! Do _ not _ do this to me now! _ She begged whoever was listening. Another split of pain cracked her skull open and she fell into the tree trunk with a whimper. 

Wargs were beginning their attack on them, and Y/N was doing everything in her power to fight off the oncoming vision while trying not to slip off. 

“Don’t do this, don’t do this, don’t do this…” she repeated through clenched teeth. Instead of being sucked through a tunnel of white, however, just the faintest bit of white creeped in through the corners of her vision and everything slowed while the wargs broke down their only means of protection and safety until they were all mostly hanging off of the large cliffside with the tree desperately hanging on to the earth by its roots. 

Thorin and Azog locked eyes and she stared at the pale beast fearfully. 

_ You will need to choose, _ a deep voice spoke to Y/N in Khuzdul, oddly understanding it. _ Only you can choose. And if you cannot, they will all perish. _

* * * * *

Fili was terrified. Y/N was in the other tree, he was far away from her, and the wargs were way too close to all of them. And there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. 

Fili looked to Gandalf for help, hoping he had a plan. If he did, nobody knew about it but that wizard. 

He braced himself for the possibility that this might very well be their last moments alive, and his eyes frantically searched out Y/N to commit as much of her in his memory as he could until the end. She never told him how, or if, he would die in the quest… but if he was to die tonight, then he would wait for her at the gates and together they would walk the Halls of Mandos; he would wait for her. 

However, he was not going out without a fight. His first priority was staying alive, the next? Protecting his woman. 

Fili gathered himself and grabbed a hold of his weapon, but something unfolded in front of his eyes that gave him pause. 

Azog challenged his uncle. And… he accepted. 

“Thorin, no!” Y/N screamed, making a reach for him before he could break away. 

“What is she doing?!” he faintly heard Kili say from above him. Fili would remember the smell of the fire and smoke of this night. The cold air tainted with revenge. The sight of seeing his people’s enemies in front of his eyes for the first time had brought everything his uncle ever told him into acute focus. He would remember the danger they were in and the utterly helpless feeling of being “too late” for the rest of his days, should he survive. 

This was why they were reclaiming Erebor. That pale orc murdered his family. And he wouldn’t stop until every last Durin was extinguished. As Thorin made the charge, he understood what being the King Under the Mountain meant for Thorin. 

But all of his pride and battle fire sapped the moment he finally understood Kili’s worries and heard her voice reach his ears. 

* * * * *

“Where do you think you’re going? Y/N!” The desperation in Balin’s voice halted her movements more so than his hand reaching out to clasp tightly onto her clothing did when she made the jump down, and when she turned to look at him she could see the terror and hurt in his eyes as he pleaded for her to stay. 

Y/N heard Fili calling for her to stay where she was.

She looked from him to Thorin who confronted his Orc nemesis. And suddenly, Y/N had an epiphany. It was an odd thing to think about at a time like this, but she realized then that she had feelings of affection for both Fili and Thorin. She wanted to be the one to protect Thorin from the Orc as she knew she had to do, but she also wanted to protect Fili. She couldn’t fail, she couldn’t let them die. Not if she somehow had the power to do it. 

There was no backing away from this: she had a decision to make.

Y/N looked to Fili who was urging her to stay where she was, hurriedly scrambling his way around his tree to get to her. Then she looked towards Thorin, who was now struck to the ground awaiting his doom. Balin’s hand tightened on her clothing as she leaned forward. 

“Don’t!” she heard Fili say from afar. But she felt purpose fueling the fire rising inside of her. God, what was she doing… 

“Lass, don’t! You’ll get yourself killed!” Balin exclaimed. Y/N’s eyes flicked up to where Bilbo was, who already had Sting out. They shared a determined look and he nodded, already on his swift feet and making his way down the tree to help. 

With a wordless, sharp tug, Y/N broke free from Balin’s grip and followed behind Bilbo with her own sword drawn. The sound of Fili’s desperate calls as he watched her possibly run headfirst into her death would forever haunt her dreams, if she managed to survive this. Bilbo dashed forward and she skirted out of view; to sneak up on Azog. He and his minions would be distracted by Bilbo and that’s when she would go in for the kill. 

Knowing Bilbo would fight his valiant battle, shielding Thorin from harm, Y/N’s feet carried her the remaining distance and tried to aim for a place under cover for her moment. 

As courageous an effort as it was, Y/N had missed a monumental detail: she was inadequate for battle, and she was not a Hobbit. The possession of stealth and remaining unseen was not in favor of her more human traits, even if she was on the short side; it was presumptuous of her to think she would go unseen. 

A circling warg had spotted her during her sneaking and made a loud, “everybody look here!” lunge and snarl. With her cover blown and her plan destroyed, she aimed her weapon at its head, Y/N thrusted her sword deep into its mouth as it closed in close to her face with all her strength, even though her bruised arm was screaming in agony. The warg yelped and whimpered in pain until her steel pierced its brain, silencing the beast. 

Azog, momentarily distracted from Bilbo, indifferently looked over at her. Unimpressed. Thorin tilted his head up and saw her, calling out her name in alarm and only then did Azog crack an amused smile before he refocused on him struggling for breath from the aftermath of becoming his mount’s chew toy. 

Azog uncaringly muttered something in whatever language he spoke and one of the Orcs broke away and gunned for her while the other targeted Bilbo. 

Confused, terrified, and high on adrenaline, Y/N’s mind resigned to her failure. _ Well, fuck, I guess this is it, _ she thought before an Orc made a swing at her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> irakdashat - nephew in Khuzdul
> 
> I’m not really one who enjoys writing certain scenes of the film word for word in the chapters, but I felt it was a little required for this particular one. I originally intended to skip the dialogue with the goblin scene, but couldn't pass up the opportunity to add in a Jack Sparrow quote 'cause I thought it'd be funny. >:3


	19. A Different Kind Of Human

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're coming up to that wacky date range before the Company gets to Beorn's -- I had a timeline set aside somewhere, but can't really find it. Some important events are going to be going down very soon in the time it takes the Company to reach their bear host. I know I have it somewhere, but off hand, does anyone know how long it takes for the group to get to Beorn's? (ie. is it done in days or weeks?) I haven't read the book in its entirety and the films don't really depict the timeline very well, but I know it takes them some time to actually get there. 
> 
> Anyhoo. Enjoy this longer than usual chapter and excuse any mistakes I may have missed during editing! <3
> 
> NSFW-ish content is in this chapter!

“The lass has a death wish…” 

It was the only thing that made sense to him as Balin watched the suicidal duo go charging onward after Thorin. The lads were calling Thorin’s and Y/N’s name in blatant concern and Balin’s heart fell the moment her feet touched the ground knowing that she didn’t stand a chance against their foes. It was as if Balin’s worst fears were manifesting right before his eyes: Azog was back from the presumably dead, Thorin was used as a warg’s chew toy and might very well die tonight, Bilbo would most likely perish defending him, and Y/N… oh gods, Mahal’s elected chosen Savior and Guardian of the Durin line had just been swung at by an Orc that she was taking head on, alone.

He almost couldn't watch, but he was transfixed by a morbid need to see it. As if at any moment it all would just be a figment of his imagination. Y/N managed to stab the Orc in the chest, effectively killing it, but another one was quick to replace their fallen comrade. 

It was astounding… towards the beginning of their journey when they were first ambushed by Orcs, Y/N had merely stood rooted in place in fear. And now, after being given a weapon and some training and practice with it and without a second thought, Y/N’s first instinct was to uphold her god sent duty even though it was obvious how terrified she still was. Not that Balin had any doubt, but her noble heart in the face of consistent danger had awed and moved him into high respect. And Bilbo… the little fellow who had naught but his “letter opener” and no training at all was standing over Thorin, daring the Orcs to come claim him.

“What in the Void am I doing in this tree?” Balin said to himself. Emboldened by Y/N and Bilbo’s act of bravery, the rest of them who were not dangling off of the branches seemed to get the same idea and rallied behind them, raising their weapons and emitting their battle cries to join in and help.

If two people, who could hardly use their sword properly, were willing to put their lives on the line just to protect the Company’s king, then the least these old warriors could do was show their face and support their friends.

“Protect the lass!” Balin called to Dwalin as he saw him run by. He complied without any hesitation.

* * * * *

Red. 

That was all Fili saw. He’d never been filled with such battle fire before, but now he could understand that powerful, uncontrollable drive that some warriors experienced before their big fight; it was how he could fully understand why Thorin just up and charged straight to Azog just then when he thought it was a reckless move. And now his uncle was struck down, with Bilbo valiantly defending him on his own, and Y/N was on her back holding her sword up to shield her face from the Orc filth’s weapon from slicing it open. But it had its strength on its side; sooner or later, her arms would not be able to match as it pressed harder and harder down. Which was evident as they continued to bend.

Red… 

Fili was furious that he wouldn’t make it in time as his powerful thighs ate up the distance between them, but Dwalin had reached Y/N first, slicing half of the Orc’s head clean off before helping her back on her feet. 

Now that danger was no longer a threat to his One, Fili placed his focus on every enemy that crossed his path as he went under pure annihilation mode. 

He could hear nothing from his friends around him, nor the snarls of the wargs, or the battle cries of the Orc scum. Fili could only hear the pounding of his heart in his ears and his heavy breath when he filled his lungs with air while he exerted himself in fighting.

As he threw his throwing axes and used his sword during his retrievals, Fili thought, _ This is what I’ve been training for. _

An Orc astride a brown pelted warg barreled into Fili’s side and he yanked out a hidden dagger to drive it into the beast’s skull. Once the mount was down for the count, Fili circled around and drove his sword deep into the Orc’s chest before yanking his weapon out with fervor. Blood spurted from its open cavity, hands clutching uselessly to keep it closed as its black eyes rolled up into its head before keeling over. 

_ This is why Thorin pushed me so hard as a child. To prepare for situations like this. _

Fili threw a glance at his fallen kin and felt the rage ignite inside of him again once more. _ This is also why Amad didn’t want Kili and me to come along with him, _ Fili thought. _ But if not us… who else could Thorin rely on? _

No calm came to him as he ranked up his kill count, but they were sorely outnumbered. And every time he even thought he heard Y/N cry out, Dwalin was there at her side instantly. She was the only source of clarity for Fili during his red-filled sight and biological impulse to remove the danger in the vicinity.

The only other thing that snapped him out of it were the calls of birds that seemed to creep in out of nowhere. Large, massive eagles came out of the sky in flocks, swooping dangerously low. 

Fili tensed and readied his throwing axes after ripping them from a fresh Orc corpse. 

Fili looked around, straining to see if the eagles were hostile or friendly, but only saw that all of the birds were targeting their foes and hoisting the Company out of the battlefield and away to Mahal knows where. An eagle came straight at him before he could react, talons opened like eager hands, and tossed him over the cliff.

He landed with a sharp yelp on a passing eagle that had Kili on it as they flew swiftly away. Fili turned behind him with panicked eyes, “Where’s Y/N?! Did you see her? Is she safe?”

Kili’s widened eyes met his own as a perplexed response came shaking out of him, “I-I don’t know! Everything happened so quickly, we all got snatched up!” 

Fili looked around at the other eagles, trying to do a headcount of the Company to see if anyone was left behind. But it was too dark and the eagles were spread too far apart to call for her or see properly. 

“Y/N…” Fili whimpered as he slumped forward on the bird’s neck, feeling Kili’s hand clasp him on the shoulder as his own dug into the feathers of the eagle’s neck. 

“Last I saw, Dwalin was guarding her,” Kili told him softly. “He wouldn’t let anything touch her, I’m sure she’s fine.”

“It should have been me guarding her… I’m her protector. _ I’m _ supposed to be looking after her,” Fili demurred. He felt Kili squeeze his shoulder harder and press against him in a backwards hug meant more for the both of them than mainly for Fili's comfort. 

“I know, but we had to help Thorin… he’s our kin,” he added more gently. It wasn’t that he didn’t see the importance of keeping Y/N safe, but Thorin was the one was in more mortal peril than she was. He struggled to comprehend where Fili was coming from. 

“And she’s my One!” Fili returned sourly. _ Y/N comes first, _ he finished to himself. “You don’t understand, Kee. I’m bound to her in a means that you cannot fathom! If something happened to her... When you find yours, you’ll know what this feels like. Mahal, even I’m having difficulty dealing with these intense emotions.”

Kili remained quiet. That was always a tender topic for him, since Kili seemed keen on the notion that he’d never find his One. Being constantly snickered at and bullied by dwarrows and dwarrowdams alike, Kili’s exuberant personality made up for his false impression of being unattractive. 

Fili believed in his brother; he had such a big, noble heart and would give the lassies a run for their coin when his beard grew in. But it would be preferable for Kili to find love before all that. For someone to love him for him. Whether or not he fit the typical Dwarven norm. 

But that aside, Fili’s main focus was on Y/N and the thick fear that was choking him on not knowing where she was or even how she was. Why did he get so wrapped up in killing Orcs? He should have just switched with Dwalin, but at the time… he wanted to eliminate as much of the threat as he could. Fili wasn’t sure if that was a good call or not now that he had a clear head.

Something that was always instilled in him as a child was the “strain of madness” that ran in his family line. Thorin told him how it clouded his great grandfather’s judgement and how his grandfather also was easily triggered by madness. It roused a deep fear in him and he vowed that he would never put himself in a situation where he’d lose his head. Thorin seemed fine. His mother was fine. Yet just now with the uncontrollable rage… was that the response his body leapt to in order to protect his One or was it the beginnings of that sickness? Was there or any difference or line differentiating the two? He made a mind to talk to Thorin about it sometime when they finally landed. Even though Fili’s biology focused his concerns on his One, Fili also was heavily worried for Thorin. His uncle could handle anything, and to see him struck down like that... it scared him to bits. 

Azog was more of a threat than he thought. 

As the eagles flew long into the night and as daybreak pierced the sky before his eyes, Fili didn’t catch a wink of rest. Kili seemed to struggle with sleep, too, only dozing in and out and occasionally borrowing Fili's shoulder as a pillow or holding him for comfort. 

But with the golden rays lighting up the sky, now he could see the eagles more clearly. He also was able to recognize who was where, mostly. He spotted his uncle lying lifelessly in one of the eagle’s talons directly in front of him and he felt another prickle of fear ripply through him.

“Thorin!” he shouted, hoping to receive some type of response that he was all right but nothing came. He began to fear the worst.

* * *

White. 

_ So much white, _ Thorin thought to himself as he took in his surroundings. He followed a pathway down a pristine, ubiquitous space devoid of any and all color. The sky was white, the ground was white; everywhere was white. 

His mind was as foggy as what fluttered around him.

_ What was I doing before this? _ Suddenly remembering that he was in the midst of battle, Thorin looked down at himself and patted around for injuries. He felt nothing but contempt and neutrality. It was as if his injuries had vanished. In his armor’s stead, he wore simple white trousers and a soft white tunic that no matter how much it wrinkled, it would fall back into place in its perfection. 

_ What is this place? _ He wondered idly. Through the vast nothingness, he did understand innately that there was a destination at the end of the pathway, and the closer he ventured, he knew that he would not be able to return once he crossed whatever threshold presented itself. 

In the distance he saw a figure running towards him out of the fog. Thorin did not feel threatened, but he stopped nonetheless since they seemed desperate for him to go no further. 

His vision was much more keen and vivid here, and as the figure drew closer, Thorin’s eyes widened in shock and recognition. He ran to meet them, only to be stopped in his tracks again by them waving profusely for him to halt. Thorin did so, cocking his head in confusion. 

“Brother!” he called. 

_ Go back! _ Frerin demanded, though Thorin could not physically hear his voice, he heard him in his head just as clearly. Mahal, he looked just as he remembered him before… The two of them looked so similar. Dark wavy hair, dark beards, same physique, same temperament. If it weren’t for their differences in age, one would think they were twins, only Frerin styled his hair and beard differently than Thorin did. _ Go back, it is not your time yet! _

“Am I dead?” Thorin questioned, clutching at his tunic. 

_ Not yet, brother. Your Hobbit saw to that. _

“Hobbit… Bilbo…? Ah, I remember. He was defending me from… from Azog,” Thorin recalled in a dreamlike daze. This realm made him feel as if he were waltzing between that place of sleep and awakeness. He wasn’t sure what was real and what wasn’t; where he lived first, where he belonged. The Orc’s face resurfaced in his mind and Thorin took a step back. His mind was clearing, feeling an urge to get out of there. In the corners of his mind, he thought he heard someone from far away speaking to him. 

“Azog! He lives!” Thorin looked over his shoulder, seeing nothing but the endless path he was walking on. He made a start in that direction knowing he had to finish what he set out to do but hesitated, turning back around for another look at his brother. 

Frerin smiled warmly at him from several feet away. He was wearing the same clothing as Thorin had on and he couldn’t help the longing tug in his heart to be reunited with him once again. Thorin was overcome by an urge to press his forehead against his brother’s and embrace him tightly. It has been so long since he saw him alive and well. There were so many things he wanted to say, to ask. But nothing fell from his trembling lips. He knew this wasn't the time. 

Thorin felt an unpleasant jolt go through his body. He grasped at his breast at the beginnings of a phantom pain surge through him. There were gibberish words echoing around him that sounded like a sort of spell and he was drawn to it, knowing he must follow. 

"I have to go. They need me," Thorin explained. 

As another jolt coursed through him, his brother, Frerin, imparted some last words. 

_ Until we meet again. _

* * *

The Dwarves stood around Thorin’s body hoping that Gandalf could work his magic to revive him. Meanwhile Y/N was experiencing a pulsing ache all over. Her thigh was on fire and her arm was howling in pain, so she tied a scrap of her cloak around it to stop the bleeding and hoped it would quell soon. Fili was at her side the instant the eagle dropped him and Kili off on the platform. 

His eyes scanned her from head to toe and he repressed the urge to snatch her into his arms and instead let his eyes do the talking for him. Worry, relief, fatigue. Joy. 

Y/N smiled at him and then at Kili. “Some ride, huh?”

“Ugh, you have no idea…” Fili whispered just loud enough for her to catch. One by one as space allowed, the eagles dropped off the remainder of the Company, Y/N didn’t have a chance to respond.

Kili smirked, “It was rough. But I’m glad to see you well and good! How’s it feel to have taken down an Orc?”

She shuttered dramatically. “We mustn’t speak of such things. It’s way too soon.”

Any further conversation was cut off when Thorin finally opened his eyes and everyone looked on with relaxed grins. Fili and Kili moved closer to their uncle once they noticed that he’d roused. 

"The halfling?" Thorin asked Gandalf weakly, disoriented. 

Gandalf sighed in relief and canted his head in Bilbo’s general direction. "It's all right, Bilbo is here. He's quite safe!"

Thorin relaxes before his eyes widen, remembering the sight of the Orc swinging at Y/N before he collapsed into unconsciousness. He gasps and struggles to lift himself, "The girl!"

Gandalf raised his hand to calm him. "Y/N is also safe."

"Right here!" she chimed in while Thorin wobbled to his feet as Dwalin and Kili assisted him. Thorin’s eyes landed on Bilbo, the only person in his direct line of sight. 

"You! What were you doing? You nearly got yourself killed!" Thorin stalked his way towards him and Bilbo's expression flickered into a state of confusion and hurt. Y/N fought back her grin during this very adverse, serious moment while her friends merely stared between them baffled and afronted by Thorin's seemingly harsh discourse with their Hobbit. 

This part of her dream never failed to make her eyes water when Bilbo had finally earned Thorin's trust and acceptance. She always felt that it was a long time coming, and now with having the ability to actually travel beside them, it was much longer than she thought it was than when she dreamed of this in the past. The energy among them was unprecedented and powerful. 

Fili and Kili exchanged looks and she bit her lip to stop from grinning. Telling herself to hold it together. 

"Did I not say that you would be a burden, that you would not survive in the wild? That you had no place amongst us. I have never been so wrong in all my life," Thorin breathed as he enveloped a stunned Bilbo Baggins into his grateful hold. 

Annnd cue the waterworks. 

Y/N sniffed and quickly dabbed at her eyes before anyone could see, clearing her throat for good measure. Nothing wrong here! If anyone asks, she got dust in her eye. Way up on this mountain top-thing. Feather dander, if you will. God, the look of pure, innocent joy in Bilbo’s eyes was enough to make her want to sob at the tenderness of it all. But she kept her cool. Mostly.

"I am sorry I doubted you," Thorin added sincerely once he pulled away. 

Y/N's respect for him bloomed anew. What made a great king in her eyes was the ability to be humble; to not only admit your wrongs, but to apologize for them. He had done this not just for Bilbo, but for her as well. Y/N smiled freely at them as her friends shared some backslaps and huzzahs at their exchange. 

"And you, Y/N," Thorin added, now turning towards her while the eagles flew off. She gave a tentative step forward, trying to mask her limp. She was curious as to what else he needed to include and hoped that whatever it was, it wouldn’t bring her to tears or else she wouldn’t be able to stop crying once she started. 

"You are either the most bravest woman I know or the most reckless one I have ever met." Coupled with an eyeroll, Y/N barked out a tired giggle. "I should have listened to you from the start… I am also sorry for doubting your abilities, and also very thankful that Mahal chose you. Please continue to watch over and guide us."

Before she could form a full thought, he then pulled her into an unexpected, tender hug that she did not expect to receive. She stiffened at first but gradually melted into his arms. As a gentlemanly gesture, and due to their height difference, he had to turn his head so that her breasts weren't pressed right into the front of his face. This firm, friendly hug lingered on a little longer than Bilbo's did but eventually he pulled away and smiled warmly before turning his attention back to Bilbo. She felt a flicker of, well, something budding in her chest after his gaze left her.

_ Ba-bump. _

Y/N blushed and hoped beyond all hope that Thorin didn't hear how hard her heart was pounding in his strong, warm embrace. But she was sure that he had. Shit, Bilbo’s must have been hammering away, too, from his own shock, so maybe he thought nothing of it. The fact that Thorin had actually hugged her—willingly and of his own accord—had short circuited Y/N’s brain so that she couldn’t quite form coherent thoughts or sentences. _ Huh, must be what a 404 error felt like, _ she thought with grim amusement. 

_ Ba-bump. _

She tried to attribute the rising temperature under skin to nerves, but she had a hunch that wasn't altogether true. _No, don't tell me that I actually like _both _of them like that? _ She couldn’t help but dread. Is that even possible, liking two people at once? Y/N could still feel Thorin’s warmth on her and the tickle of his hair under her nose well after all the attention was diverted from them and refocused on Erebor out in the distance. _ Maybe it was due to not sharing an actual hug-hug with anyone for the last few months, _ she concluded. But Y/N still tried to ignore the little flurries igniting in her chest as she aimed to distract herself with an eyeful of the great mountain out yonder that they were all here for and not Thorin pressed up against her, wrapped in his arms. 

"A raven! The birds are returning to the mountain," Oin exclaimed as that snitchin' ass bird fluttered by. Y/N glared at it, wondering if it would have been worth it to preemptively ask Kili to ready his bow and strike it down. Too late now. The thrush chirped cheerfully and fluttered on its merry way, sending a message to a giant drake that lay coiled in slumber beneath a bed of stolen jewels and gold. 

"We will take it as a sign. A good omen," Thorin smiled with a sort of optimism that made Y/N feel all the worse about how wrong he was. 

Bilbo returned his smile and nodded confidently. "You're right, I do believe the worst is behind us."

As her stomach settled into a wave of unease in this ocean of trouble, Y/N didn’t have the heart to break it to them just yet that there were much more atrocities waiting for them in the future. But now was not the time to dwell on such misfortunes; at Thorin’s positive outlook, everyone looked to Y/N with rose-colored assurance that she had no choice but to mirror with farce. 

She foresaw many future talks with Thorin to discuss this and decided to just take it all one day at a time. For now, they deserved to have a moment of peace. 

"Well, time to start makin' our way down!" Gloin announced with a sharp clap. Thorin gave him the affirmation to proceed. 

“Don’t know about you all, but I’m ready to raid, pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer my weasley black guts out!” Bofur winked cheekily to Y/N in passing, earning her a few chuckles.

“How in the world did ya come up with _ that _of all things?” Dwalin questioned more in bewilderment than puzzlement. Others chimed in with their own interest in the matter now that that horror was something they could laugh about. 

Y/N moved to her spot in the line that was forming to climb down the stone stairs winding around the side of the platform and gave him a shrug. “It’s a quote from a character named Captain Jack Sparrow from a popular pirate story.”

“A pirate story?!” Ori and Nori perked up from the back like excited children. “I’d like to hear it!”

"Me too!"

Dwalin snapped his head around before he descended the stairway. “Oi! She hasn’t even finished Galavant yet!”

As everyone made a move to follow after Gloin who led the way down, Y/N caught sight of the eagles growing smaller and smaller in the distance of the morning sky before she started down the steps after Dwalin. 

"Hey, Gandalf..." She started slowly as she came to a rather irked realization. "Any particular reason why the eagles dropped us off here and not, say, the rest of the way?"

* * * * *

Kili knew without a shred of a doubt that, although he was hastily assured that he wasn’t, that Fili was bothered. He knew based on how quiet he was. Fili was usually very reserved in most cases, but it was the way he was quiet that Kili picked up on.

Thorin hugged Y/N in front of everyone and that was definitely the source of Fili’s concern, but surely given all that just transpired that he would understand there was nothing more to it. He was thanking Bilbo and Y/N for their brave actions! Bilbo received a hug, too!

But either Fili didn't seem to think so, was jealous because he could not freely hug Y/N himself, or there was more to it that Kili just didn't understand. As he was told earlier… he hadn’t found his One yet, so he wouldn’t be able to fully comprehend what Fili was going through. 

Gods, he hoped they ended up together just to put an end to all of Fili’s pining and worry. Kili was certain that she would accept him, but Fili’s frustrations about it all were starting to rub off on him. Why does he feel so compelled to stick with that silly plan of his? If Y/N was Kili’s One, he would have just pulled her aside and told her how he felt, praying that she felt the same, and then move forward from there. Together. Making their own plans. 

But for some reason, Fili seemed convinced that he had to “follow the plan”. Maybe that was just another thing about this whole One business that he couldn’t understand. 

And given how topsy turvy the events had been laid out for Fili’s progression to ask for courtship, it wasn’t exactly a situation one should lust after. The time wasn’t favorable and given the circumstances with the quest, romance would be far from anybody’s mind. And yet… Kili felt himself wanting to get tangled up in that web of confusion that was love, too. To climb that formidable mountain and take a giant leap headfirst into the unknown. 

He and Fili always were pretty different in that regard. A prime example was how they entered the water before swimming. Fili had to test it with his toe first before diving in, whereas Kili just made a running start and welcomed the surprise of the water’s temperature. Fili studied and prepared, Kili followed his heart and asked questions later. 

Neither’s traits were right or wrong, just very different and was why they made such a great team. Kili always overheard his mother exclaiming to Thorin how Kili was so like him in his youth and how Fili was more like their father. Who, as far as his Amad had explained, was the sweetest, most handsome, golden-haired fellow she ever met. Her eyes were always so sad when she spoke of his father. Kili was much too young to remember him.

_ “When did you know you were Adad’s One, mam?” Kili asked her one day. _

_ “I knew since the day he gave me this,” she answered, pulling out the pretty smooth stone. _

Kili thumbed that very runestone she gifted him on the day he and Fili left with Thorin for the journey. His promise to her, on her most precious item… his father’s token of love to his One. He wondered what Fili was going to do now that his courting gift was left in a goblin horde. With no supplies with them save for the clothes on their backs and their coin purses, he couldn't craft anything. _Shame,_ he thought. _Y/N would have loved that scarf._

During the steep climb down, Kili's thoughts were running rampant and he relived a lot of unpleasant memories revolving all the disinterest at his expense during social gatherings. He yearned for a special someone to worry about and care for; longed for somebody who would accept him for who he was and give him secret smiles, share pinky promises with, and stay up all night talking about everything and nothing. 

In times like these, Kili was jealous of his brother for having found his life mate already. He was happy for him—truly, he was!—but so, so very jealous. 

How much longer would he need to wait before he found his other half? When Dwarves relocated back to Erebor? After passing someone by in her halls on his way to a meeting? At Fili and Y/N’s wedding party? Every day seemed like a lifetime of waiting. Kili sighed, resigning once more to a life where he would die alone before anyone would fathom the idea of loving him. 

* * * * *

When the Company safely got back to ground level again, there was a resounding case of the “ahhhs!” among them. Green grass, a soft, cool breeze, and a land devoid of Orcs blessed them on this beautiful morning. They were not on the run, they could finally be at ease and catch their breath in a rare moment of sanctuary. With Gandalf among them, they felt ever safer and at peace. 

As they all spoke about relieving themselves and seeing about finding some breakfast, Bofur did a couple stretches to snap and pop his arm joints and back, swinging his body left and right before he noticed that something was wrong. He snapped back and staggered over in concern. 

“Y/N, you’re hurt!” 

Startled at his own startled tone, her eyes whipped down to the only place she knew he could be referencing and, alas, her makeshift bandage had sure enough been bled through somehow. Even though she tied it tightly enough. The gash in her leg needed some professional tending to, it seemed, as well as her sore arm, which only served to exacerbate the soreness even further from her having to fend off the Orc using all the strength she had while on her back.

She sent a silent thanks to Dwalin once more for that, but the stare he returned was more annoyed than anything. He knew well before this that she wasn’t “just fine” as she claimed. 

Fili immediately went to her aid to check how badly she was injured, but stopped mid stride when Thorin got to her first, dropping down to observe the dark red patch. 

“Oin, could you come take a look? Why did you say nothing?” Thorin chided her, as if she were daft. 

“Cor, lass!” Nori and some of the others exclaimed when they ventured closer for a good look themselves. Wasting no time at all, Dori fetched a needle and thread from out of his beard in case it needed stitching and Y/N recoiled just at the thought of being poked and prodded at with a sewing needle. 

“Well, it’s not like I had a good time to bring it up! One of the goblins stabbed me and then we had to run from Orcs and climb a tree...” she let the rest of the explanation drift unfinished with the obvious events that followed after. Thorin pursed his lips.

“You should have said something earlier while it was safe,” he managed to bite out in stark disapproval. 

Since all of their remaining belongings, save for their weapons, were lost forever in the goblin town, Oin didn’t have any of his healing supplies with him, but knelt down to investigate the sensitive wound on her thigh to see what the damage was and what was needed to mend her properly. 

“Are ye hurt anywhere else, Y/N?” he asked her as he carefully unwrapped her makeshift wrapping and padded around the opening. She gave a small wince, feeling a few sparks of pain.

“Um, I bruised my arm a while back.” She hissed when she gave it an experimental squeeze and added very timidly, “Well, I _ hope _it’s a bruise.”

“Let’s see it,” he grunted as he stood. Oin was very diligent, gentle, and professional during his examination. Everyone agreed that they could use this time to relieve themselves and have their own wounds tended to during this reprieve but allowed Y/N to be looked at first. Thorin hadn’t given any other orders yet as far as if they were to rest or travel; his focus was on the girl. And as long as he saw fit, Fili didn’t let her out of his sight either. 

“Well!” Oin announced once he finished. Y/N waited anxiously for the result of his thorough diagnosis and hoped that nothing was worse than it appeared. The thought of being stitched up made her sick to her stomach, and if she had any broken bones she wasn’t sure how it would be able to heal properly given the unpredictability of the quest. She knew she was probably coming off as a big wuss, but she didn’t care. 

“Luckily, it isn’t broken or sprained. Just took a good blow to it is all; hasn’t even swelled up, so that’s a very good sign! Try keeping it as relaxed as ye can, no heavy lifting! It should feel right as rain in a couple days.”

Y/N let out a sigh of relief until he pointed down to her thigh, “As for that, I’ll need to clean that out and stitch it together so that it closes properly—”

“No!” Y/N whined in dread, slumping her disgruntled weight on her good leg. “Can’t we just wrap it up or something?”

Oin pegged her with a very doctor-like stare. “Lass… we’ll be doin’ quite a bit of walkin’ and if that isn’t closed up proper, it will scar and stay open and heal that way. Ye want a permanent, wee mouth on yer thigh?”

She pouted, her mind torn between sound logic and the illogical fear of being sutured up like a living doll. Even though the question was obviously rhetorical, she felt the need to answer, “No…”

Dori stepped forward and handed Oin the needle and thread and Gandalf stepped forward to offer his waterskin. She looked to him with wild eyes as a last resort for help. “Gandalf, can’t you heal this with magic or something?”

He smiled down at her fondly. “I am afraid Oin’s aptitude with healing far outweighs my own.”

“But you brought Thorin back to life!” Y/N gestured desperately. Thorin crossed his arms at her side, his bright blue eyes flash with something akin to mirth at her desperation to stall the inevitable. All the while he was only vaguely able to recall a world bathed in white. The memory seemed so far off from him, like the dream of a dream. 

The wizard only shook his head.

“I merely beckoned his spirit back to his body, he followed my voice on his own; I did not bring him back. I only showed him the way.”

Y/N closed her eyes and let out another childish whine. She had no choice but to give in to her fate. The Dwarves all seemed very indifferent about her needing stitches, as if it happened every day for them. And where that may be true for people of this world who lived more on the wild side, Y/N was certainly not as prepared for the dangers like she thought she was. It was too much to wish for that there was something they could use to numb the area first, but something told her she would be fully awake and alert to experience stitch by painful, gross stitch. 

Oin continued cleaning and preparing her gash for sewing in concentrated silence and practiced precision before requesting that she sit to get comfortable. Yeah, right. She complied reluctantly with an annoyed plop and “hmph!” and Oin cut additional trouser leg pieces to expose more of her skin. She dared a glance downward and grimaced at the sight and hissed at the water as it hit the sensitive flesh, puckered and pinkened, slicked with blood in the inside. 

Thorin raised a critical eyebrow at her paling face. “Have you never been sutured up before?”

Y/N threw him an obvious look. “It would have been nice to be numbed first,” she hinted heavily, hoping someone might miraculously have something to help ease the pricking sensation she was about to endure. “I’m scared… it’s gonna hurt!”

Thorin gave her a look of pure appall. “You faced an Orc one on one by yourself and getting sewn is what frightens you?”

Y/N pointed a flinty, shaking finger up at him doing her best to appear composed and unafraid. And failing miserably. “I. Don’t. Like. Needles! Look, I know it’s a stupid thing to be scared of, but I just don’t like it! It’s creepy! I’ve never had stitches before.”

“That’s all right, lass!” Bofur interjected, returning from his bathroom break to join in. “I’m afraid of witchcraft and dark magic!”

Others visibly shuddered in agreement with him.

“It’ll sting,” Oin warned her, threading the needle that looked way too long and way too sharp for Y/N’s liking. He kept going, all business as usual, undeterred while everyone chimed in with their own comments. 

“I’m afraid of bats,” Ori added, trying to help.

“Oh, I know,” Nori snickered evilly. The comment was clearly an indicator of all the numerous bat pranks he invoked throughout Ori’s life. It resulted all three Ri brothers into a rather harmless brotherly spat.

Dwalin sniffed and crossed his arms. “I’m not scared of anythin’.” Thorin smirked at him, knowing that was far beyond true. Dwalin’s fear was talking to beautiful dwarrowdams, but he let him keep that secret private. 

Bilbo decided to join in, too. “I’m afraid of adventuring.”

The Dwarves stopped what they were doing and turned their heads his way in unison, Gandalf merely looked on with an amused twinkle in his eye. Bilbo lifted his hands defensively and chuckled. “What? I faced them, didn’t I? That’s partly why I went on this adventure in the first place.”

“That’s the spirit!” Bofur pointed happily before facing Y/N again with renewed enthusiasm. “Face yer fears! Today is the day ye conquer yer fear of needles.”

“Here, here!” they all cheered with positive reinforcement they hoped would be enough to uplift her. Y/N jumped like she was electrocuted when Oin placed a gentle hand on her knee to steady her. 

“Ready?” Oin asked her. 

No. 

Y/N eyed the needle between his fingers and felt her face pale. Nope. She was so far beyond ready. Was this truly the only alternative they had? Weren’t butterfly stitches a thing here? Or some magic mushrooms she could ingest to nullify her sense of feeling? God, just the thought of seeing the needle pierce her skin, winding through her flesh as blood speckled out of the gash wound, with her not knowing how long it would last, was enough to make her feel faint. 

There’s an idea. Maybe someone could just knock her out the good old fashioned way. She doubted she would have any takers, however, so she quickly trashed that brilliant thought. Oin remained poised above the wound and gave her a certain nonverbal signal that he was going in. 

“I think I’m gonna be sick…” she grumbled, turning her face away so that she didn’t have to look. A few of them took a couple paces backwards in response to that comment. 

“Here, take my hand,” Fili smiled, appearing at her side out of nowhere-land like the knight in shining armor that he was. “When Kili and I were younger, he got into all sorts of scrapes—”

“Oh, Mahal, did he ever,” Thorin groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose before handing her a scrap of leather to bite down on. She tried to remain calm, but she couldn’t help the panic rising up. She had begun shaking and Fili’s hand remained clasped firmly in hers as his other hand gripped her forearm to give her some deflecting strokes to focus her attention elsewhere.

“—and he often needed some stitching up, too.”

“Goin’ in soon,” she heard Oin say while she felt him open up the hole in her trousers and pat more dried and fresh blood away. She meant to watch, her morbid curiosity getting the best of her in hopes that she could just pass out and wake up later when it was all over, but Fili squeezed her hand to force her to keep looking at him as he continued speaking to her. Thorin and Kili appeared in her view next to validate other points of the story Fili was telling regarding a certain instance when Kili got caught in a pricker bush trying to hunt what he thought was a rabbit that kept ruining their mother’s garden.

It was an absolute chore for Y/N to ignore the first pierce and tug, even with Fili gripping and massaging up and down her forearm. A few whines and whimpers choked in her throat and she squeezed Fili’s hand more to release the pain than for comfort. He didn’t let go. 

Fili had done this for Kili numerous times when he had to get sewn, but Y/N’s skin was far more delicate than a Dwarf’s. Far more fragile. 

“—only then did he realize, and this was after the pricker pods were lodged all over his trousers and bare feet, that it was a _ boar _the entire time,” Fili finished with a laugh, looking to Thorin. “Do you remember? He was chased for miles and all we heard was Kili and the boar squealing up and down the hills.”

Y/N felt the next incision point followed by than long, tug of the thread and her grip tightened like a vise around Fili’s palm while she bit down on the leather strap hard enough to make her teeth ache. 

“Gods, how could I. That was the last time you ventured out without your boots on,” Thorin said pointedly to Kili, recalling the many occasions both he, and Dis, had told him not to forget his boots while he so often conveniently “forgot”.

Kili’s face was tinged with just the slightest bit of pink and he giggled innocently, he brushed the fringe of his hair back from the shame of his youth as the others doubled over in laughter. 

“Aye, that was certainly a learning experience for me!”

Fili faced Y/N with a warm smile, trying to ease her through the pain by distracting her with the visuals of having to sit Kili down for two hours painstakingly removing every pricker pod off of him, including his bottom. 

“I called him Pricker Bum for weeks afterward,” he chuckled to her after she cracked the faintest hint of a smile. 

“Pricker Bum Kili!” Bofur echoed as he literally rolled on the ground howling with laughter, his legs up and kicking the air. 

Kili’s boot connected to Bofur’s bum in response as his retaliation. “It’s not that funny!” he pouted at everyone who obviously thought otherwise. 

“Almost done,” Oin’s calm voice told her in between his own chuckles at Fili’s story. Though she appreciated their trying to help by making her laugh, it was hard not to focus on the throbbing pain in her thigh as it swelled in protest to the needle and thread. 

“You’re doing great,” Fili whispered to her with a supportive smile. 

“It hurts!” Words muffled into the strap locked in her teeth. 

Kili looked her over in concern. It seemed their attempt to distract her wasn’t working as they hoped. Kili peeked over her sitting form to see how much longer they had, and Oin was only a quarter of the way through. It wouldn’t take him long to finish, but he had to work slowly since the sewing needle he had was not meant for sewing skin back together and the way she was sliced open had to be sewn in a tricky way. 

“It’s not helping, is it, trying to make you laugh?” Kili asked her, dejected. 

She continued flinching through the pain and could only manage a shrug. “Sorry,” she mumbled, which came out as a sad little “phary” through the leather. 

“Fart?” Oin piped up indignantly. “I didn’t fart, lass…”

Fili cracked a smile that made his nose wrinkly cutely, “No, Oin. She said sor—”

“Oooh! I got a fart story for ya!” Bofur perked up as he rolled up to standing, raising his hand and giddily making his way through. Y/N widened her eyes and shook her head, not in the mood for anything involving flatulence. But Bofur seemed so excited and eager to share it. And it's not like she had any say at the moment. 

“Don’t ya worry, this will cheer ya right up and distract ya from that long needle sliding in and out through yer skin over and over again!”

Y/N growled at his unintentional, but still unhelpful, indelicacy. 

“All right, Y/N, let me tell you about a little something that happened to me on the way to the mines; possibly the most embarrassin’ moment of my life—”

Bilbo shuffled uncomfortably in place, not trusting that devilish grin of his in the slightest. “Bofur, are you sure this is a fit story to share with an, ahem, _ lady_?”

“—I was about to step down onto the shaft,” he paused and waved an uncaring hand at him. “Lad, she and I have shared jokes naughty enough to make a troll blush. Now pipe down, this is a hoot, you’ll love it!” 

Rolling his eyes and shaking his head in doubt, Bilbo crossed his arms with a sigh but decided to stay and hear it anyway. Even though his topics were always questionable, Bofur was a very gifted storyteller and never failed to bring a smile to his face. 

Now very intrigued in anticipation, and more adequately distracted from the stinging agony in her thigh, Y/N focused on Bofur with renewed interest. There was no telling what gory details of the story he was about to share, but odds were he would succeed in averting her attention.

“Laddie,” Balin added, much to Bofur’s dismay. “Are ye _sure_ this is appropriate,” he canted his head towards Y/N while keeping his eyes on him, thinking she didn’t catch it and her chest flared in defiance. 

“Let him tell the story,” Thorin indulged patiently. Y/N looked so invested and any form of diversion to her discomfort was needed. 

Balin shrugged and kept quiet. By now Bofur had garnered the intrigued and attention of everyone in the Company who huddled around him like he was a performer, making sure Y/N and Oin had their space for him to complete the sutures on her. 

“Thank you, Thorin! Now where was I… oh, yes! I’m riding my way down the mine shaft, and there’s always ten stops on the way down and my tunnel was at the very bottom. At the third stop, this rather ‘robust’ fellow steps in and while the lift descends I see him adjust his stance at the corner of my eye like this.” He gets up to demonstrate the position, leaning slightly over to the side. “I could tell right off the bat what he was planning to do.”

He paused very briefly to gauge Y/N's still-interested response and swiftly continued with comical charm that only he could pull off. 

“I can tell he’s plannin’ to sneak a toot in all stealth-like. Mind you, lass, we’re stuck in the mines for hours all day confined together in a tight space with no airway, so when a storm starts a-brewin’—” he rubbed his stomach for emphasis "—we don’t exactly get the chance to let loose until lunch or the day’s work is over. And so, due to reasons known only to Mahal, instead of a sneaky, silent one, he unleashes a thunderous blast with enough force to make the shaft shake; it sounded as if it came from the heavens themselves! And there were some odd stresses and intonation patterns to it, too.” 

Bofur did his best to replicate the sound, using his whole body—arms, knees, wiggly elbows, and floppy hat flaps—to participate in the range of movement. Tears pooled in her eyes, a mixture of the pain and humor welling up and releasing. 

For whatever reason, farts and belches seemed to be a very popular go-to anecdote for male Dwarves, devolving them from hard, study, manly males into cackling, immature children who would giggle up a storm just for hearing a raspberry. Y/N should have known how the story would affect them, and although she didn’t particularly share in the infantile level of hilarity that fart jokes and fart stories offer, the way that Bofur was telling it coupled with how hearty the others were chuckling like children had her laughing in spite of it. Thorin's face twisted into mild disgust, but even he couldn't contain his snickers. 

At some of the disbelief he was getting and exclaims of over embellishing, he put up his hands. “Honest! That’s what it was like! I've never heard anything like it. And it gets worse…” he paused for dramatic affect. “As the shaft keeps going down, a wave of some otherworldly stench had strangled me, and I couldn't even escape to find shelter! I was trapped! My only source of refuge was the far corner of the lift, which was only large enough to hold a mine cart and three dwarrows.” He shook his head wistfully, putting his hands on his hips. “Oh, it was a suffocating concoction of meat pies and doom eggs and Valar knows what else! I look at him appalled. And though it was mighty impressive, I could only stare in disbelief. And when the shaft came to the fourth stop, he parted with the most evil smirk."

"He left you there with _that_? Oh, that is just cruel!" Dori sputtered.

"Disgusting..." Bilbo cringed, recalling the unsightly state of his bathroom when the Dwarves came in. He could easily picture the foul odor Bofur described. 

Fili’s head whipped back while he chortled in such a way Y/N had never heard before, casually shifting his hold to thread his fingers with hers. She looked down at where they were joined and then to him, unsure if the gesture was done on purpose or subconsciously. His whole face was lit up as he watched Bofur, revealing nothing. But she'd be lying if she didn't enjoy the way it calmed her heart. Y/N gave him a tender squeeze. Behind him, Kili was practically falling into Thorin’s shoulder, howling. 

Bofur followed up with the rest of the tale, “It gets worse! Now, I was afraid my poor moustache would be singed off before I even reached my level! I’m preparin’ to get off at the next stop, but to my misfortune… here come two dwarrows who work with me, and the stench hits them like a hurricane. They’re immediately coughin’ and gaggin’, askin’ me what in the Void ‘that’ is. I’m still standing there shocked, stunned, and bewildered. I meant to tell ‘em that it wasn’t _ me_, but my mouth moved faster than my brain and all I end up sayin’ is, ‘My apologies, lads’. So, there ya have it: I apologized for another dwarrow’s deadly fart and no one would work near me for a whole week after.”

Now that she was all stitched up and in tears from the imagery and Bofur’s performance with complimentary sound effects, he beamed at her, took off his hat and swept it under him in a deep, pride-filled bow. “Thank you, thank you! I’m happy my moment of woe brought you all such delight.”

After a round of applause and knee slaps at Bofur's job well done, it was all over—Oin wrapped up much sooner than she expected. Fili’s hand slipped from hers and he helped her to her feet. She tested the weight of the aftermath of Oin’s work, leaning on Fili for support. 

“Are you able to walk on that?” he asked, his hand ghosting over the small of her back.

“It’s a lot more sore now, but I think I’ll be good by tomorrow,” she guessed with a shrug.

"You'd best not put too much weight on it for a couple days at least, lassie," Oin corrected. Thorin hummed in response and it was hard to tell how he thought about that. She knew they couldn’t really afford any more delays and was torn between what the best course of action would be.

Y/N quickly followed up with, “I won’t slow you down! I promise! Maybe if I can find a walking stick, I’ll be able to move more quickly.”

Oin grunted dubiously at that, but Thorin cut in with, “No. You should rest, we all should rest,” he replied in a way that did nothing short of making Y/N feel guilty, even though she had nothing to feel bad about. 

“But—”

He held up a hand to stop her from talking. “We can spare one day to catch our breath and rebuild our strength. Unless…?” He eyed her inquiringly to tell him otherwise. As long as they could afford a much needed reprieve, Thorin was willing to grant it for the sake of her taking a day to heal. She bit her lip and nodded, looking to Gandalf to see what he thought. 

“We certainly could use it,” Gandalf concurred.

“Then it is settled, we will scout for a nearby camp!” Thorin announced before turning to his nephews, “Fili, Kili, I need to speak with you for a moment.” Thorin and Y/N locked eyes and he gave her a small nod; she knew what he was going to tell them and she smiled gratefully back at him for keeping his word. He really seemed to be willing to change, and with remembering that embrace he did with her, her cheeks flared up again.

“Well, I’ll leave you guys to it, thanks for taking care of this,” she said to Oin before she limped her way over to a different place to sit. 

Fili happened to catch that little exchange between them and tried to suffocate that uneasy twist in his gut at her blushing cheeks, knowing it had nothing to do with him at all. 

_ Now what does he want? _ Fili wondered with a sigh. 

* * *

While Thorin was busy with his kin, Y/N was all but forced to sit down beside Dwalin who regarded her with a stern look of disapproval about how she went about hiding her serious injury from them. But he was just as quick to soften up and told her how strong she is and how impressed he was with her for handling a warg and Orc by herself.

"Not many folks with as little training as you can do that and live to tell the tale! So, what're you going to name yer sword?" Dwalin asked with genuine interest. 

She looked at him crossed between surprise and confusion. "I'm not sure, I haven't really thought about it."

“Well, I’d say it deserves a name! It’s survived battle and defended ya very well,” Balin smiled proudly. Even though the bulk of its kills were mainly wargs, Y/N beheld her weapon with a newfound awe and respect. Without it, she’d have been toast. In fact, she wouldn’t have even mustered the courage for her foolhardy leap into battle. She supposed it earned itself a name by now even though it was more used for defense than offense.

“Hmm…” Y/N mused softly, turning the weapon considerately in her grasp. She remembered what Fili called his favorite weapon, Vanquisher, but decided to get some additional ideas from the group before she landed on a name. She looked to Dwalin, “What are your weapons called?”

Chest inflating like a balloon filled with all male ego, Dwalin happily indulged by whipping out both of his axes from his back. He held them in the air respectively as he introduced them one after the other with all the pride a father would have for his children. “This is Grasper and this is Keeper; this one grasps yer soul, and this one keeps it.”

Dwalin seemed especially pleased with those names and Y/N giggled endearingly at him.

“Hey, Bilbo! What should I name my sword?” she called. He scratched his head deep in thought and wriggled his nose in that cute way that only he knew how. 

“I don’t rightly now… I’m still not even quite ready to name mine yet,” he answered thoughtfully.

“Oi! Are ye daft?” Dwalin scolded her with a swift slap on the wrist. “Weapon namin’ is personal business! Ye name yer own!”

Taken aback from his offended behavior, Y/N huffed and slapped him back. Balin chuckled charmingly, “Don’t mind him, lassie. Namin’ a weapon that served us well in battle is one of the greatest rights in our culture; he tends to be very passionate about it,” then to Dwalin, “Mind yer tone, brother, there’s no way she’d have known.”

Dwalin merely grumbled in response. “There’s a lot about Dwarven culture you'd never understand."

At that, Y/N could do nothing but agree. Her thoughts strayed to a particular golden-haired Dwarf wondering just how much of it she would forever be in the dark about. 

* * * * *

Kili and Fili remained rooted in place after Thorin finished talking.

“Truly? No more spying?” Kili ventured incredulously. 

“What changed your mind?” Fili added, crossing his arms and leveling his stare, though not unkindly. True, he was still feeling mighty irked at Thorin’s sudden bold move on Y/N, but he was curious about what changed his stubborn uncle’s mind. It wasn’t a mind so easily changed, if at all, so something or someone had gotten through to him. Three guesses as to who. 

Fili didn’t feel threatened, per se, but he felt slighted in the remembrance of being publicly admonished just for kissing the lady’s hand in apology. Meanwhile, Thorin _ embraced _her publicly with similar innocuous intentions.

And the sight of seeing Thorin hug her in front of him felt like a kick in the gut. His biological sense of protectiveness to his woman was screaming at him to do something about this. But what could he do? They weren’t even together and Fili hadn’t even told her how he felt yet. It would just cause more problems, and he wasn’t entirely ready. He wanted to rethink a new plan.

Thorin at least had the decency to look out of countenance, though whether it was because he was aware of the slight he made or not, Fili wasn’t sure. 

“Y/N and I had a much needed heart to heart in the cave after I said those unfavorable things to her. I will not be making a mistake like that again.” He sounded resolute and Fili believed in his words, however, him mentioning the caves had sent another irked wave through him. He had interrupted him before he could—

“That’s a relief!” Kili breathed, breaking Fili out of a concentrated glare he wasn’t aware was manifesting. “I’m glad the air is cleared between you.”

“Yeah…” Fili agreed quietly, averting Thorin’s eyes as he smiled at them. 

After another discussion followed with Thorin basically regurgitating the same topic of how wrong he was and reiterating how “things will be different” now that he’d step aside and trust in Mahal’s gift to guide them however she saw fit, Fili carefully observed his uncle and the words he selected to describe Y/N. “A gift”, “Mahal’s blessing”. 

“What is she to you?” Fili asked, immediately regretting his choice of words. As far as he was concerned, Thorin was constantly viewing Y/N as naught but a divine relic sent from the Valar. As if she wasn’t a living person, mortal just like them. Capable of feeling emotion, pain, and being killed. Why did it have to take her battling Orcs for him to see that?

Kili’s head snapped in Fili’s direction. His wide brown eyes staring agog as if he sprouted two extra heads. Thorin was less taken aback by his nephew’s question, and only warily tilted his head, eyes narrowing in inquiry. 

Fili continued with less venom in his voice, “It’s just… one minute you want us to spy on her, the next you decide it’s wrong. You want us to keep a distance, then stay close to peg her for information by any means necessary; she’s disoriented enough as it is every day without our changing behaviors. She needs us to be there for her and this constant vacillating is not very reassuring. Are we to no longer accompany her throughout the journey now that we are no longer to spy?”

Thorin scratched the back of his neck, looking to Kili for any hint of an idea where this surliness was coming from. But when Kili only continued to stare at Fili in equal confusion, he replied carefully, “I said nothing of the sort. Where is this coming from?”

Fili only sighed and shook his head, running a quick hand through his hair, rueing the notion of bringing it up in the first place. “Back in Rivendell, did you not have a similar heart to heart that only changed at your whim?” When Thorin’s ire increased, Fili toned it back. He didn’t want to fight, but in some strange way he did. But it wouldn’t do to shed light on the real reason why he was getting so riled up. “I’m sorry, uncle. It’s been a hectic couple days for me. I worry for her and what she might think of us. You often speak of her as if she were nothing more than a vessel working Mahal’s will when she is very much alive and facing very real dangers right alongside us. I’m supposed to be the one watching out for Y/N’s wellbeing, but lately it seems as if I’m remiss in my duties with your alternating orders. There’s no consistency.”

Thorin kicked up his chin, his voice boomed with authority, disapproving at this disrespect. “I am well aware of her shortcomings and I have apologized for my wrongs against her. As far as she and I are concerned, we are now on common ground; our reaching an accord does not concern you or your abilities. Are you implying you are no longer capable of honoring your word of looking after her?”

Fili squared his shoulders and pegged him with an indignant stare. “I have proved on more than one account that am plenty capable.”

“Then what is the real issue you are trying to raise here.”

“Trust.”

“Hers or mine?” There was an underlying implication in this question that dared Fili to bring to light.

At Fili’s sudden silence, Thorin studied him very carefully. And when he met Kili’s eyes, Kili quickly glanced to Fili before offering a nervous lift of his shoulders as he, too, scratched the back of his neck in a similar fashion as his uncle did. Kili wasn’t sure what Fili wanted to prove or why he brought this all up in the first place. It was a rather foolish move. But he decided to jump in on a neutral answer that would deflate the tension brewing between them before it could get out of hand. 

“I think I can speak for the both of us in saying that it hasn’t been the best few days. Y/N has tried to warn us of the events that have come to pass and they went unheeded until now. Generally, trust must be gained and kept on both sides, but after what you’ve done this morning for Bilbo and Y/N after their noble acts of bravery, I’d say we’re back on track and can start anew, right Fili?” Kili prodded pointedly with a hard peg of his eyes that read ‘don’t you dare do anything stupid!’.

Thorin waited for Fili to answer, the troubled look never once leaving either of their faces. 

“Aye. That's exactly it. Thank you, for withdrawing us Thorin; I’m glad you and Y/N have made amends. If that is all, then please excuse me,” Fili nodded his head respectfully before making his departure without another word. 

After Fili excused himself, Thorin shared a confounded look with Kili and held him back from following. “What in the world is the matter with him?”

_ Not sure. Perhaps it’s because you hugged his One in front of him without a care in the world whereas you treated him as an dishonorable Dwarfling just for kissing her hand and now he’s losing his head about it. But what do I know. _

“Stress?” Kili offered. 

Thorin echoed dubiously, “Stress.”

Kili chose his next words carefully. He didn’t even want to hint at Fili’s feelings for Y/N to Thorin so soon after he finally accepted her for her role and was trusting her to guide them with her gifts. “He needs time to decompress—he’s strong, but everyone has their breaking points. First with the stone giants, then the goblins… he blames himself for not doing better at keeping her safe as he said he would. On top of it all, Fee had to watch his own kin get struck down by our greatest enemy whom we all thought was long gone, and then Y/N came charging after you before he could do anything to stop her. And before we knew what happened, eagles yanked us off of the ground and we had no way of knowing what became of you or her. When he did finally see you in the eagle’s talons, you were unconscious and she was nowhere to be found until we landed. We thought we had lost our two most precious members of the Company and haven’t really had the proper time to process all that transpired thus far.”

Thorin silently digested those words with a furrowed brow and Kili hoped that partial truth would be enough to satiate any loose ends Thorin had about Fili’s audacious behavior. Though these words rang true, Fili’s real annoyance stemmed from something more carnal and intimate and it was not Kili’s place to make declarations of such nature on his brother’s behalf. As a good brother should, he would guard Fili’s secret to the grave. Eventually, Thorin nodded. 

“I understand. I am often so focused on moving forward and persevering that I forget how much our trials and tribulations have been affecting everyone else. All the more reason that we all could use this day to rest. I know Fili can handle himself, and you are right: he has his breaking points. No matter how much training you were given, neither of you could have fully anticipated what this quest would be like until you experienced it firsthand.” Thorin paused, reflecting on something before smiling wistfully. “Be honest with me...”

Kili tilted his head indicating he was listening. 

“Over the years, growing up, have I been too hard on him?” 

Kili blanched in confusion, unsure how to answer. 

“When I came to live with you and your mother after your father’s death, I must admit I was not prepared. Often I fear I was a poor father figure. I am nothing like Vili; he was a gentle, compassionate soul, like your brother. I only ever wanted to prepare you both for the world I grew up in. I did not want to shelter either of you in lies or farce; protecting you in the ways your mother was trying to do. Even if I appeared cold and distant, I loved guiding and watching you grow to be who you are today. Mahal knows I likely will not father any bairns of my own, but just the same, I love you as mine own and I am so very proud,” Thorin finished. 

Kili became unexpectedly choked up at this sudden confession. Thorin had never voiced anything of the sort to either of them before. They knew based on his actions how he felt for them. They were family; Dwarves always looked after their own. It was an unspoken understanding between the three of him that they were loved. But to hear it now from Thorin’s own mouth, he wished Fili was there to witness it, too. He needed to hear it just as much as Kili did. He swallowed back the tears pooling in his eyes and they shared a soft chuckle at their mirrored expressions of the abrupt sentimental moment that crept up on them. 

“I know. We love you, too. Worry not for Fili, all he wants is to make you proud and to do right by his heart. At times... the two seem to conflict. But he just wants to make you proud, we both do.” Kili placed a hand on his shoulder and Thorin reciprocated the gesture before pressing their foreheads together. 

“You do, my sister-son, you do.”

* * * * * 

Balin watched as a disgruntled Fili marched past with an air of darkness surrounding him. There’s no telling what Thorin pulled them aside for, but he decided to keep his nose out of it. Family business was never something Balin felt the need to help with and after Thorin’s attitude from the topic of Y/N in the cave, he wasn’t sure how to approach his king about tender such topics moving forward—it would have to be done eventually, as advisor, but it didn’t mean it made his job any easier. 

Y/N was quick to greet the lad, hobbling over on her injured leg to urge him to join them, with Fili immediately admonishing her to sit and rest, and stop limping about. She seemed to care naught, and continued to draw him into the conversation on what to name her sword. 

He could tell Fili wanted time to himself, but he indulged her and sat down at her side to help her sort through names. And before he knew it, Balin saw the transition. It was the damndest thing watching the dark clouds instantly clear around Fili’s mind in the short period of being around her. She truly was a different kind of human lassie and had a way about her that calmed even Thorin down. It was only natural for Fili to also be affected by whatever charm she carried. 

Balin smiled affectionately at them and happened to catch Gandalf’s eye. The wizard threw him a mischievous look that he couldn’t interpret right away, but by that time, Thorin and Kili were next to join the gathering and Balin rose up to meet them. After seeking everyone’s welfare on who was up for some exploring, Thorin appointed Gloin and Nori to scout for a suitable camping place while everyone else remained at the base of the platform the eagle’s dropped them off of. 

Y/N remarked on Bofur’s embarrassing story before enlightening them on an embarrassing tale of her own that brought much needed smiles to the Company as they waited; in desperate need for a distraction from the rumbling in their stomachs that yearned for breakfast. 

Balin looked around at all the tired faces lighting up in her presence as she told another story about the mysteries of her world. She kept them giddy and soothed. Sometimes a laugh is the only thing that keeps you going through the day. A saving grace that gives us a small shred of hope to soldier on when all you want to do is crumble into a heap tired, defeated, and exhausted.

Kili took a spot on Y/N’s vacant side and Thorin stood nearby, observing with a patient, though fatigued, grin. Balin’s gaze landed on her bandaged thigh and thought to himself, _ This world is not a place for someone like her. _

Yet at the same time, Y/N had never failed to surprise him. He could note the subtle change of her adjusting to life there with them. Together they were strong. As long as they all looked out for each other, Balin knew they would see this through. 

And yet… he wondered how the Durins would fare when the time came for her to leave them. Would she leave them? Could she? Humans didn’t leave in Erebor, but something told Balin that, for Y/N, Thorin might just make an exception to that rule.

* * *

“Are you still awake?” 

Who knew that a simple four words would take Fili eons to say. But oh, the joy he felt when she turned to him with that smile. As if she were waiting patiently. 

“I can’t sleep,” she admitted with a giggle. “So much has happened, and I can’t seem to relax now that we actually have the opportunity.”

Fili nodded, he understood how that felt. “Yes.”

It wasn’t a shock that everyone around them were out like candles in the wind. Kili was sawing logs, Bombur was sawing, well, moths, and even Bifur, who was on watch duty, was leaning up against the tree post fast asleep. Y/N and him were the only ones that were wide awake. And even though they weren’t technically alone, it was nice to finally have some solitude with her again.

The way the firelight flickered across her face had given her such a beautiful glow that Fili was stunned to silence, marveling at how beautiful she was. How thankful that she was relatively unharmed by everything they faced.

She studied him a moment while they were quiet before asking, “Are you doing okay? You seemed mad earlier.”

“Ah, that…” He ran a hand through his freshly braided hair and blew a deep breath out. He did not want to think about his uncle putting his hands on her any more than he needed to. He’d already calmed down. “I’m fine.”

Without fully comprehending how she got there, Y/N was knelt at his side. He flinched back in surprise as her eyes roamed his face. “You don’t look fine.”

“Shh,” he hushed at her raised voice. “They’ll wake up.”

Y/N gave a pout and surveyed their surroundings. Her eyes breezed over the group before landing on something she liked. As she stood, she beckoned him to come with her with an inviting grin. She waved him over akin to how Kili did when overcome with a desire to get up to no good. 

Giving a quick look around to insure the coast was clear, Fili followed. 

“Where are we going?” he whispered, letting her take his hand and lead them away into the trees. Y/N was acting so boldly all of a sudden, but he’d be lying if it didn’t heat him up a wee bit at her taking charge like this. So forward... did she also like such behavior turned towards her? He liked that he was not the only one who seemed eager to spend time alone. His blue stare locked on where their hands were joined and preened when she readjusted her grip to interlock their fingers—they fit together _ perfectly_.

As he was following behind, he couldn’t help his wandering eyes from watching the way her bum shifted as she walked briskly into the thicket of trees. Such beautifully feminine legs she had! Bless those Elves for giving Y/N trousers so he could see her supple ass dancing for him without blasted skirts in the way, and her supple thighs enticing his hands to—

“Wait, your wound…” Fili tugged her to a stop and struggled to catch a glimpse of it and if it was bleeding again. She shouldn’t be walking on it...

She _pshed_ in annoyance and removed her hand from his to replace on her hips, looking around with a satisfied smile at where they stopped. “This should be far enough. Now we don’t have to whisper, it’s been a while since our last talk, and I... missed you.” 

Fili flushed and scratched the side of his beard. This was an… intimate setting to be sure. Not that he minded. But he wasn’t certain she was aware of it. Or how much of an effect she had on him when he was able to have her all to himself and say that she missed him in that tone of voice. Fili braced himself for someone to notice they were missing; for a call of their names. It seemed such a common occurrence that he was sure that any moment now, their time alone would be interrupted.

She coughed nervously. 

“So, you wanna talk about it?”

“Hm?”

“Why were you so mad?”

The image of Y/N being held in Thorin’s arms resurfaced and he growled at it when that unpleasant surge of possession ran through his body. 

_ Mine! _

Why was Thorin always getting in the way? Always stopping him, stealing her from what little time they got to share together and impose himself. The conversation from the cave came rushing back up his throat, begging to pick up right where he left off before he lost the chance again. 

“My uncle,” Fili answered sourly. 

Y/N nodded in understanding. “Mm. Thorin, now that you mention him, he interrupted us in the cave. What secret were you going to tell me? I haven’t stopped thinking about it,” she smirked, cutely twisting herself side to side as she waited. 

He didn’t want to hear that name coming from her lips. And certainly not with an “mm!” preceding it. A dominant part of Fili leapt to the surface, sapping him of any of his remaining self control. Brows furrowed in determination, Fili approached her with confidence he didn’t possess. He was beyond nervous but he could be brave enough for this. 

No more waiting. And this time, no matter what happens, be that they were found by the Company or Mahal himself had come down from the Valar to speak to them, they will be ignored. Fili would not allow a single second to pass until he got it all out of him and she knew exactly how he felt. 

He stepped in close. Closer than appropriate between friends. Her eyes gazed at him in a certain awe and nervousness when he closed the distance of her personal space. Close enough to spot that she was blushing.

“My secret,” he started in a low voice. “Is best to be shown.”

An eyebrow curved upward, and Fili could feel his heart banging around its cage like a beast ramming into the bars demanding to be freed. Though he had nothing to offer her at the moment but himself, he hoped it would be enough. He waited for her approval, his eyes jumping in her sight with unbridled hope and longing. 

“Then show me.” 

Fili wasted no time in lifting his palm to cup her soft cheek. His other hand grasped her waist. And as their mouths connected, his touch was demanding as he pulled her flush against him and his mouth was the same._ Feel me, _ he thought to her. _ Feel my heart and all that it holds for you. _

He felt her shiver beneath him but knew that based on the way she clutched and grabbed at him that it was not from repulsion or the cold. Fili couldn’t help smiling into the kiss at Y/N’s enthusiastic reciprocation of desire. 

“Mm!” He broke away from her with a wet pop when her thigh hitched itself around him. “Careful, your wound.”

Her arms circled around his neck, forcing his face up to look at her. “What wound?”

Yeah, what wound, indeed. As their mouths reconnected, he slicked his tongue between her lips to taste her and felt his trousers tighten as she pressed even closer against him as if she wanted to feel it. Y/N swallowed his moan when she ground against him _just so_ and couldn’t believe this was actually happening. Y/N was in his arms, locked at the lips, with her hands on him, and they weren’t being interrupted!

“Is this a dream?” He couldn’t help but ask, not trusting his incredible luck. 

“Depends, I guess. Can you wake up?” her fading voice answered.

It was only when Fili actually woke that he realized that all that bliss was, indeed, nothing but a dream. Disappointment settled heavily in his chest, and a fierce arousal pained him in petulant anguish as he spotted Y/N’s form nestled into a fetal position a few feet away from him proving that he hadn’t held her in his arms or tasted her lips at all. It was just a beautiful dream. Her angelic face was relaxed with sleep in the light of the fire and he wished her pleasant slumbers, wishfully thinking that perhaps she might be dreaming of him, too. 

Fili was still painfully hard. He wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep now. The vividness of his dream had caused false tingles of her phantom touches to remain on his body in the aftermath of what he dreamed they were doing. Durin’s axe, he could still feel her wet lips on him and the feel of her warm, soft body gripped tightly against his own, grinding, gasping... Oh, for Durin's sake. Noting very few who were still awake, Fili uncomfortably arranged himself better in his trousers before getting up to tend to the problem.

Using the memory of his dream, Fili hurriedly stroked himself to completion. He wanted Y/N with a fierce desperation he was almost ashamed of. It wasn't all entirely lewd, no. He wanted her hands on him gripping, roaming, clinging; he wanted to know all of her sounds, learn what makes her melt, scream in ecstasy, and swoon; he wanted to give all of himself to her, his body, his home, his name, his heart. Fili wanted to love her and bring Y/N all the happiness in the world. He quickened his pace, rutting roughly into his hand and his breath came out in quick pants before hissing sharply to keep his guttural groan nonexistent when he finally came in hot, throbbing streaks into the dark. 

Fili slumped with a grunt, still semi-hard and ready for more as a young, virile dwarrow usually is at his age, but took a few shuttering breaths to calm himself before he tucked his sex back into his trousers. After kicking dirt over the evidence of his release, Fili retreated back to camp before he could be missed and eased back into his spot.

The release helped to dull the ache, but his bond surged for the real connection after such a promising tease. Even if it was only his mind’s concoction.

Now that Fili was nowhere near tired, he drew up his knees to his chest and watched Y/N sleep from the top of his crossed arms. Thinking. Maybe the dream was trying to show him something. Was it time to tell her or was he still regretting that he missed his first chance? Regardless, Fili’s mind formulated a new plan of action, trying to think of something he could do in the near future that would be enough to “wow” an acceptance out of her. He still knew very little of Y/N’s culture and what she liked and wanted to learn more first. But he’d been patient thus far… he supposed a little longer wouldn’t hurt. 

“_Amrâlimê…_” he whispered to her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kekekeke figured you all might be starved for some of the more mature content I promised would come, even if it was just a dream. >;D
> 
> WHEW, thus ends the storyline of the first Hobbit movie! I hope I was able to do it justice. As I said in an earlier chapter, my story's plot is almost at the halfway point already, and we still have a ways to go. Don't know about you all, but I'm excited! As always, thank you to everyone for reading and taking any interest by leaving comments, kudos, or bookmarks. Y'all are the best! I never thought that anyone beyond a handful would actually like this story, so I'm truly flattered. :3
> 
> Alsooo, any sword name ideas?


	20. Room For Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the late post, I'm going through a really stressful time that's impacting my ability to write consistently. (I'll post more about this at the end notes.)
> 
> You guys are the absolute best. <3 Big thanks to everyone who left me some love on the last chapter and for all of your sword name suggestions for the reader! Since I received so many, I’d like to take a poll to see which one you all like the most. If there’s a tie, or the results are inconclusive, I’ll run them through a randomizer/generator thing. The names are posted below.
> 
> Also, I’ve looked through a few timelines for the journey (thank you again to everyone who took the time to leave input or links with this information, especially fantasy90, you're the best!) and learned that the Company’s travels to Beorn’s is done over the course of a few day span, according to this: 
> 
> https://www.timetoast.com/timelines/the-hobbit-a-chapter-by-chapter-and-chronologically-accurate-timeline
> 
> I already had all of my plot's pivotal key events planned out with the rough understanding of the timeline, but thankfully, everything I initially planned may end up working better by following the actual flow of time as opposed to flexing my plot convenience muscles. I'll be referencing the above timeline throughout the remainder of the story, but please excuse any mistakes if I miss a day or two, etc. I had to jot down painstaking day-by-day notes to match and make sense of my plans while staying as true to the storyline as I can. >_>
> 
> Anyhoo! Sword Name List, vote for the one you guys like the most in the comments and I'll post the winner the following chapter:
> 
> Braveling  
Warg Splitter  
Silverthorn  
One of the comments was, "something to do with savior/guardian titles", sooo I thought of Avenger  
Silver Dame  
Thunderborn  
Windfall  
Intense Negotiations
> 
> Enjoy! And please excuse any mistakes I may have missed during editing forgive me for not indulging a better use of a title xD

The change in the Company over the next three days was as tangible as the hearty meal of the pheasant-like bird that they just finished having for dinner. Even though she felt sad for the death of the animal, it was done cleanly in order to provide them with life. Additionally, Y/N had never tasted anything as delectable as that broiled goodness in quite some time—and dare she say it tasted just like chicken? 

It was amazing how a full stomach could lift any and all emotional conditions. Or nullify the trauma of getting chased down by goblins and Orcs back to back, for that matter. Who’da thought?

With the occasional exception to Gandalf—who had his Wizard Moods, as Bofur referred to them—everyone’s dispositions were much lighter and jovial. Even despite reopening her stitches by Kili enticing her to train again to, in his words, “build strength back in her leg”, and Thorin punishing him with watch duty for a full week as a result, Y/N was fully engaged in this slice of calm before the storm. It was nice to be able to laugh and smile more even with everything else that had yet to happen.

And boy, was there still quite a lot of hardship for them to endure… 

In her head, Y/N reviewed everything in sequence, from her disorienting arrival and wake up in Bilbo’s home to the terrifying first vision, the rough start in being able to talk comfortably to Thorin, building a strong friendship with Fili, and all of the other pleasant (and not so pleasant) in betweens that led up to now. 

All things considered, she felt more and more settled in Middle Earth than she could have hoped to feel now that so much time has passed. Though she did still miss her family and friends—she always would—the sting of their absence hurt her less as more time went on. In fact, acclimating herself to this new way of living came rather easily. Being around a bunch of men for such a prolonged period of time, she also became accustomed to their constant presence but also was thankful to enjoy her slice of privacy when bathing, as chance permitted. The only thing she wanted to eventually do without is that use of her chaperones who had to guard her while she did it; she never truly had a moment to herself to indulge in unsupervised freedom. 

Which wouldn’t have crossed her mind at all had it not been by a particular, ahem, _ ache _that had been bothering her lately. An ache that could not be soothed by Dori’s teas, Oin’s treatments, or any amount of good old fashioned rest. She felt it start up about a week ago, and it had only gotten worse as each day passed. Since the Dwarves, Bilbo, and Gandalf were always around, Y/N had no opportunity to see to this growing need. She could only hope it would not come to a point of distraction for her. Especially if Fili or Thorin were near; the ache only seemed to exacerbate.

She longed for the chance to have an actual private moment, just for relief, but for now, she would suck it up and endure it. There might come an opportunity that Y/N will not hesitate to indulge. Oh, if only they could camp in tents like back at home. Or a camper. A hotel with air conditioning. There were many modern inventions she thought would be very useful to them.

But in hindsight, there was almost a cathartic experience to be had by spending time with these people without modern day conveniences or distractions like smartphones or TVs. For reasons they obviously wouldn’t be able to understand, that made her feel closer to the Company than anyone back home. She got to spend actual quality time with them, and they listened to what she had to say, cared about her thoughts and whether she was hurt, sad, or happy, and in turn they all got to know each other better. They all bonded over their travels, strengthening their friendship through their troubles and grief just as her ancestors did way back when. Nobody did anything like this anymore in 2020. 

Though visiting Middle Earth did mean she had to basically relearn how to live in terms of exerting more manual labor to mend her clothing, dress and clean her wounds without the use of pharmaceutical creams and ointments, and start a fire and cooking basics. But she didn’t mind. It felt empowering and gave Y/N a sense of pride purpose to her days. The value of life, the value of being grateful for every day, made everything more precious to Y/N somehow here than it ever did in her world. 

Ironically, she didn’t know if she would be able to happily transgress back to normal life again if she got the chance. A world where entertainment came from a box, or a phone, and not in a circle of friends who got a kick out of fart jokes; friends who would go out of their way to help one another no matter the dangers, who both relied on and lent out their strength to those in need. Where bathing and eating together was considered a bonding experience—sure, Y/N still wished she had more leeway for privacy, but she enjoyed that they always thought to keep her included. 

She loved and missed her friends dearly, but not even they lived up to the type of friendship these Dwarves had to offer. The more time she spent with her Dwarves and Hobbit friend, the more she didn’t want to leave.

It was crazy for her to think about, but… not as crazy as other things. Like, say, those ominous skull-splitting visions she’s been subject to. As much a relief as it is not to have them, not having a vision sometimes gave her more anxiety the longer she went without. Y/N hadn’t experienced any communication from that entity since the incident in the tree. But other than that, she now struggled with a deeper problem. Her feelings for Fili had continued to grow more profound but now her heart had somehow made room for another. 

Ever since that hug Thorin gave her, Y/N couldn’t stop her eyes from seeking him out. Or the blush that painted her cheeks when she recalled his warmth surrounding her, how securely he held her to him when he openly apologized. She recalled every second of it with explicit detail as if it happened hours ago. At first, Y/N played it off as her body just getting confused by the sudden display of affection she was lacking, and the shock that it came from the one she least expected. Or hell. Maybe that was her “ache” straining for contact of some kind. 

But as each day pressed on, so did that faint, yet ever-present _ ba-bump _ in her heart when she relived that memory. The feeling was different from what she felt for Fili and gave her great pause on how she truly felt for either of them. 

Inconveniently torn between the contrition of her flirtatious banters with Fili while now ogling his uncle had made it all a rather chagrined experience for her. And it didn’t help that this guilt had made her unintentionally alienate herself from Fili to the point where now she was paranoid that he’d been looking at her differently lately because she wasn’t as forward with her flirting anymore. 

Y/N was mostly sure that this was likely all in her head, what with her polyamoric conundrum and all. 

The following day after the eagles came, Fili kept averting her eyes with a blush on his face, or when she caught him looking at her, he’d quickly pretend that he wasn’t. 

At first she figured he was respecting her space, being a gentleman. But when she was finally collected enough to face him again, he seemed different somehow. She couldn’t put her finger on just what it was. It was obvious there was something on his mind, but she didn’t push him because aside from that, everything was relatively normal between them. 

Y/N remembered with a pleasant hum in her heart Fili’s kindness in helping her during the stitches procedure. How his hand held hers, fingers intertwined, and that tender look in his eyes as he tried to distract her from the pain. It wasn’t a shocker why she developed feelings for him in the first place. He was just so unapologetically himself and unspeakably kind and caring. And even though there may (or may not be) something different about the air about him, at least she still had their nightly discussions to look forward to. He never missed those.

And neither did Thorin. Their evening talks together have improved substantially. Thorin seemed more relaxed now and Y/N could feel the trust on both sides during their discussions. Even though she hasn’t had another vision in some time, Thorin still requested her company, which did nothing to lull her budding new feelings for him. And she couldn’t even talk to him about what he was inadvertently doing to her without bringing up Fili—and that was a mess better left avoided. 

After a particularly long walk today, though she did very little of it, thanks to being carted around from Dwarf to Dwarf to keep her from reopening the stitches again, such thoughts shouldn't be what Y/N focused on before they were all supposed to relax. 

With a sigh, she laced her fingers to the crown of her head and made a quick tug of her hair to ease the ache forming there; why were matters of the heart always so vexing and consuming? She was willing to bet that nobody else was wasting time pining over something as trivial as this, so why should she? Despite no longer having any supplies, the Company had made the best of their campsite in the depths of the forest next to an abandoned bear den—she absently wondered if Beorn had ever used it before—and happily milled about to pass some time before sleep as they digested dinner.

Y/N decided to focus her mind on something else for the time being and spotted Gloin sitting by himself. He was staring into his cupped palm and looked like he could use some company, so Y/N started making way towards him. He didn’t flinch when she drew close or show any signs of unwelcome, so she ventured a little closer. She then realized he was holding his locket in his hand and even though it now appeared that she was interrupting a private moment, he made no show of hiding it, but acknowledged her presence with a curt nod and polite, “evenin’, lass”. 

“You must miss them,” she started cordially, her eyes shifting from his wife’s portrait and then to his son’s. Gimli looked more like his mother than Gloin, if she were to compare the portrait to him directly. She wondered how long ago the sketches were done and if his son was any older now, or looked any different, from the time it was first drawn. 

“Aye, very much…” he nodded. Gloin noticed her peeking over to see the pictures while she hunched over, so he made a big deal of her sitting down and spewing out a lecture to stop ignoring Oin’s orders and take better care of her injuries. 

“I know yer a tough lassie, but how can ya expect that to heal if you keep walking around on it?” It amused her that the more aggravated the Dwarf, the thicker their accents became. Y/N managed to hide her fond smile, dragging some hair to the front to cover up the evidence before he could take notice. 

“I know, I know. Sorry.”

“Hmph! Oin popped a vessel seeing you and Kili sparring. If ye reopen that again, he told me he’d roll ya up like a rug and lug you around like cargo until it healed. I wouldn’t call his bluff on this one, he means business.”

Y/N openly laughed at the imagery, but knew that the concern was partly serious. She’d never seen Oin so flabbergasted before chasing after a bewildered Kili before tending to Y/N’s cut again with a scolding wag of his finger at the both of them. This time, he didn’t wait for Fili to distract her, and Y/N had to sit through the agony of restitching alone with the angry apothecary. It was done to teach her a lesson, and it didn’t go unheard. 

“I’ll be careful, I swear,” she promised with a shudder. 

“See that you do! Nobody likes seein’ ya hurt.”

As a companionable silence stretched between them, Y/N’s eyes wandered over to Gloin’s family portraits again. He tilted the locket in her direction when he caught her looking. 

“Gimli practically fought me on my way out,” Gloin admitted with a chuckle after she made a comment on the axe Gimli posed with. 

Y/N stared at him wide eyed with horror trying to picture a physical brawl between Gloin and this adorable child, unsure if Dwarves rough-housed their children the same way adults did. If their aggressive-looking head bunts were anything to do by, Y/N could only imagine what a father-son “fight” was.

“He fought you!?”

“Not physically, no. But he put up a damn good tantrum when I told him he had to stay behind. He just wanted to come along, is all. The lad hardly ever leaves my side, you’d have better luck prying apart ink from parchment paper!” he laughed heartily with the sort of fatherly love and pride that made Y/N miss her own dad. Gloin’s laughter eventually drifted into a forlorn sigh. 

“But I told him he had to stay and look after his Amad for me, protect her while I was away.” 

His fingers reverently traced over the features of his wife before settling where her beard was drawn as if he longed for its touch. Y/N assumed he probably did. 

Forgetting about phone calls and emails, it’s not like anyone in the Company could have written letters to their families. Even if they could, it would only be a one-way mailing; taking weeks or months before it reached the hands of its recipients. And no one knew what would happen in between then. Even though no one really said much about it, Y/N knew everyone here was resolute on the mission but that they longed for home and the loved ones who were anxiously waiting for their return. And they trusted Y/N to help see them through safely. 

No pressure, or anything. 

“She’s so beautiful,” Y/N commented, noting that she had a particularly fine beard than what she was told most dwarrowdams grew. And she looked so delicate and feminine, even with her facial hair on rounded healthy cheeks, but she knew based on Oin and Gloin stories just how fierce a woman she really was. According to Oin, her temper was a frightening sight to behold, and woe any poor soul who gets caught in her line of sight when she got going.

Sitting up taller, Gloin nodded in agreement, a big toothy smile taking up his face. “Isn’t she? My lass is the most beautiful dwarrowdam in all Middle Earth! No flower, jewel, nor any worldly wonder could ever compare.”

Touched by the pride and adoration in his voice, Y/N could only grasp her heart at the overload of sweetness oozing off of this gruff Dwarf to stop herself from squealing out a rather obnoxious, feminine, “Awwww!”

She settled for a subdued, “Aw, Gloin, that is just so sweet! She’s a lucky lady to have someone who loves her as much as you do.”

“I’m the lucky one!” he corrected exuberantly, before giving her a thousand reasons why, ending with how fortunate he was to finally find his One in this lifetime. Gloin paused to fondly admire her portrait a moment longer before asking, “Do you have Ones in your culture, Y/N?” 

“You mean like soul mates?”

“Aye.”

“It’s more of a theological, new age concept where I come from. Some people believe in them and others don’t, but there isn’t any concrete evidence to prove otherwise. Personally, I wish they did exist for us… my love life hasn’t exactly been the best and it would have helped to know who to avoid,” she admitted with a dry laugh. 

Gloin grunted in disappointment at that, snapping his locket shut to safely tuck it back into a hidden pocket close to his heart. “Must make finding a partner very difficult for ya, then.”

Y/N rolled her eyes and agreed whole-heartedly. But in her mind, she immediately saw Fili smiling warmly at her, and all at once her heart began to pitter-patter as if to tell her that it wasn’t so difficult anymore. She had someone who she was highly interested in, who cared about her, looked after her, and eased the many tension-driven nights. It had to take her traveling to another world to do it, but she couldn’t complain! And just as suddenly, Thorin appeared in her mind, too, adding an uncomfortable twist in this mental tug of war between two capable men—dwarrow—she would be honored to date, if given the opportunity. 

Y/N hugged herself, as if to summon the feeling of their stoic leader’s arms around her again. But that was a one of a kind experience she likely wouldn’t get to feel a second time. She felt curiously disappointed at that. Ugh, dual feelings were a messy business. Her heart was so confused, and she could only wonder what they might have thought about her in return. It’s gotten to the point now where she was so close in friendship to the both of them that it might be awkward to even bring it up now, lest she ruin a perfectly good platonic relationship she spent months building and fortifying. 

She remembered the conversation she had with Fili a long time ago, when she asked him how a Dwarf would know when they found their One. The way he looked at her, all seriously, while he explained that it was something they just inherently felt and she recalled with faint clarity their “almost-kiss” as if he was talking about her. Which was just utterly ridiculous! 

But... was it really?

Bofur himself had explained that Dwarves were very straightforward when they liked somebody and usually came out and said it. And while Fili hadn’t declared any such confessions, he still owed her a secret. One that she was dying to know if only just to end this agonizing wishful thinking; her mind stumbled to fill in the blanks but she would have preferred to just know what the hell it was he wanted to tell her to avoid misreading him—he was a flirt, after all. Was it possible that Bofur and Nori were speaking about how they would proclaim their fancy to someone _ they _liked? Fili was so very different from them… they were outgoing and charismatic and Fili was more reserved and, well, private. 

If she did make up her mind on whether she wanted to move forward to being open to potential suitors, the more she understood the better. 

Y/N briefly chewed her thumbnail in contemplation and figured, what the hell. They were already on the subject, so...

“Can I ask you about how ‘Ones’ work? I understand if it's a secret of your people that you don’t wanna share, but I’m just really curious about it.” 

“I don’t see the harm in tellin’ ya, lass. What did you want to know?” 

Well, to start, there were already so many things about their culture that she didn’t know about. If Y/N had any doubt that Gloin was reticent on divulging those details, he didn’t show any signs. In fact, he seemed happy to discuss the subject with her. Emboldened, she mulled over the questions she wanted to ask, hoping to gain a clue on how relationships worked within a Dwarf world, and if they would date outside their race or be able to love somebody even if they weren’t their “One” without explicitly implying her true interest in the matter. 

“Are they a love at first sight sorta deal and is it realized by both parties?”

Gloin stroked his beard a couple times as he thought of the best way to answer. He seemed to arrive at an acceptable way and his whole posture and face relaxed into a fatherly expression, as if he were about to have “the talk” with his child—it was her guess if he had yet to explain this concept to his own son yet but, like a child, Y/N’s mind was naive yet open for answers. She rested her arms across her knees and propped her chin up in her palms. Given the setting of the golden light of the campfire a ways away, it almost looked like Gloin were about to tell a story. Based on his tone of voice, it definitely sounded like it.

“Our Maker built us to be hard, sturdy, durable and strong folk. Each with their own unique skill set and purpose. But we are not built whole. Every dwarrow and dwarrowdam are crafted their own ‘other half’; a half that will complete and enhance their existing potential much like weapon smithing. And when they do come together, there’s an instant connection or recognition in some form or another. Together, they can create beautiful things of any nature! Be it medicines, art, music, buildings, weapons, or even bairns; all geared towards serving a greater purpose for the realm they meet in. But,” he paused, holding up a finger for added dramatism. “Not everyone finds theirs. Sometimes a Dwarf could go their entire lifetime without ever meeting their One.”

“Why bother giving someone a soulmate like that if they never meet them?” she questioned. 

Y/N wasn’t sure how this talk would pan out or if it would answer any of her internal questions or add more to her already long list. She knew Dwarves were very religious and superstitious people, and here she is questioning the workings of what and who their faith is based on. But Gloin seemed willing to answer her questions regardless of her skepticism and did so with a very paternal patience that didn’t go unnoticed, or unappreciated. 

“Mahal gave his creation free will to make their own decisions and live their own lives—certainly wasn’t like that at first, and that’s another story entirely! But now we can choose to seek out our One, if we wish, but most would rather focus on their craft or let fate run its course as it may. If the pair don’t meet in Middle Earth, then they will meet in another realm, like the Halls of Mandos.” He pointed to the sky to indicate where that particular place was located and briefly described that the halls were akin to heaven; a plane of existence on another realm and timespace entirely separate from “reality”.

Y/N displayed her understanding with a hum and a nod, trying to formulate her next question in a way that wouldn’t give her away her motive. She wanted to know if she could indirectly discern Fili’s feelings for her based on everything she was learning from Gloin. 

“When a Dwarf finds their One, do they display a certain type of behavior?”

“Oh, aye! Turns even the hardest Dwarf into sappy lil buggers!” 

Okay, that was already a bad sign. Fili had acted flirty, yes, but sappy? Not so much. She wasn't about to give up hope yet, though.

“Do they just come right out and say it once they meet them?”

Gloin chortled and continued on, “Come now, we’re more romantic folk than ye think! Even though our hearts are being driven by some unknown force, you need to approach the matter with tact! There are courting rituals in place that must be upheld to ensure your beau knows that yer a capable suitor. In other words, it’s a test for the males to prove themselves to their love interest. For example, when I first met my One, I felt _ some_thin’ stirring in me,” Gloin absentmindedly rubbed his chest through his beard. “A strange, strong impulse that I understood meant that I had to keep seein’ her, but it wasn't until I heard her laugh for the first time that I realized she was mine.”

Y/N smiled at his adoring expression he wore as he relived the memory. Most days, Gloin came off as your typical dour Dwarf, but anytime his wife was mentioned, he looked revitalized with life. As if her very name was what drew the air to his lungs. 

“Then what did you do?” Y/N asked with a tilt to her head.

He threw her a sly stare. “I wooed her, of course! Well… I _ tried _to. I made her gifts to wear in her hair, sent her tokens of my affections, and I did everything I could to hear that laugh again whenever we went on a stroll, making a right arse of myself at times. She’s a rare beauty in these lands and she had her fair share of willing suitors to consider aside from me.” A shadow passed over his face as he said this. “I didn’t want to risk someone else winning her over first, so finally, I mustered up my courage and told her how I felt. I bared my heart and soul and gave her a courting gift I spent months forging and asked her to be mine.”

“And the rest is history.” Since it was obvious that she accepted it. 

He nodded happily. “Made me the happiest and most fortunate dwarrow in all of Middle Earth. The thing is, every dam and dwarrow experience finding their One differently, and us males tend to feel it most strongly. If a lass finds her One before the male realizes it, she makes herself as presentable and approachable as possible so the dwarrow knows she’s interested. And sometimes, a Dwarf who recognizes his One in someone may not be that person’s One in return. It’s rare, but it happens; usually only for when it involves Hobbits or Man.”

Y/N didn’t bother inquiring about Elves as intended companions, knowing that would be akin to asking if a Dwarf would be willing to wed a horse. But nonetheless, her eyes widened as she tried to fight back the interest in her voice, “Dwarves find their Ones in other races?”

Gloin seemed hesitant and only mildly put off by the question, awkwardly fiddling with his beard to mask his personal feelings before offering a curt nod. 

“Mm. As I said, it’s rare, but it can happen; more so with the halflings. Although, I know a dam who’s married to a human baker in the Blue Mountains and they’re very happy together. To be frank, I don’t understand why Mahal would allow such a thing, but who am I to judge? He’s the master craftsman and we’re just his creation,” he finished with a careless lift of his broad shoulders.

At Y/N’s downturned expression, Gloin’s face softened and he gave her a gentle jostle. “Nothin’ personal against you lot, but Hobbits and Man don’t have the same biological structure as we do, so, often times when a Dwarf finds their One in another race, it usually leads to heartache and a lifetime of unbearable loneliness.”

“...why?” she probed gently. 

Gloin regarded her wistfully for a moment. His lips pursed together and disappearing into his lush beard as if he didn’t wish to share those fine details. But given all that was already said, he must have decided that he might as well. He dragged a hand through his hair and sighed deeply. 

“Unequal lifespan, for one thing. But more so… Dwarves have a way of bonding to their One in a way that is very, very different from mere ‘falling in love’ as humans and halflings do. Where you can love many times, Dwarves can only love once and then never again. When it clicks in our brain who our One is, we’ll fall in love fast and deeply. And if married to them, we devote our entire life taking care of them as if they were the greatest treasure ever beheld.”

Y/N furrowed her brows in thought, digesting the information he’d given and trying to make sense of it. Dwarves and Ones was a highly romantic circumstance to be sure, but it also seemed pretty risky to tiptoe through life not knowing if your “One” might be lurking just around the corner and turning your world upside down. Seemed almost primal. Fascinated by what she was learning, Y/N’s thirst for more details left her desperate for more. 

She mused, “Interesting… so, bonding is like a metaphysical imprint. Is it similar to how a duckling imprints on its mother for the first time?”

Gloin made a face to dissent at Dwarves being compared to ducklings of all things, but stopped to think about it further before he finally nodded, the culmination of that veracity coming across as mild surprise. “Hmm… that's a mighty accurate comparison, actually. It's a wee bit more complicated than that, though. The instant recognition is there, but the real trigger can occur by other means, like when I heard my wife laugh for the first time.”

Y/N pondered on the subject a little more before stating, “Nothing against your Maker or anything, but it seems a bit cruel to subject your creation to something so significant and powerful only to potentially force them to live their life alone if it doesn’t work out.” 

Gloin precariously waved his hand.

“The bond is only truly effective and irrevocable after, er, _ fornification _with the partner. A Dwarf can live a normal life on their own, even knowing who their One is, without succumbing to its potency as long as they don’t… y’know,” Gloin wiggled his fingers to gesticulate before regaining himself with a throat clearing. “Younger Dwarves feel the effect more strongly, and might pine longer than older ones do if they cannot win the favor of their intended. But eventually they live on as usual, forgoing marriage. If they consummate their bond, premaritably or no, it cannot be undone and they are forever tied to that person in both body and soul. And that’s when the waters can get a bit murky if the One is another race.” 

Y/N nodded slowly. She could only imagine how finding your One in another race would give a Dwarf great pause, or... if you haven't found your One at all and fancied someone else. She found it odd that a One could even be another race, but as Gloin mentioned, that was supposedly all Mahal’s biz, and who were they to question it. Seemed to be all she ever did these days when it came to that puzzling deity of theirs. 

She stewed over the details in her mind again as she tried to string together theories or see if there were any possible connection to Fili’s behavior towards her or not. But so far, with both Bofur and Gloin’s explanations on the matter, she was no more closer to getting any answers than when she started. But the more she thought about it, the more silly the idea of her getting together with Fili (or Thorin) sounded. Even if she wasn't his "One" it seemed unlikely that Fili (or Thorin for that matter) would even entertain the thought of getting together just on principle of not wanting to break her heart later if they _did_ happen to find them. 

Besides, there still remained the lingering suspicion on whether or not she would return to her world after the quest. So, what good would her ludicrous emotions do her then? But sadly, human beings were quite the complicated souls and the heart wants what it wants. And hers was currently torn between a dwarrow of golden hair with a golden heart, and a dwarrow with penetrating blues eyes and a haunted backstory.

Y/N tried to tone down the disappointment in her defeated sigh. “I guess that makes sense then. Maybe it’s a good thing that it’s such a rare occurrence for you guys in that regard, huh.” 

Gloin made a noncommittal sound and looked deep in thought about something before saying, “I met a dwarrow, bless the poor lad, that found his One in a married human lass and couldn’t do a thing about it. He lived his life as her neighbor and good friend, but… I know that he felt great envy and longing every time he saw her with her husband. He told me it was good enough for him just being able to see her when he could and they stayed good friends until she passed...” He shook his head. “He moved to another town shortly after and is making fantastic pottery sets. Seemed pretty chipper when I spoke to him, but I wouldn’t wish that on anybody, ‘cept maybe Orcs, if they were able to feel in such a way.”

“So, he didn’t fully bond with her. Couldn’t he have just moved on or found someone else since she was gone?”

“Ye can’t really, once you know. I’ll emphasize that ‘most’ Dwarves are much too considerate to give any less than 100% of themselves to their partners. That’s mainly why many dams and dwarrows never marry anybody who isn’t their One, unless it’s political or arranged. Every Dwarf handles it differently, however. Some may be able to get involved with someone else, or they may fool around. Just depends on the Dwarf and circumstance.”

_ Maybe it really is for the best if Fili doesn’t have feelings for me, _she thought. If she was a “One”, Y/N couldn’t bear to think about them potentially falling in love together only for a few decades of her life while Fili is forced to live on by himself without her. She’d be super jealous about it, but she’d at least want him to remarry or find someone else who could fill the void in his heart, but according to Gloin, that wasn’t possible for Ones. Y/N was almost thankful for her human trait of liking more than one—

Thorin suddenly flashed in her mind and concocted a strange thought. 

“What if you have more than one One? Or a One of one person happens to be the One of another?” she asked. 

“That’s impossible,” he replied as if she were mad, looking at her as if she had sprouted a horn out of her head. “Ye can check scrolls, tomes, and history books until The End of All Days, but ye won’t find a single instance in recorded history of that ever happenin’ because it can’t!”

“Just because there’s no recorded event of it ever happening, doesn’t mean the possibility doesn’t exist, right?”

Noting her look of determination to battle the statistics, Gloin added with almost comically demonstrative hand gestures, “Have ye listened to a word I said? It is not biologically possible for a dwarrow or a dam to have excessive amounts of Ones or _share_. That’s why they’re called ‘Ones’, not Twos or Threes! Cor… of all the ridiculous things I’ve heard, and by my beard, have I heard an earful from my son alone!”

Y/N leaned back, submissively holding her hands in the air and let a laugh escape at the scene unfolding in front of her. She couldn’t resist poking the bear a little further. “I was just asking! But you gotta admit, just because there isn’t _ written _proof...”

Short of puffing up like a frazzled bird, Y/N could practically see Gloin’s beard puff up indignantly. 

“Now see here—”

“Mind if I join you?” Came the sudden, but welcome, intrusion of Thorin’s voice. Not wanting him to partake in this particular topic since Gloin was about to burst, Y/N all but leapt up in her seat, cutting Gloin off before he could say anything further than a greeting.

“Good evening!” Y/N sing-songed as Thorin approached them, more than willing to cut her subsequent conversation short. “Is it that time already?” 

He half smiled and shifted his eyes to a very flustered Gloin. “I seem to have interrupted you. Shall I return later?”

Y/N avidly waved her hands before turning to Gloin, hissing a bit as her stitches tugged a bit while she struggled to her feet. “Nah, we were finished anyway. Thanks, this was very insightful.” 

Thorin looked between them curiously as he helped Y/N to stand but said nothing further.

“Anytime, lassie...” Gloin grumbled, clutching his chest where he stashed his locket as the pair walked away. Under his breath he muttered, “Strange girl, she is. More than one One. Pah!”

* * * * *

“Do you love me at all?”

“Of course I do.”

“Then don’t you leave me here to suffer like this!”

“It’s only for several more hours…”

“Several more hours of torture, is more like it! Oh, it’s so boring staring at nothing! I can’t stand it!”

“Kili, it’s not my fault you had the brilliant idea to spar with Y/N while she was still recovering,” Fili countered hotly, hands on his hips. Honestly, what was he thinking? What was _ she _thinking? Y/N should be off her leg until her wound is fully healed! Though he did have the delight in carrying her during their travels these past couple days, per Oin’s demands. Hard to argue with such an esteemed, knowledgeable, noble healer!

“You’re lucky Thorin didn’t punish you any further beyond watch duty.”

Kili kicked at the ground. He had the decency to appear contrite about what landed him in this predicament but the pout he wore was ever present. 

“True. But Y/N seemed well enough and didn’t refuse. I was only trying to make sure she didn’t lose any muscle. Remember when I broke my leg learning to ride a pony? I basically walked like a newborn colt once my cast was off.”

Fili’s eyes softened, as did his tone. “Thankfully, Y/N doesn’t require a cast and with the herbal mud Oin made, she should be fully healed in a few days. She won’t lose any muscle over such a short period of time.”

“We didn’t mean for it to get out of hand, but you’re right. So, anything new on your pursuit of said maiden fair?” Kili inquired with new zest to his voice. Fili was just on his way to prepare his sleeping space, and Kili knew just what topic to bring up to get him to stay and chat. That bugger. 

Fili had had a hard time meeting Y/N’s eye lately. Ever since that vivid, sexy dream, he couldn’t help thinking about it every time he looked at her during his waking moments. He felt so awkward. It’s not like she’d know he dreamed about her in such a way, but it made it exceedingly more difficult to be around her with such wanton thoughts at the front of his mind and, er, trousers. Not exactly the best impression he’d like to impose on her. 

Indubitably, this would be a secret he would forever keep to himself. 

“Well?” Kili asked when Fili didn’t answer. 

Fili flushed and shook his head, averting his eyes. No doubt his brother would know he was keeping something from him, but there was no way Fili was telling him about that. 

“No, nothing new yet.”

Kili’s eyes surveyed his brother with pinpoint focus. He lifted an eyebrow. “Are you still sore with Thorin about the whole hug incident?”

“No, I’ve calmed down from that.” 

Kili regarded him with a disbelieving hum. 

“Honestly, I have!” _ And heated back up with these blasted dreams instead! _“I don’t know why I reacted that way… with everything that happened, I suppose I lost myself for a moment.”

Fili still feared succumbing to the strain of madness that ran in his family, and wasn’t clear how or when it would reveal itself, if ever. Was it only triggered from gold? Greed? Those he treasured most? A combination of any or all of those? It was a conversation he knew he should have, but one he’d felt compelled to avoid out of blissful ignorance. The stories alone he was told about it were enough to unsettle him. 

Kili tried to ease him with a warm, understanding smile. “I wouldn’t worry about that. You were stressed out.”

“But I acted so irrationally! All over an innocent hug. I may as well have declared my feelings for Y/N right there to his face!” Fili ran a taxed hand over his eyes. He felt Kili land a playful smack on his elbow, knocking his hand away.

When Fili met his brother’s eyes, he wondered for the first time what he thought of him as an older brother. Lately, it seemed as though Kili were the one acting the role of the mature sibling, taking care of Fili when Fili should be the one taking care of him. He was supposed to be the one with all the answers. Was he rendered inadequate in Kili’s eyes now?

But as Kili continued to smile, Fili swallowed back a lump forming in his throat at the thought. He felt emasculated enough as it is. He couldn’t cry now! 

“You always do this to yourself,” Kili sighed sadly. 

“Do what?”

“Enduring adversity well past your threshold. You’re constantly looking after others, but never yourself.”

“I can handle it,” Fili defended. 

“That’s my point! You don’t always have to handle it! It’s perfectly acceptable to let yourself heal.”

“Persevering is what is expected of me. I’m preparing myself for the throne and my position! I will have to take on much more strenuous and stressful situations than this,” he insisted. 

Kili shrugged. “It’s how we were raised, yes, but if you run yourself ragged, what’s the point? At this rate, you’ll end up doing more harm than good.” 

Fili opened his mouth to retort, out of his stubbornness to insist that he was strong and he could push through, that he must! But decided against it. It was true. Fili hadn’t actually had a chance to calm his mind with everything that went down recently. His emotions were all in a bind and he got overwhelmed with no real outlet. Mahal, what would happen if he continued what he was doing, only to lose all capacity for reason?

Though even arriving at this realization was no more an attack on his pride, Fili couldn’t find it in him to give in. A warrior's determination is a very powerful thing. It could also yield dangerous results.

“You’re the strongest person I know,” Kili continued softly. “You’re allowed to break down every once in a while. But then you return even stronger than before! I may look to Thorin for approval and leadership, but I look up to you far more because you’re my favorite brother, someone I want to strive to be someday.”

Fili laughed through his nose, peering at him through a side eye. “I’m your only brother.”

“All the more reason I look up to you!” Kili giggled, striking a satisfied pose at ripping a laugh from him. Kili paused a moment, stringing together his words in his head before admitting hesitantly, “After you left us, Thorin told me how proud he is of you.”

Fili bashfully looked down at his boots. After the things he said and the way he acted, that’s the last thing he’d expect to come out of his uncle’s mouth. 

“Did he.”

“Aye. He truly is, Fee. He understands the burden you carry on your shoulders because he’s been doing the same. You don’t have to be so hard on yourself all the time. You can share the load on me, him, or your lass. She cares for you,” he finished with a gentle shoulder clap. 

“She will see me as weak,” Fili’s voice cracked as his eyes lifted up. He wasn’t impervious to the sentimental conversation, and knowing Thorin was proud of him despite his actions had moved Fili deeply. It wasn’t in his nature to burden others, but rather to take the burden off of them. Yet knowing the offer was there, hearing it out loud, was very humbling. Everyone needed help. Especially those that constantly helped others. And Fili felt like a volcano that would burst at any second. He definitely needed a proper cooling down, and he knew that Y/N would be the elixir he needed to feel like himself again. He’d already come to her once before when they were only mere acquaintances, confiding in her about his worry about the quest and how he might not be able to protect his brother. Y/N gave him no reason to feel shame the entire time. 

It was hard to go against an instilled behavior, however. Knowing who Y/N was to him now made all of their time together feel different. He was scared of, well, scaring her off. Thinking him unworthy when all he wanted was to impress her and show her that he was a capable suitor. 

Kili merely shook his head and grinned that familiar smile that was always present since he was a babe.

“As your One, she will need to see you as you are; strengths, weaknesses and all. Y/N is a wonderful, caring woman. And I’m fairly certain that she will see a dwarrow who loves and trusts her enough to be vulnerable in her presence and nothing less.”

Gods, Fili could only hope.

* * * * *

“You are supposed to be staying off of that… why do you never do as you are told?” Thorin sighed, as Y/N declined his advice for her to rest. She had that look in her eyes. And Thorin knew well enough by now that that look meant that there would be no changing her mind. He had to admire the Dwarven level of stubbornness in her. 

She dismissed that with a sharp _ psht_. “It’s only around camp, it’s not like I’m running a marathon! And I just wanted to check on Gloin is all. He seemed a bit down.”

“You looked like you needed rescuing,” Thorin admitted with mild regret.

He led them into the abandoned bear den for privacy. It wasn’t very deep, but it led far back enough that they could just make out the light of the fire when they reached the back of it. Thankfully, the cave was just a few inches taller than Y/N’s head, so she could walk comfortably upright. She let her hand drift along the rocky wall as they walked to steady herself. 

Y/N cracked a smile. “How so?”

“Whenever Gloin has that locket out, he cannot help himself from speaking about his wife. He tends to go on for ages without any foreseeable end…” 

She couldn’t help but laugh at Thorin’s pained expression, as if he had unwittingly instigated many discussions in the past that he couldn’t escape from fast enough. 

“I appreciate the thought, but I don’t mind it.”

Thorin’s forehead creased in doubt. He knew he already took up a lot of her time as it was, but after her thigh injury, he felt guilty partaking in their evening talks. He wanted her to rest, but Y/N kept persisting she was fine and said she would go mad if all she did was sit. Per Oin’s orders, the Company took turns carrying her as they traveled, and she would occasionally walk with a walking stick for an hour every day to maintain strength. Thorin understood the need to shake off the more minor injuries, but until she could walk without limping, or aid of a makeshift cane, he didn’t want her over exerting herself when they still had a long ways to go.

Y/N misread his concerned expression, thinking it was burdensome for her to listen to her friends’ troubles as opposed to worrying over her injury. 

“Really! I don’t mind being vented to. We actually had a nice chat,” she said before she could stop herself.

Thorin tilted his head. “Oh? What about?”

She bit her lip, excluding all of the important details and summing it up with two words she knew Thorin wouldn’t press. 

“His wife.”

He blanched at her before shaking his head in awe. “I am amazed that you can withstand all of that tooth-rotting romantic babble and not wish to tear your hair out.”

Y/N made a move to sit and Thorin was quick to assist, knowing her stitched area was still a bit sore. Thankfully, Gandalf found some healing herbs during their days of travel that Oin was able to make into a sort of mud mask to aid in the healing process. It made the skin itch like the high heavens, but since it accelerated the healing time, Y/N bore it with an iron will.

“He said that Dwarves were more romantic folk than people thought,” she commented as he got her settled comfortably. “But you’re surely proving otherwise. I don’t understand why you all get so easily annoyed by him talking about her.”

Thorin huffed and plopped down beside her. 

“Gloin is a besotted dwarrow, his very purpose in life revolves around a woman. My mind is occupied with far more complicated weights he will never endure. My purpose revolves around this quest and my people. I’ve no interest in listening to a love story, especially when I have already heard it ten times over.”

“Oh stop. It’s not that bad. Everyone has their own personal troubles weighing them down; doesn’t make it any more or less complicated than anybody else’s thoughts. Like, just the other night I spoke to Bilbo about how worried he is about how his garden is doing. Sure, to you that might seem like a small ‘complication’, but it mattered to him because he cares about it. We’ve all got our share of troubles about what matters most to us, but we can surmount them as long as we have our friends and support. It helps to talk things out, even if it means repeating yourself. That’s why I don’t mind listening to them vent. It helps to know that someone cares. Besides, all _ you _talk about is your quest, and I’m still listening. So there,” she finished with a triumphant pose.

Thorin thought about her point and had to agree with her. Though the comparisons to which held more importance in the grand scheme of things between ruling an entire kingdom or tending to one’s garden, the answer came obvious. But Thorin understood where Y/N was getting at and appreciated that she was there for his men. Yes, the fate of this quest was ever on his mind, and he knew he’d unloaded his concerns to their esteemed Seer on more than one occasion. Being so wrapped up in his own mind, Thorin seldom forgot that he wasn’t the only one who sought Y/N’s council. He wondered what burdens needed unloading from Y/N’s mind and if she felt comfortable enough to consult with him.

“Indeed. I must thank you for looking after the Company’s well being.” He nodded towards the cave entrance. “You steal their king away from them enough to where they must consult you for uplifting them in my stead.”

“That’s humble of you,” she retorted with a playful, though flattered, smirk. 

He returned it with a small chuckle through his nose. “Then again, perhaps they prefer your company to mine. You tend to think of things more differently than we do. I imagine many are deprived of female companionship as well and have taken comfort in your presence. I must also admit that I can relate to what that feels like. It is a pleasant reprieve from an overabundance of testosterone.”

Y/N was focused on the piece of bandage around her thigh but turned her attention to him with surprise lining her features. “Wait a sec, are you saying that _ you _ find my presence _ comforting _? Since when?”

Thorin seemed to ponder honestly on her question. When _ had _he begun taking solace in Y/N’s company? He couldn’t recall, but there was a moment when he remembered something akin to hope that had tugged at him. Perhaps it was then? 

“The night you approached me in friendship at first camp. You told me that you thought I would make a wonderful king. I believe it was sometime afterward.” 

That was quite some time ago. She couldn’t help but whistle, though still quite unconvinced seeing as he practically fought her every step of the way.

“And those words are still true, _ your majesty_,” she bowed theatrically as much as her sitting position allowed.

“And now you mock me,” he smirked, catching on to her sarcasm to add a bit of his own. “What have I done to warrant such sass out of you, All Knowing Seer?” 

Y/N giggled and stretched her arms above her. “Oh, just by being yourself. What can I say, your brooding presence tends to bring out the clown in me,” she stuck her tongue out playfully at him. 

He shook his head and crossed his arms, amusement dancing across his features. “It appears my nephews, and Bofur, are a rather bad influence on your character. Who would have known such a wild spirit resided inside of you. I still faintly recall that frazzled, dainty woman who fell from colorful storm clouds in the Shire, convinced that we were all figments of her imagination. It is shocking that you and she are one in the same.”

“Dainty!” Y/N scoffed with a pout. 

Thorin unashamedly laughed at her for getting offended at that remark of all things. But it was the truth. That scared, presumably mad, woman from the Shire was long gone now. What stood before him these days was a brave, noble woman of strength and purpose. _ Mahal had chosen well, _ he thought to himself. He watched fondly as her fingers subconsciously drew patterns over her covered forearms where her moon runes were located. Thorin often found Y/N caressing them with care ever since they learned what they were. 

It was still a curious thing for their Maker to bless a human woman with such responsibility for his people. Thorin would occasionally think back to their subsequent transgressions from the start of their journey and could only feel ashamed to ever have doubted her or treat her as he did. If Mahal had deemed her fit to portray her role, who was Thorin to defy his judgement? Though, retrospectively, Thorin was still too proud to admit that out loud, least of all to her. 

Especially because, for the last couple days since his hazy dream of seeing his brother again, he stipulated that Y/N’s arrival might in fact have been a direct result of his prayers. He asked for a blessing on this quest and he received his answer; a companion to be their Savior and Guardian to his family line. Thorin had yet to discuss his thoughts on this to Balin, as he wasn’t even quite sure how he felt about it, himself. But it was the only thing that made sense to him. As a royal, he would be encouraged to marry or select a dwarrowdam per custom, but if Mahal were suggesting that she was the link to their bloodline, he wasn’t certain how to tread from here. There were still many secrets Y/N was keeping, after all. Perhaps that was one of them—

Thorin dismissed such pesky, “complicating” thoughts for another time. 

“Aye. And look at you now, as disobedient and _ dainty _as ever,” he teased. 

Y/N chuckled, the sound came out as a purr and she playfully nudged him with her shoulder, “Just doin’ my part to keep you on your toes.”

“You are trouble,” he sighed, purposefully nudging her back with more force. She wobbled theatrically in response.

“How dare you attack a poor, defenseless, injured woman!” 

Thorin looked down his nose at her. “‘Poor’ and ‘defenseless’ are an unbecoming choice of words of a woman of your stature.”

“And what is that supposed to mean.”

“I am trying to offer you a compliment. Be a good sport and take it.”

“I never was one for doing what I was told.”

“That is unfortunately true.”

“What’re you gonna do about it?” Y/N challenged.

Thorin seemed to bristle at her defiance and leaned forward, quirking an eyebrow. There was a new expression growing on his face that she had never seen before: playfulness. It seemed more at home on Fili and Kili’s faces than his own, but it made him look almost boyish. And very, very charming. She didn't trust it in the slightest. Y/N couldn't stop the blush heating the apple's of her cheeks as he grinned devilishly, showing a perfect set of teeth. 

“Is that an invitation?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In line with the above note, I'm going to try to continue updating every other week, but there's a good chance my next chapter(s) may be late. I'm also sorry for the shorter chapter this time around! If I didn't find a good stopping point, it would have resulted in being WAY too long and would have taken even longer to update and I didn't want to leave you guys hanging for too much longer. 
> 
> Anyhoo, this pandemic really sucks. As I'm sure it's done many others, it has also heavily impacted my life and people that I care about either mentally, financially, and/or physically -- working on this story has been one of the few joys I've gotten out of this quarantine. It's been one of the only slices of calm in the storm that is my head and I'm pleased to know that it brings you all joy during these unpredictable times, but unfortunately, I don't have as much time as I'd like to dedicate to writing anymore. Rest assured, this story is mah babeh and will not be abandoned, and I already have a good portion of the next chapter written since I had to cut this one in half, but it may take me slightly longer than usual to update moving forward. May not be right on schedule, but I will update as close to schedule as I can!
> 
> Thanks for reading my babble and understanding. I hope you all are staying safe and healthy and remembering to look after yourselves when things get to be too much! <3


	21. Pitter Patter Goes My Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made ittt! (Well, later in the day, but still on time!) Even though I had most of the chapter written already, I was worried I wouldn't be on time this week. *happy jig*
> 
> Annnd thank you to everyone who took the time to leave comments, kudos, and/or vote last chapter! It was fun seeing so many awesome suggestions. I decided to go with everyone’s first pick and there ended up being ties between 3 different sword names: Braveling, Thunderborn, and Avenger -- they had 2 votes each, so I stuck them into a randomizer wheel online and the winner was Thunderborn!  
[](https://ibb.co/S56bQD7)  

> 
> This particular chapter was difficult for me, but I hope you enjoy it! ;^; Please excuse any mistakes I may have missed during editing!

For a while, Dwalin heard little else save for a few owls comparing notes before their launch into the sky for their nightly hunt. It was hard for him to make out what breed of owl he was hearing, but his eyes scanned the area to see if he could catch a glimpse of one swooping down from the trees. 

Not that Dwalin cared one way or another, but he was itchin’ for something interesting to distract him from the restlessness in his bones. He knew he should get some sleep soon, but he was much too wired. Maybe it was because they were passing through the eye in the hurricane of danger, but Dwalin thrived on the thrill of battle, so their much needed slice of calm only proved to stir him up than relax him. Especially because he was worried their foes might catch up with them later down the line.

He watched as Kili begrudgingly tended his watch duty at his post, looking to be as discontent as he was. Fili had stopped by to chat with his brother for a bit before he left and Dwalin managed to snag the lad into an arm wrestling match to pass the time—which, of course, Dwalin had won. Five out of five, in fact, before Fili finally gave in whilst shaking his arm off. He was surprised at how strong he was for such a youngster. Fili almost got him the last two rounds.

But that was roughly half an hour ago. It still seemed too early for sleep; Thorin and Y/N hadn’t even finished their talk yet. Speaking of, Dwalin wondered if she finally decided on a name for her sword or if she was dragging her feet about it. He grumbled to himself at her naivety for asking someone else to name it for her, but he did find obliviousness somewhat charming.

Though Dwarves were very secretive folk, the Company was willing to impart certain details of their culture to her inquisitive mind and she took it in with rapt interest. Seemed only fair, since Mahal himself had chosen her to save and guard one of the first of the Dwarven families that were smithed into existence. The least they could do is give her insight on the people she was tasked to look after. 

While Dwalin reflected on the series of events of the journey thus far and how much longer until they’d reach their homeland, he caught sight of Balin making his way towards him. Dwalin gave him a head lift in greeting. 

“Got a case of the jitters, do ya?” his brother chuckled. 

Dwalin rolled his broad shoulders until they let out a satisfying pop. Then he went about cracking his neck and his knuckles. Then his spine. 

“Aye, can’t seem to stand still.”

Balin gave him a swift once over before leaning his weight against a nearby split tree stump in their camp clearing with a tired grunt.

“Happy feet often herald from a busy mind,” invited Balin. 

“Is that why yer still up?” Dwalin returned with a knowing smile. 

Balin nodded and lowered his voice from any prying ears, “Gandalf says he knows where we must travel to avoid our foes, but has yet to say where it is we are headed. Y/N hasn’t divulged any details on the matter, either. I’m sure she knows. It will only be a matter of time before they catch our scent again.”

Dwalin regarded his older brother with a side look. Balin was on edge, too, and he held a tone of disappointment as he said that. Considering how even though they left behind a generous distance, they were technically still being hunted down by Orcs. No matter how much distance was made between them, the fact that it was Azog was leading their foes, Dwalin understood why Balin felt uneasy with the secrecy. But if Y/N had any hunch that they were in danger, he knew that she would have told them, just as she had done in the past.

“I thought ye trusted her?” Dwalin pointed out. He would have expected him to inquest Gandalf, seeing all of his questionable choices he’s made and leaving them out of it on a leap of faith. This was the first time Balin questioned the lass since he learned of the runes in her arms. 

Balin’s head wobbled a bit as he gave a reluctant nod. “I do, I do. I’m just surprised that Thorin is more accepting about this. After all, we’ve no supplies, no rations; no ponies. Whether or not Y/N told him anything on where we’re headed, he’s been tight of lip lately and hasn’t shared a thing with me. Well, no more than usual.” They shared a jovial chortle at that. “But there hasn’t been a vision in some time. Normally, this would put Thorin on edge, but there’s a change in him now. He’s more composed, focused; less wary, though now I’m not sure if that is a wise frame of mind to be in or not.”

“It’s those talks of theirs,” Dwalin canted his head in the direction of the den. “She calms him.” The faintest of murmurs could be heard coming from its depths, but the den wasn’t so deep that it could reverberate a proper echo. Thorin never said anything about what they talked about in their meetings, and Dwalin never asked. All he cared about was what Thorin thought and if Thorin wasn’t worried, then neither was he. 

“More than that, I think,” Balin laughed, readjusting his pose on the stump. “Before we started on our journey, Thorin had a narrow, immovable focus on his goal. He wasn’t willing to listen to those who opposed him, and he wouldn’t allow room for negotiation. You know more than anyone that when the lad makes up his mind, there’s isn’t a soul could change it. He took more risks and gambled the consequences whether it was Gandalf advising him what to do, or Y/N. But now?” 

Balin paused long enough to sigh and drag a hand through his snow white hair. 

“Now there’s no tellin’ what’s going on in that head of his. Thorin isn’t a lad that is led, he leads. Always has.”

Dwalin narrowed his eyes at his brother, though not unkindly. “What are you sayin’?”

“I just find it interesting that Y/N is the only one in the Company Thorin is willing to follow, listen to and trust with full confidence; with good reason, make no mistake! But as I said, she hasn’t had a vision in a good long while and yet they still have these nightly meetings. The last time Thorin consulted with me about our next plan of action was well before the eagles came. I would be able to rest much more easily if I were kept in the loop.”

Dwalin smirked. “Ye remember that talk ya had with him at the caves? About how ye knew she was keeping details to herself, and that maybe there are certain things that aren’t for us to know—”

“—that aren’t for us to know,” Balin joined. “Aye. Suppose now I can understand a wee bit where Thorin’s mind was at that time. But as Durin Day approaches… we must get there in time! And he hasn’t even questioned the motives of Gandalf’s ominous direction.”

“We were run off course and Gandalf knows these lands better than we do. That wizard often gives us no choice but to follow ‘im blind,” Dwalin huffed in annoyance. He saw that Balin had more to say and gave him time to formulate his next thoughts. 

“Has Thorin changed at all to you?”

Dwalin crossed his arms and looked down at his brother. “Changed how?”

“Ye think maybe he’s become distracted by the girl?” 

Dwalin dedicated some honest thought on that for a good moment and eventually shrugged indifferently. “No. She was sent by our Maker. If that isn’t an omen what placates a king in a time of need, I don’t know what is. Personally, I’m happy he has a means to alleviate the burdens he carries.”

Balin hummed thoughtfully. He didn’t seem too satisfied with the answer, but he accepted it as a valid one as any. He couldn’t help but grow more and more anxious at each passing day. Their progress was slow and now with being hunted by Orcs, he felt as though Thorin might be more inclined to be urgent and steadfast instead of constantly looking to Y/N for answers. But then… isn’t that precisely the reason why she was there? Balin sighed.

“I need’ta take a piss,” Dwalin announced abruptly. It was his way of both ending the conversation and moving his legs before he went mad with restlessness.

Balin laughed through his nose and waved him off to get on with it. 

As he started away, Dwalin had to admit that he could understand where Balin was coming from. It was a shock to see a change in Thorin’s behavior, but it’s not like it happened overnight. Mahal, it didn’t even hardly happen after they validated the runes in Y/N’s arms and that happened so long ago! No, it occurred incrementally, over time. And he was glad for it. He knew Y/N would not lead them astray, and he admired her will to hold her own, even in front of Thorin. 

“Especially in front of Thorin,” Dwalin chuckled to himself. 

They still had a ways to go before they reached Erebor. Dwalin was happy to finally see her again, even if it was from a vast distance atop a carrock after a run in with Orc scum. He did believe the worst was behind them, but he was looking forward to kick some serious Orc—

Dwalin just happened to be passing by when he heard it. 

That high-pitched screech. Y/N’s screech, followed with a shrill, “Nooo!” Without thinking twice, and forgetting about his need to relieve himself, he charged into the den ready to fight whatever the hell was in there. In a fleeting moment of his quick thinking, he thought, _ What in the world could possibly be in there to attack them? _ He checked that den out himself and it was empty! Was there some nook or cranny he missed? Even if there was, Thorin was with her and was plenty capable of protecting her. Unless she injured herself again… Oh, Oin would have a conniption with that lass.

Whatever the case, Dwalin’s logic was when a maiden’s scream pierced the air, you ran to her aid, dealt with the danger, and asked questions later.

Maybe even get a good laugh out of it when it turned out to be all for nothing. 

But when Dwalin made it inside and towards the source, his feet halted and he struggled to comprehend a couple things he was seeing. For one, not only was there no peril or danger in sight, but Y/N was backed into the ground, one leg hiked up to Thorin’s waist, one arm holding him at a distance, the other up inside his coat. And Thorin’s arms were grasping her torso.

The two were… looking mighty cozy. 

In the few seconds it took the three of them to register one another’s presence, all at once, the two of them shoved away from each other and when it finally clicked just what he walked in on, the tips of Dwalin’s ears burned red and he audibly swallowed. 

“Pardon me,” he grumbled at them before swiftly turning heel and making a hasty exit back to the front of the den where a few Company members were starting to make their way inside. 

Dwalin didn’t even have time to marinate in his shock as he began shooing everyone away, forcing them to back up. 

As a barrage of ‘what’s wrongs’ and ‘what happened, is everything all rights’ came at him, Dwalin barricaded the opening with his body and ushered his concerned friends back to their business as nonchalantly as he could. 

“They’re both fine, nothin’ to worry about.”

Oin had his hand on the jar of mud he made that Gandalf was kind enough to give him. “Did she reopen those sutures _ again _?” he pressed, along with other discontented mutterings. 

“No. Just talkin’ is all.”

Oin’s eyes widened and his arms lifted in exasperation. “Walking?! She should be staying off the bloody thing!” 

“Talking, I said!” Dwalin reiterated loudly enough for Oin to hear. “Rest assured she’s… she’s off the leg.” And in the process of being mounted. Oh, it will take the jaws of life for Dwalin to dismiss that imagery from his memory. 

“Ah. Well, all right then.” 

Oin nodded, satisfied, before retreating back to his spot of rest. Dwalin met the eyes of everyone in camp, hoping nobody would notice his reddened ears or connect any dots somehow. Gandalf met his eye, he hadn’t even gotten up from where he was sitting and quirked an eyebrow at Dwalin. The Dwarf decided to refocus on the others. He didn’t know if wizards were able to read minds, and he surely didn’t want him to know what he saw. 

But on the upside, at least Dwalin now had something to do. 

* * * * *

Most of them reluctantly parted, trying (and failing) to get a glimpse of whatever was transpiring behind Dwalin, while a couple others lingered behind.

Bofur’s eyes found Bilbo’s and offered a beseeching look, knowing it was futile but willing to try anyway. Bilbo immediately responded with a slow, deliberate shake of his head, mouthing “no!” before he turned his attention elsewhere. 

Admittedly disappointed, Bofur’s eyes swung over to Fili next, who looked torn between perplexed and concerned when Dwalin shooed the remaining loiterers away and stood guard at the entrance, bulging his big muscles out to block anyone from daring so much as a peek. 

_ Very suspicious, _ Bofur thought. _ What in the blazes is going on in there? _

“I’ve never heard her make that sound before. What happened?” Fili asked Dwalin, a slight worry in his voice. 

Dwalin continued to impose his stance, staring down at the blonde haired prince with a stoic, firm expression. He wasn’t budging. Not even for him. 

“All’s fine. Off with ya, lad! They aren’t finished chattin’.”

“Correct me if I’m wrong,” Bofur muttered to Bombur while watching Fili stride away with everything but question marks circling his head like a halo. “But don’t chats involve much less, er, screaming?”

Bombur carelessly shrugged, his full attention absorbed in some leftovers he snagged. Cleanly and effectively picking the bones clean of any remaining meat. He responded in between picking with, “Didn’t sound so dire to me. I heard Thorin laughing earlier.”

“Thorin? Laughing?”

Bombur continued to munch away, not answering. Bofur jostled his brother’s meaty shoulder with little success in distracting him enough to rocket back to their conversation. 

“We are talkin’ of the same Thorin, aren’t we? Are ye sure?” 

Bofur wasn’t adverse to the notion that Thorin was capable of laughing—the lad wasn’t made entirely out of stone—but he’d never heard anything further than a grunt or short chuckle from the fellow. If was laughing, with Y/N of all people, he couldn’t help but wonder what they were up to.

The rotund Dwarf made a noncommittal sound, eyes intently scanning the remains of his handiwork to confirm that not a scrap of flesh was left. Only then did he finally acknowledge his brother. He tossed the bone over his shoulder. 

“S’what I heard. Wasn’t paying much mind to it.”

“Of course ye weren’t ye gluttonous fiend.” But Bofur’s senses were tingling. It wasn’t out of the ordinary for Thorin and Y/N to partake in their meetings with some level of enjoyment. They’ve been doing such for practically the length of the journey and they got along better now than they did in the past. Bofur never bothered to pay any mind to it since his main focus was on Fili and Y/N tiptoeing around each other.

But with Dwalin acting very suspiciously defensive, Bofur felt that he might just need to start averting his focus.

* * *

Back in the den, Y/N was making more sounds. But this time, she was keeping them on the DL, lest they get more visitors to blow things out of proportion. 

“Why the fuss? How was I to know you would react that way?”

Y/N stared at Thorin agog, finally tearing her reddened face from behind her hands. “How…? Have you never tickled anyone before? How else was I supposed to react?!”

Perturbed, Thorin scratched the side of his face. “My sister and brother always laughed or giggled when I did it, not scream like bloody murder.”

Remembering once more how loud she was, Y/N groaned and returned her face into her hands. She could hear her friends towards the front asking if she was okay and inquiring what happened, Oin threatening to come in, with Dwalin telling them as ‘nicely’ as he could for them to bugger off. Oh god, what it must have looked like to Dwalin when Thorin made her squirm and squeal her way on her back as she tried fruitlessly to both ward him off and retaliate as he tickled.

But Thorin, she came to find with utmost disappointment, was not ticklish. So her efforts were futile. Y/N recalled the look on Dwalin’s face and all the emotions she witnessed run through it: worry, recognition, shock, then coy understanding—or, in actuality, misunderstanding. Thinking he’d caught them in the midst of doing something unsightly. In an empty bear den. Alone. Where no one else could see. Y/N felt a brief respite in knowing that at least Dwalin wasn’t prone to gossip. If Bofur had been the one to run inside, or any of the Ri brothers, the story would likely be out and misinterpreted beyond repair by now.

“All things considered, I am glad that it was Dwalin who came in among the lot.” As if Thorin read her thoughts. 

Y/N glared at him through her fingers before lowering them. He quirked another eyebrow at her, though this time around it was less playful than the last and all the more mischievous. She wouldn’t be able to stay annoyed with him, she knew. As though he wasn’t outwardly bothered by the fact that Dwalin was most likely thinking that there was something going on. 

In order to distract her thoughts on how Thorin’s ministrations unknowingly resulted in her squirming against him, Y/N said, “You’re lucky you didn’t tear my stitches again. Oin was pissed off about it the first time around as it was.” Honestly? She didn’t even notice them, herself. She was too preoccupied with Thorin’s strong hands pinning her down as she was ruthlessly tickled. But now the itching from the healing mud was tingling her new, sensitive skin.

His eyes widened in concern at that.

“Forgive me, it slipped my mind.” A look of guilt washed away his smile and his eyes darted down to the carefully wrapped bandage on Y/N’s thigh. “How does it feel?”

She quirked her lip and gave the thigh a few experimental wiggles. “A little itchy, but fine.”

“May I check on it?”

“Sure…”

Thorin’s hands were very gentle as he unwrapped the cloth. He seemed satisfied when there wasn’t any sign of blood or tearing, and he rewrapped the wound, just as gently as before. 

“Well, now I know for the future to never do that again,” he expressed with a relieved, resolute sigh. Y/N hummed her avid agreement and threw in a pout for good measure. She jabbed him a few times in the side and, as expected, nothing became of it. 

“How come you’re not ticklish?” 

Thorin grinned again, the deep one that displayed his teeth. “I never have been. It proved a great advantage whenever my brother and I would play.”

“That is so unfair!”

“Anything goes when a couple of brothers wrestle.” 

Thorin’s tone was fond as he said this, but his eyes looked out in the distance, recalling a certain time and place that Y/N knew had to be a dear memory of his. To a time before usurping dragons and homelessness and loss had wormed their way into Thorin’s otherwise happy life. 

Now that she thought about it, everyone in the Company seemed to have some sort of memento from back home. Kili had the stone his mother gave him, Fili had his father’s dagger, Bombur had a letter from his wife that he stashed in his beard, Gloin had a pendant with his family’s portrait in it. Y/N had her lingerie, but lost her other clothes in the goblin town—sure, they weren’t anything of sentimental value, but it was something! All Thorin had was a key to his mountain and the hopes of everyone in the Company. It seemed like enough in her perspective (better than undergarments), but that didn’t mean it didn’t summon memories of more peaceful times in Thorin’s life.

“I miss him so…” The whisper came out so low and quiet that Y/N almost missed it entirely. 

Without even thinking, she reached out and took Thorin’s hand in her own. It was meant as a friendly, good-natured gesture, nothing more than an affectionate squeeze for support that maybe lingered on a little longer than one would deem appropriate. When it registered what she had done, to _ whom _she had done it to and so soon after the whole tickle debacle, Y/N quickly withdrew her hands, stumbling through her apology. 

Saying nothing, Thorin simply reached back over and brought her hand back into his, laying their clasped palms at rest between them where they sat. She looked questioningly to their joined hands and then to his face to gauge his expression, but he was very well composed and revealed nothing on what was really going on behind those blue eyes that already held an ocean of mystery behind them. But she could feel it. The silent ‘thank you’ he was communicating to her in the effort to comfort him.

The fact that they were actually holding hands—that _ Thorin _reached for her hand to hold in his—had upped her heart rate. But she quickly relaxed, though not without a flare of heat in her cheeks. She was thankful that the den was dark enough to mask it.

From beneath her palm she felt his thumb caressing back and forth before he abruptly proclaimed, “You have calluses.”

Suddenly embarrassed that he was able to notice, she tried yanking back her hand, but Thorin held on more firmly, refusing to let her go.

“It’s gross and bumpy, don’t touch it!” No matter how hard she tugged, Thorin kept his hold on her.

“There is nothing wrong with texture.”

Y/N managed a short laugh. “Yeah, sure, except when it involves hands.” 

His thumb instantly dropped from toying with the roughness on her skin, but Thorin’s hand remained on top of hers like an unsure weight. No doubt Thorin’s hands were nothing _but_ texture. _ Great, Y/N… good job. _ Worried that she offered him offense somehow, she quickly jumped back in before he could say anything, “Not _ all _hands collectively, of course! But… well, y’know, I guess what I meant was that a woman’s hands shouldn’t be rough like that… they should be soft and pleasing to touch.” 

Y/N had admittedly grown to dislike her newly formed calluses for rather selfish, girly reasons. And she was sure that when her thigh wound finally healed, she’d have an ugly scar there marring her otherwise smooth flesh. Scars and calluses. Not exactly the top standards for beauty that women looked forward to getting. 

“There is nothing wrong for a female to have a warrior’s hands. It instates your capability with handling a weapon—they are marks to wear with pride, not humility,” he explained as if this was absurdly obvious and tightened his hold on her hand with an affectionate squeeze to reassure her. 

“You are making excellent progress in your training and this—” he gently held her palm up for her to see, running his thumb across the width to open it up “—is the result of your hard work. Do not let it bring you shame.”

Her face flushed at his sudden compliment. Dwarves were very proud people and they boasted upon every scar, scrape, and ink they obtained and earned. Had she not been given first-hand insight on their behavior and way of thinking, she would have easily overlooked the compliment Thorin had paid her. He finally released her hand and she reviewed her hardened area of skin with new eyes. She still didn’t care for it aesthetically, but his reassurance felt nice. 

“Thank you, I never thought of it that way.” 

Thorin hummed fondly as she admired the calluses on her other hand which weren’t as pronounced as the one that Thorin held since her dominant hand bore the brunt of the weight of the weapons she trained with. 

“They look way better on you, though,” she retorted. He tilted his head at that, regarding his own hands in quiet consideration.

“My, how the years have flown. Sometimes I look at my hands and feel as though they belong to someone else. These hands are that of an old dwarrow. I do not remember my hands looking so… developed.” 

“It happens to everyone eventually,” Y/N sympathized, turning her hands over to admire the youthful elasticity of her skin still hanging on for dear life. She wondered how long it would be before the small wrinkles there became more visible to the eye. How long it would be until her first gray hair—if she hadn’t sprouted any already from the terrifying events she went through thus far, that is.

“I wouldn’t worry about that, you still look very refined and handsome. Totally not that old yet!” 

Thorin smirked and let out a scoff. “I am nowhere near as easy on the eyes as you are, little one. I am afraid the days of my prime have longed since passed me by. You, however, are yet a flower in bloom with your whole life ahead of you.”

That earned him a smile, but it was more of the distracted variety. 

Um. Was he out of his mind? Did he truly have no idea just how regal and handsome he is? Everything about him was so absurdly gorgeous and to hear him say how “old” he was seemed ridiculous to her. 

Y/N managed a laugh and made a show at gesturing to him from head to toe to express just how attractive he was all over. “Please, compared to you, I’m barely a blip on the radar. If we were made of light, you’d be a sun, and I’d be a flimsy, little candle.”

“You think so highly of me, yet so low of yourself. Why?” Thorin frowned, disapproval stark on his face. The question took her aback. Y/N knew self-deprecating comments were so beyond cute, but she couldn’t help but compare herself to Thorin’s grandness and feel so insignificant in comparison to him. It was a learned behavior she had been doing, and finding it difficult to quit, since she was back in her own world.

“I dunno…” She added after a moment’s cogitation, “I just never really had a positive view of myself, even when someone compliments me. All I can ever see is flaws.” 

His blue eyes were staring into the pair of hers like he was searching for something. Y/N felt her face warm at the intensity and she swallowed nervously in the awkward quiet. As if her mind wanted to torture her further in this already intimate setting, she thought of how Thorin had basically pinned her on the ground and the ache in her piqued in interest. 

“Close your eyes,” Thorin demanded after he finished whatever assessment he was making in that complicated brain of his. 

“What?” Yes, she heard him right. And Thorin didn’t bother to repeat his command. He waited. Y/N swallowed again, her defenses rising up all around her along with the anticipation on where he was getting at with this. She glared up at him through shy lashes.

“If you tickle me again...” 

The unconvincing warning held an empty threat, and they both knew it. But if Thorin tried to be sneaky, there was someone standing post at the mouth of the den that she could call in to rescue her if his hands got any funny ideas. Though, if she were to be honest, she totally wouldn’t have minded him having funny ideas—

He held up his hand, amusement clear on his face. “You have my word, no tickling. I have learned my lesson from that mistake.”

Y/N surveyed him with a stern eye and acquiesced with a long sigh, letting her eyes drift shut and delve her senses in a world of darkness and putting her trust in him. 

“I want you to imagine your version of what the paragon woman should be. Vision her physical attributes along with her core values and strengths.”

This exercise was easy for Y/N to do because she had often daydreamed of this fantasy woman that she held in high regard. She was everything Y/N wasn’t, but wished she could be. She was ever her constant competitor, always on a pedestal that was constantly much too high for her to ever dream of reaching. The woman Y/N saw made her green with jealousy every time she popped into her mind when she was already at a lowest low, as if to taunt her on all that she’d never be.

In a twist of irony, the imaginary woman Y/N admired most was the one she hated with every fiber of her being. 

Thorin’s voice reached her again, deep and soothing like a roaring fire on a cold night. “Now, imagine yourself in the way you would deem to be most beautiful, outside as well as in. Can you see her?”

“Yes.” 

“Does she resemble the first woman you pictured?” he asked.

“No.”

As the image of that abhorrently perfect woman faded away, Y/N saw herself appear as if she were looking into a mirror. Only the version of her she saw had smooth skin, hair that was never out of place, a more voluptuous body, expressive glittering eyes... But what really made her beautiful, more than even the despised fantasy woman, was the confidence. The Not Y/N she was looking at was radiating with it. 

“The woman I hope you see is the woman both myself and the Company see every day. She is loyal to her friends and herself, full of honor, and nigh on a foolishly willing heart.” Y/N raised her eyebrows to suggest that if her eyes were open, they’d be rolling. “She shines brighter than any sun, any star or treasure, and she is sitting right in front of me this very instant.”

Growing up in a society where everything about beauty was programmed into people through magazines and movies, telling men and women what was beautiful and what wasn’t, such soft words were often used to deceive or manipulate. But hearing Thorin say them had somehow summoned Y/N’s self-worth into focus. And for the first time in her life, she could finally see herself as others have so desperately tried to explain. Her perfect version of herself melted away and instead she was looking at herself as she was. Flaws and all. 

Biting back tears, Y/N’s brows creased together as warmth bloomed in her chest. She had to clench her fists tight and really focus to keep from crying. Without even knowing, Thorin had just handed her one of the most precious gifts a person could receive. The ability to see yourself for who you are through another person’s eyes. And Y/N was so relieved and happy at what she saw.

“Thank you,” she whispered. 

* * * * *

Thorin smiled back even though she couldn’t see it. His father had done this exercise with him once before when Thorin’s confidence in himself was at an all-time low. It was just the thing to set his mind straight again and to see the realization unfold right in front of his eyes as Y/N underwent that very exercise had filled Thorin with immense pride. He imagined that his father was also quite proud when he witnessed Thorin fully accepting himself, too. Just goes to show that everyone needed a lift, even anointed ones. 

Thorin watched mesmerized as Y/N continued to focus on herself, eyes still closed, getting acquainted with the woman she had probably never had the right sight to see before. And he arrived at a curious thought.

He wasn’t sure why it even crossed his mind, but he assumed it was born out of certain theories in the backburner of his mind. The ones he was saving for later deliberation. Perhaps he was caught up in the vulnerable moment of needing support and a bit of comfort, himself. Or maybe it was the loneliness he had felt growing inside of him since the day his brother died. It could just as easily have been his thoughts on the workings of Mahal’s will, and how he bestowed his blessing upon him that conjured this impulse Thorin felt growing. But what gave him the frame of mind to act on the thought was Bilbo’s unintentional slip up at the lake. 

Regardless of what the reason was, it felt like the right thing to do. 

Holding his breath, Thorin slowly leaned in until his lips ghosted over Y/N’s before pressing down on her cheek. His soft, short beard caressed her smooth skin in a pleasant tickle. He briefly pulled back to watch her face and see how she would react. When she didn’t show any signs of stopping him, his eyes drifted shut to plant a lingering kiss at the corner of her mouth, so close to her lips, to savor and fully register the sensation of warmth. 

Y/N gasped upon contact this time around, her eyes snapping open. Dumbstruck, she could only sit still in shock. Surely she was dreaming. Her eyes were open now, but did she happen to drift off into dreamland after Thorin told her to close her eyes initially? The bout of fireworks exploding in her ribcage along with the blast of heat that followed had told her otherwise. Thorin’s smell was in her nose with him being so close. He smelled a bit like the outdoors, from having walked in the sun all day, but his natural scent was earthy and something akin to that Oldspice soap her dad used. 

Thorin’s eyes danced in hers, seeking permission or refusal. When all Y/N could do was sit there gaping like a bewildered lamb with a predatory wolf, Thorin seized the opportunity of her stillness to take the liberty of drawing her in again, with Y/N too stunned to stop it. Having already felt increasingly sexually frustrated lately and starving for contact, any contact, as means for some relief, she allowed herself to fall victim to the carnal needs her body was deprived of in the wake of her self-esteemed resurgence.

Her mind seemed to be stuck on a loop of, _ holy shit, holy shit, holy shit! _And chose to simply dive in all the while conveniently forgetting the repercussions that would inevitably come with it.

* * *

Fili’s legs were dying to pace, but he settled for sitting down. He wished he had his pipe; his troubled mind could use a much needed vice to calm his spirits some. Alas, his pipe was confiscated and left behind in a goblin horde and even if he did have it, there was no pipeweed to smoke. 

He twirled one of his braids between his fingers, then arbitrarily fiddled with his moustache braid’s bead. He replayed his conversation with Kili over in his head, unable to decide on his next course of action, but ultimately leaned in favor of just talking with Y/N and expressing his worries. Maybe see if she might illuminate him on things she likes so he can work out another idea for a token of his affections. 

Kili had a point. Y/N would need to inevitably see him in both good light and bad, but he was so nervous that she’d see him as weak. She was always nice to him, he didn’t know what she really thought. Would it just be better to ask? Erebor was drawing nearer, he didn’t know how much longer he could drag this on before he missed his chance. He still had no idea what would become of her after the quest. Whatever happened, all Fili wanted was to be by her side. Even if it meant giving up a chance to sit on the throne. 

There was no clue how Thorin would react to that, but… Fili had a hunch that that discussion wouldn’t go very well. He eyed the den suspiciously. 

After hearing Y/N shriek, he worried she had hurt herself again. But Dwalin was blocking the entrance and Oin didn’t go inside. Dwalin wouldn’t let Fili in to check, he just shooed him off. He’d never done that before and Fili couldn’t help a dark, uneasy feeling from bubbling up in his chest. Sure, no one had ever bothered them during their talks before so everyone’s lack of concern was justified. But never had they needed someone to stand guard. 

Before his worries could get the better of him or his imagination could get carried away, Fili took a deep breath and regained his footing as he remembered how vehemently against Thorin was to Fili potentially sullying his family line with his “unbecoming, abrupt carefree behavior” and losing his head over a lass. Thorin wouldn’t go to the trouble of publicly reprimanding about propriety just to make a move, and he certainly didn’t express any sort of interest. 

Fili still was irked by the hug, but he was over it. And such reminders of Thorin being steadfast to his ways made him feel better about Fili’s insecurities and worries over his lass. 

As he waited for their meeting to finish, Fili pondered over which topics he’d like to discuss with Y/N for their own nightly talk while, as quick as they came, his worries were expeditiously forgotten.

* * *

This was improper. They should not be doing this. But at the same time, Thorin couldn’t find it in him to stop. His mouth pressed shyly on Y/N’s at first, testing the waters and her willingness to his sudden bold behavior. He would stop immediately if she showed any sign of resistance, but that was not the case here. Y/N enthusiastically melted under his touch, grabbing onto him for support, as if he were making her swoon—and if that wasn’t a stroke to his ego, he didn’t know what was.

He indulged himself in her taste with innocent trepidation. And as nice as it was, Thorin wondered if this was right. If this was what he was supposed to do. He’d never kissed anyone before, but it seemed a simple enough concept and it’s not like he hadn’t any idea how the act was performed. And Mahal help him, she _ moaned _. Oh, that sound had given him the needed relief that he wasn’t making a bigger arse of himself than he already was, and as her mouth worked his own in return, his mind shut off all other reasonable thought.

Thorin brought his hand up to cup her face and the other grasped the back of her neck as he got lost in the way her lips felt. Warm, plush, slightly moistened. 

The kisses grew slowly and incrementally from modest pecks to explorative meshing; their mouths opening, heads tilting. Thorin swallowed the sound when Y/N mewled into his mouth upon the entry of his tongue, just a small, experimental flick along her lip before he retreated. It was a rather exhilarating experience that a much younger Thorin would never have indulged for the sake of upholding propriety, but now that he was older and experiencing it firsthand, Thorin could understand why some upper class couples would steal away for secret meetings. And why chaperones were not an extinct concept in his home as a result. 

But he came to his senses when Y/N’s once dormant fingers tentatively sifted up from his neck and into his thick hair, then feathering over his short beard. When the pads of her fingers dove into its coarseness he tore away from her in a heavy gasp. He knew she had no way of knowing how intimate that gesture was for his people. Akin to foreplay, she had managed to caress him in such a sensual manner that sent a jolt of electricity straight down into his trousers, stirring his sex to attention. The only contact kept between them was his hands on her cheeks and her own tightly wound into the furs of his shoulders. Nobody had ever touched him there before. He felt himself flush. 

Thorin suddenly remembered the Company—and Dwalin—lay just ahead of them. Outside the den. Which… may or may not have been forgiving in carrying the sounds of what they were doing even if they were modest in volume. 

“We shouldn’t…” he whispered hoarsely, his darkened eyes glued onto her lips, torn at a curious resistance he couldn’t quite surpass in himself. He wanted to keep going, but something was holding him back. He wasn’t able to place the odd feeling… it’s not that he didn’t enjoy the kiss, but something wasn’t quite—

“We shouldn’t.” Her echo posed the idea of an invitation that he wanted to accept. 

And he dipped his face down to capture her lips once more. Thorin fought against the hum in his blood that told him to stop. His memory funneled back to the moment he saw those runes in her arms. In the back of his mind, he wondered if she had a greater purpose of being channeled to Middle Earth beyond her gift of Sight. But surely it wasn’t to snog him...

Good heavens, who would have thought that his first kiss would be with such a young, human lass from a foreign land. Conflicting emotions of trying to open himself to her while doing what was right and stopping waged war inside of him like wolves. He felt an odd detachment as he tried to side with his internal tug of war. 

Thorin was nearing three hundred years of age. Naturally, he had had his fair share of arousals and achieving satisfaction. He had lusted after very few, if any, in his younger years but was quite accustomed to the experience of it. However, those emotions were very easily thwarted when he shifted his focus to his duties and “more important matters”. He didn’t have time for romantic pursuits though he had grown up hearing all the proud tales both his Adad and other married men have told upon pleasuring their partners and the specific feeling they experienced when they were ready to claim them. But never had Thorin ever experienced it for himself. He had no idea what it was supposed to feel like or if he’d ever get a chance to experience it at all. And now that he had the opportunity, he was thrown for a spin for this human woman. Completely unprepared. 

Thorin had to admit that he was attracted to Y/N’s uniqueness, and it had been so long since he had the time or leisure to properly tend to his male needs. It was inevitable that this would come to pass and he’d be lying if her otherworldly human allure didn’t plant a fantasy or two in his mind.

But being with her like this now was different somehow… he felt oddly relaxed and content, despite the tightening of his trousers with his body’s natural response to such intimate stimulation.

Despite feeling almost giddy and excited, this was as far as Thorin was willing to go. There were deeply rooted customs and a sense of honor instilled in him since Dwarflinghood to act as his sword and shield. As such, Thorin would not succumb to these bodily temptations any further. Mahal... they weren’t even _ courting _ and he touched Y/N in ways that only a husband could... She was _ tainted _by him. This is how he thanked his Maker. 

All at once, Thorin felt a wave of shame crash over his heart. 

They shouldn’t have done this. _ He _should not have done that, he had no right and he knew better. With a heavy heart and the last remains of his honor he still had left, Thorin slid his hands down to Y/N’s shoulders and pulled away from her with a soft pop, holding the girl at arm’s length as they breathed deeply for air.

He was so overly guilty of his actions, despite his postulation on what Mahal’s possible intent for her being here was, and felt as if he had taken advantage of her or... by gods, sullied with his impulsive, theory-driven desire._ By Durin, what have I done? _ Thorin raised his gaze to hers and a coldness pierced through him when he met her eyes. Not knowing what else to do, he cupped her face.

“Oh, Y/N… I am so sorry, forgive me.”

“Huh, what?” she answered as if in a trance.

He used his large thumbs to swipe her cheeks when she realized that she was crying. 

* * * * *

Finally, after a few beats of unbearable awkwardness, Y/N avidly wiped at her face to remove traces of her spontaneous burst of tears that came out of nowhere land and tried to come to terms with the influx of various emotions that came in the aftermath of Thorin’s random act of spontaneity. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m crying,” she laughed nervously. Of all the ways to respond to being kissed by Thorin Oakenshield for the first time. This was not how Y/N pictured it. But she couldn’t help it, the tears just appeared. Her emotions had been topsy turvy and probably didn’t know how to properly deal with being kissed like that. 

Thorin’s brows furrowed in concern, looking at her with such a sorrowful expression that her pride felt needed defending somehow. She let out a sudden laugh she hoped sounded genuine and very, ‘I’m fine, really, I swear!’

“Well, that was unexpected. Um...” Y/N bit her lip unsurely, letting the sentence remain unfinished since she hoped he would provide her a valid reason for his sudden act of candor. Her hand hung off the back of her neck and she focused on the ground, waiting second by agonizing second for him to speak. 

“It was,” he concurred, revealing nothing. 

“Why did you do it?”

A million different answers clashed on his tongue and both flashed and disappeared from his eyes, but in the end Thorin said distantly, “I wanted to.”

They shared a moment of silence to curiously regard each other and soak in everything that happened when Thorin straightened, knowing what had to be said. He dreaded the words as they rose and fell from his lips. 

“Please understand,” he began carefully. “I do not regret the moment we shared in the slightest, but it cannot happen again.”

Y/N swallowed the lump of hurt forming in her throat with some difficulty and forced a smile, “That bad, huh?”

“Far from it. In truth, I haven’t felt such an inclination to kiss anyone in quite a many years. Too many than I care to admit, I might add.” She smirked at that. “But it does not make our actions any less improper.”

She wondered what he truly meant by that and how he went from ‘I wanted to kiss you’ to ‘It was improper’. They were both adults who fully consented. Was their kissing improper because of their difference in status? Was it because the Company was basically right around the corner? Was it because of her race or her age? Or was there some other Dwarven custom that got flung out the window without her knowing? _ Why bother kissing me at all then? _ In the end, all Y/N could do was ask why. 

“For one, in your human years, I am old enough to be your father. But more important still, I have a duty I must uphold to my people. They must come first above all else, including my own selfish desires. I cannot be led astray from the purpose of this quest. You must understand that.” 

Oh, she understood perfectly, but it still hurt to hear it. Of all ways to be rejected by somebody, it flat out sucked to have it done immediately after sharing a mind-blowing kiss with the one person you never thought would give you the time of day, and right after they boosted your self-esteem. 

But what was she supposed to do about it? Thorin apparently already made up his mind on the matter before they even had a chance to properly talk it through and what was frustrating was that his reasoning was entirely valid. Valid enough to leave very little room for protest without coming across as a whiny child. That and… what the hell? _ What about Fili? _ her mind screamed at the audacity.

In the outcome of their actions, after she was finally able to calm down, Y/N felt a stab of panic as her mind cleared. She shifted through a sudden pain in her heart as Fili’s smiling face came into view in her mind’s eye and her gut felt a ripple of guilt even though she didn’t technically do anything wrong.They weren’t together, but she felt like she cheated in a way. God, why was further injuring your already hurt ego the first go-to option after an emotional crisis? She may as well have grabbed a dagger and made her physical wound worse! 

Since she couldn’t very well run away, Y/N put on her big girl panties and simply nodded to express her agreement. “Of course, I understand. But for the record, I could care less about your age, you have this sort of...” She tried to gather the right words by waving her hand, but fell short with a breathy laugh. 

“Yes?” he intoned.

Blushing furiously, she mustered up the courage to be blunt. “You’re unreasonably attractive, I’m still a bit shocked that you… that we...” She waved her hands to demonstrate, unable to say it out loud. 

Thorin laughed through his nose and gave a coy smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, “You flatter me.” 

Y/N turned her face away from him, feeling a sort of uneasy tension swirling in the air, erasing all hints of the heat they shared during their swift moment of passion. 

“I’m sorry, I feel like this is my fault somehow…”

He shook his head, his voice all too understanding. “No, it was I who made the advance; I gave myself to you willingly, and relished every minute of it. You are quite the resplendent maiden, yourself. Any man would be a fool to deny your alluring feminine wiles.” 

She blushed at the husky tone he carried and suddenly felt very foolish and embarrassed. For denying her acclaimed “allure” was exactly what he did. Strangely, she wasn’t sure if she felt upset or more confused about her feelings for him than before. She was still feeling ugly about it because of Fili, but she felt almost intoxicated from the kiss that she couldn’t entirely get her thoughts or emotions straight. Y/N quickly smoothed down her hair and wiped the remaining traces of him from her mouth, wishing she could do the same with the situation. 

“Anyway, I’m gonna head back. I wouldn’t want to rouse any suspicions being gone for too long. Lord knows what Dwalin already has gotten into his head from earlier.” 

God, she could only hope her appearance didn’t give anything away. It was one thing for him to think something was going on and another that it wound up being true. She looked over her shoulder to see if there were any pairs of eyes watching, however luck was on their side. The den had a big body blocking the entrance. 

“I assure you, the thought will not even cross their minds. I have shown no interest in taking a lover for centuries.”

Amidst the thrum of newly explored territory with Thorin, her ache had risen from embers to flames and her hormones were left to spark and fizzle into ashes. If she didn’t feel like shit then, she certainly did now. What the hell was it they did then? Was she not good enough to be a lover or something? _ Maybe this was only a mutual attraction between us and nothing more, _ she thought. At least she knew where she stood before she got in too deep. Even though it felt to be too late for that considering they’d be forced to see each other every day...

“You should fix your hair.” 

She inclined her head to him at his disheveled locks that once accommodated her eager fingers. Y/N’s fingertips still tingled with the feel of him. His hair was thick and lush against her hands, and his beard? She didn’t know why she had such a desire to tug on it. Perhaps because she elicited such a delicious response from him the moment she touched him there, feeling him shudder and whimper. That carnal growl had still left her melting and wanting. Meanwhile, Thorin was cool as a cucumber. 

Completely unaffected. Annnd cue additional guilt. 

“Speak for yourself,” he countered darkly as he corrected his locks with ease. 

Her eyes widened in shock as she worked frantically to correct where she thought the evidence resided and he smiled at her, causing a sadness to settle inside of her chest. Y/N didn’t know how, but she knew that they would never share a special moment together like this ever again. Thorin obviously held no desire to continue or explore... whatever _ that _was. 

_ And maybe that’s for the best, _ she told herself. But this was something they would eventually need to discuss. 

Y/N blindly struggled to maintain her tousled locks and Thorin waited patiently for her before reaching up to assist, “Allow me.”

She flinched away from his hold and his hand stilled in the air, looking to her questioningly. Y/N turned her face away from him to fight back the tightening feeling that made its home between her ribs. “I’m sorry, I… god, what must you think of me?” she laughed dryly.

“I understand,” came the flat reply. 

Thorin found that it was probably for the best that he avoided touching her from now on. It was starting to become a natural inclination that he didn’t want to get accustomed to; he might slip up in front of the Company and he had to keep his mind straight. When she was done making herself presentable, he caught an expression she was trying to hide from him: remorse.

“All right, well, I’m heading back.” She started making a move to get to her feet again. 

“Y/N, wait,” he grabbed her elbow to stop her and then gingerly helped her to stand, not wanting her wound to be disturbed. “I deeply apologize for my behavior and any discomfort I have caused from it. My views of you, they remain unchanged. Despite what we have done, I do not want you to believe for an instant that I think any less of you as a woman. I do not intend for anyone to know what happened, and I will uphold your honor. This will remain between us, you have my word.”

If it weren’t for his serious intentions behind it, the sight of him holding out his pinky to her was silly and out of place in the gravity of the situation. Even so, she linked her pinky together with his and quickly pulled away. She wanted to get out there before her rational mind caught up with her. 

Y/N nodded, forcing another smile and feared the answer to her next question, “I know. Um… should we, uh. Should we stop spending time together then, you think?” 

Because if she got butterflies from just remembering a goddamn hug, then there was no way in hell she could face him again after locking lips. Especially since their talks required privacy. Having Balin there with them would seem suspicious and awkward, and no doubt that sagely old man would know something was up. 

Deep down, Thorin didn’t want to stop seeing her. He liked their talks and enjoyed her company. Controlling his desires to touch her would take an exceptional amount of iron will, but he knew he could do it. But no longer being welcome to her audience? Time and time again, no matter how hard he tried to shake it from his thoughts, despair and doubt had managed to find ways to attack him. And yet in the same manner, Y/N had time and time again returned hope to his heart—something he had grown to depend on to calm him and placate his pesky demons. He wasn’t sure if he could easily give that up, but he deeply gave her question some honest contemplation and weighed the options. There was much to think about before he should offer his answer, but tonight seemed to have been impulsive from the start. 

Thorin’s lips drifted up sadly as Y/N waited patiently. “I would find the ending of our meetings to be regrettable. However, it would be best to pretend this matter never happened. We will resume our talks just as we do now. Excluding this reckless behavior, of course.”

Y/N took a deep breath and managed the strength to grin before Thorin helped her to her feet. He and Y/N lingered in place at the back of the den, neither seemed willing to part from the other just yet.

“So, we just go on pretending it never happened?” Y/N sighed, staring straight ahead. 

Sure, their kissing wasn’t planned. _ He _started it. And the rest just... happened. And that was the main problem: the fact that it happened. But it stirred feelings for Thorin inside of her that she was only beginning to realize she had, not to mention adding a complicated twist to what had already begun for Fili. 

Even though they weren’t involved in any way and he most likely didn’t share her feelings, Y/N couldn’t help but feel like she had wronged Fili somehow and felt so bad about it. They all still had a long way to go before they reached Erebor, and she knew that this was something that would be kept strictly between her and Thorin, but they still had to face each other every single day holding in such a heavy secret. Fili was the only person she told her secrets to. But she couldn’t tell him about this... 

_ Christ, you really are nothing but a whore… _ Y/N chastised herself, recalling the troll king’s implication that didn’t seem as insulting now as it did then. Maybe that oaf was the real Seer out of the two of them. 

“Do you have regrets?” She heard Thorin ask in the quiet. 

“No. But…” _ I think I might have a huge thing for your nephew and I’m feeling like I just betrayed him even though he has no idea how I feel and I have no clue what he’d think if he found out you and I kissed, and oh by the way, I think I might like you, too, so now it’s more complicated. _

“Go on,” he encouraged gently before she could reconsider her words. 

She sighed and dragged a hand through her hair, effectively messing it up again. With an annoyed smack of her lips, she undid her hair and messily redid her look. There was no way she was telling Thorin about how she was feeling. Not for him and not for Fili. She felt bad enough about what happened as it is, and feeling like a cat in heat was not adding points to her maturity level at present. She needed time away to think. And, if possible, try to get in touch with that entity guy and demand more answers to her questions so she knows what the hell she’s supposed to do here. 

“I don’t know, I’m really confused.”

“Y/N, you and I both know that now is hardly the time or place for getting involved in any sort of…” he waved his hand to summon the word, “escapade. Even if we were to explore these urges, one thing may lead into another… we cannot lose sight of the importance of the quest and our duties to the Company. I will not risk the sake of it, no matter what we felt. The quest comes first without question. On that note: I will not allow any flights of fancy taking place to cloud our judgement.”

“Well, I hate to bust your chops, but one thing has _ already _led into another, don’t you think?” Y/N didn’t mean for it to come out as snappy as it did, but although Thorin was making perfect sense, she was already hot and bothered well before this. And Thorin had fed kindling to her growing inner fire because “he wanted to” and had the gull to just stop short and demand that he forbid any pursuit of romance on the journey. Y/N was not a woman who liked to be toyed with, especially after her history of men in the past. 

Thorin paused and turned to her, dumbfounded. She was still facing forward, but there was a fierceness in her eyes that he caught in the firelight that could reach them from outside that made his skin prickle in warning. It was like when Dis’ mood had shifted unfavorably and was about to let Thorin have it. 

He didn’t know what made her so displeased. Thorin was just trying to do right by her, but he never once stopped to think about how his actions would have affected her as a woman, or… as a whole. If Bilbo’s insight from the lake was anything to go by, it appeared that she hinted to him just now that she did have feelings for him. Was this her godsent purpose? Was she sent there for him? He wanted to reach out and comfort her but was afraid she would reject him again. He kept his hands to himself. 

“You have given thought to us... together?”

A fleeting look of panic made its way into her face that he was sure he was not supposed to see. Y/N locked her eyes with his, her jaw was set, and he could tell she was still embarrassed but he couldn’t read her expression. 

It became apparent to Y/N then that Thorin had no clue at all how she felt about what happened or how hurtful his words were. But she felt she was kidding herself. After all, he didn’t see a future with her; not now and probably not after reclaiming Erebor. She’d be a fool to linger on such thoughts and she refused to uselessly pine over the “what ifs” like a weepy child. He was right, now was not the time for romance. With anybody for that matter. Look how a mere taste of it resulted! 

Before she could dwell on her bruised ego, she still felt oddly refreshed in her self-esteem. After seeing herself for who she was, knowing that she did have the capacity to be a confident and beautiful person, she wouldn’t allow herself to fall victim to her insecurities anymore. Especially not over a man. Or Dwarf. Whatever. 

She kicked up her chin, her voice clear. 

“According to you, there isn’t an ‘us’ to be had, is there? Don’t worry, this won’t change our current relationship, and I agree with everything you said.” 

Thorin stiffened a little at her tone.

“I cannot help but feel that I have caused you upset,” he pushed, trying to lead the conversation so that they could part on less acrimonious terms. She had still not fully answered his question, and it only proved to summon more questions he couldn’t bring himself to properly form without setting her off. 

She promptly shook her head. “Really, Thorin, it’s fine. It was the heat of the moment and we got tangled up in it, that’s it—nothing more, nothing less. I’m not expecting anything from you now or in the future. So, there’s no reason to throw us off course or get our panties in a bunch. We both have our jobs to do and we both should be focused on that, not a fleeting moment of passion.” 

Thorin would have thought to feel relief at her words, but instead he just felt worse. If she _ had _ever considered courting him, was the chance unattainable and ruined now? Or had he dishonored her in some way to alter her views of him? Maybe she never felt that way about him at all and he misunderstood Mahal’s intentions. Thorin was skilled in many areas in life, but talking to women was not among them. He wanted to fix the rift he felt forming but had the sense to know that now was not the right time. 

_ I should never have kissed her... _

Thorin numbly placed his hand on her arm, she didn’t pull away this time. “I cannot give you what you seek while on this quest.”

“You don’t know what I seek or why I’m here.” 

Then without another word or passing glance, Y/N tore away from his side to join their friends at the camp, leaving Thorin behind to take in everything that transpired. Dwalin heard her approach and stepped aside to let her pass once she got close. Passing over the threshold, Y/N immediately jumped to life and tangled herself into the shenanigans taking place at Nori’s animated circle, being welcomed with warm smiles and invitations to sit by his brothers and Bifur.

Thorin’s eyes followed her every move until she sat herself down beside Ori in the gathering and only then did he join Dwalin, who still stood guard at the entrance waiting for him. Thorin tried to ignore the emptiness growing like weeds in his chest. It felt like he had offered a grave misservice. Like he had been wrong about everything and could only grasp blindly for a solution to make it right between them again. 

Perhaps this was why Y/N had never told him everything about what she knew… This is what resulted when Thorin took charge and tried to control the situation. 

_ I should never have kissed her. _

Dwalin nodded his head to his kin in acknowledgement and the two stood in silence with Thorin stewing on his exchange of words with the lass while trying to think up what to say to Dwalin for earlier. Whether or not he expected an explanation.

There was only the briefest of pauses before Thorin cleared his throat. "What you thought you saw—"

"Will remain between us," Dwalin interrupted. Thorin was in no mood to argue or correct him of his misinterpretations, but at least he could trust him to keep quiet. 

Thorin exhaled and nodded gratefully. But out of his peripherals, he saw Dwalin contemplating. He knew there was something he wanted to say. When Dwalin let out a light cough, Thorin waited patiently, bracing himself. 

“Everythin’ all right?” he asked after a moment or two. 

Thorin hummed in response. No, everything was far from all right. 

He couldn’t stop thinking about what they did. How—despite him feeling out of sorts about it—kissing her felt. How wrong it seemed when they parted ways the way that they did. He wasn’t sure if he said the right things, but he knew he at least did the right thing in stopping them before they got out of hand. The fact that she may have actually thought about courting him made him feel all the worse for his actions. Why did he do that? Why in Durin’s name did he think that would be acceptable? It was unbecoming of his position, his status! His eyes landed on Fili and he cursed, feeling like Middle Earth’s biggest hypocrite. 

As he pieced together the little bits of what he understood of the situation, sorting through all the ‘whys’, he realized that he needed a confidant in this. Thorin’s eyes sought out Balin, wondering if he should seek his counsel and get his thoughts. Without divulging what they did. And considering what Dwalin thought he saw—

“Ye seem… off from when I last, er, checked on ya. Did the two of ye get into a spat?” There was honest concern in his voice that made him feel all the more sour. 

“A matter needed tending to, that is all.” 

And it was. He had to do the right thing for the both of them and she acknowledged and accepted that. There were no expectations for follow up requests, no future obligations to fulfill until all was said and done. This wasn’t the time nor place to indulge in desires of the flesh or partake in romance. This was for the best.

Wasn’t it…?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELL! Some stuff sure happened in this chapter, huh? Writing it was certainly an... experience. Like, I felt like I was typing with one hand while hiding and peeking through the other through this emotional roller coaster that just climbed steadily and dipped without warning. Anyhooo, I think Y/N is due for a divine visit soon, don't ya think? ;D


	22. If You Want the Rainbow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY. AT LONG LAST! Get ready for the chapter that goes on forever (well, for 24,107 words, at least).
> 
> Sorry for the super long delay, guys (and thank you for your patience)! For the sake of being real while avoiding a Dear Diary moment, I won’t go into the gory details of my unrelenting stressful time. But I did want to thank you all for understanding whenever I need to take time to build up my mental well being!
> 
> Writing this story and hanging with our Dwarves, even though in a fictional sense, brings me such joy and I’m super happy whenever you all express how much you’re liking the story development and how it also gives you all a break from your troubles in this wacka-doo life we live. Everyone needs a means to escape our hectic realities for a moment and even though I’ve been super behind lately, I’ve been writing, adding, and editing my chapter(s) every day because I love this story so much and need this fantastical sanctuary I’ve built. That’s why this chapter is particularly long! ^^; 
> 
> I’ll do my best to get back in the groove of updating as routinely as I’m able (as time allows), but thank you again to everyone for your patience when I'm unable to! Reading and engaging with your comments and thoughts has been so uplifting, I had no idea how my story would be received when I first wrote it and it’s continuously been a humbling experience. Anyhoo, I hope you all are staying well and healthy and making sure to take care of yourselves! Find your safe havens, wherever they may be, and indulge in the things that bring you happiness! And as inspired by the Annette Hanshaw song I selected for the title, remember when times get tough: if we want the rainbow, we must have the rain! :)
> 
> Enjoy and please excuse any mistakes I may have missed during editing.

As torn, confused and conflicted as she felt about what happened earlier that night, Y/N clung to the comfort in the reliability of Fili during the aftermath of her entanglement with Thorin; her feelings for Fili were familiar, safe. Untouched ground that had cultivated slowly and steadily through the process of time and the natural course of friendship. Far beyond complicated. Her feelings for Thorin, however, appeared like wildfire and grew as fast as one could spread after they shared that new level of intimacy. Much like a fire, she hoped the feelings for him and the kiss they shared wouldn't consume her. Since Fili remained a steady, heroic constant in her ever hectic life in Middle Earth, she hoped (rather selfishly, she realized) that he might save her from the burn. Even if it was indirectly.

Flashes of Thorin’s mouth on hers kept clouding Y/N’s vision and she zoned out on her interactions with the group numerous times without her intention. Thankfully, Nori and the others didn’t seem to notice, they were too occupied engaging themselves into the outlandish tales he was telling, correcting him and calling him out for over embellishing; completely oblivious to the fact that their king’s lips had molded over hers just under an hour ago.

Fili sat beside Y/N shortly after she joined the group and worried butterflies were doing somersaults in her rib cage as her guilty conscience was paranoid that he had to have known what happened somehow. All the while their stories were being exchanged, she expected him to look at her with disappointment and disgust. Or hurt… 

She waited on pins and needles for him to ask to talk about it, or pull her away and confront her about what she did with his uncle in that den. But as more time passed, Fili did no such thing. Everything was normal. She was the one who was freaking out. Still… the anxiety of figuring it would only be a matter of time lingered over Y/N’s head with additional weight she did not need. She felt both exhausted and restless. And so very guilty… It just goes to show that having feelings for two people was a mess nobody should ever find themselves tangled up in.

It was laughable how easy it was for Thorin to be able to both build her up and let her fall all in the same time span. But she refused to let him have any kind of power over her like that. With his delicious lips, handsome, broody face, strong build, sexy, penetrating stare and—

Good lord, Y/N prayed for the strength that she wouldn’t let slip of what happened. Thorin expected her to behave normally, but whereas he could easily go on pretending nothing happened, she was reminded once more why getting involved with him would be a huge mistake. She had feelings for Thorin that sent her emotions in a flurry but he didn’t even see a future with her, and obviously had no intentions of talking about the intimate moment they shared to even explore the possibility of one. He both started and ended what Y/N could only ever fantasize about without her say. Y/N snuck a glance Thorin’s way and found him casually speaking to Dwalin. Likely having already forgotten the whole thing and having zero idea the impact he had left on her. Based on their facial expressions, they may as well have been talking about the weather. Hell, they probably were.

_ Damn you, Thorin! Why did you do this to me? _

Y/N didn’t realize she had been glaring until she met eyes with Bofur who gave her a curious, inviting look from across the way. A look that she assumed translated to, ‘something on your mind?’ She returned the concern with a forced smile and shook her head. He grinned back and shrugged his shoulders, not minding her decline and soon returned his attention back to Nori, joining in with a whooping laugh.

Okay, she needed time to decompress and control herself better before someone else caught on. Taking a glance up at the sky, and keeping her dour sigh to herself, Y/N figured it was late enough to at least attempt to sleep the rest of this wacky night off and made a move to stand. She was surprised at how good she was at using one leg, but Fili was quicker to his feet to assist her the rest of the way, with Ori offering his support as well from her other side. 

“Here,” Fili said, aiding her with the help of his hand to keep her steady. 

He seemed especially keen tonight to follow her to their usual routine of their own nightly discussions, and even though her first impulse was to talk with him until way late into the night, she needed some time for herself to sort her thoughts and get her emotions under control. If Bofur was able to catch her glaring, Fili would likely be way more susceptible to her fragile mood and ask her about it. And she would be tempted to crack into a horrible lie that he would no doubt see through. 

“Thanks. Listen, I’m gonna get to sleep, I’m pretty beat.”

Y/N’s heart quaked in her chest watching Fili’s face fall a little in disappointment. But the look passed swiftly over his handsome face and settled into a sweet, understanding smile that only served to make her feel worse about why she needed time alone and what she promised to keep from him.

“Okay, I’ll walk you to your spot.”

“Nah, it’s fine, I can use the exercise. I don’t wanna have all strength in one leg and a weak lil noodle in the other,” she chuckled, hoping her dismissal drew as little suspicion as possible. Rejected once again, Fili could only suck it up and smile and nod so as not to display how discouraged he felt for how their time together was suddenly postponed.

“Of course. Sleep well, Just Y/N.”

_ Just, huh? There was nothing just about any of this. _

She spared him a tired smile in passing over her shoulder as she hobbled away. 

“Night.”

Bofur watched the interaction between them and the wheels starting turning in his head. He knew something changed. Y/N and Fili always had a little talk of their own before they went to sleep for the night. Fili didn’t appear bothered when he returned to the circle. But the lass seemed to have something on her mind the entire time; she was distracted. Three guesses as to why. 

He looked over to Thorin and wondered for the thousandth time what in the world happened in that den and then longed for his Hobbit mate to speculate about it with him. But perhaps his little friend had a point… it was none of his business.

Bofur’s eyes sought Bilbo in his spot at camp and lingered a moment, letting out a forlorn sigh.

* * * * *

Much later, Fili found himself cuddling up to the throes of insomnia. No matter what he did, sleep just could not find him. He was still admittedly disappointed that his nightly routine with Y/N was disrupted unexpectedly, but he didn’t hold it against her. She’d been through quite the ordeal of late and she needed proper rest to aid in her swift recovery.

And besides, he still needed more time to prepare what he wanted to say. To plan how he could broach the subject of opening up and becoming vulnerable. Or even muster the courage to tell her how he felt if given the proper opening. He decided to mingle with his companions a while longer as his thoughts turned to favorable outcomes of his endeavors which he knew would do nothing but spur on his rather scandalous dreams of late.

By the time he was ready for sleep, Y/N was already out like a candle in the wind. He admired her in private with a soft smile but frowned when he took a closer look at her sleeping form. She had gotten thinner from when they first met. And the area around Y/N’s eyes had gotten a bit darker. Fili felt a twist in his gut and admonished himself for not noticing this until now. 

The stress and pressure of the trip was starting to get to her. And being the tough lass that she was, she didn’t complain once. Y/N also seemed the type of soul whose first impulse was to endure rather than release; likely having a point to prove that yes, she could do this journey just like the rest of them. Seeing this unfold before him as an outside perspective, Fili could now make more sense of the talk Kili had with him about opening up. 

Fili wouldn’t see Y/N as weak for unloading the burdens of her mind with him. In fact, he’d feel honored. Would she perhaps feel the same if he unloaded his own burdens?

It was something he was surprised to find that he wanted to do. But first, he had to tend to her well-being. He certainly wasn’t fairing any better, having gotten leaner, himself. But Fili was going to make it a point to share his food with Y/N to try to put more weight back on her bones. He had to resist the urge to brush her hair out of her eyes, and place his coat over her body to keep her warm, and press a kiss against her brow as he wished her sweet dreams. Hoping that perhaps he might appear in them.

Since he knew he couldn’t do any of those things, Fili settled into his own sleeping spot nearby and had nothing but tossing and turning to look forward to for the remainder of the night. A part of him wanted to keep Kili company, but his brother was being punished for reopening her stitches and would be tired from his watch and would likely just want to head straight to sleep. So he decided against that idea and continued laying there restlessly with thoughts of a woman occupying his mind. 

Sounds of insects and snores filled the air around camp with the occasional crackle of the fire adding to the ambiance of rest. Usually, the sounds of the bugs chirping soothed him, but Fili’s mind was much too busy to grant him any sort of peace. As his mind delved from one random stream of consciousness to another, a sobering thought was left to simmer in the back burner of his mind. It was something he couldn't help but think about every once in a while. Especially at night, when one was left to nothing but their thoughts, fears, and worries in the descended quiet.

Unless Y/N found a way to prevent it from happening, one of them would perish in the quest. 

"But who?" he asked himself, still not quite wanting to know the answer. As curious as Fili was, that was knowledge that he still had no desire to acquire.

Gods, the thought of any of them losing their life way before their time was enough to make Fili sick to his stomach. Since the day Kili was born, Fili instantly fell in love with him and settled into his role as big brother seamlessly, vowing to protect him from everything and anyone who would mean Kili harm. No matter how old Kili got, Fili would always feel protective of him and look out for him. That’s what family does for each other, after all. 

And Thorin was someone he always looked up to. Though Fili remembered bits and pieces of his father and loved him dearly, Thorin was the one who ultimately raised him to be the dwarrow he is today; grooming Fili to one day walk in his footsteps. Fili’s predecessor and role model. 

As a family Dwarf, Fili would give his life for either of his kin no questions asked. But then there was another factor to this equation: what if Fili was the one fated to die?

It threw his morals and sense of duty out of balance; he would honorably give his life so that others would live, but a selfish part of him wanted to live out a life with Y/N in it. You couldn’t very well do that if you were dead. There was so much he wanted to share with her and the thought of never getting a chance to do so was rather distressing. Mahal, he hadn’t even told her how he felt yet! If he died without even accomplishing _ that _minute task, then was he even living at all?

_ You’re being a coward, _ he told himself. _ Trying to find excuses to delay what needs to be said because you aren’t sure if she’d feel the same way. She’s your friend, isn’t she? And Y/N obviously likes you to _ some _ extent. _

“But what can I offer her in token of my affections?” He meditated on the thought. Would she even care if he didn’t offer a gift along with his declaration? Is that how the men in her world did it? Since he hadn't the foggiest, his only go-to was the ways of his people. She was precious to him, and he wanted to give her something to express just how much he valued and wanted her to be a part of his family—

An idea exploded out of nowhere, the answer obvious all along. “That’s it!” he beamed. And thankfully, unlike his previous gifts, he didn’t need to devote hardly any time on it at all, but the meaning would be there. 

Hands locked in place across his chest, Fili turned his head to look at her. She was facing him and sleeping very hard; her jaw was slack, lips parted ever so slightly, face muscles relaxed as she breathed in deep, even breaths. She was so beautiful, it was hardly even fair. He would love to be the one privileged to wake up every morning next to this sight. Watching his beauty from afar, his arms ached to hold her, but alas, they would wait until tomorrow when they traveled. If there was one thing that was good about the wound in Y/N's leg was that she had to stay off of it. Plenty excuse enough to gather her up to hold her close, where she was safe. Fili’s eyes caressed Y/N’s face, her hair, her neck, then ventured down to where her injury was.

Just a few more days and then it would be fully healed. But what if something happened before then? What if she got hurt again? Or worse...

No. Fili wouldn't let that happen. True to his word, he'd die before anything touched her. 

But you never knew when your last moment would be. Fili found himself suddenly thinking of his father, who most assuredly didn’t expect to die on the battlements when he did. He wondered, if his father had somehow known he wouldn’t return to his family, if he would have done anything differently before he left. Would he have spent more time with his wife? With him? Would he have said anything differently other than a farewell with a promise to return safely?

_ How many words or tasks were pushed aside to be saved for when Adad returned? _

Fili himself had a few things he’d been putting off for later for some irrelevant reason or another. But the thing was, no one ever anticipates death, least of all their own, to strike at its fancy. But it can. Death wasn’t bias on who it took or when. And Y/N had reminded Fili every now and then that you should always live to your fullest and take those chances, because... there may not ever be a later for your unfinished business. 

As he watched his One sleep, Fili felt a swell of determination building in him that he hoped would blossom into lasting courage. Some people never get their ‘later’ and he didn’t want to be among the unfortunate souls who travel within the Great Halls with eternal earthly regrets. As Fili’s mind finally settled into a small, welcome calm, he whispered a resolute promise to the space between them that drifted up into the night like embers.

“No more waiting.”

* * *

Among the many mysteries Y/N had been struggling to solve while in this foreign land, there was one that remained most prominent: she still had no recollection of The Day Before. 

What exactly happened that day that had her being funneled through inter-dimensional storm clouds onto Bilbo’s front lawn from another universe? And how?

Y/N remembered virtually any other day in her world, however. Most of which consisted of her waking up annoyed for being plagued with the same depressing goddamn dream of fantastical people whom she had never seen before. Always bringing her to tears as she helplessly watched over them through their quest and death, then the usual morning routine before work, the actual soul-sucking day of work, binging some Netflix after a quick dinner a little longer than responsibly appropriate, then hitting the hay. On the weekends, she would see her therapist to help her make sense of these dreams, but only accounted for dwindling a good chunk of her paycheck with no “cure” in sight.

And… rinse and repeat. For the most part, there was nothing special about her days at all. Hell, there was nothing special about her _ life_. So you’d think she’d remember something as significant as traveling through wormholes or something. 

Back then, every lonely day seemed to be exactly the same as the other lonely days of her life. She knew she needed a change but she didn’t know what, but she always felt that there was something more for her out there. Somewhere. If the dreams weren’t so vivid and disheartening, she might have looked forward to them every night as a means to quench the void she had. Middle Earth was a beautiful land and these Dwarves, and Hobbit, seemed quite the pleasant company. 

As Y/N heard their laughter and some name calling sound from behind her, she smiled to herself. She really loved those guys. 

Thinking back on all that transpired, Y/N thought her memories would return in time, but she was in no better position today then she was the moment she comprehended what she was meant for in this land. And as the days continued to pass on, she couldn’t help but wonder...

What happened? What happened The Day Before and why couldn’t she remember any of it? If she wasn't so tired and exhausted from this emotionally trying day, her mind would have kept her up with endless possibilities and theories. But as luck would have it, sleep and luck would find her quickly. 

When her eyes finally drifted shut and she was whisked away to dreamland for the night, Y/N would finally gain a clue. 

* * * * *

“What can I do for ya, laddie?” Balin inquired when he saw Thorin approaching him. His friendly smile soon melted into a serious expression when he caught sight of Thorin’s eyes. Dwalin was just behind him and his brother’s uncharacteristic behavior in avoiding eye contact had Balin sitting up straighter. 

“What is it?” Balin asked, trying to mask the worry in his voice even though his face very much gave it away. When he made a move to stand, Thorin waved him back down, and sat across with a heavy plop. Dwalin took a spot beside his brother, the three of them forming a tight triangle. 

“I needed to ask your honest opinion on something.” 

Balin’s stare jumped between Thorin and Dwalin and he wasn’t sure what to make of the suspense that came with this heavy air they were carrying but knew it was of importance. 

“Well, out with it, then.”

Thorin leaned close and dropped his voice as he addressed both of them with a stern finger. “What we are about to discuss is not to leave this circle.” 

Dwalin responded, “You have my word.”

“And mine,” Balin added carefully. 

Thorin gave a nod of appreciation and then drew in a breath of composure. Through his impeccable skill of deductive reasoning that had served to elevate Balin’s status as the king’s unofficial advisor, he had a hunch on what the topic of this discussion would be about. Balin’s eyes whisked over to where the girl was resting and then focused back on his king wondering if he had news to share about a vision on the horizon. He fleetingly wondered why Gandalf wasn’t permitted in this small council and why Dwalin was allowed to join and felt himself grow uneasy, anticipating the worst possible scenarios. Had Dwalin mentioned something to Thorin based on what the two of them spoke about from earlier? If that was the case, Balin braced himself for bad news that Thorin didn’t initially want to share.

Thorin began with, “I have speculated on this for quite some time and would be grateful for your input.” Balin nodded for him to go on, holding his breath without meaning to. “Do you think that Mahal had another purpose for bringing Y/N here?”

The breath was released. He was certain there was a level of seriousness to this discussion, so he didn’t bask in the momentary relief of no bad news just yet. Furthermore, that question threw him off. If Thorin had asked him this at the beginning of their quest, his answer would have been yes. But since they were illuminated to the sacred markings on Y/N’s arms, Balin hadn’t given the matter any further thought. 

“Let’s start with what you’ve arrived at so far,” Balin countered, hoping that Thorin didn’t just now discover any ill-intent from the lass. Balin thought it was unlikely, but a valid cause of concern with keeping to himself unless he was sure. 

Thorin now held both of their rapt attention. The sounds of the Ri family arguing over Nori’s outlandish tales were still ongoing, providing an excellent source of white noise to give the three of them the privacy Thorin commanded. 

“I may have a reason to believe that she was gifted to me—personally—for this quest.”

Balin blew out another breath and leaned back on his spine to marinate on that for a moment. Well, that was unexpected. He spotted Dwalin focusing his eyes on his boots as a tint of redness blossomed at the tips of his ears. And as Balin recalled how quickly Dwalin sprang out of the den after Y/N’s shriek earlier, he put two and two together and felt a surge of surprise wash over him to replace the dread he felt at their sudden approach. A sort of outlandish thought popped into his mind then that almost made him laugh out loud if they weren’t so austere in expression.

_ Were Thorin and Y/N _ involved_?! _He didn’t want to assume, but it was hard for it to make a certain sense if he really thought about it. However, in terms of if Mahal willed their partnership, that was a whole other matter. Balin cleared his throat and leaned forward, clasping his hands together over his knees, hoping to gain some understanding and a thorough explanation.

"Gifted to you as in a 'concomitant' of sorts?" Balin tested. 

"Perhaps."

“And did anything happen between you to bring you to this conclusion of yours?”

Now Thorin averted his eyes. “That is private,” he answered calmly. 

“Laddie,” Balin began gently, hoping to reason more than vague answers from the fellow. “I swear on the length of my beard that I will not judge you; all you will receive from me is my respect and my support. But if ya want my advice and input, the more you tell me the better I can help.”

Thorin took another heaving sigh and licked his lips, his eyes lifting to the night sky. 

“When we were at Master Baggins’ home the night before we left, I prayed to Mahal beseeching him to bless this quest because I understood the risks I was asking everyone to take. I prayed for him to guide me and protect you all should I fail to do so. Then immediately after, colorful storm clouds rolled in and along came our Seer out of its spoils with the markings of the Maker himself in her skin. The Savior and Guardian of the line of Durin, quite the deliberate message.”

Dwalin visibly shuddered. He was always heavily superstitious and even though he knew Y/N was anointed by Mahal, the thought still gave him chills whenever it was said out loud. 

He respectfully interjected with, “And she’s been guiding us true for the entire journey. Everything she’s predicted came to pass!”

Balin waited for Thorin to add on to his assessment, but when nothing came, he surveyed him closely. Thorin was brought up by a prestigious, political background that often demanded him to remain stone faced through adversity and trying situations in front of his councilmen and subjects (as much as a Dwarf could) and answer tactfully. And as a warrior, his mind had to also be disciplined to never divulge his emotions that would give him away. But Balin knew Thorin was hot tempered and quite easily one of the most sensitive souls he knew. And he’s known him since he was a wee lad. 

As such, Balin knew when Thorin had a mask on. And though he didn’t want to pry for any of the gory, personal details, he needed to know where Thorin’s mind was at if he wanted to get honest conjecture. Especially if he was hinting at possibly making Y/N his consort because he ‘believed’ Mahal willed it. By gods, maybe he _ was _distracted by her after all.

Balin asked, “How do ye figure there’s more to it beyond the runes?”

“Nothing, save for our nightly discussions. However, as she and I have grown to know each other, she has time and time again proclaimed herself loyal to my cause in words and actions. And with everything that has happened thus far, it may be fated to be.” Thorin’s stoic face revealed nothing, neither did his tone.

“In other words, yer sayin’ that you believe Mahal wants Y/N by yer side?”

Thorin said nothing, but his silence was answer enough. 

The old Dwarf leveled his stare on Thorin’s stubbornness. “What yer suggestin’ is mighty serious business and cannot be taken lightly.” 

Not to mention complicated. If he were just a run of the mill dwarrow, Balin would have sent his blessings and wished him well in his endeavors. But as the king of all Dwarves to take a human mate to the sacred mountain of Erebor, it would raise controversy regardless of Y/N heralding from a world beyond the stars from Mahal himself. 

“Which is why I sought your council. I am still undecided.”

Balin looked to his brother, slightly embittered by these inconclusive responses. “And what do you think about this?”

Dwalin’s shoulders rolled as he crossed his arms. “Be it Mahal’s will or not, he has my support. I would like to know yer thoughts, brother.” 

“Could this be possible?” Thorin implored Balin before he could respond. He didn’t sound very sure of his convictions, they were just theories, but Balin understood the uncertainty. This whole thing was unnatural; divine intervention was not a common occurrence on Middle Earth, so it’s not like there was a guidebook somewhere to confirm Thorin’s argument.

Balin combed his hair with his fingers to ease the tension building under his skull. 

“Anything is possible when it involves the will of the gods. The fact that Mahal brought Y/N here to us at all proves that. But as I said, this is a very serious interpretation, one that very well might impact every single one of us and Dwarvenkind alike whether it’s true or not.” He paused a moment to let that really sink in and regarded Thorin with an adjuring look. “Thorin, I have to know…” Thorin’s eyes softened and he nodded the go ahead.

“Are you courting her?”

Now that the question was out in the open, the air increased its tension. Balin waited for any twitch, hint, or sign that Thorin might try to cover up behind his mask. Their eyes locked together, unwavering as Dwalin focused intently for Thorin’s answer out of their peripherals. 

“No, we are not involved in any way.”

Balin had a mind to ask Thorin if he, personally, had any mind to, but he kept that question to himself. It wasn’t his business and felt like if Thorin had a mind to pursue her, they all would know.

Trusting in Thorin’s honesty, Balin hummed and then gave his theory some earnest deliberation. He still wasn’t sure exactly how Thorin arrived to Y/N being brought here specifically for him. But he knew that she was still withholding details of her knowledge from them, Thorin included. It was possible that she might have let it slip during one of their meetings and he couldn't exactly rule it out.

“How long have you been thinking about this?” Dwalin asked.

Thorin turned to him. “Not long, a few days at most.”

Balin jumped in, “Has she told you anything that might have given credence to this theory?”

Thorin shook his head and turned to look at her blissfully slumbering away. 

“Not directly. There is still so much she cannot tell me without impacting our future. Despite taking a step back and allowing her to guide us as she sees fit, I cannot help but want to fill in the gaping spaces on my own. There are times, however, when I overstep my bounds and push... she has been generous about it, but I fear it may cause her to withdraw from me completely. But unless she divulges otherwise, all I have are my theories. I need your help.”

Dwalin and Balin shared a look and Thorin continued on, lifting his hands to gesture demonstratively as he spoke. 

“Durin's Day is approaching, she has not had a vision, she is injured, and I am trying to make sense of all this and be patient with her, as I promised.” He ran his calloused hands along his jawline. “I just want to help protect her, but I feel as if she is excluding me, and it is maddening. All I can do is interpret her and this whole situation in my own way as a result. Yet hearing my thoughts on this out loud… am I wrong to jump to such conclusions?”

After giving Thorin a friendly clop on his knee, Dwalin said, “No, not at all. It’s only natural to think like that, but try to see this from her perspective. Imagine how the lass must feel! Burdened with knowledge she cannot divulge all at once, trying to find the right way and time to express what’s to come, and not alter the course beyond what she has already seen. If she didn’t want to talk with ya about what’s comin’ our way, then she wouldn’t agree to meet with ya every night. There is a reason for everythin’, and I’m sure she is just being careful about what she chooses to share.”

Thorin’s lips quirked upwards at his assurance, but they did not reach his tired eyes. He then turned his attention back to Balin, wanting to know his input based on what he shared. 

Balin gave a nod. He was surprised, yet proud, of Dwalin’s insight on the matter but supposed that growing up with him as the older sibling obviously rubbed off on his more headstrong, brawny younger brother. It was important to look at a situation from every side from varying perspectives. But as far as Thorin’s went, it was up in the air for everybody. The only person who had the answers was someone that either couldn’t, or wouldn’t, reveal them. 

_ Some things just aren’t meant for us to know, _ Balin thought to himself. 

“I wouldn’t worry on it too much for now. Between the three of us, we could chase our tails until the cows came home but without anything solid to work with, we’d only end up going in circles. Though I will say this is definitely something I will be keeping in mind, should it be true. We’ll handle it together, laddie. And thank you fer sharin’ this with me.” 

Thorin smiled and humbly bowed his head to his old friend. “Thank you for listening.”

* * * * *

For the first time since Y/N had been in Middle Earth, she was having that dream again. The one about the quest, but it seemed to be more of a memory now than a dream. This time it was heavily fragmented instead of being vivid, but still familiar enough for her to recall what it was. Already disoriented and confused at this revisit in her subconscious, Y/N was suddenly rocketed back in that pitch dark nothingness, suspended weightless, frozen in time in a space that was neither here nor there. 

The only thing she could see were the fast forwarding events of the quest unfolding like a film on a projector screen made of rippling water.

That strange, ethereal darkness continued to surround her, drawing Y/N away from the visual of her recurring dream; the colors rippling and blurring out of focus until all that was left was consternation and grief at catching bits and pieces of the deaths that awaited her Dwarves. Y/N wanted so desperately to save Thorin, Fili, and Kili. Anything to spare her from watching them die again. 

“Fili…” she whimpered breathlessly, unable to harbor the sight of him being hoisted in the air and stabbed again. 

What was the point of this recurring dream? Before she met them, Y/N didn’t understand why she cared so much for people that didn’t even exist anywhere but her own mind, but since that dream had basically consumed not only her sleeping moments, but her waking ones as well, it was hard _ not _to care. 

Especially now that she knew them all personally. She ate with them, laughed with them, fought with them, averted death with them… she cared for those Dwarves in such a deeper way than she ever thought she could. 

_ “If you were offered the chance to save the line of Durin, would you?” _

The voice cleared away the dense haze in her mind into sharp focus. At first, her disorientation of being unable to tell apart the dream from reality and vice versa was now clarified; she understood without knowing exactly how that she was in a dreamlike realm and completely lucid in it. 

It was reminiscent of the time she met with that disembodied voice from what felt like forever ago and she knew this was the same voice that had been speaking to her all this time. 

Before Y/N could say anything, she realized there was someone else here apart from the voice and was shocked when it made itself known. 

_ “Yes,” _ she heard herself say in a weep, separate from her present self that was listening in.

Which… sounded scary alike to her. Before she could wonder what the hell was going on, she suddenly remembered this conversation from somewhere, certain that this was now a memory and no longer a dream she was having. The voice spoke again. Authoritative and ubiquitous. 

_ “That is a relief to hear! And quite a joy to finally make contact with you. Pardon my sudden intrusion into your home. I do not have much time, but I will do my best to explain.” _

_ “Is—is this a dream?” _

_ “Not this time.” _

It then hummed to itself as if it were deliberating something. Then there was only the briefest of pauses while both Y/Ns waited.

_ “It will not be an easy task,” _ it continued slowly, speaking more to itself than her. _ “You are ill-equipped for that land. And sending you there is likely to come with its own repercussions and consequences to not only your mind, but your physical body as well; humans are fragile creatures and I have never performed this level of travel. Still… you are able to recall these visions with impressive alacrity. Perhaps you are the vessel I have been searching for.” _

_ “Vessel? But these were just dreams!” _ Other Y/N insisted. 

_ “They were not only dreams, I have shown you the perils that are to come. You must ensure the line’s safety.” _

The exasperation was clear in her voice. _ “Me? But how? Why can’t you do it, and why have I been dreaming of a bunch of Dwarves these past few months?!” _

Its voice grew hard, but not towards her._ “It is not my place to interfere, nor may I divulge any knowledge outside of what you have already seen lest the keepers of fate deem this merciful intervention null and void. They were gracious enough to grant this request, it would be best not to test their patience further.” _ Then its tone softened, _ “The events you have dreamt of have not yet come to pass. If you agree to take on this role, there are difficult decisions you must make. It will be dangerous but as long as you are with them, they will protect you; that I can promise. It is also highly probable that your fate shall be tied and sealed to this land once you arrive. Do you understand?” _

_ “Wait… you’re talking about going to a new world here! Are you saying I can’t come back home if I go?” _Her voice was small and scared. For good reason. This was a hell of a lot for some mystical stranger to dump on someone while they were caught unawares! 

But the longer she listened in, the more Y/N was remembering having this conversation. She could feel the thrum in her head as it all came rushing back to her. 

The voice answered gently, _ “That is unknown to me. I am only responsible for delivering you there safely, but it is a possibility.” _

She heard herself sigh in the darkness. Now that she could finally remember having this conversation, Y/N knew this happened before her journey to Middle Earth. If she could hear her heartbeat, she knew it would be pounding in her ears, waiting for more of her long forgotten memory to return, hanging on every word and seeing bits of the puzzle pieces finally coming together. 

_ “I don’t know… this is a lot to ask some random person. I don’t know the first thing about saving anybody, let alone a bunch of Dwarves! Especially not from that Orc.” _

_ “Surely you have had time to speculate on various outcomes, have you not? What would you have them do differently, what would you say to dissuade or encourage their actions?” _ it invited, as if it knew of her daydreams of how she would have guided them. 

“Fat load of good it did me. Thorin never listened to a damned thing I said at first,” Y/N muttered to herself. 

_ “I guess…” _ she heard herself answer. _ “Can I have time to think about it?” _

_ “We haven’t a day to spare, I’m afraid. I know this is quite sudden and what I am requesting is preposterous considering the circumstances, but I was unable to get in contact with you before now. The portal is ready, all you need to do is step through it. You are more than welcome to decline the offer, there are no obligations. Alas, I do need an answer.” _

_ “But… what would happen to them if I don’t go?” _

There was a pause and a deep sigh that followed. 

_ “I have been searching for a vessel to fulfill this request for a long, long time. There have been very few prospects in Middle Earth itself, but they were not acceptable choices. I had to extend my reaches to other realms as a last resort and you are the only person who can recall the visions I have sent without forgetting them or succumbing to madness and there is something about your spiritual essence that was most accepting. Time moves very differently here than it does in both your world and theirs. If you decline, then what you have seen shall come to pass and the line of Durin will end with Azog.” _

Y/N remembered how she felt when it said that. The pressure of knowing that the lives of people she’d never met could be changed with her help, if she wanted to. And if she didn’t… they would die. Y/N still felt that pressure now. At each passing day, she wasn’t sure if anything she’d been doing was making any sort of impact on Thorin, Kili, and Fili’s lives for the better or worse. 

The voice gave her plenty of time to consider in silence. Waiting patiently for her on the spot decision. 

Initially, she thought: well, what’s in it for me? Why should I have to be burdened with this when it doesn’t concern me at all? Those Dwarves aren’t tied to me in any way. I’ll never be forced to meet any of them in my life here. But then there was the prospect of actual inter-dimensional travel and being personally sought out by a friggin’ _ higher power _ to consider. 

The words ‘no way’ bubbled up and stopped at her lips several times. But each time they did, she hesitated. That had to mean _ some_thing, didn’t it? Everything this voice was saying was straight up nuckin’ futs, but somehow she just felt down to her core that the words were truth and the entity meant her no harm. An unexplained feeling that just rushed at her as 'truth' that going there was the right thing to do.

Y/N remembered suffering in silence, thinking back to her life and how all she wanted was an adventure. Something… anything… to give her life a semblance of meaning apart from the everyday crapshoot. Hell, a part of her was convinced this was all just a dream her troubled mind concocted to cope with the ridiculousness of it all. But in the end, Y/N also remembered that she decided to do it. She just had a gut feeling that she had to. For the friends she’s never met. And even if she died trying to help them, it would have been loads better than wasting away at her cubicle day after day waiting for an actual life to begin. Very rarely was one ever given the chance for something like this. And more so, if this was a way to stop those dreams from recurring, then she’d be willing to do anything. And thus, she would take this miraculous chance of fate and ask questions later.

_ “Fine. I’ll do it,” _ Y/N mouthed along with her memory self. 

There was a smile in its voice that did not go unnoticed as well as a small rumbling of thunder starting to grow in the distance.

_“We are very pleased to hear that and will be anticipating great things from you, despite the hard choices you must make. And fear not, though I may be unable to intervene directly, I shall guide you on your way and check in when I am able. There is more to discuss, but we shall do so another time when I can return unto you. Come, dress comfortably. I shall be waiting for you outside.” _

Now? She had to leave _now_?! 

Even if he had given her a week, it wouldn’t be enough time, Y/N vaguely recalled thinking. Already floored and overwhelmed by her decision to help total strangers in a foreign land, she felt oddly more full of purpose and less regret. Lightning cracked and thunder boomed much closer and the sudden downpour of rain coupled with a curious static in the air made her feel uneasy.

The darkness was slowly fading from view and from above Y/N could make out her bedroom down below. All of her pieces of furniture, the small laundry pile carelessly left in the corner that she could never be bothered to place in the clothing bin, her dresser, her desk, everything. And there she was… sitting up in bed, leg halfway off on her way to scramble to actually put on clothing for _ portal travel. _ It was like she was astral projecting in being able to see everything as it transpired all that time ago. As she surveyed a part of her home she wasn’t sure she’d ever see again, she looked across the room to the strange figure imposed over in the doorway, showing Other Y/N the way out the front door with an outstretched arm after she finished, hastily, getting dressed.

Rain poured heavily as it led her out into the backyard and she cursed herself for forgetting her umbrella. The entity lifted his palms and gave an incantation of some kind in another language, sounding an awful lot like the one she heard Bifur and Thorin speak in her dreams. As she stood there, wondering if it was too late to have second thoughts, she looked up into its kind face in wonder and fear.

_ “Who are you?” _ the memory of Y/N asked. 

_ “I am Aulë. And you shall be the Guardian and Savior of the line of Durin.” _

A blast of lightning ripped through the sky with rapid speed much too quick for her to catch. It struck her down until—

* * *

Y/N woke with a piercing stab to her brain and a cough that followed her sharp gasp. She tried to keep it quiet when she realized how dry her throat was, not wanting to wake anybody. But it was too late. Most of them were already up and preparing sustenance for the morning. Oin was even making his way towards her as she stirred. 

Y/N was utterly startled at her new discovery of a lost memory. Maybe getting electrocuted by lightning fried her brain or something? What in the actual hell was that god thinking!? She looked up at the sky with the beginnings of feeling pissed off but then Oin came forward, breaking her away from being able to properly marinate on this traumatic memory that was somehow repressed. But she vowed that the next time she was able to speak to Mahal, they were going to have words. 

“Marnin’, lass, glad I didn’t have to wake ya! I’d like to take a look at that before we set out and see how it’s doin’. You all right there?” he asked good-naturedly when her coughing took a minute or two to subside. 

Y/N swallowed back a couple more coughs and groggily rubbed the sleep from her eyes. Her voice was still a bit hoarse from sleep when she answered and gestured to her thigh. “Yeah, just need some water. Go ahead, do your thing.”

“How’s the itching?” he asked, already knelt at her side and making quick work of it after handing her a waterskin to drink from. She gulped it down greedily, relishing the cool liquid running down her throat, trying to catch the rogue streams that fled the corners of her mouth from dripping down her chin.

When she was finished she took a deep breath and her voice sounded much better. “It’s less this morning, and…” she paused to note any subtle changes. “Kinda here and there now. Not constant.”

“Very good!” 

Oin untied the binding and assessed the wound. It was healing remarkably fast and already seemed ready to remove the stitches, as far as Y/N’s medically inadequate mind could tell. When he was satisfied with what he saw, he applied a new coat of ointment and wrapped her up swiftly and stood with a decisive nod.

“Yer doin’ well! It’s healing nicely. Sutures should be ready to come out in the next two days if you stay off the leg and avoid any strenuous activity.”

Y/N pursed her lips and regarded him with a wry stare. “Like running for my life?”

Oin squinted, trying to understand her words with his poor hearing, but they seemed to register properly as he turned them over in his head. He arbitrarily stroked his beard and gave an understanding roll of his shoulders. 

“Well, if it can’t be helped, it can’t be helped. Ahem... Did you foresee any running in our near future, Y/N?”

“Maybe…” 

In truth, Y/N wasn’t sure if she should withhold that information or not. Even though their next course of running would involve being chased by a skin-changing bear titan, she knew they would fare a lot better with running than she would anyway. There was always a chance that they wouldn’t run into Beorn, though… right? 

Oin favored her with a roguish look before shrugging it off. “As long as we aren’t in any real danger and ya stay off that leg if you can, that’s all I care about. If not then we’ll deal with it.”

She opened her mouth to voice their upcoming mini-marathon and if he thought she might be able to make the run, when—

“What’s this about danger?” Fili interjected, a grim smile on his face at the mention of the word. He was carrying the spoils of breakfast along with him, both hands full with a small type of bird and a handful of some foraged berries of some kind in one. 

“N-nothing!”

Y/N avidly waved at that and shot Oin a hushed look that had the old Dwarf backing away with his hands in the air. He left the two of them with a stern, “Stay off that leg now.” The ‘or else’ went unsaid but was heard loud and clear. Y/N threw him a parting mock salute.

Fili tilted his head in confusion at their interaction and handed Y/N a fair share of breakfast, including all of the small, black berries before taking a seat next to her. 

The berries were especially sweet, and she had noticed that there was a small, white tufted flower intertwined in the berry stems. Pulling it aside, she twirled it between her fingers admiringly before bringing the bloom to her nose. Her eyebrows popped into her hairline in surprise at the first inhale. Its fragrance was rich and sugary sweet with a distinct undertone of spice to it that reminded her of a seducing perfume despite being a flower. 

“Do you like it?” Fili asked softly. 

“Wow, it smells so nice!” She stole another whiff, savoring its scent deep in her nose. “What is this?”

He smiled at her reaction. “It’s a carnation. I’ve read that they bring good luck, among other things. I saw a small patch of them earlier, and I thought you might fancy something pretty.”

Okay, that was just the cutest thing ever. Y/N bit her lip to stifle her smile and bumped shoulders with him. “Aww, that is so sweet! Thank you. Wait, how come you don’t have any? You’re just eating meat for breakfast? That’s not enough to fill you up! Do you want some of the berries? There’s more than enough to share.” 

Fili shook his head, encouraging her to keep all of them for herself. She didn’t like how little his food portion was, but her rumbling stomach gave no further argument. After gingerly placing the flower off to the side, she refocused on her meal until all was picked clean and she tossed the remains over her shoulder.

“So, what’s this about danger?” Fili prompted once more, taking a bite of his food after a moment. Y/N had a mind to deny it, but decided it was news worth sharing. 

“Er… we have some probable running ahead of us. Nothing major, or too deadly… I hope,” she muttered the last bit under her breath, her fingers found the soft petals of the carnation and stroked. She wasn’t a florist, but she hoped that flower _ would _bring some luck their way. And as if inhaling the aroma was all that was needed, she gave it another sniff. At the very least, it still smelled pretty damn good. Unlike her and the rest of them who were long overdue for a good, proper bathing. 

Fili glanced down at her thigh, likely noting that it still needed time to heal since Oin didn’t remove her stitches. He frowned. 

“Today?”

“Either today or tomorrow, or the next day… but soon.”

Fili's frown deepened, eyeing her thigh again, but then he appeared more resolved. “I see. Well, I’ll be there to protect you, no matter what. Always.”

“You’re my real-life Prince Charming, after all! I wouldn't expect anything less.”

Y/N noticed Fili was averting her eyes again and now that her head felt more clear, she felt bad about skipping their nightly talk. Even though she still felt guilty about what happened with Thorin, the last thing she wanted to do was push Fili away. Or give him the wrong idea. From her experience, men usually gave her flowers as means of apology, and though Fili had told her the flower meant luck, the guilty portion of her brain wanted to reassure him just in case.

“Listen, about last night. I’m sorry we didn’t get to talk like we usually do.”

Fili looked up, surprised. “You don’t have to apologize for that! You’re allowed to take time for yourself to rest, you know. Your health comes first.”

“I just—” She stopped and ran her hand through her obviously bed-head frizzy cloud of hair and made work of smoothing it down as best she could. “I didn’t want you to think that I didn’t wanna spend time with you. I had a lot on my mind and I was so tired and may have come off unintentionally dismiss-y. Now I’m worried it might have upset you or something and I feel bad.” 

She remembered how downput he seemed when she kept rejecting him and wanted to make it up to him somehow. Even if it was because she still had a guilty conscience. It would still be a bit of a challenge for her to pretend that she didn’t kiss his uncle, but she had to start moving on sometime. 

Fili’s features softened into the sort of warm expression that melted her into a puddle. Even his dimples showed. 

“There’s still no need for an apology, or an explanation. Although…” he gave her a charming smirk and drew closer. “I must confess I like that you worry for me and care what I think. Perhaps we should make up for lost time during the walk if you’re feeling amiable?”

A shade of red leapt into the apples of her cheeks at the boldness insinuated in his voice even after he helped them both to their feet in preparation to leave. The flush deepened further when the person she last wanted to see right now approached them. 

“Fili, Y/N...” Thorin nodded to each of them. Fili greeted him back in kind. “When you are finished eating, be sure to relieve yourselves, we are heading out soon. How is your thigh?”

Y/N found Fili’s dirty, scuffed up boots rather interesting at the moment. Taking in every minute detail from the craftsmanship to the textures and contemplating how they were crafted. She didn’t want to risk a glance into Thorin’s eyes. Partly because she was afraid to see the indifference she knew she’d find in them as he pretended that their kiss didn’t happen, and partly because she didn’t want to give herself away by accident in front of Fili. 

“S’fine.”

Thorin said, “Good. Fili, since you are here, would you mind carrying our Seer first this morning?”

“Aye, leave it to me.”

After an awkward beat of silence, Y/N remained focused on Fili’s boots down to every stitch and patch of fur until Thorin said something or other in response and finally left. Knowing he was gone, her eyes immediately trailed after him, curious if he might turn around to look back at her. Give her some sign that he was struggling with their secret like she was. 

But he didn’t. Of course he didn’t. 

Y/N couldn’t understand why her emotions were getting so wild lately. Or why she cared as much as she did, but she couldn’t help it. The kiss might not have meant anything to Thorin, but it meant something to her._ And that’s what really bites, _ she said to herself with a surly pout. Besides, _he's_ the one who kissed _her_!

Y/N’s eyes snapped to his attention when Fili gave a stretch and said, “Gandalf’s leading us through the forest to stay off the main paths, so we won’t need to worry about the sun so much today.”

“Oh, good…” she replied distractedly, wondering just when the Orcs would catch up to them and lead to the inevitable chase by Beorn.

“Should be a nice change of pace for us; and with you still healing, I’m happy we won’t be out in the open. Well then! Better see that you water the flowers sooner than later. There’s no telling when the next break will be and I know Thorin will want to cover more ground since we’ll be out of sight.”

She blinked, effectively forgetting Thorin for a moment. A small giggle escaped. 

“Water the flowers… you mean, take a piss?”

Fili chuckled and she spotted a splash of pink on his cheeks. “Yeah, that.”

“No need to be so proper with me, I know a lot of dirty words that are way worse than that,” she elbowed him playfully. He gave her a playful nudge of his own accompanied with a flustered look.

“I just wanted to be considerate! Treat you as a proper, respectable lad treats a proper lady.”

“And when have we ever been proper?” she challenged with a laugh as she started away to ‘water the flowers’. Fili was so blissfully adorable sometimes. Y/N could tell that, well, since he was raised by Thorin (the model of royalty and honor), Fili had found it challenging to adapt to Y/N’s more forward methods of casual conversation and general behavior that had been gradually adopted into her modern society. Some things were easier for him to adjust to than others, but if saying ‘piss’ or kissing his cheek all those weeks ago turned him into a stuttering mess, she wondered what he would have done if they were the ones who made out and not—

Nope, not going there. 

Using the carnation to ground herself, Y/N was sure to squash down all of those delicious, now bittersweet, feelings to the bottom of her mind. Even though the memory was still so fresh, it wouldn’t do to let it distract her throughout the day. Especially if she had to spend the start of it in Fili’s arms... 

When everyone was finished doing their business and the Company replenished their waterskins and were ready to head out, Fili made a show of stretching his arms in preparation for carrying her and she affectionately rolled her eyes when he made a sweeping gesture for her to come to him. 

“M’lady.”

Y/N slapped his shoulder before hopping on. Fili made a slight adjustment to his hold but was able to support her weight easily, despite her thinking she was a heavy load to carry. Normally, Y/N would have climbed on his back, but Oin didn’t want her to risk reopening the stitches again, so bridal-style was the doctor approved method of ‘carting the lass’, as he put it. 

“Forgive me for carrying you like a proper lass, Just Y/N. I hope it isn’t an affront to your nature,” Fili teased in a ‘princely’ tone a few minutes in once the lot of them started off. 

Y/N gave him the side eye and tried to hold it steady. But the returning look Fili gave her had her cracking a grin despite herself. “You’re lucky I’m not walking 'cause I have a boot with your butt’s name on it.”

He chuckled, his nose wrinkling, before leaning down.

“Well, if I cannot treat you like a lady, how else do you wish for me to treat you?” 

It sounded innocent enough a question, but heat flooded her body without her being able to stop it. Her dirty mind lifted with opportunities and she did her best to effectively squash them down. Y/N wasn’t sure if there was more implied beyond the deepened response she was given, but when she looked into Fili’s eyes, she was sure there was something else there underneath the playful attitude. A nonverbal signal of… invitation? 

But since she was still quite hot and bothered from yesterday, and intoxicated with the delicious scent of the flower he’d given her, Y/N didn’t want to read into anything deeper than necessary. And she certainly didn’t want to pursue any sort of romance with Thorin or Fili until her head finally cleared. And not just because Thorin basically forbade her from doing so—_ Jerk… _Y/N thought out to His Royal Pain in the Butt up ahead. 

No, it was because she couldn’t bear any more complications to her already complicated circumstances.

On the other hand, she found Fili’s sudden bold behavior very odd, but sort of exciting in a weird way. And that was dangerous. Even though Y/N needed help diverting her focus away from Thorin, and her random sexual urges, from the memory of Thorin’s lips, she couldn’t help but be curious about Fili; he hadn’t ever truly openly flirted or given her flowers before. True, she did have fun with their innocuous banter. Knowing it was all in good fun. But she wondered with renewed interest how Fili would taste and feel… how he might go about kissing her into a stupor—

A vivid memory of the soft rasp of Thorin’s beard against her mouth came pouring in, as if he were trying to telepathically torment her from finding solace in considering someone else. She flushed anew, her eyes quickly darting away from Fili’s twinkling sky blues. 

“So, I thought of a name for my sword! I’m gonna call it Thunderborn,” Y/N revealed in a blurt of anti-suaveness, awkwardly averting Fili’s question. 

If he minded her changing the subject, he didn’t look it. Fili smirked down at her, quirking a playful eyebrow. “How vain. After yourself?”

“Well, I didn’t quite think of it that way, but yeah I guess so. Geez, someone sure is sassy today…” she noted questionably. 

“Forgive me, I didn’t get much sleep.”

Y/N tilted her head at him and frowned a little. When he noticed her erring expression, Fili avidly added, “Not because of you! Well, maybe. I… I just have a lot on my mind, too. And I suppose my thoughts were running a bit rampant.” He looked like he wanted to say more, and he expressed a sort of nervousness in the way that he smiled at her. 

With her heart pounding in her ears, she reluctantly asked, “Do you wanna talk about it?” 

* * * * *

As Fili carried Y/N in his arms, he felt like the strongest Dwarf in Middle Earth. Or, at the very least, the most complete one despite hardly getting a wink of sleep last night. Carrying her was his favorite part of the day aside from their talks before sleep. The way she fit there, so warm and so soft, it made him fantasize that he was carrying his lass into their bedchambers. 

Especially when she ducked her head into his neck to laugh at something he said, or the way she held onto him, trusting his strength. Made a Dwarf’s heart soar into the sky. He couldn’t help the immodest thoughts as they came to him having her so close. And all he’d need to do is recall one of his dreams, or think of what she looked like bathing in moonlight, and he’d turn solid. 

It made walking an uncomfortable nightmare, but he was thankful for the many layers of clothing he had on to help conceal him so no one could see.

But what’s more was that Y/N proved to be quite receptive to Fili’s flirtatious advances and even returned some of her own, to his delight. He was almost upset for not doing this sooner, but was still happy with their steady progress nonetheless. Certain things he said had made her speechless, and if not for the flush eliciting on her cheeks in response and rapid change in topic, he’d have thought she was uncomfortable with it. 

Or perhaps she was playing coy. It was adorable, regardless. And in any case, he was going to up his intentions moving forward. He couldn’t afford any delays. He couldn’t afford all the ‘laters’ that may never come. As he continued to tease and sass, he watched her swallow nervously. Though he was sure he was far more nervous than she was at this moment. 

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

Instinctively, Fili paused and looked around. Everyone was busy moving forward. Comfortable distances between each lad in line proved they had little chance of being interrupted. Uncanny. 

Fili apprehensively licked his lips as his eyes roamed her face, wishing they had more privacy for what he had been wanting to discuss. 

“As a matter of fact, I do,” he admitted.

* * *

The two of them spoke for hours before they came to the first rest point; Fili carried her in two shifts instead of one. And during that time which seemed both staggeringly short and absurdly extensive, Y/N’s anxiety melted away as Fili proceeded to open up to her in the deepest way anyone ever has. He shared a rather personal stream of his concerns and fears that he invited her to dip her feet into on what was expected of him, the type of dwarrow he thought Thorin expected him to be, the dwarrow he wanted to be, his worry about the future, and basically spread himself completely bare before her. Fili mentioned the weight of his responsibility as the sole heir of his family’s throne made it hard to find sleep at some nights, and he expressed a fear about the gold sickness that plagues his family and unsure if he was susceptible to it, and repeated on occasion how he never wanted to live with regrets, or push things off for later because of how much she opened his eyes to life. 

Fili had communicated a level of exposure with such intimacy and trust that her heart just… humbled and bloomed. She could tell even without him outwardly saying so that he had never told anyone about these dark winding paths that twisted and swerved in his mind. 

But he chose to share them with her. _ This must be the secret that he was keeping. All the things he couldn’t bring himself to tell Kili or Thorin because he was scared of what they might think of him, _she fathomed. 

And long after the midday melted into a golden sunset before diving into the dark, jeweled blanket of nighttime, Y/N was still thinking about all the things Fili told her and felt herself struggling to keep him at arm’s distance; she felt herself get drawn to him even more than before. Much closer than she was with Thorin, who, even though he did share some of his own inner concerns, still spoke to Y/N with a level of defense. It kept a layer of interest and intrigue to the burdened Dwarf’s life. But Fili… 

God, she was so confused. 

Y/N was emotionally closer to Fili, yet physically closer with his uncle, and she couldn’t help herself from lusting after the both of them in spite of it all. Wanting to get even closer. Because…

“Why?” she asked herself in her momentary solitude while she washed in a stream near that night’s camp. She arbitrarily scrubbed herself down as her mind was churning deep in troubled thought. 

But she knew why. She just didn’t want to say it out loud until she was absolutely sure. And in the meantime, even though it wouldn't appear “normal”, she would not be indulging in another talk with Thorin tonight. Or the next. Or the next, until she could shake what she felt. But damn it all if that wasn’t easier said than done!

“Ugh, what the hell is it with the Durin line? Are they all such tantalizing, seductive people with gorgeous bodies, voices, and faces?!” she muttered harshly to herself, so her dutiful bodyguards wouldn’t overhear. 

Thorin, Fili, and Kili were all so beautiful and majestic. They certainly didn’t quail her raging hormones in any way, and if she had some actual privacy, she was sure that a good seeing to her needs would help to better clear her head than any space away from them could provide. 

It wasn’t Gloin and Bombur’s fault, but she sent them a glare in annoyance anyway as she hurriedly finished washing herself before her erratic lewd thoughts, feelings, and urges could take over once again and cause her to explode. 

* * * * *

Kili stared at Fili wide eyed with surprise before breaking into a deep grin.

“See? You were worried for nothing! I knew Y/N would understand if you opened up to her.”

Fili sheepishly smiled in response, but he was pleased as well. “It was still nerve wracking for me to bare my soul like that! I was so nervous, but once I started, I couldn’t stop. It just felt so right and natural to talk with her. I feel so close to Y/N now, much more than I have before. I’ve never told anyone the things I’ve told her.”

“Not even me?” Kili ventured cheekily. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Fili smirked, giving him a playful shove. 

Kili’s support in his big step was very comforting. And although he was still taking things one bit at a time and was determined to uphold some semblance of good timing, Fili couldn’t forego another moment—as soon as an opportunity presented itself, he wasn’t going to waste it. He was ready.

“I’m going to tell her how I feel, Kee.”

He felt Kili’s eyes more than he saw them. “When?” Kili asked. 

“Soon. I just… I cannot wait any longer. The outcome of this quest is uncertain, and I’d rather not waste any more time while I have it.”

Kili nodded in understanding. “I will offer you my help, if you need it.”

“I know, thanks. You've been my greatest confidant in all this, I don't know how I would have fared without you.”

Now it was Kili who turned bashful, but he bore it with brotherly pride. "You'd have done fine, you always do. I'm so excited for you! You must tell me everything immediately afterward, promise?"

Fili rolled his eyes with a laugh. "I promise, you will be the first to know." 

"Good. Just as long as we're clear," Kili nodded curtly.

They sat together at the watch post Kili would be using later, staring off into the dark forest and listened to the sounds of nightlife awaken around them. They felt revitalized now that they were able to get a proper bathing, even though their dinner was abysmal this time around. There was hardly any fish in the stream, and no game within reasonable distance to camp; Thorin wanted everyone to stay close. They managed some squirrels and vegetation, but it was hardly enough to satisfy the hunger from all the walking they did. 

Fili worried for Y/N, she was getting so thin. When they reached Erebor, Fili imagined all the ways he would spoil her: he would ensure that Y/N never went hungry, had warm furs to curl up in, had a sizable bathing room to relax and unwind, massive wardrobe, and whatever else she wanted, he would provide. However, the one thing he wanted her to accept the most was himself. 

“Do you think Thorin will allow Y/N to live with us in Erebor?” Fili questioned out loud. 

Kili thought for a moment. “I don’t know. Erebor is a Dwarven kingdom, but I’m not sure if others were ever granted leave to live there permanently in the past. I figure, since Mahal sent her here to us, he might be more inclined or open to the idea. But even if he isn’t, we’ll find a way!” he assured with a smile. 

Fili felt his heart break a little. If Thorin didn’t allow it, and Y/N chooses him as her own, then Fili would honor his words to her and leave his birthright behind to live a life together. And until he knew his chances, he wouldn’t bother telling Kili about this just yet. His brother would no doubt try to force him to stay. And although he loved and respected Thorin, Y/N ruled his heart forever more, and Kili would be the only person in Middle Earth that had the power to convince him to stay in Erebor. But if she wasn't welcome there, than Fili wanted nothing to do with it. 

The future was so unclear, but Fili was a young fighter in love willing to do whatever it takes. And a young fighter’s drive was not one to be trifled with.

* * * * *

Y/N was feeling a little off shortly after she finished bathing and couldn’t quite determine why. Was it due to lack of food or sleep? She knew it wasn’t a vision because her runes weren’t all tingly and her head wasn’t splitting open. As warmth heated up her body to an uncomfortable temperature, she prayed she wasn’t coming down with a cold. That would just be the icing on the cake considering how her thigh still needed time to heal and they had to run for their lives from Orcs and a giant bear in their near future. But as realization crept in, she felt herself pale with dread. 

Naturally, it would happen sooner or later. It was only a matter of time. But if she were to be completely honest with herself, she had completely forgotten about it due to being preoccupied with other more monumental things. It was bad enough that her memory of her day before she traveled to Middle Earth was all but lost until last night, but to forget something that happened so frequently was just inexcusable and sad. Embarrassing, really. And in the Company, no less! 

“I’m in trouble…” Y/N whispered to herself, feeling the first pangs of menstrual cramps stabbing into her abdomen like a fire was burning inside its depths. Ugh, why couldn’t this have happened in the stream? On all accounts, she was late and should have had at least two or three of them by now but missing them completely slipped her mind. Y/N wondered if this was some of the physical repercussions Mahal was talking about in regards to the after effects of her portal travels. But she was just thankful that the pains started while they had set up camp instead of being on the road. Y/N frantically feared what she was to do when she started to actually _ bleed_. She had no extra clothes besides what she had on and she wasn’t sure what she could possibly use through the entire duration. 

A ping of cognizance hit her as she thought rather sourly, _ Ah… so, that’s where the ‘on The Rag’ phrase comes from_. 

Drawing up all her energy and putting on the ruse of normalcy to shield the look of pain she was feeling, she carefully walked over to the closest Dwarf in the vicinity, Bofur, to ask if he had any extra clean cloths to spare. 

“Clean cloths? Sorry, lass, mine are all sullied. Ask Bombur, he might have a spare.”

Y/N stopped and eyed the long, obstacle-ridden path to Bombur like a mouse would eye a sleeping cat. The Dwarves were rough housing each other, jolting around, and being the boisterous bunch that they were. And all Y/N could think is if she happened in the wrong path and someone slammed into her, she’d be down for the count and would unleash an unwanted reenactment of that elevator scene from _ The Shining_. 

Another wave of cramps shot through and her eyes squeezed shut as she winced. The pain escalated higher, robbing her of her breath as she hissed an inhale and very tenderly exhaled.

“—right?”

“What?” She whipped her head to where Bofur was propped out picking at his nails. The usual twinkle in his eye diminished the moment their eyes locked. 

“Are you all right, lass?” he repeated, now clearly concerned. 

She waved him off with a forced smile and muttered something along the lines of her being fine. Bilbo was fiddling with something or other at a nice, quiet corner of the group and Y/N beelined straight for him, ignoring Bofur’s protests upon excusing herself hastily in parting. 

“Hey, Bilbo!” she greeted. 

“Oh, Miss Y/N! Hello,” he continued rummaging through his pockets before hiding his hands behind his back, but she had his full attention. 

“You wouldn’t happen to have any extra rags or cloths on hand, would you?” 

Y/N could feel her facing turning pale as she struggled through another roll of pain, this bout stronger than the last. She wasn’t bleeding—yet—but if she couldn’t find something to hold in the flow when it _ did _ arrive, then the horrendous cramps that were making merry with her sensitive insides would be the least of her concerns. Every month varied, but she had her fair share of ungodly painful cramps, to the point where the pain was incapacitating. Sometimes so great that no position could offer comfort, and the very act of breathing felt like a stab to the uterus. Christ, she _ had _to come to a land where Ibuprofen and tampons were nonexistent, didn’t she?

“Hmm, let’s see… ah!” 

Bilbo dug eagerly in his pocket. Relief flared in her chest but was quickly extinguished the moment he thrust his proud find in her face. 

“Will this do?” 

The Hobbit offered her his handkerchief, which _ was _clean, but she would not resort to using that unless she had no other choice. The poor guy would be scarred for life knowing what she would need it for. Y/N had already gotten her nose blood on the damn thing, she didn’t want to add onto the unsightly bounty. 

“N-no, that’s not exactly what I had in mind. You don’t have anything like a spare washing cloth?” she asked hopefully. 

“Oh. Well, I don’t think so. I’ll look again.” 

His diligent little hands thoroughly combed through his gear twice likely knowing his first search was accurate but still determined to help, bless his heart. But at the end of the day he only had the single washcloth which was already used and his handkerchief on hand. 

“What do you need a washcloth for, if I may ask? Don’t you have one?” 

Y/N didn’t have a washcloth for herself, just a knitted square that Ori was kind enough to make her to bathe with which obviously wouldn’t do the job for this particular matter. 

“It’s nothing you need to worry about, I’ll ask someone else. Thanks for checking, though!” 

Nope. Y/N was not going to answer that question. She asked a few Dwarves discreetly for a spare washcloth but nobody had one that wasn’t already used, and no one would give her a thing without knowing why she needed it. She had a mind to go to Oin, if anything to give her something for the pain, but he was currently getting some much needed rest and she didn’t want to disturb him.

What was she to do? She couldn't bide her time forever.

* * * * *

Unbeknownst to Y/N, Bofur’s eyes had been locked on her since the moment he spotted something wrong. 

Y/N’s usual joyous demeanor was dimmed and withdrawn. She moved about the camp timidly and avoided contact from the men. It didn’t appear to be in relation to her thigh injury, but he couldn’t be sure. Her face was paling, she was sweating, and he caught glimpses of a pained expression on her face and he couldn’t help but feel concerned. Gods, he hoped she wasn’t getting sick! 

_ But that could be what she needed the cloth for! _ he thought. _ Maybe she needed it so that she could soak it in water and place it on her forehead to bring down a fever_. 

It about broke his heart seeing her so frail, hugging herself and walking slowly as if every step was painful. The poor lass...

That wouldn’t do! 

Driven with purpose, Bofur stood and ripped a piece of cloth from his person before hurriedly making way down to the nearby stream.

* * * * *

“Y/N, come sit! We’re about to arm wrestle and we need unbiased eyes to make sure—” Kili reached for her arm when he saw her draw near and frowned as she shrunk away from his outstretched hand before he could even touch her. 

“What’s the matter? Oh, don’t worry, _ we _aren’t arm wrestling,” he laughed and gestured between them. 

She smiled tightly, but he noticed something off in her expression. The way she was smiling was wrong; forced. She had never recoiled away from any of them like that before. Y/N was always so affectionate and happy to participate. He looked to Fili to see if he had any idea of her odd behavior, but his brother just looked on concerned. He seemed to spot something was off, too.

“Y/N, are you okay?” Fili inquired, worry lining his face as he rose to his feet to get a closer look. “Is it your thigh?”

“It’s nothing!” she assured frantically, smiling wider and backing away. Fili crossed his arms, clearly not convinced. Before anyone else in their small gathering could get another word in, Bofur jogged up to her then and thrust his wet rag in Y/N’s face. He leaned briefly on his knees with his free hand to pant for a moment before righting himself.

“There you go!” he exclaimed proudly, the flap wiggling like a dog ear.

She seemed as equally confused by this random gesture as everyone else was. Y/N looked between Bofur and the cloth, not understanding what he was trying to give her or why. Sure, she had asked for a clean cloth, but… this was obviously torn from his clothing and it was soaking wet. Nothing at all what she asked for. 

“You still goin’ on about that cloth ye need?” Nori might as well have shouted for the whole world to hear, smacking Bombur’s hands away from the last of his food he intended to stash for later. 

“She asked you for that, too?” Dori asked, joining in the circle. 

“Aye! Me, as well! What do you need it for, lassie? Thought ya had your own?” Dwalin added with a raised eyebrow. Y/N had suddenly garnered more attention than she would have liked as more eyes turned her way. 

Now it was Bofur’s turn to look dumbfounded. He was certain this was what she needed, but she didn’t seem to know what it was for. 

“I soaked it in the stream,” he scratched his head from under his hat. “For your… head?”

“You have head pains?” Fili asked, reaching up to rest his knuckles on her forehead. “Did you have a vision? You are a little warm, why didn’t you tell me?”

“U-uhm…”

Dori also felt her head, having more experience in matters of illness from caring for his little brothers and said, “You’re sweating an awful lot, but you don’t appear to have a fever. Do you need to lie down?” 

“Are ye gettin’ a cold?”

As the questions came pouring in, Y/N curled in on herself not knowing what to do outside of telling them nothing was wrong so as to avoid telling them about this very personal problem she did not want to share. But as another cramp racked its way through her body, she could only grit her teeth and bear it.

“I’m not sick…” she bit out, thinking up a quick lie. “I’m just a little... out of sorts. Probably from not getting enough to eat tonight, but no biggie.”

“Is that all? Well then, I’m sure there’s more vegetation somewhere around here! We’ll see what we can find and you’ll be right as rain, come sit!” he said, guiding Y/N and landing a hearty smack on her back that had her tumbling to the ground with a stark yelp of pain. Kili watched it all happen with stark concern and confusion.

“_Kili_!” Fili scolded in a shout of horror. 

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry, I am so sorry,” Kili went to touch her as Y/N rolled into a ball as the most unbearable, excruciating pain her poor body has ever experienced overcame her and he flinched away as if she were fire, not wanting to cause her any more hurt. Y/N could only imagine what it must be like to give birth, but she assumed it couldn’t be any worse than this. 

Her mouth dropped all sorts of swears and profanity in the form of unbridled sobs that would make a sailor blush and the Dwarves had no idea what had just happened, but all of them rushed to her defense regardless, all inquiring about what ailed her. Kili was absolutely mortified and Fili shoved his brother aside to drop down to his knee to help, yelling for the others to back off and give her space.

“Y/N? Y/N, what’s wrong?” he asked frantically, his eyes trying to locate the source of her pain. “Talk to me, where are you hurt?”

Gandalf, who was resting nearby, hobbled over post-sleep to see what the fuss was all about, looking around in confusion with a bewildered Bilbo at his heels. 

Thorin was at the scene immediately afterward. The moment her shriek pierced the air, he was startled to attention and came raging in ready to slash some throats, thinking they were under attack, but given the way his men had formed a circle around the girl and seeing Kili’s guilty expression, Thorin connected the dots and quickly sheathed his weapon. 

“What happened? What have you done?!” he demanded, harshly grasping his youngest nephew by the shoulder. Kili’s wide eyes were locked on Y/N’s crumpled form and didn’t meet Thorin’s fiery blues until after he was shook a couple times and forced to face him.

“I meant no harm! I… I have no idea what happened. I-I hardly touched her and then she—” Kili stammered, still in shock.

“You call this—” Thorin pointed to her bawling form with a raging fury none of them had seen him direct towards them before “—hardly touching her? She is on the ground writhing in agony! You go start your watch and get out of here! Move aside, Fili. Y/N…” Thorin’s voice was much gentler when addressing her than his nephews. His hand softly touched her back but it didn’t bring anything close to comfort. If anything, it brought on another spasm.

Fili sat there on the ground a moment, appalled at his uncle’s attitude at literally shoving him away. He glared at him and got to his feet, roughly wiping the dirt from his clothing where he landed. Fili didn’t appreciate getting pushed when he wanted to be the one to tend to Y/N and he refused to leave her side no matter what Thorin said. But Fili quickly snapped out of those selfish thoughts the instant another sob escaped Y/N’s lips; this wasn’t about who would be the one to comfort, it was about her and what he (and anyone else) could do to help ease her mysterious pain they still knew nothing about. 

But damn him if he didn’t wish Thorin would back off and stop touching her face, her hair, her body... 

Y/N drew her legs up to her chest, praying to any god that would show mercy that her now stained trousers could be shielded from sight. She knew he meant well and on normal days she would have been able to handle the slap, but damn Kili and his intense energy!

“Y/N, where do you hurt, is it your thigh? Your head? Let me see. Somebody get Oin over here. Now!” 

“Nooo,” she weeped. But Thorin didn’t take no for an answer and carefully attempted to roll her over onto her back. “Thorin… please… don’t.” 

Fili seethed in place, a primal feeling bubbled up inside him screaming in vain to get out, prepared to lash at Thorin. _ Don’t touch her! You’re hurting her more! Get away! _it said. 

“Oh no! What do we do?” Ori asked anyone willing to answer, his eyes landing on a frowning Gandalf. 

The wizard assessed the situation from close by and came to a realization on his own. He put his hand on Bilbo’s shoulder, discouraging him from coming any closer and shaking his head when the Hobbit looked up at him in question.

“But-but shouldn’t we help? Y/N is—” Bilbo pointed. 

Gandalf sputtered and guided Bilbo and himself away. “Trust me, giving her privacy is plenty help enough. It would be wise for you all to do the same,” he said loud enough for all to hear. But the Dwarves had chosen not to listen. 

Bilbo didn’t understand, but allowed his feet to be led away from the Dwarven cocoon surrounding his human friend. He looked over his shoulder, the well-mannered Hobbit in him urging him to offer his assistance, but the tone in Gandalf’s voice had convinced him that away was better. 

With the help of Dwalin’s brashness, Oin stirred and snorted awake and after a brief recap of what happened, was soon making his way over and Y/N could only continue to sob and cry out in pain. Desperately trying to tell them to leave her alone with no success. 

Fili hesitated but knelt back down to her. The biological urge to tend to his One’s discomfort becoming too powerful to ignore and stand helplessly at the side. Thorin wasn’t getting anywhere with her. Y/N fought every advance and it made Fili’s chest siege. 

“She’s not listening. Thorin, let me try—” Thorin slapped his helping hand away and kept his focus on the girl. Fili’s girl. 

_ Mine! Not yours, **mine**! _

Fili swallowed back a violent impulse to shove him back but this time it broke free. He couldn’t help it, his arm curled back and—

“Oi, lad! Up ya go, let’s give them some space!” Bofur hoisted Fili up, snapping him out of the confrontational daze. He shrugged out of the hold, still feeling battle heat pulsing through him but thankful for the timely intervention. Bofur threw the blonde a lopsided grin, slowly flapping his hands and mouthing, ‘calm down.’

Fili took a breath and felt a little better, but he couldn’t fully be calm until he knew that Y/N was okay. He returned his gaze to his lass, clenching his fists to his sides. Not knowing that Bofur remained close and prepared to step in again if he deemed it necessary. 

“Stop acting like a child and let me see where you were injured!” Thorin demanded, doing his best to unwind her arms from her chest and push her legs down but she insisted with all of her might, twisting and turning. Oin already happened to catch a glimpse of the issue from where he was standing and he felt for the girl, understanding her pleas for Thorin to stop. 

“Thorin?” Oin butted in.

“For Durin’s sake, woman! What in the world is the matter with you?” 

Thorin was starting to apply more strength to pry her arms free, he could not understand why Y/N was being so difficult about this. Couldn’t she see that he was trying to help? The pain couldn’t be _ that _bad!

“_Thorin_.” Oin was ignored. 

Y/N cried and begged him to stop. The Company stood around, baffled and bewildered, collectively not knowing what to do aside from just standing there waiting for instructions or news to enlighten them of this mysterious ailment as they argued amongst themselves.

“Oh, Mahal… Fili,” Thorin barked at him from over his shoulder, he had had enough of this. “Help me hold her arms down, Oin get to—”

“I’m on my period! Are you happy now?!” Y/N cried in a cracked voice laced with hurt. A deep ache rattled around in her insides like a violent storm. It brought on some nausea that she fought down with every fiber of her being. She was embarrassed enough as it was, she didn’t want to up the stakes by vomiting on Thorin to top it all off. But maybe that would have taught him to leave her alone like she told him to. 

“A period?” Bofur questioned, looking around for illumination to see if anyone knew something he didn’t. “A period of what exactly?”

“That would be her womansblood, laddie,” Oin clarified. If not for Y/N’s whimpers and sniffles, the quiet that settled was as loud as a scream. Suddenly, Bilbo was very glad that he followed Gandalf away, who shot him a look of ‘I told you so’ that he should have immediately heeded without question. Bilbo felt his face flush in embarrassment. 

Oh. 

_ Oh. _

Oh... 

That seemed to be the sudden realization that hit everyone all at once like a ton of bricks, excluding Oin who only sighed in sympathy. He had hoped to spare Y/N some decency and privacy, but oh well. The cat was out of the bag—or rag, as it were. 

Thorin’s actions instantly ceased and he slowly retracted his hands from her while everyone except for Fili and Oin took a step back. Kili, if it was possible, felt even worse about what he had done than before, thinking he had expedited her bleeding’s arrival or actually _ caused _it, and let his legs finally carry him as far away from her to his post. Nobody seemed to notice. If they had, they likely would have followed suit. 

“Mahal, lads! What’re you standing around for?” Gloin scolded, jumping to his feet. “Bombur, boil up some water. Dori, she’ll need some hot tea! Ori, be a good lad and knit her some padding to use, would you? Oin, mix her up some pain reliever, I believe I saw some poppies in the brush over there; anything we can spare, lads! Fili, fetch some rocks, about this big. We'll need a few.” 

Gloin was all business as he addressed the Dwarves and issued out tasks. He seemed to know exactly what he was doing and no one questioned him or stood in his way. Even Thorin. Though Gandalf did step in to offer more supplies he had in his pack.

Thorin had first-hand experience with his sister during her time of bleeding. He cursed himself for not thinking about it sooner. Y/N would be going through this… when? Every few months? One month? He wasn’t familiar with the blood cycles of human females. It was yet another inconvenience that would require special care he couldn’t afford to provide. Was it another hindrance? Yes. However, it was out of everyone’s control; this was a completely natural occurrence, and the only thing that could be done now was comfort her as best they could. 

Seeing Y/N in such pain had made him realize how delicate she truly was. Precious things often were, his father used to say. And it was more reason to protect her. As he broke away from her to assist, Thorin wondered for the first time since she earned his acceptance if she wouldn’t be safer somewhere else… The road was no place for a woman. 

Activity buzzing around them, his men arranged a comfortable layout for Y/N using Gloin’s coat and Thorin folded his own on top of it to offer her head better support with his dense furs and went to reach for Y/N to help sit her up. 

“God, it hurts so bad… no, don’t touch me!” 

“You cannot lay here in the dirt. It will be only a moment, come,” Thorin cooed gently. 

With a hiss of pain that made him immensely thankful he didn’t have to endure such a painful bodily experience, Thorin managed to coax her and carefully picked her up bridal style to carry her over to where the makeshift bed roll was located and delicately laid her on top of it. 

Y/N instantly curled in on herself, sobbing quietly, gripping her abdomen and tossing and turning as the pain rippled through her. Thorin just stood there, feeling utterly helpless and awkward. 

“What can I do?” he asked calmly. 

“Get Fili, I want Fili!” Was what Y/N wanted to say. No wonder her emotions were all haywire lately and she was craving sexual stimulation… she should have known what was causing it and she should have kept better track of the days so she knew when to expect it, especially as her symptoms were abundantly obvious! Idiot. 

Y/N didn’t want to be near Thorin right now. Not like this. She was beyond humiliated, and wanted to settle her head in Fili’s lap so he could stroke her hair to help her through this awful agony as he’d done for her headaches during her nightmares and visions. But how strange would it be to request that? It would raise so many questions. The pain had robbed her of rational thought; her hormones were flaring and retreating in waves and she wanted to both snap at him and cuddle for comfort, not caring who saw. Instead, she answered with the only honest thing she could say.

“I don’t know,” Y/N sobbed. 

She didn’t want to talk anymore, she didn’t want to cry. Everything hurt, she was flustered, and she couldn’t get comfortable. As her body shook and she tossed around throughout the clenching and unclenching of her sensitive muscles, Thorin sank down to sit beside her and slid his hand into her own to lace his fingers with hers.

“When the pain is too much, I want you to grip my hand as hard as you can.” 

Shit, he didn’t need to tell her twice! Y/N gripped his large, rough hand right then and there, squeezing a bit more tightly every now and then, but it was nothing he couldn’t handle. He just didn’t want to stand around and be useless while she suffered so. Thorin watched as the group worked obediently on their given tasks with Gloin orchestrating it all. Fili was running rapidly in and out of the forest to confirm if he had the right stones Gloin wanted him to get. Ori was knitting as fast as his fingers were able. Ori was mashing up the poppies for her medicine. Dori eventually brought over tea and Thorin set it aside since Y/N was not feeling up to consuming anything. And for everyone else who didn’t have a task, they stayed out of the way.

After twenty minutes or so went by, Gloin approached them both with something wrapped in a large, knitted square. It appeared to be a rock the size of his palm. 

“To ease the muscle,” Gloin nodded once, handing it to Thorin. He accepted it without letting go of Y/N’s hand and found that the rock was heated to a very high temperature. He raised an eyebrow to the red-bearded Dwarf.

“Ya put it on here—” he pointed in the general direction on her body where she was cramping “—the heat will soothe the muscle contractions. My wife says heat is a lass’s best friend at times like this.” Thorin nodded in thanks and weighed the bundle in his hand, bouncing it to gauge properly.

“It is too heavy for her and her pain is too severe.” 

Instead, Thorin unwrapped the cloth and held the burning rock in his hand directly, enduring the temperature was a little too much for comfort. When he was done absorbing the heat, he placed his hand across her stomach as gently as he could, taking care not to use any pressure. Y/N jumped at the touch. 

“Am I hurting you?” his concerned voice inquired. Thorin kept his hand where it was when she shook her head. 

“Nice…” she whispered out hoarsely. “Warm.”

“Relax,” he murmured earnestly. “Rest.”

Gloin observed the sight and cleared his throat before promptly shuffling off. “I’ll see how far along Oin is with her medicine.”

After several more minutes, Y/N’s breathing slowed and he felt her hand grow slack in his own and he slowly withdrew it away to flex his fingers, making sure not to jostle her with the other hand that was still on her stomach warming her aching muscles. Y/N had finally fallen asleep from exhaustion.

Balin approached a few minutes later towing with him another heated rock. Thorin exchanged it with the other one that had gone cool. He repeated the process of heating his hand up and then placed it gingerly on Y/N’s stomach to help with the muscle contractions in case they started up again. 

“Poor lass,” Balin sighed, keeping his voice low. “Kili is beside himself with guilt, try not to be too harsh on the lad,” he added when Thorin’s face hardened at the mention of his name. 

He growled. “He should have been more careful. Laying his hands on her like that…” 

“The lass is tough like a dam on her better days, she’s no stranger to rough housing. It was just an accident, he’d never hurt her intentionally.”

Thorin only grunted. 

Balin smiled softly at the sight of Thorin doting on her and reconsidered their talk from the other night. He was actually quite astonished at this behavior, given that they weren’t even courting. Balin still wasn’t sure what Mahal’s will was with the lass, beyond her runes, but he would definitely be paying more attention. He gave a look around camp and everyone was either staying away or hard at work on their tasks from Gloin. Looking back to Thorin, Balin wondered if the sight of this would spark any ideas in their companions' minds. Or more so, if Thorin cared if it did.

In any case, Balin was just pleased that the two weren’t fighting or arguing with each other anymore. They’d certainly come a long way from their rough beginning. He said, “This is very sweet of ya, what you’re doing.”

“It is the only thing I could think to do. Dis was never this bad during her cycle… do you think something is wrong?”

Balin shrugged. “I’m not qualified to answer that question, laddie, being neither female or human.” 

Thorin withdrew the hand that was warming her and stretched his fingers again before carefully standing so as not to disturb her. “We cannot afford to go through this however often it is to occur. If she becomes incapacitated each time she goes through her bleeding, we may have to leave her behind...” He certainly didn’t want to. Not after learning what she was to them. 

“Let’s not get hasty here! This minor bump in the road aside, she belongs with us. I wouldn't trust a blessing from Mahal in any other hands but our own. Oin or Gandalf may be able to whip up a remedy to ease her pains and we can determine the next course of action to prepare for when this happens again.” 

Thorin sighed, pressing his fingers into his temples, smoothing out the worry lines that were now permanently etched into his face. He had enough troubles as it was and now this. He was supposed to pretend their fleeting moment of passion never happened; but here he was caring for her… what he was doing now, would that draw in unnecessary attention to them? 

Thorin’s eyes scanned the camp, searching for anyone who might be staring. Drawing up some ridiculous conclusions, maybe even piecing together the incident in the den and thinking that they—

Y/N let out a muffled cry. 

Balin chuckled quietly at Thorin’s worried expression before leaving them be, with Thorin looking to him with subdued panic in his tired eyes. He hesitated just a moment but then swallowed and knelt down beside her. 

“What do you need?” he asked.

* * * * *

On the far side of camp very much away from Y/N, Kili stood hugging himself unable to focus on actually keeping his eye out for the watch. Never had he ever felt so terrible before, and he’s had his fair share of mistakes and wrongdoing! He didn’t mean to hurt Y/N! And he had no idea that she was on… on…

He shivered, burying his face in his hands and digging his fingers into his hairline and silently thanking Mahal for gifting him with a hammer and set of stones instead of _ that_.

Kili tried to convince himself that what Y/N was going through was a completely natural thing. His own mother was still experiencing hers every few months. But he couldn’t help but be mildly put off seeing it in action from someone outside his family—his brother’s _ One_, for Durin’s sake!

Would she ever forgive him for putting her in such agony? Would Fili? He looked over apologetically, hoping she’d have the heart to show mercy and started at what he saw. While Fili was in the forest retrieving more rocks, the hairs at the back of Kili’s neck bristled at catching sight of Thorin tending to Y/N, his hand now retracting from where it was placed on her lower stomach. If seeing Thorin hug her brought on such avid distaste in his brother, then if Fili saw them like this he would surely lose his mind. He’d be coming back any minute, too. Thinking quickly on how to alter the situation, Kili grabbed Bofur’s attention and waved him over. 

“Bofur, can you do me a favor? I’m to remain here to stand watch, but I really need to speak with Thorin. He is probably very upset with me and may not want to come, but you must insist that it’s very important. I wanted to properly talk with him about what happened.”

The silly hat Bofur wore bobbed as he nodded. “Sure, Kili. I’ll go tell him now.”

Before he turned to go, Kili lunged forward to pull him back. “Wait! Y/N will need someone to look after her in his absence, could you get Fili to do it?”

Bofur smiled a certain way and tipped his hat, “Of course, lad! Leave it to me.” And left Kili at his post. 

Though Bofur got snagged by Gloin on the way to the trees to rope him into another task, he managed to inform Fili to switch with Thorin when he came back in with another sizable rock. They now had more than enough. 

“He could use a break, he looks absolutely ragged. Think you can look after our Y/N for a while?” Bofur told him, canting his head over at Thorin. 

Fili readily complied and eagerly beelined straight for them. His eyes instantly sought out Y/N and attuned to her welfare, hoping she still wasn’t in the throes of pain while he was gone, but he was pleased to see she was finally resting. Thorin sat just beside her, tossing one of the rocks Fili retrieved earlier from one hand to the other as he watched her. 

Fili was still very irked at what Thorin had done and felt that Thorin’s way of handling the situation was unwarranted. But seeing him now with a relatively clearer head, he understood that Thorin was just worried for her. They all were. But be that as it may, Fili was determined to look after his lass and be there for her in her time of need. And he didn’t want her to wake up looking into anyone else’s eyes but his. 

“I can take over from here, you should rest,” Fili said. Thorin didn’t even bother looking up.

“I am resting,” he sighed. 

Unwilling to back down, Fili persisted, “Let me tend to her now, you’ve done plenty.”

“Fili, there is nothing for you to do that isn’t already being done.”

He bristled, minding his tone and trying to at least attempt to sound reasoning. “I promised I would care for her, she’s my responsibility, remember? And you need your rest, Thorin. With all the travel we’ve done and what little we had for supper, we must rebuild our strength and prepare for the danger approaching.”

At this, Thorin finally glanced up, his eyebrows furrowed in question. 

“Danger? What danger?”

Fili tilted his head, confused at the shock in his voice. “Y/N told me that in a couple of days, we’ll be doing some more running from probable danger. I thought she told you?”

He opened his mouth, but before Thorin could add on, Bofur approached with a hearty ‘ahem!’ and stopped tentatively at a safe distance from the three of them. He took notice of Y/N’s sleeping form and dropped his voice and shuffled closer, handing a large pile of knitted cloths over to Fili. He didn’t know what they were for exactly, but he accepted that they were for Y/N. 

“Gloin said those are fer when she wakes up. Oin is still workin’ on her medicine and should be done in… I believe his exact words were, ‘two shakes of a lamb’s tail’. Thorin, Kili wants to have a word with ya.” Bofur jabbed his thumb back to a demur-looking Kili.

“Says it’s important,” he tacked on pointedly when Thorin didn’t budge. Thorin sighed heavily, exhaling through his nose with visible, seething annoyance.

“Your brother,” Thorin grunted sourly, turning to Fili as he stood. “He is not to come near the girl until her thigh is healed and her cycle has ended. Am I clear?”

“He didn’t mean to hurt her,” Fili defended ardently. Kili did seem to have an unintentional tendency of exacerbating Y/N’s healing process, but he was still undergoing his punishment from reopening her stitches and he already felt awful enough about what he’d done as it was. It didn’t seem fair to keep him apart from her, but Fili did understand the reason why. 

“He is not to come near her,” Thorin repeated firmly before stomping his way to Fili’s expectant brother. 

Fili sighed as he and Bofur watched him go before turning his attention back to Y/N. After he squeezed in beside her, Fili sifted through the wads of knitting and put them off to the side for later. 

Bofur continued to loiter and Fili looked at him expectantly. Bofur seemed torn about something and he fidgeted in place a moment before meeting Fili’s eye directly. 

_ “You need to be more careful about your actions before someone catches on,” _ Bofur said lowly in Khuzdul.

Considering the implication in his voice, Fili felt the blood drain from his face and he swallowed nervously, playing dumb. _ “What are you talking about?” _

Bofur smirked. _ “Let’s just say I’m very observant and that move you pulled, or tried to pull, could very well have been your undoing. Honestly, lad, if you want to keep your feelings a secret, you’ll have to do much better in controlling that temper. Oh, and yer welcome, by the by.” _

Fili wanted to continue to insist he had no idea what Bofur was implying and stuttered through an excuse which only served to give him away even more. He ran a hand over his face in defeat as Bofur continued to smile cheekily at him and knew he was done for.

_ “How in the world did you know?” _

Bofur shrugged and giggled, rocking on his heels like a giddy child. _ “Well, at first I only had a theory and started putting some ideas together. But after I started paying closer attention to the two of you, I didn’t have to.” _

_ “At first…? How long have you known?” _

_ “Rivendell.” _

Fili groaned in disbelief. He couldn’t believe this. He was so sure that he’d been so careful about it! And for Bofur of all people to have known since way back then aside from Kili? Then...

_ “Bless me and all that is good in this world, does anybody else know?” _ Fili whispered. Like, oh say, his uncle, king under the mountain and direct father figure who warned him not to have any feelings for her? But he knew that if Thorin knew, he would have spoken to him about it by now. Small groups and big secrets were a dangerous mixture in the wrong hands, and all at once Fili felt dark clouds rolling in above him. 

Now it was Bofur’s turn to look nervous. He dipped his head into his shoulders and fiddled with his thumbs, which did nothing but increase the anxiety Fili was feeling as he stewed in the worst possible scenarios. 

_ “I _ ** _might _ ** _ have said word to Bilbo, but he hasn’t told a soul and neither have I! Honest!” _

“Ugh…” Fili groaned into his hands before slumping forward. Well, so much for being discreet. Seeing him in such distress had Bofur hastily shuffling over to pat him comfortingly. 

_ “Truly, yer secret is safe with me, lad! If I had any intentions of spreading it around, Thorin would be walkin’ around with a shiner on ‘im somewhere by now.” _

Fili surveyed him suspiciously. Bofur had never given any of them any reason not to trust him. In fact, Y/N had confided in this odd Dwarf from time to time, herself. But in regards to Fili’s secret, and his courting intentions, he didn’t know how he felt about having someone else in on his plans that he hadn’t even discussed with. It wasn't considered very comely for dwarrows to interfere in the rituals, and Fili wasn’t even sure if Bofur did so or not without his knowing. 

_ “Why have you kept it to yourself all this time? Why have you never spoken with me about it until now?” _ Fili questioned, feeling highly exposed.

_ “I never intended to say anything about it at all, actually. I was happy to watch it all unfold from afar and help ya along if I could by creating opportune openings; without directly involving myself, a’course! The reason why I stepped in now, though, was because you almost struck your uncle in front of the whole Company over her while she was lying on the ground in pain. That would have created some questions you wouldn’t have been able to account for on the spot, I reckon?” _

Fili blanched weakly in response, now understanding why Bofur stepped in when he did. And he was right. Fili didn’t exactly leave any way for logical thought. He simply reacted on impulse and didn’t bother thinking of what consequences would come after hitting Thorin. What would he have said, ‘Oops, my hand slipped’?

_ “Thanks for that. But... why would you do that for me? It would have been my mess to deal with, not yours.” _

Bofur twirled one of his pigtails in hand and bashfully averted his eyes; they landed on Y/N and they had become softened and distant. _ “I know that. But I couldn’t bear the thought of snatching away a chance of romance before it happened—call me a hopeless romantic if you will, but as you get older, loneliness becomes more and more difficult to bear. Love becomes harder to find or hold on to. And so I’m an advocate for love through and through! It’s not my place to say so, but I can tell that she cares a great deal for ya. She was already in a lot of pain and seeing you fight your uncle was the last thing she should have been witness to, so it was partly for her sake, too.” _

Fili suddenly saw Bofur in an entirely different light. On the outside, he was a charismatic, jovial dwarrow with a song in his heart and a tune in his head. Fili would have never known that Bofur longed for a partner or was such a love bird at heart. It just goes to show that everyone is full of secrets and hidden desires. But unlike Bofur, Fili wasn’t capable of hiding it very well. How many times had Bofur nudged the two of them together since Rivendell that Fili didn’t even notice? In some ways, he felt he should be thanking him for helping his efforts along from the sidelines all the while respecting the courting ritual boundaries.

_ “You must think me very foolish.” _

Bofur looked over at him confused. 

_ “Hmm? What for?” _

_ “For falling in love with her—finding my One in a human.” _

_ “Your One, eh? Well, isn’t that something...” _ Bofur echoed reverently, a low whistle escaping soon after as he soaked that in. 

In the silence that followed, Fili’s eyes kept shifting over to Bofur, wondering what he was thinking. He found relief in the warm smile he saw him wearing as his brown eyes focused somewhere in the distance.

_ “That is very special, indeed. I certainly wouldn’t think you were a fool for that! I’m happy for ya, Fili! She’s a wonderful lass that suits you well. If she accepts your courtship, I want an invite to the wedding!” _

Fili didn’t know how much he needed to hear someone else—besides Kili’s—acceptance of this significant declaration until now. There were many folk who wouldn’t take the idea of a Dwarf and daughter of Man binding together as an occasion worth celebrating. Fili felt a certain weight lift off of him and his chest swell at his new ally. 

_ “Does she know?” _Bofur inquired, inclining his head.

_ “Not yet. This hasn’t exactly been a very easy thing to carry all this time; the circumstances are far from favorable, and then there’s the fact that we’re a different race and I don’t know if she’ll accept me for it. But still… I must try! If there is even the slightest chance for me, I will take it. I just haven’t been able to catch a break yet.” _

_ “Well, I reckon if you want the rainbow, you must have the rain first,” _ Bofur said. _ “I know the setting and timing isn't favorable, but I wouldn't delay, if I were you. It’ll all be worth it in the end, and Y/N is definitely a maiden worth fighting for!” _

_ “She certainly is,” _ Fili grinned at her, trying to bask in Bofur’s endless stream of optimism. After another beat of companionable silence that concluded their serious discussion, Bofur eyed the small stack of knitting he carried over before snagging one. He turned it over in his hands a few times and hummed to himself. 

“What do you suppose these are for?” he murmured to himself in Common Tongue. He got his answer when it rolled open, revealing a very particular shape that intended to sit in a very particular place. “Oh…”

Fili yanked it back from him with a chuckle and folded it back up to join the other folded squares just as Oin announced that the medicine was finished. Bofur hopped with zest to his feet and dutifully delivered Y/N’s pain reliever safely into Fili’s waiting hands. 

_ “Take good care of her, lad,” _ Bofur imparted before he prepared to leave them be. 

Fili gave a grateful nod and smile, which turned into an affectionate eye roll when Bofur added with a wink, _ “And don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” _

As Bofur passed by Thorin and Kili on his way to check up on Bombur and Bifur, he expected to see Kili getting a good talking to. But it looked as though Thorin’s mood was now far better off than when he first got there and Bofur smiled to himself, happy that all was well with the Durins once more.

And as for Fili, he was really rooting for the guy. He only hoped there was nothing else but smooth sailing from here on, but in the back of Bofur’s mind, he did have a lingering concern that traced back into the bear den... He didn’t have the heart to bring it up to Fili. The lad had so much love in his eyes and he couldn’t bear to squash it down.

* * *

Y/N stirred a good time later feeling slightly disoriented and warm. There was a dull, throbbing ache where her previous pain left off and memories of what happened came back to her in a rush. And cue the embarrassment all over again. When her eyes blinked open, she saw a golden head directly in her line of sight close enough that she had to pull back a little to make sure this was who she thought it was. _ Is this...? When did he get here? _ He was snuggled up so close she was sure this wasn’t real and needed a confirmation check stat. Thorin was the last person she remembered before she knocked out. 

“Fili?” her voice called into his ear. 

“Mmf. Yes, love?” he intoned before his eyes opened to find Y/N looking at him strangely in the light of the fire. He jolted up into a sitting position with a snort, earning a giggle from her at his expense. Mahal, he didn’t even realize that he nodded off. He swore he only shut his eyes for a second. Fili gave a quick look around to see that everyone else except for Kili, who was already watching him, shake his head in mock disappointment and mouth, ‘shame on you!’ before throwing in a saucy wink and wag of his eyebrows. 

Blushing up to his ears, Fili studiously ignored him and refocused on Y/N, now understanding that they had been sleeping very cozily next to one another and finally registered what he said. “I-I mean—sorry, I must have fallen asleep… uh, how’re you feeling?” Desperately hoping she’d overlook that pet name he mumbled in his sleep like a complete and utter buffoon.

She sat up a little to take in the camp—with Kili quickly pretending to focus on his actual watch so she didn’t catch him looking—and rolled over on her back. 

“Sore, exhausted… embarrassed,” she whispered. He settled on his elbow beside her and propped his head up in the casual position he always eased into for their nightly talks. Only this time, he was much closer than usual. 

“Aw, don’t be. It’s not like you could have helped it.”

“Still, I wish I could have suffered through it in private like I always do…” Y/N pouted. Tomorrow morning was going to be so awkward. What she normally could foster on her own had gotten blown out of proportion all because of Kili’s rambunctious energy. But Y/N still wasn’t sure a scene could have been avoided considering how bad she already was before the back pat gone wrong. 

Fili was quiet as he leaned over to retrieve something from above her head and fiddled with it in his hands before handing it over. “I’m sorry about what Kili did, he’d have never touched you if he’d known. Is it this painful every time, or did he injure you in some way?” he asked quietly. 

“They’re not always this painful and I don’t blame him for something my body does all on its own, but I will say that I can go without any back slaps from here on!” Fili seemed mildly relieved, but he still held a discontent apologetic look in his eyes, so she quickly added with a tired grin, “But it’s nothing I can’t handle! I got a lifetime of it under my belt already.” And accepted the bowl and waterskin he gave her. As if on cue, a more manageable twinge of pain lit up her insides and her breath came in through a hiss. 

Fili’s blue eyes stared at her dubiously before relenting. “You sure are a stubborn one. Tough, but stubborn. Anyway, that is for the pain. Oin mixed it for you earlier but we didn’t want to bother you since you managed to fall asleep. You just need to drink it with some water.”

Y/N sniffed the mashed herbs as he explained and grimaced at how strong the fragrance it was. Like citrus and mint. Which was nice, but it kinda smelled more like an air freshener than something you ingested for cramps. Again she marveled at the heavens for coming to a land without Ibuprofen and tampons. 

“Do I have to?” she pouted up at him. Fili chuckled at her childish tone before using one he often used on his brother whenever he had medicine to take. 

“Only if you want the pain to go away.”

Can’t really argue with that, so down the hatch it was. Y/N tried not to gag her way through it, but the mixture surely smelled a lot better than it tasted and she felt the speckles of the unpleasant remedy take its merry time as it slithered its way all the way down into her stomach. Shuddering at its awfulness and trying to use her tongue to get the remaining bits stuck to her teeth out, she handed Fili the empty bowl. 

“Ugh, remind me to inform Oin about the invention of capsules. That was gross.”

“Just be glad you aren’t ill with a fever. You don’t want to know what type of ingredients would go into that,” he smirked before perking up in remembrance. “Oh, there’s these, too.”

Fili reached behind him and handed her a stack of knitted squares and Y/N about praised the lord when she realized what they were for and was already prepared to get to it when she stopped short and looked down at the damp warmth she felt between her legs. A grim reminder that she had a mess to take care of first. 

No way she was walking around with blood-butt marks. Everyone already knew she was on her period, but that didn’t mean she wanted anyone to _ see _it. 

But it was pitch black out there and she needed to wash the stain out in order to apply her padding. Biting her lip, she made another quick glance around camp before asking, “Do you think you can walk me to the stream?”

Fili frowned and gauged the distance as he debated on whether or not separating from the group would be a good idea given her, uh, womanly hindrance and not knowing if anything was on the prowl out there. 

“Are you sure you’re up for that?” Immediately regretting he said it. Oh, that ire was fierce. He vowed never to question her during her cycle ever again. 

Y/N deadpanned. The more these Dwarves treated her like a fragile flower, the more inclined she felt to react like a raging bull. As if this was her first rodeo and had no clue how to care for herself or function like a human being. 

“It’s a period, Fili. I can still walk, even with my thigh. I just need help getting to the stream because my dumbass would get lost. And...” She sighed, feeling meek under Fili’s capability. “I’m scared to go by myself.” 

After casting another look of contemplation at their sleeping traveling companions, it didn’t appear that they would be missed. Fili smiled. “As you wish. I’ll go craft a torch to guide our way and let Kili know. I’ll be right back.”

As Y/N watched Fili walk off and waited for his return, her mind rocketed back to the sweet little ‘yes, love?’ he murmured to her. 

His voice was thick with sleep. Surprisingly deep, too. He was probably in the midst of a dream or something, but she wasn’t all that surprised to find that she approved the nickname he’d likely never utter to her again and fully intended to hold that memory very dear to her.

Fili was able to construct a torch relatively quickly, and after giving Kili the heads up on where they were going, he drew out a weapon in one hand as a precaution and navigated them both to the stream with ease. It took a little longer for them to get there due to their having to creep quietly to avoid making any disruptive sounds, and because Y/N was still a bit sore to walk. But overall, the trip wasn’t as scary as she thought it would be. 

But that was probably because Fili was there with her. 

“Ah, here we are!” he announced triumphantly, revealing the dark, glistening water from behind a leafy tree branch so that she could walk through. Y/N let out a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding and felt certain that no danger would come sneaking up on them while they were caught unawares. 

It was cool and peaceful out by the water. Nothing but insects chirping and frogs croaking could be heard over the rippling rush sound of the water.

“Thanks for bringing me! I’m just gonna go clean myself and then we can go.”

“It’s my pleasure, m’lady.”

He handed her the torch and… stood there smiling at her. Not moving. Quirking an eyebrow at him, she stuck the torch into the ground and took a tentative step back.

“Uh… are you gonna watch?”

At his puzzled expression, she maintained eye contact and pointedly started undoing her trousers and he jumped in surprise. “Oh! Sorry, I didn’t know you meant to—of course you’d need to take off your—Durin’s beard, I am an idiot. I’ll be over here, removing my boot from my mouth, let me know when you’re ready.” After he was finished being an adorable, flustered mess, Fili quickly about-faced and kept his back to her as he walked up a couple paces away. 

Y/N fondly shook her head at him and finished undoing her trousers before fully removing them and her ruined panties. The black ones with the lace that had become stringy and holed over time. Once they could’ve actually passed as seductive lingerie, but now they looked more grunge than sexy. Oh well. It’s not like anyone else would ever see her in them. 

_ You wish they would, though, wouldn’t you? _ The temptress in her cackled darkly. 

Shaking the images of Thorin and Fili in her mind that popped up after that thought, Y/N grumbled to herself. “I blame you,” she said to her now-soothed abdomen. It remained calm, but still she felt that it was mocking her. Thinking it was a blasty-blast turning her hormones and urges into knots over hot Dwarves. As she held her now unappealing panties in hand, she was still determined to salvage what little remained from her world and made swift work of scrubbing her clothing down so she didn’t have to remain bare-assed for the world to see any longer than necessary. The quicker she finished, the quicker this night could be over. Y/N couldn’t speak for the rest of them, but she knew Fili wouldn’t peep at her, but even so she turned her head over her shoulder to look. 

He had his back to her and stood rigid as a pole. His head shifted left to right as he scanned their surroundings. Even though a part of her wanted him to look—that dark, naughty part that really needed to keep itself in check—she couldn’t help but adore him for his honorable values and always being himself. He would always keep her safe and protect her, and could always make her smile and lift her up; she knew this as sure as the sun rose and fell. 

Her feelings for Fili were comfortable and familiar. And as she watched him from afar, for no reason at all, they started to deepen. 

* * * * *

Fili could hear the soft splashing of water from the stream and rigorous scrubbing as Y/N cleansed her clothing behind him and tried to ignore the chant of _ idiot _echoing around his mind. Gods, could he have been more naive?! She must think him the most dimwitted, ignorant fool in all of Middle Earth. Of course a maiden had to take off her trousers if she bled on them, but there he stood like a pervert watching. Smiling. 

_ Idiot. _

She must have assumed he wanted to see it happen. Well, he _ did _wish to see her out of her trousers, but…

“Ugh, you scoundrel, stop it!” Fili growled. But he only chastised himself further for recalling with pristine clarity her pretty face lit up in the fire of the torch as she looked him in the eye and started undoing her—

“Oh, shit!” Y/N groaned.

—the thought snapped as cleanly as a dry branch in a drought.

Fili hesitated to turn around, but ultimately decided against it, knowing Y/N was probably not decent yet and her voice was that of frustration, not fear. Unless there was actual danger afoot, he’d honor her privacy. No matter how tempted he was to peek. 

“What is it?” he called anxiously over his shoulder. 

“I just now realized that I don’t have a change of clothes, this is all I have! My pants are soaking wet and I think I’ll have to hang them to dry… ugh, crap. Well, maybe I can just shake them out and wear them anyway; what harm would that do.”

“You’ll get sick wearing wet clothes in this weather!”

“Well, do you have an alternative? ‘Cause I sure don't. Other than running around half nude.” 

Without thinking, Fili pulled out a variety of hidden weapons in his coat before shrugging out of it and holding the heavy garment behind him. He would shave all the hair on his head and face before he let Y/N go anywhere near camp without her trousers on. And he wouldn’t forgive himself if she ended up getting sick.

“Here, put this on. We’ll hang your trousers near your spot and you can wear this in the meantime.”

He heard the soft, padding _ tmp-tmp-tmp _ of her footsteps come closer, then saw her shadow join his in the trees in front of them. Fili’s heart thumped loudly in his ears. 

“Are you sure?” he heard her ask from directly behind him. 

He grunted and bobbed the coat to urge her to take it already. There was some shifting of clothing as she slipped it on as she uttered a ‘thank you’ and then Y/N returned to the stream bank to continue scrubbing. Her shadow retreated from his until it disappeared entirely and felt curiously empty in her absence.

But before long, she was finished and wrung out her trousers a couple times before sidling up beside Fili to inform him that she was ready to go, thanking him for waiting. He turned so she could pass him the torch to light their way again and froze. 

Of their own accord, as if they had minds of their own and had pined for her visage while his back was turned, Fili’s eyes raked her body up and down. They lingered on her bare legs—and bless him, her bare thighs!—that sensually gandered at him from where the end of his coat rested just above her knees. Even though Y/N was holding the coat closed, he could tell that she wasn’t wearing the long undergarments that one usually wore, or boots. He did not account for their height difference when offering his coat to her, but he was inwardly glad for it. 

Fili’d never seen a bare maiden’s legs before, or realized how much he had to see them before this moment. They were incredibly alluring, creamy smooth, and his eyes lapped them up like a parched dog who was finally given a bowl of water.

But what made the experience even sexier for him was _ she was wearing his coat _ . Y/N was wearing his coat and was _ naked _ from the waist down in it! Even his wildest fantasies never conjured _ this _heavenly image. Fili’s sex got hard instantly. He couldn’t help it. He felt like the scum of the earth, but he couldn’t help it. 

_ “Dear, sweet Mahal,” _ he whispered in Khuzdul. 

“What?”

“I said you aren’t wearing your boots,” he lied, eyes still locked onto her legs, which shifted uncomfortably under his heady eyes. With much effort, he forced them back to her face just so he could stop staring. As jaw dropping as she looked, there was no way she was going back to camp like that. Even if they covered up her exposed skin, she’d still have to be in the company of males and get up to change. They would stare and Fili might snap. 

He didn’t think Bofur would be able to stop him if they all made goo-goo eyes at her. His eyes darted to her trousers, which were only wet in the crotch area and thigh area. It would be uncomfortable for her, but workable. His sex throbbed when he eyed her skin again and he adjusted his footing just to ease up on the strain of his trousers becoming too tight.

Y/N answered, “I couldn’t put my socks and boots back on without needing to sit and since I don’t have anything on... “ She wiggled her fingers down to indicate. “I didn’t wanna sit on the ground all bare, and I don’t want to make your coat dirty.”

“Give them to me,” he said, holding out his hand.

Y/N’s face flushed at his sudden husky tone, unsure if he was angry at her or something for probably being “under-dressed”. She kept forgetting that having no shoes on (or pants, her mind unhelpfully tacked on) was considered indecent here. Meanwhile, she came from a land where you had to wear shorts, flip flops, and tank tops all year round just to cool off from the yearlong heat blasts. If Fili or any of them saw her wearing traditional Floridian garb, they might actually faint or catch nosebleeds. 

Y/N would have laughed at that if she wasn't feeling suddenly self-conscious in Fili’s change in demeanor and tone of voice. But as he knelt down with her socks and boots in hand and ran a hand up to her ankle, Y/N squeaked, “W-what’re you doing?”

“Helping.”

Fili lifted one leg to start, and she found out why he was behaving this way. Without his heaviest layer of clothing on, she got to see a side of him she never in a million years would have fathomed seeing reaching out to say hello. 

And her entire body heated up in response, skin prickling in a delectable rush. 

Fili managed to get her sock on without fumbling or causing her to lose balance and rolled it up the length of her calve with deliberate, almost intimate, care. When he got to her non-injured leg, she had to place both hands on him to steady her balance but it made her have to lean closer. And like the perv she was, she blatantly ogled the tent in his pants while his attention was focused on getting her other sock on. 

_ Holy tolito, Batman, if that’s the view from just _ ** _behind _ ** _ the pants... _

He looked up at her while he spoke, thankfully breaking her concentration by exchanging one sexual view for a gorgeous one of his handsome face. Fili’s voice was still deep, “I don’t think my coat will be as effective as I thought. The others will put up a fuss seeing you dressed like this. You’ll need to put your trousers back on.”

Y/N’s hands clenched them reluctantly, trying to squeeze out the water that was still soaked in. Whatever Elven fabric this was made of certainly held water very well. Guess it’d be too much to hope for to stumble upon a dryer somewhere out here. 

“But they’re still all wet! And I thought you said I’d get sick?”

“Not if you stay warm…” His eyes roamed over his coat approvingly and he pressed his hand into the furs that lined the neck, barely touching the ends of her hair. “Keep this on. Your trousers should dry fully by morning, and if they don’t, I’ll make sure to carry you first.”

Y/N opened her mouth to let out what she hoped would be a cute, flirtatious comment when a sharp pang hit her again, snatching the opportunity away. And the mood along with it. She hissed and gripped her stomach. Fili’s face twisted in concern.

  
“Did the mixture not work? It should have kicked in by now,” he muttered. 

“No, it did. Still hurts, though.”

Fili’s frown deepened and tried his hand at wringing out her wet trousers, but received about the same result as she did. They would need time to dry, but at least it wasn’t the entire garment that needed drying. He heard a wet plop as he wrung them out one last time. 

He had to squint to get a good look at what fell and when he shined the torch over it, he could make out a small, black pile. Y/N gasped and used her foot to reel it back to her. 

“Just pretend you didn’t see that,” she chuckled nervously before clearing her throat and snatching back her trousers from his puzzled hands. 

“I’m going to change now,” Y/N announced, looking around to see where she could lean to shimmy herself back into her attire before spotting a sizable tree. 

Fili respectfully spun around and listened with amusement all of her sounds of struggle as he waited. 

“Are you laughing at me?” she grunted at him, which only made him laugh harder. 

“You’re lucky you’re so cute or I’d kick your ass.”

There was a grin in his voice, “Aww, you think I’m cute, do you? I’d have gone for exceedingly dashing and charming.”

“And not the least bit modest, ya big ham!” Y/N chimed from beside him, fully clothed. 

With a fond shake of his head, Fili started guiding them back, just as carefully and slowly as they started. He still preferred the sight of her in nothing but his coat, but he had to say he very much enjoyed seeing Y/N wear his clothes. Perhaps someday he could see her in one of his tunics. Fili grunted and rearranged himself in his trousers before Y/N could notice, and just so the whole world wouldn’t see him sporting a hammer.

“Well, it’s certainly better than being a chicken.”

“Who’s a chicken?! Shoot, I’m prime ribs, baby!”

They continued on a quiet, lighthearted banter until they reached camp just a minute or two later. Before they could walk back into camp, Fili held Y/N back. All playfulness was gone from his eyes as he addressed her seriously. “Y/N, there’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about. But not here, not now, and not like… that,” he gestured at the blatant wet mark on her trousers. 

Thorin immediately sprang to mind and she swallowed her nerves down with immense difficulty, already summoning up excuses to use. Would it be better to just come clean first? Even though Thorin told her not to pretend it didn’t happen, she was sure she could trust Fili with it, but she also had a mind _ not _to tell him. Out of fear for what he might think of her. Out of fear for if he might look at her differently. 

As great an experience as the kiss was, the longer time passed since it happened, the more Y/N began to feel regretful and ashamed. She didn’t like keeping secrets like this, especially from Fili, but she had to. 

Y/N forced a smile. “O-okay. Tomorrow then?”

“Tomorrow,” he agreed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo based on my research, white carnations symbolize innocence, pure love, and a women’s good luck gift - FYI ;D ain't Fili sweet?
> 
> Woof... so much happened in this chapter. The last one ended with some saucy Thorin and this one ended with a bit of saucy Fili! Looks like he's finally plucking up his courage and getting his act together, but now Y/N has more to deal with than forgetting about her kiss with Thorin. Seriously though... HOW COULD ANYONE PRETEND THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN? 
> 
> I hope this was worth the wait! There's some important developments in the making that I'm looking forward to sharing. I didn't intend for this chapter to spiral out of control, but there you have it. :3


End file.
